Save Me
by ginkies
Summary: 6th in the Megan O'Connor Series. Waking into a new world where a former Angel is God, a familiar Demon is the Devil and two hunters are on the edge of breaking down; Good Morning The Bright New World - Ready For Me Yet? S7/AU.
1. Meet The New Boss

Hello my lovely Supernatural fans! How are we all feeling? Excited I hope, I just herd Jared and Gen are expecting their first baby moose soon! Good luck to them! Ok so this is the um... 6th in my Megan O'Connor series (didn't expect it to last so long) and I hope by now most of you already know how my stories go. If not, well I hope if you like this chapter, you'll go back and read the other stories. If your lazy like me, just read these and then, if you want, go back. Either way I hope that you enjoy the story and find it interesting.  
>Just note, I wasn't sure about breaking this chapter up, so it was shorter. In the end I decided that, screw it, think of it as a bumper start to my 6th story!<br>I wanna dedicate this one to an awesome friend and fellow authour Asya55! Congrats on the results dude! Knew you could do it!  
>*Disclaimer* I own nothing but the original characters and events... for now!<p>

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><p><span>Dean's P.O.V<span>

I couldn't believe it. Castiel, was God. He was calling himself God. And the angel blade Sammy just stabbed him with did nothing. Nothing. He was still standing without a scratch on him. I couldn't wrap my mind round it all. This was Cass, he was our friend. Now God? How the hell does that happen? While trying to process my best friends job promotion I noticed Sam swaying slightly behind Cass. I don't know how Sam was up and walking. If what Megan had said was true, he'd been through hell. He didn't look so hot either. In a matter of minutes my world had been spun upside-down for the hundredth time in my life. Castiel was God.

Sam's hell wall had broken leaving him short of a mess.

Megan was dead and her soul... in purgatory.

The Impala was wrecked, my baby was dead.

And Bobby... well Bobby was probably the only thing to stay the same. I just couldn't process everything. I stood there in silence staring at Cass in utter shock.

"Well, all right then. Is this good, or you want the whole _forehead to the carpet_ thing?" Bobby asked snapping me from my thoughts. He went down on his knee's trying to appease Cass. I blinked in shock as I watched Bobby go down on his knee's. Bobby glanced at me and Sam. "Guys?" Bobby asked looking at me. I glanced to Sam and decided to go down on my knees too. I started to kneel down, so did Sammy.

"Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me. Not love, not respect, just fear." Castiel asked watching me and Bobby.

"Cass..." Sam said swaying slightly.

"Sam, you have nothing to say to me; you stabbed me in the back." Castiel said coldly without looking at Sam. "Get up." Cass said to me and Bobby. We got back up on our feet.

"Cass, come on, this is not you." I said nervously, trying to rationalise with him.

"The Castiel you knew is gone." Cass said looking me dead in the eyes.

"So what, then? Kill us?" I asked trying to figure out this _new_ Cass out.

"What a brave little ant you are. You know you're powerless, you wouldn't dare move against me again. That would be pointless. So I have no need to kill you. Not now." Cass said with a smirk as if I was a child making wild and crazy stories up. "Besides...once you were my favourite pets before you turned and bit me." He added with a condescending tone.

"Who are you?" I asked confused.

"I'm God. And if you stay in your place, you may live in my kingdom. If you rise up, I will strike you down. Not doing so well, are you Sam?" Cass said and my eyes darted to my baby brother. He wasn't doing so good, he was swaying and looked rough.

"I'm fine..." He said looking at me and Bobby. "...I'm...fine." He said clearing his throat.

"You said you would fix him - you promised!" I said to Cass, hoping a shred of the Cass I knew was still inside him. Somewhere.

"_If _you stood down, which you hardly did. Be thankful for my mercy. I could have cast you back into the pit." Cass said plainly and then turned to look at Megan. "However, I did promise to bring Megan back. She kept her deal with me." Cass said walking over to Megan and tapping her forehead. I watched as Megan seemed to gasp for air before slumping unconsciously back onto the table. My heart fluttered hearing her breath, she was alive again. At least I had her back, I had my wife back. "I am nothing if not fair. But I will not fix Sam." Cass said turning back to me.

"Cass, come on, this is nuts! You can turn this around, please!" I begged hoping still that somewhere inside the _new_ Cass was the _old _Cass; the one who knew right from wrong.

"I hope for your sake this is the last you see me." Cass said looking into my eyes before disappearing. I looked from Bobby, to Sam, to Megan laid on the table. So much had just happened, and I was still woozy from the car accident. My mind just couldn't process it all. It wouldn't process it all. As I glanced around I noticed Sam's nose started to bleed.  
>"Sam, you okay?" I asked as Sam dropped to the floor cutting his hand on some broken glass. "Sammy?" I asked worried for my baby brother as we rushed over to him.<p>

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><p><span>Megan's P.O.V<span>

I woke to sunshine that was way, way too shiny for my liking. I groaned and rolled over, pulling some of the covers over my head. _Whatever I had to drink last night, it must have been the good stuff, my hangover is here and not going anywhere. I have to stop getting wasted so much._ As I rolled away from the light I realised something. The sheets I was wrapped up in, they didn't smell like my sheets. They smelled like a dudes laundry. The thought shook me awake like an ice shower.

_Why do the sheets smell like a dude? Option 1- I got lucky last night. Plus side, I got some. Minus side, I don't remember who. Option 2- I've thrown up on my sheets and stolen someone else's. Plus side, clean sheets for now. Minus, I have to clean up dirty sheets soon. Option 3- I have a man servant no one told me about and he did my sheets last. Plus, man servant would be hot. Minus, most unlikely to happen._

I decided what ever the case was I should probably go investigate. Slowly I sat up as the world span worse then the tea cup rides. I groaned again and held my head as the world finally stopped spinning.

"Oh yeah, last night must have been a good night." I smirked to myself at the level of my hangover. I glanced down at what I was wearing and was really confused when I found I was wearing someone's t-shirt. I sniffed at it, and it was a guys shirt. "Maybe I got lucky too?" I said with another smirk. Then I looked around the room. It was basic. Drawers, the bed, nothing stood out as a guys room. I mean it really didn't have that much in there anyway. I stood up and wobbled slightly. I stumbled to the end of the bed and noticed a chair with some clothes on it. I wobbled over and checked them out. They all looked to be my size, but apart from the grey shirt, and boots I didn't recognise them. "How drunk was I last night?" I asked myself shaking my head I little. I slipped on the white vest, grey shirt, dark jeans and my boots. All the clothes fit, so I presumed they were mine. I started to make my way out of the room when the world span a little again. _What the hell did I drink last night?_ I thought as I stumbled through the door.

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><p>I made my way out of the room and that's when it hit. That's when I realised exactly where I was. And there was no man servant, no getting lucky and it was highly unlikely I was hungover.<p>

"Please, no no no. This can't be happening. Not now." I groaned softly to myself as I herd a voice I had only herd over phone calls for so many years. I took a deep breath and made my way down the stairs slowly. As I reached the last step, out from one of the rooms none other than Bobby Singer walked out.

"Girl, it's good to see you up and moving." He said walking into the kitchen and I fallowed him slowly. I rubbed the back of my neck and gave him a small smile.

"Yeah..." I said sitting at the table as Bobby passed me a cup of coffee.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Bobby asked sitting at the table with me. I paused and took a sip of the coffee as I tried to remember. My mind was all mixed up. Some things I remembered as clear as a bell, others were fuzzy and a lot of things were just drawing blanks.

"Oh... I think we have a problem here." I said looking up at Bobby. "I... the last, really clear memory..." I bit my lip as it came back into focus in my mind. "Halloween. Well, a Halloween party, me and a few of the people off my course were going out for the night. I was dressed as Little Red, um... we hit a bar in down town Chicago and... it kinda all becomes a blur." I admitted with a nervous smile. Bobby sat there for a good few minutes processing everything I said. By the look on his face something big had happened.

"What year is it girl?" Bobby asked plainly. I let out a small chuckle.

"Ok, I know things are messed up Bobby, but the year, really?" I asked with a smile, which I lost as I saw Bobby just look at me with a stone face. "Bobby?" I asked worried.

"The year?" Bobby asked plainly.

"2006." I said plainly. Bobby lent forward pulling out his phone.

"And you've just moved to university at Chicago." Bobby asked me plainly.

"Yeah, come on Bobby. What's going on?" I asked nervously. I had only ever talked to Bobby Singer on the phone. He was an old family friend. In the sense he hunted we my father a long time ago. When I decided to move to the USA, to keep an eye on the big bad we knew was coming our way, my dad had made me call Bobby twice a week. Just to check in and let him know I was ok. I liked Bobby, he was surly, grumpy and generally liked to call people eijets, but he was a good man. Sitting opposite him at the table, his expression. It worried me. I was scared, that somehow, some impossible way, the werewolf gene my father had, had jumped to me and become active. It was the only way to explain how I was forgetting time and why I had woken up at Bobby's.

"Girl, I... this is a lot to take in." Bobby said wiping his face. My stomach rolled. I knew what he was going to say. _Girl I've known you family for along time...but I never knew you were a werewolf. I'm sorry girl, I ain't got no choice. I gotta kill you... I'm going to die at 26. I'm gonna die because I've turned. Oh god what if I killed someone?_

"You know what... I, I, I don't think I want to know." I said getting up, my nerves getting the better of me. "I'd much rather just-"

"Girl, sit back down." Bobby said watching me from the seat. I paused and looked at him, his face gave nothing away. "Sit down, I ain't gonna hurt you."

"You're not? So... I have, um changed..." I asked avoiding his eyes as I sat back down.

"That's another thing we need to check." Bobby said and I looked up at him confused. It was as if he already knew what I was. "Right now girl, I need you to look at this." Bobby said passing me his phone. I took it and looked at it. I read the date and my head went crazy.

"Five... five years? I'm not just missing a few days here, but years." I said in shock looking down at the phone in my hand. "Are you, is this April Fools Day?" I asked Bobby, half praying he would admit it was all a joke.

"This ain't no joke girl." Bobby said softly. "You really don't remember anything from the last five years?"

"I..." I passed Bobby his phone and stood up. I started to pace up and down while I tried to remember, something, anything from the last five years. "Everything is so damn fuzzy in here. Arh!" I growled shaking my head. I was so mad at what I couldn't even remember.

"Take it easy girl, you've been through a lot, it's gonna take time to come back." Bobby said standing up. "But remembering me, it's a good start."

"What happened Bobby?" I asked turning to the older hunter. "I mean, was it a hunt gone bad? Do I, am I hunter now? Five years and I don't even know who I am any more..." I said running a hand through my hair. Bobby walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Megan, your still the same person you've always been. Yes your a hunter, but your a damn good one. I've never seen anything beat you yet, and I'll be damned if a little memory loss is going to beat you now." Bobby said with a warm smile trying to make me feel a little better.

"I'm a hunter... I mean, I'd never hunt alone. Who do I hunt with?" I asked confused. Bobby looked a little troubled and sighed.

"I think it be best if you go back to your room and look through your belongings. There might be something in there that helps you remember." Bobby said with a soft smile.

"I just... yeah, yeah ok. I'll go back up." I said with a soft smile. "Thank you Bobby."

"It's ok girl. Just take care." Bobby said softly.

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><p>I went up to my room and walked in. There was a duffel bag and a back pack. I grabbed them both and dropped them on the bed. The duffel bag had clothes and weapons in it. There was a lot of weapons, knives, guns, salt rounds, holy water. Everything any hunter would ever need.<p>

"Well yeah, least I stock up right." I muttered to myself as I did one last check of the duffel bag. I looked in the back pack and found more things. There was a laptop, a small photo album and some other personal things. I grabbed the laptop and set it up, while it was loading I looked through the photo album. The first couple of photo's were of my family. My parents, my brothers, my best friend. I sat on the bed staring at these pictures and I don't know how to describe it, but I knew they were dead. I just _knew_ _it_. I ran my fingers over the pictures of my family. "I could really use you guys right about now... I... I'm so lost. How, how do I know who I am?" I asked the photos softly. I flicked past my family photos and found a few others. There were a couple of me and Bobby smiling together. Then a few of two men. One was tall, really tall, with light brown shaggy hair and green eyes, we were hugging in the photo and I guess I must have known him, but I didn't recognise him. The second guy, there were a few more pictures of him. He was a little smaller then the tall guy, but still taller than me. He also had green eyes and light brown hair, only his hair was spiked. One of the pictures he was wearing a white shirt and I was in a dress, lent against an Impala. I had cherry blossom flowers and we really looked happy. I studied the pictures hard, trying to remember either of them. Anything about them that could be useful, but my mind just came up with a blank. If nothing else I did think they were both pretty good looking guys.

"Who are you guys? I mean, sure you both look like hot male models, no arguing there, but how do I know you?" I asked myself softly, utterly confused by the pictures. I flicked through a few more and saw a tall guy with blonde hair and deep ocean blue eyes. He looked like a rock star and by the photo's he didn't mind posing. He was just another face I had no idea of. I flicked through a few more and found one with me, Bobby in a wheel chair, a man in a trench coat with short dark hair, the tall guy and his slightly smaller companion, and two women. One was a little younger than me, skinny with blonde hair and the other, look like her mother. Everyone looked so serious in the photo. I had no idea who anyone was, but I remembered Bobby being in a wheel chair. I had no idea why he was in the chair, or how he got his legs back. I just had vague memories of him complaining about being stuck in a damn chair.

"Stupid mind... why do I know my families dead and Bobby was in a damn chair, but not how and when, and why?" I said so frustrated with myself. I slammed the photo album shut and grabbed the laptop. It looked like the one I had just bought myself for uni, only with more stickers on the front and a hell of a lot information inside. I searched through my recent files and sure enough I was a hunter. I was searching for _Purgatory_ if what I was reading was right. That and anything to do with opening a door there. I searched back a little further and found a massive file full of detailed descriptions of monsters, demons and ghosts. It contained how to kill them and all the relevant information on them. I was a serious hunter and did a hell of a lot of research into everything I hunted. _The only problem is that I don't remember hunting any of these things._ I searched everything on my laptop and it just left me with more questions than answers.

"Yeah Bobby, sure this is really going to help me..." I muttered to myself and put everything back. As I was packing away my laptop I noticed a knife in a sheaf safe in the back of my back pack. "What's this?" I asked taking out of the bag and pulling it out of the sheaf. As the blade came out a small smile crossed my lips. I knew this blade, it was something I did remember. "Hello beautiful...oh it's so good to see someone familiar." I smirked as I held the blade in my hands. It was my family blade, the one I had been given when I left for America. It was a silver blade, with a weighted handle that made it perfect for me. "A silver blade... yes!" I said and took a deep breath, slicing my palm with the blade. "Damn it!" I muttered under my breath as I the blade sliced my hand and I bled, but that was it, no stinging. No burning. No werewolf. I smiled as I grabbed some bandage out of my bag and wrapped it around my hand. "I'm not a werewolf!" I smirked to myself as I finished tying the bandage off. It was a good thing, maybe the only good thing to happen to me, but still. Not being a werewolf was up there on the top five good days to have in my life.

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><p>I decided to go find Bobby and inform him of my total lack of any really useful memories. I walked downstairs and looked around for him. He wasn't anywhere in the house, so I decided to take a look out. As I opened the back door I herd someone yelling. It wasn't Bobby's voice and I was a little confused. The noise died down and I decided to check it out. I was getting closer to the voices when I herd Bobby's voice.<p>

"Ah, thanks. How's Sam?" The other male voice asked.

"He's still under. But alive." Bobby replied plainly.

"And Megan, she.. she up yet?" The guy was asking about me. I paused, it must have meant that I knew him right? He was asking about me. But his voice, I drew another blank. He sounded worried about me.

"We have a problem with Megan." Bobby admitted sighing.

"What? Is she ok?" The other man asked even more worried.

"Calm down boy, she isn't hurting." Bobby replied.

"Then what is it Bobby?" The man asked.

"She don't remember you. Remember any of the last five years." Bobby said calmly.

"Five years?" The other man shouted. "How? Did, had Cass done this to her?"

"I don't know boy. She doesn't remember anything." Bobby paused and I guess the two where sharing a look. "She, she might just need some time."

"Yeah... I swear if Cass did this to her..." The other man said with rage in his voice. I had no idea who this Cass was, but by the way the other man was talking, he was going to get his arse handed to him.

"I know boy..." Bobby sighed softly. "Right now I've got her going through her things, seeing if she can remember anything."

"What about God part deux?" The second man asked sighing.

"I got all kinds of feelers out, so far diddly." Bobby replied plainly.

"And what exactly are you looking for?" The second man asked confused.

"Exactly. What? Miracles, mass visions, trench coat on a tortilla? I don't know what I'm lookin' for." Bobby replied and I remembered the man in the photo, he was wearing a trench coat. _Is the 'new god' the same guy in the photo? The one in the trench coat?_ I pondered as I ease dropped a little more.

"Ah, well, he'll surface." The second man said confidently.

"So say we do suss out where _new and improved_ flew off to..." Bobby asked the other guy.

"Yeah? " The other guy asked responding to Bobby's pause.

"The hell we plan to do about it?" Bobby asked.

"I don't know, Bobby, I got no more clue than you do." The other man explained with a sigh.

"I don't even know what books to hit for this, Dean." Bobby said to the other man. At least now I had a name for him. Dean. _Dean what though? Dean... Dean... Dean... nope I can't remember any Dean- awesome(!)_

"Well, figure it out!" Dean, the second man, snapped at Bobby. "I'm sorry. This ain't in no book. If you stick your neck out, Cass steps on it. So you know what I'm gonna do?"

"What?" Bobby asked softly.

"I'm ma fix this car. Because that's what I can do. I can work on her 'till she's mint. And when Sam wakes up, no matter what shape he's in, we'll glue him back together too. We owe him that. And as for Megan. Well we roll with it, be thankfully she doesn't remember all the crap from the last five years." Dean said firmly with a nod.

"I'm with you." Bobby said and then I herd someone pounding something with a mallet. I decided to take that as my queue to leave and I headed back to the house.

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><p>Later that day I was in my room laid on the bed listening to the music on my MP3 player. Half the stuff on there I hadn't herd before... or I don't remember hearing any of it anyway. It was incredible. I had lost so much in the last five years. <em>I've lost my family... I just know they're dead. All of them. Even Karl. I just know it. But how the hell do I know it? I mean I know Bobby, but no one else. And this Dean, Dwayne, whatever, that guy. He knows me, he must do but who the hell is he? Do I hunt with him? And the guys in the pictures. Who the hell are these guys? Why am I hunting? What the hell...<em> I let out a small groan, I had way too many questions and not enough answers. I changed the music, to albums I was listening to, before I forgot. Songs I remembered. I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh as someone knocked on the door. I sat up, pulling my headphones out as Bobby walked through the door.

"How you feeling girl?" Bobby asked softly.

"Peachy." I muttered standing up. Bobby frowned at me.

"I know it's hard-" Bobby started to say.

"I don't remember nearly anything. And what I do remember... it's out of context. It doesn't make sense!" I said cutting Bobby off. "I mean I remember... my parents are dead, my whole family are dead Bobby!" I said looking straight at the older hunter.

"Yes Megan, they died a few years ago now." Bobby said sadly.

"But I don't know how! I just know they're dead!" I said shaking my head, before pointing to Bobby. "I know you were in a wheel chair! You lost the use of your legs! But how? I don't know! And how your vertical now! I have no idea!" I snapped shaking my head.

"Some things are just going to take time girl." Bobby said softly. "I see you tested yourself." Bobby added pointing to the bandage on my hand.

"How did you know?" I asked pulling my hand closer to myself.

"You turned?" Bobby asked ignoring my question. "You a werewolf?"

"No sir." I said plainly.

"You were. Nearly the whole five years. You changed not long after the party in Chicago." Bobby explained and I sat back on the edge on the bed putting my head in my hands.

"I just wish..." I said softly taking a deep breath. "I wish I could remember."

"I know girl. Look, I want you to come downstairs and meet some people ok?" Bobby asked softly.

"People?" I asked confused, looking up.

"Yeah. Come on." Bobby said with a nod to the door.

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><p>I fallowed Bobby down into the den and found two guys sat on a small sofa. I recognised the pair from the photos I had. One was the giant with floppy hair and the other his slightly shorter companion. The pair gave me a warm smile as they saw me, I returned the smile being polite.<p>

"So, Megan, do you remember them?" Bobby asked standing next to me. I studied both their faces, the way the sat, the plaid shirt, the faded jeans, the boots, the cuts on the taller man's hand. Nothing jumped out at me. For all I knew Bobby had grabbed two strangers off the street, took a couple of photos and asked me to remember them.

"I'm sorry guys... I... I don't remember." I admitted feeling guilty.

"Hey, it's ok." The taller man said getting to his feet and giving me a warm smile. He threw me, what I could only describe as a puppy dog look. "I'm, my names Sam." Sam, the giant said holding out his hand for me to shake.

"Sam, right." I said with a small nod and shook his hand. The giant, Sam, turned to the other guy and he stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans.

"I'm... Dean." Dean said holding his hand out to me. His voice, and the name, I recognised him as the man I had herd Bobby talking to earlier that day. I nodded and held my hand out to him.

"Nice to meet you Dean." I said with a small smile. He took my hand and gave me a small nod. We sat talking for a little while. The guys told me that I hunted with them both. That they were brothers and that we all got on really well. They told me about a few hunts we had been on together but nothing in great detail. Nothing really jumped out at me and as the night went on, I realised the chances of me remembering anything weren't that great.

"So, what happened to me? How did I end up like this?" I asked as Sam passed me a beer. Everyone went quiet and they all glanced at each other.

"Um... we were hunting an angel and a demon." Sam admitted softly.

"Well... um... what?" I asked confused and shocked. Never in my wildest dreams did I think angels were real.

"Yeah, an angel, called Castiel, he was working with a demon named Crowley." Sam explained with a nod.

"They were looking for Purgatory?" I asked and everyone looked surprised.

"You remember?" Dean asked plainly. I shook my head softly and took a sip of beer.

"Last thing I was looking into on my laptop. Although, angels, purgatory, didn't think they were real..." I sighed running a hand through my hair.

"Yeah neither did we until it all happened." Bobby muttered.

"So what happened to me?" I asked confused. Bobby glanced to Dwayne, sorry, Dean and Sam did the same.

"You, um, you died." Dean said picking the label of his bottle. The way he looked at the bottle, his voice, my death hurt him. It was plain to see.

"Died?" I asked waiting for more clarification. Dean got up and walked out of the room. "Did, did I ask the wrong thing?" I asked glancing to Sam and Bobby.

"Things are really complicated Megan-" Sam started to say when Bobby cut him off.

"The angel, Castiel, he was our friend." Bobby said and I caught the look Sam gave him. They were keeping stuff from me, and I wasn't sure that was such a great idea. "You gave up your life, to try and save us. All of us. Dean just feels guilty about it all." Bobby added glancing to Sam.

"I... I gave my life to save you all?" I asked processing it all. It was a lot to take in. Now I'm not saying I'm selfish by any measure, I never considered myself so. But I never thought, I would ever, ever give my life. Self preservation was one of my strong points, or so I thought.

"You wanted to save the world." Bobby added as I just nodded a little.

"Did it work? How did I get back?" I asked confused. I couldn't understand how I could go from dead, to alive. It went against the natural order.

"Castiel, he, used your death to reach Purgatory and he took all the souls in there. It gave him enough power to be the new god. He brought you back to life, like he promised you." Sam explained. "But I guess, he left your memories out of it."

"Did I go to Purgatory?" I asked the pair and they traded looks.

"We honestly don't know girl." Bobby admitted with a sigh.

* * *

><p>Needless to say I thought that was enough information to take in at a time. I went back up to my room and tried to work though it all. But all I could think about was Dwayne, no, Dean, walking out. The look of sadness and hurt when he said I died. It was all I could think about. That and the look Sam and Bobby shared. They were keeping more from me and I wasn't the biggest fan of it all. I spent a few hours pacing up and down as I tried to figure it all out. It wasn't getting any clearer in my mind. I headed downstairs to see if I could find another beer, drinking seemed like a good idea. As I walked into the kitchen I saw a light in the junk yard and figured Dwayne, Dean, was working on something again. I don't know why, but there was a complete mental block when it came to him. Even remembering his name was a challenge. I wanted to talk to him, I thought maybe I could get him to explain everything to me. I took a chance and headed towards the light. Once again as I got close I herd Bobby and him talking. I peered around a pile of car, they were lent against a scrap pile of a car drinking beers each.<p>

"She's gonna wanna know more, you know the girl." Bobby sighed taking a sip.

"Maybe Cass did us a favour?" Dwayne said and Bobby looked confused.

"What do you mean boy?" He asked in a gruff voice.

"She doesn't remember anything. Not, Cass. Not Crowley and everything he did to her. Not Sam, not hunting. Not me. She's got a clean slate. She... we should make her leave. Make her have a normal life. Far, far away from me, us and all this." Dwayne said seriously.

"You want to send her away?" Bobby asked shaking his head. "That ain't right boy she's-"

"She isn't anything! That's the point! She isn't a werewolf any more. She isn't part of all this! She doesn't even remember me! It'll be like Lisa and Ben. She can move on with her life. Live long and happy. Have everything she deserves!" He said before taking a long drink of his beer.

"Boy... I know you want what is best for her, but sending her away..." Bobby said sounding unconvinced.

"Damn it Bobby!" He snapped putting his bottle down. "She has gone through so much crap because of me! She stuck around because of me! She died because of me! All the crap, that's all my fault!" He snapped and I could hear all the raw emotion in his voice. He really cared about me. "I... she has a chance to escape it all! I say let her take it! Let's just tell her to go back to Chicago and live! We both know, she sticks around us..." He shook his head and dropped it down. I decided to go back to the house. Hearing them talk about me like that, it just confused me more. _If I was such a great hunter, why send me away? Why would they want me away? What aren't they telling me?_

* * *

><p>The next day I was sat in the den watching the TV when something strange came on. Bobby grabbed Sam and Dwayne, no Dean and brought them into the den too. We just stood watching the TV.<br>"The sudden deaths of some 200 religious leaders are currently under investigation. The Vatican has yet to issue a statement, but some are already calling this an act of God." The TV announcer said as a map of churches hit by 'god' came up. Suddenly a woman came up on the screen.

"We all saw him. No beard, no robe. He was young...and...and sexy. He had a raincoat." She said before Dwa- Dean turned the TV off.

"So it that your angel friend?" I asked the guys.

"Looks like it." Bobby sighed.

"Awesome." I said sarcastically.

* * *

><p>A couple of days later, I went out into the junk yard to talk to Dwayne, Dean, about everything. I figure he would give me the most information. He was keeping his distance from me and when I asked Sam or Bobby about him, they went quiet. I was sure he would crack and tell me what I wanted to know.<p>

"Believed to be target hits high up in white-supremacy organizations. The FBI now believes the Ku Klux Klan has been forced to disband." The radio blared as I walked over to him.

"Can't argue with that one." He said working on the car door window.

"Yeah, a world without the KKK is a better place." I said softly making him jump a little. "Hi Dwayne." I said softly.

"Dean." Dean corrected me. I nodded letting out a small sigh.

"Yeah... sorry about that. It's all kinda scrambled in here." I said pointing to my head.

"I bet." Dean said nodding a little, before returning to fixing the car.

"Yeah... so..." I said walking to stand the other side of the door. "She's looks a bit of a mess, Impala right?" I asked looking at the car that looked like it had been in a nasty accident.

"Yeah. But I'm fixing her up." Dean said with a nod and messed with the window a little more.

"So..." I said breaking the silence.

"Yeah?" He asked looking up at me from the car. I slipped my hands into my back pockets. Looking at him, looking into his eyes. I didn't want to hurt him. I got the feeling I'd done enough of it already. I didn't want to make his pain worse. If he wanted me gone. I'd leave.

"I... never mind, this whole thing. Never mind." I said and started to walk off. I took a few steps when I felt someone tug me around, Dean stood there looking down at me with, with almost hope in his eyes.

"You wanted something?" He asked trying to act cool about it all.

"It's not what you think, I... I haven't remembered anything." I said playing with my fingers. I glanced back up and he was still just looking into my eyes.

"Well, what did you want?" He asked plainly.

"Nothing really... it's stupid." I said with a small nod.

"Megan, you can trust me." Dean said and I smiled. I believed him. I believed I could trust him, with anything. It was the same way I knew about Bobby or my family. I just _knew_ I could trust him.

"I'm... I herd you talking with Bobby the other night." I admitted looking at the floor. "You guys saying how I'm better off like this. Better off not remembering stuff. But I'm not." I said looking into his eyes.

"You are. You have no idea the things you've been through." Dean said walking over to a pile of cars and leaning on them.

"It's worse not knowing. I can tell, all of you, your keeping things from me. Things I have a right to know." I said firmly.

"Megan, we just want to keep you safe." Dean said shaking his head.

"Safe? Who gave any of you the right to decided what's safe for me or not?" I asked getting a little annoyed at being treated with kid gloves.

"Well you did actually." Dean commented with a cocky tone. I was surprised for a second then his tone annoyed me more.

"I did, really?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

"Yeah, you really did." He replied with a small smirk on his lips.

"I don't think so mate." I scoffed shaking my head.

"I do." He replied pushing himself away from the pile of cars and shaking his head a little. He was loving arguing with me, where as I was just plain annoyed with him.

"How?" I asked firmly marching up to him and looking him dead in the eyes. Sure I was smaller, much smaller, but it didn't mean I was going to be intimidated by him, or anyone.

"You really want to know?" Dean asked losing his smirk.

"Damn straight." I replied with a quick nod.

"We got married." Dean said plainly and my mouth dropped open like a gold fish. "You really don't remember me, do you?" He asked softly after seeing my reaction.

"No..." I whispered out. I tried to remember something, then I remembered the pictures. I was wearing a white dress. _Was that when we got married? Why don't I have a ring? When did we...this is too much!_ "Where's the ring?" I asked not believing him.

"You gave me it back." Dean said looking hurt. "Before you went with Cass..."

"I... I gave the ring back before I went to the angel?" I asked confused.

"Yeah..." Dean said.

"Wha... ho... I can't. This is insane. How could I be married and not know?" I asked shaking my head. "I can't... oh god. You must think I'm awful, that's why you've stayed away. Because I don't remember... us." I said in shock.

"I don't want you to remember Megan." Dean said firmly.

"What? Why?" I asked shaking my head. Nothing was making sense any more. Nothing.

"You've got a chance to get out of hunting for good. A chance to be free. If I have to live knowing your out there safe, with no memory of me, I can live with it. I have to live with it." Dean said taking my hands. "I need you to be safe, and away from me, from this. That's safe."

"If you think making me leave is for the best, clearly, you don't know me." I said pulling my hands back from him. "I might not remember us. But I know who I am. I don't run from fights. Ever."

"No," Dean smirked and then quickly lost his smile. "You're still as stubborn as ever."

"I can't leave, you guys, your all I have anyway." I said with a small smile.

* * *

><p>The guys tried their best to fill me in with the situation we had at the moment. They all agreed it was better for me to have all the information and it was. I understood, that the guy in the picture, the one with the trench coat, was Castiel, Cass. That my death had opened some door to Purgatory that he had used to get enough power to become the new god. They explained how dangerous it was and how much we needed to stop him. I wasn't sure how you went about stopping god, but hey, small details right?<p>

I got on really well with everyone. Bobby treated me the same and Sam and Dean. Sam treated me like a sister more than a friend, although I had caught him zoning out a few times. I asked Bobby but he said it was nothing, that it was just something to do with Cass. I wasn't buying it. Me and Dean. Well I was just getting to know them all. Baby steps.

"A freak lightning strike on the heels of the fire that burned down the Centre for Vibrational Enlightenment earlier today. Said a spokesman, _this tragedy represents the largest loss in New Age motivational speaker history_." The radio said as I walked out the back to give the guys a couple of beers.

"Motivational speakers?" Sam asked confused.

"Yeah, I'm not sure new Cass gets irony any better than old Cass. Of course, old Cass wouldn't smite Madison Square Garden just to prove a point. He is off the deep end of the deep end. And there's no slowing down." Dean sighed as I showed up with beers.

"Sounds like he's on a roll." I sighed passing the guys beers.

"So, what? Try to talk to him again?" Sam asked smiling as I passed him the beer.

"Sam." Dean said firmly.

"Dean, all we can do is talk to the guy." Sam suggested.

"He's not a guy. He's God. And he's pissed. And when God gets righteous, you get the hell out of the way; haven't you read the Bible?" Dean asked before taking a swig of his beer.

"I mean even if you could talk to him? What do you say? Please stop killing all the bad things in this world?" I asked with a shrug.

"I guess..." Sam sighed.

"Cass is never coming back. He's lied to us, he used us, he cracked your gourd like it was nothing. No more talk; we have spent enough on him." Dean said firmly. I glanced at Sam as Dean went back to working on his Impala.

"Okay." Sam sighed.

"Hand me that socket wrench." Dean said from under the hood.

* * *

><p>I convinced Bobby and Dean to tell me what was going on with Sam. They told me he was in Hell with Arch Angel Michael and Lucifer for three months. That he had been torn into nothing and back again in there. They explained that Cass had brought him out originally, but not his memories or his soul. They also said Death, as in DEATH the horseman, had put a wall up so Sam wouldn't remember it when he returned Sam's soul. They finally told me Cass had removed the wall to make the three of them do what Cass wanted them to do. The more I learnt about Castiel, the more worried I was about him. We were stood in Bobby garage while Dean was getting ready to paint the Impala.<p>

"She's looking good.. Considering." Bobby said passing me and Dean a beer.

"Considering? I should do this professionally." Dean smirked at me as we walked over to a wheeled tool box and opened our beers.

"So.. Seen Sam lately?" Bobby asked Dean.

"Yeah, why?" Dean said and Bobby hesitated. Dean looked worried. "What? Well, spit it out." Dean said glancing at me.

"How is that kid even vertical? I mean, Cass broke his damn piñata." Bobby explained.

"I know." Dean sighed as he turned back to the Impala. I glanced at Bobby and he gave me a concerned look.

"I mean, I get how he came to help us back at the lab. Adrenaline. Sure, but now?" Bobby asked turning to Dean. Dean walked over to the antenna and started to tape it up.

"Well.. he says he's okay." Dean said without looking at us.

"Are you sure it's not just talk?" I asked softly. Dean and Bobby glanced at me.

"Sure, I'm sure." Dean said firmly.

"How though?" Bobby asked confused.

"I don't know. I just pray to God it's true." Dean sighed.

"We need to come up with a new saying for that." Bobby half joked and I gave Dean a small smile as he looked over to us.  
>"Seriously though, Bobby. Look at our lives. How many more hits can we take? So, if Sam say's he's good.. GOOD." Dean said firmly and I felt like I was one to the <em>hits<em>, I sighed playing with the beer bottle a little.

"You believe that?" Bobby asked plainly.

"Yeah." Dean said and we watched him, he hesitated for a moment. "No. You wanna know why? because we never catch a break. So why would we this time? I just.. just this one thing. You know? but I'm not dumb. I'm not going to get my hopes up just to get kicked in the daddy pills again." Dean said heading over to us again. I was about to say something when Sam walked over to us, playing with his hand a little.  
>"Hey." Sam said and I waved to him.<p>

"Hey. How are you feeling, sport?" Bobby asked with a small smile.

"Can't complain!" Sam said nervously playing with the bandage on his hand.

"Great. What's the word?" Dean asked plainly.

"Well, a publishing house literally exploded about an hour ago. The guy has a body count that's really getting up there. We gotta do something." Sam said looking at all three of us.

"What we've got to do is hunt the son of bitch. Unfortunately, I lost my God guns." Bobby said sarcastically.

"Well, I mean is there some kind of heavenly weapon? Maybe something out of that angel arsenal that Balthazar stole? There has to be something that can hurt him." Sam suggested.

"I'm sorry, angel arsenal?" I asked utterly confused.

"Oh yeah, even the angels have weapons." Dean said with a nod.

"Well, surely it's worth looking for them, right?" I asked confused.

"He's God, guys. There's nothing, but there might be someone." Dean said as he got an idea.

* * *

><p>The idea was to summon the demon Castiel was working with originally. The demons name was Crowley and all three guys had told me that I probably didn't want to be there when they summoned him. I refused to leave because, although I didn't remember I still wanted to help. We were sat in Bobby's basement, Dean stood by the stairs, Bobby stood by the bowl and all three made me stand at the back next to Sam. Bobby threw a match into the bowl and a flame came up in a few seconds the flame died down and a man was stood in the devils trap with a glass and a bottle of whiskey in his hands. He was wearing all black, black suit, shirt, shoes, he looked a little stressed though but I didn't recognise him.<br>"No. No! NO! Come on!" The demon, Crowley whined as he appeared. I was surprised he had an English accent.

"Don't act so surprised." Bobby muttered as he turned to face us. He looked a little surprised to see me, but I tried to use my best poker face.

"You're looking surprisingly alive." Crowley said looking at me, and I saw Dean tense up. I took a deep breath and smirked at him.

"Better than you, by all appearances." I replied firmly. Crowley smirked a little and nodded.

"My new boss is going to kill me for even talking to you lads." Crowley said looking at the others.

"Well, you're lucky we're not stabbing you in your scuzzy face, you little piece-" Dean said glaring at Crowley.

"Whoa, wait! What new boss?" Sam asked from the side of me.

"Castiel, you giraffe." Crowley snapped at Sam.

"He is your boss?" Bobby asked confused.

"He is everybody's boss. What do you think he's going to do if he finds out we've been conspiring?" Crowley asked looking at us all. "You do you want to conspire, don't you?" He asked leaning forward a little.

"No. We want you to just stand there and look pretty." Bobby said sarcastically.

"Listening." Crowley said plainly.

"We need a spell to bind Death." Dean said firmly.

"Bind? Enslave Death? You having a laugh?" Crowley asked looking at all of us.

"Lucifer did it." Dean said plainly.

"That's Lucifer." Crowley replied.

"A spells a spell." Sam said with a small nod.

"You really believe you can handle that kind of horsepower? You're delusional!" Crowley said shaking his head at all of us. I have to admit, I thought it was a pretty insane idea myself, but the guys seemed convinced it was the best plan. I wasn't going to argue when I had no other options.

"Death is the only player on the board left that has the kind of juice to take Cass." Dean explained.

"They'll both mash us like peas. Why should I help with a suicide mission?" Crowley asked shaking his head.

"Look! Do you really want Cass running the universe?" Bobby asked walking over to Crowley. In turn Crowley looked down and poured himself a drink.

* * *

><p>We waited to hear from Crowley, if he guys were right he would pull through for us but I knew none of the trusted him. I wasn't over keen on demons anyway. I walked into the kitchen to find Dean sat at the table reading a small piece of paper, it was crumpled like he had read it a few times. He looked really upset.<p>

"Hey, you ok?" I asked standing at the door. Dean's head shot up and he shoved the paper into his pocket.

"Yeah, yeah," He lied clearing his throat. "How long you been stood there?" He asked standing up wiping his face.

"Long enough to know whatever you read upset you." I admitted and instantly regretted saying it. The hurt, lost look on Dean's face, it was like a knife to the heart. I felt so bad for even opening my mouth. "Oh man, I, I I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-"

"It's from you." Dean said plainly, cutting me off.

"Me?" I asked confused, Dean pulled the paper out and passed it to me.

"You wrote this before leaving with Cass I think." Dean said as I took the paper.

"Dean, I'm so sorry. I know you gonna hate me for this. I have to save you. I have to save you, and Sammy, and Bobby. You're my family. You're everything to me. I never thought, after my family died, that I'd find someone like you. The way you make me feel. I have never been so loved. Even though I'm this monster, you always saw me as something beautiful. I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone and grow old together. I will always love you, you pain in the arse Winchester. Megan." I read the note out loud and felt myself welling up. I looked over at Dean and he gave me a sad smile.

"We... we were happy." Dean said as I passed the note back.

"I... I wish I could just remember you. Us." I admitted sadly. "But I don't."

"I know." Dean said clearing his throat. "I... it's better this way. I still think you should leave though." Dean admitted looking away from me.

"You want me away, because I don't remember us?" I asked softly.

"I want you away, because its safer for you." Dean said looking at me.

"But you guys, your not going to be safe." I said shaking my head. "The letter, it said you were all I had. How can you ask me to walk out on that?" I asked pointing to the note.

"Because you'll be alive! You'll live!" Dean snapped at me shaking his head. "Don't you get it! The longer you stay around me, the quicker you'll get hurt and die again! And I cant stand loosing you again! I can't stand seeing your dead body again!"

"I wont die!" I snapped back arguing with him.

"You said that last time!" Dean snapped back at me. At this point Sam and Bobby came rushing into the room.

"What's happening?" Bobby asked glancing from me to Dean.

"I wont leave just because you're scared I'm going to die!" I snapped at Dean.

"You need to be safe! Away from me IS Safer!" Dean snapped back.

"No!" I yelled back before storming out of the kitchen.

* * *

><p>The next day I still wasn't talking that much with Dean. Sam had tried to make me see his point of view, but I made Sam see mine and he decided it would be best to stay out of it. We were sat around in the den looking into anything about Death when Bobby walked in looking a little confused. He pulled out a sheet of paper and looked at us, passing it to Dean.<p>

"It's from Crowley." Bobby announced.

"Well, Who feels like hog tying death tonight?" Dean asked looking at all three of us.

"Old age is over-rated anyhow." Bobby joked as we all sighed. We checked out the spell and had a look for everything we needed to complete the spell. It was heavy duty magic and it looked like it was going to take some mojo to get it working.

"Well, we've got most of this stuff, but we're going to have to make a run for a few things." Bobby admitted looking at the list we made.

"Like?" Dean asked walking over to Bobby's desk

"Like an act of God crystallised forever." Bobby sighed looking over to us.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sam asked confused.

"Thinking it means an actual crystal. See, lightning strikes sand at the right angle - it crystallises into the perfect shape of itself." Bobby explained and I nodded.

"Lightning." I said and smiled.

"Act of God." Sam added finishing my sentence.

"Jinga. You got yourself a fulgurate and we're gonna need a biggie." Bobby said watching Dean stand in front of his desk folding his arms over his chest.

"And let me guess... rare." Dean asked.

"I found records of an auction. Winning bidder lives about nine hours from here." Bobby replied with a sigh.

* * *

><p>We gathered our things up and headed to Bobby's van, for some reason the guys decided it was the best way to get everything we needed for the spell. I walked out of the house and Dean grabbed my arm pulling me back.<p>

"You better have a damn good reason for grabbing my arm." I said pulling my arm free.

"You are not going on this ride." Dean said firmly.

"Yes I am." I said just as firmly.

"No Megan, you're not." Dean said folding his arms over his chest and looked scary. Well he thought he looked scary, it didn't bother me.

"Yes Dean, I am." I said plainly.

"You can't. I wont let you." Dean said firmly.

"Oh wont let me eh?" I asked raising an eyebrow. At this point Sam walked out of the house and saw us standing off.

"I'm... just going to wait by the van." Sam sighed as he walked to the van.

"You. Are. Not. Going." Dean said each word slowly.

"Yes. I. Am." I replied copying him. Bobby walked out the door and saw us arguing.

"Oh lord, not again..." Bobby muttered walking over to the van as well.

"Megan, you're not going." Dean said trying to stair me down.

"Umm... yes I am." I said hiking my bag on my shoulder.

"You can't remember hunting." Dean pointed out.

"I don't remember hunting here. I hunted back home. I can fight just as good as you." I said confident in my own abilities even though I had no idea about Dean's.

"I don't care. You're not coming." Dean said firmly.

"I am." I said staring into his eyes.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Will you two get in this damn van! We're not going to waste any more time with you two stubborn eijets arguing! Now get in my damn van!" Bobby barked from the window of the van. Sam was already sat in the van. I smirked to Dean as we marched over to the van.

"Told you I was going." I whispered as we climbed in and Dean pushed me over so that I landed in the van with a thud. I turned to him and glared. Dean returned my glare with a cheeky school boy grin and I felt myself fight a smile. _He can be pretty cute._ I thought to myself.

* * *

><p>We got to the building and I went with Bobby and Sam to check for an alarm. I was stood with Bobby shining a torch on the mains box when we herd someone shout.<p>

"Hey!" The security guard yelled at us. Me, Sam and Bobby turned to him nervously.

"Excuse me. You got any Grey Poupon?" Dean asked from behind the guard. The guard turned around and Dean knocked him out cold.

"Grey Poupon? Seriously?" Sam asked confused.

"It's what popped in my head." Dean said with a shrug. We went into the house and split into two groups, I went with Dean while Sam and Bobby checked out another room. We walked into the room and I spotted the sand lighting bolt.

"Hey, this it?" I asked turning to Dean.

"Looks like. Here, you grab the light and I'll lift the top." Dean said softly passing me his torch. I nodded and watched as he placed his hands on the box. Suddenly I herd a gun cock behind us. I glanced at Dean and sighed before we both turned around to see an older man and woman in pj's. The man had a shot gun facing us.

"Awesome." I muttered to Dean and he just rolled his eyes at me.

"Hi. Uh... I don't want to hurt you. Really." Dean said with a nervous smile as we held our hands up.

"I'm the one with the firearm, son." Dr. Weiss said poking the gun at us.

"I get that." Dean said glancing at me before quickly disarming the guy.

A few seconds later and we were tying up the couple to a couple of chairs. I couldn't shook my head as I checked on Mrs Weiss.

"We are so sorry." I said softly, trying to show her that we weren't going to hurt them.

"Okay. Yeah. Good." Dean said checking on Dr Weiss. I was about to scold Dean when Sam and Bobby walked in. They saw the couple then turned to us. I pointed straight to Dean.

"Hey, guys. Uh, so this is Dr. and Mrs. Weiss." Dean said with a nod to the couple in the chair.

"Hi. Sorry." Sam said nervously.

"I-" Dean started to say when I cut him off.

"We-" I corrected him and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Found the God thingy." Dean said finishing his original sentence.

"Well, let's light this candle." Bobby said plainly putting his bag on the table. We moved some furniture and set everything up for the spell. Sam grabbed the lightening bolt and crushed it into the bowl and added the rest of the ingredients for the spell. Dean's are was cut and his blood was added to the spell.

"You're welcome." Dean muttered as he bled into the bowl. Me and Sam smirked a little and I passed him a cloth to wrap around his cut.

"Sure it wasn't that bad." I added with a soft smile. Dean put a bag of fast food and a shake by the small table in the corner and we were all set up.

* * *

><p>We had the spell set up, we stepped back as Bobby said the spell out loud. I really wasn't sure what was about to happen.<p>

"Te nunc invoco, mortem. Te in mea potestate defixi." Bobby said out loud and all the glass in the room broke, the whole building shook and massive cracks appeared in the roof. "Nunc et in aeternum!" Bobby yelled and everything died down. We all looked at each other utterly confused.

"Um... Hello? Death?" Dean asked looking around.

"You're joking." A voice said from behind Dean and a very thin looking man in black was there.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered and everyone looked at me like I'd said the wrong thing. "Sorry." I said throwing my hands in the air.

"I'm sorry, Death. This isn't what it seems." Dean said nervously.

"Seems like you bound me." Death said raising his hands as a magical bond appeared around his hands.

"For good reason, okay? Just, uh, hear us out." Dean said nervously. "Um... Fried pickle chip? They're the best in the state!" Dean said heading over to the fast food bag.

"That easy to soothe me, you think?" Death asked and I felt the chill in the room. "This is about Sam's hallucinations, I assume?" Death asked moving over to stand in front of the desk.

"What?" Dean asked as we all looked at Sam shocked. Sam looked really nervous, and I don't think it was all from Death's presence.

"Sorry, Sam. One wall per customer. Now unbind me." Death said plainly.

"We can't. Y-yet." Sam stuttered.

"This isn't going to end well." Death said looking at all of us.

"We need you to kill God." Dean asked politely standing next to me.

"Pardon?" Death asked.

"Kill God. You heard right. Your... Honour." Bobby said nervously.

"What makes you think I can do that?" Death asked looking at all of us.

"You told me." Dean said plainly.

"Why should I?" Death asked and we all looked at each other.

"Because... We said so, and we're the boss of you. I mean... Respectfully." Dean said and all three of us looked at Dean like he was crazy.

"Amazing." Another man, this time in a trench coat said.

"Cass." Sam said shocked. _So this is Cass... peachy(!)_

"I didn't want to kill you, but now..." Castiel said looking at Dean.

"You can't kill us." Dean said firmly.

"You've erased any nostalgia I had for you, Dean." Castiel said holding his hands as if he was about to click his fingers.

"Death is our bitch. We ain't gonna die, even if God pulls the trigger." Dean said confidently.

"Annoying little protozoa, aren't they? _God_? You look awfully like a mutated angel to me. Your vessel's melting. You're going to explode." Death said to Castiel.

"No, I'm not. When I've finished my work, I'll repair myself." Cass replied to Death.

"You think you can because you think you're simply under the weight of all those souls, yes? But that's not the worst problem. There are things much older than souls in Purgatory, and you gulped those in, too." Death said and something felt familiar.

"Irrelevant. I control them." Cass said firmly.

"For the moment." Death stated.

"Wait - uh, what older things?" Dean asked Death nervously.

"Long before God created Angel and man, he made the first beasts-" Death stated and it hit me, a memory a horrific memory. A memory of my flesh being peeled while something, some beast, feasted on my insides. All the time I was wide awake and feeling every agonising millisecond. My blood ran cold and I felt like I was going to be sick.

"The Leviathans." I said coldly and everyone looked at me.

"Ah yes, you've had the pleasure of meeting them, I forgot." Death said looking straight at me.

"Leviathans?" Dean asked glancing from me to Death.

"I personally found them entertaining, but he was concerned they'd chomp the entire Petri dish, so he locked them away. Why do you think he created Purgatory? To keep those clever, poisonous things out. Now Castiel has swallowed them. He's the one thin membrane between the old ones and your home." Death said looking at Dean.

"Enough." Cass snapped.

"Stupid little soldier you are." Death said shaking his head.

"Why? Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I did a service, taking his place." Cass said walking over to Death.

"Service? Settling petty vendettas?" Death asked unconvinced.

"No. I'm cleaning up one mess after another- selflessly." Cass said firmly.

"Quite the humanitarian." Death said looking at me and Dean.

"And how would you know? What are you, really? A flyswatter?" Cass asked Death, getting in his face.

"Destined to swat you, I think." Death said firmly, showing he wasn't scared of Cass.

"Unless I take you first." Cass said firmly.

"Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cass. I know God, and you, sir, are no God." Death said staring at Cass.

"I think you were right, I should have stayed at home on this one." I whispered to Dean and he looked at me surprised and confused. I shrugged, it was the truth.

"All right, put your junk away, both of you. Look, call him what you want. Just kill him now!" Dean barked to Death.

"All right. Fine." Death said raising his hand as Cass looked over at Dean. Cass clicked his fingers and the binding was broken. " Thank you. Shall we kick box now? I had a tingle I'd be reaping someone very, very soon." Death said walking over to the chair and sitting down. "Don't worry - not you." He said to the Weiss and then picked up the pickle chips. In a blink Cass was gone and we were left with a pissed off Death. "Well, he was in a hurry." Death said munching on the food.

* * *

><p>We stood in silence watching Death eat and drink everything that Dean fetched him. Sam cleared his throat and he looked at Dean, nodding to Death.<p>

"Ahh." Death said finishing his drink.

"Um..." Dean said nervously.

"Shut up, Dean. I'm not here to tie your shoes every time you trip. I warned you about those souls how long ago? Long enough to stop that fool. And here we are again, with your little planet on the edge of immolation." Death asked glancing at all of us.

"Well, I'm sorry. All right? I've been trying to save this planet, so maybe you should find somebody better to tip off." Dean said sounding a little pissed off at Death.

"Maybe I should spend my effort on a better planet. Well, it's been amusing." Death said getting up and started to walk out.

"Wait, h-hold on, hold on. Just- can you give us something? You- you have to care a little bit about what happens to us." Sam stuttered.

"You know, I really don't. But I do find that little angel arrogant." Death said plainly.

"Great. Let's go with that." Dean said nervously with a smile.

"Your only hope is to have him return it all to Purgatory. Quickly." Death said plainly.

"We need a door." Sam said quickly.

"You have everything you need at that lab. Get him to return there and compel him to give up the power." Death stated.

"Compel?" Dean said confused.

"Figure it out." Death replied.

"But that door only opens in the eclipse, and that's over." Bobby added nervously.

"I'll make another. 3:59 Sunday morning, just before dawn. Be punctual. Don't thank me. Clean up your mess." Death started to walk out of the room and then paused. "Try to bind me again, you'll die before you start." He said without looking at us. We all nodded and sighed as he headed to the door. "Nice pickle chips, by the way." He added before vanishing.

* * *

><p>We were screwed. Yeah I think that pretty much sums it up, screwed. We headed back to Bobby's and I didn't know what to do. Bobby was trying to find the spell they used to open the door, he and Sam were convinced that they could get the door open again and they could get Cass to give up the power. I didn't know Cass, but I wasn't sure he would give up any power. People generally don't like giving up power. I figured GodsAngels whatever, would be the same. I was walking down the stairs when I herd Sam and Dean talking in the kitchen.

"You want some coffee with that?" Sam asked.

"It's 6:00 p.m. Somewhere." Dean admitted.

"We got to hit the road. I mean, how are we supposed to get Cass to that lab by friggin' 3:59 a.m.?" Sam asked confused.

"We don't." Dean said plainly.

"What do you mean, _We don't_?" Sam asked.

"I mean, we can't bring the horse to water, and we can't make it drink. Why fool ourselves?" Dean asked sounding like he had given up.

"Dean, look, I know you think that Cass is gone-" Sam said.

"It's 'cause he is." Dean interrupted.

"He's not! He's in there somewhere, Dean. I know it." Sam said firmly.

"No, you don't." Dean said plainly. There was a pause.

"No, I don't. But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself, and never gave up on me." Sam sighed.

"Yeah, and it turns out that you're about the same open book as you've always been. Hallucinations? Really? I got to find out from Death?" Dean asked sounding annoyed.

"What was I supposed to do?" Sam asked.

"How about not lie? How about tell me that you've got crazy crap climbing those walls?" Dean asked sounding pissed at his brother.

"Why? You can't help. You got a lot of pretty severe crap swinging your way lately, Cass, Megan and - and I thought -what? I thought why burst the one good bubble you had left? It's under control." Sam replied.

"What? What, exactly, is under control?" Dean asked sounding pissed.

"I know what's real and what's not." Sam sighed.

"Sam-" Dean started to say.

"Dean, look, we can debate this once we deal with Cass." Sam said cutting him off.

"Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my pie hole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is." Dean said plainly. "Hey. You got to be kidding me. _Massacre at the campaign office of an incumbent Senator by a trench-coated man._ There's security footage." Dean said and I herd him click a computer key. "Well, I think reaching Cass is, uh... out of the cards." Dean sighed. I walked into the room as Sam was walking back out. Sam looked defeated and I felt bad for him.

* * *

><p>"Evening." I said sitting at the table with Dean. He had his laptop up and some kind of porn on. He was watching it more than paying attention to me.<p>

"Are you here to tell me we can reach Cass too?" Dean asked glancing at me before looking back at his laptop.

"If I thought there was much point I would." I sighed. Dean looked up at me. I gave him a sad smile.

"Want a drink?" He asked softly.

"Please." I admitted. Dean nodded and poured me a glass, passing it to me. "Thanks." I said taking a sip.

"So... how did you know what those, um things were called?" Dean asked watching his porn. I drank the rest of the whiskey off and shook my head as the after burn warmed my whole body, it still wasn't enough to take away the cold horrific feeling from remembering. Nothing was ever going to take that feeling away from me.

"I'm just that awesome, another please." I said sarcastically, holding up my glass. Dean took it and started to pour some more.

"You've met them?" Dean asked passing me the glass back. It wasn't so much a question as a statement.

"I have." I said downing the whole glass in one. "I advise we get Cass to send them back or shoot each other in some kind of death suicide pack." I said seriously.

"You remember Purgatory?" Dean asked watching me now. I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and rolled the empty glass on the table.

"Does it matter? I mean Cass is coming for our heads now." I shrugged watching the glass. I could feel Dean's eyes on me. I looked up and sure enough, he was watching me. "What?" I asked with a shrug.

"You remember." Dean said softly.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said firmly shaking my head. "I want another drink." I said passing Dean the glass.

"Megan-" Dean said looking sad at me.

"Drink." I said firmly.

"Fine." Dean said pouring me another. He passed me the drink with a sigh.

"Thanks, go watch your porn." I said sitting back in the chair and rolling the glass on the table.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long we were sat there, I had a few more drinks and so did Dean. He watched the weird animal porn and I just sat there. Sam walked into the room and glanced at the pair of us. He turned to Dean as Dean raised an empty glass.<p>

"Only if you turn that off." Sam said pointing to the laptop. I smirked as Dean closed the lid and poured Sam a glass. He came and sat next to me with a sigh as Dean slid his drink over to him. We all took a deep breath and went to take a sip of the drink.

"Sam?" Castiel said appearing in the room. He was covered in blood and really, really didn't look so hot.

"Cass." Sam said shocked as we watched Cass try and hold himself up.

"I heard your call. I need help." Cass said slumping against the door frame.

* * *

><p>We grabbed Bobby and headed to the lab where we needed to do the spell. As we walked into the room, something felt so familiar. I didn't actually remember anything, it all just felt familiar. Familiar and scary. The place gave me bad vibes, I just wanted to leave, but I couldn't we had a job to do. I helped Dean put Cass down and we started to move things so Bobby could do the spell.<p>

"We need the right blood. There's a small jar- end of the hall, s-supply closet." Cass said to Sam.

"Got it." Sam said before leaving to get the blood.

"Dean?" Cass asked as we moved things.

"What, you need something else?" Dean asked glancing at Cass.

"No. I feel regret, about you and what I did to Sam." Cass admitted, and I glanced at Dean.

"Yeah, well, you should." Dean said with a nod.

"If there was time, if I was strong enough, I'd- I'd fix him now. I just wanted to make amends before I die." Cass stated.

"Okay." Dean said and went back to moving stuff.

"Is it working?" Cass asked looking at Dean.

"Does it make you feel better?" Dean asked looking at Cass.

"No." Cass replied. "You?"

"Not a bit." Dean said and went back to moving things.

"Hang in there." Bobby said tapping Cass on the leg. "Just a couple of minutes. Where's Sam? It's go time." Bobby asked as he walked over to me and Dean. Dean went to find Sam. He returned a few minutes later alone, but with the blood. Both me and Dean painted the symbol on the wall with the blood.

"That's good enough. Okay, step right up, Cass." Bobby said as me and Dean helped Cass stand in front of blood symbol.

"Lanua magna purgatorii," Bobby started to say and Cass fell down. Me and Dean rushed over and picked him up again before returning to either side of Bobby. "Clausa est ob nos lumine eius ab oculis nostris retento sed nunc stamus ad limen huius ianuae magnae et demisse fideliter perhonorifice paramus aperire eam."

"I'm sorry, Dean." Cass said turning to face us.

"Creaturae terrificae quarum ungulae et dentes nunquam tetigerunt carnem eius ad mundum nostrum nunc ianua magna, aperta tandem!" By the end of the spell a hole had opened in the wall and a bright light was shining out from Cass, it was all the souls returning to Purgatory.

Once the last had gone, the wall resealed and Cass fell to the floor. We all rushed over to Cass.

"Cass?" Dean said dropping to his knees. I checked his pulse, there wasn't one. I looked up at Bobby and shook my head.

"He's cold." Bobby added looking at Dean.

"Is he breathing?" Dean asked us.

"No. I'm sorry." I said softly.

"Maybe angels don't need to breathe." Dean suggested.

"He's gone, Dean." Bobby said softly.

"Damn it." Dean muttered as we all stood up. We looked down at the lifeless body of Castiel. "Cass, you child. Why didn't you listen to me?" Dean asked shaking his head. Suddenly Cass took a deep breath and all the cuts on his face healed. "Cass? Hey! Hey! Okay. All right." Dean said as he and Bobby helped him sit up.

"That was unpleasant." Cass said plainly and I smiled.

"Let's get him up. Easy, there." Dean said helping Cass onto his feet.

"I'm alive." Cass said surprised looking at all of us.

"Looks like." Bobby said with a nod.

"I'm astonished. Thank you- all of you." Cass said looking at all three of us.

"We were mostly... just trying to save the world." Bobby admitted.

"I'm ashamed. I really overreached." Cass said looking ashamed.

"You think?" Dean said sarcastically.

"I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you." Cass said looking at Dean.

"All right, well, one thing at a time. Come on. Let's get you out of here. Come on." Dean said as he and Bobby helped Cass walk to the door. Cass stopped walking and we turned to him.

"I mean it, Dean." Cass said sincerely.

"Okay. All right. But let's go find Sam, okay?" Dean said and we started to walk again.

"You need to run now!" Cass said pushing us all away from him. "I-I can't hold them back!" He cried out holding his stomach.

"Hold who back?" Dean asked confused.

"They held on inside me. Dean, they're so strong." Cass said in so much pain.

"Who the hell?" Dean asked in shock.

"Leviathan! I can't fight them. Run!" Cass cried out and I felt my worst fears rise to the surface.

"Go! Go get Sam! Go get Sam!" Dean said to Bobby, pushing him away to the door. I froze to the spot as the Leviathan took over.

"Too late." Cass/Leviathan said standing up straight.

"Cass?" Dean asked confused. I just couldn't move. I was stood right next to Dean and I was frozen.

"Cass is - he's gone. He's dead." The leviathan said grabbing Dean and pulling him closer. "We run the show now." He added throwing Dean across the room. "Ah!" He said rushing over to Bobby and throwing him the opposite side of the room. "Is that Megan we spy with our little eye?" The leviathan asked walking towards me. I couldn't move, I was literally frozen with fear.

"Stay away from her!" Dean yelled but the leviathan took no notice.

"Why would we want to do that? She's been so much fun to play with." The leviathan said standing in front of me. All I could do was shake my head as it stood there watching my fear. Suddenly it backhanded me with so much forced that I hit the top of the stairs and rolled down, landing in between Dean and Bobby with a horrible thud. My head was spinning and my heart was in my throat as the leviathans talked again. "Oh, this is going to be so much fun..." He said and laughed.

* * *

><p>So honestly, what do you all think? Tell me if you think I've lost the plot and you hate the way I've taken it. Tell me if you liked it too, positive reviews are welcome too lol. Either way, spent a few more seconds and hit review, please? Thanks.<p> 


	2. Hello, Cruel World

Hello everybody! Thank you so much to everyone who alerted this story, or me as an author! Thank you *hugs*  
>Big thanks to- Asya55, Sam and Dean crazy ass wench, Klandgraf2007, xxjempa1112luvSPNxx, and -For all the great reviews on my first chapter! Well here is the second- enjoy!<br>Disclaimer in first chapter.

* * *

><p>"Oh, this is going to be so much fun..." The leviathans in Cass said and laughed. My head was spinning and I knew I had a little concussion. I blinked a few times as everything came into focus, I saw Dean looking at me and gave him a small wave to let him know I was alive. He looked past me and I turned to see Bobby still laid out cold.<p>

"Bobby?" Dean asked worried. We both watched as slowly Bobby sat up with a groan. He looked about as good as we did. The leviathans in Cass turned to Dean and stared. "How many of you ass-clowns are in there? A hundred? More?" Dean asked as I noticed black liquid dripping from its arm. "Your vessel's gonna explode, ain't it? Wouldn't do anything too strenuous. In fact, I'd call it a day, head on home, huh?" Dean said watching the leaking leviathans.

"We'll be back. For you." The leviathans said looking straight at Dean before walking, kinda like a zombie, out of the room. As it left the room, I felt slightly better, only slightly though. The creatures scared the crap out of me.

"Well, this is a new one." Bobby muttered as we watched it walk out. Dean got to his feet and walked over to me, helping me up.

"You ok?" He asked looking at the cut on my forehead. I felt so stupid for freezing. It went against everything I was trained to do. I just shouldn't have frozen. It was stupid and could have got us all killed.

"Nothing that wont heal." I muttered, looking down.

"You going be ok with going after that thing?" Dean asked me as Bobby walked over to us.

"Yeah." I said softly, refusing to look Dean in the eye.

"Come on, let's find Sam and get out of here." Dean said glancing at Bobby before we headed out of the room. We found Sam lent against a wall, panting slightly.

"Sam. Sam. Sam! You hearing me?" Dean asked shouting Sam's name. Dean put his hand on Sam's chest and Sam jumped slightly, shocked that we were all stood there. "Whoa. Look at me. Hey. All right, we got to button this up. Come on, let's get out of here. Come on." Dean said tugging Sam away from the wall.

* * *

><p>We fallowed the trail of black leaking liquid to the near by water reservoir, as we reached it, we saw the leviathans in Cass walk into the water. It continued to walk into the water until it disappeared. A few seconds later a whirlpool appeared far out in the water and black liquid seemed to radiate out of it. Suddenly the whirlpool closed and all the black liquid disappeared.<br>"Aww, hell." Bobby muttered.

"Damn it." Dean added as we watched the water for any signs of the leviathans. The waters looked calm.

"You said it. Those... whatever you call 'ems..." Bobby said looking out to the water.

"Leviathan." Me and Sam said at the same time.

"Right. If they're in the pipes, they got themselves a highway to anywhere." Bobby finished saying shaking his head.

"Awesome." Dean sighed and watched the water. He noticed something land near the edge of the reservoir and picked it up. It was the trench coat that Castiel was wearing. "Okay. So he's gone." Dean said sadly.

"Yeah. Rest in peace. If that's in the cards." Bobby added with a sigh. Dean folded the trench coat over on itself a few times and looked down at it sadly.  
>"Dumb son of a bitch." Dean said shaking his head slightly.<p>

"Well, he was friends with us, wasn't he? Can't get much dumber than that." Bobby said softly then looked at me and Sam. "Come on, those things will be coming up for air soon."

* * *

><p>We headed back to Bobby's house. As soon as we got there Sam kinda fell asleep on the couch. Bobby took me into the kitchen to clean up the cut on my head.<p>

"Take a seat." Bobby pointed to a chair before walking over to the cupboard to get some things. "Those leviathans sure are mean bastards." He added grabbing the things.

"You have no idea." I said softly as he turned back to me. I tucked some hair behind my ear as Bobby gave me a questioning look.

"You remembering something girl?" Bobby asked sitting opposite me.

"No." I lied and Bobby just raised his eye brow. He wasn't an idiot and I was terrible at lying. Suddenly I herd footsteps behind me and turned to see Dean.

"How come you froze then?" Dean asked walking into the kitchen. He didn't look exactly happy either.

"I guess I wasn't ready for hunting as much as I thought." I lied as Bobby cleaned up my cut. It stung and I hissed a little as he wiped at the cut.

"You froze because you remembered Purgatory." Dean said standing behind Bobby so that I could see him. He folded his arms over his chest. He just watched me, his green eyes drilling into my soul to get an answer. Bobby glanced from Dean to me.

"I don't know what your on about." I lied again as Bobby placed a small plaster over the cut. I bit my lip as he put it on. The cut hurt.

"You're lying." Dean said firmly. I stood up and looked at Bobby. I didn't need someone pushing me about my memories. I knew exactly what I remembered and I didn't need to share them with anyone.

"We done here?" I asked softly. He glanced to Dean and then back to me. Dean didn't look too impressed, in fact he looked pissed at me.

"Yeah, sure." He muttered.

"Thanks Bobby." I said before walking out of the room. The truth was, I remembered something. I remembered the pain, the fear, the feelings. I remembered looking down at my body and seeing it being ripped apart by the leviathans. I remembered they were always out there in the darkness. Always. I guess that was Purgatory. I didn't want to remember it. I would have been happy if that was one memory that never returned to me. I headed up to my room and threw my jacket on the bed. I pulled my hair loose and shook it out. I decided that maybe a shower would help a little. I grabbed some clean clothes and a towel, I was heading out of the room when Dean walked in, closing the door behind him.

"What did they do to you?" Dean asked blocking the door. I sighed heavy and dumped my things on the bed.

"I want a shower, get out." I said dryly pointing to the door behind him.

"Trust me, speaking from experience, keeping it all to yourself, it wont help anyone." Dean said still blocking the door. I groaned softly.

"I really want a shower." I said totally ignoring his comments.

"Look, I know, you think you don't know me from Adam, but you can talk to me." Dean said softly.

"I am, your just not listening. I want a shower." I said slowly and Dean smirked at me.

"Keeping it bottled in... isn't the way." Dean said plainly. I stood there staring at him for a few minutes in total silence. I really, _really_, didn't want to talk about it. Especially to Dean who I barely knew. Dean sighed and finally stepped to the side. I grabbed my things and headed to the door. "Just, think about what I said, please?" Dean asked as I reached his side.

"Fine." I said and headed to the bathroom. The last thing I wanted was to think about it.

* * *

><p>I climbed into the shower and turned the hot water on. The heat was just what my tight muscles needed. I had knots on knots. The leviathans were back. And not just in my mind. They were here, on Earth, walking, talking and killing. Even under the hot water a shudder escaped. They were monsters like I could never imagine. They were creatures so evil, so.. demented. What they wanted, what they could do. It chilled me to the bone just thinking that they were walking around. I tried to forget all about the damn things. I tried my best to wash away the memories. After a long soak I climbed out of the shower and changed into some clean clothes. I popped down stairs to make a cup of tea and walked in on Bobby talking to Dean.<p>

"How you feeling girl?" Bobby asked as I made the tea.

"Tired, it's been a long day." I said rubbing my shoulder. It had taken the force of my fall and was aching now.

"You should get some rest. There ain't much more we can do about those things tonight." Bobby said and I nodded as I continued to rub my shoulder.

"What's wrong with your shoulder?" Dean asked watching me.

"I landed badly on it. I should have rolled more." I admitted and finished making the drink. Dean got up and walked over to me.

"You mind?" Dean asked glancing at the shoulder.

"Umm, sure." I said a little confused as to what he was about to do. Dean led me back to the chairs and sat me down.

"I'm just going to check on sleeping beauty." Bobby said leaving us alone. Dean stood behind me and started to massage my shoulder. At first it hurt and I sat up straight.

"You need to relax." Dean said softly as he kneaded the knot in my shoulder. I sighed and closed my eyes as I tried to relax. The pain dulled and soon it started to feel good. "That's better." Dean said softly working on my shoulder.

"Thanks, for this." I said opening my eyes and feeling a little better.

"No problem." Dean said as he stopped.

"And I'm sorry for being a douche." I said standing up.

"What? When?" Dean asked confused. I grabbed my cup of tea and turned to face him.

"Back in my room, and earlier today." I admitted with a small shrug.

"I understand." Dean said with a soft smile.

"I wish I did..." I sighed. "I just... Most of it is still missing in here. The bits I remember. Honestly, Bobby is the only good thing I remember from this last five years. It's all just a muddle in here." I said pushing away from the counter and smiling at Dean. "Anyway, my point, I just want to say, thanks. For putting up with me."

"Any time." Dean said returning my smile.

"Look, I know. I know you've got a lot happening right now. Sam, Cass, leviathans, me... I just want to say, the talking, goes both ways." I said looking up into Dean's eyes and having a feeling of safety wash over me. His eyes, I hadn't really noticed but his eyes were an explosion of emerald green. They were kind of breath taking. They were the kind of eyes that you could lose yourself in and die happy lost. They were amazing. I realised I was staring and started to blush a little. "Umm, so yeah." I said clearing my throat and looking away. "Night Dean."

"Night Megan." Dean said as I walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

><p>That night I finished my tea and thought about Dean. <em>I married him. I must love him, or loved him. He does seem rather hot. I mean those eyes... so green! Plus he isn't the ugliest guy in the world either. A hunter another plus, kinda. How did we end up together? Why did we end up together? Why does my brain want me to remember Leviathans and not Dean? Where in any world does that make sense? I mean, shouldn't I remember the good things first before all the crap? The photos make us look so in love, so happy. I want to remember that.<em> I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"I want to remember." I said to myself as I laid down in the bed. "I want to remember him." I said closing my eyes and hoping, my brain was listening.

_Endless screams bounced all around the dark damp pit I was chained in. Thick heavy chains pulled each of my arms and legs in different directions. I was sure, if they pulled any more my joints would dislocate and snap off. I screamed my lungs out for someone, any one to help me. The pain. The pain is worse than anything I've ever felt. The Leviathans were hungry and I was fresh meat. They peeled the skin off me, a layer at a time, slowly, enjoying my screams. Then as if that wasn't the end, they bit into me. The razor teeth ripping into muscle, bone, tearing at it all, trying their best to eat me alive._

"_DEAN!" I screamed as I prayed I could just die and the pain would all go. But it never did. Day in, day out for a million life times, the Leviathans would come and feast on me. "DEAN! DEAN! DDEEAANN!" I screamed again. I had promised him not to find me, save me. But who was I kidding? I needed him. I needed him to save me._

"DEAN!" I said shooting up in bed in a cold sweat. My heart was racing and it took me a few seconds to realise where I was again. I groaned looking at the clock and seeing the time was a little after five. I didn't want to go back to sleep. I didn't want to face the monsters in my dreams. I changed into some clothes and made my way downstairs. Sam was still out cold on the couch.

"At least someone can sleep." I muttered to myself as I turned and walked into the kitchen. As I reached the door to the kitchen I saw Dean fast asleep resting on the table. "Maybe it's a Winchester trait?" I muttered to myself as I grabbed some apple juice out of the fridge. I walked over to Dean and looked at what he was doing before he fell asleep. He was trying to track the Leviathans. I sighed softly. I carefully took the laptop out from under him and headed back into Bobby's den. I sat on the floor in front of Bobby's desk, I set up the laptop and sipped some of the juice. I had the most experience with the leviathans out of all of us. Not that I knew that much. Most of my knowledge came from them eating me alive, but hey, it was a start right? I sat at the laptop, my MP3 player in my ears as I searched for anything that could be linked to the leviathans and the water supply.

* * *

><p>I was searching for hours and getting no where fast. I didn't really expect to find anything, but I wanted to help. Sleep wasn't an option. I was humming along with my music when I glanced up and a pair of legs were right in front of me. I jumped slightly and pulled out my headphones. I looked up and Dean was stood there with a cup of coffee in his hands. He smirked slightly as my eyes met his.<p>

"How long have you been stood there?" I asked confused, my heart not slowing any with the smile he gave me.

"Long enough to know your listening to Breaking Benjamin again." Dean smirked and I blushed a little. "What are you up to?" Dean asked sitting on the floor next to me.

"Just... seeing if I could find anything." I admitted looking at the screen. Dean took another sip of his coffee and nodded reading the stuff on the screen.

"You find anything?" He asked glancing at me.

"Yeah, there is a lot more junk on the internet in the last five years." I half joked.

"Well yeah, but apart from that?" Dean asked with a smile on his face. His smile, it was infectiously cute. But I got the feeling, he knew that already.

"Fraid not." I said yawning a little. I was starting to feel sleepy, but I refused to go back to bed. To return to the nightmare.

"You been up long?" Dean asked as he turned to me.

"A few hours. I couldn't sleep." I admitted softly, trying to make it sound as casual as I could.

"Dreams?" Dean asked sadly.

"Dreams." I confirmed with a nod.

"It gets easier, over time." Dean said sadly putting his arm round my shoulders, hugging me a little.

"Time, awesome." I said sarcastically. "Whatever, it's not like there's much I can do about it anyway." I sighed resting my head on Dean's shoulder automatically. The second after resting my head I realised what I did and I sat up bolt straight. "Sorry... I just.." I mumbled blushing slightly.

"It's ok. You did that a lot before." Dean smirked at me.

"Before..." I sighed shaking my head. Before I could say anything else Bobby walked into the room and looked at the pair of us confused.

"What you are two eijets doing on the floor?" He asked with a smile on his face.

* * *

><p>Later the guys decided that Sam had enough sleep. He hadn't woken up, even though none of us were being particularly quite. Dean walked over to the sleeping Sam and tried to wake him up. "Hey. Wake up, sunshine. Up and at 'em, atom man." Dean said softly. "Sammy." He said touching Sam's chest. "Sammy, hey-" Sam suddenly jumped awake and looked scared for a second. "Whoa. That's twelve hours straight, I'm calling that rested. Here." Dean said passing Dean a bottle of water and some power bar thing. "Hydrate, and uh, protein-eat." Dean said with a nod, grabbing a chair.<p>

"Breakfast in bed." Sam joked noticing me sat on the desk near by.

"Don't get used to it. Let me see that hand." Dean said sitting back down. Sam glanced to the side of him, but no one was there. Dean took Sam's bandage off and checked the stitches.  
>"Eh, you'll live." Dean said and turned to me. I passed Dean the whiskey and a cloth. "Here." Dean said pouring the whiskey over the cut. Sam sucked in his breath with pain. "All right, take it easy." Dean sighed getting up and leaning on the edge of the couch opposite me.<p>

"So, ooze invasion. Any leads?" Sam asked as Bobby walked over and sat in the chair Dean was just in.

"I got all my feelers out. Whatever they're up to, it ain't," Bobby said taking Sam's hand and putting on a new bandage. "Ain't about going Mothra down Main Street. They'll turn up. You seem pretty eager to stretch your legs, you know."

"Mm." Sam said pulling his own hand back and holding it close to himself.

"Now onto our other big problem. How're you doing'? And do not say okay." Dean said turning to Sam and not looking impressed.

"I'm not okay." Sam admitted tying off the bandage.

"You think?" Dean said sarcastically. I glanced at Dean and sighed.

"Hey. Go a little easy." Bobby said as he and I looked at Dean.

"There's nothing easy about it, Bobby, okay. We acted like he had everything under control." Dean said turning back to Sam.

"I get it. I'm sorry. Look, I- I didn't exactly want to crack up, you know?" Sam admitted softly. He glanced at all three of us, with a lost puppy expression.

"What the hell happened back there?" Dean asked confused.

"Well, it's not just flashbacks any more." Sam admitted looking down.

"Well then what?" Dean asked confused.

"It's more like... I'm seeing through the cracks." Sam said looking down.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked. Sam paused and looked down.

"It means I'm having a difficult time figuring out what's real." Sam answered, tears forming in his eyes. I felt so bad for him.

"Hallucinations." Dean stated.

"For starters." Sam admitted.

"Well for starters, if you're tripping Hell's Bells, why would you hide that?" Dean asked shaking his head.

"I wasn't hiding it, Dean, I- I was just not talking about it. I mean it seemed like you two had enough going on as it was." Sam said and glanced at me. I was just another thing on the pile of crap landing on Dean and Bobby's shoulders. "Look, I- I just figured, try to hold onto the safety bar and ride it out, you know? But it's getting more specific." Sam said sounding scared.

"As in specifically what?" Dean asked gruffly.

* * *

><p>Sam sat in the chair as we stood around waiting for Sam to explain. Dean poured himself and Bobby a drink of whiskey. I gave Sam a sympathetic smile.<br>"What the hell, Sam?" Dean asked passing Bobby a glass.

"I told you." Sam said sadly.

"I mean seriously, how do you, how do you argue with that?" Dean asked glancing from Sam to me and Bobby. Bobby shrugged while I just stood there and watched Sam.

"I know. It's a problem." Sam said looking down.

"Well now wait, I got it. Why would the Devil holodeck you a whole new life when he could just kick your ass all over the Cage?" Dean asked confused.

"'Cause, as he puts it... _You can't torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away_." Sam said looking anywhere but at us.

"Okay, fine. But this Malibu dream mansion that he, he, he makes for you to take away is this post-apocalyptic mess?" Dean asked and Sam turned to his left looking at something that wasn't there. It was like he was listening to something.

"Sam?" I asked softly, standing next to Dean. He didn't respond so I turned to Dean with a worried look on my face.

"Wait. Are you seeing him right now?" Dean asked snapping Sam out of it. Sam nodded. "You know that he's not real. Right?" Dean asked plainly. Sam took a deep breath and looked up at us.

"He says the same thing about you." Sam said nearly breaking down in front of us. Dean looked at me shocked and then turned to Bobby.

"I'm going back to work." Bobby said walking off. Dean sighed and walked to sit behind Bobby's desk. I walked over to Sam and bobbed down to his level.

"Does he talk to you a lot?" I asked with a soft smile.

"It's getting worse." Sam admitted looking at the floor.

"And what does he tell you, exactly?" I asked listening to Sam.

"He... he tells me that I'm still in Hell with him. That all this... it's not real. Says Dean, you, Bobby are all a lie and that he's the only real thing." Sam admitted still looking at the floor.

"Where have you been when he's shown up?" I asked softly trying to keep Sam talking so I could find out as much as possible.

"Megan, just-" Dean said from behind the desk.

"Shut up Winchester." I said plainly to Dean and turned back to Sam. "When has he shown?" I asked Sam again. He took a deep breath and glanced up at me. He was nearly in tears. I rubbed his leg and gave him a warm smile. "It's ok." I said softly.

"He... he showed back at the lab when I went for the blood." Sam said and then turned to the side, as if listening to someone.

"And he's here now, right? Just over there?" I asked pointing to the space he was listening to.

"Yes." Sam whispered.

"Ok Sam. That's all I wanted to know. It's ok, really, it's going to be ok." I said standing up and giving him a hug. His arms wrapped around my waist and it felt like I was hugging a massive kid. He looked so lost and scared. He couldn't pull the real from the imaginary and it clearly was freaking him out. It would anyone. I looked at Dean and nodded for him to fallow me out of the house. Dean fallowed me silently until we reached the Impala.

"So you mind telling me what that was all about back there?" Dean asked folding his arms over his chest. I nodded and let out a sigh.

"Sure, I was trying to understand your brother." I said leaning next to Dean on the Impala.

"Well did it work?" Dean asked glancing at me. I ran my hand through my hair and pushed away from the car.

"He needs help." I admitted shaking my head as I walked a little away from Dean.

"Yeah, I figured that much." Dean said as I turned to face him.

"Dean... he can't tell what's real and what is hallucinations." I said plainly. "He is manifesting this... um, Lucifer figure when he feels under great pressure. His mind is trying to trick him back to well, hell for a lack of a better word." I said with a shrug.

"So what should we do?" Dean asked pushing off the Impala and walking right up to me, looking down into my eyes.

"I'm not sure." I admitted sadly. "It's not like we can really keep Sam out of any stressful situations."

"I know." Dean said and then smirked at me.

"What's funny?" I asked confused.

"When you called me Winchester. You used to do that when you were annoyed at me." Dean admitted with a smile.

"It was a kinda automatic reaction." I said with another shrug. Dean nodded but continued to smile.

* * *

><p>Later that day me, Bobby and Dean were working in the kitchen while Sam cleaned and took apart his gun. Bobby was working on the computer while I scanned a few books looking for anything helpful. Dean walked over and lent over Bobby's chair, watching Sam.<p>

"Well, at least he's not curled up under the sink." Bobby said softly.

"Yeah, no, he's just sitting there silently field-stripping his weapon." Dean sighed walking over to me and going into Sam's jacket that was over the chair I was in. I watched him take Sam's phone out.

"What are you doing?" Bobby asked confused.

"Turning on his GPS, case he decides to fly the cuckoo's nest." Dean sighed putting the phone back.

"Let's hope that doesn't happen." I said softly, catching Dean's eye. He sighed and rubbed my shoulder.

"And you? How are you doing?" Bobby asked Dean.

"Seriously Bobby, it ain't like he's hexed, you know? I mean, what if it's the kind of crazy you can't fix?" Dean asked looking at Bobby. Bobby paused and looked at me with a blank unimpressed look. I just nodded knowingly.

"Yeah, I'm- I'm worried too, but humour me for a second. How are _you_?" Bobby asked getting up and leaning against the sink.

"Who cares? Don't you think our mailbox is a little full right now? I'm fine." Dean said walking over to Bobby. Again me and Bobby traded a look of disbelief.

"Sure you are." I muttered and Dean glared at me. I looked at the book in my hands avoiding his glare.

"Right. And weren't you pissed at him when he said the same thing just a couple hours before he spilled his marbles all over the floor?" Bobby asked folding his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, well." Dean said pouring himself a cup of coffee. "I'm not Sam, okay? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin' box. I'm fine. Really." Dean said standing next to Bobby, he glanced at me and I just shook my head.

"Of course. Yeah. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother's in the bell jar, your wife don't know you from Adam, and Purgatory's most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You're, you're _fine_." Bobby said sarcastically.

"Good." Dean said with a nod and came to sit opposite me. I just shook my head at Dean and he ignored me.

"Course, if at any time you want to decide that's utter horse crap, well I'll be where I always am. Right here." Bobby said making Dean pause and look at me with an unamused look.

"What, you want to do couples' yoga, or you want to get back to hunting the big bads?" Dean asked sarcastically looking at me.

"Shut up. Eijet." Bobby answered and the pair smirked.

* * *

><p>The next morning I walked out of my bedroom and bumped into Dean. Literally, I walked into him because I had my nose in a book while I was walking.<p>

"Oh man, sorry." I said closing the book.

"No its ok. Good book?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Hardly." I sighed and smiled at Dean. "How's Sam doing?"

"He's still stripping his gun." Dean sighed.

"We just need to watch him." I said trying to sound positive.

"Yeah..." Dean sighed and a silence fell on us.

"Are, you doing ok?" I asked hugging the book slightly.

"Like I told Bobby, I'm fine." Dean said putting on a brave face. I stood there and raised an eyebrow. "I am!" Dean said defensively.

"It might act like I was born yesterday, but trust me, I wasn't." I said firmly.

"Look, we've got-" Dean started to argue.

"Shut up." I said grabbing his hand and dragging him back into my room. "Sit on the bed." I ordered him.

"Megan, come on-" Dean started to argue again.

"Shut up and sit down, idiot." I said pointing to the bed again. Dean grumbled and sat on the edge of the bed. I put the book on the side and sat up near the pillows. "You need to move up here." I said patting the space next to me.

"Look-" Dean said and I just glared again. "Fine! Fine!" Dean huffed kicking his shoes off and shuffling up to the top of the bed.

"Right, lay down and close your eyes." I said plainly. Dean grumbled but laid on the bed. "Thank you." I said softly and he peaked an eye open.

"Still think this is stupid." Dean muttered before closing his eye.

"I know," I said and started to run my fingers through his short spiky hair. I wasn't sure if it would help, but I kinda hoped it would. "So what's bothering you?" I asked softly.

"Come on, isn't it obvious?" Dean asked opening his eyes and looking at me.

"Close your eyes and answer me." I said firmly with a smile. Dean rolled his eyes and closed them.

"I... I'm worried about Sam. I'm scared his going to go poco loco on me and do something stupid. I don't know how to help him, but I have to do something. He's my baby brother." Dean sighed as I continued to play with his hair. "He's seeing things and believing it over me. I just.. I don't know how to fight that..."

"Are you just worried about Sam?" I asked softly still running my fingers through his hair. I wasn't sure it was helping Dean, but I felt a little better.

"The leviathans aren't much fun. I mean they killed Cass and took over his body. Now their running free out there and we got no idea what they want." Dean sighed heavy and opened his eyes looking straight at me. "I know they scare the crap out of you too." He added seriously.

"We're not talking about me." I said softly. Dean pushed himself up so that he was leaning on the pillows next to me.

"Maybe we should?" He said watching my face carefully.

"I told you-" I said shaking my head.

"You don't wanna talk about it. I know." Dean said looking in my eyes. I looked into his emerald green eyes and sighed. There was something about them, something I didn't want to fight. They made me feel like I could just spill my guts and somehow things would be better. That he could make things better. I wasn't stupid though, I knew whatever it was that I had been through, it wasn't going to go away that easy.

"Right." I said softly and glanced down. I looked back up and Dean was still watching me, he smiled softly as I looked and I returned the smile. My heart started to race as Dean started to lean closer to me, staring from my lips to my eyes and back again. He got so close that I could feel his breath on my skin, his scent wrapping around me.

"DEAN! MEGAN! We found something!" Bobby shouted from downstairs making the pair of us jump and I blushed a little. Dean let out a small grunt and gave me a sympathetic smile.

* * *

><p>We walked downstairs and found Bobby and Sam in the kitchen. I glanced at the computer and lent against the counter.<p>

"Hey there Gunga Din, buck up." Bobby stated with a sigh.

"So it looks like we got some bad news for a change. Stockville North Kansas, most of a high school swim team got mangled to death in their locker room." Sam explained nodding to the computer.

"Cop talk on the wire's kind of garbled, saying it looks like some kind of wild animal attack. They're saying that whatever attacked them's about the size of a linebacker." Bobby explained as Dean took a look at the report. I gave Bobby a sarcastic smile then wiped a hand over my face sighing.

"It's a lead, Dean." Sam said from the seat near the computer.

"All right, but if you think you're going out on a hunt..." Dean said looking at his baby brother.

"No, I know. I'm not. But you are. Look, Bobby's running the hub, I'm- I'm 5150'd, which leaves you and Megan to follow this thing up." Sam said nodding to me. I pushed away from the counter and walked over to the guys.

"Guys, are we sure it's a good idea?" I asked scared about facing the leviathans again, and worried how Sam would cope.

"Sam, you're in the middle of a psychotic break." Dean said plainly shaking his head.

"It's a couple hours' drive, Dean, and it could be a Leviathan thing." Sam argued.

"Nah, if you think I'm leaving you here alone..." Dean stated and I punched his arm as Bobby spoke. Dean rubbed his arm and looked hurt. I rolled my eyes and sighed again. Dean was such a baby at times.

"Hey. What am I, chopped brains on toast? I can eyeball the kid. Go. Work off some of these nerves on something useful." Bobby stated waving me and Dean away. Dean glanced at Sam and Bobby and shrugged.

"Fine." He sighed turning to me. "Ready for another hunt?"

"Sure..." I sighed feeling my stomach turn a little. I really didn't want to be stuck fighting another leviathan, I wasn't sure if I would freeze up again or not.

* * *

><p>We packed up and got in the Impala. I made sure I had my gun, salt rounds and my knife. I wasn't sure what good any of it would do if I froze up, but having the weapons made me feel a little safer. I felt like a child with a night light. As if the light would keep me safe from all the monsters out there. I checked my gun for the third time when Dean glanced at me.<p>

"You know I'm pretty sure, it's still the same as the last two times." He said with a smile.

"Yeah, just checking." I muttered and put my gun back.

"You really are scared of them aren't you?" Dean asked glancing at me again as he drove.

"Dunno what gave you that idea." I said sarcastically, checking my knife was still there.

"I don't think I've ever seen you scared, not like this." Dean said and I sighed running a hand through my hair.

"I guess having the werewolf made me more confident eh?" I asked glancing at Dean. He shrugged.

"Maybe, or you just trusted your skills more." Dean suggested.

"I haven't really fought anything big before." I admitted watching the road. "I fought a few ghosts and two zombies. Back home, I was more of a nerd. I used to help my dad with the research. It was more Gethin and my dad who really did the fighting."

"Well Sammy used to do all the research too." Dean said trying to make me feel better. "You both are great fighters now though. I've seen you fight bigger badder things and win."

"I.. don't remember." I shrugged and looked at the road again. "This Leviathan thing. When I saw them, it, stood there. When I was face to face with it. I just... I felt like I was back..." I trailed off and wrapped my arms around my body as the familiar cold feeling filled me.

* * *

><p>We changed into our official looking clothes and went to the high school. I couldn't help but notice that Dean actually looked good in a suit. The more time I was spending with him, the more I was seeing more in him. I wouldn't say I was falling for him, not even a long shot, but there defiantly was <em>something<em> about him. Something that made me pay a little extra attention to him. We reached the high school and found the locker room without any hassle. Dean gave me a fake ID and I was surprised as it looked pretty convincing. He told me that we used to use fake ID's all the time. I wasn't that shocked really, it did kind of make sense. We walked into the locker room to find someone taking a few photo's.

"Special Agent Anderson. Ian." Dean said flashing his badge. "And my partner Special Agent Gregory." I nodded to the guy.

"Yeah, okay. Our point cop's out on the doughnut. Forensics" The guy said pointing to himself. "I can show you the layout. And step lightly. We got a whole bunch of NC17 shiznickel right over there." The guy said pointing to a lot of blood-splatter. Dean glanced at me and I shrugged.

"Right." Dean replied to the guy and we walked into the lockers. There was blood everywhere and it was a mess. Dean spotted something and started to walk off. I fallowed him and spotted the same thing as him.

"Is that-" I said poking some black goo with a pen. "Yeah, that's leviathans blood." I sighed looking over at Dean.

"Dammit." Dean sighed shaking his head.

"Least we don't have to worry about wondering when they are going to pop up..." I said softly looking at the goo on my pen.

* * *

><p>We got changed back into our normal clothes and headed back to the house. Dean drove as I called Sam, putting him on speaker. We needed to let the guys know that the Leviathans were closer to them than we thought.<p>

"You know this is going to stress him out more, right?" I asked as the phone rang.

"I know." Dean sighed glancing at me.

"_Yeah_." Sam answered.

"Well we are positive for ick. Same kind of stuff that came out of Cass" Dean said plainly.

"And,two of the swim kids were missing. Looks like they stole one of their parents' cars." I added sighing.

"_So you think these, um, these Leviathan things just jump into people? Like Eve did?_" Sam asked and I glanced at Dean confused.

"I don't know, it makes sense, right? Anyway, uh, state trooper's got surveillance cam on the kids about six hours old, of them gassing up just south of Dakota line, so we're headed back your way, we'll just track them from Bobby's." Dean stated ignoring my questioning look.

"_Yeah, sounds good._" Sam replied softly.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Dean asked softly.

"_You know, uh, okay_." Sam said but he didn't sound convincing to me.

"Okay. Well hang in there, all right?" Dean replied.

"We wont be long Sam." I said and we hung up. I turned to Dean and gave him a questioning look again. "Who's Eve?" I asked softly. I watched as Dean's grip on the steering wheel tightened.

"I don't think now's really the time to get into it Megan." Dean said watching the road.

"Well... um when will be the time Dean?" I asked softly and caught the look in his eyes. He was annoyed, angry.

"Not now ok. There is a lot that you just don't know about the past five years." Dean said watching the road. "I'm gonna be honest, the majority is crap. And, and, I just... let's finish the case and I'll catch you up with everything."

"I didn't mean..." I said softly.

"I know." Dean sighed. "Just, I can't help thinking, your better off not knowing what happened."

"Maybe, but I am. But I need to know." I said glancing at Dean. Dean turned to me and nodded slowly. I don't know if he understood but I needed to know. I had to know the person I had become in those five years. I knew for a fact I wasn't the same person I thought I was. I knew I had changed from the nerd, but I had no clue as to what I was any more.

* * *

><p>We pulled up to Bobby's late at night. Dean parked the car as I climbed out and stretched. Dean climbed out and smiled at me.<p>

"Old habits..." Dean smirked at me.

"I guess." I said rolling my eyes as we walked up to the house. Dean walked in first and I fallowed him. There was no noise anywhere in the house and I was a little confused.

"Sam? Sammy?" Dean yelled walking into the kitchen. I walked into the den where Sam had been cleaning his gun for hours in silence.

"Hey Sam?" I asked looking around and not finding a trace of him. "Damn it." I muttered.

"Sam? Sam! Oh, crap." Dean said from the bottom of the stairs as we realised Sam wasn't home. Dean rushed into the den and looked panicked.

"I don't mean to add to the _oh crap_, but his guns gone..." I said pointing to the desk.

"We need to find him fast!" Dean said grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the house.

"Didn't you turn on the GPS on his phone?" I asked as we climbed into the Impala.

"Yeah... do you know how to bring it up on a phone?" Dean asked tossing me his phone.

"I can work it out..." I said pressing a few keys.

* * *

><p>We fallowed the GPS location to a warehouse that looked pretty run down. As we pulled up I noticed a midnight blue Camero parked outside near the door. As I took a closer look it had the same licence plate as the one I just bought when I started uni. I walked over to the Camero and looked at it.<p>

"Oh, this can't be good." Dean said glancing at the building and then me.

"Is this my car?" I asked pointing to the car. Of course, my car was rusty, red and needed a lot of work. This car looked like someone had put a lot of love into it.

"Yeah. But we've kind of gotta a bigger issue here..." Dean said looking to the building.

"Yeah of course... but damn, baby, you're looking good." I said stroking the side of the car as we walked to the buildings door. Dean watched me and smirked as I looked at him confused.

"You are really hot." Dean joked as I started to blush. I went to walk in when Dean grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "He's got a gun and well we don't know what he's going to be like." Dean said plainly.

"I'm not going to shoot your brother if that's what your worried about." I said looking Dean in the eye.

"He might shoot you." Dean said plainly.

"Good point. Baby steps then?" I asked with a small smile.

"Baby steps." Dean nodded and opened the door. We looked around and sure enough Sam was stood in the middle of the place with his gun. It looked like he was talking to Harvey again.

"Sam? Sam!" Dean said getting Sam's attention. He glanced at Sam and then back to us. "Sam, what are you doing?" Dean asked glancing around. Sam pointed his gun to Dean and I went for mine when Dean waved to me, not to. Dean put his hands up. "Whoa, whoa!" Dean said glancing at me to stand still.

"I was with you, Dean!" Sam said waving the gun at Dean.

"Okay. Well, here I am." Dean said softly.

"No. No, I don't, I..." Sam said looking to the left and then back to us. "I can't know that for sure. You understand me?" Sam pleaded looking from me to Dean with tears in his eyes. He was really breaking down.

"Okay Sam. Ok." I said softly, making sure I never took my eyes off him. He had a gun aimed at Dean and I wasn't going to let him shoot Dean.

"Okay, now we're gonna have to start small." Dean said softly.

"I don't remember driving here." Sam said panicked. He looked to his left again and shook his head before shooting at nothing. Both me and Dean jumped slightly, scared by Sam's behaviour.

"Whoa, whoa! Sam! This discussion does not require a weapons discharge!" Dean yelled at Sam. Sam started to breath heavily and he lowered his gun a little. "Look at me. Come on. You don't know what's real? Look man, I've been to Hell. Okay, I know a thing or two about torture. Enough to know that it feels different. Than the pain of this, this regular, stupid, crappy this." Dean said slowly easing his way over to his baby brother.

"No, no, how can you know that for sure?" Sam asked shaking his head.

"Let me see your hand." Dean asked reaching out to Sam's hand. Sam lifted his right hand and Dean shook his head. "No, no. The, the gimp hand! Let me see it." Sam seemed to look at his left again and Dean grabbed the bandaged hand and squeezing it. "Hey. This is real. Not a year ago, not in Hell, now." Dean said shaking Sam's hand a little. "I was with you when you cut it, I sewed it up! Look!" Dean squeezed a little more and took the barrel of Sam's gun with his spare hand. Sam seemed to look at something at Dean's side. Sam took a sharp breath and winced at the pain. "This is different. Right? Then the crap that's tearing at your walnut? I'm different. Right?" Dean pleaded with Sam. Sam took his hand back and Dean kept hold of the gun. He passed it to me and I quickly took the clip out and slipped the safety back on.

"Yeah, I think so." Sam said watching us. Sam then looked to the side of Dean.

"Sam? Sam." Dean said softly. I watched as Sam pushed on the cut enough to make it bleed. "Hey. I am your flesh-and-blood brother, okay? I'm the only one who can legitimately kick your ass in real time. You got away. We got you out, Sammy." Dean said pleading with his baby brother. Sam pushed harder on his cut, making it bleed more. "Believe in that! Believe me, okay? You gotta believe me. You gotta make it stone number one and build on it. You understand?" Dean asked looking Sam dead in the eyes. Sam turned his attention back to Dean.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay." Sam said nodding. Dean took a deep sigh and glanced back to him. I just nodded softly as Sam's phone rang.

"Bobby, hey." Sam said glancing at us.

"_The Sheriff was right. The hospital thing's definitely our kind of thing. I double-barrelled one of them in the morgue. Silver buckshot - no effect. Bled black ooze._" Bobby said over the phone.

"Leviathan here?" Sam asked as his eyes widened and he looked at us. The knot in my stomach turned and I repressed a shiver.

"_I'm falling back. I'll meet you at the house. We can regroup._" Bobby said and hung up. Sam hung up and looked at us.  
>"Bobby's got a live one." Sam said looking at us.<p>

"Awesome." I said sarcastically.

"Okay, well let's go." Dean said and Sam nodded as we all walked out of the building.

* * *

><p>We got out to the cars and I paused by my Camero. She really did look good, even if I did say so myself. I smirked at her and turned to Sam.<p>

"Sam?" I asked softly, tilting my head to one side.

"Yeah?" He answered turning to me.

"You got my keys?" I asked plainly, an innocently sweet smile on my lips.

"Keys, um... I.." Sam started to check his pockets.

"You're gonna drive that pile of rust home?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Yeah I am." I said folding my arms over my chest, losing my smile.

"Well there's no way she'll keep up with my baby." Dean joked shaking his head.

"I think you'll have trouble keeping up with my baby." I said teasing Dean a little. He paused and grinned at me, one that made his whole face light up.

"Oh, your a funny lady!" Dean joked as Sam pulled some keys from his pocket.

"Here." Sam said throwing me the keys. I caught them and smiled.

"Thanks Sam." I said and then lost my smile. "You drive my car without asking again and you know I'll kick your jolly green giant arse, right?" I said plainly.

"Right." Sam said nervously. I smirked and shook my head.

"Good luck getting that thing out of the parking lot!" Dean teased heading to his Impala.

"How about we race then?" I yelled unlocking my car door.

"Fine! First to Bobby's wins!" Dean yelled back.

"Your on Winchester!" I smirked and climbed into my baby. It was nice to be behind the wheel of my own car. Behind the wheel of something I actually remembered. I mean sure she had some work done, but she was still my baby under all that work and that's what really counts. I started the engine and let her purr for a few seconds before revving her up and shooting out of the parking lot in front of the Impala. The drive to Bobby's was great. I really felt like I had gotten something of myself back. Driving the car, she was exactly how I remembered, the brakes, the accelerator, even the smell. Having something so familiar, it kinda gave me hope you know? It made me think, if I could remember the car, maybe I would start to remember the guys and the last five years more. Dean would edge in front of me and drop back as we raced. The roads were empty and it was nice to just enjoy the ride. We turned the corner to reach Bobby's and my car was in front of Deans. My heart jumped into my throat as I slowed at the site in front of me. Bobby's house was burnt to the ground. There was just a smouldering wreck left.

"Oh god Bobby..." I said in shock as I drove up the drive. "Please... don't be in the building. Please. Please please please." I muttered softly to myself.

* * *

><p>I pulled my Camero up onto the drive as Dean pulled up his Impala. We climbed out of the cars in total shock. I couldn't believe it. I glanced at Dean and Sam and they were watching the house in total shock.<p>

"Oh no." Dean said softly walking closer to the house.

"Did he say he how far from home he was?" I asked as we reached the front of the house.

"No." Sam said softly, none of us could tear our eyes off the burnt building. Bobby was meant to be in there. Bobby. He was my only link to who I was and who I had become. I couldn't wrap my mind around loosing him.

"Please don't be home. Please don't be home, please don't be home." I muttered softly to myself as I fallowed Dean into the remains of the house.

"Be careful, it's still hot. I'm gonna try and look upstairs." Dean said glancing at me before walking away. I wondered into where the kitchen should have been and there was nothing. It was burnt to a crisp.

"Please no, no no no." I said carefully lifting ash covered things, to see it there was any sign of Bobby. I continued to look around the house when Dean walked over to me. I turned to him and saw the worry in his eyes. "He can't be in here." I said firmly shaking my head. "He just can't."

"Megan." Dean said walking over to me.

"He can't Dean. He can't ok!" I said getting a little hysterical about it all. Dean wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. I rested my head on his shoulder and pulled Dean a little closer to me.

"Shh, come on." Dean said holding me close. "We haven't found anything that said Bobby was here. So don't start thinking like that ok?" He asked pulling away so that he could look into my eyes.

"If he's gone... Dean... He's all I have left." I said fighting the tears. Sure I'm going to blame it on the smoke, nothing to do with losing Bobby. Of course not...

"We don't know yet." Dean said pulling me closer again and kissing my hair. "We just don't know yet ok..."

* * *

><p>We walked out of the house as Sam jogged over to us. He looked at us reflecting the same emotions we had. Sure Bobby meant a hell of a lot to me. But to the guys, it was easy to see the old grump meant just as much, maybe even more.<br>"Any sign of him?" Sam asked plainly. Dean held up a blackened journal and tossed it back behind him as we walked towards where the workshop should have been.

"That place was torched. Somebody knew what they were doing." Dean said looking from me, to Sam and then a head.

"You think Bobby was back there?" Sam asked and my head shot to him. He gave me a sad smile but I couldn't take it. I looked to the ground and said a silent pray.

"I don't know." Dean admitted as we reached the junk yard. Dean waved to the right and Sam took off in search of Bobby.

"What do you really think?" I asked grabbing Dean's jacket and turning him to me.

"Meg, he... if he was in there. The way it was burnt..." Dean looked down. "We don't know anything until we find his car, or a body. So let's keep looking, ok?"

"Ok Dean." I said sadly and walked by his side as he grabbed his phone.

"Hey, check over there." Dean said pointing to his left.

"Sure..." I said walking off. As I walked a little away I herd Dean talking down his phone.  
>"You cannot be in that crater back there. I can't... If you're gone, I swear, I am going to strap my Beautiful Mind brother into the car, grab my Long Kiss Goodnight wife and I'm gonna drive all three of us off the pier. You asked me how I was doing? Well not good! Now you said you'd be here. Where are you?" Dean said into his phone.<p>

"Bobby!" I herd Sam yell.

"Bobby!" I yelled looking for him too.

"Bobby!" I herd Dean yell.

* * *

><p>We all continued to shout for Bobby moving in and out of the junk yard cars. I squeezed past a small gap in the cars because I thought I spotted Bobby's trucker hat. The hat that never seemed to leave his damn head.<p>

"Bobby?" I asked squeezing through. My jacket got caught on some of the metal that was twisted out of shape. "Damn it!" I growled and took my jacket off, leaving it to hang on the twisted metal. I managed to squeeze through the gap and made my way to the hat. As I got closer I realised, although it was Bobby's hat, no one was attached to it. I bent down and picked it up, looking at it. "Where are you old man?" I asked hugging the hat a little.

"Megan." A male voice said from behind me. I stood up, turning around to see who called my name. A tall man stood there, just watching me. He was in his late thirties with dark hair and eyes and tanned skin. I didn't recognise him, then again, if he was a friend of Bobby's how did I know. He could have been another hunting friend.

"Yes?" I asked standing still as I tried to figure him out. "You a friend of Bobby's?" I asked as the man started to walk towards me.

"I'm not." He said.

"Then... how do you know me?" I asked realising that I was encircled by high piles of scrap cars. As I glanced, I realised it was a trap and I had just walked straight into it. "Craptastic!" I said also realising my phone was in my jacket with my gun. All I had was a knife.

"Megan, I wonder, do you remember me?" The man asked standing straight in front me of.

"Can't say I remember a lot these days." I half joked as my mind raced to figure out a plan to get me away from the dude.

"You were fighting off the skin walkers and the vampires. You were so lost. The only human soul in Purgatory." He laughed and my blood ran cold, remembering what he said as if it happened yesterday. "Then I found you. I brought you back to the rest."

"Leviathan." I hissed feeling my heart beat out of my chest. I was trapped in a very small space with a leviathan. I had two options; scream or fight. Neither looked that promising.

"That's right." He said reaching out and grabbing me by the throat. "Now come with me." He smirked.

* * *

><p>He dragged me to the middle of a path in the junk yard. His hand still wrapped around my throat as he stood us there. I grasped at his hand in vein, he was stronger than anything my father had ever prepared me for. My fingers scratched at his skin and I knew it didn't hurt him. I bet it didn't even tickle him. He held me with just enough pressure to make it hurt, but not enough to make me fall unconscious. He wanted me awake. But I really didn't know why. Suddenly I herd Sam's voice.<p>

"Bobby? Bobby!" Sam's yells were close.

"No!" I tried to scream out, desperately clawing at the Leviathan to no effect. Sam walked around the corner and his eyes widened as he saw me stood there being held by my throat.

"Winchester. Congratulations. Apparently you two are competent enough to warrant annihilating. I'd take it as a compliment." The Leviathan grinned lifting me off the floor a little. My toes scraped the floor as I started to gasp for air.

Suddenly someone, Dean, shot the leviathan in the head. But he still didn't let go of me. He stood up straight and I noticed the black ooze coming from his head. He looked at Dean and shook his head a little then changed. His mouth seemed to rip in half, as large jagged teeth appeared in his mouth. His tongue grew longer and split into two as it unwound and seemed to test the air. My heart stopped. It had become everything from my nightmares. It was the thing that was haunting me. Just below the surface, the memory of those things and what it did to me, chilled me to the bone. Seconds later it's face returned to normal and I was thrown far towards the junk cars by Sam. I felt something all too sharp pierce my left shoulder and I let out a yelp. I looked down and a piece of metal was sticking out of my shoulder, blood running down my t-shirt.

I looked up to see the leviathan, grab the gun from Dean before grabbing him and throwing him over towards me. He crashed to the floor with an bone crunching thud and I saw bone sticking out of his leg. At the same time, Sam rushed towards the leviathan and punched it, hurting his hand more then it. But it did knock him back a little, under a car that was on a crane above him. Sam turned to Dean, who had already grabbed the controls.

"Dean, now!" Sam yelled and Dean released the car.

"Look out!" I screamed to Sam as the leviathan got back onto his feet. Sam turned back to see the leviathan hit him in the face with a metal bar, seconds before the car landed on the leviathan. Sam fell backwards on the ground and I could see a nasty cut on his temple. Black goo started to pour out from under the car and I sighed, hopeful that we had killed the thing.

"Hey, Megan, are you ok?" Dean asked dragging himself closer to me and Sam.

"This sharp bit of metal in my shoulder, it kinda hurts a little." I said closing my eyes and trying to pull myself off it. I moved a little and let out an almighty scream.

"You ok?" Dean asked as I opened my eyes and saw he had reached Sam's side.

"Not really." I said letting out a sharp breath. I smashed my head back against the rusted cars and growled a little.

"I don't think you should move." Dean said watching me.

"Agreed." I said loosing the feeling in my left hand. "How's Sam?"  
>"Sam." Dean said grabbing hold of Sam's shirt and shaking it a little. "Sammy? Hey, come on now. Come on, I'm the one with the broken leg, you got to carry me. Sam!"<p>

"It looks like a nasty cut." I said trying to focus on anything but my pain. Sam laid there as Dean groaned and pulled out his phone.

"This is not going to end well." Dean sighed looking over to me.

* * *

><p>Dean had called an ambulance. The crew had put Dean and Sam on stretchers and I was left sitting by Dean's feet, holding a massive woad of bandages over the cut in my shoulder. The metal still sticking out of it. The paramedic was checking on Sam.<p>

"Sam, stay with me, you hear?" Dean said looking at Sam, terrified at what was happening to his baby brother.

"Male, late twenties, head trauma. Signs of increasing intra cranial pressure." The paramedic said into his radio. Suddenly Sam started to fit badly.  
>"Sam?" "Sammy?" Both me and Dean said at the same time. Dean looked over to me with such fear in his eyes.<br>"Yeah, he's seizing. Copy that. We're just pulling into Sioux Falls." The paramedic said holding Sam down.

"Sioux Falls? Sioux Falls General? No, no, no. No, you gotta take us somewhere else, anywhere. Please." Dean asked shaking his head.

"Please, we can't go there." I added and the paramedic really didn't look impressed with either of us.

"Yeah, okay, buddy." The paramedic replied ignoring us. Dean growled, knocking his head back against the pillow in distress.

* * *

><p>So, what did you all think? Please, review and let me know? Just takes a few seconds and it helps a million! Thanks for reading!<p> 


	3. Lie To Me

Hey everyone! So sorry it took me so damn long to update, not to mention how short this one is. I had a few things go crazy in my life. I really hurt my fingers bad and had them taped up for a week or so. Then the original idea I had for this chapter went away and never came back. Then a fought with a few different things until I made this one. It's the best one I liek so I ran with it. I kinda lost my love for the season after the second ep and I couldn't get it back until the last ep (The one with BAMF Dean and Sam). Thankfully it's restored my hope in the season, and so my love of writting it! I wanted to fill in the three weeks the guys spend healing up, so this is my attempt at explaining what they all do!  
>Big shout out to; Asya55, Sam and Dean crazy ass wench, , Klandgraf2007 and 1112luvSPNxxx for the reviews and everyone else who alerted it!<br>Disclaimer in Chapter one!

* * *

><p>We were rushed to Sioux Falls no matter how much me and Dean pleaded with the paramedic. In the end, he gave Dean some extra painkillers to knock him out and threatened me with the same. We pulled up to the hospital and we were all unloaded.<p>

"What's going on? Where are you taking them?" I asked as a nurse put me in a wheel chair, while they pulled Sam's stretcher in one direction and Dean's in another. Taking them both away. My heart jumping into my throat as I watched the pair disappear behind white walls.

"Relax, we're just taking you all to different trauma rooms to get check out." The nurse said wheeling me far away from the others. A knot in my stomach grew as I knew Leviathans were every where in the hospital. Bobby had faced them in the hospital, and I knew with my luck, they'd find us.

"Please, I don't wanna get checked out. I just want to get my friends and get out of here. Please." I pleaded as we entered a trauma room.

"I'm sorry, but one of your friends is unconscious and the other has a nasty break in his leg. I doubt either of them will be going anywhere soon." The nurse replied as she pulled the wheelchair up to a bed. She helped me up onto the bed as a doctor walked in with a clip board.

"I don't want to be seen. I want to leave." I said firmly as the doctor put down the clip board and looked at me. He was an older man, with wire glasses and white hair.

"Now Miss, just let me take a look-" The doctor said reaching to my shoulder.

"No!" I snapped pulling my shoulder away slightly. "I want to leave!" I said trying to get off the bed but the doctor pushed me back on.

"Miss, really. You need to relax and let me look at the shoulder or I'm going to have to sedate you." The doctor said looking me dead in the eyes. I thought about it for a second. _If they knock me out too, we'll be sitting ducks... damn it. I need to stay awake. But I need to get out of here. Get the guys out and try and find Bobby, if he is even alive... _

"Fine. Promise you wont knock me out." I said still holding my shoulder back.

"Ok, now please, let me take a look." The doctor said softly. I nodded and sat forward a little so he could see the metal sticking out of my shoulder. The nurse cut away my bloody t-shirt and started to clean up the blood. "Well this is a nasty cut. The metal, appears to have gone through."

"Can we hurry this along a little?" I asked impatiently. The doctor rose his eye brow at me and I sighed. "I hate hospitals." I added trying to make it seem like I was a nervous patient. Which I guess I was, except I was more nervous about what was in the hospital with me.

"Now, this piece of metal, must be, what would you say nurse?" The doctor asked looking at the bloody mess that was my shoulder.

"15?" The nurse guessed having a good look.

"We need surgery. You're going to have to have it surgically removed before we can do much more with it." The doctor said looking at me.

"Surgery?" I asked panicked. Surgery meant being knocked out, leaving us to the hands of the damn leviathans.

"Yes." The doctor said pulling off his gloves.

"No." I said shaking my head.

"It's the only way to remove the metal." The doctor insisted picking up his clip board. "Nurse call the OR and see if there is any free."

"No." I said again.

"Yes doctor." The nurse said walking over to the phone. Totally ignoring my objections.

"Miss it's nothing to worry about. The surgery is safe." The doctor said without looking up from his clip board. "It's the only way to remove the metal, and it shouldn't take any longer than an hour." I started to panic. Any time unconscious was bad time. Any time I didn't have my wits about me, was time the Leviathans could come and kill me, Sam, or Dean. I needed to be awake to protect them. Protect myself. My mind raced with options I had to get out of surgery. I got an idea, but it wasn't exactly one I liked. It was however, the best one I had.

"Not the only way." I said and took a deep breath. I wrapped my fingers around the metal that stuck out from the front of my shoulder and pulled hard on it. I let out a loud scream and the nurse dropped the phone and rushed over. The doctor dropped the clip board and grabbed a handful of padding and held it to both sides of my shoulder. I dropped the metal to the floor and felt sick with the pain. The world was spinning a little and I had to close my eyes so I didn't throw up on the doc. Now I admit, it wasn't the best plan I ever had, but it was the only one I had. So I ran with it, like a moron because the pain was fighting to take my consciousness.

"Damn it!" The doctor grunted as the nurse took over the doctor holding the blood soaked padding on my cuts.

"Told you it wasn't the only way." I said dryly, opening my eyes. The nurse looked drip white and I didn't exactly feel too sparky about it all, but at least I wasn't going into surgery.

"That was completely reckless, Miss. You could have caught a main artery or vein. You could have bled out." The doctor growled at me, grabbing some things to stitch me up with.

"Just, stitch me up doc. I really don't wanna stay here any longer." I said dryly, forcing back the bile in my throat. The doctor spent a good hour stitching me up. He continued to scold me for my reckless actions and the nurse gave me some pain killers to try and easy the world spinning. I refused to let them give me anything. too strong, just in case.

"Son of a bitch." I muttered as the doctor pulled on the final stitch on my shoulder blade.

"You insisted on doing this the hard way." The doctor said giving my stitch and extra tug.

"I know." I hissed as I felt him wipe down my stitches.

"You intend to discharge yourself as soon as I'm done here?" He asked messing with my shoulder a little more.

"Was the plan. I want to find my friends and make sure that they are ok." I explained as the nurse put something into my drip. I wasn't really paying attention to her.

"Very well." The doctor replied as everything started to get a little blurry.

"What did you... do..." I asked as everything slowly turned black.

* * *

><p>Someone was shaking me, hard. I woke with a start and went to punch them when I saw Bobby stood over me.<p>

"Hey kid, come on, let's go!" He said as I blinked a few times and groaned.

"Did I die too?" I asked trying to sit up and look around. I found I was tied to the bed. "What's happening?" I asked groggy from the meds. "Why am I tied to the bed?"

"The doc requested you see a psychiatrist, something about pulling a large metal shard from your shoulder without any painkillers?" Bobby asked releasing me from the bed. He frowned at me a little.

"Yeah, well, I didn't want any surgery." I muttered sitting up and realising I was in a hospital gown, with my left arm in a sling.

"I can see." Bobby chuckled walking over to the side and grabbing my jeans. "Um, they threw away your top, and I found your jacket."

"You're alive." I stated taking the clothes from Bobby.

"Yes and so are you." He said like I was an idiot. "Now come on, get dressed. We need to find those eijets and get out of here."

"I'm glad your alive Bobby. I like you." I said with a small smile as I turned my attention to the clothes. I frowned and looked back up at him. "Where's my t-shirt?"

"Just get dressed and hurry." Bobby sighed turning his back on me. I got dressed and wobbled onto my feet, by the time I pulled my boots on my mind had cleared.

"How you find us?" I asked carefully putting my arm threw my jacket.

"By chance. Saw the house and figured you were here." Bobby said helping me with the sling.

"I tried to stay with the boys, but the wouldn't let me." I said sadly turning to face Bobby.

"I know girl. That's why you ended up in the psych ward. The doc was worried about you." Bobby said plainly. "Got them to discharge you into my care. I got painkillers and a letter to refer you to professional help." Bobby said holding up the letter.

"Awesome, well, as much fun as staying round here sounds... let's go huh?" I asked taking the letter and throwing it in the bin. Bobby chuckled and opened the door for me.

* * *

><p>"Any idea where the two eijets will be?" Bobby asked as we walked down the corridor.<p>

"I think I saw them take Dean into a room..." I said leading the way.

"Sure it's this one?" Bobby asked as we glanced around. The corridor was empty, but we needed to make sure.

"Yeah." I said softly as we herd a thud. We walked in and on the floor was Dean. He had a pot on his right leg, and was wearing the hospital gown.

"You okay?" Bobby asked as I closed the door.

"Bobby, you're alive." Dean said sounding kinda out of it too.

"Course I am. Why are you on the floor?" Bobby asked as I smirked at Dean.

"They gave me morphine. A lot." Dean said as we both helped him back onto the bed. "Hey, look, a monster broke my leg Meg. Hey that rhymes. A monster broke my leg Meg. A monster broke my leg Meg." Dean sang to himself.

"Yeah Dean. They gave you _a lot_ of painkillers huh?" I asked smiling at him. He nodded and then frowned.

"Oh. Wait...the house. We thought you were dead." Dean said looking at Bobby sadly.

"Well, I ain't. Not yet. But we got to run. This place ain't safe. Where's Sam?" Bobby asked passing Dean his clothes.

"Uh... Head scan, I think." Dean replied.

"Meet me at the ambulance dock, stat. I'll find Sam." Bobby said looking from me to Dean.

"Wait, where? Bobby, I'm a gimp." Dean pouted. Bobby looked around the room and passed Dean some crutches.  
>"Hey." Bobby smirked patting Dean's cheek and smiling at him. "Don't be long." Bobby said looking at me before rushing out of the door.<p>

"Come on Dean, you need to get dressed dude." I said softly.

"Oh ok." Dean said and I turned around. "How am I going to put my jeans over the pot?"

"Figure it out dude." I smirked shaking my head a little. I herd another thud and turned to see Dean on the floor again, his jeans on, but no top. I had to bit my lip, because damn that man had a nice body. "What are you doing on the floor again?" I sighed softly.

"Getting dressed." Dean replied with a school boy grin. I rolled my eyes and held out my right hand.

"Come on, up you get." I sighed as I helped Dean up.

"Hey, Megan, what happened to your arm?" Dean asked clueless. I rolled my eyes and sighed heavy.

"Let's get out of here and I'll tell you ok?" I asked softly.

"Oh, ok." Dean shrugged and finished getting dressed. I helped Dean onto the crutches and we headed out of his room. We wondered lost down a few corridors until we found a sign that said, ambulance dock. We managed to find the dock doors and pushed threw them.

"Where are they?" I asked looking around the lot.

"There." Dean pointed to an ambulance and we rushed over. "Get in first!" Dean said opening the door for me.

"Look out!" I said pointing to the dock doors where a surgeon and a nurse burst through the doors looking around for us. I climbed in and pulled Dean into the ambulance as Bobby noticed us.

"Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!" Both me and Dean said as Bobby started the ambulance up.

* * *

><p>Bobby drove us to a guy called Rufus's cabin out in the woods in the middle of no where. Bobby said that it would be next to impossible for the leviathans to track us there. I hoped he was right. We set Sam up in one room to sleep it off. As far as any of us could tell he was doing ok. Dean was pouting and complaining like a three year old, so we knew he was ok.<p>

"It itches!" Dean said picking at his cast with a pen knife.

"Hey!" I said grabbing the knife off him. "Where did you get this?" I asked holding the knife out of Dean's reach.

"That's mine! Give it back Megan!" Dean said grasping at my arm to get the knife back.

"Dude no! You'll rip a hole in your cast!" I said going on my tip toes so that he couldn't reach the knife. Dean sighed sitting back onto the couch and pouted, folding his arms over his chest. He looked like a three year old, and I had to bite my cheek so I didn't laugh.

"That was the idea..." He muttered to himself as I rolled my eyes at him.

"You know, your not cute when you pout." I sighed walking over to the table and putting the knife on it.

"I'm adorable when I pout." Dean replied with a smirk. I fought another smile.

"Sure... because nothing says sexy like a grown man acting like a three year old." I teased as I walked back over to Dean. He stuck his tongue out at me and I chuckled. "Yeah, really sexy."

"You know what is sexy?" Dean asked as I sat in the chair next to him.

"Yeah... Bam Margera, Ryan Reynolds, Matt Tuck, that Alec guy out of Dark Angel and Michael Weatherley, he was REALLY hot in Dark Angel..." I said day dreaming a little in the chair.

"I never watched that rubbish, but I hear Alec was way hotter." Dean said dryly.

"Sure..." I said shaking my head at him a little.

"And I said what, not who Megan." Dean said dryly and I smirked at him shrugging my shoulders.

"Eh, close enough." I joked. Dean rolled his eyes and sat up a little on the couch.

"So you know what is sexy?" He asked again, a glint in his eyes.

"No Dean, please, do tell me, what is sexy?" I asked sarcastically as Bobby walked into the house with some shopping.

"Having you as my nurse, with sponge baths." Dean said with a wink. I groan and rolled my eyes standing up.

"Only in your dreams Winchester." I replied before helping Bobby unload the shopping.

"Every night!" Dean joked as I reached Bobby with an amused look on my face.

"Does he ever quit?" I asked taking some food out of the bags.

"That boy don't know the meaning of the word." Bobby laughed shaking his head.

* * *

><p>A couple of days later night Sam had called it a night and Bobby was yawning his head off. Both me and Dean were sat watching the TV. Bobby was sat in the spare chair and I was sat at the end of the couch with Dean's cast leg, resting on my lap. I noticed Bobby yawn for the third time in five minutes.<p>

"Dude, why don't you hit the hay?" I asked with a soft smile.

"There's only two beds." Bobby admitted yawning again.

"So, take it." I said plainly.

"What about you?" Dean asked confused.

"I'll sleep in the chair, probably better that way, I wont roll onto my shoulder." I said plainly.

"Are, are," Bobby yawned again. "Sure girl?" He asked.

"Yeah, come on Bobby. Go get some rest." I said softly with a small smile. Bobby nodded getting up and stretching slightly.

"Ok, well night folks." Bobby said and wondered into the second bedroom. Me and Dean sat in silence watching the TV. We were just watching any random crap that came on. If I was honest I was trying to avoid sleeping. I really didn't fancy having yet another nightmare.

"So what do you wanna watch now?" Dean asked flicking through the channels. "We have... telly shopping, telly shopping, telly shopping, an hour free on Busty Asian Beauties, telly shopping, something called Rabbit... the God channel and more telly shopping." Dean paused and looked at me. "Personally, I'm voting for Busty Asian Beauties."

"No way Dean." I said laughing.

"Could be fun, you never know, you might like it." Dean said with a wink.

"I thought I married you?" I asked confused.

"You did... why?" Dean answered just as confused.

"Well, your not busty and your not an Asian beauty, so I doubt that channel will be interesting to watch." I said with a smirk. Dean rolled his eyes and smiled back at me. He wiggled a little and turned the TV off.

"You wanna tell me the real reason you're not in bed?" He asked softly turning to me.

"No reason." I said with a shrug, avoiding looking him in the eye.

"Meg, come on, I've known you five years. I know when something is wrong, and I know when your lying." Dean said softly.

"Dean, come on... do we have to do this now?" I asked softly.

"I'm worried about you ok?" Dean said plainly, his eyes glued on me.

"Well don't I'm fine." I said folding my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, because you look it." Dean sighed, he had a look in his eyes. A look that said he wanted to say more then he was.

"What's that meant to mean?" I asked getting a little annoyed with Dean.

"Did you freeze again when the leviathan grabbed you back at Bobby's?" Dean asked with an accusing tone.

"No Dean I didn't." I huffed moving his leg and letting it drop back onto the couch as I moved to the chair.

"Ow! Megan, come on I-" Dean started to say, holding his leg.

"You know what Dean? I am sick of it! Sick of being treated like the poor relation. Yes I froze when we saw the damn things in Castiel! Yes I know I shouldn't have! And yes, for the love of all that is good, yes they scare the living crap out of me Dean. But no! No I did not freeze again back at Bobby's. I was pinned and I had no options. I fell for a trap... because god help me... I thought... I thought Bobby might have been in trouble and needed my help!" I said pacing back and forth in front of the couch. Dean grabbed my wrist and I looked over at him.

"I'm sorry." Dean said looking me dead in the eyes.

"I'm tired and the meds are making me cranky. Maybe we should just get some sleep." I sighed, feeling like I over reacted to Dean.

"Yeah, ok..." Dean said letting go of my arm. "You going to be ok in the chair?" He asked as I grabbed a sheet and pulled it over Dean.

"I will." I said grabbed a sheet for me. I walked over to the chair and curled up, pulling the sheet over me. "Night Dean."

"Night Megan." Dean replied with a sigh and turned out the light. Of course I fought off sleeping as much as I could. I could hear Dean snoring softly and I smirked. But I still fought off the sleep as much as I could.

* * *

><p>"<em>We found you." The voices said together. A thousand voices all speaking together. "We like you."<em>

"_Well great! If you like me so much, why not let me go?" I asked tugging on the chains above my head. I had to get away. I needed to get out. I knew what was going to happen. And I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it._

"_Humans. We don't get humans round here." One of them said as their tongue rolled across my mid drift. I shuddered and closed my eyes. "But you weren't always human. I guess that's why your here really."_

"_I am human." I said firmly, opening my eyes and meeting theirs. I refused to let them know just how scared I was. I wouldn't let them have that power over me._

"_How many did you kill?" The voices asked. I bit back the guilt as the image of a small boy flashed into my mind._

"_None." I said threw grit teeth._

"_It's rude to lie." They hissed. "We know you killed. You killed so many of those humans. We know you like it."_

"_Shut up!" I growled thrashing around a little against my chains. "I'm Human! I'm HUMAN!" I screamed._

"_The only human in the whole world." They said again and that when they started. A pin prick at first. A small sharp feeling._

"_Lucky me?" I joked as I felt it. My skin, just a thin layer, being pealed back from my legs. I closed my eyes and took a slow deep breath. "I gotta admit these spar treatments your offering aren't that great. In fact I want my money back, no way do I look ten years younger." I joked as I saw the layer of flesh rip off at my toes._

"_Your humour can't save you this time." The voices said again as my surrounds started to get dark. I knew what they were doing. There were surrounding me. They were getting ready to feast. My heart raced in my throat as the last of the last disappeared._

"_I dunno, I think a little comic relief is just what's missing round here." I stated with a smirk._

"_The brave little human. The stupid little human." The voices said as the next layer of skin was pealed off me. As each layer was taken away, the pain grew,and the more I wanted scream. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. They continued to rip my skin off till there was nothing but muscle and bones left. "Not so brave now." The voices said as they sank their teeth into me. I screamed. I couldn't help it, the pain, it was unlike anything. I screamed and cried out for the one man who could save me. The one man I would do anything to see again._

"_DEAN! DEAN! DDEEEAANNNN!" I screamed my lungs out. I needed him. I needed him to save me. "DEAN!"_

* * *

><p>"Dean. Dean! DEAN!" I screamed shooting bolt up in the chair. I panted as I tried to control my heart. It was thumping so loud. I couldn't shake the feeling my gut. The feeling I was still there. The darkness of the house fooled me into believing I was still there.<p>

"Megan?" I herd Deans voice call out as Sam and Bobby rushed into the room, turning the lights on. My heart was still beating in my throat as I realised just where I was.

"What's going on?" Bobby asked looking around. Sam walked over to me bobbed down to my level.

"Megan? Megan are you ok?" He asked and softly touched my leg. I jumped slightly, making Sam jump back a little. "Hey, come on it's ok." Sam said throwing me puppy dog eyes. I shook my head and bit my lip.

"Megan?" Dean asked moving the best he could so that he could see me. "Hey, Megan, come on, it's ok. You're safe now." Dean said and I stood up from the chair, wrapping my good arm around me. I was shaking so much, this wasn't me. I never shook. But the dreams, the effect they had on me. It scared the crap out of me.

"Girl?" Bobby asked as I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I shook my head as I stood there, shaking slightly. Sam stood up and pulled me into a hug, wrapping his abnormally large arms around me, and cocooning me within him. I sobbed into his chest as I still shook.

"It's ok now. You're safe now." Sam said softly, stroking my back as I held onto him for dear life.

"I.. I'm sorry." I said wiping my face and emerging from the Sam cocoon. "Sorry.." I sobbed wiping away the tears. I couldn't bring myself to look any of them in the eye.

"Girl, you got nothing to be sorry for." Bobby said with a warm smile. I turned to Sam and Dean and they both gave me a warm smile.

"I.. didn't mean to wake you." I said playing with the corner of my sleeve.

"What happened?" Sam asked wrapping his arm across my shoulders.

"Just a bad dream.. I really don't wanna talk about it." I said softly, looking to the floor.

"You wanna take one of the beds?" Bobby asked softly, giving me a sympathetic look. I shook my head.

"No, I just.. I'll be ok in the chair." I admitted wiping my face again. "Was just a stupid dream anyway..." I muttered.

"Well, we'll only be in the next rooms if you need us." Sam said with a soft smile.

"Thank you, both of you." I said looking from Sam to Bobby before they went back to their rooms.

* * *

><p>"You wanna watch some more TV?" Dean asked watching me closely. I could see how worried he was about me. It just made me feel more uneasy.<p>

"Not really." I admitted. "But.. um.."

"Yeah?" Dean asked giving me a small smile.

"This sounds stupid..." I said embarrassed.

"Just tell me Meg." Dean said softly.

"Can I... share the couch with you?" I asked rubbing the back of my neck. "I don't really wanna sleep alone and I don't want ask Bobby. And I don't really know Sam. And well I don't really know you, but your legs broken, so it's not like we could do anything." I said rambling slightly then blushed when I realised what I said. "Not that I wouldn't want to do something. Your kinda cute. But that would be weird. Well I guess not, cos we were married but I don't remember so it would be weird...I'll just shut up now..." I said looking down. I herd Dean chuckle and looked back up at him.

"I forgot what your nervous rants could be like." Dean smirked at me. "Come on, climb in." Dean said throwing the sheets half off him. I climbed onto the couch and snuggled in. Dean was sat up right, with his legs wrapped round the outside of mine, I sank a little so that I was resting on his chest. Listening to his heart beat. Dean turned the light off and sighed.

"Thanks for this Dean. I know... it must be awkward for you." I said as we snuggled in for the night. Dean brushed some hair from behind my ear and rubbed my good shoulder.

"It's not that bad. I get to be around you. It's not like your dead." Dean whispered softly near my ear. I couldn't help but shiver into his body. Dean wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to him. I felt safe in his arms. I felt like he could keep me safe from all the big bad nasty things. Although logically, out of the two of us, I was more likely to keep us safe, being in his arms, just felt safe. I closed my eyes when I noticed something.

"Umm Dean?" I whispered.

"Um hmm." Dean replied sounding sleepy.

"Not to sound cheesy, but, is that a roll of coins in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" I asked half embarrassed, half hiding a giggle.

"Oh um, crap." Dean said moving a little. "Well, um... yeah now it's awkward."

"Yeah..." I said with a small chuckle.

"Sorry. What can I say, you have that effect on me." Dean said with a shrug.

"Not making it any less awkward dude." I admitted with a smirk.

"Yeah, right. Sorry." Dean said softly.

* * *

><p>I woke to very soft voices talking and the rumble of Deans constant breaths as he continued to sleep. I kept my eyes closed and listened in to the conversation, I know it was rude, but I didn't feel like stopping them.<p>

"She's been having them since she got back." Bobby spoke softly. I knew what they were talking about. Me and my nightmares.

"I can't imagine what she's going through." Sam replied with a sigh.

"Girl's strong though, she'll make it through it." Bobby said plainly, I liked Bobby. He was certain about things no other human being could be.

"Maybe it's better she doesn't remember everything though Bobby. These last five years... they've been hell for all of us." Sam muttered. There was a pause and then Bobby sighed.

"How you feeling boy?" Bobby asked.

"Better... yeah better..." Sam said and the room went quiet again. I herd Dean sighed softly and felt his arms wrap around me, holding me a little tighter. It felt nice to be in his arms, I felt safe. I herd the guys chuckle softly.

"Its nice seeing them together again, even if they're just sleeping." Bobby said softly.

"Yeah. I know Dean wants her back, but he's just not sure how to get her back." Sam admitted and I felt bad. Bad for not remembering my life. It was something that was always in the back of my mind.

"We should go grab some food, let the two love birds sleep a little longer." Bobby muttered before I herd them move and leave the house. I opened my eyes and rubbed my hand over Dean's hands that held me close. I had to admit, I was growing to like the feelings Dean made me feel. The safe, the warm, the love. Sure I still wasn't sure how I knew I could feel this way about him. But the feelings were welcome. Knowing there was someone other than Bobby in this world I could trust helped.

"Remind me to slap them." Dean said sounding sleepy. I jumped slightly and turned to face him, his eyes were still closed and his hair was a bit of a mess, he looked kinda cute with three day old stubble.

"You were awake?" I asked confused, brushing a hand through my hair, trying to make myself not look like a mess.

"So were you." He smirked opening his eyes and I couldn't help but smile back, he looked so innocent, so cute.

"Yeah well, how did you know?" I asked as I looked forward again, resting my head on his chest. Dean moved one of his hand and ran it through my hair that had come loose during the night.

"It's a skill." He said softly. "You sleep any better?" He asked mindlessly.

"Yeah actually." I sighed content with the current situation.

"Good. That's good." Dean replied with a soft sigh. We sat in silence, my hand running up and down his arm as he hand played with my hair.

"Was it true what they said?" I asked sitting up and turning to face him.

"What? That I want to be with you?" Dean asked rubbing his eyes. I nodded and he frowned. "Well it's not like I've been hiding it from you Megan." He half chuckled as I nodded and looked down. "Hey, come on, I'm in no rush. You just need to get to know me again. Takes time. I get that."

"It's not just that..." I said standing up and walking over to the other chair, away from his warm, away from his scent and away from him.

"What's wrong?" He asked watching me carefully. I shrugged my shoulders, and ran a hand through my hair. I sat in the chair and pulled my legs up to my chest sighing softly.

"I need to ask something." I said looking down to the floor.

"You can ask anything." Dean said trying to sound reassuring and he was a little. I nodded and took a deep breath before looking up at him, biting my bottom lip.

"I was a werewolf right? Before I went to Purgatory?" I asked leading into my big question.

"Yes. You were a werewolf, not like any I had ever met before, but yeah." Dean replied shuffling slightly.

"Ok, so did I change at full moons?" I asked nervously.

"No, you had control over it. You could change when you wanted to." Dean explained softly. I nodded again taking in that information. The next question wasn't going to be as easy. It was going to be horrible in fact.

"I'm just gonna get a shower. Thanks Dean." I said faking a smile and walked to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>I got undressed and turned on the hot water. I carefully climbed in and started to wash. The water was so warm and it helped relax all my muscles. But it wasn't my muscles seeking solace, it was my brain. Me really. The water beat down onto my skin in a constant pattern that helps me float into my thoughts with ease.<p>

_My dreams, ha, dreams, no nightmares. My nightmares are my brain leaking parts of my life back to me. I mean they must be, how else would I know what the hell the Leviathans are? Or who Dean is? I mean why would I wake up screaming his name otherwise? So yeah, the nightmares are my brain letting me remember a little of who I am.  
>Who am I? A monster. I must be. I killed some people, the creatures, the Leviathans told me so. Why would they lie? What advantage would that really give them? None. So... did I kill someone? Did I wolf out and kill? Why didn't the guys kill me if I did? How could they let me live after doing that? Did they know?<br>I need answers about myself. I need to remember more. I need to remember the last five years. I need to ask Dean. He'll tell me the truth.  
><em>I shivered and my stomach turned just at the thought of killing some poor innocent dude. I never wanted to kill people, not good people, not innocent people. _What kind of person have I become?_ I thought as I turned off the shower and climbed out wrapping a towel around my body. I walked over to the mirror and wiped the steam off, staring hard at my own reflection.

"Who are you?" I asked softly, tilting my head to one side. My shoulder was bruised and the cut looked nasty, but I knew it would heal. I pushed my damp hair off my face and sighed again, shaking my head at my own reflection. "I'm a freaking monster... that's who I am." I muttered and was about to turn around when I noticed my reflection change. My eyes, in my reflection changed to a cold wolf green. "What the hell?" I asked moving closer to the mirror and looked at myself.

"Hello Megan." My reflection said with a smirk as I jumped back slightly.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked watching the reflection carefully. She rolled her head around her shoulders and let out a small growl.

"I'm you." She replied holding her head slightly to the left.

"My eyes... what?" I asked touching my own face, but not seeing my reflection match me.

"Wolf. I'm the wolf side of you. The real side of you." She spoke grinning at me.

"No... I'm not... I checked... I-" I shook my head.

"Oh no I can't be, wah wah wah." My reflection mocked me. "Get a grip sister anyone would think you never hallucinated before."

"Hallucinated?" I asked confused.

"Well, I guess, I'm not really into the brain terminology thing. What I do know is, this is who you really want to meet. I'm the one with the answers, not Dean, not Bobby and not poor little Sammy." My reflection said winking at me.

"Dean will tell me the truth." I said firmly.

"Oh that is cute." My reflection mocked with a laugh. "You actually think Fonzy out there will tell you anything you _Really_ want to hear? He's just gonna keep telling you what you want to hear."

"No he tells me the truth." I said firmly shaking my head a little.

"Then why am I here?" The reflection asked with a cocky smirk.

"Because, I'm tired... drugged and I just need to relax a little." I replied running a hand over my face.

"Rriigghhhtt." My reflection muttered rolling her eyes. "This has nothing to do with the way your feeling. That last bit of trust you can't quiet put into the guys out there. That niggling feeling that they are still keeping so much from you. Yeah, that has _nothing_ to do with this." She said sarcastically.

"Do you know the truth?" I asked getting pissed off at my own reflection

"I am you. I know you, so what do you think?" She said folding her arms over her chest.

"Then tell me." I said glaring back at myself. She paused for a second and then laughed, throwing her head back.

"What happened to asking Dean?" She asked seriously. "That's right, you know he wont tell you the truth."

"Just tell me." I said threw grit teeth. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Fine," She sighed tossing her damp hair over her shoulder. "Ask me something and I'll tell you the truth."

"Was I a werewolf?" I asked starting with something I already knew the answer to. She groaned and rolled her eyes at me.

"Yes, like these didn't give it away." She groaned pointing to her eyes. "Ask something you don't know the answer to Megan."

"Did... did I really, kill someone to get sent to Purgatory?" I asked softly glancing down before waiting for the answer. My reflection smirked nodding a little.

"Going straight for the heart. I like your style. Very gutsy." She nodded with a genuine smile.

"I don't need your praise, I just need an answer." I said firmly, pushing down all the worry and anxiety I was feeling in that moment. She paused, her lips pursed as she watched me closely. The cold green eyes felt so familiar, in a scary, dangerous way. I felt like I should run away from them, get ready to fight, yet, at the same time I was engulfed in them.

"Well then Meg, come a little closer, I don't want to shout." The reflection said curling a finger towards herself. I moved forward leaning over the sink to hear the truth I'd been waiting for. The truth I needed to know now more than ever.

"Answer me." I demanded leaning fully over the sink.

"Fine." She grinned wickedly. Suddenly she grabbed my throat and pulled me full force into the mirror smashing my head against the glass. It stung like a bitch and I was seeing stars for a few seconds as I grasped at my throat, trying to make her let go. It wasn't working. "You killed the boy, his parents, his family. You took them all away and turned him. YOU!" She laughed before smashing me into the mirror a couple more times. I could see the blood trickle down my head as I stumbled down to the floor with a thud. I remembered. I remembered sinking my teeth into the arm of a lost scared little kid and turning him. I remembered the joy I took in playing with his mother before killing her too. I remembered it all and I clamped my eyes closed hoping somehow I could just crawl into a ball and forget it all again. The darkness taking over all my senses.

* * *

><p>I woke to thudding noises and then the bathroom door swinging open full force. Dean hobbled into the room looking scared.<p>

"Megan? Megan are you ok?" He asked as I opened my eyes and looked at him.

"Yeah... I'm ok." I sighed getting to my feet and turning to the mirror. The mirror had no sign of my head connecting with it. No sign of the blood I was so sure trickled down my head. There was nothing. Nothing but my normal refection.

"What happened?" Dean asked resting against the door. I turned to him and pulled the towel closer to my body.

"I must have slipped when I got out the shower." I lied.

"I herd the thud and shouted you. Took me fifteen minutes to get here. Are you sure your ok, you look pale?" Dean asked noticing me. I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"The fall must have..." I didn't finish my sentence, I just shrugged.

"What's wrong Megan?" Dean asked looking worried.

"Nothing Dean." I sighed looking to the floor.

"I can tell something is wrong. Please, I want to help." Dean said softly. I looked up at him and decided to ask him.

"Did I kill anyone when I was a werewolf?" I blurted out bluntly. Dean stood there for a second and sighed running his hand over his three day old stubble.

"This is about the nightmare?" Dean asked softly.

"I just need to know if they are telling me the truth. They said I killed people." I said feeling tears form in my eyes.

"The Leviathans?" Dean asked hobbling closer to me and wrapping his arms around me, pulling himself closer to me to hold me.

"Yeah. In the nightmares, they say I'm there because I killed someone." I said looking him dead in the eye. "I need to know if it's true... if I..." A tear rolled down my cheek as I fought not to break down in front of Dean. He sadly smiled and wiped the tear away with his thumb before kissing my forehead.

"It's just a dream Megan." Dean said softly.

"I need to know the truth Dean, I need you to tell me. Did I?" I asked stepping out of the hug and trying to act tough. Act like I could take the truth if I did. I needed to know if my reflection was telling the truth. Was Dean just telling me what I wanted to hear? Or was he telling me the truth. Could I really trust him?

"Meg-" Dean started to say.

"Please Dean, tell me." I begged softly, biting my bottom lip. Dean sighed again and ran his hand through his hair before resting against the tub.

"Ok. Ok I'll tell you the truth." Dean sighed looking up at me.

"Thank you." I said softly.

"You..." Dean looked down and shook his head, looking back up at me with tears in his eyes. My stomach turned as if I already knew what he was going to say. _Of course I know, she told me. My reflection told me the truth. I did kill someone... oh god... I remember it. It is true..._

"You, you don't-" I stuttered shaking my head. I really didn't want to hear the words from his mouth.

"You came so close to killing someone Megan." Dean said as a tear rolled down his cheek. "But you never did."

"What?" I gasped out confused.

"You didn't kill anyone." Dean said plainly.

"But... I... the dream?" I said confused. The reflection had told me the truth, deep down hearing her say I killed, I knew it was the truth. Dean was lying to me. How much more was he lying to me about?

* * *

><p>Ok so that's it for now. Like I said, sorry for the short chapter dudes. Please, take a few seconds to write the review? Please? Thanks again!<p> 


	4. Girl Next Door

Hey everyone, how are we all? Hope you all had a freaking awesome Halloween! Lots of sweets =) Well, yeah this ep was naff. No two ways about it, sorry guys, but I personally just felt it was too slow, too blah. Sure Jensen was a great director and as always everyone acted their fine arses off, but story wise, yeah now we know it was building for another ep. But it just lacked a punch for me. So, I tried to mess with it, make it work, but honestly, not feeling this chapter that much either. I hope you guys like it, I hope it works. But if it's pants, yeah, you know why now... Sorry.  
>Big shout outs too *drum rolls* Asya55, Klandgraf2007, xxxjempa1112luvSPNxx and, Sam and Dean crazy ass wench for all the constant reviews! You guys keep me going when I think I've lost my mojo ;) Thanks guys!<br>Mini shout out to everyone who reads and alerts, dudes, you silent people, you rock too!  
>Disclaimer in chapter one...<p>

* * *

><p>The next couple of weeks we spent healing up in the cabin. I tried to distance myself from Dean. He lied to me. It was just that simple. He lied to me and I just couldn't trust him. I wasn't even sure that I could trust any of them. I caught my wolf reflection in glances as I walked past the window or a mirror. I'd double check myself when I caught my reflection but on the second look, I was normal. The nightmares had changed too. I was now rerunning killing those people. It was fighting my dreams constantly. It was hard to keep it off my mind. I kept to myself reading things or just surfing the web, catching up with the world. Anything to keep my mind busy. Anything to block out the memories and feelings of killing people. I couldn't shake them no matter how hard I tried. They were always in my mind, if I wasn't busy they always found their way to the front. It scared me to the core that I killed someone, no more than some<em>one<em>, it was people. I killed people.

* * *

><p>Yet, here I was sat in a cabin with at least one experienced hunter alive and breathing. <em>Why the hell didn't they kill me? Why the hell didn't they drop me the moment they found out?<em> I asked myself sitting at the table, watching Sam and Dean. Sam was reading a book next to me and Dean was watching the TV. _Why didn't they kill me? I mean, is that why I went to Castiel? Is that why I gave up my life to make a mends for it all?_ I pondered as Sam looked up from him book and frowned at me slightly.

"You ok?" He asked softly, brushing some of his floppy hair out of his face. I blinked and shuffled slightly in my seat.

"Yeah... yeah I was just thinking." I said with a soft smile and glance back down to the book I was failing to read. It was just some random book about Djinn, nothing I could really focus on.

"Thinking about anything good?" Sam asked softly, I could still feel his eyes on me. I looked back up at him and shrugged my shoulder, wincing slightly at the small amount of pain my left shoulder gave me. It had all but healed but still wasn't 100%.

"Just my family." I lied and Sam nodded softly giving me a sad smile before I turned back to my book and faked reading some more. On the TV I could hear a woman weeping over man, it was in Spanish or Mexican. Lately Bobby and Dean had gotten addicted to watching the stupid show. Bobby walked into the cabin and walked over to the table.

"Dude...Ricardo." Dean said waving to Bobby before turning his attention back to the TV. Bobby stopped dead in his tracks and turned to the TV as well.

"What happened?" Bobby asked sounding genuinely worried.

"Suicidio." Dean replied from the couch. The pair of them had their eyes glued on the TV.

"Adiós, ese." Bobby replied sadly. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I looked up and saw Dean get emotional about the guy dying on TV. "Well, this ought to cheer you up." Bobby added tossing Dean his car keys. A week ago Bobby brought my Camero over and I was so happy, I still couldn't drive her that well, but it meant I had the option to get away if I needed to. It wound Dean up so Bobby had promised to bring the Impala as well.

"My baby! Now I just got to get this stupid thing off and I can drive again." Dean smirked before poking his pot and turning the TV off. Bobby came and sat down next to me at the table after grabbing himself a cup of coffee.

"So how is it out there?" Sam asked as Bobby sat down.

"Weird with a side order of bloody. Talked to a few hunters. They're running into the same kind of thing that set up shop at that hospital." Bobby admitted glancing at us. Bobby had the best connections in the hunting world.

"Yeah, and don't forget tried to kill us at your place." Dean added with a sigh.

"Well, consensus is they're, um, they're like shapeshifter's only a lot more into eating folk. And nothing can kill 'em." Bobby explained shaking his head as he looked at us.

"Good times. Anything else?" Dean asked plainly twirling his keys around his finger mindlessly.

"Yep. They bleed black goo." Bobby muttered before taking a sip of coffee.

"Like that stuff that came out of Cass- those things from Purgatory. Uh..." Sam said struggling to remember their name.

"Leviathan." I said softly looking at anything but the boys eyes. I could never forget their names. The creatures scared the crap out of me.

"Yep." Bobby sighed again, giving me a quick sympathetic smile.

"What about those chompers that you and the sheriff saw at the hospital? They still making spleenburgers?" Dean asked looking at Bobby, trying to make it sound like a joke, but it came out dryly.

"Yeah, made some calls. That doctor never showed back up to work. Ditto a nurse and some administrator." Bobby replied roughly.

"So they could be at any hospital in America." Dean commented sighing loudly.

"Yeah." Bobby muttered into his coffee cup.

"Awesome." I muttered and glanced at Sam. He looked like he had zoned out again. It had been the only time he had zoned out in the three weeks.

"What do you think, Sammy? Sammy? Sam." Dean asked noticing it too. He gave me a worried look.

"Sam?" I asked softly glancing to Bobby when I got no response.

"Hey, ground control! Sam!" Dean yelled a little to his brother. Sam turned his left palm over and he ran his finger over the scar.

"Yeah. What? I'm - I'm right here." Sam said looking at us all.

"You okay?" Dean asked softly.

"Yeah. I'm fine." Sam replied looking at all of us trying to show us. No one said anything for a few seconds. We were all thinking about how Sam was really taking it.

"Good. Every last bit of info I ever had burned down, so..." Bobby groaned shaking his head. Changing the topic quickly so no one could question Sam.

"What about this place? Rufus leave anything? Did you check the basement?" Dean asked hopeful. Dean hadn't been able to move a lot and his exploration of the place went from the toilet to the couch and back again.

"C-rations and dust. I don't think he'd been here in years. So, I got to go round up my old library." Bobby said firmly shaking his head.

"I thought you said most of those books were one-of-a-kind." Sam asked confused.

"Yeah. That's why I stashed copies all over the place." Bobby smirked at us. I smiled back at Bobby.

"Okay, good. Um... Hey, uh, two-legs. We're fresh out of grub. Want to make a run?" Dean asked turning to Sam and waving the keys in his hand.

"Sure. Yeah." Sam said and Dean tossed Sam the keys.

"Be careful with her, would you? And, uh, Sam?" Dean asked Sam got to the door. He paused and turned to face his big brother.

"Yeah?" Sam asked confused.

"Pie." Dean said with a smirk.

"Obviously." Sam smiled before walking out of the door. As soon as Sam walked out the door Dean lost him grin and gave us a blank face.

"So?" Dean asked looking at me and Bobby. Bobby glanced to me and I shrugged my shoulders.

"So what?" He asked Dean.

"Before you bail again -_Girl, Interrupted_ over there. Any thoughts?" Dean asked plainly, pointing to where Sam was sat.

"Looks to me like he's doing better." Bobby said plainly.

"Me too." I added softly.

"Better? What do you mean, better? You just saw him!" Dean asked getting worked up.

"Saw him check out once. That's progress." Bobby stated shaking his head.

"You're kidding!" Dean cried out.

"Look, seems to me that Sam's head ain't no different than your leg, or Megan's shoulder. People heal on a curve." Bobby said getting to his feet.

"Not diff- Bobby, I get this thing off in five days, I'm golden. Sam's not a curve. He's a frickin' time bomb." Dean cried out shaking his head.

"It ain't like he's keeping secrets. What you see is what you get. What's so nuts about calling an upswing?" Bobby asked washing out his cup.

"Because that's not how it works, Bobby, ever! All right? Especially not with Sam. The other shoe is gonna drop. It's just a matter of when." Dean said firmly.

"Well aren't you a ball of sunshine." I said sarcastically and Dean rolled his eyes at me.

"I just know it's gonna happen Megan. I don't think we should pretend anything else is gonna happen." Dean replied shaking his head at me.

"Okay. How 'bout we worry about today's problems? And today, we need intel. I'm going. You sit there and stew. I'll check in. Look...you sitting here wringing your hands ain't gonna do nothing. Maybe he'll surprise you." Bobby said walking over to me and giving me a quick hug before walking out of the door leaving me alone with Dean. Dean sighed and scratched his cast sulking again. He pouted slightly.

"He is getting better, you cant just wait forever for the other shoe to drop." I sighed walking over to pour myself another cup of coffee.

"But he is." Dean pouted folding his arms over his chest. I poured him a cup too and put it down next to the table.

"You think I'm gonna go nuts when I remember everything?" I asked sitting in the chair.

"You're different." Dean sighed picking up the cup.

"Am I?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, you're not gonna loose it and start making things up in your head." Dean said with a nod.

"If you say so..." I sighed taking a sip of my coffee. _If only you knew the truth..._

* * *

><p>Sam came back about an hour later with the shopping, putting it on the table near Dean so he could grab it. "Ah, thank you." Dean sighed grabbing the bag and turning the TV off. He was like a kid at Christmas.<p>

"Yep." Sam sighed standing at the table. "Where's Bobby? He take off?" Sam asked glancing at the pair of us.

"Yeah, went book hunting." I said plainly.

"Hey, Sam, how you doing?" Dean asked pausing, with his hand in the bag.

"Fine." Sam said plainly and walked over to us.

"I mean, you still, you know..." Dean said letting the sentence die away.

"Yeah, no, I,I know what you mean. Yeah, I'm, I'm still seeing crap that's not real. But, yeah, I'm fine. I mean, I can tell the difference." Sam said with a quick nod getting Deans message.

"Think it's getting better?" Dean asked glancing at me before looking at Sam.

"Honestly? Uh... I don't know. I just know I'm managing it, so... So don't worry." Sam said with a smile. Dean nodded and went in the bag pulling out a bag of sour skittles and tossing them at me. Without even asking who they were for.

"Those must be yours." Dean muttered before looking into the bag. I looked at the bag and smirked. I loved sour candy, it wasn't something I told people though. I turned and looked at Sam confused.

"How did you know?" I asked with a half smile.

"You eat them a lot on the road, especially if we had a long road trip. Cheered you up." Sam said with a smile. _Maybe they do know me..._ I thought smiling and opening the bag, taking a few and popping them in my mouth.

"Thanks Sam." I smiled, hugging him with one arm.

"Welcome." Sam replied with the same warm smile.

"Where's the pie?" Dean asked putting out a slice of cake from the bag.

"I got cake. It's close enough, right?" Sam asked with a shrug. Dean looked devastated, I had to bite my lip not to laugh.

* * *

><p>Later that day I was sat on the hood of my Camero just getting some fresh air. It wasn't too cold and I just needed to stretch my legs. The cabin was getting a little too small for my liking. I sighed as I pushed some hair out of my face and closed my eyes taking a deep breathe. Memories started to attack my calm, like a horrible nightmare.<p>

_I walked behind Mrs Silver. "I'm sure my husband wont be long with news." She said as she walked. She had no idea what I was about to do to her and her family._

_"I doubt it." I said in a plainly voice. She stopped walking and turned to me confused._

_"Sorry?" She asked innocently. I could instantly smell the fear as she turned to me._

_"I doubt your husband will be coming back any time soon." I said plainly._

_"What... who are you?" Mrs Silver asked backing away from me. Her fear was just rolling off her now and I was lapping it up._

_"You're worst nightmare." I whispered and watched as Mrs Silver's eyes widened. She froze for a second. It was all I needed. In that second I was stood behind her. One hand on her mouth, the other wrapped around her neck. "I'm going to break your neck, enough so you wont move ever again. Then while you watch, I'm going to kill you son's in front of your eyes. And if, if I'm feeling generous, I might kill you too. I haven't decided yet." I whispered into her ear. Even more fear rolled off Mrs Silver as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Don't worry, I'll kill your sons quick." I added with a small laugh. I was stood holding Mrs Silver when a man walked into the back yard, wiping some blood from his chin. I knew he was a werewolf too, someone I had a connection with but I couldn't remember his name. He was tall his dark hair and wolf eyes. He wasn't the ugliest man in the world, but I knew he was dangerous._

_"Haven't you killed her yet? We gotta grab the kids." He sighed jokingly mad at me. I shrugged and run my lips up her throat, feeling her pulse under my lips. The thrill her racing heart beat gave, I couldn't match that feeling with anything._

_"I like to play with my food." I said with a smirk to the man._

_"That's my girl." He smiled back at me. I kissed Mrs Silver's throat softly and she almost screamed. He watched with wide eyes as I continued to kiss her neck until I was near her main artery in her neck. As I reached it, I felt the increased pulse pass my lips. I took a quick glance at the man and he was licking his lips._

_"Say good night Mrs Silver." I whispered into her eyes before biting down into her artery, her blood rushing into my mouth in an intoxicating rush. I drank her dry, and as her life let her I got an extra kick. After finishing my little snack, I laid her body on the ground and looked at the man..._

I shuddered remembering killing the woman, then I remembered what I did to her child. I remember all the horrific things I did. The kick I got out of tasting their blood. The joy, the sick joy of killing another human being.

_I bobbed down, wrapping my arms around the kid tighter, holding him against my body. I took his arm and pulled his sleeve up._

_"Please, don't!" Ryan cried as I brought his arm up to my mouth. "No!" Ryan screamed as I bit into his young flesh. I drank a little of his blood then, bit my own wrist. I placed my bleeding wrist over the bite and held it there until the kid stopped screaming. His body went limp in my arms. I picked him up and laid him on the bar._

* * *

><p>I snapped my eyes open and shivered, a tear rolling down my cheek as I recalled the lives I took back when I was werewolf. It was tearing me up inside knowing that I took their lived for no good reason. And it then my thoughts all came back down to the point. I couldn't understand why they hadn't killed me. I deserved to die. I really did.<p>

"I really am a monster." I said pushing myself off the car and pacing up and down in front of the Camero. "I killed... I killed so many people..." I muttered shaking my head. The memories wouldn't leave me alone. Every time I closed my eyes, every time I went to sleep all I could see was me killing the family. Taking the lives and the sick and twisted kick I got out of it. It made me sick to the stomach. Literally. I ran round the back of a tree and threw my guts up.

"Megan? Hey, you out here?" I herd Sam shout from the door of the cabin. I groaned and spat out the last of the sick in my mouth and forced myself to walk out from behind the tree. I felt tired. So damn tired.

"Yeah." I replied weakly as Sam's eyes dropped on me. He closed the door to the cabin and walked over to me, frowning slightly as he put his hands in his pockets.

"You ok?" He asked confused.

"Just been remembering some stuff that wasn't so nice." I replied shaking my head. I felt sick again but I had nothing left to throw up, which considering Sam was stood in front of me was probably a good thing.

"Wanna talk about it?" Sam asked looking down at me with big puppy dog eyes. I shook my head slightly, then stopped, if I moved to much I thought I was gonna give Sam's shoes an interesting polish.

"Dean said I didn't do those things, so it's just my head messing with me." I shrugged watching Sam closely. He looked confused for just a second before a blank face appeared.

"I know all about that." He half joked. "What are you seeing?" Sam asked worried.

"It doesn't matter Sam, what did you want?" I asked trying to change the topic.

"You can tell me. You did help me a lot when I was kinda messed up." Sam said throwing the puppy dog look into overdrive. I sighed pushing the hair off my face and looked over to my car, zoning out a little.

"Killing people." I said so softly I wasn't sure Sam herd me or not. There was a long pause before Sam spoke.

"We all make mistakes and feel guilty about things. Maybe your brain is trying to work out why you feel that way." Sam suggested avoiding the issue of me actually killing people. "I'm sure it will pass."

"I hope so." I sighed walking to the cabin. Sam fallowed me in and I saw Dean out cold to the world asleep on the couch. I pulled a blanket over him and sighed.

"You gonna be ok?" Sam asked sounding worried.

"I will, just gonna, sleep for a while." I said throwing my thumb over to one of the bedrooms.

"Sure, yeah. If you need anything, just yell." Sam said sitting down at the table and picking up the newspaper.

"I will.." I sighed and walked into the room. I walked over to the bed and collapsed. "He knows something. He knows Dean is lying to me. Maybe I can trust Sam... Urgh! I have no idea who I can trust any more..." I threw my hands over my face and groaned before curling up and trying to get some sleep.

* * *

><p>"Damn it!" I cursed shooting up bolt straight in bed, the cold sweat running down my face. I woke from another horrible dream. The flash back of killing the people fresh in my mind. I groaned, pulling myself out of the bed and grabbed a change of clothes. I walked into the bathroom and climbed into the shower. The dreams were making it so hard to get any rest. They only time I really got any peace was when I showered. I could zone out and let the hot water relax my body as I listened to the constant beat of the water on my skin. I had zone out and was actually starting to relax slightly when the bathroom door sprung open. There wasn't a shower curtain in the bathroom so the cold air hit my out of the day dream I was in.<p>

"What the-?" I shouted turning to see Dean stood there with his crutch. "Dean? Get out!" I yelled wrapping my hands over my wet, naked body. Dean grinned at the imagine in front of him, looking like he had zoned out himself. I grabbed my wash cloth and threw it hitting him in the face and snapping him out of the thoughts.

"I... um... Can you get out here fast?" Dean asked before glancing at me once more and hobbling back down the corridor. I groaned loudly and grabbed the towel wrapping it around my body and fallowing Dean back to the couch where he was sitting down.

"This better be good Winchester, or I am going to cut your balls off with a rusty knife!" I growled glaring at Dean.

"Wow, your sexy when your fiesty." Dean laughed but I just growled again. Dean quickly stopped laughing and grabbed a note from the table passing it to me. "Read it."

"Fine!" I growled taking the note and opening it. "_Back in a few days. I'm fine. Sam._" I read the note and looked at Dean confused. "You dragged me out of the shower, for this?" I asked waving the note.

"He's gone! God knows where, with who knows in charge!" Dean said taking the note and looked genuinely worried for Sam's well being.

"Or he could just need some space. God knows I do being stuck in here for three weeks." I sighed shaking my head.

"Space, I thought avoiding me would give you enough space." Dean muttered and I rolled my eyes.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Oh you know, avoiding me, every chance you get." Dean replied sounding annoyed.

"Avoiding you?" I asked shaking my head.

"I noticed you don't want to stay around me alone." Dean said firmly.

"Yeah, and you wonder why, when you just burst into the bathroom while I was showering?" I asked rolling my eyes. "We're all living in a tiny space, on top of each other twenty four seven, in case you haven't noticed."

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" Dean asked plainly. I looked into his eyes and sighed.

"Yeah, I am Dean." I shook my head and decided to change the topic. "Why are you so worried about Sam? Sounds like he just needed some space." I sighed running a hand through my wet hair.

"Megan, I know Sam. Something is wrong." Dean said with pleading eyes. I sighed again and looked up at the ceiling for a second. I felt like something was forcing me to be around Dean. Like fate was making me stay around him. I looked back down and he still looked worried, waiting for me to say something.

"Fine. I'll get dressed and try calling him. Happy?" I asked plainly.

"I've tried calling, he wont answer." Dean replied dryly.

"Fine... we'll, we'll call Bobby and see what he knows... Just, give me a second to change." I sighed and walked off to get changed. I quickly got changed and Dean called Bobby putting him on speaker phone. I tried to call Sam, but he ignored my call letting it go to voice mail.

"Sam, it's Megan. You're stupid, retarded brother is worried about you. Just, call one of us, just to shut him up before I duck tape his mouth shut, thanks." I sighed closing my phone. I turned to Dean as Bobby picked up.

"Other shoe!" Dean said firmly as Bobby picked up the phone. I rolled my eyes at Dean. I thought he was over reacting. Sure Sam lost it big style once, but I had no doubt he had gotten past that and was getting better. Just try and convince Dean of that...

"_Other who?_" Bobby asked confused.

"Sam. He took off." Dean stated.

"_Where?_" Bobby asked.

"I don't know. Nowhere good." Dean stated with a frown.

"_Well, maybe he needed a little_ _me-time_." Bobby suggested.

"That's what I said Bobby." I added and Dean glared at me. I poked my tongue out at him in response.

"Yeah, but his me-time ain't just him. I mean, for all we know he's road trippin' with Lucifer somewhere. Left me here like Jimmy friggin' Stewart." Dean explained hitting his pot.

"_I assume you called._" Bobby stated.

"Straight to voice mail. Megan tried too, same thing. He turned his GPS off, too. And he took my car!" Dean complained, sounding most angry by the fact Sam had taken Dean's car.

"_Don't panic_." Bobby stated trying to keep Dean calm.

"Too late!" Dean snapped. I gave Dean a blank stare and he flung his arms in the air huffing, before folding them over his chest and pouted.

"_Look, he says he's okay, so give it a couple of days. Just till you get the cast off, then hunt him down. Till then, we'll all just keep calling_." Bobby suggested.

"All right." Dean sighed and hung up on Bobby. I looked at Dean and he stared back into my eyes, watching me closely. There was a glint in his eyes. Something that screamed trouble to me.

"You're not just going to sit here are you?" I asked dryly.

"And you say you don't know me." Dean said sarcastically. I groaned getting to my feet.

"Fine, I'm not letting you go alone. Let me grab a bag of things and we can take my car." I sighed shaking my head.

"Fine. Just don't be too long." Dean stated. I nodded walking off to one of the rooms to gather things together. I got everything together and walked out of the room to hear a drill or saw starting up. I rushed to the living area to see Dean stood there with and angle grinder and a manic grin on his face.

"You're goin' down." Dean grinned before cutting into his cast. I groaned and rolled my eyes as he cut the cast.

"Oh lord..." I sighed.

* * *

><p>I refused to let Dean drive my Camero for two very good reasons. Firstly, it was my car after all. She was my pride and joy, and I knew how to drive her to get the most out of her. Secondly, Dean had just took his cast off, he wasn't great with his leg and I didn't want him to crash the car and mess up my baby. Dean was sat in the passenger side trying to call Sam as I drove down the road. He sighed and threw his phone onto the dash.<p>

"Shall I take that as no answer?" I asked softly, causally looking at the phone on my dash.

"Voice mail. Again! I swear I'm gonna kick his ass if he ain't in danger!" Dean growled folding his arms over his chest. He was more worried about Sam then actually mad. I could tell how close they were.

"Don't worry. We'll find him dude." I sighed as we reach the Gas and Sip store where Sam went to get out food. We pulled up outside and climbed out of the car. "This guy will probably remember him, come it's not like you could miss Sam." I half joked as we walked to the store.

"Yeah, lets hope he told the store clerk where he was planning to go too." Dean said sarcastically holding the door for me.

"You know, you are such a jackass at times." I huffed walking in and biting back a growl. We walked over to the clerk and I smiled politely. The clerk smiled back at me with a warm smile. Dean walked to the side of me and butted in before I could open my mouth.

"How you doing? Uh, was there a, uh, big guy in here yesterday?" Dean asked waving a arm to show the guy was much bigger than Dean. The clerk lost his smile and glared at Dean a little.

"That's specific." The clerk said sarcastically and I bit my lip not to smile. Dean pulled a face and then tried again.

"Uh, I mean big. Like about yea high?" Dean asked again waving his hand above his head more.

"He is abnormally tall. Kinda like a Sasquash." I joked slightly and the clerk smiled at me again. He was checking me out slightly and I wasn't sure what to do. So I acted like I hadn't noticed.

"Yeah, maybe. Uh, brown hair?" The clerk asked me with a soft smile.

"Yes! Yes. That's him. Do you, uh- you remember what he bought?" Dean asked butting in again. The clerk thought about it for a few seconds.

"Snacks, maybe?" He suggested not really remembering.

"How about a paper? Do you have yesterday's paper?" Dean asked quickly.

"Yeah, right there." The clerk said pointing to behind me.

"Oh." Dean replied, I picked up the paper and passed it to Dean. On the front cover was something about an ice pick killer. It didn't mean anything to me, but from the way Dean's eyes darkened, it clearly meant something to him. "Do you mind?" Dean asked the clerk and he shrugged.

"Thank you." I said as we were about to walk out the room.

"Hey, miss." The clerk called and I turned back around. "Um...here's my number. If you um ever wanna hang out sometime..." The clerk said passing me a scrap of paper. I smirked and took the paper.

"Thanks." I smiled tucking it into my back pocket. The clerk smiled as Dean groaned and headed out of the shop. I fallowed Dean out and chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny?" Dean said with a grumpy voice as we climbed in the car.

"That guy hitting on me." I said with a chuckle. "Weird." I said shaking my head.

"How's it weird?" Dean asked confused. I paused and turned to him looking utterly confused.

"I'm just not used to it I guess." I shrugged starting up the car. Dean looked a little jealous and cleared his throat.

"Yeah well..." Dean looked down at the paper scowling at it. "We need to go check out these deaths." Dean stated changing the topic. I glanced at the paper, he was reading the front page.

"Sure thing, just tell me the directions." I said pulling away from the place.

* * *

><p>We drove to a local motel and book in for an hour to change into our FBI clothes and grab our badges. Then we headed down to the coroners to check out the dead bodies. Dean wouldn't tell me what he thought Sam was up to. All he told me was that he thought it might have been some kind of hunt Sam was working. We walked in the building and was lead to the bodies. The coroner pulled out a dead body, looking at the clip board before looking back at us.<p>

"This is the one he asked to see." He replied double checking his note board.

"Great, great. Uh, let me ask you, did he do anything to it?" Dean asked as we looked at the body. It was a guy, looked like he had some trauma to the neck, and head. It looked like the paper had said, like an ice pick had been used to kill him. I wasn't sure what the hell it was that had killed him.

"No. He just asked a few questions about the other vics - missing pituitary glands and so forth." The coroner replied looking from me to Dean.

"Son of a bitch." Dean muttered softly before we left the building. We headed back to the motel and changed. Dean wouldn't say a word and I could tell by the way he was acting he knew exactly what Sam was up to.

* * *

><p>We got into the car and Dean called Bobby to fill us both in at the same time. I was kinda annoyed that Dean wouldn't tell me but I think he was still sulking because of the clerk hitting on me.<p>

"_Sam's chasin' a what?_" Bobby asked confused on speaker phone.

"A Kitsune. It's pretty rare. Dad and I hunted one back in '98." Dean explained as I drove. I glanced at Dean and he was watching the road.

"_Vaguely rings a bell._" Bobby replied.  
>"Yeah, didn't make our highlight reel." Dean sighed.<p>

"_Well, least now we know he's working a job._" Bobby said trying to save positive.

"Told you so." I chipped in and herd Dean sigh.

"_Play nice you two._" Bobby warned with a laugh in his voice.

"Yeah, but why pull the Houdini act?" Dean asked changing the topic back to Sam.

"_Not a clue._" Bobby replied.

"Maybe he thought he could handle it alone?" I suggested softly.

"Maybe he didn't want us involved for some reason." Dean suggested as we glanced at each other.

"_What are you gonna do when you catch up?_" Bobby asked confused. Dean glanced at me with a smirk before answering Bobby.  
>"I got a few ideas." Dean replied.<p>

"Well just don't kill him." Bobby sighed.

"I'll make sure he doesn't Bobby." I replied.

"_Good. Call me when you find him._" Bobby said before hanging up. Dean put his phone away and we drove in silence for a little while. As I drove the thoughts of killing the people started to creep into my fore mind. I groaned and hit play on the CD player. Suddenly Bullet For My Valentine started to play and I started to drum my fingers on the steering wheel. Dean grunted and turned the music off.

"Hey! Why'd you do that?" I asked shocked and slightly annoyed at Dean.

"Because it's rubbish. Haven't you got any better music? Metalica? Hendrix?" Dean asked opening the glove box and looking through my CD's.

"Hey, back off! Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole!" I said switching the music back on and drumming my fingers to the beat again. I glanced to Dean and he froze, just sat there with his mouth wide open. I turned down the music a little and looked at him confused. "What?" I asked confused.

"What did you just say?" Dean asked putting the CD's back. I paused and thought about it.

"I said, driver picked the music-" I started to say.

"Shotgun shuts his cake hole." Dean said cutting in. I nodded slightly confused.

"What? What did I do?" I asked confused. Dean smiled at me and shook his head.

"That's my rule. I've said that to you and Sam when you complained about the music I listen to in the Impala." Dean said with a warm smile. I sighed softly, pushing some hair out of my face as I processed it all.

"So... what? I remembered that?" I asked confused.

"You must have. We haven't been in a car together long enough since you came back." Dean replied. I nodded slowly.

"It's gotta be a good thing right?" I asked glancing at Dean.

"Yeah, yeah, it's the first thing you've really remembered about me." Dean said with a warm smile. I smiled back. It was the first nice thing I had remembered at all. It gave me a small hope that there was more nice to things to remember.

* * *

><p>We reached the motel Sam was checked into and found the room Sam was staying in. I parked the Camero out of sight of his room and we climbed out taking our bags. Dean sighed as he looked around the parking lot and couldn't find his Impala.<p>

"I'm sure Sam is keeping her safe." I half joked as I put my hand on Dean's shoulder.

"Yeah. But man, I'm gonna kill him for stealing her!" Dean huffed as we walked to the room. I knocked and we got no answer.

"Plan B?" I asked glancing at Dean. He went into his pocket and pulled out the lock pick.

"Plan B." He stated as I stood in front of him as he picked the lock. We went in and dropped our bags. The room had a wall with what looked like a hunt planned out on it. I slipped my jacket off as Dean walked over to it.

"Homework?" I asked walking to the side of Dean. It was impressive Sam had definitely been doing his homework on this hunt.

"Yeah..." Dean sighed turning around and dropping his jacket on the chair over mine. "I just don't get why..."

"He just might of wanted to prove to himself he could handle it alone? You know, that he isn't a messed up as he thought he was?" I suggested turning to face Dean. He didn't look so convinced.

"I guess." He replied when we herd the Impala pull up. Dean turned to the door as I stood back and waited to see what he was going to do.

"Remember you can't kill him." I said softly.

"I know." Dean said just as soft. We herd the door unlock and I saw Dean tense up. As soon as the door was opened Dean punched Sam making him fall backwards to the floor with an almighty thud. "Howdy, Sam." Dean said plainly.

* * *

><p>Sam walked into the motel and looked shocked by the punch. I had to admit, I didn't expect Dean to punch his brother that hard. Sam glanced at me for an explanation and I shrugged my shoulders.<p>

"New rule. You steal my baby, you get punched. The hell were you thinking, Sam, running off like that? I mean, for all we know, Satan could have been callin' your plays." Dean scolded his brother. Sam walked over to me and I grabbed a soda from the fridge and handed it to Sam. He pressed it against his head where Dean had punched him. It looked like it was going bruise and look nasty in the morning.

"Dean, look, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm fine." Sam sighed softly.

"Oh, yeah, no, you're a poster boy for mental health. You have any idea the kind of horror shows I had going on in my head?" Dean replied sounding really pissed at Sam.

"Dean, take it easy man." I said softly Dean turned to me and huffed.

"Easy? Megan, we had no idea where he went or what was happening to him! Now is not the time to take it easy! Now is the time to kick your ass." Dean said turning to Sam and pointing his finger at Sam.

"Dean, I left you a note. There was a job in town." Sam said explaining his actions with a shrug.

"A Kitsune. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. And you ignore Bobby, Meg and I's phone calls why, exactly?" Dean asked folding his arms over his chest as he sighed loudly.

"Because I wanted to take care of it. And I did. I took care of it." Sam said sitting on the edge of the bed and looked from me to Dean.

"Really?" Dean asked shocked.

"Yes." Sam sighed.

"Where's the body?" Dean asked plainly.

"There is no body." Sam sighed getting to his feet.

"Why not?" I asked confused by it all. Sam sighed and looked from me to Dean and back to me again.

"Because I let her go. She's gone." Sam explained.

"You what? Why?" Dean asked utterly shocked and confused.

* * *

><p>Sam explained to us why. He explained that back when Dean and his dad were hunting the Kitsune, Sam had run into it and her daughter. Sam explained how him and the daughter kitsune, Amy had got together and kissed. Sam explained how he was at Amy's when her mother came home and found him there. How she had tried to kill Sam, feed from him and Amy had killed her own mother to protect him. Sam explained to us how he completely trusted Amy. He believed her and I believed Sam. It was one of those weird moments again where I just knew I could believe Sam. I just knew it was true.<p>

"You never told me that." Dean sighed shaking his head a little.

"I never told anyone. I mean, can you imagine what Dad would have done?" Sam asked with a half hearted chuckle.

"So you saw the article in the newspaper, and you just bolted." Dean said.

"It was my mess." Sam sighed softly.

"And you call letting her go cleaning it up?" Dean asked firmly.

"She killed her own mom, Dean, to save me." Sam said getting to his feet.

"I hear you, Sam. I do. But look at her now. She's dropping bodies, man... Which means we got to drop her, no matter how many merit badges she racked up when she was a kid. I'm sorry, but it's that simple." Dean stated firmly.

"Simple? Really Dean, you're going to talk to me about it being that simple?" Sam asked and Dean glanced at me before looking at Sam.

"Sam this has-" Dean said softly.

"This has everything to do with it Dean." Sam said getting mad at his brother.

"Someone wanna fill me in?" I asked getting the guys attentions. They turned to me and Sam nodded.

"Yeah, why don't we fill her in Dean?" Sam asked turning to his brother.

"Sam no." Dean warned firmly.

"Someone tell me." I said plainly. Sam turned back to me and nodded.

"Dean wants to kill Amy because she killed someone." Sam said.

"Yeah I already got that bit." I said sarcastically.

"Yeah well what Dean seems to forget is-" Sam started to say.

"Sam! I said no!" Dean barked glaring at his brother. Sam paused and shook his head.

"This is so hypocritical." Sam muttered

"What the hell is going on here?" I asked looking from Sam to Dean.

"Nothing. It's complicated." Dean snapped at me.

"Nothing in our lives is simple." Sam muttered. Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face before turning to his brother.

"Look, man, I get it, okay? You meet a girl, you feel that spark - there's nothing better. But this freak?" Dean asked. Sam stood up and grabbed his jacket. "I didn't mean-"

"Yeah, you did. Look, I see the way you look at me, Dean, like I'm a grenade and you're waiting for me to go off." Sam snapped again.

"Sam-" Dean said softly, trying to avoid a fight.

"I'm not going off. Look, I might be a freak, but that's not the same as dangerous." Sam said firmly.

"I didn't say-" Dean argued half heartedly.

"It's okay. Say it. I've spent a lot of my life trying to be normal, but come on. I'm not normal. Look at all the crap I've done, look at me now. I'm a grade-A freak. But I'm managing it. Megan managed it. And so is Amy." Sam said pointing to me slightly. I had no memory of handling being a 'freak'. I stood there and watched the pair carefully.

"Is she? How?" Dean asked getting a little worked up.

"She works at a damn funeral home so she doesn't have to kill anyone, Dean. She's figured out how to deal." Sam almost shouted.

"Okay, well, then explain the bodies." Dean asked firmly.

"She's done. Her friggin' kid was dying, Dean. Put you or me in her position, we'd probably do the same thing. Look, you don't trust her. Fine. Trust me. Dean, please." Sam asked pleading with his big brother.

"Okay." Dean said plainly.

"Seriously?" Sam asked just as shocked as I was.

"Got to start sometime, right?" Dean asked looking from me to Sam.

* * *

><p>The next day we went in the Impala to grab some food. I was stood outside the shop with Dean, leaning on the Impala.<p>

"You wanna tell me what that was about in the motel room?" I asked watching the people walk by.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked confused.

"Well the conversation you were stopping Sam from telling me?" I asked plainly.

"It's complicated Megan, now really isn't the time to get into it." Dean sighed. I nodded and turned to Dean.

"Then tell me why the sudden act of faith in Sam. I highly doubt you really trust his option to let her go." I said looking Dean dead in the eyes. He stared back at me with the poker face for a few seconds. He was thinking about something. I opened my mouth to say something else when Dean's phone rang. I groaned and turned back to watching the people walk by. I noticed Sam walk towards us with a shopping bag. He looked really happy to be trusted and I couldn't blame him. I smiled at Sam, knowing full well Dean didn't trust Sam as much as he stated.

"Bozeman. Right. Got it. Thanks." Dean said getting off the phone as Sam reached us. "That was Bobby. We'll hole up in Spokane tonight. We'll meet him tomorrow. Why don't you drive?" Dean asked Sam tossing him the keys to the Impala.

"You gonna punch me again?" Sam asked with a smirk. We drove back to the motel and I sat in the back silently. Thankfully Sam didn't pick up on it and I'm glad too because I wasn't sure what I would have said if he had asked me about it.  
>"Hey, why don't, uh- why don't you check us in? I got to hit the candy store." Dean said shaking his bottle of pills. "Doctor's orders."<p>

"Sure." Sam sighed getting out of the car. I glanced at Dean in the rear view mirror before climbing out too. I knew Dean was up to something. I just wasn't sure what. Dean slide over and drove off.

"You two ok?" Sam asked as we booked in.

"Super. Why wouldn't we be?" I asked holding the shopping.

"No reason." Sam shrugged as we walked to the room.

"What were you going to tell me Sam?" I asked pausing at the room door.

"Megan I was mad-" Sam said making an excuse so he wouldn't tell me.

"Look Sam. I trust you ok, so I'm going to level here." I said plainly, Sam looked down at me confused. "I know Dean is lying to me. I know I killed people. I remembered. I just don't know why you guys just didn't kill me." I said looking into his green eyes. His eyes looked so similar to Dean's and yet at the same time completely different. They had been through a completely different type of pain. A different life of horrors. I know it sounds stupid to say I could see all that in his eyes, but I could. Sam took the bag from me and unlocked the door. We walked in and he set the bag down on the table. I closed the door behind us and paused waiting for an answer.

"He loves you." Sam said softly before turning to face me. "He wouldn't let any of us kill you. He wouldn't even let you kill yourself, and you tried." Sam explained. "He loved you so much, he couldn't face loosing you again."

"It's that simple?" I asked confused. I didn't believe it. I didn't want to think that I wasn't killed just because he loved me. Sure it's romantic as hell, but in the hunting world, it just isn't practical.

"Nothing in our life is. But that's what it breaks down to." Sam explained with a small shrug as if it was all he was going to tell.

"So why did he lie? Why did he say I didn't kill those people?" I asked confused shaking my head as I paced around a little trying to figure it all out in my mind.

"He probably didn't want to hurt you Megan. He still loves you." Sam said pulling me into a small hug.

"Thanks, for telling me the truth Sam." I said as we pulled out of the hug.

"We're like family. Of course I'll tell you the truth." Sam said with a small smile.

* * *

><p>I still had a bad feeling Dean was going to do something stupid. Really stupid. I told Sam I needed some time alone to process it all and I went to my car. I used the GPS in Dean's phone and tracked him to a motel across town. As I pulled up to the place I spotted the Impala parked in the drive. My stomach rolled as I got a bad feeling.<p>

"Just what are you doing here Dean?" I sighed climbing out and checking that I had my gun with me. I went to the reception and asked if they had seen a man like Dean. The clerk behind the desk told me what room number he was asking about and I thanked them. I searched for the number and spotted it on the second floor. The door looked open and I inwardly groaned slightly at the sight. I raced up the stairs and then slowly walked towards the door keeping silent as I pulled my gun. As I got closer I could hear voices talking.

"Sam sent you?" A woman's voice asked.

"Sam doesn't know I'm here." Dean replied.

"But he told you. My son-" The woman said and I knew it was the Amy woman Sam told us again. My gut hit the floor as I herd Dean reply.

"I know. I know. But people... They are who they are. No matter how hard you try, you are what you are. You will kill again." Dean said with a cold voice.

"I won't. I swear." Amy cried out. I sped up a little and reached the door as Dean talked again.

"Trust me, I'm an expert. Maybe in a year, maybe ten. But eventually, the other shoe will drop. It always does." Dean said as he stabbed her. "I'm sorry." Dean said softly and lowered her on the bed.

"What have you done?" I asked walking into the room as Dean pulled the knife out and wiped it. He turned to me plainly. He had the face of a cold stone killer and it took me a second not fight the urge to attack him.

"She needed to die Megan, it was only a matter of time before she killed again." Dean said looking me dead in the eyes. Something about his attitude, his determination that she would kill again, it hit a nerve. A big nerve.

"Really?" I asked firmly getting mad at Dean.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

"And you know this how?" I asked tilting my head to one side.

"I just know." Dean said looking me in the eye. I couldn't believe his attitude, the way he played judge, jury and executioner.

"Then I got a question for you." I said biting back the anger in me, I just wanted to punch Dean in the face.

"What?" Dean asked coldly.

"Why the hell didn't you kill me? Why didn't you let me die? I killed people Dean! I killed children and women and you never once tried to kill me for it!" I snapped. I saw the blind panic in his eyes for a second before he composed himself again. The stone cold face returning.

"You... you're different." Dean stuttered.

"How? Because I married you? Does that give me the right to kill anyone I don't like the look of Dean?" I shouted throwing my arms in the air. "You should have killed me too. Or you should have just let her go! You hypocrite!" I growled, punching Dean in the face making him fall back a few steps. I didn't mean to punch Dean, but when I did, it felt good. A little too good.

"How was I meant to kill you?" Dean asked holding his jaw as he looked back at me. "I love you Megan. You are the only one in the world I have ever really loved! Tell me, how was I meant to let anyone take you away from me?"

"It wasn't your choice! I killed!" I shouted back as tears formed in both our eyes. I may not remember my feeling for Dean, but I knew I felt something for him now.

"I lost so much! I just..." Dean's voice broke as a tear rolled down his cheek. "How was I meant to live without you in my life? You are the only think that keeps me going. You are the only reason I wake in the morning. Bobby could do this without me. Sam? Sam is a wreck, he might just be better in a psychiatric ward. But you Megan, you are the only truly good thing in this crappy world. You." Dean said as his voice before weak and soft.

"We're hunters. We hunt the bad things... Dean I was the bad thing." I said holding back the tears I had in my eyes. "Sam is going to-"

"Sam isn't going to find out. You cant tell him Megan." Dean said walking over to me. I backed away shaking my head.

"Dean-" I stared to say.

"You can't. He doesn't need to know. He can't. He needs to think he can trust me. He needs to trust me." Dean pleaded with me.

"This is so wrong Dean." I said shaking my head, glancing at the body on the bed. "You can't keep this from him."

"I have to. We have to." Dean said plainly.

"I..." I said looking back over at him, Dean looked so lost and hurt. I felt bad for him. I felt... lost in the tidal wave emotions that were attacking me in that moment. "I'll... I wont tell him." I whispered surcoming to the feelings that were telling me that I needed to protect Dean.

"Thank you Megan." Dean said looking down in my eyes. I shook my head taking a deep breath.

"No. Don't thank me. I'm only keep this from Sam, because I'm scared it will push him over the edge if he finds out." I said firmly. "Now I'm leaving, going back to the motel. Just... just don't talk to me for a while." I said turning around and walking out the building as fast as I could.

* * *

><p>I climbed into the Camero and broke down. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my body shook. My mind went into overdrive as I took in everything that just happened. Dean had killed someone because he was so sure she would kill again, yet he wouldn't kill me. He said he loved me, but how could I love someone who killed someone who was in the same situation as me. Not remembering anything was killing me. I needed to find a way to sort it all out. A way to remember everything or I needed to get far, far away from Dean.<p>

* * *

><p>So what do you guys think? Stinks right? Either way, just spend a few more seconds and review please? Thanks.<p> 


	5. Defending Your Life

Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing well... I hope this chapter makes up for the last lame one. Dedicated to Harley R.I.P, dude it sucks to loose a member of the family...  
>Shout out to- Asya55, Klandgraf2007, Sam and Dean's crazy ass wench for the reviews.<br>Disclaimer in chapter one.

* * *

><p>Frosty. Yeah that was the best word to describe the relationship I had with Dean. No, frosty was too mild of a word. Blizzard, was closer. I refused to talk to him, look at him, unless I had to. Sam picked up on it at the drop of a hat. Of course he would, he wasn't dumb and we weren't subtle. Dean refused to talk to me and I him. Somehow we had both told Sam it was because of Dean lying to me about killing people. He bought it. But I was kicking myself inside keeping the truth from Sam. Dean killed someone, and then lied his arse of to Sam. It wasn't right. It just wasn't. We pulled up to the motel in Dearborn Michigan and Sam climbed out the car to book us a room for a few days. Dean glanced at me in the rear view mirror and I glared at him.<p>

"You know. We have to talk at some point about this." Dean said as he drove into the lot.

"You'd think, but no, not really." I said plainly. Dean let out a sarcastically chuckle as he parked the Impala. He turned to face me and looked me dead in the eyes.

"Megan, Sam is noticing the friction between us." Dean stated.

"He's a smart boy." I replied dryly forcing myself not to roll my eyes at him.

"Look. I did what I had to do-" Dean started to explain his actions and I cut him off.

"Don't try and defend yourself to me! You're gonna have to answer to Sam when he finds out." I snapped getting out of the car and slamming the door shut. I stormed to the boot and grabbed my bag before slamming the boot down too. Dean climbed out of the car and marched over to me, looking just as pissed as I was feeling.

"Yeah. I will. And what about you? When he finds out, what are you going to say?" Dean asked almost growling at me.

"The truth." I snapped, glaring into his eyes.

"Yeah, because he really is going to believe that." Dean scoffed.

"Hey I didn't kill her." I snapped back. I just wanted to punch him in his stupid face. I groaned loudly and walked away from him before I did in fact hurt him. "Stupid... freaking... idiot... Arh!" I kicked a stone and it landed right in front of Sam. He walked over to me with a frown on his face.

"Well, no need to ask how your feeling." He said trying to make a joke.

"I'm sorry." I said with a small shrug.

"You know, if you wanna talk about." Sam said with a sad smile. "He's been my brother a long time, I know what he can be like." I looked into Sam's eyes and I bet so bad keeping the truth from him. I wanted so badly just to tell him, but it wasn't my place. Dean had to tell him, Dean and Dean alone.

"Thanks Sam, I just... I just need time to work through it all, you know?" I asked with a soft sad smile.

"Ok, just... I'm here." Sam said giving me a small hug.

* * *

><p>A little later we changed into the suits and headed to the crime scene. Bobby had given us the lead and we checked it out. We climbed out of the car and I clocked Sam, rubbing his finger over the cut on his left hand. I noticed it a few time now, I figured it was the way he kept the voices in his head quiet. If it worked for him, I wasn't about to mention it. I just made a mental note of it, just in case.<p>

"Feels wonky." Dean suddenly said snapping both me and Sam out of our respective little worlds. I turned to Dean and he was looking at the crime scene.

"What?" Sam asked confused as Dean looked over at the cops and tape.

"Working a regular job." Dean admitted plainly.

"Bobby'll call if anything flares up on the Leviathan front. In the meantime, you know you want to work this case, Dean. Cop on the wire sounded dumbfounded." Sam explained giving me a glance. It had been true. Dean had practically dragged us to the hunt after Bobby gave us the lead. I think it was because he was hoping that keeping himself busy would help him forget killing. Not that he could tell Sam that. He had used some lame excuse of wanting to actual kill something.

"No arguments. It's kind of nice, you know? We're due for a little cut and dry. And, uh..." Dean said as we reached the tape line and flashed our badges. The cop held up the tape so that we could walk under it. "You seem good." Dean added glancing at Sam.

"I am. For me. By the way... Thank you." Sam said stopping Dean and me.

"For?" Dean asked confused.

"Amy. I know you didn't want to let her go, but it was the right thing to do. So, thanks." Sam said with a small nod before heading into the building.

"No problem." Dean sighed and I turned to him as Sam walked away.

"Dick." I muttered, shoulder barging him as I headed towards the building.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." Dean said with a sarcastic smile before we both headed up into the building.

* * *

><p>We went up to the building and flashed our badges again before walking into the actual crime scene. There was a whole in the hallway wall with blood on. It looked like something big had crashed into it.<p>

"Welcome to Crazytown, population- one dead guy." The detective said as he took some notes.

"Who was he?" I asked looking at the mess.

"Uh, Matthew Hammond. Seems to have been crushed to death." The detective replied reading from a note book.

"By?" Dean asked as we looked at the whole in the wall.

"Well, if we weren't on the tenth floor, I'd say by a car." The detective replied plainly. We walked into the man apartment and Sam pulled out the EMF reader. It started to go nuts as we looked around the place.

"It's going crazy." Sam said softly to us.

"Some kind of ghost?" Dean asked, both me and Sam shrugged. We continued to look around the place when Dean added a bad joke. "With a license? License to kill." He smirked at me and Sam.

"Seriously?" Sam asked as I noticed something on the floor. I bobbed down and picked it up, rubbing it through my fingers.

"Weird." I said softly, looking at the red clay kind of soil in my fingers.

"What do you got?" Dean asked as the pair walked over to me. Sam bobbed down and picked up some as well.

"Looks like some kind of powder." Sam said glancing to me.

"Sulphur?" Dean asked confused.

"No. Just red soil..." I said brushing my hands on my trousers as I stood up. Sam stood up again and sighed.

"Could be _Christine _-like." Sam suggested looking at me.

"Ugh. Even possessed cars can't do stairs. It's something spectral." Dean said fishing around in a key bowl. He picked up a token and looked at it. "Check this out. _AA, 10 years._ Dead and sober." Dean commented tossing the token to Sam. "Double crappy."

"Yeah, only you would think sobriety is crappy Dean." I sighed as Sam turned to look at some papers. Dean pulled a face at me and I shook my head, looking around the guys house.

"There's a charge keeps coming up. 50 bucks a month at a place called Jane's. All right. Congrats on your sobriety." Sam commented tossing the token back to Dean. "I'll go find out what Jane's is. You two go check it out."

"I gave up AA for Lent." Dean said with a nervous grin.

"We're not Catholic." Sam said plainly.

"Megan is though." Dean said quickly. "I adopted her religion when we married."

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't count since we're... um separated." I added and Dean frowned at me.

"Always with the details. AA gives me the jeebs." Dean said looking from me to Sam.

"Wow. Shocker." Sam said sarcastically and I hid a small smile.

"Shut up." Dean replied tossing the token to me.

"Fine. We'll hit the meeting, you go hit on Jane." Sam said passing Dean the papers.

* * *

><p>We left Dean to go find out about the flowers and we headed to the AA meeting. We found the outreach centre and found someone to talk to about Matt Hammond.<p>

"Matt was a nice guy. Kind of a tortured soul. Join the club. But he just seemed to have a lot going on." The woman explained to us.

"Any idea what it was? Family, a girl?" Sam asked throwing her the puppy dog look. I swear that man could turn it on like a switch.

"He played it all pretty close to the vest. Something was eating at him, though, the last time I saw him. He almost slipped." She admitted glancing at me.

"When was this?" I asked softly.

"Just before he died, I guess. Called me from Neal's Tavern. Said he was an inch away from drinking. So I ran over, talked him off the ledge." The woman explained.

"Well, do you know what triggered it?" Sam asked throwing the puppy dog look again.

"Like I said, he didn't share much." The woman explained sadly. We got all the information we could out of her and left. We walked back to the motel and the talk went from the hunt to me and Dean.

"You know he's just been trying to protect you." Sam said as we walked. I sighed hiding a small sarcastic laugh.

"Protect me. Yeah, I hear Dean does a lot of protecting." I muttered looking out to the traffic as we walked.

"He just likes to keep an eye out on people." Sam said plainly.

"Sam, I know he's your brother. I know I'm meant to have this uber complicated relationship with him and all... but..." I sighed pulling my hair out of its ponytail and letting it fall down onto my shoulders. "I gotta admit. If I met you guys today... I would just walk away." I admitted softly.

"Walk away? Why?" Sam asked confused. I smiled at him and shook my head.

"Dean is just this bitter, drunk, pissed off dude. He seems to be... there seems to be a lot going on with him." I said and bit my lip. "He's just... I don't know. Then your not exactly the picture of mental health. I just would probably move onto the next hunt if I didn't feel like I need to stick around."

"No one is making you stick around Megan." Sam said throwing me the puppy dog eyes. My stomach rolled and I tried not to groan. _Yeah but when you find out what Dean's done. Your going to need someone to talk to..._

"I get this feeling. It's like.. it's like the feeling has been drilled into me. I _have_ to stay. I _have_ to try to protect you guys. I know crazy..." I said looking up at Sam. He smiled at me and shook his head.

"It's not crazy at all." Sam said with a laugh. "You, when you first met Dean. You were sent by Cass to protect him. Us."

"Protect you guys? The angel dude sent me to protect you?" I asked with amusement in my voice.

"No word of a lie." Sam said holding up his hand.

"Why? I mean... Why?" I asked with a smile.

"It's a very _long_ story." Sam laughed. "I'll tell you about it after the hunt."

* * *

><p>We got back to the motel and changed back into our normal clothes. Dean came back not long after us and told us who the flowers were sent to. It was a graveyard just outside of town. That night we went to check it out. We walked through the graveyard with flash lights looking for the grave of Elizabeth Duren. The place was horror movie classic creepy, with extra fog for effect. I walked past grave after grave reading the names. It was the first time I had really been in a grave yard since I remembered some things.<p>

"Sam?" I asked softly.

"Yeah?" He asked walking over to me.

"Do you know if, um, my family have a grave somewhere?" I asked softly, looking at the graves around us.

"Oh, um..." Sam looked from me to Dean. Dean was pretending not to pay attention. "Dean?" Sam asked softly.

"You found it?" Dean asked looking up from a grave.

"No, um Meg wants to know if her parents have a grave." Sam said throwing me the damn puppy dog look for a second. Dean cleared his throat and walked over to me. Sam took it as a queue to keep looking at the grave stones.

"You told me, um, you're friend Karl, his parents took care of it all. Back in England, they've got a grave, yeah." Dean said softly, messing with his flash light nervously. I took a deep breath, knowing there was somewhere I could go. Say a goodbye, it lifted a small weight off of my shoulders. "Karl's buried back in South Dakota, near Bobby's." Dean added glancing into my eyes. I took a sharp breath in and Dean reached out to me, but stopped short pulling his hand back.

"Thanks Dean." I said softly, looking down and letting the breath out slowly. It was a kind of uneasy truce we called in that moment. Dean nodded and went back to looking at the grave stones. We looked for another ten minutes when Dean spoke up.

"Here we go. Meet Elizabeth Duren." Dean said pointing his flash light to a grave with fresh flowers on it. Me and Sam walked over to the grave and I bobbed down to check the soil.

"Died at 10. Wow. So, who was she?" Sam asked reading the head stone.

"I don't know. Why don't we chew on it back at the motel?" Dean asked looking at the pair of us.

* * *

><p>We headed back to the motel and Sam looked up the local news archives on his laptop as Dean sat on the small couch drinking a beer. I sat at the table next to Sam, reading the screen.<br>"Elizabeth Duren. Killed 10 years ago when a neighbour backed out of his driveway. Didn't see her bike. No one was ever charged. Police ruled it an accident." Sam said and shrugged.

"Let me guess. The neighbour's our tenth-floor pancake." Dean asked already knowing the answer.

"Got it in one." I answered softly.

"At least we know he felt bad. I mean, the flowers..." Sam said with a sad look on his face.

"Kind of makes you wonder if the guy wasn't drunk when he ran her over." Dean asked looking at the beer in his hands before taking a drink of it. Sam watched Dean then glanced at me. We had both picked up on the fact Dean was drinking more, only I knew why.  
>"Yeah. All right. Well, regardless, now that we got a decent bead on ghost rider, let's go." Sam said plainly.<p>

"What?" Dean asked looking at us confused.

"Burn her bones. Put her to rest." Sam explained slowly as we stood up.

"The fun never stops." Dean said sarcastically getting to his feet. We went back to the grave yard while it was still dark and dug up the grave. We did the salt and burn and re-buried the body.

* * *

><p>By the time we got back to the motel it was day light. I was tired, Dean was tired and Sam was tired but got a coffee. All I wanted was a quick shower and a power nap, then I would be ready for the day. We walked into the room and Sam was reading a newspaper.<p>

"Oh, another night at the office." Dean groaned softly and turned to me. "Why don't you take the first shower?"

"Thanks man." I said with a soft smile, walking towards the bathroom door when Sam spoke.

"Listen to this. _A local man, Christopher Fisher, was ripped to shreds in a wild animal attack last night_." Sam read from the newspaper. I glanced at Dean with an unimpressed look on my face. We both knew Sam was getting at something that would most likely be work.

"It is a dangerous world out there." Dean joked, taking his jacket off and flopping backwards on the bed. Sam sat at the table as I pealed off my jacket and hung it over the chair at the table.  
>"He was in the rest room of a diner." Sam added. Dean instantly sat back up again.<p>

"Yeah, that doesn't sound right." Dean said with a sigh.

"Apparently, uh, none of the patrons saw anything. Guy calls 911, screaming about a dog, but the operator didn't hear anything, either." Sam said and then pulled his laptop over to himself, typing something in. "Wow. Looks like this guy had a history with dogs."

"Meaning?" I asked plainly, running a hand over my face. I resigned to the fact I wasn't going to get my shower or nap any time soon.

"Five years ago, he was arrested for running a dog-fighting operation." Sam explained as Sam got up and walked over to my side.

"Classy. All right. So, what? He causes so much misery that some Rottweiler goes Cujo on him from beyond the grave? Wait a second. Do... do dogs even have ghosts?" Dean asked us.

"Umm.." I said with a shrug turning to Sam.

"First I've heard of it." Sam admitted.

"That sounds weird. Ghost dog?" Dean asked.

"No weirder than ghost car, you know?" Sam added with a shrug of his own.

"You know what does make sense? Vengeance on the guy that Michael Vick'd you. I mean, I'm no one to judge, but it sounds to me like that guy had it coming." Dean stated plainly.

"Maybe... But maybe not. So, he got busted, got probation, started volunteering at an animal shelter." Sam said looking at his laptop.

"Yeah, 'cause he had to." Dean scoffed.

"At first, yeah. But he kept going long after he served his time. Looks like he got really into it. Raised a lot of money for the cause." Sam explained, showing us an article titled "Dog shelter thanks volunteers for efforts." I glanced at it, and it really did look like the guy turned his life around.

"Huh." Dean said reading the page too.

"People change." Sam stated and I glanced to Dean. Knowing too well he disagreed.

"Yeah, tell that to ghost dog." Dean said sarcastically walking away from the table and rubbing his lower back.  
>"All right. Uh, get suited up. Let's go check out the body." Sam said looking at me with a quick smile. I rolled my eyes and groaned a little.<p>

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"What?" Sam asked confused to Dean's confusion.

"What?" Dean asked turning to Sam. "What?"

"Nothing. I... You okay?" Sam asked worried, his eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"Peachy. Yeah, let's do this." Dean said sarcastically, giving us both the sarcastic smile too.

* * *

><p>We got suited and booted and headed over to the coroners office. I was tired and Dean was a little grumpy so we volunteered Sam to go inside and get the info for us. Me and Dean lent against the Impala waiting for him to get back. We lent against the car in silence for a few minutes after Sam walked in.<p>

"How you doing?" I asked breaking the silence with a question I didn't realise I had asked until the words left my mouth. Dean blinked and turned to me slightly confused.

"I'm just fine." He said sarcastically.

"Dean, I, I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I just... Sam's worried about you. But if you want to be a dick. Knock yourself out." I said with a shrug and looked forward again. Dean sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"I'm just tired." He said softly and I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

"Just tired? Nothing else?" I asked softly.

"What are you getting at? Amy?" Dean asked me softly, turning to face me. I pushed away from the car and turned to face him too.

"Well yeah. Its obvious to anyone with all the info. You're feeling guilty about it. About lying to Sam." I said softly. Dean let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Thank you Dr. Phil." He said shaking his head. I frowned at him and shook my head.

"You know, you are such a dick at times Winchester. I mean, I... I'm trying here. You know? You're the one who lied to me about killing people. You should be trying to make this better." I said waving a finger between me and him. "But instead, no, not Dean Winchester. He'd much more drink and bury the guilt deep down." I said bitterly.

"Yeah well you have your way of coping. I have mine." Dean huffed folding his arms over his chest and leaning back on the Impala. We stayed like that, both stewing until Sam walked out with news.  
>"So, guess what I found. Red dirt. Under his nails. On his shoes, too." Sam explained with a small smile.<p>

"Just like the, uh, car-crash guy's floor?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah. So, gotta be some place around here they both walked." Sam said with a small smile. We went back to the motel and changed. Sam wanted to get right on it, so made us leave, without any rest.

* * *

><p>We climbed into the Impala and Dean started to drive us while Sam checked out where the soil could have come from. I sat in the back throwing ideas out to Sam as he looked.<p>

"An apple farm?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah. Apparently what ever's in red dirt makes great apples." Sam explained.

"Wow. I'd be so interested in that if I ate apples." Dean said sarcastically with a sarcastic grin to Sam. In return, Sam just shook his head.

"So this one's supposed to be pretty old, uh, mostly abandoned. Few hundred acres." Sam explained.

"What?" I whined a little. I still hadn't shower or slept and I really needed coffee or something.

"A few hundred? We're gonna be searching all year." Dean whined as well as we glanced at Sam.

"Look out!" I yelled as a greying African American man ran out into the road holding his arms out to get the car to stop.

"Whoa!" Dean yelled as he slammed on the breaks, making the car stop just in front of the man. We all climbed out of the car fast to check on the man.  
>"Hey. Uh...You okay?" Sam asked worried. The man looked scared to me.<p>

"Guy just jumped in front of a car, Sam." Dean said dryly.

"You want some help, sir?" I asked softly. The man was bent over breathing hard. It looked like he had been running fast.  
>"Okay, well, why don't we get you out of here before you get road killed, huh?" Dean asked ushering the man into the Impala.<p>

"Yeah." The man replied panting.

* * *

><p>We went back to the motel and got the man in our room. He was still pretty shaken up by something. Sam passed the man a glass of water and came and sat next to me on the edge of the table.<br>"So, Warren. Just, uh, take a minute. Tell us what's going on." Sam said with a soft reassuring smile.

"Look- you're good people, I can see that, but you can't do anything for me. No one can." Warren said shaking his head a little.

"Why not?" Dean asked confused.

"Cause it's all impossible. You won't even believe me." Warren said shaking his head more.

"Well, try us." I said with a reassuring smile of my own. Warren took a moment, glancing at all of us and spoke again.

"I was just put on trial and sentenced to death." Warren said softly.

"What'd you do?" Dean asked confused.

"Held up a liquor store. I killed the owner and his wife. I wasn't thinking. I was young." Warren said plainly.

"Young? When was this?" Dean asked just as confused as the rest of us.

"1981." Warren stated.

"And they just put you on trial?" Dean asked shocked.

"No, no, I just got out of prison." Warren explained.

"Okay, you're making less sense the more you talk." Dean said getting up from the chair. Sam got up, holding his hand out, making Dean stop.  
>"No, it's okay. Just...Go on." Sam said to Warren.<p>

"Did 30 years. I just got paroled. Not that you're ever free of that. I think about it every day." Warren said showing how guilty he was really feeling.

"So, then, what were you running from?" I asked softly.

"Well, I told you- the trial! All I know is, one minute I'm at the bar, and the next, I get jumped, wake up in a damn courtroom." Warren said getting worked up. I turned to the guys utterly confused.

"Courtroom? Like a... courtroom?" Dean asked miming a courtroom.

"Well, no. There was a judge. Everything was crazy. It was in a barn." Warren explained.

"At the apple farm?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." Warren nodded as I got up and glanced at the guys.

"And this bar where you were grabbed?" Sam asked.

"Neal's Tavern." Warren explained.

"Same place Matthew Hammond went before his... car accident. Think maybe dog guy went there, too?" Sam asked me and Dean.

"I'd bet on it." I replied as Dean watched us.

"Is there anything else you can tell us?" Sam asked Warren.

"You believe me? Who the hell are you?" Warren asked looking at us like we were insane.

"We kind of... specialize in crazy. So, uh, this judge- he got a name?" Sam asked plainly.

"No. But there was these weird symbols." Warren said confused.

"Symbols? Do you remember any of 'em? Can you draw them?" Sam asked passing Warren a pad and a pen.

"Excuse us a sec." Dean said stepping to my side. "Can I talk to you two?" Dean asked nodding to the door.

* * *

><p>We fallowed Dean out onto the busy street to talk. Dean looked worked up about this case I think. Although lately, he could have been worked up about a lot of things.<p>

"What is it?" Sam asked as Dean turned to us.

"_What is it? _Sam, uh... How about a drunk driver, Michael Vick, a murderer?" Dean asked waving his hand towards the motel.

"And?" Sam asked plainly.

"And... when did our black-and-white case turn to mud? I'm just saying I'm having a hard time not rooting for the ghosts on this one." Dean said shaking his head.

"No, you said it yourself- it's not on us to judge." Sam said firmly.

"Yeah, except that that's complete crap. Everybody judges all day long. Look, I'm just supposed to ignore what that guy did?" Dean asked catching my eye for a second before looking to Sam.

"We've shot people, Dean- more than two." Sam said plainly.

"Yeah, you know what? When those ghosts come to kick my ass, they've got a compelling case." Dean scoffed.

"So, what, you're saying- what? You don't want to work the job any more?" Sam asked confused.

"I'm just saying, you know, one simple friggin' day on the job- is that too much to ask?" Dean asked almost pleading with us.

"Well, look. I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna go try and find that barn. You coming?" Sam asked me and Dean.

"Sure, I'm in." I sighed, running a hand over my face.

"I'm gonna check the bar." Dean said turning to walk off.

"To work or drink?" Sam asked and Dean paused, turning back to us.

"I haven't decided." Dean said throwing his arms in the air before walking away.

"Awesome. Shall we?" I asked looking back at the motel.

* * *

><p>We went back into the motel and Warren noticed we were a man down. He looked worried.<p>

"What's going on? Where'd he go?" Warren asked pointing to the door.

"He, uh... Everything's fine." Sam said glancing back at me. "Look, let's go back to that farm."

"Oh, no, no. No, I'm not going back." Warren said shaking his head and backing away from the door.

"Warren, I need your help finding that barn." Sam pleaded with him.

"It's red- it stands out. I'm not going back. They're out there." Warren said firmly.

"Who?" I asked softly.

"The people I killed. I just- no. No!" Warren stated.

"You're safer with us than not." Sam tried to make Warren see.

"No." Warren said firmly. Sam let out an annoyed sighed.

"Okay." Sam said grabbing the paper out of Warrens hand. "Fine. Plan B." Sam said looking at me.

"We had a plan B?" I asked confused.

"Yeah." Sam said grabbing the salt. "You." He added making a salt circle around where Warren was sat.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate plan B's?" I asked shaking my head a little.

"I need you to stay inside this circle until I get back, okay? It'll protect you, and Megan will fight off the ghosts." Sam explained to Warren.

"How?" Warren asked confused.

"Just trust me, okay? We're trying to help." Sam sighed turning on the TV and passing him the remote. "Stay put." Sam added as we walked to the door.

"Are you going to be ok to go alone?" I asked glancing at Warren who was watching us.

"You need to protect him, and I need to get to the barn, figure out what's happening round here." Sam sighed softly.

"I could kill your brother sometimes." I groaned softly.

"I know. Me too." Sam said with a small smile.

"Be careful." I said softly as Sam pulled out his phone and nodded, walking out of the room. I turned back to Warren and smiled.

"Hey, mind drawing me those symbols?" I asked clapping my hands together.

* * *

><p>Thankfully Warren drew me the symbols again and I started to search them up on Sam's laptop. Warren sat in the chair watching some random crap on the TV. I didn't mind as long as we could keep him safe. I sat typing away when my phone rang.<p>

"O'Connor." I stated, resting my phone between my ear and shoulder as I typed.

"_Girl, I found those symbols. Sam asked me to fill you in._" Bobby said and I smiled softly to myself.

"Well thanks Bobby. I kinda got the Egyptian thing, I was thinking... Ra, Horus or Osiris, not sure which though." I said reading the page I had up.

"_You're good at this. It's the 'Book Of The Dead'._" Bobby confirmed.

"Well it was my area of study at Uni." I said with a small laugh. "Um... So does that make it Osiris?" I asked biting my bottom lip. Egyptian Gods weren't my strong suit, but when I was younger I did find them fascinating. I was such a nerd as a child.

"_Bingo! The God Osiris. Real authoritarian type. He gets a hold of you, he's judge, jury, and executioner. Lore says that he can see directly into the human heart. He weighs the guilt. If he finds more than a feather's worth- boom, you're done._" Bobby explained and I nodded running a hand over my face.

"Awesome." I groaned, I glanced at Warren and thankfully he wasn't paying any attention to me. He was too busy watching Dr Sexy M.D.

"_Yeah, you know what it means right?_" Bobby asked plainly and I ran a hand over my face again, trying to shake the feeling in my gut. It was really becoming a long arse day.

"Sam, Dean, me. We are all soft targets to Osiris... This is just..." I groaned again. "We've split up too. Dean's checking out a lead, Sam's looking for the courtroom and I'm baby sitting our only witness." I sighed with a sarcastic chuckle.

"_Well you need to get the guys and get out of town asap._" Bobby said with a gruff sigh.

"Hello, have you met the Winchesters?" I asked plainly shaking my head as I herd Bobby laugh.

"_I know girl. Just try and stay safe. I'll keep digging, see what I can find._" Bobby replied softly.

"Thanks Bobby." I sighed and hung up. Resting my head on the table with a thud. Warren turned in his chair and looked at me.

"Told you, you cant help me." Warren said plainly. I looked up from the table and smiled.

"Just, give us a little time. We will figure this all out." I sighed softly. _Somehow... god knows how... but we might figure it out in time... maybe...or not._

* * *

><p>A little later, I checked my shot gun had salt rounds and I started to pace around the room flipping my knife in one hand catching it. I pulled my phone out and tried to call both Sam and Dean, not getting an answer for the third time.<p>

"So, you guys are in trouble with Osiris now I'm guessing. I swear to god you guys drive me freaking insane. Call me." I said putting my phone away. I grunted throwing the knife higher and catching it with one hand.

"No offence, but aren't you just a little too..." Warren waved his hand at me and I stopped holding the knife in my hand, raising my eye brow. "Too small to protect me?"

"Size isn't everything." I smirked. "I've been hunting things since I was little. I can handle the ghosts don't worry."

"Yeah well I still would rather have Sam here." Warren muttered as I rolled my eyes and went back to pacing.

"You and me both mate." I muttered under my breath. Suddenly the TV started to flicker and the lights joined in. The room got cold and I knew we had visitors.

"Sam?" Warren asked standing up, looking around terrified.

"Stay down!" I barked at him pulling my shot gun out and looking around the room.

"But-" Warren said arguing with me.

"Warren!" I snapped as two ghosts appeared. There was a woman and man, I presumed they were the ones who Warren killed.

"It's, it's them!" Warren cried out. Backing away from the ghosts, breaking the salt circle.

"Damn it!" I growled shooting at the ghosts making them disappear for a few seconds. I raced to the salt and grabbed it, tossing it to Warren.

"What am I meant to do with this?" He cried out as I reloaded the shot gun.

"Make a damn circle and stay inside it this time!" I growled. Warren started to pour the salt when the ghost's came back.

"Megan!" Warren cried, freezing to the spot.

"The salt! Now!" I barked and the ghosts turned to me.

"This has nothing to do with you." The man said plainly. I cocked the shot gun and shrugged.

"Sorry guys, but I can't let you kill him." I said aiming at the pair again. The man waved his hand out to me sending me flying through the air and crashing into the wall by Warren. I landed with a bad thud and was dazed.

"Megan, you ok?" Warren shouted to me. I groaned pushing myself up onto my feet and looked around for my shot gun.

"I freaking hate today." I muttered to myself then saw the shotgun across the room. "Just... get the salt in place and stay inside-"

* * *

><p>I blinked and the next thing I knew I was in a barn. Sam and Dean were sat at a table looking as surprised as I did. There was a man dressed up in a chair with a staff talking and I had no idea what the hell was happening.<p>

"Next witness! The prosecution calls... Megan O'Connor to the stand." The guy, who I figured was Osiris said pointing to the chair that was just in front of me.

"Come again?" I asked looking around.

"The chair, sit." Osiris said as I looked at the guys for help. Sam just nodded his head to the chair, so I went and sat down. "Now please state your name for the record."

"Megan O'Connor." I said looking at Osiris confused.

"And what is your occupation Megan?" He asked smugly.

"Hunter." I replied plainly.

"Now Megan, isn't it true, you work with Dean Winchester." Osiris asked.

"Yeah... and Sam." I answered.

"Megan, how did you meet Dean?" Osiris asked.

"I don't know... I don't remember." I answered and he frowned slightly. He stared at me for a few seconds and then sighed.

"Oh I see, you don't remember anything..." Osiris said and nodded. "Are your parents alive?"

"No." I said softly, looking to the floor.

"Do you know how they died?" He asked me.

"No." I said softly.

"For the court, I am refreshing the witnesses memory." Osiris said clicking his fingers. Suddenly a shooting pain burnt into my brain as a memory flashed into my mind...

_I was dazed, beat and bloody. My body was in all kinds of hurt and the human blood forced down my throat was kicking in. But I had to keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't let this bastard know I was there to protect Dean. Not for anything. I opened my eyes and let out and unholy growl. Alistair was stood there smiling at me._

_"Good, good. Glad to see you liked the blood my little pet. Now, back to the matter in hand." He said walking towards me with a silver blade. I pulled on the chains but I couldn't break free. I let out another growl. "Now, what are you protecting?" He asked stopping a foot away from me.  
><em>_"I told you!" I growled, the blood was a kick to my system that I never felt before. "I am not protecting ANYONE!" I growled feeling the rush the blood was giving me.  
><em>_"You know the amazing thing about human blood," Alistair said walking up to me. "It's so good at making a werewolf feel strong and powerful. But it's dirty little secret, it's dark side you may say is," He plunged the blade into my stomach and a whole new world of pain hit me. It was nothing like I had felt before I screamed and growled and tears ran down my cheeks. "It makes silver ten times more painful." Alistair said smiling. "What are you protecting?"  
><em>_"Oh god, oh god..." I said trying to fight past a pain so bad it made me want to die. I had to keep my mouth shut. I had to protect Dean. I had to, it was given to me by God to protect him. "I'm... not... nothing." Was the only words I could speak through the pain.  
><em>_"What a shame," Alistair said pulling the blade out. "I was so hoping I wouldn't have to tell you this." He grinned at me. "I've killed your family, I slit your mother throat in front of daddy dear, then snapped your little brother's neck and finally ripped your fathers heart out and chopped his head off. Oh he pleaded for your family, wanted them to be safe so much, shame he wasn't more of a man. He should of taken it more gracefully." Alistair said arrogantly._

"Arh! Damn it!" I growled, my hands covering my stomach for a few moments it had all felt so real. All the pain was so real and screaming through my body.

"Megan!" Both Sam and Dean shouted at the same time.

"Silence in the court!" Osiris yelled at the pair. I took a couple of quick deep breaths as I opened my eyes and instantly met Deans. I couldn't believe it. I had let my family die, to protect him._ I let my family die... for you..._

"Now, how did your family die?" Osiris asked me. I looked at Osiris and paused, finding the right words to say.

"A demon killed them." I said looking down. I knew what he wanted me to say, but I refused to give in.

"Why?" He asked. I shook my head. "Answer the question."

"Because I wouldn't tell him something." I said looking at Dean. I could see all the guilt in his eyes. I felt my grief washing over me as the memories settled into my mind.

"What wouldn't you tell the demon?" Osiris asked. I looked from Dean to Osiris and back again. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I brushed it away.

"Dean I'm sorry-" I started to say when Osiris slammed his staff down.

"Answer." He barked.

"I... I wouldn't tell him who I was protecting." I said softly, turning to the God.

"And that was Dean?" Osiris asked.

"Yes." I said barely above a whisper.

"So, it could be fair to say your family died because of Dean." Osiris stated. I took a deep breath and put my head up.

"It's one way of looking at it. Another is I have free will. I chose not to say anything." I said trying to defend Dean. Osiris smiled a little at me. He was enjoying it.

"Very well. Let me ask you something else then." He asked leaning forward in his chair. "Tell the court what you planned to do when you first came to America, before meeting Dean." I took a deep breath and looked over at Sam and Dean.

"I came because my family knew something big was going to happen. End of the world big. I came over to study, get connections." I stated.

"What about Karl Moore?" Osiris asked and I stiffened. His name sent a cold shiver down my spine.

"He... he was my best friend." I said trying to keep my voice neutral.

"He was more than that though. Isn't it true to say Karl was your first true love, that in fact he was going to move over here and the pair of you were going to elope?" Osiris asked.

"Yeah, yeah we were, but things change." I said firmly. I saw Dean shuffle slightly in his chair. I don't think I ever told him about Karl and how close we really were.

"He died, didn't he?" Osiris asked.

"You know that." I said firmly, trying to keep my grief in check.

"How?" Osiris asked.

"I don't remember." I said glaring at Osiris.

"Let me help you remember." Osiris said clicking his fingers again. Yet again another burning pain shot through my mind as I remembered Karl's death...

_"Well isn't that sweet." Alistair said getting to his feet. "Little Dean Winchester is going to try and protect a monster."  
><em>_"Screw you Alistair." Dean shouted swinging at him with his knife. I reached them as Alistair took the knife out of Dean's hands and threw it in the opposite direction. He grabbed both of us by the throats and started to squeeze.  
><em>_"How easier my life will be without you too in it." He mocked as I teared at his fingers.  
><em>_Suddenly a shot rang out and both Dean and I were on the floor grasping for breath. I looked up and saw Karl there holding a hand gun.  
><em>_"NO!" I screamed as Alistair waved his hand and broke Karl's neck. I ran over to him catching him as he fell. His eyes were a cold blue, an empty hollow blue. He was already starting to feel cold. I shook my head fighting not to cry. Karl was my best friend, the first guy I kissed, the first guy I slept with, the first guy I hunted with and now he was dead in my arms. This was far from right._

The pain dulled again and tears rolled down my cheeks as I sobbed softly. My body shook with the fresh and horrific memory of Karl saving my life. I wiped my cheeks and looked over to Dean. He was nearly in tears as well.

"How did Karl die?" Osiris asked. I turned to him and growled slightly, balling my hands into fists.

"I am not going to answer you." I said threw grit teeth.

"You will answer, or I will hold you in contempt and make you answer." Osiris said glaring at me. "How did Karl Moore die?" I turned back to the guys and Sam nodded for me to answer. I took a deep breath and shook my head, it was wrong. This whole situation was wrong.

"He... he died saving my life." I said softly.

"And why were you in that situation? Was it because you, yourself was putting your life on the line to protect Dean's? In fact, you have a history of giving your life to protect Dean, isn't that right?" Osiris asked.

"I'd give my life to save anyone if I thought it would help." I stated. I'd had enough of his games. I just wanted to leave.

"You're witness." Osiris said to Sam.

* * *

><p>Sam got up nervously and walked over to me, giving me a reassuring smile before clearing his throat.<p>

"Megan, you were married to Dean right?" Sam asked me.

"Yes." I replied plainly.

"And, this was after the deaths you experienced, right?" Sam asked me again. From what I had been told it had been.

"Yeah." I said softly.

"So, even though you don't remember, would it be safe to say, any responsibility you felt Dean had for those deaths had gone by the time you married?" Sam asked me.

"It's logical. Yes." I said with a firm nod.

"So you don't hold Dean guilty for those deaths?" Sam asked. I turned to Dean and looked at him. He looked so guilty it almost hurt to look at him.

"Every human being is only responsible for their actions. Not the ones of others. So no, Dean isn't to blame for those deaths." I stated looking Dean dead in the eyes.

"Very good Sam, very good." Osiris said and turned to me. "You're free to leave."

"I want to stay here." I said and walked over to the table Dean was chained to.

"Very well, interrupt though and I'll kill you." Osiris sighed. "My next witness, Sam Winchester." Osiris said as I took Sam's seat at the table. "Sam... Not exactly the life you expected, is it?"

"Details a little different." Sam replied with a shrug.

"For a while there, you were gonna be a real lawyer. Marry Jess." Osiris stated.

"Yeah, that was a long time ago." Sam shrugged again.

"But were you or were you not happily out of the family racket until Dean showed back up in that gas guzzler? Ah-ah. The truth, now." Osiris said giving Sam a knowing look.  
>"It's complicated." Sam said looking back at us.<p>

"That one act had quite a domino effect. Come back, your girl's dead." Osiris said waving his hand.

"Well, that wasn't his fault." Sam said looking at Dean.

"Sure, and neither is everything that came after- all the death and the blood and hanging on by a thread. None of that is on Dean, directly." Osiris said looking from Dean to Sam. "But don't you think that your brother dragged you back into that catastrophic mess because he'd rather damn you with him than be alone?" There was a long pause where Sam thought about the answer.

"No. One way or another, I'd have gotten pulled back in." Sam said with a nod.

"You know that for certain?" Osiris asked.

"Pretty sure." Sam replied.

"Pretty sure." Osiris said mocking Sam slightly.

"I'm positive." Sam said firmly.

"I believe you. Hey, if it was about convincing me, I would say..." Osiris said looking over at me and Dean.

"What?" Sam asked shocked.

"I don't decide anything, Sam. I don't decide Dean's guilt. I just weigh the guilt that's already there. This is solely about how Dean feels, way down deep. Them's the breaks." Osiris stated.

"Wait. So, if Dean believes he's innocent, then he is?" Sam asked turning to Osiris shocked.

"If. A big if. Why do I bring up the past? To see if he feels like dog food about it. People want to be judged. They really do. When your heart's heavy, let me tell you, real punishment's a mercy." Osiris replied looking over to Dean.

"I want to call Dean to the stand." Sam said firmly, looking over to us.

"Oh, you do, now? There is an order to this stuff, you know. Okay. I'll allow it." Osiris said turning from Sam to Dean and back again. He clicked his fingers and Dean's chains fell away. He went over and swapped seats with Sam.

"So, Dean. When you came and got me, did you know Jess would die? Or any of it?" Sam asked Dean plainly.

"'Course not." Dean replied plainly.

"Right. How could you? I mean, are you psychic?" Sam asked and Dean laughed. "That's a question." Sam added and I hid a smirk.

"No. Uh, definitely not psychic." Dean said shaking his head and glancing at Osiris.

"Great. So why would you feel guilty about not predicting the future?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I guess that doesn't make any sense. Actually, yeah, no, I don't." Dean replied shaking his head.

"What about Jo? Did you actually kill her?" Sam asked. I didn't know who Jo was but figured she meant something Dean by his reaction.

"Uh, no." Dean replied solemnly.

"Isn't it true that you don't feel guilty about her- that you're just...sad she's dead? That it just...blows?" Sam asked pacing in front of Dean.

"Actually... Maybe, yeah." Dean said looking at Osiris and back again.

"Mm-mm-mm. I like your style, Sam. Very engaging." Osiris said nodding slightly. Sam tried to ignore the God.

"Dean. Does any of this feel like it's really...on you?" Sam asked his big brother.

"Not really." Dean said shaking his head.

"Then is your heart heavy with guilt or just plain heavy and none of this guy's business?" Sam asked nodding to Osiris.

"Uh, what you said -the second thing." Dean said carefully.

"Then I rest my case." Sam said turning to Osiris.

"Very good... Both of you. All right. Because I really enjoyed that, I'm gonna be generous and ask - Dean, do you want me to call my last witness? Or have we had enough?" Osiris asked Dean. I could tell he was getting at Amy, and by how anxious Dean look, he knew too. Dean glanced at me for a second, his green eyes fixed directly on my own. I couldn't move, speak, do anything, his glaze froze me to the spot. Dean blinked and looked back to Osiris, sighing heavily.

"What the hell's he talking about?" Sam asked looking directly at Dean.

"Enough Ally McBealing. Just drop the hammer, will ya?" Dean asked ignoring his brother and looking purely at Osiris.

"Wait, Dean, he's giving us more time!" Sam cried out throwing his hands in the air.

"It's not gonna make a difference, Sam!" Dean snapped at his baby brother.

"You need another moment? You done?" Osiris asked looking at the pair. Dean turned, almost glaring at Osiris. He banged his staff down on the ground three times before getting up and address the court. "The court's reached a verdict. I find you, Dean Winchester, guilty in your heart... and sentence you to die." My heart stopped beating for a second. I couldn't believe it. "I'd suggest you get your affairs in order quickly." Osiris said turning to Dean.

* * *

><p>The car ride back to the motel was silent. Dean drove never taking his eyes off the road. Sam sat next to him, I could tell his mind was working a mile a minute trying to figure a way to save Dean. Me, I just sat in the back. Replaying the deaths of my family and best friend, over and over, and over again. I couldn't believe it. <em>I let them die... not Dean. Not the demon, me. I should have told them, warned them about it all. I... I should have told that bastard I was protecting Dean. I let him kill my family. They weren't even involved. Not by a long shot. Then Karl... Oh god Karl man I love you. I should never have let you hunt with me. You should never have been in that Church, you should never have met me. You'd still be alive now if it wasn't for me... <em>A tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped it away, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly as we pulled into the motel parking lot. There was police and crime scene tape everywhere as they pulled out a body stretcher with a black bag on top. We got into the room and I knew it was Warren in the bag.

"Damn it, I told him. What happened?" Sam asked turning to me.

"They came, knocked me around, broke the salt line. I told him to make a new one... but then I got served." I said looking at the room.

"Osiris would have got to him one way or another. Guy's batting a thousand." Dean added dryly closing the door behind us.

"There's still time. We can figure something out." Sam said walking over to his laptop and started to look things up. I called Bobby to see if we could find anything that could help. The hours went by and we were getting no where. Dean stood looking out of the window with a glass in his hand as Sam's phone rang.

"Bobby. What do you got?" Sam asked picking up on the second ring.

"_A way to give Osiris a dirt nap._" Bobby replied.

"Good. We need it." Sam replied nodding to me and Dean. I was sat on the edge of the bed, sipping on some coffee.  
>"<em>Now, as near as I can figure, it ought to put him down for a couple of centuries, at least. It's worked a few times since the Pharaohs were big.<em>" Bobby replied.

"So it's temporary?" Sam asked confused.

"_Long temporary. I say we slap that band-aid on and leave finding a cure to some hunter in a space suit. Now, you're gonna need to stab him with a ram's horn._" Bobby explained.

"A ram's horn? Where am I gonna find a ram's horn in Dearborn?" Sam asked looking utterly confused.

"_No clue. But make sure it's a sharp piece. He ain't gonna let you stab him twice._" Bobby replied.

"Yeah. Thanks." Sam said and hung up on Bobby. He went back to his laptop and started to type again. "Ram's horn. Ah... okay." Sam sighed as I walked over and saw that there was around 1,612 search results to go through. "Huh. Apparently, uh, Jewish people blow through them once a year." Sam said looking up at me and Dean.

"Where you gonna find one this time of night?" Dean asked walking over to us and checking his watch.

"Uh... synagogue?" Sam suggested.

"You're gonna steal from a temple? Well, that's a new low." Dean said shaking his head before drinking some more whiskey.

"You're on death row, Dean. Quit joking around. Here. Keys. I'll be back." Sam said getting up and holding his hand out to Dean.

"The dick's gonna sic Jo after me, Sam." Dean said plainly.

"You're a hunter, Dean. You know how to deal with ghosts." Sam replied as Dean gave him the keys for the Impala. Sam started to walk out of the room.

"So, you suggesting I kill her again?" Dean asked plainly. Sam stopped and turned back to us,

"You didn't kill her, Dean. I'll hurry." Sam said giving me a quick nod before leaving.

* * *

><p>Dean turned to me and just looked at me. It was a look I'd seen him give me in the court. A guilty look.<p>

"Yes?" I asked sitting back down at the table.

"You need to leave." Dean said plainly.

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Jo's gonna come for me. She might hurt you if you get in the way." Dean explained sitting down at the table next to me.

"A ghost. You want me to leave because of a ghost..." I said shaking my head. "God, your dumber that you look." I added and Dean looked at me surprised.

"Excuse me?" He asked shocked.

"Why would I leave you and let you die?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"I got your family killed. I got Karl killed." Dean said with so much guilt in his eyes.

"I think out of the two of us here, we both know I got them killed." I said sadly.

"You were-" Dean started to argue.

"Save it. I don't blame you, I blame myself." I stated and the room fell silent. We sat just drinking our respective drinks for a few minutes.

"I deserve to die." Dean stated breaking the silence.

"Why? Amy?" I asked confused.

"No, I've done a lot of wrong. More than you can imagine. I deserve this. Maybe it's my time." Dean suggested with a shrug.

"Maybe your just an idiot." I added with a shrug of my own.

"Thanks." Dean said sarcastically.

"Welcome." I added just as sarcastically. Dean got up from the table and groaned loudly.

"You know what? I just want to die in peace." Dean said turning to me. "Just... just get out of here."

"No." I said standing up.

"Get out of here!" Dean barked at me, throwing a hand to the door. "You wanted to stay away from me enough at the cabin! Not to mention you can't stand being around me, not after the Amy thing! Why don't you just run off now?"

"You want me to let you die?" I snapped back shaking my head.

"Yeah, I do!" Dean growled. I shook my head and laughed bitterly.

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" I asked balling my hands into fists. "You'd love the easy way out!"

"I'm tired of this!" Dean yelled at me. He grabbed my shoulders and backed me into the wall with a thud, holding me there. "I can't do this any more! I can't!"

"Do what? What can't you take any more? Sam with the crazy? Me and the memory? Bobby? The Leviathan? Castiel? What can't you take any more Dean?" I asked yelling back at him. He pushed me against the wall again.

"Everything! I can't deal with everything any more! I am sick of being on the wrong side of luck! I am sick of watching friends, family die! I am sick of having to drag my ass up every morning to fight the great fight! I'm sick of lying to Sam! I am sick of being around you!" He yelled the anger rolling off each word. I felt the rage build in myself and I pushed Dean away from me.

"Maybe I'm sick of you too Dean!" I growled pushing him back slightly. "You think your the only one who feels guilty here? I feel guilt of not remembering everything! And even more guilty for the things I do remember!"

"Then just go! Leave now!" Dean snapped at me.

"Fine! Die happy and alone Dean!" I snapped back storming out of the motel, banging the door as I left.

* * *

><p>I was so mad at Dean, so damn mad that I couldn't see clearly. He thought he was the guilty one, he thought he was the one with the heavy shoulders. He couldn't see he wasn't the only one. I walked to the nearest bar and decided to try and grab a drink and clear my mind. I sat at the bar and a blonde busty woman walked over to me with a smile.<p>

"What can I get you honey?" She asked resting against the bar.

"Umm... whiskey, neat. Make it a double." I said plainly. She nodded and fetched my drink.

"What's got you all twisted around, a man or work?" She asked bringing the bottle over as I downed the double in one mouthful.

"Men, isn't always?" I smirked as she poured me another.

"Ain't that the truth. I'm Mia by the way." She said as I drank the next one straight off too.

"Megan. Thanks Mia." I said tapping the glass on the bar.

"You might wanna take it easy there Megan." She said pouring me another one.

"I really don't." I sighed as someone came and sat down next to me. I glanced at it was Osiris.

"Water please." Osiris said to Mia, she nodded and walked off to grab his drink.

"Awesome, let me guess, I'm next on Judge Judy?" I said with a sarcastic smile.

"Megan, as soon as I put you on the stand, I saw your guilt. It almost matches Deans." He replied as Mia brought the water.

"Anything else?" She asked us.

"Just leave the bottle." I said passing her a fifty. She gave me a sad smile and walked off.

"You carry guilt over things you can't even remember." Osiris said sipping on his water.

"Well I'm just that kind of special." I said pouring myself another drink. "Mind if I finish this before we get to the courtroom?" I asked holding my glass.

"For you, I'll wait." Osiris smirked at me. I wanted to punch him in the face but I didn't think it really would help anything. I groaned and drank some more. I finished my drink and stood from the bar. I was definitely getting drunk, not there yet, but tipsy.

"Shall we?" I asked Osiris as he stood up too. I caught Mia watching us as we walked out. She looked slightly worried about us. I brushed it off and walked into the cold air of the night.

"I will give you a fair trial." Osiris said as we left the bar.

"Yeah, like you gave Dean..." I muttered.

"I mealy weigh the guilt in the heart." Osiris said pointing to a darkened alley.

"I know. But still kinda sucks... Let me die quickly, yeah?" I asked as we walked to the edge of the alley.

"Of course." Osiris said grabbing my arm and turning me to face him. His hand going over my mouth. I struggled a little on instinct and then saw his eyes flash a bright blue. Sam appeared behind him and pulled something out of his back. Osiris face turned to rotten flesh before he disintegrated on the floor. I swayed slightly on the spot as Sam looked at me panting slightly.

"We're gonna need to talk about this." Sam said firmly, taking my arm and pulling me back to the Impala.

* * *

><p>The next day we pulled up near a river to talk. The guys were resting next to the Impala drinking a beer each. I just stood near them, watching the water. Sam hadn't tried to talk to me yet and I was counting that as a small blessing.<br>"So, uh, it seem like... you know, like... she was in pain?" Sam asked, they had been talking about Jo and what happened.

"No. No, just kind of faded. Regular Jo. Actually, maybe a little happier." Dean said taking a sip of his beer. "I got a question. So where the hell did that come from, volunteering to defend me?" Dean asked smiling at his brother.

"He was gonna kick me out." Sam said with a shrug.

"I don't know, man in another life, you uh... you might have made a pretty decent scuzz bag." Dean joked and Sam laughed a little.

"I'm 0 for 1, Dean." Sam pointed out.

"Ah, it's not your fault. You were pretty convincing." Dean admitted.

"So, who was he talking about?" Sam asked glancing at me.

"Who?" Dean asked confused turning to his brother.

"That whole final witness thing." Sam asked.

"No idea. Honestly, that could be just about anybody dead we know. By the way... I mean, I get why Judge Judy put me on trial- I got guilt coming out of my pores. But...why'd he skip you two?" Dean asked looking at me and Sam. Sam hadn't told Dean yet about the little adventure with Osiris. He told Dean I was at the bar, trying to find a lead on him.

"I think I just don't... feel guilty any more." Sam said with a shrug.

"Come on." Dean sighed.

"Look, I don't know what to tell you, Dean. I mean, I've spent a lot of time feeling pretty crappy- like, my whole life." Sam explained.

"What, you got a secret stash of happy pills?" Dean asked shaking his head.

"Hell." Sam replied and we were both confused. "Look, I'm not saying it's logical. I just...you know, I feel like I did a lot of stuff I should have felt bad for, and then I paid a lot of dues and came out the other side, you know?" Sam explained.

"And that worked? I mean, you really feel like your, your slate's wiped?" Dean asked confused.

"No. Nothing ever gets wiped." Sam said as he walked to the passenger side of the Impala. "You know? Sometimes I see Lucifer when I friggin' brush my teeth, but, I don't know, I guess I just finally feel like... my past is my past, and I can move on with my life. You know, hopefully." Sam said softly.

"Easier said than done." Dean muttered.

"Not arguing that." Sam added.

"Well, I don't know whether to be, uh, jealous or weirded out." Dean said shaking his head again.

"You'll get used to it. I mean, I don't want to sound lame, but... I kind of feel good, Dean." Sam said with a smile.

"Well, you are going to be a pleasure to ride with." Dean said sarcastically before we all climbed into the Impala and Dean drove us away.

* * *

><p>Well I hope you guys enjoyed it. Please spend a few seconds just to write a quick review and let me know what you think! Thanks!<p> 


	6. Shut Up, Dr Phil

Ok well hello everyone! Did anyone catch the last ep? I was laughign so hard I cried my way through it! It was so epic! I loved it! Can't wait to reach that ep hehe! Ok well onwards...  
>Big shout out to the usual crew, Asya55, Klandgraf2007, xxjempa1112luvSPNxx, Sam and dean crazy ass wench, and for the constant reviews! Thanks guys!<br>*disclaimer in chpt 1*

* * *

><p><em>I was stood in a cemetery, the rain was beating down as it always seemed to do in places like that. Five grave stones were in front of me. I knelt into the damp grass and brushed away the weeds from each. My heart jumped into my throat as I looked at the names. First my parents, then my baby brother Doyle, my older brother Gethin and finally my best friend Karl. They had all died because of me. I knew it. I didn't need some ham acting God to tell me. As soon as I remembered, I knew. <em>

"_I'm so sorry guys... I'm sorry I forgot. I'm sorry I couldn't stop it." I wept at their graves._

"_You could never save anything. You could never stop anything." A voice said from behind me. I turned and saw Dean stood there, his jacket collar turned up, sheltering him from the rain. His hand stuffed into his pockets. He was stood in front of the Impala watching me. I stood up and wiped the tears away from my face. Not that you could tell in the weather if it was tears or just rain._

"_They died because of you and me." I said throwing a hand back to the graves._

"_They died because a demon took them from you. Not you and not me." Dean replied softly._

"_How can you say that?" I scoffed shaking my head slightly. A small smile crossed Deans lips and he shook his head looking down to the floor before looking back up at me._

"_You know, deep down, you know its the truth." Dean said watching me._

"_It's not the truth! I should have done something, anything to save them." I said walking over to Dean._

"_What could you really do Meg?" Dean asked and suddenly the world shifted. I was stood next to Dean in the church watching Alistair strangle the life out of me and Dean._

"_I don't want to see this!" I said turning to Dean. He grabbed hold of my shoulders and turned me, making me watch._

"_He was trying to save your life." Dean said as I watched Karl walk in and shoot Alistair without a moments hesitation._

"_I loved you so much, I couldn't let you die." Karl said, he was now stood behind me. Holding my shoulders. Tears stung as they rolled down my cheeks._

"_I let you die." I sobbed facing him. A sad smile crossed Karl's lips before he pulled me closer to him. He smelt just as I remembered. His hug was exactly the same as I remembered._

"_You never let anyone die sweetheart." My mother said as I pulled out of her arms. I blinked and I was stood in the warehouse. I watched as Alistair threw my beaten, bloody body to the floor and disappeared. I watched as Dean raced in, screaming my name. He raced over to my body and cradled it in his arms._

"_You gave everything you had. You fought every step of the way to keep them safe." Dean said appearing at my side again._

"_But it wasn't enough... I still let them die." I said turning and looking up at Dean._

"_You couldn't have stopped them dying." Dean said wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into a small hug. "They don't blame you. You shouldn't blame yourself." Dean said kissing my head as he held me close._

* * *

><p>I woke up with a start. I looked around the motel room and it took me a few moments to realise just where I was. I had booked into a motel room alone. After the fight with Dean, I really didn't want to share a room with him. I ran a hand over my face and let out a small groan. It was still early, I grabbed a quick shower and changed into some clean clothes. I made my way outside to grab some breakfast when Sam walked out of the room next to me. He was wearing running clothes.<p>

"You're up early." I said with a small smile.

"Just getting some exercise, wanna join me?" Sam asked hoping up and down on the spot to warm up. I looked at him unimpressed for a second and shook my head.

"No, you know what, I'm good." I smirked as we walked out of the motel parking lot. Sam laughed shaking his head at me.

"How are you feeling?" Sam asked with a small smile still on his face.

"I'm... fine." I shrugged.

"Fine? Really?" Sam asked giving me the unimpressed look.

"Look, I just... I need time to figure out all these new memories and emotions. It's all kinda crazy up here still." I said pointing to my temple.

"I know. But if you need to talk-" Sam said throwing me the puppy dog look.

"You're here. I know. Now go run..." I said shooing Sam away.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But seriously Meg, we should talk about it." Sam said grabbing hold of my hands.

"Sam, it's not as easy as a talk will fix everything." I said with a sad smile.

"It will help though." Sam said throwing the puppy dog eyes at me again. I groaned rolling my own eyes.

"Later, go run." I sighed softly.

"I'll catch you later." Sam smirked before jogging off.

"Not if I'm in a car." I muttered to myself as I walked to the nearest dinner and grabbed breakfast.

* * *

><p>After a nice warm breakfast and a few cups of tea I paid up and walked back to the motel. I decided to chance it and see if Sam was back in the room. I had been a good hour and expected him to be back. I walked over to the rooms and knocked on the door. I waited a few moments and then the door opened.<p>

"Megan." Dean said plainly.

"Sam back?" I asked with the same level of monotone.

"No." Dean said opening the door a little. "But I think I found a hunt."

"Yay! Killing things." I said slightly sarcastically walking into the room. Dean looked rougher than usual. He had circles around his eyes, and looked dead to the world. I walked over to the table where his laptop was set up, I noticed a bottle of whiskey and an empty glass on the table. I turned to Dean, resting on the back of one of the chairs. "You get any sleep?" I asked plainly.

"Did you?" Dean asked looking at me. I guess I looked as good as Dean did. I shrugged my shoulders and nodded a little.

"Enough to get me by." I admitted.

"Me too." Dean said with a nod. He walked past me and sat at the table, typing at a few keys.

"So this hunt?" I asked sitting down next to Dean. He pushed the laptop over to me and I scanned the page. "Second of two freaky deaths in two weeks, Prosperity, Indiana. Wendy Goodson, 36, resident of Prosperity, IN was burnt alive while having her hair done at her local hair dresser. Her charred remains indicate electrocution, yet investigators state there were no malfunctions to be found in the dryer or the electrical system of the salon. The electrical system was brand new and inspected recently by the city's building inspectors. Police is listing Goodson's death as accidental electrocution, however, there remains many questions to be answered. Goodwin's family is bereft and remains vigilant in demanding answers to her untimely death." I turned to Dean and he nodded to me.

"Told you, found a hunt." Dean said pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

"It could just be an accident." I sighed as I watched Dean drink the glass down in one shot.

"Or more likely it's a case. I thought you'd jump at the chance to kill something." Dean said watching me, watch him pour himself another shot.

"Why?" I asked plainly.

"Our big blow out. You were pissed at me." Dean said tilting the glass before drinking the shot off.

"You didn't want to be around me, yet here we are." I said with a small shrug.

"Good point. Maybe this hunt will do us both good." Dean suggested with a shrug.

"I doubt it." I sighed watching Sam room past the window. Dean poured himself the last of the whiskey out of the bottle as Sam walked into the room panting.

"Somebody better be chasing you." Dean said dryly.

"It's good for you." Sam said panting, he noticed me and I smiled at him.

"No. No, it's not good for you. Look at you. You're, you're a mess, and you stink. Well, while you were out being Lance Armstrong..." Dean stated as Sam went to the fridge and pulled out a sports drink.

"That would be biking." Sam muttered.

"...I was working. You ever heard of a town called Prosperity, Indiana?" Dean asked plainly.

"Has anybody?" Sam asked walking back over to us.

"We have." I said in a smart arse voice and Dean smirked. Sam rolled his eyes at me and sighed.

"Two of their fine citizens died over the past two weeks. Uh, this one chick, she, uh, roasted underneath one of those beehive hair dryers at the hair salon..." Dean said showing Sam the page I was just reading. He then hit another key and brought up another page.

"Residents of Prosperity Indiana are shocked at the deaths of one of their residents. Carl Dunlop, 42, of Prosperity IN, died in a hot tub from hypothermia. For unknown reasons, Carl was unable to get out of the seemingly normally functioning hot tub and was essentially cook alive inside the hot tub. Investigators having scoured the crime scene could find no mechanical failure or other causes for the bizarre accident. Carl's body indicated severe temperature rises but there was no mechanical justification for the death. Police concluded that there were no indications of foul play." I read out loud.

"...and this other guy boiled in a hot tub." Dean stated to Sam.

"You don't see a lot of that." Sam stated looking at me and Dean.

"No, you don't." Dean stated plainly.

"It's worth checking out." Sam said softly, and turned to get something.

"Yeah." Dean stated. I stood up as Sam turned back to face Dean.

"You know, one more thing. What's going on with you?" Sam asked.

"And that's my queue to leave." I said softly.

"We have had this conversation, Sam." Dean said almost glaring at his baby brother.

"No, we haven't. See, to do that, you'd have to, uh, sort of...speak." Sam said sarcastically. I tried to leave, but Sam was blocking the path.

"Okay, let's see if you can get this straight. See you're, you're new Sam, right, Lance Armstrong." Dean explained.

"Biking." Sam interrupted.

"And, uh, and I'm still me, okay? All right, so, so, you might see things different now, uh, call it a runner's high or some crap, but that doesn't mean that some thing's going on with me, okay?" Dean said firmly.

"Yeah, okay." Sam said looking at Dean.

"No, don't say, _yeah, okay_, like, _yeah, okay_." Dean said rolling his eyes at his baby brother. Sam nodded and walked away.

"Yeah, okay." Sam said in the same tone as Dean was getting out.

"Can you believe him?" Dean asked me. I threw my hands up.

"I'm leaving..." I said and made a quick exit.

* * *

><p>I had just finished packing up the last of my things when Sam walked into my room, his eyebrows frowning slightly. I sighed, sitting on the bed.<p>

"You think he's acting weird too, right?" Sam asked, stopping just short of me.

"Well yeah." I said standing up.

"Thank you!" Sam said with a softer expression on his face.

"But doesn't mean he can't deal with it." I shrugged.

"You're joking right?" Sam scoffed. "He's drinking himself to death."

"Sam, it's really not my business." I said plainly.

"How can you say that?" Sam asked confused.

"Easy. I don't care." I said coldly and Sam took a step back gasping almost.

"You don't care?" Sam asked confused.

"Look, I like you. But Dean... all I really remember about him. It isn't good things Sam. Then we had a fight. He doesn't want me around. Not really. And if I'm honest with myself. I have no idea what I'm doing staying? I could hunt alone. I don't know what's keeping me here." I explained softly.

"But, but your family." Sam said softly, throwing me the puppy dog eyes.

"I'm not. I don't remember you guys as my family." I said softly. _Plus family don't keep secrets from each other._ "I don't have any family. Bobby's probably the closest thing I have."

"Then what? What are you going to do?" Sam asked me.

"Well right now, do this hunt. But after this... I've been thinking of picking up my Camero from Bobby's and hitting the road alone." I explained. Ever since Dean said he didn't want me around. The idea of leaving the Winchesters, it really didn't sound so bad.

"You want to leave?" Sam asked confused.

"I can handle myself. Why not?" I asked.

"But Megan-" Sam started to say when Dean honked the Impala.

"Come on, let's get this hunt over with." I said picking up my bags.

"Are you even going to tell Dean?" Sam asked as I hitched my bag onto my shoulder.

"Probably not." I replied plainly.

* * *

><p>We hit the town and changed into the FBI suits. Sam dragged me along with him. I knew after we talked to the victims sister he would want to talk to me more about leaving. I was just hoping the case would be fast enough to keep us busy.<br>"I'm very sorry. I, I know this is a tough time to have to talk about all this." Sam said throwing Wendy's sister his puppy dog look.

"I've already been through it so many times with the lawyers, the police, the insurance guys." She explained looking from Sam to me.

"I know. We know. We just, we have to conduct our own separate investigation. I'm sorry. I know it's tough. Can I ask you, um, did your sister have any enemies?" I asked softly.

"Why do you ask that? You think her death wasn't accidental?" Wendy's sister asked us looking distressed.

"No. No, no, no. We just have to consider every possibility. Is there anyone who might have wanted to harm her?" Sam asked throwing her the puppy dog look again.

"You don't live here, so you don't know. Everyone...loved Wendy. She volunteered at the church. She ran a group for kids. I was the big sister, and I looked up to her." Wendy's sister admitted with a sob.

"What about this man who died Carl Dunlap? Did she know him?" I asked softly, glancing at Sam.  
>"I don't think so." Wendy's sister replied looking at me.<p>

"Well, Wendy was in real estate, right? Carl was an architect. Maybe they had some business dealings?" Sam suggested.

"If they had worked together, I would've heard the name. Agent Sambora... If someone did this to my sister, find out who." She said looking up at Sam.

"We, we will." Sam said and we left. We walked down the street spit balling the ideas for who or what might have wanted to kill all the people in the town.

"Ghosts, I mean they all work in real-estate, maybe they're working on a burial ground?" I suggested with a shrug.

"Maybe, but wouldn't the ghost kill them all in the same way?" Sam asked and I sighed.

"We need to see if Dean's turned anything up." I admitted, stuffing my hands into my pockets. We walked in silence for a little while until Sam cleared his throat.

"You need to tell him, you're planning on leaving after the hunt." Sam said and I turned to him.

"No I don't." I replied firmly.

"You really do." Sam said.

"He doesn't want me here." I said shaking my head.

"You don't know-" Sam started to say.

"He told me! He told me Sam. He said he couldn't stand being around me any more. So I'm giving him what he wants. What we both want." I said and started walking again. A few moments later Sam grabbed my arm.

"What? When did he say this?" Sam asked letting go of my arm. I pushed my hair out of my face and sighed.

"Back when he was about to die. He told me he wanted to me to go. So I'm going." I said firmly.

"He was hurting. I don't think-" Sam started to say and I shook my head.

"Just drop it Sam." I said just as Sam's phone began to ring. He put it on speaker phone and Dean explained what he had found out.  
>"Wait. What kind of a coin?" Sam asked confused.<p>

"_It's not American. I don't know where it's from. It was wedged back behind one of those machines. Somebody could have dropped it. Of course, they don't have pockets in those robe thingies that they make you wear._" Dean explained. Both me and Sam couldn't help but laugh a little at his comment.

"I didn't realize you were such a spa expert." Sam teased.

"_Shut up. I observe with my eyes._" Dean replied and I could almost tell he was rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever you say. So, you thinking it must be some kind of hex talisman?" Sam asked.

"_Uh, maybe._" Dean sighed.

"All right. Pick us up." Sam sighed.

"_Why don't you just run home, Lance?_" Dean teased.

"Dean-" Sam sighed.

"_Yeah, I'll be there in a bit._" Dean laughed before hanging up.

* * *

><p>When Dean finally came and picked us up we heard of another freaky murder just outside of town. Dean drove us to the crime scene and we climbed out. We showed our badges to the police and went to the site to check things out. I hung back with Dean to hear when the policeman outside had to say as Sam checked out the portable toilet where the dude had been killed.<br>"So, what do we know about the vic?" Dean asked as we reached the policeman.

"Dewey Stevens- owner, Dewey Stevens Construction, biggest outfit in town. Rotarian, Methodist, tenor, blue-ribbon pecan pie champ, asthmatic." The policeman racked off the list. Both me and Dean just stared at the policeman in disbelief. "We're a close-knit community." The policeman said clearing his throat. I nodded slightly.

"Yeah, I get that. Um, this, um, pillar of the community..." I said turning to the crime scene.

"He was taking a leak before he, uh, sprung a few?" Dean said finishing my sentence. I turned to Dean and he gave me a quick wink.

"The crew had gone for the day. Site was shut down." The policeman explained. We took a closer look at the body. There were nails in all of his body, and one in each eye.

"Anything unusual besides the nails in the eyes?" I asked turning to the policeman.

"Well, we're still trying to figure out where they plugged in the nail gun, seeing as there's no generator on the truck." He explained pointing to the nail gun laying on the floor near nothing.

"Well, when you figure that out, let us know." Dean said patting the cop on the shoulder before walking into the portable toilet again.

"Did you really need to be sarcastic to the man?"I huffed watching as Dean picked up another coin.

"Yeah." He said plainly as we walked into the portable building where Sam had gone into.

"Jerk." I muttered under my breath as we entered. Sam looked up from a laptop and grunted at the pair of us.

"So, another victim everybody likes." Dean explained.

"Not everybody." Sam said looking up from the laptop.

"Another physically impossible death. You got any ideas?" Dean asked.

"Cirque du Soleil?" Sam said sarcastically.

"Oh, I, uh, found another one of these, just like at the, uh, the hair-dryer/brain-roast." Dean said passing Sam the coin.

"And I found a connection with all the vics. Um, these e-mail logs show Wendy, the real-estate chick, uh, Carl, the architect, and this Dewey guy were all working on a shopping centre project together." Sam explained showing us the laptop.

"Why didn't we know about that?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"I- Well, it all fell apart for some reason. I mean, there are these e-mails back and forth, pretty hot and heavy, and suddenly they just stopped." Sam explained.

"So, everybody working on this project has died?" I asked confused.

"Well, not yet. Um, they were working with a developer, a guy named Don Stark." Sam explained.

"Don Stark? Why do I know that name?" Dean asked us as he tried to recall the name.

* * *

><p>We found just how Dean knew the name. There was a bust of the man outside of a building. He was the founder of a charity foundation. There was a poster on a wall near by, advertising an art auction run by The Margaret Stark Charity Foundation.<p>

"Man, this Stark guy is really plugged in, huh?" Sam asked looking at us.

"So, all the players in this- this shopping centre project have either fried, boiled, or kebabbed. He could be next." Dean said taking out a flask and unscrewing the lid.

"Really? From a freaking flask? What are you, bad Santa? On the job?" Sam scoffed at Dean. He looked at Sam and then me.

"We're always on the job." Dean said before taking a sip. Sam's phone went off and he read the message.

"All right. Bobby e-mailed back. I sent him a few pics of those coins you found. He says the writing is Romanian cyrillic, used only in the mid-15th to the 19th century. Apparently, it's an antique Wallachian ducat." Sam explained to us.

"So, we're looking for an old Romanian?" Dean asked confused.

"Romanian witch?" I asked. Sam turned to me then looked at the plants behind me. There were all dead just around the base of the bust of Don Stark.

"You know, is it just me, or is this really weird?" Sam said looking at the dead plants.

"Huh. I've seen this once before, where t-the plants are all dead in one spot." Dean said turning to us.

"Where?" I asked confused.

"A bus bench with Wendy Goodson's picture on it. I mean, I'm no expert, but I don't think plants are supposed to act like this." Dean added looking at us. It was a lead at least.

* * *

><p>We went Don Starks house and he lead us into his office. We stood in a line talking to the man.<br>"If the bureau's involved, I assume you think all three were murdered." Don said looking at all of us. He seemed to spend a little more time looking at me, but then again I was the only female in the room and I got the vibe Mr Stark liked the ladies.

"It's looking that way, yes." Dean said breaking Don from his stare of me.

"Now, Mr. Stark, you had a relationship with all three victims, correct?" Sam asked plainly.

"Oh, I knew them in business circles, I guess, sure." Don said with a shrug.

"And you were all involved in a shopping centre project. Why'd that fall through?" I asked plainly. Don smiled at me.

"That's a pretty accent there." Don said and I just held a plain face. "Uh, t-these things happen." Don quick added. A blonde young woman appeared and knocked on the doorway.

"Oh. Jenny. These people are from the FBI. Jenny Klein, my assistant." Don said introducing us.

"Hi, there. Okay, Don, I'm off to the cleaner's, and then I'm gonna stop at Beaman, Beaman, and Beaman for the revised contracts." Jenny said with a smile.

"Hurry on back. You know how things fall apart without you." Don said with a smile.

"Oh, I baked you some cupcakes – coconut."Jenny said with a laugh.

"Coconut - you're too good to me, Jenny." Don said with a warm smile.

"I'll see you soon." Jenny said with a quick wave and walked away. It was clear why she was employed. She was attractive and baked him cupcakes. We all must have been giving Don the same expression because he cleared his throat and looked guilty as sin.

"She bakes cupcakes." Don said quickly.

"Yummy." Dean said sarcastically.

"You know, could you point me to the rest room? I had a little bit too much java." Sam asked quickly.

"Yeah, around the corner, down the hall." Don replied.

"Thanks." Sam said leaving the room, making sure he caught our eyes before leaving. He was going for a look around.

"So, uh, usually in cases like these-" Dean started to say when Don cut him off.

"Are there cases like these?" Don asked confused.

"Oh, you'd be surprised. Uh, we start out with the basics." Dean explained.

"You have any business rivals?" I asked softly, with a small smile.

"Sure, tons. You know, real estate's brutal." Don said with a small chuckle.

"Well, that was easy." Dean said slightly sarcastically.

"On the other hand, I've demonstrated my love for this town, and I think it's safe to say I'm respected for what I've done here." Don explained with a warm smile.

"And just what have you done?" I asked flirting slightly with Don. He led me and Dean over to a framed award. It was a Citizen of the Year award.

"Yeah, one of my real treasures." Don said proudly. Dean looked at a few other pictures.

"_To Don - take no prisoners. D. Trump._ The Trumpster! Wow." Dean said impressed with Don.

"Like I said, success breeds fierce competition..." Don said with a chuckle as Sam reappeared in the room. "... but in the end, everyone here respects and admires me."

"Including your wife?" Sam asked and we all turned to Sam waiting for him to explain more. "Sorry. It's just, we heard the two of you were splitting up, right?"

"Yeah, that's, uh - that's what we heard." Dean added and I forced myself not to roll my eyes at him.

"Yeah, Maggie and I are going through a tough time. It's a separation – temporary. Sometimes, you know, you grow apart. It's no one's fault." Don explained, more to me than the others.

"And how would you describe the, uh - the issues between you and your wife?" Sam asked plainly.

"It's just one of those marital misunderstandings, you know." Don said looking at the guys.

"No, I'm sorry. I don't." Sam said plainly. Don shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"It's one of those vague, hard-to-define passages." Don said looking down.

"She caught you cheating, huh? I couldn't help but notice, uh, things were kind of cordial between you and your assistant. Pretty good with the ladies there, Mr. Stark? It's a blessing and a curse, isn't it?" Dean said and looked over at me. This time I did roll my eyes at him.

"Guys, I'm a people person, and I admire dynamic, confident women." Don said glancing at me.

"I am in this room." I stated folding my arms over my chest.

"_Admire_?" Sam asked.

"Okay, look - it's true I had a recent... little thing with a business associate, but that's all it was." Don said quickly.

"A _thing_?" I asked dryly.

"Yeah." Don said plainly.

"Like a - like a shoe or a golf club." Sam said.

"Right. Like a waffle iron." Dean added.

"Yeah." Sam said with a nod.

"Yeah. No, see, Don, uh, wives generally think of an affair as something more than a thing." Dean explained.

"Yes, and when Maggie found out about it, she needed some time off, temporarily." Don admitted.

"Hmm. Now, if we were to guess that the, uh, uh, business associate was Wendy Goodson, would we win the weekend trip to Maui?" Dean asked plainly.

"No, her death had nothing to do with the affair. It was over long before her accident." Don said quickly.

"If it was an accident." I added softly.

"You're not implying that Maggie was behind this." Don asked looking at all of us shocked.

"No, we're not implying anything. We're just saying... you should be careful. And take her to dinner and apologize." Sam explained.

"Yeah, and, uh, grovel. Wouldn't hurt." Dean added.

"Oh, and check yourself, when your looking at other women, that wouldn't hurt either." I added before we walked out of the house.

* * *

><p>"Found a bunch of hex junk in their stuff - clearly her thing. And the empty closet didn't seem like she was coming back any time soon." Sam explained, he glanced around and we all noticed the dead plants near by.<p>

"So, Don admires Wendy, biblically, Wendy dies weird, and the scorned wife is into the dark stuff." Dean explained.

"While Don's just in the dark." I added with a sigh.

"Hmm. It's kind of like _Bewitched._ You know, Don's Darrin, doesn't even know it. A lot of laughs until, uh, you cheat on your wife." Dean said with a smirk.

"A _Bewitched_ reference. Really?" Sam asked shocked.

"Dude, Nicole Kidman was in the remake. Redhead. Hello!" Dean said and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Look at all these dead plants, it's freaky." I added looking at the dead greenery.

"Huh. It's kind of like the real-estate lady's place and Don's statue thing." Dean explained.

"You know, if she's strong enough, just being pissed off is enough to send some pretty bad vibes their way." Sam suggested. Dean pulled out his phone.

"Literally kill off everything around her just by pms-ing at it. Eh. That's not creepy at all." Dean said with a shudder. "Bobby, hey, it's Dean. Listen - Winchester. Yeah, very funny. So, we need our kind of terminix. A witch. Yeah, we're headed over to her place to get you some more specifics, so if you could just, uh - y- thank y-" Dean said hanging up. "He's on it." Dean explained and we climbed into the Impala.

* * *

><p>We drove to a leased house where we figured Maggie Stark was staying. It wasn't hard to find her place. Me and Dean went into the house to check it out as quickly as possibly as Sam waited outside for us. The place was full of moving boxes.<p>

"Upstairs?" I asked looking up the stairs.

"Thought you'd never ask." Dean replied with a wink. I groaned fallowing him up the stairs. I went into the master bedroom and into the closet. Dean walked in as I found an alter with witchcraft materials and photographs of Carl Dunlop, Dewey Stevens and Wendy Goodson.

"What is that?" I asked looking at the red marks on the photos.

"That, is blood." Dean confirmed as I put the photos back. "I guess it's safe to say she's doing the cursing."

"Awesome." I said rolling my eyes. Dean picked up an unmarked picture of Jenny with her library card near by.

"Don, keep it in your pants, man." Dean said softly.

"I doubt he knows how to." I sighed softly.

"You taking her side in killing people?" Dean asked me confused.

"No, I'm just saying, I understand being angry at someone." I said plainly.

"This is about Sam." Dean said dryly.

"You have to tell him." I said looking Dean dead in the eyes.

"He wont understand." Dean replied looking away.

"You have to give him that choice." I sighed.

"It's not-" Dean was cut off by the sound of an alarm close by. We ran to the window and saw Maggie Stark walking back towards Sam.

"We need to move." I said before rushing back downstairs. I ran down the steps and then tried to figure out where to stand. Suddenly the door started to open. Dean grabbed hold of me, pulling me behind the door, resting close to him. My heart raced being so close to him, I'm going to blame it on the danger of the moment. She walked into another room and we took that as I chance to get out of there. We ran down to the front of the house were Sam was waiting by the Impala.

"Spoiler alert." Dean said passing Sam the picture of Jenny.

"Jenny Klein's next. Swiped her photo off a hex deck, but Maggie's gonna notice it's gone eventually. We got to get over to Jenny's." I added as we climbed into the car and drove away.

* * *

><p>We raced to Jenny's apartment. We didn't really have much of a plan, generally get to get the hell out of dodge and then we would go after Maggie. It was the rough plan anyway. We got there and knocked on Jenny's door. There was no answer.<p>

"Are we too late?" I asked looking at the two Winchesters.

"Jenny! Open up!" Sam yelled slamming his fist on the door. There was still no answer.

"Forget this!" Dean groaned and kicked the door in. Jenny was over the sink choking on something bloody. We rushed over to her, she was coughing so much.

"Find the coin, now!" Dean yelled to Sam. I grabbed hold of Jenny and sat her down on the floor while the guys looked all over the flat for the coin.

"Come on, guys!" I yelled as I tried to help Jenny. Not that there was anything I could really do. Sam slammed the coin down on the counter and pulled out his gun. He shot it to pieces as I covered Jenny. We got her to calm down, and sit on the sofa. She was kind of hysterical though, and I couldn't blame her. If I was eating living hearts inside cupcakes it would freak me out too. Or it would do if I didn't live this life.

"There were tiny beating hearts in my cupcakes. There were hearts in my cupcakes, hearts in my cupcakes!" Jenny said sitting up and looking over at us as she became more hysterical. "That's never happened before! Hearts in my cupcakes!"

"Should I slug her?" Dean asked glancing at me and Sam. I gave Dean a disapproving look and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Give it a second." Sam said softly.

"Oh, my God. What just happened?" Jenny asked looking at us.

"You were hexed." I said softly as we all walked over to Jenny.

"Hexed? Who are you people? What the hell do I do?" Jenny asked panicked.

"What you do is you go in there and you pack a bag, you get in your car, and you go." Dean said pointing towards Jenny's bedroom.

"Go where?" She asked looking at us clueless.

"It doesn't matter. Look, 500 or 600 miles ought to do it. You got someone real powerful real pissed, and they're trying to get rid of you now. In line with that, you might want to cool things with Don Stark." Sam said plainly.

"Don Stark? What are you talking about?" Jenny asked confused.

"You and Don. You know." Dean said raising his eyebrows.

"_You know_? There's no _you know._" Jenny said shaking her head.

"No?" I asked plainly.

"Don Stark is my boss. That's it. He's married, for God sakes." Jenny said disgusted at even being accused of sleeping with the boss.

"Yeah, well..." Dean said letting the sentence hang.

"Me and Don Stark. Eww." Jenny said shaking her head.

* * *

><p>We got Jenny out of the state for her own safety. Just because we stopped Maggie once didn't mean she wouldn't try again. Once we knew she was safe and out of the way we started to fallow the Starks as we tried to figure out how we were going to take out Maggie. We watched as Don left the building hosting the art charity event. The plants are the bust of him were still dead. Don seemed to notice and as he did the bust itself started to shake. The bust cracked and the head of Don fell to the floor in two pieces. Don looked up to a window and saw Maggie stood there. He didn't look impressed as he got into his car and drove off.<br>"Now she's just getting nasty. Killing the girlfriend is one thing, but his commemorative bust? That's got to hurt." Dean stated as we watched the events play out.

"She'll take the whole town out, Dean. She don't care who gets in the way." Sam sighed as Dean's phone rang.

"She's gonna be tricky to take down." I added as Dean picked up his phone.

"Hey, Bobby. What do you got? Yeah? You think it'll take her out? All right. No, I don't need to write it down. I'll remember. Go ahead. Mm-hmm. The - wait. Hang on. Hang on." Dean turned to Sam and gestured for a pen and paper. I sighed rolling my eyes, Sam had a similar expression on his face. "Yeah? Wait. Wa- ho- ho- hold on. Hold on. Hold on." Dean said as Sam passed over a diner menu and pen. "Okay, what was the, uh - what was that last one? Right. Uh-huh. I'll remember. It's fine." Dean said scribbling away.

* * *

><p>I voted to stay in the motel room rather than have Sam try and convince me to stay. I wasn't sure it was the best idea. It was more a lesser of two evils situation. I yawned as I sat opposite Dean at the table.<p>

"Get some sleep." Dean said nodding his head to the bed. I shook my head, getting up and walking over to the coffee.

"It's fine. I'll just grab a drink." I said looking around for a cup. Dean got up and walked behind me. I reached out for the cup and he put his hand over mine. I turned to face him and realised there was next to no gap between us. My heart raced being so close to him. My feelings for Dean were so all over the place. It was hurting my head to keep up.

"Go sleep." He whispered looking into my eyes. His green eyes looked so kind, so caring, so full of love and warm. They didn't look like the eyes of someone who didn't want me around.

"Dean-" I started to say when he shook his head.

"Sleep." He insisted. He walked me over to the bed and watched as I kicked my shoes off and crawled up.

"I wish you'd stop being nice to me." I said with a yawn. Dean chuckled a little and folded his arms over his chest.

"Why?" He asked softly with a smile.

"Makes it harder to stay mad at you." I sighed as I closed my eyes and drifted off into sleep.

_I was stood in a room. I think it was Bobby's old house. I was looking at a book, it was about demons. A particularly evil demon by the name of Alistair. I'd tangled with him once, and he killed my family. I was going to kill the son of a bitch. I was going to get revenge._

"_Whatcha reading?" Dean asked leaning on the door frame. I shut the book and tried to look innocent._

"_Just a book." I said with a shrug. Dean raised his eyebrow and walked into the room more. He reached for the book but I slapped his hand away. "I'm reading it."_

"_Megan, what is it?" He asked tugging on the book a little. I sighed letting it go and got to my feet. "It's not-" I started to say when Dean flicked through the pages._

"_You can't kill him." Dean said plainly and turned to me._

"_He killed my family. I am going to kill him. They, they... because of me." I said as I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. Dean put the book down and walked over to me._

"_They didn't die because of you." Dean said and I looked down to the floor as a tear escaped. I didn't want to cry any more. I wanted to take action. I felt Dean put his hand under my chin and lift my head back up so I could see his eyes. "You aren't to blame. Believe me, I've seen enough to know."_

"_Dean..." I whispered out his name as a sad smile crossed his lips. The way Dean looked into my eyes, the honest in his voice. I believed him. I believed what he said. It wasn't my fault._

"_I know. I know, and it will get better. When WE get this bastard." Dean said wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sobbed on his chest._

I woke up and looked around, Dean was sat eating some pie. I smirked a little to myself before he noticed I was up. He turned to me with the folk hovering round his open mouth.

"Nice pie?" I smirked as I rubbed my eyes and sat opposite him. _Sure, you are a dick. You do duchy things. You really need to tell Sam you killed Amy. And you probably can't stand me being around. But apart from that whole layer of being a douche... You aren't that bad Winchester. You are an actually descent human being. I... I trusted your word once. Took it as gospel. And now... I.. think I might-_

"What are you thinking?" Dean asked with a mouthful of pie.

"Pardon?" I asked blinking.

"You were thinking." Dean said as he swallowed his pie. "What were you thinking?"

"How'd you know?" I asked confused. Dean smirked and for a second my heart raced a little.

"I know you sweetheart." He said with a wink. "Every time you think, you bite the bottom left of your lip just a little and your thumbs tap on something." I blushed a little at being busted so easy. Dean let out a small chuckle and shook his head. "So what were you thinking?"

"I um," I looked down at the table and back into Dean's green eyes. "I was just," I looked at the pie. "I was wondering what was taking Sam so long?" I lied and just on queue Sam walked through the door.

"Dude. Pie." Dean said smirking at the pie in front of him. Sam put a plastic bag down next to us and I had to turn my head away. The smell was disgusting. "Ugh. That is -"

"Chicken feet, just like the recipe calls for. Butcher's fridge is down." Sam explained as he walked over to the other spell items and started to set things up.

"I can smell that." Dean said dropping his folk and looking disgusted.

"I think I might be sick..." I said holding a hand over my mouth. Dean and me traded similar looks of distaste and turned to Sam.

"Uh, says the power's been wonky and that he's lost so much product, he probably won't make rent. Ditto every shop on the block - nothing but burst pipes and blackouts." Sam explained

"Huh." Dean asked looking at the bag of feet.

"He says it's like all of a sudden, the town ran out of luck." Sam carried on explaining.

"So, coincidence, right?" Dean asked picking up the bag of feet, holding as little as possible and walked over to Sam.

"Uh...yeah. We're past the point of dead flowers." Sam said still setting things up.

"What can I say? I guess the witch is pissed. All right, let's, uh - we better get a move on here. Why don't you just..." Dean asked holding the bag out at arms length. "C-can you take the feet?" Dean begged as Sam panicked and held the bowl out. Dean dropped the feet in and back away like it was the plague.

"Ugh." Sam said catching the smell of the feet again.

* * *

><p>We got the spell ready and headed over to the art house auction to find and hopefully kill Maggie Stark. However as we pulled up we noticed there was cops everywhere.<br>"What the hell?" Dean asked as we got out of the Impala. We went in side and flashed our FBI badges at the cop on the door. As we walked inside we saw just what had happened. The paintings had all melted and the biggest thing was the decapitated body on the floor. "Whoa. Clean-up on aisle 7." Dean said to us softly.

"Well I guess it's escalating." I sighed softly looking around.

"Okay, I don't guess she'd do this to her own auction." Sam added.

"No, obviously it was someone who hated her guts and wanted her party trashed." Dean replied looking at us.

"Don Stark." Both me and Sam said at the same time. We headed back out, planning on getting the two together so we could end it.

"So, the mister's a witch, himself. That means we got not just one pissed-off witch. We've got two. It's full-on _War of the Roses._" Dean said as we walked back to the Impala.

"_Bewitched_ just got a lot less funny." Sam added as we walked.

"It's like when they switched Darrins." Dean asked softly as we climbed into the Impala.

* * *

><p>We drove to the Stark house and camped out waiting for Maggie to show. We knew Don was already inside.<br>"Where is she?" Sam asked impatiently.

"She'll be here. They've been throwing thunderbolts at each other's favourite toys. There's nothing left to destroy but each other. This is basically ground zero." Dean said looking over at me and Sam.

"I hope so. We're gonna need them both in the same place if we're gonna take them down." Sam explained.

"Let's hope we can just get the drop." I sighed as Maggie Stark drove up.

"Screens up, Captain." Dean said as we all ducked down so that she didn't see us. I don't think she even cared. She looked like a woman on a mission driving up the private drive.

* * *

><p>We got everything we needed and burst through the door carrying a bowl.<br>"Furor divina virtute in infernum eam detrude!" Dean cried out as Sam lit a match and dropped it in the bowl. A ball of white smoke and steam rose up and then nothing. The Stark family were still stood there looking at us unimpressed.

"Let me guess - chicken feet? Not chilled?" Maggie asked.

"Nice..." I said under my breath.

"For obvious reasons, you won't be leaving this room." Don said putting his glass down and getting up. Standing next to Maggie. "Well, you will be leaving -just not alive. Maggie?" Don said as the pair lifted their arms and spoke in unison.

"Puterea magiei negre..." The pair started to chant.

"What now?" I asked looking at the others panicked.

"Okay, plan B." Sam said with a nod.

"We had a plan B?" I asked confused.

"What's plan B?" Dean asked.

"Talking." Sam said nervously.

"...La suferinta..." The pair continued.

"Now? Really?" Dean asked shocked.

"This is obviously a domestic dispute. So if you can't kill them, counsel them." Sam said with a shrug.

"Yeah. You know what? Not my area!" Dean said shaking his head.

"You think?" I asked and shook my head.

"Supune-te ordinelor mele-" The pair continued raising their hands to us.

"Okay, okay, okay. Uh..." Dean said putting the bowl down on a chair. "Look- obviously, you two are capable of wiping each other out, right? But you haven't, huh? Which means that you two- you still value whatever it is you got. A-and you want keep that dance going. Maybe it's- maybe it's punishment. Maybe it's- it's sick, messed-up, erotic, kinky, clamps and feathers kind of love." Dean said as he started to rant slightly.

"Not helping." I muttered under my breath and Dean looked at me confused.

"Okay, okay, t-that's - that's going way too deep, there, cowboy. Look, what he's trying to say is that, is that you two - whatever it is you have, you're bonded." Sam said trying to make the Starks less angry.

"Are you out of your mind? He cheated on me, humiliated me." Maggie snapped.

"And it is humiliating being cheated on. No one is arguing that fact." I said and Maggie smiled at me, where as Don frown.

"We're not trying to say what Don did was right. When a relationship cracks, usually both parties have a hand in it." Sam added making Don smile a little and Maggie frown.

"Indeed." Don said with a nod to Maggie.

"You're defending him?" Maggie asked shocked and mad at Sam. She reached a hand out to Sam making him fall down to the floor in pain.

"Ugh!" Sam cried out, holding his chest.

"Whoa! Okay, okay! Okay, look- n-nobody can defend Don. Right? Uh, totally. But, uh, we get that you feel betrayed...because you were." Dean added making Maggie less mad.

"Don't suck up to her." Don said putting an arm out and making Dean fly into a glass door behind him.

"Whoa! Take it easy! You both have the right to feel hurt! Maybe Maggie didn't spend enough time with you, but maybe you gave into temptation too easily!" I said holding my hands up.

"Temptation? I never-" Don started to argue.

"Ha! Yeah right! Anything with a pulse and you'd jump on it!" Maggie yelled. "I bet you hit on her!" Maggie said pointing to me.

"Maggie-" Don said softly.

"You did!" Maggie said and turned to me, flying a hand out in my direction. I dropped to the floor as if my chest was being hugged by a bear. The pain shot through my sides and I gasped for air. "I was betrayed by all of them. Carl introduced you to Wendy. Dewey covered for you. Wendy did you!" Maggie yelled at Don.

"Okay, okay, look-" Sam said getting to his feet. "I got to say I, I don't think Don was lying when he said he regrets the whole Wendy thing."

"_Thing_? Sit down." Maggie snapped, making a hand motion, and Sam fell to the floor again.

"Aagh! Ugh! Yeah, affair - that's right, terrible." Sam said rolling around in pain.

"I think the only thing he regrets is getting caught." Maggie snapped.

"Wendy was nothing to me. It was over as soon as it started." Don explained to Maggie.

"She was part of a pattern, okay? I've had 800 years of this. Do not make me bring up the Renaissance!" Maggie snapped.

"Oh! Oh! You're one to talk. 1492 ring any bells?" Don asked shaking his head.

"The man was about to set sail! He could possibly fall off of the edge of the earth. I took pity. So, what's your excuse?" Maggie asked like a child arguing.

"I told you - nothing happened with the Medici chick! You've always been insanely jealous." Don scoffed.

"Oh, I wonder why! Jenny. Wendy." Maggie said reeling off names.

"Jenny? Nothing happened with Jenny. She's just my assistant." Don explained as both me and Dean got to our feet, resting on one another for support.

"That's true." I said holding my side.

"She, uh - she told us - just an assistant." Dean said waving a hand around. Maggie didn't even look at us. She threw her arm out and knocked us both backwards with force.

"Whoa!" Dean cried out.

"Damn it!" I cried holding my side.

"Is that true?" Maggie asked looking at Don.

"Yes, I swear it, babe. I would never. I made a mistake. I'm sorry, Maggie." Don said softly. Sam got back up onto his feet.

"See? See? Guys, guys... You're talking." Sam said with a small smile, before helping me back onto my feet. I noticed Dean get up and stand in the doorway. "All these years, you – you- you buried your anger and your disappointment till it tore you apart. All you needed to do was talk."

"And I would have missed the nuking that my melon just took. Well, who wants that?" Dean asked slightly sarcastically. Maggie threw her hand out to Dean again. She slammed him against the doorway. Don then added his own touch by surrounding Dean's head with bees.

"Nice touch." Maggie said smiling at Don.

"Thank you." Don replied and the pair laughed. "He's right. I couldn't kill you. All I ever wanted is you, Mags. I've been crushing on you since forever. You're the woman that I want to never grow old with."

"I could never murder you either, Don. It's crazy... But true." Maggie replied and the pair kissed.

"Somebody want to call these things off? Ex- excuse me!" Dean said spitting out bees.

* * *

><p>We got back to the motel and I was glad for the hunt to be over. Dean pulled out his flask and drank from it. Sam raised his eyebrows and glanced at me. I just shook my shoulders.<p>

"Oh, give me a break." Dean sighed.

"I didn't say anything." Sam said throwing his hands in the air.

"It's been a long day." Dean grumbled. I sighed and looked at Sam, I knew he was worried about Dean. It was easy to see.

"And it's not over yet." Some random guy said in the room. Both me and Dean pulled a weapon. Dean went for his gun, I grabbed my knife. "Hi, Sam. Hi, Dean. Hi, Megan." This guy said waving to me a little. I tightened my grip on my knife.

"Do we know you?" Sam asked confused.

"Well, I definitely know you. You're the dead guys. Well, you will be in a minute." This guy said with a smirk that sent a shiver down my spine. Dean shot the guy and black liquid just ran out of the hole, along with the bullet. "Sorry. You're a bit outmatched."

"Leviathan." I said softly as he reached us. In one movement he punched Dean, sending him sprawling onto the floor. I swiped out with my knife, not that it did any good.

"That kind of tickled." The guy said with a small laugh before twisting my arm backwards, forcing me to drop the knife before tossing me across the other side of the bed and into the wall with an almighty thud. I landed on something soft and it took me a few moments to realise I was on top of Dean. Suddenly the guy fell to the floor electrocuted. I scrambled to my feet as did Dean and Sam. Don was stood in the doorway looking at us all.

"Don. Well, thank you. We owe you." Dean said as we walked round to the front of the beds.

"Good God. What is that thing?" Don asked looking down at the Leviathan.

"I guess we should be figuring that out." Sam said rubbing his wrist.

"It is on our to-do list." Dean added with a small goofy smile.

"You know, find a bottomless pit and drop it in. Spell only lasts for a few days." Don said walking over to the beds and felt around.

"Uh, what are you even doing here?" I asked still a little dazed.

"Apparently, saving your lives – twice." Don said holding up a coin. "Got it."

"Maggie? Seriously?" Sam asked shocked. Don felt under the other mattress.

"She was gonna kill us? We just saved your damn marriage." Dean protested. Don pulled out two more coins before putting them in his pocket.

"Yeah, but to be fair, you also tried to kill her. You know how she is when she gets a bug up her ass. Got to love her, right?" Don asked looking at us. We held blank faces. "Right. Bottomless pit. Ciao!" Don said before walking out closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Sam closed the door to the back of the Impala with the guy chained in the back seat.<br>"Yeah, he's ready for transport. I just hope you got some place you can put him, Bobby. All right." Dean said and hung up phone, putting the bags into the trunk. "We should hit the road. You ready?"

"Why again is that in the back?" I asked pointing to the back seat.

"It's the best place to put him." Dean said plainly.

"But I sit in the back." I said plainly.

"You can share." Dean smirked.

"You sit in the back, I'll drive!" I said firmly.

"Oh no, that is never going to happen." Dean smirked. "You could sit up front with me and Sam."

"Wont that be a bit cramped?" I asked raising an eyebrow. Dean thought about it for a few moments.

"Nah!" He said and walked over to the drivers side door. Sam stood by the passenger side and looked over to me and Dean.

"Hey, were you, um, were you listening to the Starks tonight?" Sam asked plainly, resting on the roof.

"Uh, a little, when I wasn't getting slammed into a wall or stung by bees." Dean replied, also leaning on the roof.

"You notice how they, uh, you know, how they - how they opened up, got everything off their chest?" Sam asked.

"Dude... come on." I sighed knowing what Sam was going to say next.

"Yeah. Kudos on selling them that crap." Dean replied with a smirk.

"It wasn't crap, Dean. It worked." Sam replied softly.

"Sam, I am so very, very, very, very...very, very tired-" Dean said shaking his head.

"Dean, like it or not, the stuff you don't talk about doesn't just go away. It builds up, like what ever's eating at you right now." Sam said and I glanced at Dean.

"There's always something eating at me. That's who I am. Something happens, I feel responsible, all right? The Lindbergh baby - that's on me. Unemployment- my bad." Dean stated ignoring my look.

"That's not what I'm talking about." Sam said firmly.

"Well, then what the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked shaking his head.

"I'm talking about whatever you're not telling me about. Look, Dean, it's fine. You can unload. That's kind of what I'm here for." Sam said throwing him the puppy dog eyes. Dean just held a plain face. "I mean... we're good, right?"

"We're good." Dean said still holding the plain face. Sam looked at the pair of us for a second hurt and frustrated before climbing into the car. I turned to Dean to speak. "Don't say it." He said coldly, opening the door for me to climb in. I gave him a sad smile before joining Sam in the car.

* * *

><p>So what do you guys all think? Please just take a moment to review it, just click the button and let me know what you think... please? Thanks =D<p> 


	7. Slash Fiction

Hey everyone! Hope your all doing well out there! I got a few house keeping notes to do so bare with me. Firstly, as we all know SPN will be going on Hellatus soon, with that in mind, so will this story. I have a few good chapters planned, upto ep9 in fact. But yeah, then I want to take a break over the holidays. Secondly, I really love everyone who reads it, but I'd like a few more reviews, I just dont know if you guys are digging my version of season 7 or not :/ any imput helps guys!  
>Finally, I want to shout out the events in Egypt. I hope everyone there is keeping safe and that a peaceful solution will happen quickly. Prayer's go out to everyone there.<p>

* * *

><p>The drive to the cabin was, well awkward to say the least. Firstly we had a leviathan chained up and thankfully knocked out in the back seat. He was out cold, but having that creature close really did give me the creeps. I knew what they were capable of and I knew better than anyone on the planet. I checked the rear view mirror every couple of minutes and at any little sound, my hand rested over my knife, just in case. There was no way I was going to let it get the jump on me or the guys. I was going to be ready. No matter what. The second awkward element was Sam. Sam fast asleep in the seat next to me to be exact. He was resting against the window and had fallen asleep a good hour ago, he was out like a log. He had stayed awake for most of the journey, but sleep called and he answered. I had no idea how he could sleep with the leviathan in the back. This led to the most awkward part of the journey. I was stuck next to Dean. I was so close to him and I caught him glancing at me now and again.<p>

When it came to Dean my mind was all over the place. I was mad at him, hurt I guess. He kept things from me, now he was doing the same to Sam. He wouldn't tell Sam about killing Amy. Then he told me he wanted me gone. It was in a fit of anger he told me, and I'm pretty sure he wanted me gone so he could die. But in the back of my mind in planted an idea. I wanted to leave. I did. I wanted to know who I was without the Winchesters. But as we worked the last case, memories started to flood back. Memories of me and Dean; and for once, they weren't bad. They were good memories. I was left feeling like I had been dumped into the middle of a storm. I knew there was _something_ about him, something I was attracted to, yet at the same time, all these horrible memories were stopping me from acting on the feelings. I wondered how complicated my life was when I remembered everything and came to the conclusion it wasn't much better then the life I had now.

I glanced into the rear view mirror and watched as the leviathan just laid there, perfectly still, chains hanging around his limp body. My stomach turned slightly, fear I guess, but it was the fear that was keeping me awake and thus alive. I herd Dean sigh softly and glanced at him. He was looking out to the road.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly, my eyes darting to the mirror one last time. The leviathan was still out cold.

"You keep checking, but Don put him out for a couple of days." Dean said with a small smile on his face, as he glanced at me. "You can relax a little. Take a leaf out of Sammy's book."

"Sleep?" I asked making it sound like the most disgusting thing in the world. Dean let out a small chuckle and glanced at me again.

"Yeah sleep Megan. I can handle the drive." Dean said with a soft smile on his lips. I turned to him and shook my head.

"No way Jose." I said folding my arms over my chest. "I want to be awake just in case." I sighed.

"Your choice." Dean shrugged and the car fell back into silence. The gentle hum of the Impala and Sam's soft breaths were all you could hear. It was just adding to the awkward feeling. I glanced in the mirror again and then watched Dean. His eyes were glued on the road as he drove. But there was something in his eyes. I don't know, maybe I was reading too much into it. But he looked sad, hurt, lost. The green, didn't seem to sparkle and I started to wonder if that was because of the lying he was doing. I felt bad for not being able to stop his pain. A part of me, a part that didn't rely on memories, wanted to reach out and hold his hand. Tell him that everything was going to be ok.

"You, you wanna talk about it?" I asked softly. Dean turned to me looking confused.

"Talk about what?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing. I glanced down to my lap and then looked up to him again.

"You look, um, hurt." I said looking into his deep green eyes and feeling myself fall into them.

"I'm fine." He said tearing his head back to the road and nodded a little.

"You look it." I said softly. I hadn't meant the comment to come out sarcastically but it did.

"Yeah well your not looking much better. Are you getting any sleep these days?" Dean asked me, a quick glancing look into my eyes. I took a deep breath and pushed the hair out of my face.

"Enough." I said looking out into the endless road.

"Thought so." Dean sighed and the rest of the car ride was silent.

* * *

><p>We reached Bobby's cabin and unloaded the leviathan into the basement, chains and all. We discovered, by searching his pockets, that his name was Chet. Or at least that was who he used to be, before the poor sucker got eaten alive. We explained to Bobby everything that happened on the hunt including the fun we had with the two witches. Fun being the euphemism for getting the crap kicked out of us. After a good three hours of explaining and getting chewed out for making mistakes, I finally made my way to a bed. I closed the door behind me and sighed softly. I pulled my jacket off and tossed it onto a chair, kicking off my boots before sitting on the edge of the bed. I pulled my hair loose and collapsed backwards into the soft bed. I closed my eyes and silently prayed the leviathan wouldn't break free because I really needed a few hours sleep.<p>

_I was sat on the hood of the Impala. The stars were shining so bright in the nights sky. It was like someone had put a million tiny lights into a black sheet. The sky was perfect, no moon, no clouds. Perfect. I was just laid their, enjoying the view, content with no thoughts. I herd the door of the Impala close as Dean appeared with two bottles of beer._

"_Thirsty?" He chuckled passing me the beer. He climbed up and laid down next to me._

"_Thanks for this Dean." I said nudging him slightly before taking a sip of the beer._

"_What did I do?" He asked innocently, a warm smile on his lips._

"_You brought me out here. Let me get some space." I said returning his warm smile._

"_All I did was tell Sammy to stay with Bobby. It's no big deal. I wanted to spend sometime with you alone anyway." Dean smirked before drinking his beer._

"_Well thanks anyway." I sighed softly, a smile firmly planted on my face._

"_Any time." Dean replied as I rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me a little closer, running his hand up and down my arm. It was so relaxing. So peaceful. I could hear Dean's steady heart beat and everything was just... perfect._

"_Run away. Get away from him. You, you gotta get away from them. From him." I herd my voice and sat up. Stood at the foot of the Impala was me, only not. The other me, was covered in blood, cuts everywhere. Her clothes were shredded and she was a mess. I glanced to Dean and he was still watching the stars._

"_What? Who?" I asked confused._

"_Get away from him! He will only get you killed! Please, just run away, get away from him!" The other me said and started to get hysterical. I slid off the hood of the Impala and closed the gap._

"_Take it easy, no one is going to get me-" I said so softly not to scare the other me. Suddenly she grabbed hold of me, her fingers digging into my upper arms. It hurt and I tried to pull away but she held me tight._

"_He Will Kill You! You Need To Run! They Want Him Not You! Go! Go! RUN AWAY! NOW!" She screamed in my face shaking me._

I shot up in a cold sweat as my heart raced. My mind raced through the dream, trying to figure out what was memory and what was me just being a mess. I grabbed a shower and changed into some clean clothes. My mind still racing even after the shower.

"I need to get out of here. I need to just get some space and figure it all out." I said to myself as I pulled on a clean shirt.

* * *

><p>I walked out of the bedroom, buttoning up the last couple of buttons on my shirt as I walked over to the kitchen area. Sam and Bobby were sat around eating breakfast. The pair smiled at me as I poured myself a glass of juice.<p>

"Morning." I said moving to sit next to Bobby.

"How'd you sleep girl?" Bobby asked softly.

"Fine. So what we doing with Chet?" I asked before taking a sip of juice.

"We gotta find a way to kill him. See if he will tell us anything too." Sam replied.

"Looks like I'll be breaking out everything I know on this one." Bobby said shaking his head. "Ain't got any books to help this time."

"I'm sure we'll figure something out." I said with an encouraging smile.

"Me too girl." Bobby said nodding softly. The table fell silent again for a few moments, Sam glancing at Bobby and Bobby glancing back. Finally Sam cleared his throat and looked over to me.

"Megan?" Sam asked softly.

"Hmm, yeah Sam?" I replied looking up from the newspaper on the table.

"Have you thought more about staying?" Sam asked and we both glanced at Bobby. He automatically threw his hands in the air.

"Hey! I'm staying out of this." Bobby said gruffly.

"Sam, I just think it would be a good time to leave." I said threw grit teeth.

"But what about Dean? Or the leviathans?" Sam asked throwing me the puppy dog eyes.

"Dean is a big boy, he'll live. And it doesn't matter where we are, the leviathans will find us if they want to." I said standing up.

"It's safer if we stick together." Sam pointed out. I sighed and shook my head.

"I'll risk it. I need the space." I said shaking my head.

"We can give you space here." Sam argued.

"It's not the same, and you know it." I said putting my glass in the sink and headed for the front door.

"Where you going girl?" Bobby asked watching us argue.

"I need some air. I'm going for a drive in my Camero." I said walking out of the door.

* * *

><p>Needless to say I avoided both Winchesters like the plague for the next day. Sam wanted to make me stay and Dean just gave me confusing feelings. I was sat on the sofa, reading through a book when Sam and Dean walked into the cabin.<p>

"Wow." Dean said shocked and I turned to him confused. "I was beginning to think you'd done a vanishing act on us." He joked and I glanced to Sam.

"I was just... creeped out by Chet. Needed to get away from the house." I said softly, looking back down at the book.

"Don't worry. We'll figure out a way to kill him." Dean said with a warm smile. I nodded and stood from the sofa.

"Where's Bobby?" Sam asked looking around.

"Trying to kill Chet down there." I said pointing to the basement.

"Well, shall we go see how he's doing?" Dean asked leading the way to the basement. We trooped down the stairs and found Chet, alive, and tied to the chain still. It looked like he didn't even have a scratch on him. It just added to my level of uneasy.

"And how are my three favourite meat-sickles?" Chet asked with a massive grin as we walked into the basement.

"Is he still sucking air?" Dean asked Bobby, totally ignoring Chet. I glanced at him and he blew me a kiss. I forced myself not to flinch, I simply turned to Bobby instead.

"Greatest hits didn't do the trick. I'm down to B-sides and deep cuts." Bobby sighed as he put a needle onto the table.

"Well, you better figure out something quick. That whammy that witch dude put on him is only gonna last for a few days. He gets his spinach back, we're gonna end up having to drop a car on him just to stop him." Dean sighed as we stood in the far corner from Chet.

"Actually... Edgar walked away from that car. He's fine. Well, he is a little pissed at you, but- Oh. You didn't know?" Chet asked us as my stomach fell to the floor. We hadn't even killed one of them. Just slowed it down. It was like nothing could even hurt the sons of bitches.

"Why don't you shut your cake-trap?" Dean snapped at Chet.

"Ooh." Chet said faking fear.

"Bobby... You've been using all this stuff and he still won't talk?" Sam asked looking at all the tools Bobby had laid out. There was literally ever way possible of killing any monster we hunted laid there, and nothing had worked. It made me a little dishearten. Bobby shook his head as Dean pulled a stool up and sat close to Chet.

"Huddle over, coach?" Chet said sarcastically.

"How'd you find us?" Dean asked seriously.

"It was easy. I used pattern-recognition software and a basic heuristic algorithm to track your known aliases." Chet replied plainly. I glanced at the boys, Dean didn't seem to understand but Sam did. Chet was tracking our fake I.D's.

"Great. Just what we need- a Mensa monster." Bobby said sarcastically. Dean stood back up and walked over to me and Sam.

"All right. Let's just start with the start. Where'd you get our aliases?" Sam asked folding his arms over his chest.

"From your trench-coated friend, obviously. When we were all nestled in at Camp Cass, kind of got the full download. That's just how we do." Chet said smugly.

"So why are you talking to us, Chet? You're not dumb. Why you spilling state secrets?" I asked standing firm by the side of the boys. Stupid I know, but the old strength in numbers always made me feel better when I went against monsters.

"'Cause I'm not scared of you. You can't stop me. You can't stop any of us. We can't be killed, you stupid little chew-toys. You are aware that I'm the least of your concerns, right? Oh. You haven't watched the news today, have you?" Chet asked with a chuckle.

We made our way upstairs and turned to TV on. All over all channels were reports of an armed bank robbery. We stood there with our mouths wide open as we watched.  
>"The two men, who up until today were presumed dead, locked the doors and opened fire, leaving no survivors. Sam and Dean Winchester are now the subjects of a manhunt throughout the state of California." The male reports said as on screen came a video security footage of Sam and Dean robbing the bank. Bobby turned to the TV off and turned back to us. The guys were just shocked, we all were.<p>

"Busy morning, you two?" Bobby asked sarcastically.

"Those sons of bitches Xeroxed us." Dean cursed as Bobby walked over to the fridge.

"But I don't understand how." Sam added just as mad and confused as Dean.

"I don't know." I shrugged as Bobby took a beer out of the fridge.

"Maybe one of 'em touched you at the hospital." Bobby added before taking a sip of his beer.

"It was the hair! Not too hard to lift some DNA out of a motel shower drain, guys!" Chet shouted from the basement.

"You can copy people like that?" Dean asked us all. Me and Bobby shrugged while Dean and Sam looked disgusted. "Awesome. Well, what is their plan, exactly?" Dean asked shivering slightly.

"Squeeze us. Turn us into the most wanted men in America." Sam answered shaking his head.

"All right. Well, that settles it. We find these ass monkeys, and we kill them ourselves." Dean said firmly.

"Wait a sec. Every form of law enforcement in the country has seen your ugly mugs this morning." Bobby pointed out.

"Exactly. So what's the point in trying to hide?" Dean asked firmly.

"Better than sticking your fool neck out. These things are smarter than you." Bobby stated and we herd Chet laugh a little.

"Jeez, Bobby, don't sugar coat it." Sam said sarcastically.

"Bobby's right. I mean what do you plan to do exactly? Charge in and hope for the best?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"You don't have a clue how to kill 'em or slow 'em down, and your plan is, what? Go right at 'em? Genius." Bobby added shaking his head.

"They're wearing our faces, Bobby. This is personal." Dean said firmly.

"Yeah, I'm with Dean here." Sam added nodding his head.

"Well, if you're gonna be stupid, you might as well be smart about it. You need to see a fella named Frank Devereaux." Bobby said writing something down on a piece of paper.

"Who's he?" Sam asked confused.

"He's a jackass and a lunatic, but he owes me one, from back in Port Huron." Bobby replied passing Dean the paper with the address on. "In the meantime, I'll keep working on Chatty Cathy here, see if I can figure out what makes him die."

"Great, let's go." Dean said looking at me.

"I'm not going with you guys." I said plainly, and everyone looked at me.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked confused.

"I'm not going." I said again.

"Megan." Sam said softly, throwing me the damn puppy dog eyes.

"Sam, no." I said shaking my head. Dean looked like he was watching tennis, back and forth.

"What is going on here?" Dean asked me.

"I'm leaving." I said plainly.

"L,l, leaving?" Dean asked as if he hadn't herd me right the first time.

"Yeah." I said with a nod.

"Why?" Dean asked and I glanced at Sam and Bobby. They both looked uneasy.

"I just... I need some space." I said plainly.

"Space? Megan the leviathan are out there and want to rip us to pieces. You think now really is the best time to get some space?" Dean asked almost shouting at me.

"Dean, I can't stay here. I'm too mixed up." I replied, raising my voice a little.

"Mixed up?" Dean scoffed shaking his head. "Now? Really? You want to leave us now?" Dean snapped. I flinched slightly as his raised voice.

"Dean, take it easy." Sam said softly. Dean snapped his head to his big brother.

"No!" He snapped and turned back to me. "You want to leave now?"

"You told me to go!" I snapped back and saw that moment of hurt in Dean's eyes.

"Fine! Go! Get lost!" Dean snapped and charged into a bedroom.

"That could have gone easier." I sighed dropping my head as Dean slammed the door shut.

* * *

><p>I packed up my Camero with everything I needed. The boys hadn't left yet, I think Sam was trying to talk to Dean. I wasn't sure but I just needed to get away. I grabbed the last of my things and stuffed them into a backpack. Bobby walked over to me as I headed to the door.<p>

"He was just worried about you." Bobby said fallowing me to my Camero. I dropped the bag in the passenger side and closed the door.

"Yeah..." I sighed and pushed my hair out of my face. "You understand, right?" I asked pleading with Bobby to understand.

"I get it girl. You don't know who you are. You need the space to figure it out." Bobby said with a warm smile.

"Thank you Bobby Singer. You are a good man." I said and pulled him into a small hug. As we pulled apart Sam and Dean walked out, ready to load up the Impala. I glanced at them and Dean scowled at me, before shoving something into the boot.

"Take care of yourself." Bobby said making me turn back to him.

"I will." I said with a soft smile. Sam walked over to us and shoved his hands into his jeans.

"I'm sorry." Sam said throwing me the look again.

"It's not your fault Sam. Mine really." I said with a sad smile.

"I tried to talk to him. He doesn't want to know." Sam shrugged.

"I'll get over it." I said and gave him a smile. "Take care, and look after Dean. He's a jerk, but he loves you."

"I know." Sam said pulling me into a quick hug. "Where you heading?"

"I was going to check out the bank in Jericho, Cali. See if I can sniff anything out to where they might be heading next." I said with a shrug.

"Be careful, they could still be there." Sam said with a worried look.

"I know what I'm doing." I said with a small smile before climbing into the Camero and starting her up. I caught Dean glancing at me, but as soon as he knew, I saw him he looked away. I nodded to Sam and Bobby and headed to Jericho.

* * *

><p>I was on the way to Jericho, my mind trying desperately to focus on the case, to focus on the Leviathans and killing and why they would use the Winchesters faces. But it wasn't working. I couldn't shake the image of Dean's face. The hurt in his eyes when I pointed out he was the one who told me to get lost. The sadness in them as he saw me behind the wheel of the car. It was like I had kicked a damn puppy. It was eating me up inside knowing I had hurt him so badly.<p>

"Damn it Dean! Why did you have to look so freaking hurt?" I asked slamming my hands on the steering wheel hard. "Urgh! I need a distraction. I need music!" I said hitting play on my CD player.

"_Fruit on the vine, you get yours, I get mine. Meat on your bones. They wont know. They wont know!_" Sang Breaking Benjamin's Topless. Suddenly a sharp throbbing pain shot into my head. I swerved the car over to the road side and grabbed my head as my vision went blurry. "What the hell?" I cried out in pain as I closed my eyes.  
>"<em>What if Sam walks in?" I asked giggling a little as Dean locked my motel room door.<em>

"_He wont." Dean said with a smirk. A devilish look in his eyes._

"_What if Sam and Bobby find out?" I asked fighting the smile that wanted to break free from just being around Dean._

"_They wont know." Dean said closing the gap between us. He started to kiss my neck, moving onto my ear and nipping it a little. "They wont know." He whispered into my ear sending shivers down my spine. _

"_Dean." I moaned his name as my hands found his shirt, almost ripping it off him. Our lips crashed as Dean's hands went under the vest top I was wearing and pulled it up and over my head. I took the opportunity to remove Dean's t-shirt too. We were both topless in the motel room, hands roaming, lips crashing together. Dean backed me up to the wall and smile._

"_You are beautiful." Dean said looking straight into my eyes. My heart raced at his words. I pushed myself off the wall to wrap my arms around him when he shoved me back against the wall. Grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head. "Did I say you could move yet?" He asked with a chuckle that sent me wild. My heart was racing and all I wanted to do was get Dean on that bed..._

"_You know I could just use my powers and break out of this right?" I asked with a smirk. Dean frowned at me for a seconds before placing such a soft kiss on my lips. It left me hungry for more. More kisses, more touches, more of Dean pressed against me. I wanted him bad and he knew it._

"_What fun would that be?" He asked, his face so close to me that it sent shivers down my spine. Dean's hand heading to my girl boxers I was sleeping in. My heart raced at the excitement of it all._

"_God Dean Winchester... you are so sexy!" I smirked as I felt him slip them off. He kissed my neck some more, a smirk playing on his lips._

"_I know." His voice bouncing around in my mind._

The memory past and I was left holding my head. I couldn't believe it, I remembered being with Dean. I remember sleeping with him. I blinked a few times and sat up. I caught my reflection in the rear view mirror. My nose had bled a little.

"What the hell?" I asked wiping away the blood. My mind was swimming with the fresh memory. I sat there for a few moments, picking apart the memory, it was so real for a few minutes it felt like I was there in the memory. My heart was beating as if I was still in the room with Dean. I sighed finally agreeing with myself it was all real. A blush crept onto my cheeks with the realisation that in fact me and Dean had actually slept together; and just how good it was.  
>*<em>I'll get you, and your little dog too muhahaha!* <em>My phone started to play Home, by Breaking Benjamin. I scrambled around for it in my pocket and pulled it out.

"O'Connor?" I asked sighed softly.

"_Megan, it's Bobby. Look forget Jericho, head for Black Water Ridge, Colorado._" Bobby said down the phone.

"What why? What happened?" I asked softly.

"_The leviathan doubles hit a convince store._" Bobby sighed.

"Awesome." I said sarcastically. I took a moment and felt my heart slow down and the colour fade in my cheeks.

"_Hey, you ok?_" Bobby asked sounding worried.

"Yeah, yeah I'm functioning." I said with a small laugh.

"_Be careful out there._" Bobby said and smiled.

"Yes Dad." I said sarcastically.

"_Don't yes dad me._" He grumbled before hanging up. I smirked and slipped my phone into my pocket before starting the engine again.

"Black Water it is..." I sighed turning my baby around and heading to Colorado.

* * *

><p>I was nearly at Black Water when Bobby called again to let me know the hottest crime scene was another bank in Manitco, Wisconsin. I drove straight to the bank and found the police were already there checking things out. I pulled my Camero up and took a deep breath. I was dressed in my white shirt and trousers combo, my hair in a high ponytail. I climbed out of my baby and tucked my gun into a holster before walking over to the sheriff.<p>

"Sheriff, I'm Special Agent Braddock, CIA." I said flashing my fake badge.

"Miss, what is the CIA want with the Feeb's most wanted?" The Sheriff asked moving the tape so I could get under.

"Well now Sheriff I wouldn't be doing my job if I told you." I sighed softly.

"I guess." The Sheriff shrugged.

"What happened?" I asked looking around at the mess outside the bank. Before the Sheriff could answer another car pulled up and two FBI agents climbed out, flashing me and the Sheriff their badges.

"Special Agent Morris. This is Special Agent Valente." Agent Morris said.

"Agent Braddock,CIA." I said flashing them my badge.

"This is our case Braddock, not the CIA's." Morris said firmly.

"Hey," I said throwing my hands up in surrender. "I'm not wanting to step on anyone's feet here. I just want to help catch the sons of bitches. You can have all the credit, and of course, paper work." I smiled. Morris took a moment to study me and then grunted with a nod.

"Fine. Just remember that when we catch them." He added before turning to the Sheriff who was watching it like a child watches their parents argue.

"Gentlemen. These Winchester boys are keeping busy, I hear. What is this, some type of psycho road trip?" The Sheriff asked clearing his throat.

"The second bank, plus the convenience store." I said plainly.

"Couple of days ago, they were dead. We know about what you know." Morris added with a sigh.

"Excuse me." The Sheriff said and walked away.

"Actual serial killers." Valente asked Morris like an excited puppy.

"He new?" I asked with a smirk to Morris.

"Like you wouldn't believe." Morris replied with an eye roll. He turned to Valente as I glanced around the crime scene. There wasn't anything that stood out, simple, shoot and kill. No supernatural elements, well except it was by the doppelgänger. "Crime spree means paperwork. Lots of it. Which you'll be doing."

"We gotta go. Winchesters spotted at a Gas n' Sip. It's about a thousand miles from here." Valente said and I turned to the men."That's fast. Must have flown."

"That or Bat mobile." Morris added as they started to walk to their cars.

"Something like that. See you there Morris." I smirked as I walked over to my Camero and climbed in.

* * *

><p>I got in my car and started to head in the general direction the boys where spotted. I pulled out my phone and conference called Bobby and Sam. I told them everything I had found out about the two other hits the leviathan Sam and Dean had committed. There really wasn't that much to go on, which was frustrating to say the least.<p>

"We got two FBI guys after you, and you were spotted at a Gas and Sip." I said as I drove, my fingers lightly drumming the steering wheel as I thought about it all.

"_Yeah, I thought we had been made. Does that mean they're heading our way?_" Sam asked.

"Fraid so." I sighed. "You get anywhere with killing Chet yet Bobby?"

"_No, nothings working._" Bobby sighed. The line went quiet for a few moments while we all thought of our next line of attack.

"_We think we might know where is going to get hit next._" Sam spoke up.

"Where?" I asked as my grip on the wheel tightened.

"_St. Louis, Missouri._" Dean answered and my heart raced at his voice. Flashback to my memory came into my fore mind and I felt the heat rush into my cheeks.

"_Any idea where?_" Bobby asked snapping me from my school girl crush.

"_Nope, not yet._" Sam answered. "_We're gonna finish up here and head that way._"

"Well I'm closer." I said plainly. "I'll check the town out."

"_Be careful, the doppelgänger will be heading there._" Sam warned.

"Seriously guys, stop telling me to be careful. I can handle it." I sighed slightly frustrated with all the mothering the guys were giving me.

"_Hey Meg?_" Dean asked, his voice so serious, so different from the flirting voice in my newest memory.

"Yes?" I replied.

"_You see us, run, and then call us. Don't take any chances with these bastards._" Dean said firmly.

"Sir, yes, sir!" I said sarcastically and hung up. I smirked to myself, talking to Dean with the newest memory. Well it did confuse my feelings more, I liked it. I liked knowing everything Sam, Dean and Bobby were true. I was happy with Dean, as a couple. I hit play again on my music and headed to St Louis. I wasn't sure what I was going to find when I got to the town, but if I could stop anything I was planning to.

* * *

><p>It was beginning to feel like I was living in my car. For the best part of three days I had drove cross country to try and stop the leviathans dressed as Sam and Dean from killing another person. What was worse then the cramp in my legs or the total lack of sleep was the fact we weren't stopping a single death. The leviathans were a step ahead and it was pissing me off. I hit my thumbs hard against the steering wheel as I pulled down the main street in St. Louis and saw police cars and flashing lights.<p>

"Damn it, too late again!" I growled as I pulled my baby over and reached into the glove compartment for my CIA badge. I tucked my gun into the back of my jeans as I climbed out and headed over to the crime scene. It was a diner called Connors.

"Can I help you?" A officer asked as I approached the yellow tape. A small crowd of people had already formed.

"Agent Braddock, CIA. This another Winchester hit?" I asked flashing my badge. He lifted the tape for me and nodded.

"Looks like it, we've only just got on the scene, you need to talk to Willis, he was first on scene." The officer explained.

"Thanks, where will I find him?" I asked softly.

"Inside, but I warn you Braddock, its a blood bath in there." The officer said before returning to his post. I nodded and walked in. There was dead bodies everywhere. It looked like the diner was busy when the attack hit. I sighed to myself as I looked around and found an officer looking at something. I walked over to him and flashed my badge.

"Braddock CIA, you Willis?" I asked softly.

"Yes ma'am." Willis said with a quick nod.

"Mind telling me what happened here?" I asked softly. He nodded turning the phone he had in his hands to me and hitting play.

"It's all on here..." Willis said going white. I took a spare glove from my back pocket and held the phone in my hands. It was a recording of the killing, people were screaming for help. Dean was stood on the counter lifted up his gun and fired. A lot of the customers cowered on the floor. Sam approached the camera.

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Keep that up! I didn't say you could put that down! I want the whole world to know what Sam and Dean Winchester are capable of." Sam snapped at the guy holding the camera. Then he pointed his gun at a customer.

"No!" A woman cried out before Sam shot her.

"That all of 'em?" Dean asked from on the counter.

"No!" The guy holding the camera cried out.

"All but one." Sam smirked heading towards the guy who held the camera.

"No, please, no." The camera man cried out before Sam shot the guy. Sam picked up the camera and headed back to Dean by the counter. Dean bobbed down so they both fit in view.

"Well, goodnight, St. Louis. You've been a wonderful crowd. Grab your socks and hose, Iowa, 'cause we're headed to you next!" Dean said with a wink before the camera went dead. I took a deep breath and handed it back to Willis.

"Ok, just keep processing the scene. The FBI wont be too long, their gonna want to look at that footage too." I said to Willis who nodded, he looked like he was going to be sick. "You ok?" I asked slightly confused.

"How could they... kill so many people?" Willis asked. "The monsters."

"That they are." I said sadly. "Call me, if you turn anything up." I said passing Willis my card before leaving the diner in a hurry. If they had just got away from St Louis, it gave me a good chance to catch up to them in Iowa and stop them before they killed anyone else.

* * *

><p>I headed down another dark and lonely road on my way to Iowa, I was trying to figure out what they could be hitting in the town. With no memory of what happened to the boys, I had no idea what was so special about the place. My mind raced with possible idea's but really I was pulling straws. I decided to call Bobby and let him know where I was heading.<p>

"_Bobby Singer's phone._" A female answered.

"Who is this?" I asked confused.

"_Jodie Mills, who's this?_" Jodie asked confused.

"Is Bobby there, I really need to speak to him." I said plainly.

"_Um... sure._" Jodie said passing the phone.

"_Singer._" Bobby grunted.

"Who's Jodie?" I asked with a smirk.

"_Who? What? No body._" Bobby said quickly.

"Busted!" I teased with a laugh.

"_This the reason you called girl?_" Bobby grunted and I chuckled to myself.

"I wish." I sighed. "I got to St. Louis..."

"_And?_" Bobby asked.

"They killed everyone in a diner, Connor's diner. Made a mess of it too." I sighed softly.

"_Damn it._" Bobby grunted.

"Exactly and they left a message saying they were heading to Iowa." I added and herd Bobby grunt.

"_Give me a minute, I'll put Sam and Dean in on the call._" Bobby grunted before hitting a few keys. We got Sam and Dean on the line and Bobby started to explain the bad news. "_Choppin' their heads off won't kill 'em, but it'll slow 'em down pretty good. Till they fuse back up, anyhow._"

"_Well, that's something, I guess. I mean, assuming we can even get close to them._" Sam replied with a sigh.

"Yeah." I added sighing too.

"_Believe me, I don't want you walking right up to 'em, either. I'm still looking for something you can shoot at 'em._" Bobby added.

"_Good times. All right, thanks, Bobby._" Dean added and I felt the blush rush into my cheeks again.

"_Hey, you take mayo, right, Bobby?_" A female voice, Jodie's said.

"_You got a chick over there?_" Dean asked and I chuckled.

"_What? No._" Bobby said quickly.

"_Are you even working, Richard Gere?_" Dean teased.

"_Shut up, you eijet._" Bobby muttered and I herd the guys laugh. "_Where are you boys off to next?_"

"_Uh, St. Louis. That's where we-_" Sam started to say. My hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"It's too late." I said shaking my head sadly.

"_They hit St. Louis. Pumpkin-and-Honeybunny'd a diner there._" Bobby added.

"_Connor's Diner?_" Dean asked.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" I asked confused.

"_Lucky guess. All right, so much for that._" Dean sighed.

"_I guess we're off to, uh... to Ankeny, Iowa._" Sam added.

"I'll be there by sun up." I said, checking a passing road sign.

"_Remember-_" Bobby started to say.

"Call if I see Sam or Dean, do not engage. I got it guys really!" I sighed cutting him off.

"_Right._" Bobby said firmly.

"_Call us if you get anything else._" Sam said.

"Ditto." I added.

"_You got it._" Bobby said and hung up.

"See you Ankeny boys." I said softly.

"_Hopefully not._" Sam added before hanging up.

* * *

><p>I pulled into Ankeny, Iowa by sun rise just like I thought. I grabbed a few hours sleep in the back of my baby and then started to wonder the town to check it out. I had been wondering the town the majority of the town and found no signs of either good or evil Sam and Dean. I was starting to wonder if they were going to show at all. I walked down one of the main streets, keeping my eyes out for the Winchesters when my phone rang. I pulled it out.<p>

"Hello?" I asked plainly. I didn't recognise the number.

"_Braddock, where are you?_" Morris asked, he sounded impatient.

"Around and about, you?" I asked sweetly.

"_You're in Iowa aren't you?_" Morris asked.

"Am I?" I asked innocently.

"_Don't play games with me Braddock! I know you are! You're jumping the gun on my case! You think you can steal it from me? Give CIA the credit! Think again! I will be there by tomorrow and then we will sort this out! You are not stealing my case!_" Morris snapped at me.

"Morris baby, you gotta learn to relax and let it go." I smirked to myself. "There is always another serial killer to take down." I teased.

"_I mean it Braddock. You steal this and I will-_" Morris started to say.

"Morris I don't want the paper work." I said dryly. "Trust me, I just want to catch these bastards before anyone else gets hurt. Ok?"

"_You steal this from me and-_" Morris started to say.

"Yeah, yeah yeah. Just find me tomorrow." I said and hung up. The man was annoying and there was no way I was planning to let him find Sam and Dean. Evil or otherwise. I was still waiting on Bobby's kill all and I knew I was running out of time. I was about to stuff my phone into my pocket when I saw the Impala roll down the road past me. As if on queue my phone rang and it was Bobby.

"Tell me the boys got the Impala back." I said watching the car disappear around a corner.

"_No. They've been arrested._" Bobby replied.

"Great!" I said sarcastically, rushing over to my parked Camero.

"_Tell me about it._" Bobby added.

"Well I'll head over, see if I can't bust them out or something. The FBI will be here in the morning, so we're working on a tight frame here." I sighed, getting into my baby.

"_I know._" Bobby sighed.

"Any luck on killing them yet?" I asked starting the car.

"_None yet, I'll call if I figure anything out._" Bobby replied.

"Ok, wish me luck." I half joked.

"_Be safe. If it looks like you can't do much, get out there, call me._" Bobby grunted.

"I will." I lied.

"_I know you Megan. Just, at least, pretend like you mean it._" Bobby added and I laughed softly.

"I'll try and call, better?" I asked trying to sound as genuine as I could.

"_A little. Now go save those eijets._" Bobby muttered before hanging up. I took a deep breath and drove to the police station as the sun was setting.

* * *

><p>I pulled into the police station and it was dark. I really didn't have much of a plan, I was winging it. I grabbed my gun, tucking it down the back of my jeans. I grabbed my family knife and slid it down the side of my boot and then I grabbed my badge. I was hoping the small town cops would release Sam and Dean into my hands. I was hoping anyway. I pulled my biker jacket on and headed into the police station. As I walked through the front door I went on high alert. There wasn't any noise at all, the place looked empty. I walked over to the front desk and looked around.<p>

"Sheriff? Officer? Anyone?" I yelled looking around and then my eyes fell on the dead, half eaten body of a police officer. I pulled my gun and took another look around. "Super..." I muttered to myself. I climbed over the front desk and made my way over to the body. I checked the pulse for good measure but the guy was dead. His skin wasn't that cold, which meant the leviathans were close. "Balls." I muttered to myself as I came to the realisation. I checked the police man for keys to the cells. If Sam and Dean were locked up in here, they were sitting ducks for the leviathans. I had to get them out. I fished in his pocket when Sam walked around the corner. "Sam! Where's Dean?" I asked finding no keys.

"I'm not Sam." Sam said walking over to me.

"Leviathan?" I asked standing next to the leviathan Sam. He nodded, and I nodded at the same time. "Typical. Damn it." I sighed.

"You know, I wanted to talk to you." Sam said swatting the gun out of my hand as if it was nothing. It went flying and landed the other side of the room.

"Awesome. Not only am I going to die, you're going to bore the shit out of my last few moments on earth." I said and Sam slapped me hard, busting my lip. I spat out the blood and turned to the leviathan Sam.

"I don't get you." Sam said grabbing my arm and throwing me into one of the chairs. "I mean. You stick with these morons. Why? All they ever do is fight and bitch about the other to you! If poor little Sammy isn't having Girl Interrupted moments, he's guilt tripping you to stay around! Then Dean! Oh god do not get me started with your relationship with that dick! I mean have you two herd of Romeo and Juliet?" Leviathan Sam scoffed as he paced in front of my chair.

"Hey, I can't remember any of it." I said plainly.

"Exactly! You don't remember how on and off again you guys were, yet you stick around? I mean I know right now he's been pushing you away. But that's Dean all over. Sadomasochist." Leviathan Sam scoffed. I just looked at him confused. "Oh that is adorable really! You don't know? You really don't!"

"Just kill me already!" I snapped and got another slap to the face.

"Dean loves you. Like biblically loves you. You have the power to crush him and so many other weak people, yet you don't. You act oblivious to the truth. You just waste your existence." Sam said and I couldn't take it all in. I mean for all I knew the Leviathan Sam was lying but, when I was around dean I felt something. It wasn't a crazy idea to think he felt it too.

"Bite me." I snapped feeling a rage build in me.

"Gladly!" Sam smirked. His mouth changed to a leviathan mouth and he was about to bite into me when he herd something. He picked me up, dragging me to my feet as Dean walked around the corner.

"Sammy?" Dean asked and then realised Sam had hold of my arm. "Not Sammy." Dean stated. Sam tossed me over towards Dean, smashing the pair of us into the wall with an almighty crash. I dropped to the floor and for a few minutes the world was spinning and I had no idea where I was. Dean scrambled to his feet and used his elbow to break the glass in the emergency axe. I scrambled to my feet and felt dizzy, I lent back against the wall, pulling my knife to protect myself. Dean grabbed the axe and held it ready to attack leviathan Sam.

"Cute. Really think you can get close enough to use it?" Leviathan Sam asked with a smirk.

"Not until you're burning." Dean smirked back before a Sheriff tossed a bucket of something onto the evil leviathan Sam. Suddenly Sam started to sizzle and black smoke rose from his skin. It was like watching the wicked witch getting the bucket of water thrown on her. He was melting in front of my eyes.

"Aargh! Aargh!" Sam cried out trying to wipe the chemicals off. Dean swung out the axe and cut leviathan Sam's head off, the black liquid ran from his neck as the body landed on the floor. Dean turned to me quickly, looking panicked.

"Are you ok? Did he hurt you?" Dean asked holding my face and running his thumb over my bust lip.

"I... I'll live, we need to get to Sam." I said still feeling a little out of it with the bang to the head. Dean frowned at me slightly, brushing some of my hair off my face.

"You got a cut, it looks nasty, maybe you should-" Dean started to say, still holding my face in his hands.

"Forget it. I'm in this." I said looking him dead in the eyes.

"Alright." Dean nodded and turned to the Sheriff. "You got any more?"

"Just this." The Sheriff said passing Dean another bucket.

"Great. Stay behind us." Dean said passing me the bucket. "You throw this on evil me and then I'll chop its head off."

"Great plan." I smirked before we headed to the interrogation room to find Sam.

* * *

><p>We rushed over to the other side of the building and Dean glanced in the room. He didn't look too happy with what he saw.<p>

"On three! One, two, three!" Dean said pulling the door wide open. I rushed in and threw the liquid in the bucket on leviathan Dean. Somehow he managed to throw me backwards and I landed on my backside just in time to see Dean cut his evil twins head off. The Sheriff helped me back onto my feet and I went a little dizzy, I had to grab hold of the table.

"Well, that felt good." Dean smirked, snaking an arm around my waist as the Sheriff unlocked Sam's handcuffs.

"So... the FBI is on the way." The Sheriff said nervously.

"Yeah, listen, about that..." Dean sighed.

"Whatever I can do... Especially if it involves lying about everything I just saw." The Sheriff said with a small smile.

"Good. I was hoping you could help us kind of...be dead. You know, quote unquote." Dean said holding me up still. I watched Sam. There was something wrong with him. His face, his expression.

"Yeah. Yeah, I should be able to swing that. All right." The Sheriff replied with a small nod.

"Come on, let's grab a mop." Dean said and started to lead me out of the room. We noticed Sam wasn't moving and Dean turned back to Sam. I held onto the wall as the world was still spinning too much for me. "Sammy? You okay?" Sam looked over to Dean for a few seconds and nods before looking away.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Sam muttered to the table.

"Let's go." Dean said before walking me out of the room. He sat me the edge of one of the table and brushed the hair out of my face again.

"Stop mothering me." I mumbled, swatting his hand. Dean grabbed my hand with his other and held it, looking at the cut.

"You need stitches." Dean said looking from the cut into my eyes. My heart raced looking into his green eyes. The leviathan's words bounced around my head. _He loves you. Biblically._ That mixed with the newest memory just pushed all the fears I had about Dean away. "And there is no way you can drive, you've got concussion." Dean said with a warm smile.

"I.. I'm fine." I said but my words were mumbled and I knew I had concussion. I just didn't want to leave my Camero behind.

"Look, I'll stitch you up, and drive that pile of rust Camero. Ok?" Dean asked giving me another warm smile. His thumb brushed over my cheek which was red and sore from the slapping leviathan Sam gave me.

"One condition." I said blinking a few times to stay awake.

"Shoot." Dean said plainly.

"Kiss me." I said seriously. Dean looked shocked for a few moments then smiled.

"You really have banged your head sweetheart." Dean smirked and started to move away. I grabbed his face and gently pulled it back to mine.

"Kiss me." I said just above a whisper looking into his eyes.

"This is-" Dean started to say when I tried my best to glare at him. "Ok. Ok, don't need to ask Dean Winchester twice." Dean chuckled and moved even closer. He put one hand on my good cheek and rested the other at the back of my neck. He pressed his lips against mine softly, being careful not to press too hard on the bit that had been split open. I closed my eyes and felt every second of the kiss. The way his lips felt against mine, the way his almost stubble brushed against my skin. The scent of Dean, washing over me, making me feel safe and loved. Every last detail I tried to remember and process. He pulled away and I opened my eyes. My heart raced as I opened my eyes the most perfect shade of green eyes met my own. I smiled and Dean smiled back.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"Thank you." Dean smirked back and then I pushed Dean away and ran to the nearest toilet.

* * *

><p>I threw my guts up and cleaned myself up. I was washing my face in cold water when Dean walked into the toilets.<p>

"Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for." Dean joked, leaning on the wall by the hand towels.

"I hate concussions." I grumbled as I swirled my mouth out for the last time. I splashed some more water on my face and Dean passed me some paper towels.

"It's a bitch." Dean chuckled. I tossed the towel in the bin and felt light headed again. I held onto the side of the sink but in moments Dean had his arm wrapped around my waist.

"Don't think I need your help. I can walk by myself you know." I mumbled as we walked out of the toilet.

"I know." Dean smirked.

"I can." I protested sounding like a sleepy three year old.

"I believe you." Dean said and led me to the Camero. The Sheriff was passing Sam a box as we reached them.

"I hope I never, ever see you people again." The Sheriff said before walking off.

"Awesome. Trade?" Dean asked to Sam. He passed Dean the box as Sam slipped a hand under my arm and led me to the back seat of my Camero.

"Easy." Sam said helping me in.

"Thanks Sam." I said with a soft smile.

"Any time Meg." Sam said returning the smile before climbing in the front.

* * *

><p>I must have fallen asleep. I woke as we parked on a pier. I looked around and saw Sam climbing out of the car as Dean turned the engine off.<p>

"Who said you could drive my baby?" I asked and went to rub my head when Dean swatted my hand away. "Ow! What the?"

"You've got stitches. Don't pick." Dean said and smiled. "You let me drive this pile of rust." He added before climbing out the car. I climbed out the back and fallowed him to the boot of my baby were he went into a bag and pulled out the two Leviathan heads wrapped in plastic. I noticed a small yellow My Little Pony and smirked.

"That yours?" I asked pointing to the pony.

"Shut up. How you feeling?" Dean asked me. I lent on the Camero and shook my head as the fog in my mind lifted slightly.

"Good. Better. I... I don't really remember much after the leviathan Sam threw me into you though." I said rubbing the back of my neck. It was a little bit of a fib. I remembered kissing Dean well asking him to kiss me.

"Oh really?" Dean asked with a smile that said everything.

"Yeah... what'd I miss?" I asked and glanced to Sam who was stood looking out to the water. "He ok?" I asked throwing a thumb in Sam's direction. Dean shrugged at me.

"Are you sure you want to dump these things? I'm thinking they might actually come in handy down the road. What do you think?" Dean asked Sam, shaking the head slightly. Sam rested his arms on the room of my Camero and didn't reply.

"Sam?" I asked softly. Sam still didn't reply.

"Hey. What? What is it? Talk." Dean asked closing the boot.

"Nothing." Sam sighed.

"Well, that's convincing. Did monster-us give you the jeebs, huh? 'Cause I gotta be honest- I ain't looking in the mirror for- for a while myself." Dean asked with a shiver. I watched as Sam stood up straight and turned to face Dean.

"Okay. You really want to know what's wrong?" Sam asked sounding annoyed.

"Yeah. Yeah, you know my motto- here to help." Dean said with a small smile and I shook my head at him.

"_Here to help_. Kind of like you helped Amy?" Sam asked and instantly it broke. Whatever brotherly relationship they had, vanished. I saw the raw pain in Sam's eyes as he asked. I saw the agony in Dean's as he tried to form some sort of answer.

"Listen, Sam..." Dean said softly.

"Don't- don't lie to me again. No, don't even talk to me. Yeah, I can't." Sam said going in the back of my Camero and pulling out his bags. He hitched one on his shoulder and held onto the other. "You know what, Dean?" Sam asked as he started to walk away. "I can't."

Dean took a few steps towards Sam and I could see the both of them hurting. I wanted to help, but there really wasn't anything I could do. I couldn't help Dean justify killing Amy, I didn't think she deserved to die. And I couldn't be mad at Dean. Not any more. I knew he thought he was protecting his family.

"You can't what?" Dean asked confused and hurt.

"I can't talk to you right now! Dean..." Sam said still with his back to him. Sam turned around and face us both. He was so mad and so upset at the same time. "I can't even be around you right now!"

"Sam." I said softly and took a step closer.

"Did, did you know?" Sam asked me looking so hurt.

"Sam, I -" I started to say.

"Why didn't you tell me? I thought, why Megan?" Sam asked me and I had to look away his gaze was killing me with guilt.

"I asked her not to say anything." Dean said to Sam. Sam shook his head and looked back at me.

"You should have told me." Sam said and looked away.

"I'm sorry." I said softly.

"Me too." Sam said and hitched his bag on his back.

"Okay, so-" Dean started to ask.

"I think you should just go on without me." Sam said and no one spoke. No one knew what to say to fix it. If it could be fixed. Dean nodded softly. "Go." Sam added pointing behind us.

"All right. Sorry, Sam." Dean said softly, throwing his hands in the air. We climbed into the Camero and Sam walked away from us.

* * *

><p>Ok so what do you guys all think? As always please, please just spend two seconds to review and let me know! Otherwise thanks for reading! =D<p> 


	8. A Week With Dean Winchester

Firstly, big sorry, I've been trying to update this for ages! I really had the worst mental block ever! I had this idea and another AU chapter planned out for months now. I knew exactly what was going to happen, and why. But then when it came to adding meat to the bones, my brain screamed at me and shut down my Christmas. So I watched my new Season 6 of SPN on DVD and well the muse came rushing back ;) [It's a sucker for Dean!]  
>Second- Happy New Year Everyone!<br>Third- big shout outs to, Asya55, Sam and Dean Crazy Ass Wench, Klandergraf2007, and, xxjempa1112luvsSpnxx for the awesome reviews! Thanks dudes!  
>Anyway- enjoy and please review!<p>

* * *

><p>Dean drove away. Sam wanted to be left.<p>

I sat in the passenger side of my Camero staring out into the blur of nature that passed by as I processed it all. Sam had found out exactly what had happened to Amy and man was he pissed and hurt. He couldn't face being around Dean, and me. I kept it from Sam just as much as Dean. I felt bad for that. I truly did, but at the same time, I knew it wasn't my place to say anything. I remembered Sam's face as we drove away. Dean had his eyes glued on the road, hands strangling the steering wheel, the whites of his knuckles showing. I remember glancing into the side mirror and catching Sam turn to the car. It was clear he had tears in his eyes, yet at the same time, his face showed how determined he was to be alone. It cut me up inside, seeing his face like that.

It had been hours since we left Sam, the sun had set a life time ago and we were driving in darkness. Neither of us had spoken since we left Sam. Dean was taking as much time as I did to process it all. I glanced to Dean and watched him. His eyes were on the road, his hands on the wheel, but he wasn't in the car with me. He was in his mind. Deep in thought, my guess, replaying the events of the day over and over again. I know I was.

"He'll be ok." I said breaking the vow of silence we had going in my baby. Dean blinked and shifted in his seat a little, clearing his throat.

"I know." He muttered, keeping his eyes glued on the road.

"I know you know, I'm just verbalising it so we all know." I said and smirked as Dean glanced at me. He sighed softly and nodded a little.

"Good." He said with the smallest of smiles.

"Alright then." I nodded firmly and turned on my music. Bullet For My Valentine started to play and I bobbed my head along with the music. "_The night had started here we go-" _Dean suddenly switched off my music. I turned to Dean raising an eyebrow. Dean smirked at me before shaking his head.

"Ugh, how can you listen to that crap?" Dean asked plainly.

"That is not crap Winchester. That is four Welshmen who know how to make rock music." I informed Dean with a nod and reached to turn the song back on. Dean swatted my hand away and fished in glove pocket. "What are you looking for?" I asked confused as I watched Dean search. He pulled out a CD and swapped it over.

"This." Dean smirked and hit play. Suddenly Metallica started to play. I turned the music off and now it was Dean's turn to look at me confused.

"You call that music?" I scoffed shaking my head.

"What? Yeah! It's so much better than your crap Welsh rubbish!" Dean cried out and went to turn it back on. I slapped his hand away from the CD player.

"No way." I said shaking my head, a smirk on my face. Dean pouted for a moment then a devilish grin crossed his lips.

"Remember the rule?" Dean asked giving me an evil smirk.

"Rule?" I asked confused.

"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cake hole!" Dean smirked turning Metallica back on and moshing to it as he drove.

"But it's my car!" I argued over the music.

"Sorry, can't hear you!" Dean yelled back turning up the music. I glared at him for a few minutes then couldn't help but laugh. Dean was making duck faces and strutting his head around like a chicken. I think he thought it was good, me, I just found it hilarious. Dean smiled at me and I felt my heart race a little. It was such a warm, innocent smile. He had dimples in his cheeks and the smile lit up his whole face. It made his green eyes brighter some how. I felt the heat creep up into my cheeks as I looked away. The man had more effect on me than I was willing to be known. The more I started to remember about him, about who I was, who we were together, the more I was attracted to him. The fact I asked him to kiss me showed that more than anything. I mindlessly ran a finger over my lips as if I could still feel his lips pressed against mine. The softness and tenderness of the kiss. The way his scent rushed around me, protecting me from the big bad world. I hated to admit it, I always thought of myself as an independent kind of woman, but I liked the way Dean made me feel protected, safe.

* * *

><p>We drove for a few more hours when it started to get too late to drive. Dean had thankfully turned down the Metallica enough so that we could chat a little. I was curled up in a ball with my head resting against the window, fighting to stay awake. I noticed Dean yawn and took it as a sign.<p>

"We need to stop." I sighed pushing some hair out of my face.

"All my cards are going to be flagged by the leviathans." Dean said glancing at me. I shuffled in the seat a little then went under the passenger side seat. I pulled out a small box and unlocked the combination pad lock. "What is that?" Dean asked glancing at me.

"A box." I said plainly and opened it up. Inside there was about two thousand dollars, a bunch of fake cards and some other things.

"Whoa, where did you get your hands on that much cash?" Dean asked as he looked at the money. I took some out and stuffed it into my pocket, before locking the box and putting it back where it came from.

"I play darts, poker... I can't help it if everyone I play thinks I'm an easy target." I said with a shrug and Dean chuckled.

"You husseled them?" He asked with an impressed and approving smile.

"Husseled is such a harsh word. I mealy taught them not to judge a book by it's cover." I smirked a little.

"And the cards?" Dean asked smirking at me.

"Emergencies. They were for times when my usual aliases wouldn't work. I only use them when I really, really need to. I doubt the leviathans know about any of them." I said softly.

"Well there should be a motel soon, I'll pull over there." Dean said speeding up the Camero slightly.

* * *

><p>A few miles later we pulled into the next motel we spotted. It wasn't anything too fancy, just a nice place to lay our heads for the night. Dean parked my Camero and we climbed out grabbing a few bags. We walked into the front office and was greeted by an older man sat reading a book. He was in his late fifties with grey hair and glasses. He finished his page before looking up at us.<p>

"What can I do for you?" He asked sighing softly.

"Can we get two rooms for the night?" Dean asked plainly.

"Nope." The man replied without even blinking.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused, the sign had said there was rooms available.

"We only have one room, it's a single, if you want it." The old man said looking straight at Dean. In turn, Dean looked at me worried. I rubbed the back of neck and fought not to yawn again.

"We could keep driving." Dean whispered softly to me. But the problem was he looked as tired as I was. We were both so tired and needed to rest in a bed, even if it was only for a few hours. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"No, come on... we're both grown ups. We can figure this out." I said with a small smile. The truth was I wasn't sure how to share with Dean. Since my memories had started to trickle back, my opinion of him had changed, again. I was definitely attracted to him, there was something there I liked. But a part of me was holding me back. A part that was telling me I was safer alone. Dean nodded slowly and turned back to the old man.

"We'll take the room for the night." Dean sighed softly.

"Thought you might." The old man smirked before we filled out the paper work. We paid for the room and walked back out into the cold nights air.

"He played us." I said grumpily as we walked to the room.

"Yeah, but we need the rest." Dean said with a small yawn as we cross the car park.

"Stupid old man..." I mumbled hitching my back pack on my shoulder more.

* * *

><p>We reached the motel room and Dean unlocked it, holding the door open for me. I smiled at him as I walked in. My heart jumped into my throat as I realised just how small the room was. There was a single bed, a chair, and a bathroom and - that was it. There really wasn't any spare room. I dropped my bags at the bottom of the bed and turned to Dean nervously.<p>

"Well... this is cosy..." I said with a nervous laugh. Dean took a good look around before dropping his bags next to mine.

"It's only for one night..." Dean sighed looking at me and trying to give me a reassuring smile.

"Yeah." I said softly, tucking some hair behind my ear nervously. "Yeah, just one night..." I mumbled to myself.

"I could do with a shower..." Dean said nodding towards the bathroom behind me.

"Oh, ok... I'll.. um.." I said looking around the room helplessly. It was really awkward and I wasn't really helping that much. "You want me to leave?" I asked confused as to what to do for the best.

"No, it's late." Dean said grabbing a few things out of his bag. "Why don't you just get ready for bed."

"Are you sure... I mean-" I started to ramble when Dean put a hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. My heart raced a little at his touch and even more when I looked into his beautiful green eyes.

"We are both adults, we can share a bed. I'll even put the pillow between us, ok?" Dean asked softly.

"Sorry." I sighed out as some of the tension left me. "I'm acting like an idiot..." I admitted biting my bottom lip.

"You're not, trust me." Dean chuckled pulling me into a small hug. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his chest.

"Thanks for not being weird." I muttered into his chest.

"It's what I'm here for." Dean joked as we pulled apart. "And now I'm going to shower. Wont be too long." He said walking past me to the bathroom. I watched him walk away and then collapsed onto the edge of the bed. My heart was racing and all I could think about was being so close to him. How good he smelt, how his heart beat made me feel safe, how all I wanted to do was kiss his perfect lips. I groaned inwardly and pushed all my hair off my face. _How old are you again? Teenager? I didn't think so! Get a grip Megan! Dean and you... there is no Dean and you! You just need to-_ My internal argument was cut short as I herd the shower turn on and my thoughts turned to how Dean must look in the shower. Needless to say, my heart raced and my blood rushed through my veins.

* * *

><p>I sat enjoying my mental image for a few minutes before realising I needed to change. I dived into my bag and pulled out some shorts and a grey t-shirt that was too big for me. I wasn't sure if the t-shirt was Dean's or Sam's but a while ago it had appeared in my bag and I refused to give it back. I dumped my jacket on the floor and pulled the t-shirt over my head, my side was still a little sore from being thrown into the wall by the leviathan Sam. I grabbed the over sized t-shirt and eased it on.<p>

"Damn it." I hissed as I knocked my side slightly. I quickly changed into my shorts and folded the rest of my clothes up as I herd the water stop. A few minutes later in a plume of steam Dean walked out of the shower in just a towel. His hair was damp and messy, and a few drops of water rolled down his chest. The man had a great six pack, even with the tattoo on his chest, he was sexy and he knew it. The way his muscles tightened as if he could feel my gaze on his skin, the curves and the oh so yummy way the stomach muscles made a clear line down to his-

"Enjoying the view?" Dean chuckled making me blink out of my thoughts. Instantly I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I looked away.

"I was just..." I mumbled picking up my toothbrush and paste. Dean laughed some more and I looked back at him, he was so cute. He looked too innocent stood there in just a towel.

"Hey, isn't that my t-shirt?" Dean asked pointing to my chest. I glanced down and a small smirk crossed my lips.

"Maybe." I smirked walking past him to the bathroom and closing the door behind me. Again my heart was racing like a loved up puppy. I felt stupid for feeling the way I did around a man, I really didn't know as well as I should have. I washed my face in cool water and cleaned my teeth. I was half way through cleaning my teeth when Dean walked in with his own toothbrush. He grabbed my paste and started to clean his teeth next to me. I glanced at him and he smirked at me.

"You're an idiot." I teased rolling my eyes a little after we finished brushing our teeth.

"And you have the hots for me." Dean said plainly. I choked out a laugh and shook my head that fast I got double vision.

"No way!" I cried out in protest before walking back into the small room.

"You do." Dean teased watching me get all flustered.

"Nope." I said shaking my head a little slower this time.

"Trust me Megan, I know women, and I know when one has the hots for me." Dean said almost too seriously. I turned to him and smirked.

"Dean, I think your heads getting bigger. You might need to see someone about that." I joked.

"I know you dig me." Dean said with a warm smile as he climbed into the bed.

"No, you just want me to dig you." I corrected him as I climbed in too and grabbed a pillow to place between us.

"I know it." Dean admitted with a grin.

"Please..." I scoffed a little.

"You were checking me out." Dean pointed out.

"I..." I was lost for words and Dean pointed a finger to me.

"See!" He smirked. "Plus you asked me to kiss you back at the police station."

"I had concussion, I didn't know what I was saying!" I said trying to defend myself.

"So you remember?" Dean asked with a look in his eyes. I shifted slightly in the bed and cleared my throat.

"Good night Dean." I said laying down and turning my back on him. I herd his chuckle as he laid down too, turning the light out.

"Night Megan." He said with a smirk in his voice.

* * *

><p>I slept well that night. No weird dreams, no waking up in cold sweats. Just a happy, normal night's sleep. I woke in the morning and looked around, I couldn't see Dean anywhere. I was a little confused.<p>

"Dean? You here?" I shouted sitting up a little and peering into the bathroom. I got no answer and couldn't see any signs of him. I looked around again and noticed his clothes were gone. I shrugged my shoulders theorising that he had gone for food. I grabbed some clean clothes and went to the bathroom. I closed the door and took my clothes off, turning on the hot shower. I stepped into the stream of water and sighed as I instantly started to feel at peace. The warm water rushed over my skin, soothing all the cuts and bruises from the fight with the leviathan Sam. It was heaven.

_I kissed Dean. I kissed Dean and it was good._ I smirked running my fingertips over my lips as if I could still feel his lips pressed against mine. _I love how he makes me feel. The rush I get from being around him. I'm like a school girl here, catching glances, enjoying vivid mental images... damn I'm falling for him._

The water started to cool down and that was my indication to get out. I turned the taps off and grabbed a towel wrapping it around my body. I climbed out of the shower and herd a voice.

"You need to leave! Leave! Leave this place! Now!" A woman's voice yelled from around me. I looked around but I was completely alone.

"Hello?" I asked as I noticed my breath, the room had gone cold. Too cold.

"Leave!" A woman screamed at me as she appeared in the bathroom. She looked like she was from the 1960's, right down to the hair cut and flower print dress. She rushed at me with so much anger in her eyes. "LEAVE!" She screamed rushing through me and making me dizzy. I fell to the floor with a thud, landing on my backside. I looked around and she was gone again.

"What the hell?" I asked myself, pulling myself up onto my feet.

* * *

><p>I quickly got changed and practically ran out of the bathroom, looking for my phone. I grabbed it just as the door to the motel opened and Dean walked in with a couple of coffee's and a paper bag.<p>

"We have a problem." Both me and Dean said at the same time.

"What?" Again we said at the same time.

"I said we have a problem." We said in unison.

"You first." Dean said putting the food and drinks on the bed side drawers.

"There's a ghost in the room or the motel. I'm not sure which." I said sighing.

"A ghost?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah, a woman who looked like an extra out of Austin Powers just rushed me in the bathroom yelling at me to leave." I explained taking one of the coffee's and taking a sip.

"Are you ok?" Dean asked slightly worried.

"Yeah, just went a little dizzy." I admitted looking at the coffee. Dean moved to bob down in front of me. He peeled off the badge over my stitches and took a look at them.

"She bust a few stitches." Dean sighed softly.

"Awesome." I said sarcastically. "What was your good news?" I asked taking another sip of the coffee.

"You're not going to like it..." Dean said standing up.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked confused.

"It's best for you to see for yourself." Dean said holding his hand out to me. I slowly took it and fallowed Dean out to the car park. We walked over to my Camero and I saw red.

"WHO DID THIS!" I screamed as I looked at my baby. Someone had slashed all her tyres. She was on her rims on the lot. I marched around her, checking each tire, getting more and more pissed as I saw the tyres.

"I found her this way when I went for breakfast." Dean explained. I was fuming. I was ready to kill someone.

"Aww baby, who did this to you?" I asked stroking my baby as the old man who worked in the office walked past us.

"Car trouble?" He asked Dean.

"Car trouble? Car trouble? Someone has bloody ripped my baby to shreds! That isn't car trouble! That is some, some, some sick individual messing with my baby!" I snapped walking towards the old man. Dean grabbed me by the waist and pulled me backwards to him, as the old man looked scared for his life.

"She just really loves the car." Dean said putting a hand over my mouth before I could say any more.

"I see." The old man shrugged looking at Dean. "We've been having some trouble with the local teenagers, they think it's fun."

"Mmm mhmh mmm!" I said with Dean's hand still over my mouth.

"What she say?" The old man asked confused.

"You really don't want to know..." Dean chuckled a little nervously. The old man took one more look at us before walking off. Dean took his hand off my mouth and let me go.

"I am going to kill whoever did this to my baby!" I growled turning to Dean.

"I truly believe that, but for now, we need to get her some new tyres." Dean explained softly.

"I hate this place!" I groaned as we walked back to the motel room.

"Well this day just keeps getting better and better!" I yelled throwing my phone onto the bed. Dean was sat in the only other chair in the room, flicking through a magazine.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked confused. I huffed and folded my arms over my chest.

"Apparently they wont be able to get the tyres for my baby until tomorrow night at the earliest, that's if the place is open!" I growled, scowling at Dean.

"This isn't my fault!" Dean said throwing his hands in the air.

"I know, sorry." I said still sounding grumpy. "Just someone messed with my baby..."

"I know." Dean said getting up and crossing the small space to sit next to me on the bed. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him so my head was resting on his chest. "I would do anything necessary if anyone touched my baby." Dean added.

"I know you understand." I said with a small sad smile.

"I understand you." Dean admitted with a warm smile. Suddenly all the lights became brilliantly bright. The world felt like it was spinning off it's axis and I felt like I was going to throw up. I let out a cry of pain and I closed my eyes tight and held my head. I faintly herd Dean's worried voice as he arms wrapped around my body.

* * *

><p>"<em>I understand you." Dean said rubbing my shoulders as I stood looking up at the full moon. It was so beautiful and memorizing. I couldn't help but watch it for hours at a time.<em>

"_I glad someone does..." I sighed feeling the pull of the moon._

"_Hey, hey look at me." Dean said softly, I turned and looked at him. He was stood in his jeans topless, his hair a mess and his eyes showed how sleepy he was. "You're not-"_

"_A monster?" I asked softly, tilting my head to one side._

"_Well I was going to say freak." Dean shrugged with a smirk. "But whatever. The point is, you are Megan O'Connor. You are the most, sexist woman I haver ever met." Dean said placing a small kiss on my lips as his arms wrapped around my waist. "The funniest. Smartest, most kick ass woman ever." Dean added kissing me again. The wolf side of me stirred with his attention and the self doubt, the lack of confidence I had disappeared._

"_You're not so bad yourself." I smirked returning the kiss, making it more heated as I played with his tongue. I felt Dean's arms wrap around me tighter, pulling me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands went to my thighs tugging a little._

"_I l-" Dean started to say when I shook my head._

"_We promised we weren't going to say it." I said cutting him off. Dean smirked at me, tugging at my legs again. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he held my backside._

"_Fine." Dean smirked before placing a quick kiss on my lips. "You wanna take this back to the bed?" He asked in a seductive voice. I smirked before kissing his neck, deep throaty groans escaping his lips at every little nip I placed._

"_Yes please..." I whispered into his ear before sucking on it. I felt Dean shiver under my touch and my heart raced._

* * *

><p>The light died back down to normal as the world slowed down to normal again. The memory settled into my brain as I felt Dean's hands on my shoulders, his voice asking me something. I blinked a few times and looked around, realising that I was in a motel room.<p>

"Megan? Can you hear me?" Dean asked from the side of me. My head was like cotton wool as I turned to him slightly confused. I blinked a few more times and then everything came back into focus.

"Dean." I said and my nose felt wet. I wiped it with the back of my hand and saw the blood. "Damn it, not again..." I sighed looking at my hand.

"Not again?" Dean asked confused. "Megan, what just happened?"

"Oh." I replied looking up and seeing the panic in Dean's green eyes. I shifted slightly in my seat and gave him a small sheepish smile. "Hey Dean, didn't notice you there." I half joked. Dean didn't smile.

"What the hell just happened Megan? One minute we're talking, the next, your crying out in pain and having a nose bleed." Dean said watching me.

"It's not what you think." I said grabbing a tissue and wiping away the blood.

"I don't know what I'm thinking!" Dean cried out watching me. He stood up and paced a little watching me closely.

"Look, let me wash up, then I'll explain everything. I promise." I said getting up on my feet. Dean folded his arms over his chest and watched me closely. "Stop watching me like I'm going to-"

"Fall over?" Dean said butting in.

"Yeah." I huffed walking over to the bathroom. I shook my head at him before turning on the cold water. I glanced at myself in the mirror and I didn't look that bad. Sure my nose had bled and I looked pale, but compared to the last time it happened. I looked damn right human. I splashed the cold water onto my face a few times, washing away all the blood. It felt nice, the cold water on my warm skin.

"We are going to talk about this." Dean said firmly from the other room. I rolled my eyes as I stood up straight.

"I know." I groaned. Suddenly the air felt ice cold and the bathroom door slammed shut. "Dean!" I cried out as I raced to the door trying to open it. Dean was banging on the other side, trying to force it to open as well.

"Megan! Meg! Are you ok?" Dean yelled through the door.

"I'm ok! Get this door open!" I cried pulling on it with all my strength but it wouldn't budge.

"I'm trying! Hold on!" Dean cried threw the door. I felt another presence in the room and turned around slowly. Sure enough the 60's woman was stood there, just looking at me. Her eye were fuming as she stared at me.

"I told you to leave!" She screamed at me. "You didn't listen!"

"Hey lady, I'm trying to leave, you open this door and-" I started to say quickly.

"You're next!" She screamed racing towards me and rushing through my body again. I took a deep breath in and felt like I couldn't breath for a few seconds, then, like before I fell to the floor with an almighty thud as the door opened and Dean nearly fell over me.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked getting me to my feet and walking me back over to the bed.

"I'm next... whatever that means." I shrugged looking up at him. Dean looked worried, and to be honest I wasn't feeling too great about it all either.

* * *

><p>Dean made me describe the woman I had seen in the bathroom, then we decided to do some research in the local restaurant. I was sat opposite Dean on my laptop searching up the history of the place. Nothing was jumping out at me, and definitely nothing from the 1960's.<p>

"How's it going?" I asked glancing at Dean who was reading something.

"Nowhere fast, you?" He asked glancing at me.

"Ditto." I sighed softly.

"I just gotta hit the head. Don't go anywhere." Dean said getting up.

"Sir, yes, sir." I joked with a fake salute. Dean just rolled his eyes and walked off. I scanned a couple more pages on a web site I was looking at when my phone rang. "O'Connor." I said not even checking the caller I.D.

"_Um, hey Meg."_ Sam said and I jumped a little.

"Hey Sam. Are, are you ok?" I asked quickly.

"_Yeah. I just... Are you guys ok?"_ Sam asked sounding sad, rather than angry.

"Yeah, just hunting a ghost. Where-" I started to ask.

"_I don't want you guys to know. I'm still pissed at Dean. I can't believe he lied to me again. I can't believe he killed Amy."_ Sam said coldly.

"He thought he was helping." I said softly. "You know he just wants you to be safe. He only knows how to look out for people."

"_He should have told me."_ Sam almost growled.

"Agreed." I admitted hoping to calm Sam a little. "What are you up to?" I asked trying to change the topic.

"_Travelling, just trying to cool down."_ Sam admitted.

"Be safe." I said with a small smile.

"_I am. Hey, Meg?" _Sam asked.

"Yeah?" I replied.

"_Take care of him."_ Sam said softly, almost a whisper.

"I will." I smiled before we hung up on each other. I sighed putting my phone away. I knew that no matter how mad, how pissed off the brothers got at each other, that they would always worry. It was a bond between them I knew existed their whole lives.

"What if she worked there?" Dean asked as he walked back over to me.

"Huh?" I asked snapping out of my thoughts.

"The woman, what if she worked there during the 60's?" Dean asked me.

"I've checked all employee's for then." I admitted. "There's no one close..." I added glancing at the very crude sketch I made of the woman. It wasn't great but it was good enough to help Dean identify her.

"Well I'm stumped. I mean there hasn't even been any strange deaths in the place. No suicides, no disappearances. Nothing odd at all." Dean sighed as the waitress walked over to us with a fresh pot of coffee.

"Refills?" She asked us with a smile.

"Please." I smiled back. The woman poured Dean's coffee then walked over to me, glancing at the table as she poured.

"Hey what are you kids doing with a sketch of Grace?" The woman asked looking at us.

"Grace?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah, there. That's Grace Kim, she was married to Gary from the motel, way back." The waitress explained.

"You know her?" I asked confused.

"Honey,she caused a stink round here." The waitress said looking around before leaning closer to the table. "Back in the day, she ran away with a Negro man."

"And that was a bad thing?" I asked confused.

"Course it was! Back then, well folk didn't like mixed marriages. And Gary, he hated the fact she ran away." The waitress explained.

"Really?" Dean asked glancing at me.

"Oh yeah, threatened to kill the pair if he ever saw them again! Course, this was a long time ago now. Gary's owned the motel ever since and he's happy now." She added.

"I bet he is." I sighed looking over at Dean.

* * *

><p>We left the restaurant and started to walk back towards the motel. On the way we discussed what we thought the ghost meant about me being next.<p>

"Think she's trying to warn me, about Gary?" I asked confused as I wrapped my jacket around me.

"Maybe, but he's a little old man. What can he do?" Dean asked walking by my side.

"I dunno, guy gives me the creeps a little." I shivered.

"But he's too old to do anything." Dean said shaking his head.

"I bet he slashed my tyres." I huffed folding my arms over my chest.

"You're not going to be happy until you find who did that are you?" Dean asked with a chuckle.

"No." I pouted a little. "As if you wouldn't be the same."

"True." Dean nodded wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him again.

"Stupid place... my tyres on my baby..." I muttered as we walked and I herd Dean laugh again. "So glad you find it funny." I huffed a little.

"Oh come on, it's cute- that's all." Dean smirked at me and I raised an eyebrow.

"Cute?" I asked seriously.

"Yeah, you're cute when your pouting and grumpy." Dean admitted with a shrug. I glared at him.

"I am not pouting, or grumpy. Someone attacked my baby. I am mad." I said shrugging off his arm and walking ahead of him with a quicker pace. Dean caught up to me and sighed rolling his eyes.

"Let's just kill the bad thing and leave, ok?" Dean asked innocently.

"Fine." I sighed as we walked into the room.

* * *

><p>As we walked into the room my mouth dropped open. Someone had been in our room and trashed it. Clothes were everywhere, our bags had been opened and everything gone through. It was only by some small miracle that the weapons were in my baby safe and sound.<p>

"Who would do this?" I asked shocked.

"Gary?" Dean asked turning to me. Without another word we marched up to the office and burst through the door. Gary was sat reading again.

"We need to talk!" I barked and all Gary did was raise one finger as he finished reading his page. As soon as he finished he looked up at us.

"Now, what do you want?" He asked with a small sigh.

"Our room! Someone has gone through our stuff!" Dean snapped pointing in the general direction of the room.

"Oh dear... is anything missing?" Gary asked plainly.

"Missing? Someone went through our stuff! But the door was locked!" Dean pointed out.

"Kids are clever these days." Gary shrugged.

"Kids? You're the only other person with a key!" I snapped pointing to Gary.

"You think I went through your things?" Gary asked confused.

"Yes!" Dean said firmly. Gary just laughed.

"Now why would I do that?" He asked confused.

"Maybe because you were planning to kill us, like you killed your wife Grace!" I said firmly. Gary lost his smile and sat up straight.

"What did you say about Grace?" He snapped.

"We know you killed her! She was leaving you for another man." Dean said firmly.

"I- how dare you!" Gary snapped standing up. "You know nothing!"

"Really?" Dean asked watching Gary.

"Yes!" Gary yelled. "She... I loved Grace. She was my world! It was that...that_ man_! He took her from me! Black magic!"

"Pardon?" I asked confused.

"That _man_, he put a spell on my Grace, she thought she loved him! She didn't, she loved me! But it was too late... Too late." Gary said sobbing a little and shaking his head.

"Too late for what?" Dean asked confused.

"When the spell wore off, she was coming back to me. She loved me..." Gary sobbed. "My god she loved me... I could never hurt her."

"Then who did?" I asked confused. Gary's eyes darted to me and an anger burnt raw in them.

"_Him. He _did this to her. He killed her!" Gary snapped. "Now get out! I want you out of this place! Get your things and leave!" Gary yelled. I took one look at Dean and he nodded for us to leave. We saw Gary drop back into his chair and started to cry.

* * *

><p>We went back to the room and started to clean everything up. Packing away our things as we found them. We had most of it packed up in my baby, we just had a few things left to collect.<p>

"Do you believe him?" I asked softly as I folded up my t-shirt.

"Don't you?" Dean asked looking me dead in the eyes.

"Yeah, but if it's not Gary, who's Grace warning me about?" I asked putting my shirt into the bag.

"The other guy?" Dean asked looking over at me.

"Maybe..." I shrugged. We continued to pack in silence. My mind was processing it all, trying to figure out who was after me when I felt the room get colder. I looked over to Dean and he noticed it too, pulling out an iron blade from his jacket.

"Think we've got company." Dean said looking around.

"Yeah..." I said pointing to the bathroom where Grace was stood. She was stood in the doorway watching us.

"I told you to leave." She said shaking her head a little.

"Who is coming after me Grace?" I asked taking a step towards the ghost.

"He wont let you leave now. He likes you." Grace said sadly, she looked like she was going to cry.

"Who Grace?" I asked again.

"You should have left. He wont let you leave now. We'll be stuck here forever." Grace said shaking her head before disappearing. I turned to Dean and gave him a worried look.

"Well that wasn't creepy." Dean said sarcastically as we looked around the room. We herd the lock turn in the front door and the blinds shot down.

"That is not a good sign, tell me you got some salt rounds." I said backing towards Dean.

"They're in the car." Dean admitted with a nervous smirk.

"What?" I cried out.

"We were leaving!" Dean shrugged quickly.

"Awesome... so what have we got?" I asked glancing around the room.

"The knife..." Dean admitted with a sheepish grin.

"Sometimes..." I sighed rolling my eyes. "If I get killed." I threatened Dean.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, you'll haunt my ass." Dean said rolling his eyes at me.

"How'd you know?" I asked confused.

"You always say it." Dean smirked at me with a warm smile. I shook my head softly, returning the smile. Before we could say anything else the temperature dropped even more. Dean pushed me behind he as we back into a corner of the room.

"Maybe we should try the windows?" I suggested as Dean and I went on high alert for any sign of a killer ghost.

"Ok, I'll cover you." Dean said as we slowly made our way over to the window. I cursed softly as I realised most of my things were already packed up in the boot of my baby. I reached into my boot and pulled out a small thin metal pin. I started to try and pry open the window lock.

"Come on you son of a-" I cried out trying to open the damn window. It wasn't budging at all, but I wasn't giving up.

"You can't leave." Grace said reappearing in the room, standing in the door way between the room and bathroom. "You can't leave." She said again.

"Sorry honey, but we are." Dean said firmly, tucking the knife into his jeans and helping me pull on the metal pin.

"Just a little more!" I cried out as I started to feel the window give a little. Dean pulled and suddenly went flying to the far corner of the room, smashing into the wall.

"Ah!" Dean cried out.

"Dean!" I screamed turning to see a tall African American man stood there. He had hold of Grace by the hair.

"You ain't leaving." The man said before his imagine flickered just like Grace.

"I am." I said firmly as Dean got up and was about to slash the guy with his knife when he waved his hand. The knife went flying towards me, cutting my arm and Dean crashed back into the wall. It looked like he was seeing stars.

"I told you." The man said yanking on Grace a little. She let out a small yelp. "You ain't leaving."

"Who say's?" I asked standing up to the man. He smirked and looked down to Grace.

"Tell her Gracie." The man said letting go of Grace. She looked terrified, I'd never seen a ghost scared of another ghost, it was odd.

"You can't, can't leave. He wont let you." Grace said her voice trembling as she stumbled over every word.

"Grace-" I started to say when the man waved his hand and sent me flying hard into the wall. I hit my head and saw stars for a few moments.

"You ain't leaving." The man said appearing right in front of me. I tried to move but I was pinned to the wall. I panicked realising I was trapped.

"Dean!" I cried out as I tried to push myself off the wall.

"Megan! Don't touch her!" Dean growled getting up on his feet, he was wobbling and that was when I noticed the nasty cut above his left eye.

"You can't stop me." The man said turning to Dean. He waved his hand out and Dean went crashing into the wall, he was pinned off the ground. "All you can do is watch. Just like Gary." The man laughed. A rich, deep, kinda creepy laugh. I saw Grace cower a little.

"No!" I screamed getting the man's attention again.

"Yes." He smirked walking towards me. He raised his hand and the pin I had been using to open the window floated over to him.

"Grace! You have the power! You can stand up to him!" I cried out as he floated the pin over to me, hovering it over my heart.

"NO!" Dean cried out, but his word was slurred. He looked badly hurt.

"She warned you, now you will never leave." The man smirked. "Oh I remember Gary's face..."

"Grace! You can stop him! You have the power!" I cried out, trying to move out of the path of the pin in vein.

"I... I can't leave." She said looking from me to the man in horror.

"You can! You have the power!" I said trying to convince her. The man slapped me across my face hard. I saw Grace watch us, it looked like no one had stood up to him before.

"Shut up!" He yelled at me, his voice booming.

"Grace you can-" I started to say when the man hit me again.

"I said shut up!" He growled at me.

"Grace, believe me, you can make the both of you leave!" I said spitting out some blood.

"Really?" Grace asked me, a glint of hope in her voice.

"Yes." I nodded.

"No! You will stay with me! You will not leave!" The man growled making Grace cower a little more.

"Grace! You stand up to him!" I cried out as the man glared at me. He was beyond pissed off. She looked between me and the man nervously.

"Enough! You are staying- forever!" He cried out raising his hand one last time and the pin started to move towards me. I took a deep breath as I saw the pin moving towards me.

"Megan!" Dean cried out.

"Grace you can leave!" I cried out watching with wide eyes as the pin darted towards me. The next thing I knew Grace was charging at the man.

"I can leave!" She screamed racing towards the man. The pair burst into a bright blue flame before being sucked into the floor. As soon as the last of the flames died down, me, Dean and the pin all fell to the floor. The pin was caught up in the material of my t-shirt, if Grace had taken just a few more seconds to make her mind up and stand up to the man, I would have been joining them in the after life. I said a silent prayer as I pulled the damn pin out of my t-shirt and dropped it to the floor. I looked over to Dean and he looked bad, the cut over his eye was bleeding pretty bad, running down his face, but he could still see. He smirked at me before letting out a massive sigh.

* * *

><p>"New tyres for my baby." I said looking at the brand new tyres. I kicked one just to make sure they were ok.<p>

"I think they're good." Dean said walking over to me. He had a nasty cut over his eye and a few bruises. I couldn't help but feel responsible. I cowered a little as he stood next to me, thankfully he was too busy watching my baby.

"Hey Dean?" I said softly. Dean turned to me and I winced at how bad he looked.

"What's wrong?" He asked confused.

"I'm sorry. You got hurt because of me." I said softly looking down at the floor. Now I had said it out loud I felt twice as worse.

"You didn't do this to me." Dean said softly.

"I made us pull over to the motel. I made us stay even though there was only one bed. I put your life in danger, you got hurt trying to protect me." I said looking down at the floor.

"You didn't do this Megan, look at me." Dean said firmly. I looked up at his face and the guilt hit me all over again. "I'm ok. This isn't your fault."

"It is." I said and got into my baby.

* * *

><p>We drove for hours in silence, that was until Dean's rumbling stomach got too much to ignore. We pulled into a small restaurant on a road side to grab some food. I still didn't talk much. I had been thinking. Thinking about how much I put on Dean, how much responsibility I put on him for my life. I got him hurt. There wasn't any other way to see it. I got him hurt. I glanced up from the plate of food I had hardly touched and saw the black eye and plaster over his eye. The guilt riddled inside of me more. I felt sick to my stomach. I pushed the plate away and walked out into the cool afternoon air. I walked over to my baby and fought with everything I had not to be sick or cry.<p>

"I cant keep doing this..." I sighed heavily as I lent on the side of my Camero. Dean walked over to me with his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets.

"You ok?" He asked softly as he reached me. I couldn't bring myself to look up at him.

"No." I said softly shaking my head. There was a pause, but all I could do was look at Dean's shoes.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" Dean asked after a few minutes. I shook my head again and herd him sigh. He took a few steps towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I jumped slightly and cursed myself for doing so.

"I'm leaving." I announced to his shoes.

"Leaving? Is this because of the ghost?" Dean asked firmly. I nodded. "Megan, at least look at me." Dean said firmly. I pulled on the reserves of strength I had left and looked up at his perfect face, perfect apart from the damage I helped inflict.

"Yes." I said softly. I saw Dean roll his eyes.

"I told you, I'm fine. This," He said pointing to his face. "This wasn't your fault. This is the risk we take." Dean explained.

"No. No it isn't." I said pushing past Dean and running a hand through my hair. I turned back to face him, biting on my lip. "You, you would never have had been there if it wasn't for me! You wouldn't be trapped in the room! Hell the damn ghost wouldn't be after you at all! This is my fault Dean! If I had never had the nose bleed... if..." I sighed and looked down.

"Megan, I know how dangerous this life is. Trust me-" Dean started to say, taking a step towards me. I put my hand up.

"No." I said shaking my head. "No. I know it Dean."

"Fine, so the ghost is your fault! Then the Leviathan who smashed your head in, that's on me! And the one back at Bobby's when you got spiked with the metal pole, and bumping into Osiris- that's all on me! I think we're even Meg." Dean said throwing his arms out in different directions.

"You don't get it!" I yelled getting frustrated.

"Explain it then!" Dean snapped back.

"I- I got you hurt. All on me. All of it. If... if..." I stumbled over the words as tears fought to roll down my cheeks.

"If what Megan?" Dean asked softer as he took another step towards me.

"Just. I'm leaving." I said shaking my head.

"Not without explaining it to me." Dean said grabbing my arms and holding me in front of him. "Not until you explain how this is your fault. Not until your explain the nose bleeds. Not until you explain it Megan." Dean said softly holding me there.

"Dean..." I pleaded looking up into his eyes, a tear rolled down my cheeks.

"Just tell me." Dean pleaded back with his own version of the puppy dog eyes. I fought the lump in my throat to try and speak but nothing came out. For minutes I just stood there, looking into Dean's perfect green eyes. No matter how much he joked, teased, flirted, looking into his eyes I saw the love he had for me. For us. Knowing I hurt him, it killed me a little inside. Dean gently wiped the tear away with his thumb and rubbed my cheek a little. I loved the warmth that rolled off him, but I couldn't help the guilt, the black eye, the cut was right there, a vivid reminder of what I coursed. I took a sharp breath and stepped back out of his arms.

"Every time I remember something about us, about you. Something good, always good. I get this pain. This shooting horrible pain in my head." I said raising my hand up to my temple and rubbing it softly. "It feels like my brain is being ripped in two..." I admitted and saw the worry on Dean's face.

"I course it?" He asked a little confused.

"No, I do. When I remember. That's... I mean, that's why my nose bleeds." I said looking down.

"How many times has this happened?" Dean asked confused.

"Couple." I shrugged looking back at him.

"What triggers it?" Dean asked folding his arms over his chest. His face was stone as he processed everything I was telling him.

"I.. don't really know." I shrugged again. "It's kinda random, sometimes it's a song, a phrase, I get this feeling of deja vu then, bam, the memory hits me like a road runner."

"And that's when your nose bleeds?" Dean asked.

"Exactly." I said sighing. "I noticed, that being around you, you know, thinking about you, it helps trigger it. A little. Kinda."

"Me?" Dean asked confused, pointing a finger at himself.

"Yeah." I said sadly. "Dean, I love being around you, love hunting with you. I do... but I can't keep putting our lives in danger." I said firmly.

"I think I missed something." Dean said confused.

"I made us pull over to the motel and stay-" I started to say when Dean opened his mouth to interrupt. I put my hand up to stop him and continued. "I did. Then I made us stay in a small room all night. I had the nose bleed, the memory flash whatever we call it, that happened to me. I had to go clean up and that's when the ghost appeared. If you were with Sam, we both know none of that would have happened." I explained.

"But I don't mind. I mean I don't mind getting hurt to protect you." Dean said throwing me the damn puppy dog eyes again. He was so damn cute, innocent when he looked at me like that. I hated arguing with him. I just needed us to be safe, him to be safe.

"I mind. That's the point. I can't... I mean look at yourself. Look at us." I said shaking my head. "What are we doing here Dean?" I asked softly.

"Hunting." Dean smirked and I let out a small soft chuckle.

"You know what I mean." I said with a sad smile. "We just getting each other hurt. We are both so worried about the other, with no real reason, we're getting each other hurt. We're like this, this, this, ball of pain, rolling in circles." I said sadly.

"I don't think we're that bad." Dean shrugged. "Plus, I don't mind as long as I'm around you." Dean admitted, that glint of love in his perfect green eyes.

"I do." I said shaking my head again. "Dean, we aren't even a couple and we're making stupid mistake to keep each other safe. One of us is going to get killed if we keep this up." I said biting my lip again. I saw something change in Dean. I don't know exactly what I said, but I saw him shift uncomfortably. Almost like we'd had this argument before and someone, me, had died.

"So what are you saying?" Dean asked firmly, a glazed look crossing his eyes, anger but not, if that makes any sense. His whole body seemed my tense, more closed off to me.

"I'm saying... I'm leaving." I said looking down again. My stomach rolled as I said the words but I knew I had to leave.

"Leaving?" Dean asked firmly, all emotion washed away from the word. He was just a hunter, a cold stone killer in that moment.

"Yeah, hunting solo. Just me..." I said looking back to him.

"And us?" Dean asked firmly, a small hint of anger in his voice.

"Us? We are... we are just professional acquaintances." I said with a small nod.

"Huh." Dean huffed with a raised eye brow.

"Dean please-" I started to plead when he cut me off.

"No, no I get it." Dean said walking back to the Camero and grabbing his bags. "No more Dean. No more killer headaches. No more risking your life for no reason. No more us. No Megan, I get it. I do." He said throwing his bags on the floor.

"Dean, you don't have to leave now... I'll drop you off-" I started to argue when he turned to me and I swear the rage in his eyes - it scared me.

"I do." He almost growled throwing the last bag on the floor.

"I'm sorry." I said sadly, half holding my breath. My words barely audible.

"Me too Meg." Dean said handing back my car keys. I looked at our hands as his rested on my for a few seconds longer before he picked up his bags. "Me too." He added before walking back into the restaurant. I felt my heart sink as I watched him walk away from me. I climbed into my car, slamming the door and starting the engine. I raced out of the parking lot before I changed my mind.

* * *

><p>I was only trying to keep everyone safe. Keep Dean safe. I never wanted to hurt him. I never wanted him to be hurt by me. I never wanted that. Never. I just wanted him to have a fresh start. Hunting without having to worry about me every second. I needed to grow a second skin, a tougher skin. A don't give a crap attitude, I needed to be the strong one. I needed to walk away, even if it hurt like hell. I needed him safe. I needed to be safe. Sure I could hunt, probably as good as the Winchesters, but I was a risk they really didn't need. Not now. Not with the Leviathans after us, after them. I couldn't risk my mind exploding in the middle of the hunt and getting them hurt. Getting Dean hurt. If I was honest, alone with just myself, I could admit it -<p>

I could admit I loved Dean.

And I wouldn't risk that for anything – even Dean's feelings.

* * *

><p>Well, what did you all think? Please spend just a few seconds and review? Please?<p> 


	9. The Mentalist

Hey Everyone! I hope you like this next chapter! Big shout out's too klandgraff2007 and Asya55 for reviewing Thanks guys! Enjoy!

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><p>It had been nearly a whole week since I walked out on Dean. For his own good – well that's what I was telling myself... I was starting to feel better. Feel more independent, feel like a solo hunter again. I woke up in a motel room and stretched; I actually didn't feel terrible. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as my phone began to ring.<p>

"O'Connor?" I asked half yawning as I answered.

"_Where the hell are you?_" A grumpy sounding Bobby asked.

"In a motel room, why, where should I be?" I asked sitting up and looking at the clock. It was around eight in the morning.

"_You should be with Sam and/or Dean. At least one of those eijets!"_ Bobby snapped at me then sighed.

"Why?" I asked confused pushing myself out of the bed.

"_Why? Why she asks me? I don't know girl, maybe because freaking Leviathan are trying to kill all three of you and there's safety in numbers?" _Bobby snapped at me again.

"Whoa! Some one is grumpy this morning..." I sighed grabbing out some fresh clothes.

"_You think genius?" _Bobby snapped again.

"Hey, whoa! Bobby, I'm a big girl. I don't have to hunt with them. Maybe it's better if we split up..." I suggested pulling out my wash things.

"_Better? For who?" _Bobby asked grumpy.

"Wow, you really are grumpy! Gee... come on Bobby-" I started to say getting rapidly depressed by the second.

"_No, don't come on Bobby me! I got calls from both those eijets saying they're hunting solo now. Least they call! But you girl! You go off the reservation without letting anyone know! Anything could have happened to you!" _Bobby half growled down the phone. I knew he was only worried about me, but man it was bringing me down fast.

"But clearly, by having this very conversation, I am proving, I am alive and in fact fine." I sighed looking at my reflection. I'd been getting more sleep since I left Dean, but I still didn't look fabulous.

"_Don't be a smart ass girl! You know I worry about you like my own."_ Bobby said still sounding grumpy.

"I know you do..." I sighed, resting on the side of the bath. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "I just... I needed space."

"_Space?" _Bobby asked confused.

"Yeah, space." I replied feeling the last of my good mood vanish.

"_Space for what?"_ Bobby asked sounding almost human again.

"I need to find answers Bobby." I sighed again.

"_Answers?"_ Bobby asked confused.

"What? Have you been replaced by a parrot or something? Yeah answers." I snapped a little standing back up and looking at myself in the mirror. The girl standing, facing me, could have just be another person on the street for me.

"_Girl is this to do with your memory?"_ Bobby asked sounding back to himself.

"Yeah." I said looking at my reflection hard. "I only remember bits of who I was. There is still so much I don't know about myself. Stuff I want to know. I need to know."

"_Well how you expecting to find answers? It's not like we can ask Cass to reverse whatever the hell it is he did to your memories in the first place." _Bobby sighed.

"I know." I said sadly, looking into my own eyes. I know this sounds crazy, but sometimes my own reflection didn't even look familiar to me.

"_So where are you?"_ Bobby asked me, snapping from my thoughts.

"Look, I'll tell you, but don't you dare say anything ok?" I asked firmly.

"_I swear." _Bobby said with a hint of confusion in his voice.

"I'm in Lily Dale, New York..." I admitted slightly ashamed of myself.

"_Lily Dale?"_ Bobby asked seriously.

"Yeah, I know! It's stupid to think some hack psychic will be able to tell me anything about myself! I know I'm just wasting my time asking questions. I bet there isn't even a real damn psychic in the bunch... I know I'm being stupid. Yeah I know I am Bobby... but man. I really need answers and yeah, it has gotten this desperate. I can't handle-" I cut myself off before I mentioned the headaches.

"_Finished girl?"_ Bobby asked plainly.

"Yes sir." I sighed, resting on the side of the bath again.

"_Good."_ Bobby said softly. _"I was going to say, I know a few psychic's in town if your serious about asking them."_

"Really?" I asked jumping to my feet.

"_Yeah, I mean, I don't know if they'll be able to help you. But they might be able to point you in the right direction."_ Bobby explained.

"Thank you Bobby Singer! You are a life saver." I smirked to myself as he laughed.

"_Yeah, well maybe you'll ring and let me know where you are, huh?"_ Bobby asked and I nodded smirking more.

"I will. Sorry Bobby." I said sincerely.

"_I know girl." _Bobbyreplied then gave me the names of a few true psychics in the town. I finished getting washed and changed and decided to check out the psychic Bobby told me about.

* * *

><p>The thing about Lily Dale was plain and simple, the place was full of fakes. 'Psychics' who would let you talk to your dead gold fish for a stupid large fee. To say I wasn't a fan of psychics was probably an understatement. I really distrusted anyone who said they could speak to the dead. Something really un-Catholic about it all for me. I shuddered a little as I walked down the street seeing all the shops full to the brim of psychic goodness. Half of them would probably wet themselves if they ever really saw a ghost and the other half, well they'd just be sitting ducks. I checked the address Bobby gave me and found a row of houses down the side of an alley. I was grateful that there wasn't at least some sign boards outside the houses. I walked up to the address Bobby gave me and knocked. I waited a few minutes when the door opened and a man was stood there. He was mid thirties with straight jaw length hair, swept to one side with a blue streak in the front. He had blue eyes, and a scruff forming on his face. He was wearing dark jeans and a faded ACDC t-shirt. All in all not what I was expecting from the psychics in Lily Dale.

"Hi I'm-" I started to say when the man cut in.

"Megan. Yeah, I know." He said with a smirk as if it was meant to impress me.

"Bobby call huh?" I asked as he lost his smirk.

"Something like that. Come in." The man said stepping side so that I could walk in. I walked into his house and into the living room. It looked normal, nothing 'psychic' about it at all. "Expecting something else?" He chuckled as he sat on the sofa.

"I guess... this is Lily Dale after all..." I shrugged as he motioned for me to sit on the sofa. I sat down and looked at the guy. "Do I get a name?" I asked plainly.

"Sorry, yeah, Shawn." Shawn replied holding his hand out to me.

"Nice to meet you." I replied as he placed his other hand over our hands and closed his eyes. I could see his eyes fluttering from side to side with his eye lids closed. I rolled my eyes, I'd seen it a millions times before.

"Well, that was interesting..." Shawn said opening his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths.

"Bet it was." I muttered and Shawn smirked at me, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"Oh come on Megan, surely by now you've realised I'm not a fake." Shawn asked smiling at me.

"You'd think, wouldn't you?" I asked smirking at him.

"Fine, how do I prove it?" Shawn asked me, looking me dead in the eyes.

"You're the psychic, tell me something about myself." I stated plainly. Shawn chuckled again looking away from me then nodded turning back to face me.

"Fine, give me your hand again." Shawn said holding his out palm up. I put my hand in his and he closed his eyes again.

"Oh brother." I sighed.

"Shut up smart ass." Shawn said with his eyes closed. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Suddenly he shook his head slowly as if he didn't like something. Then his eyebrows furrowed together and finally he opened his eyes and smirked at me.

"Something funny?" I asked plainly.

"No, just, you know, for a rock chick like yourself, really, having Hair spray's – You Can't Stop The Beat, on your cell is a little... funny." Shawn smirked at me with a shrug.

"Bobby could have told you that. I've had the song on for months." I said firmly. I hated that. When a 'psychic' told you something about yourself, that anyone with the right training could tell you. Hell if I wanted to, I could have set up as a 'psychic' I knew how to read people.

"True. But could Bobby tell me, that you have the song on because it reminds you of the love your parents shared and that every time you listen to it, you cry?" Shawn asked seriously. It was all true. The song and the reason for having it. I hadn't told anyone, not even Dean. I sat there in shock for a few seconds before taking a deep breath.

"Ok... I guess your real..." I admitted softly.

"You think?" He smirked at me again. "Now, you mind telling me, what you want from me?" Shawn asked smiling politely at me.

"Bobby didn't say?" I asked confused.

"No. Just told me, your name and that you'd be calling around." Shawn shrugged. I bit my lip as I sat there trying to figure out the best way to explain my situation. It wasn't everyday you had to tell someone you came back from the dead after an angel with the power of God brought you back with no memories. I scratched the back of my head and tried to stumble through an good explanation.

"Well... basically I just, I need to find some answers..." I said softly looking down at my hands.

"Well answers are my special subject." Shawn joked a little and I smiled at him.

"Problem is, I don't know if there is any way to get the answers..." I said with a small shrug.

"Usually, clients don't. That's where I come in. I'm pretty good at finding them." Shawn said with a reassuring smile.

"Good... that's um good." I said looking back down at my hands.

"Well, what questions do you have?" Shawn asked softly.

"I need to know who I was." I said plainly to my hands.

"Was?" Shawn asked confused. "This some demon possession gig, because, man, I told Bobby, I wasn't doing them again. I do not like the way they go..." Shawn said shaking his head.

"What? Oh no, no it's not that at all." I said quickly.

"What is it then?" Shawn asked confused.

"I don't remember who I am." I said plainly.

"What happened?" Shawn asked plainly as if that's what people said to him all the time.

"Well," I laughed slightly, very nervously. "I um died... somehow. And um... something powerful, supernatural, um... he, it, yeah it, brought me back... and since then it died. I got.. um I got no real idea who I was before. Bits and bobs have come back to me... but there is literally a whole other life I have no memory of." I said looking down at my hands.

"Well I'm gonna be honest here Megan, I've never had that story before." Shawn laughed slightly nervously as he stood up and paced the room a little.

"Tell me about it." I half joked looking up at him.

"Well, all we can do is try right? No harm in that?" Shawn asked me plainly.

"Sure..." I said with a shrug.

"Right... I'm gonna need to set some things up..." Shawn said more to himself then me as he walked out of the room.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later I was sat around a table opposite Shawn. He had laid a cloth on the table with a few symbols I recognised and more I didn't. He also had the crystal ball out. I sat there looking at the ball with a blatant sceptical look on my face. Shawn lit a few candles around the room and looked at me.<p>

"Trust me, used right, these little babies can show you anything." Shawn said sitting at the table opposite me.

"Sure it can." I said still sound sceptical.

"Well you'll see." Shawn smirked at me before taking a deep breath.

"So what do we or I do now?" I asked plainly. Shawn took my hands and laid them on two of the symbols on the cloth.

"I want you to think about oldest memory you have from coming back from the dead." Shawn said seriously.

"So, waking up at Bobby's?" I asked.

"If that was the first thing you remembered after dying, yeah." Shawn said with a reassuring smile.

"Ok, then what?" I asked confused.

"Just keeping focusing on it. Try to relive it in your mind." Shawn said softly. "And close your eyes, it'll help."

"Really?" I asked sceptically.

"Yes. Do it." Shawn said before chanting in Latin. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, focusing on how I felt, and what happened when I woke up in Bobby's house. I herd Shawn finish chanting and taking a deep breath. "Wow, your mind is a mess." Shawn commented, I peaked an eye open and his eyes were shut, but I could see his eyes moving a mile a minute behind his eye lids.

"Thanks." I huffed closing my eyes again.

"It's all so... broken." Shawn said slightly softer.

"That's the problem." I muttered.

"What... what's this? A wall, a door? No a wall. There's something behind the walls... something here. What? What! No! No! Stop! Stop! NO!" Shawn screamed. I snapped my eyes open and tried to move my hands away from the symbols but they felt glued.

"Shawn?" I cried out, pulling with all my strength but my hands wouldn't move.

"NO! You never told me! No! Evoke Non Malas!" Shawn yelled and my hands went flying off the cloth. Shawn snapped his eyes open, wide in terror almost.

"Shawn, what the hell just happened?" I asked scared. Shawn took a few minutes to catch his breath. He shook his head standing up, brushing his hair out of his face. "Shawn?" I asked standing up too.

"You...you can't have readings." Shawn said shaking his head. He was really shaken up.

"What? Why?" I asked confused.

"There's... it's to dangerous. I'm, I'm sorry I can't help you." Shawn said shaking his head.

"I... I'm sorry." I said softly. Shawn snapped his head around to me and smiled sadly.

"Oh man, it ain't your fault. It's just too dangerous. You just gotta... there is something blocking you from your memories. I saw a door bricked over, but there's cracks." Shawn explained.

"Super." I sighed pushing my hair out my face.

"Listen, means whatever your doing, you can keep doing it. You'll reach your memories. But for anyone else to enter... It's just... just too dangerous. I am sorry I can't help you Megan. Your aura is one of a good person, a strong fighter with a brave self sacrificing heart." Shawn said rubbing my shoulder. "But girl your head is just too messed up." He joked.

"Thanks for trying." I said half smiling.

* * *

><p>I walked out of Shawn's house more depressed then the chewing out Bobby had given me. I had no more answers then when I came to the town. In fact if Shawn was right, I needed to back track a hundred miles to Dean. It seemed the horrifyingly painful memories was going to be the only way for me to remember who I was. <em>Boy was that going to be a fun conversation- hey Dean I'm back. <em>I groaned inwardly as I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets as I walked, head down, into the busy side walk. _There was something dangerous in my own mind. Something I didn't even know about. Maybe it was my werewolf thing, after all I was a monster. Wasn't I?And there's a bricked up door in my mind. One with cracks from the memories of Dean. So what? Behind it lies who I really am? Arh! This hasn't helped at all... I still don't know who I am... all I know is that I'm-_

"Megan!" I herd my voice being called and it snapped me out of my thoughts. Before I could register the voice a hand grabbed my arm stopping me. I blinked, half reaching for a weapon when I realised who had called my name.

"Sam?" I asked looking up at Sam. Sam all suited and booted I might add. It looked like he was working a case.

"Megan, what, you working the case?" Sam asked looking at me confused.

"Um... no, what case?" I asked confused.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked really looking at me.

"Yeah... just... I'm fine." I lied and brushed some loose strands of hair behind my ear.

"I'll buy the coffee and explain." Sam smiled at me leading me into a small café near by called Good Graces. The waiter sat us at a table and passed us a menu.

"So, there's a case?" I asked confused, but before Sam could answer the waiter returned.

"Just coffee, black, extra shot." Sam answered the waiter.

"Green Tea please." I replied and the waiter nodded before walking away. Sam opened the file to show me something.

"You always wear a suit to get your palm read?" Dean asked appearing at the table. Sam didn't smile, I just nodded to Dean. "Yeah. Not surprised you caught this one. It's on every morning zoo in America. You mind?" Dean asked pointing to the free seats opposite us. Sam waved his hand and Dean sat down. At the same time Sam pulled his file onto his lap so I could still see it, but Dean couldn't. "So, I, uh, I went to the scene. Wires, speakers, enough E.M.F. to make your hair stand up. Don't even think about getting a reading. Oh, and, uh, if this hadn't have been two psychics that bit it... I would have just chalked this up as being, uh, dumb and accidental. And I know, I know. This whole town's supposedly calling ghosts. But that takes some serious spell work and some serious mojo. The only books this lady had were Oprah crap. When was the last time you actually saw a real psychic? Huh? Pamela? Missouri? Anyway, this," Dean said pointing to all three of us. "Is good. And, uh, how you been?"

"And what can I get for you?" The waiter asked returning with our drinks.

"Uh, pancakes, side of pig. Coffee, black." Dean replied plainly.

"Fantastic. You are a virile manifestation of the divine." The waiter said with a broad smile before walking off.

"What the hell did he say to me?" Dean asked seriously looking at me and Sam. Sam shook his head and looked away, while I giggled into my drink.

"Oh, it's funny? Yeah, no. Go ahead. Laugh it up pair of you, Sam. Hilarious." Dean said sounding annoyed.

"Dean..." Sam sighed softly.

"Oh, he speaks." Dean said rolling his eyes at me.

"Look..." Sam started to say when Dean cut him off.

"Sam. Look, we're both here. All right, the chance of either one of us leaving while people are still dying out there-" Dean said making a zero with his hand and clicked his tongue. "You might as well bite the bullet and work with me on this one."

"I don't know if I can." Sam said plainly looking over at his brother.

"I'm not asking you to open up a can of worms, okay, I'm not even asking you where the hell you've been for the past week and a half." Dean said sighing as he looked from me to Sam.

"Good." Sam said leaning back in his seat.

"I'm just saying, let's try and stop the killings. That's it." Dean said with a nod.

"Okay." Sam sighed.

"Okay? Good." Dean nodded as a woman stopped at our table and stared at Sam and Dean. "Can I help you?" Dean asked slightly annoyed at the woman.

"You're the brothers from the-" The woman cried out getting slightly worked up.

"Oh, no, no, no, no. The Winchester guys on the news a couple weeks back? No- we get that a lot." Sam said quickly, calming the woman slightly.

"Yeah, no. Those depraved killers got put down like the dogs that they were. Us on the other hand, we're completely harmless." Dean added with a nervous laugh. Suddenly the woman started to laugh a little and I looked at the guys like the woman was crazy.

"Oh, yeah! I'm sorry. Silly me. And I can see by your energies, you're completely gentle." She laughed. A man walked up behind her and put his arm around her.

"Excuse my friend. She's excitable. Sweetheart, look at them, hmm? They're FBI." The man explained to the woman.

"Oh!" The woman said nervously.

"I'm Russian. We can spot the law. You must be here about the tragedies." The man asked us.

"Oh, we're just beside ourselves about what happened." The woman added sadly.

"Yeah. And so close to festival season, huh?" Dean asked quickly.

"Yeah- no-" The woman said quickly and I smirked to Dean a little.

"Of course we are worried. We have no idea what's going on, huh?" The man explained, passing Sam a business card. "Nikolai. Let me know if I can help you. I'm highly intuitive." Nikolai said glancing to me.

"Nikolai Lishin, spoon bender?" Sam asked reading from the card.

"Mm. World famous." Nikolai said picking up Sam's spoon. "Come to my demonstration at the festival, huh? I teach you to harness the power of your mind." He grunted before putting the spoon down. "Come, let's leave them be." He added before the pair walked away.

"Talk about crazy and crazier..." I muttered looking at the spoon.

"So glad we decided to vacation here, huh? Right?" Dean smirked at me as Sam put the folder on the table. "Actually why are you here? You're not wearing a suit." Dean asked me.

"I'm not working the case." I said plainly. "Well I wasn't."

"So... why are you in Lily Dale? You hate psychics with a passion." Dean asked me. I shuffled in my seat a little and shook my head.

"Just passing through when I bumped into Sam." I admitted with a shrug.

"All right. Here we go. First death... second death." Sam said cutting off Dean from asking me any more questions. Sam put a few photo's on the table.

"What am I looking at?" Dean asked glancing at the photos.

"Well, see this? Now, this is Imelda Graven, death number one. She was brained by her own crystal ball." Sam explained.

"Bummer, and ironic." Dean said and turned the page to the next page. Dean noticed something and flicked between the two pictures. "Same necklace?" Dean asked Sam.

"Yeah. See, Imelda gave it to Goldy in her will." Sam explained.

"Okay, so, cursed object, maybe?" Dean asked us.

"Worth looking into. Goldy's next of kin lives in town, also a psychic." Sam explained.

"Oh, good. I haven't had my fill." Dean said sarcastically. Sam poured some sugar into his coffee. The spoon in his other hand bent.

"He broke my spoon." Sam said sadly. The guys finished their drinks and in Dean's case food. We walked out of the Café after waving to the crazy woman from before. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"So, I'll leave you guys to work the case..." I said putting my hands into my pockets.

"Wait."

"What?" The pair said at the same time.

"I'm leaving." I said plainly.

"But we need your help." Dean protested.

"No you don't. You two can handle it." I said with a small smile. Dean turned to Sam slightly panicked.

"But Megan... we might... have a lot of spell work to do and you know how bad Dean is at it." Sam explained quickly.

"Yeah. I'm the worst." Dean chipped in.

"So I could do with someone who knows what they're doing." Sam added. I knew the pair was lying they just wanted someone to be the piggy in the middle between them. A buffer for how off they were being with each other.

"You really don't need me." I said again.

"But there's gonna be a lot of research, if you chip in, we all finish quicker, save more people." Dean said and Sam nodded.

"And you know that's true." Sam added. I stood on the street staring at the pair as they all but begged me to stay. I took a deep breath and rolled my eyes.

"Fine, look, you've got my number. I'm staying in town, go talk to the psychic and call me, ok?" I asked feeling like I had given in to two children.

"We will." Dean said smiling at me. Sam mouthed a 'thank you' and the pair went into Sam's car. I groaned and made my way back to my motel room.

* * *

><p>Needless to say the pair called me an hour later asking me to join them at a local pawn shop. I walked down the street and saw the pair stood there. Even a blind man could see the tension between the pair. I took a deep breath and smiled as I reached them.<p>

"So, this guy has the necklace?" I asked as I reached them. I was still in my jeans and black and white check shirt.

"Yeah. You not got your suit with you?" Dean asked raising at eyebrow at me.

"Wasn't here for business... plus I am not really working the case. Just baby sitting." I sighed softly.

"That hurt." Dean said seriously as Sam looked away from me.

"It's true though. Come on, let's buy you pretty boys a necklace." I sighed walking into the place. All three of us walked up to the counter where a man behind put his coffee down.

"Mm. Mm. You're looking... for something." He said waving his hand towards us and closing his eyes for a second.

"You're good." Dean said sarcastically.

"You Jimmy Tomorrow?" Sam asked plainly.

"Mm-hmm." Jimmy replied looking at all three of us.

"We're looking for a necklace." Sam stated.

"Oh. Romantic." Jimmy replied looking at all three of us, I caught Dean rolling his eyes at the guy.

"It would have come in with Grandma Goldy's effects." Sam explained putting down a photo on the counter of Grandma Goldy and pointing to the necklace.

"Oh. Yes, yes. Now, you do know that this is the Orb of Thessaly." Jimmy explained making it sound mysterious and thus expensive.

"We did not know." Dean stated glancing at us as Jimmy put a metal box on the counter opening it up.

"Very powerful, very rare." Jimmy explained.

"Let me guess. Very expensive." Dean said dead pan.

"Worth every penny." Jimmy said pulling out the necklace.

"Well, in that case..." Dean said as he and Sam pulled out his FBI badges. "...we'll be taking the state's-evidence discount."

"What's going on?" Jimmy asked utterly confused.

"A murder investigation that we'd like to personally thank you for not obstructing." Sam said as he reached out for the necklace. Jimmy suddenly grabbed Sam's wrist and lent forward slightly.

"You know, I give private energetic readings." Jimmy said to Sam.

"No, thanks." Sam said pulling his hand with the necklace free.

"A loss weighs on you. You're angry. It's complicated. Come see me, Agent." Jimmy said holding out a card to Sam. Sam took the card looking really annoyed.

"Thanks, Jimmy. We'll see you." Dean said as we turned to walk out.

"The bureau's gonna reimburse me for the necklace, right?" Jimmy yelled as we walked out.

"Oh, we'll send you a check." Dean yelled back.

"Right." We herd Jimmy shout as we walked out. I was looking at the necklace as we walked down the street.

"Went a little _Mentalist_ on you there, didn't he?" Dean asked as Sam glanced to his big brother. "All right. Next question. What's an Orb of Thessaly?" Dean asked looking at me.

"Well I doubt it's that expensive." I sighed passing it to Sam.

"Why?" Dean asked confused as Sam looked at it.

"It's made in Taiwan." Sam answered tossing the necklace to Dean.

"Oh, a fake, around here. Imagine that. 'Course, that means that what ever's killing mediums is still out there." Dean sighed as we all climbed into Sam's Dodge.

* * *

><p>That night I was sat in the local bar drinking a beer to myself. I was just sat at the bar, minding my own when someone walked over to me.<p>

"I see your missing someone." A woman said pulling the psychic crap on me.

"Beat it sister, I ain't buying." I huffed taking a long sip of my beer.

"A... woman... a sister? A twin? Megan?" The woman asked looking at me for some hint she was on the right track. I put my beer down and turned to her sighing.

"Lady, really, back off." I said firmly.

"She was very close to you. Her disappearance, it's troubling you." The woman continued. That was the last straw for me, I was sick of this fake place, sick of psychics, sick of Lily Dale. I stood from my stool and took a deep breath.

"Look-" I started to growl when someone put their arm around my waist and tugged me to them.

"Babe, I told you not to talk to strangers." I turned to see Shawn stood there smiling down at me.

"Shawn." This woman said with the most disgust I had ever herd used in one word. "She's with you?" She asked Shawn.

"She is Ellie, now if you don't mind." Shawn said nodding his head away from us. The woman, Ellie stood there looking at me for a few seconds.

"She's trying to find her way back to you. Your sister will return to you soon." Ellie said quickly before walking away. Shawn chuckled as we sat back down at the bar.

"She bothering you?" Shawn asked as the bar tender fetched him a beer.

"Bothering is an understatement." I sighed taking a sip of beer.

"See you're still loving my profession." Shawn teased taking a sip of beer.

"Yeah." I replied and then shook my head. "Sorry Shawn, just been a long day, you know?"

"Oh yeah." Shawn replied with a nod to the door. "There's half your problem right?" Shawn asked. I turned as Dean walked into the bar looking like someone had stolen his puppy. I sighed and turned back to Shawn.

"You could say so." I sighed loudly.

"I know he means a lot to you. You just don't know how to handle your emotions towards him." Shawn said before sipping on some more beer.

"No more psychic crap, I'm begging you. I just want a beer." I pleaded looking over to Shawn. He nodded finishing his beer and laughed a little.

"You dance?" He asked me holding his hand out to me.

"Some times, why?" I asked confused, he nodded to the jukebox as I Don't Care by Apocalyptica and Adam Gotier started to play. I chuckled as I took his hand and he led me to the dance floor. "You put this on?" I asked as he rested his hands on my hips loosely.

"I'm only a psychic, I can't make things happen." Shawn laughed as we danced to the slow song. We danced a little more and had a few more beers. Apart from being a psychic Shawn was actually a pretty funny guy. We had the same taste in music, more or less, and I just had a fun night with him. It got to kicking out time and Shawn walked me back to the motel.

"So you leaving in the morning?" Shawn asked as we stopped outside my door.

"I wish." I sighed looking away. I looked back to Shawn and he raised his eyebrow. "You know the dead psychic's, I'm kinda looking into that."

"With lost puppy guy?" Shawn asked meaning Dean. I nodded a little. "Oh, I see why your a ball of sunshine at the moment then." Shawn teased pushing me a little.

"I have you know, I can be quite the party animal." I said with a firm nod. We both chuckled a little. A silence fell on us as Shawn stood there watching me closely. I felt my heart race a little.

"Hey Meg?" Shawn said closing the gap between us.

"Yeah?" I asked as he pushed some hair behind my ear. He lent down and pressed his lips against mine, giving me a gentle warm kiss. I wrapped my arms around his back and made the kiss last a little longer. Shawn took a step back and smirked at me.

"Be careful." He whispered, looking back to my lips. My heart raced as I saw his blue eyes and the lust in them. I shivered a little and smirked at him.

"I will." I said softly biting my bottom lip and watched as Shawn's eyes went straight to them. "You, um... you wanna come in?" I asked finishing in my jeans for my keys.

"Sure.." Shawn said with a broad smile as I found the key.

* * *

><p>I was curled up to a warm body as I woke in the morning and it took me a good few seconds to realise who I was laid next to. I smirked to myself as I saw Shawn asleep next to me. The night before had been nothing more than a bit of adult fun, no strings and it felt nice to have something so simple in my life.<p>

"Morning sunshine." Shawn smirked as he opened his eyes.

"Morning." I replied getting out of bed and grabbing some clean clothes. I grabbed a quick shower and changed into some fresh clothes. As I walked out of my bathroom I saw Shawn close his flies. He still didn't have a t-shirt on and I couldn't help but smile at how chiselled his six pack was.

"You were amazing last night." Shawn said holding his hands out to me. I took them as he pulled me closer to him, kissing me passionately.

"Hey, you were better." I smirked as we pulled apart. "You knew exactly what-" I started to say when he cut me off with another passionate kiss.

"It's a gift." Shawn chuckled at me. I swatted his chest and started to walk away when he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back to him for one more, long passionate kiss. I melted into his arms at the kiss. He was good at it. Suddenly there was knocking on my door and I growled a little resting my head against his chest. "We can ignore it." Shawn whispered into my ear, before the knocking continued.

"I should get it..." I groaned pushing myself away from his body and walking over to the door. I unlocked the door and opened it just enough to see who was there.

"Morning. We've got another death." Sam said with Dean stood next to him. Dean was almost glaring at me.

"Awesome, give me a minute to find my shoes." I said when Shawn came to stand behind me.

"Who was killed?" He asked and I saw both Sam and Dean's reaction. Sam was shocked and Dean was raging.

"Um..." Sam said looking to me.

"He's a psychic friend of Bobby's. Shawn this is Sam and Dean Winchester." I said introducing everyone as I took a step back so the guys could walk in. Shawn grabbed his t-shirt and pulled in on.

"Nikolai Lishin." Sam said plainly.

"The spoon guy?" I asked pulling on my boots.

"Yeah." Shawn said sadly.

"You knew him?" Sam asked.

"He was a hack. In it for the money, like the majority of people round here." Shawn shrugged. "He wasn't that big of a douche bag."

"I'm sorry Shawn." I said rubbing his arm. Shawn looked at me with a sad smile and shrugged.

"Just stop what's killed them Meg." Shawn said and lent in to kiss me on the cheek. "Meeting for dinner?" He whispered to me.

"Could be late." I replied knowing all too well both Winchesters were watching us.

"Call me." Shawn said before walking out of the motel room.

* * *

><p>We drove to the house in relative silence. Dean was clearly in a mood with me, but I really didn't know what I had done. So I choose to ignore it. We walked into the house and saw the bloodstained coffee table and scattered silverware.<br>"He probably should have bent those with the power of his mind." Dean muttered as a policeman walked over to us.

"Chief. We met at the station." Sam said to the chief.

"Right. Morning, Agent." The Chief replied.

"Morning. Uh, this is Agent Borne, and our consultant Ms. Green. So, what happened?" Sam asked after introducing us.

"It's a weird one. Chest full of cutlery." The chief said shaking his head.

"All right. We're gonna take a look around. Let us know if you get any leads." Dean said firmly.

"Oh, I got leads coming out of my ass. As of 9 o'clock, our tip line had 46 calls, all from clairvoyants that know what really happened." The chief said sceptically, glancing at me.

"What's the popular theory?" Dean asked seriously.

"It's a toss-up between a ghost and some sort of ogre that only attacks Russians." The chief sighed.

"Policing Lily Dale sounds fun." Dean said sarcastically.

"It was either this or Los Angeles." The chief replied. Dean shrugged a little.

"So, these clairvoyants, did they give any details as to why they thought it was a ghost? Or a... Russian ogre?" Sam asked seriously.

"Their spirit monkey said so. Plus, apparently, this guy claims he had a vision of his own death, cutlery and all." The chief explained as Dean's phone rang.

"Excuse me." Dean said taking his phone call just out of ear shot.

"Thank you chief." Sam said and we looked at the crime scene a little more.

"Ghost, well that's a lead." I said looking down at the coffee table.

"Yeah, and vision's of his own death... maybe your psychic friend could help." Sam said with a small smirk to me.

"Shawn? I doubt it." I said and caught the look Sam was giving me. "Alright Winchester, ask it." I huffed, putting my hands on my hips. Sam threw his hands up in defence.

"I'm not saying anything." Sam cried out.

"No, but clearly you're thinking something." I sighed.

"No, I, I think it's nice that you um...you found a friend." Sam said quickly.

"Oh lord..." I sighed looking back around the room.

"You know Dean's pissed at you though." Sam said coming to stand next to me.

"I had noticed... why?" I asked glancing up at Sam.

"I'm not sure." Sam shrugged. "We still aren't really talking..." He added. Dean got off the phone and told us we needed to check out some other address.

* * *

><p>We got to the house of Melanie Goldy's house, the granddaughter of the second psychic to snuff it. The guys had already talked to her once, but now she had something she wanted us to hear. We all sat in her living room with Melanie holding her land line phone.<p>

"I hadn't checked it until today. I mean, the only person who ever called my land line was my grandma." Melanie said, clearly shaken up.

"That's okay. Go on." Sam said softly.

"Look, I wouldn't put any stock in it. I mean, she was always calling me with some crazy dream she was sure was a sign, that kind of thing, but...uh, is it true Nikolai had a real vision of his death?" Melanie asked looking at Dean.

"That's what we were told." Dean said with a small nod.

"Well, so did she- the day she died." Melanie explained.

"What'd she say?" Dean asked softly.

"Well, you can listen to it if you want. She said she was in a seance, then the lights go, it's freezing." Melanie explained.

"Wait, she said that? That the room got cold?" I asked softly.

"Yeah. Why? Is that important?" Melanie asked as we all looked at each other. "What? What is it?"

"A ghost. The real deal." Dean finally said looking back at Melanie.

"Come on. You're serious." Melanie asked seriously.

"Yeah. See, there's, uh, fake whoo-whoo crap, and there's real whoo-whoo crap." Dean explained.

"Well, yeah, but... ghosts?" Melanie asked, taking it surprisingly well.

"Oh, trust me. There's a lot weirder out there than that." Dean scoffed lightly.

"So _The X-files_ is real, or you just stopped talking like an FBI agent." Melanie said looking at Dean.

"Well, um... we're not FBI agents." Sam explained softly.

"I need a drink." Melanie stated.

"I support that." Dean smirked a little.

* * *

><p>We left Melanie's house after we knew she wasn't going to call the real cops and drop us in it. While we were talking with her I could see Dean kind of liked her a little. In that moment I realised that Dean was mad for me sleeping with Shawn. But also in that moment, I felt the littlest pang of jealousy over Dean.<p>

"You know, if this is a spirit, it ain't your average spook tied to a house. I mean, this thing is boogieing all over town." Dean explained as we walked over to Dean's Dodge.

"Not surprised." Sam sighed noticing something. "I mean, how many crystal balls do you figure there are in Lily Dale?"

"Somewhere between 50 and, uh, all of them." Dean replied as we reached the car.

"Well, I mean, quartz can act as an antenna for spirits. I mean, that's why mediums started using crystal balls in the first place." I explained as we paused by the car.

"Well, that means that every store front in town has got a ghost satellite dish." Dean sighed.

"Exactly. And this place is packed with people summoning spirits." Sam added.

"Yeah, but, dude, most of these guys can't even call a taxi." Dean pointed out.

"All it takes is one." Sam added.

"That's gonna be like looking for a needle in a stack of fake needles." Dean huffed.

"It's worse. I mean, I'll bet you anything some of these guys got real juice. I'm not talking kill-people level. I'm just saying, enough to make it complicated." Sam added rubbing his head.

"I hate this town. All right, so..." Dean asked holding open the door of the Dodge. "... what? Start hitting up the Miss Cleos?"

"I was thinking split up and canvass. It's faster." Sam said and started to walk away.

"Right. 'Course you were." Dean sighed and turned to me, a scowl covering his face.

"I'm out..." I said turning away and walking in an opposite direction.

* * *

><p>So we split up, hitting all the psychic's in the town, figuring out who was real, fake and who just didn't have a clue what they were doing. I must have covered half the town when I got a text from Dean telling me to meet him at the Lily Dale Museum of Curiosities. I walked into Sam as we reached the place. Dean was stood outside and filled us in the details of the ghost and the truth about the visions. We were fallowing a group on a tour.<br>"Lily Dale has long been a haven for the psychically gifted. Tortured elsewhere, they're embraced here. My own family has a modest natural gift. We also celebrate our long and colourful history of... embellisher's." The museum guide commented as the group laughed a little. He pointed to the display just behind him. "Ectoplasm illusion, circa 1890." He explained. I looked at Sam as he rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. I fallowed him and Dean out into the stair way.  
>"Walking, walking. Now as you may know, ectoplasm..." The guide explained as we walked into a room full of sibling acts. "...comes from the Greek <em>ecto<em>..." The guide continued as we looked at a sigh that said The Mystifying Campbell Brothers. At this Sam sighed and the name seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't place it.

"Never ended well for the siblings." The guide said appearing from nowhere.

"Why is that?" Dean sighed.

"Mm, the strain of working together, or maybe just being around each other all their lives. Those two were the exception, actually - the Campbell's. Got along famously. Of course, that was just a stage name. They weren't actually brothers. That was a cover for their, um... alternative lifestyle. Any other questions I can answer?" The guide asked looking at all three of us.

"Yes. Who are they?" Sam asked pointing to another picture. One of two women.

"Oh, the Fox sisters - among the founders of Lily Dale. Kate Fox - quite troubled, apparently, but mesmerizing on stage. She's said to be able to levitate objects and foretell one's death." The guide explained.

"That's her." Dean said to me and Sam.

"Her older sister, Margaret - perhaps not a natural psychic." The guide explained.

"So, full of crap." Dean said in a plain tone.

"Yes, well... she didn't have her sister's charisma, but she looked after Kate. Sometimes, one's true gift is taking care of others." The guide said looking to Dean.

"So, what happened to them?" Dean asked.

"Lived here all their lives." The guide answered.

"Lived here and died here?" I asked softly.

"Yes, well... buried in the cemetery." The guide explained.

"Great. That was very educational. Thank you. Dean." Sam said as me and Sam walked away. We got outside and stood waiting for Dean to show.

"He mad at me for Shawn." I sighed pushing some hair out of my face.

"Figured as much." Sam shrugged a little.

"Yeah well... I just want to get this case over with so I can leave." I sighed as Dean walked down to us and we started to walk down the street.

"All right. Hit up the graveyard, dig up Kate?" Sam asked.

"All right. Wait a second." Dean said grabbing Sam's arm.

"All signs point to her, Dean." Sam said and started to walk again.

"No. Just hold on a damn minute." Dean said making both me and Sam stop and turn to face him. "Enough with _just the facts._"

"We agreed-" Sam started to say when Dean cut him off.

"No, we agreed to work the case. We didn't agree for you to be a dick the whole time." Dean huffed.

"What?" Sam asked shocked.

"You're pissed, okay? And you've got a right." Dean explained.

"Yeah, damn straight." Sam said with a firm nod.

"But enough's enough." Dean added.

"Says who? Look, I'll work this damn case, but you lied to me, and you killed my friend." Sam said, turning to walk away. I glanced at Dean with sad eyes and he started after Sam.

"No, I put down a monster who killed four people, and if you didn't know her, you'd have done the same thing." Dean explained.

"I did know her, Dean." Sam pointed.

"Yeah, which is why you couldn't do it." Dean explained making Sam stop. "Look, I get it. There are certain people in this world, no matter how dangerous they are, you just can't." Dean explained as Sam turn to face Dean.

"Don't pull that card! That's bull. Look, if I've learned one thing, it's that if something feels wrong, it probably is!" Sam snapped at Dean.

"Usually, yeah. But killing Amy was not wrong. You couldn't do it, so I did. That's what family does- the dirty work. And I woulda told you, eventually, once I knew that this whole _waving a gun at Satan_ thing was a one-time show. I think it's reasonable to want to know that you're off the friggin' high dive, Sam. You almost got us all killed, so you can be pissed all you want, but quit being a bitch." Dean said walking past us both and getting in the Dodge. Both me and Sam just stood there and watched him.

"He kinda has a point dude..." I said rubbing Sam's arm before walking and getting in the back seat. "You didn't need to blow up at him." I said to Dean who just grunted at me.

"I've had enough of this crap." Dean grumbled.

"Feel better for getting it out there?" I asked softly.

"Slightly." Dean grumbled again.

* * *

><p>That night we went to grave yard to dig up good old ghostly come kill people. We took it in turns to hold the flash light, dig and keep watch. I just finished my turn digging when Dean held out his hand to help me out of the grave.<p>

"Thanks." I said softly as he pulled me out.

"Don't mention it. Don't you have a date?" He asked as Sam passed him the flash light and dived into the grave. I brushed myself down and pulled my hair loose before tying it back up.

"Something more important cropped up." I sighed, resting against the grave stone. Dean nodded to me before Sam spoke.

"I get why she's killing people. I don't get why she's warning them." Sam said as he started to dig.

"Give them a taste of the curse, maybe? It couldn't have been a joyride." Dean shrugged looking over at me. Sam finished digging, reaching the grave.

"Here we go." Sam sighed climbing out of the grave. Dean poured the lighter fluid as Sam pored the salt over the bones in the coffin. Suddenly a woman materialised and it became clear she was the ghost. She rushed Sam sending him sprawling.

"Sam!" Both me and Dean cried out at the same time.

"Back off, crazy eyes." Dean said as the ghost turned to us.

"Listen to me. Why isn't anybody listening?" She cried out, almost like she was pleading with us. Dean held out his lighter and flicked it but it didn't catch fire.  
>"No." The ghost called out. She was pleading with us, and sure I had herd ghost plead before, but she seemed genuine.<p>

"Dean..." I said trying to get his attention.

"You don't get a vote." Dean said looking the ghost dead in the eyes.

"No! Stop!" The ghost cried out again as Dean tried to light his lighter but it wasn't working. Suddenly Sam threw a lit match into the grave. "No!" The ghost cried out rushing Dean and burning up in the process.

"Nice timing." Dean said turning to Sam with a smile. We all sat in the Dodge as Sam gave me a lift back to the motel when Dean's phone began to ring.  
>"Melanie?" Dean said answering the call. "What's going on? Wait, what do you mean it's-All right. Listen to me. Calm down." Dean replied. Sam took the phone off of him.<p>

"Dean, just give me the phone and drive." Sam replied before talking to Melanie. "Melanie? Hey. Get to the kitchen. All right, just go. Get salt. Find iron. Is there a fireplace? Melanie!" Sam shouted down the phone as Dean sped the car even more than it was going. We pulled up outside the house and Melanie was outside crying on the steps. Dean walked over to her and pulled her close to him, comforting her. Sometime in that moment, the way Dean was being so caring towards her, it hurt me a little.

* * *

><p>We got Melanie to calm down a little and stayed with her before taking her back to her place.<p>

"Should have known that whole _good sis, bad sis_ story was just showmanship crap. Oh, and it turns out that Kate was just trying to warn people about her evil bitch sister. And we burned her bones, so that's gone." Dean ranted pacing in Melanie's living room.

"Dean." Sam said softly.

"What?" Dean snapped turning to his baby brother.

"All we can do now is go stop her." Sam said firmly.

"That's not good enough, by a mile." Dean sighed running a hand through his hair.

"I know. Believe me. But- can we talk about this later?" Sam asked as Melanie came down stairs in a bath robe. It was clear she was still shaken up and crying.

"Hey. How you holding up?" Dean asked Melanie softly.

"Been better." She replied sadly.

"Listen, if you need for us to leave-" Dean said comfortingly.

"I need you guys to leave." Melanie confirmed with a sob.

"Okay, we will. It's just that... Look- Margaret is still out there." Sam sighed throwing her his puppy dog look. This in turn made Melanie sob more. Dean gave his baby brother an unimpressed look.

"What do you guys need to know?" She sobbed, trying to put on a brave face.

"Is there anything that stood out?" I asked softly.

"Well, um... she barely gave a crap about me. I mean, I was just in the way. She was all about getting Camille." Melanie explained to us.

"Okay. That's something." Dean said rubbing her shoulder.

"One other thing. Um... she enjoyed it. She was smiling." Melanie added.

* * *

><p>We got to the graveyard as my phone called. I walked behind the guys as I answered it.<p>

"O'Connor." I stated looking at the head stones for Margaret Fox.

"_You ok? I saw your car was still in the motel parking lot." _Shawn asked as I walked.

"Yeah, just the case got a little more interesting..." I sighed.

"_I herd what happened to Camille, I liked her, she was a friend."_ Shawn said sadly.

"I'm sorry man. If it makes you feel any better, we're going to salt and burn the ghost's bones soon." I said trying to make it sound like a good thing. Shawn let out a small laugh.

"_It helps."_ Shawn chuckled. _"So what happened to dinner?"_

"We were trying to save Camille." I admitted biting my lip.

"_Oh... yeah. Sorry."_ Shawn said sadly. _"Take care out there."_

"I will. I'll call later, I mean, if you want?" I asked stopping just short of the guys.

"_Yeah, yeah I'd like that."_ He said before hanging up. We found the right grave and started to take it in turns digging.

"I feel naked doing this in daylight." Dean commented looking at us both.

"Yeah. Let's just hurry up." Sam sighed as he took over the digging. Finally Sam reached the coffin and broke it open.

"All right, Mags. My lighter's juiced this time." Dean commented as Sam lifted off the top of the coffin lid. We all looked at each other. The grave was empty. All the bones had been taken. We walked back to the car, planning a new way to kill the bitch. "Geraldo'd." Dean sighed.

"Not good." I said sadly.

"Never good." Dean added.

"Guys, if someone knew enough to take Margaret's bones, they're not kidding around. That's serious binding magic." Sam explained.

"Great." Dean said sarcastically put his shovel and bag into the trunk of the Dodge. "Psychic ghost bitch on a leash."

"We got to find those bones." Sam added as we put our shovels in too.

"So we got to find the bonehead." Dean added taking out a piece of paper out of his pocket and tossing it into the trunk too.

"So, what? We call Bobby, see what it take to harness the power of a ghost?" Sam suggested.

"Or Shawn." I added looking to Sam rather than Dean.

"Yeah." Dean replied softly, picking up the paper he tossed into the trunk and unfolded it. "Hey, Sam, Megan, you know why I'm not going to spend my money at the annual Lily Dale E.S.P. Festival and hot-dog-eating contest this year?" Dean asked passing the flyer to us. On the flyer was all the dead people, Goldy, Graven and Lishin.

"Can't imagine." Sam sighed.

"Because all the head liners are dead." Dean explained.

* * *

><p>We decided to split up. Since Dean got on the best with Melanie he went back to her to figure out who her next target would be, and I went with Sam to see if we could find the bones to salt and burn them. We went emporium looking for Jimmy.<p>

"Hey." Sam said as we walked up to Jimmy.

"Agent. Are you here with my check?" Jimmy asked with a quick smirk to me.

"We're looking for someone who bought some things from you." I said as Sam put a piece of paper down on the counter.

"How do you know from me?" Jimmy asked looking from me to Sam.

"I'm kind of doubting they sell ash-wood altars at the Gas 'n Sip." Sam scoffed.

"Valid. Let me see the list." Jimmy said looking at the list and a record book. "Ah. Here we go. Credit-card receipt. I assume you want the address?"

"That'd be great. Thanks." Sam said slightly sarcastically to the guy.

"It's the least I can do. I just heard about Camille Thibideaux." Jimmy said passing Sam the paper with the address on.

"Thanks a lot." Sam said as we walked out the place. We drove to the address and Sam pulled out his gun.

"It looks pretty normal Sam..." I sighed as Sam raced in front, kicking down the door. I herd people scream and I raced up as a woman pointed to a gong. There was a group of pregnant woman sat around.

"You're... not a necromancer." Sam said hiding his gun and giving them a nervous smile.

"This is a Lamaze class, I swear." The instructor cried out.

"I-I believe you. Sorry." Sam said nervously.

"Sorry... um... just keep the babies in the tummies... sorry... really." I said grabbing Sam and leaving the house. "I told you." I added as we climbed into the car. I was driving.

"Yeah I know..." Sam sighed pulling out his phone. "Dean, it's the pawn-shop guy. He goose-chased us to a friggin' pregnant yoga class. I will." Sam said hanging up as I drove to the emporium. We got out and the shop was closed.

"Now what?" I asked peering in the window.

"We go to his home..." Sam said looking at a card in his hands. We walked down the streets until we found the right one. "Bingo." He said to me as we pulled our guns.

* * *

><p>We opened the door and went into the house. All the lights were out and it didn't look like there was anyone around. Sam walked over to a table and picked up a skull showing me it.<p>

"Looks human, real." I sighed as I walked over and we looked at the rest of the things on the table. Suddenly a gun was cocked and it appeared at the back of my neck.

"Somehow, I just knew you'd be back." Jimmy said holding the gun to me. I raised my hands, one with my gun in. Jimmy took the gun out of my hands and threw it away. "Hi, Agent. Put the skull down. And you can drop the gun." Jimmy said to Sam.

"Okay, okay. Take it easy. Here." Sam said holding up the skull so Jimmy could take it. As Jimmy did I turned around taking the gun from Jimmy.

"All right." I said aiming the gun at Jimmy.

"That's enough." Sam added as Jimmy sighed. Sam knocked other the table that had the skull and other objects on. "Nice binding spell." Sam commented.

"It doesn't matter. She helps me because she wants to." Jimmy said.

"What?" Both me and Sam asked at the same time.

"Margaret and me are the same. We're the real thing. But guess what- sometimes the real thing just isn't pretty or entertaining enough. When I show people what I'm capable of, it scares them. I can't pay my rent! Margaret's happy to kill for me. She likes the leash." Jimmy smirked at us. I cocked the gun because the guy made me sick.

"You're sick." Sam added as if he knew my thoughts.

"You know what else I am? A real psychic, you dick-bag." Jimmy stated holding out his hand. The gun flew out of my hands to the floor just at Jimmy's feet. He picked it up and aimed at us. "Surprise." Jimmy smirked at us.

"Awesome... why does this always happen to us?" I sighed looking at Sam for a second.

"Where are the rest of the bones? These people don't deserve to die." Sam as Jimmy aimed the gun between us.

"Oh, come on! Are you kidding me? I live in squalor 'cause I can't put on a show like them?" Jimmy yelled at us.

"Don't do this." I said as Jimmy cocked the gun.

"They're in the bedroom, aren't they?" Sam asked as Jimmy took a step to the left.

"No." Jimmy yelled shooting at Sam but thankfully missing.

"Hey! You don't need to shoot us!" I snapped at Jimmy so he aimed at me instead of Sam.

"You're not getting in there." Jimmy said glancing behind his shoulder. In that second Sam pulled a second gun from the back of his jeans and shoots Jimmy dead as he turned back to shoot us.

"Shit..." I said as we both sighed. I collected my gun as Sam grabbed the skull and we made out way to the bedroom. We couldn't see the bones anywhere.

"You don't think...?" Sam asked as both our eyes dropped on the bed.

"There's no where else..." I said sounding disgusted. Sam pulled the sheets back and sure enough, the bones were there. I poured the salt as Sam poured the lighter fluid and set the bone alight. We watched them burn.

* * *

><p>"So using my awesome psychic powers, I'm going to say, we aren't having dinner." Shawn joked as I lent on my Camero.<p>

"Damn, you should become professional or something..." I half joked. "Sorry." I said softly.

"Hey, we had fun didn't we?" Shawn asked putting his hands on my hips.

"Hell yeah." I answered as we chuckled.

"Well no need to apologise. Just wish we had more time." Shawn shrugged.

"Yeah..." I said sadly.

"But I know, you gotta go find your memories." Shawn said smirking at me. "Something tells me, you'll find them."

"Psychic Shawn speaking or-" I started to say when Shawn cut me off kissing me.

"Are you always such as smart ass?" He asked as we pulled apart.

"Pretty much. It's part of my charm." I smirked as we kissed again.

"Well if your ever this way again, call me." Shawn said taking a step back as I noticed Sam loading up Dean's crappy car.

"I will." I replied giving Shawn one last hug before he walked away. I took a deep breath and shoved my hands into the back pockets of my jeans and walked over to Sam. "One car?" I asked leaning on the Dodge.

"Easier." Sam replied with a smile. "You coming?" Sam asked me.

"You guys need some time to fix everything together." I replied with a sad smile.

"We can do that with you around." Sam said with a warm smile.

"Maybe, but I'm gonna go see if I can figure out anything else about myself." I replied.

"Soul searching." Dean said appearing out of no where. I turned to him and nodded.

"Something like it." I sighed.

"You know, your welcome to travel with us any time." Sam said softly.

"I know." I smiled at Sam.

"That's your stuff." Dean said noticing Sam's stuff.

"Yeah. Yeah. I figured we'd take one car." Sam replied with a small smile.

"Works for me. You still want to break my face?" Dean asked.

"No. Uh, not at this moment. Look, you know what? Um... You were right. About Amy. If she was... just any monster, I'm not sure I could have let her walk away. I don't know. I mean, I'll never know." Sam explained with a small smile.

"So, what are you saying?" Dean asked confused.

"What I'm saying is... I get why you did it. You were just trying to make sure no one else got hurt. But here's the thing. You can't just look me in the face and tell me you're fine. I mean, you're not sleeping, you drink for the record-" Sam started to say.

"Oh, here we go." Dean said turning to me and rolling his eyes.

"Look, whatever. Last one to preach, I know. But... Just be honest with me. How are those the actions of someone who knows they did the right thing?" Sam asked softly.

"You want me to be honest?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam answered.

"I went with my gut. And that felt right. I didn't trust her, Sam. Of course, ever since Cass, I'm having a hard time trusting anybody. And as far as how I been acting... I don't know. Maybe it's 'cause I don't like lying to you. You know, it doesn't feel right. So, yeah, you got me there. I been climbing the walls." Dean admitted.

"I know how that is. But, hey... If I learned one thing from that museum, sibling acts are tough." Sam admitted with a small chuckle.

"Oh, don't compare us to that hall of crazy." Dean smirked as he moved to climb into the drivers side. "We're like poster kids of functional family life compared to them."

"It's a low bar." Sam replied with a chuckle.

"Well, hey... grading on a curve has got me past everything since kindergarten, so don't knock it." Dean laughed.

"Whatever you say." Sam smirked to me.

"See you guys around." I said before walking back to my car. I could hear them joking around and I actually felt happy leaving them.

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><p>I hope you enjoyed it! I can't wait to write the next two chapters! Weddings and my own that I've been planning for months now! So excited! So please, spend two seconds and review, let me know what you think!<p> 


	10. Coming Soon

So I wanted to give you a taste of what's coming up... I know I've never done this before. But I thought, what the hell, I want some feedback, see what you all think.

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><p>"What did you remember?" Dean asked glancing at me. I bit my bottom lip and looked out of the window. The memory of getting married, the drama-with angels, the flowers, the rush. I remembered it all. I remembered how much I was in love with Dean. It mixed up my emotions. "Megan?" Dean asked softly, putting a hand on my knee. I turned to him and in that moment I was back at the church, seeing the man I married. Dean looked worried and pulled over. "Meg-" Dean started to say when I dived on him. I kissed him hard, wrapping my arms around his neck. Dean was shocked for all of two seconds before his hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled me onto him. The kiss was so passionate, everything the kisses on the wedding day had been. With my eyes closed I couldn't tell if we were back in the church or in a car. He held me close as he kissed me more.<p>

* * *

><p>"Come on, come on, come on!" Dean cried out as he ran into the room. They were all stood around the hospital bed. Tears rolled down from Sam's eyes, even if had control, he would have let them fall in that moment. Bobby stood at the back of the room, his mouth a little open, the shock clear on his face. None of them were prepared for this to happen. None of them wanted this to happen. Dean cried out again, the raw pain, guilt seeping over every plea. "Come on, come on Megan! Don't, don't do this! Please, god don't do this!" He cried out as the machines horrid single string of noise bleared out. The doctors rushed in and in a motion of blur they used the defibrillator on her body. Lifeless it jumped into the air and landed back onto the bed, still and just as lifeless.<br>"Please girl..." Bobby's own plea barely above a whisper. Bobby had seen death, literally, and he'd always faced it head on. But in that moment. Seeing her body, just laying there, knowing, knowing deep down there was nothing they could do to help. Bobby did the one thing he hadn't done in a long time. He prayed. He prayed for her life.  
>"No, no, no!" Dean cried out, the tears streaming down his face as Sam held him back. Sam couldn't believe his eyes. It just wasn't registering with him. The shock was too much. All of them were seasoned hunters, they'd practically seen hell, in two cases they actually had. They had face demons, gods, angels and even a devil, but nothing. Nothing had prepared them for that moment. The doctors work on her for a few more minutes before the lead doctor turned to his junior. The expression was easy to read. This was it.<br>"Time of death-" The doctor announced and all that could be herd his Dean's cry of pain.  
>"NO!" The word is so simple, yet filled with so much raw pain. So much love, so much loss. It choked Sam to see his strong big brother, break down in his arms. Dean just fell to the floor, his eyes locked on the lifeless body.<br>"God... you took the wrong one." Bobby muttered as the tears roll off his face. Dean on the floor, rocked back and forth slightly as he just looked at her body. He felt so helpless. So weak.

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><p>So send me a few reviews, let me know what you all think, yeah? Thanks!<p> 


	11. It's Time For A Wedding!

Ok, well this is the first of two chapters I am really excited about! I mean I've had this idea since I started this story and I really hope you guys like it and don't think it's some lame peice of ****! Well I hope you guys like this first chapter! I was so in love with the ep! Made me laugh so hard at points, sure it doesn't really fit the season, but as an ep alone, make me chuckle more than once! So enjoy!  
>P.S - big thanks to geminixoxo, klandgraf2007, xxjempa1112LuvSPNxx and Asya55 for the reviews! Dude so glad you guys like the teaser bit! Woot!<p>

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><p>Drunk, well technically faking being drunk is actually harder than you'd think. I mean have you ever tried to pretend to be drunk for longer than a few minutes. It takes true effort not to snap back to normality. Especially when a real drunk guy tries to feel you up every time he walks by. But I had to focus. <em>Money. I just need another $100 and then I can forget all about Mr Creepy McFeelton, the bar, and being 'drunk'. Just another $100...<em>

"Oh shoot." I slurred as I stood up straight from missing the black ball. Mr Creepy McFeelton's grin showed a little to extra teeth for my liking. He lent over the table and potted the black with ease.

"Well honey, that means I win. Again." Creepy said smirking at me, his eyes raking over my clothes. A short denim skirt and purple vest top with a slit to show off my bust. I pouted slightly as I reached into the back pocket of the skirt and pulled out $50. I counted it slowly, and then looked back over to Creepy.

"Well," I hiccuped. "What if we play one more game? Double or quits?" I asked swaying a little on the spot as I flashed him a grin. Creepy, like the lap dog he was, took it all in. He finished his beer and swayed over to me. He lent down to whisper in my ear and I had to fight to not punch the guy as his hand landed on my arse.

"I don't want your money," He whispered as he squeezed my arse. "But when you loose again, I'm sure we can come to some kind of understanding."

"Sure thing, big boy." I giggled with wink as I walked away from the guy setting up the table again. I wanted to rip him into pieces. I hated having to pimp myself out to get money. But I really needed it. The little I had put aside went quicker than I'd like, I gave some to Dean and Sam to help them. The rest went on food, salt, gas... life. _Just one more game... then I can I go. Just $100 then that's it. You can last that long... sure you can._

"I'll even let you break honey." Creepy said as he went to stand behind me. I had had enough of the guy. I smirked as I lent over hiccuping again before lining up my shot. I took one deep breath and broke the table, potting two or three balls in the process. I stood up, still faking being drunk and turned to the guy. "I guess my luck's changed!" I giggled as I saw the guy loose his smile.

"Thanks for the money, honey." I said picking up my winnings a nice easy $100. "Be seeing ya." I added as I continued my fake drunk act as I walked out of the small bar. I got into the parking lot and let out a heavy sigh as I tucked the money into my bra. I pulled my hair down and shook it loose, releasing some of the tension in my body. It took me three day's to get the money together but I was finally ready. _Thankfully that guy was an idiot and it was like playing a baby. I just gotta get tomorrow over with then I can-_

"Hey wait up!" The drunk slur of Mr Creepy broke me from my thoughts. I sighed inwardly as the guy rushed over to me, blocking my path. "That's my money." He said firmly.

"You bet it." I said slurring my words a little.

"You played me!" The guy yelled as I herd the door of the bar open again and about three more guys walk out.

"Look, if you couldn't handle the bet, you really shouldn't have played..." I said with a soft smile. The man frowned at me, pulling out a flick knife.

"I want my money bitch!" The man growled at me. I groaned looking at the knife and then the drunken idiot holding it. Out of the corner of my eye I saw two guys approach me from the right and one more from the left. The way Mr Creepy looked at them, told me they were his buddies. "Hand it over!" He said waving the knife around.

"As much as I normally would do, I can't. Not this time. I need this money." I said firmly, loosing all my fake drunk act.

"No one plays me and gets away with it!" The man growled glancing at his buddies. I sighed and nodded slowly.

"Good job I'm not no one then." I muttered pulling out my fake FBI badge from the second back pocket. I held it up to Mr Creepy. "FBI. Put the knife down, and we'll all just walk away. Ok?"

"She's a Fed! Let's get out of here!" One of Creepy's drunk buddies yelled and two ran off. Leaving me with Creepy and stunt guy to my right.

"No way I'm letting some bitch cop steal my money!" Creepy yelled and lunged forward with his flick knife. I slapped his wrist, sending his balance off, making him stumble to the left as the second guy charged at me. I tripped up the second guy, giving him a sharp blow to the neck as he fell. Creepy regained his balance and charged at me again, a snarl on his lips as he ran at me.

"Oh brother." I sighed kicking the blade clean out of his hand and then adding a kick to his stomach making him double over. As he folded in too, I added a knee to the nose and leg sweep so he landed flat on his back. I put my foot on his chest as he groaned looking up at me. "I'm leaving, get up and I will hurt you more. Understand?" I asked firmly.

"Uh huh." Creepy groaned as his eyes rolled backwards into his head.

"Good boy." I chuckled as I walked to my car, double checking my money.

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><p>I locked the motel room door and threw my jacket on the near by table. I pulled my top off and wiggled out of the skirt. I was wearing nothing but my underwear as I pulled the money out of my bra. I pulled a safe box out of my back pack and unlocked the combination padlock.<p>

"Alright... let's see." I sighed putting the box on the bed as I sat on it crossing my legs under me. I sat there and counter the money in the box. "Ok, so that makes $320.90 cents." I sighed looking at the money. "Man the thing's I could spend it on..." I sighed softly. Suddenly my phone rang, it made me jump a little as it was nearly 1 am. I groaned getting up and walking over to my skirt, pulling my phone out of it's pocket. "O'Connor." I sighed walking back to the bed.

"_Megan, hey..." _Dean said sounding slightly nervous. We hadn't really talked since I left him with Sam back in Lily Dale. I crossed my legs as I sat in front of the money again.

"Hey Dean. Everything ok?" I asked softly.

"_Yeah, yeah... sure super. I um I was just calling to see how you are..."_ Dean sighed then let out a small chuckle to himself.

"I'm... um, fine." I said glancing at the money. "You?"

"_Me? Huh I'm... in Vegas with Sammy. Just the two of us... hanging out, you know?" _Dean said sounding a little drunk. I raised an eyebrow and sighed softly. Everyone who knew Dean, knew he was drinking more lately. I knew Sam was worried and hell Bobby had even talked to him about it, but Dean wouldn't talk to anyone about it.

"Sounds nice, been drinking?" I asked softly, already knowing the answer.

"_A little, but hey, it's Vegas." _Dean laughed a little.

"Yeah, yeah... So, um it's late and I've had a busy day..." I said quickly.

"_Oh yeah, yeah.. sorry. Just wanted to say hi."_ Dean replied softly. There was something in his voice, something that told me maybe he needed help.

"You sure everything's ok Dean?" I asked biting on my lip.

"_Sure."_ Dean sighed._ "Come on, I got Sammy back, everything's, no it's good. Sorry to keep you up..."_ Dean replied before hanging up. I looked at my phone for a few minutes tossing up whether or not to call Dean back and check up on him. I knew for a fact Sam wasn't with Dean, sure they were both in Vegas, but in different places. I sighed resigning to the fact that I wasn't in their lives any more. I put the phone on the bed side unit and locked the money away. I changed into some pj's and climbed into bed. I fell asleep instantly and was enjoying the silent slumber when my phone started to ring again. I groaned rolling over, reaching out for the damn evil machine. I had meant to put it on silent in case anyone called, but forgot. I finally found the thing and answered it.

"O'Connor." I muttered as I laid back on the bed.

"_Meg, um we're doing this now._" Sam said, his voice was filled of so much excitement.

"Doing what now?" I asked as my mind was still catching up with the rude wake up call. I herd Sam laugh and the words registered in my mind. "NOW?" I cried out sitting up in the bed. I flicked on the light it was a little after 2:30 am.

"_Yeah, we... um we want to do it now. Can you still make it?_" Sam asked laughing at me.

"Um, sure. Yeah, yeah... where are you guys?" I asked getting out of bed as I spoke.

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><p>Twenty-five minutes later I was standing outside 'A Little White Chapel' on the Strip with Sam and his very nervous looking bride to be Becky. Sam had called me a couple of days ago asking me to get to Vegas as soon as possible. I thought he and Dean were in danger, so naturally I rushed there. When I found Sam, he presented Becky to me, telling me they were madly in love and were planning to get married. I was a little shocked sure, but Sam genuinely looked happy with Becky. Becky was a big 'Supernatural' fan, the books based on the guys life. Becky ranted to me how we had met before and how she knew all about my life. Sam had already explained that I had memory loss, so Becky took it upon herself to fill me in with useless information. I had helped Becky find a dress and they had decided to get married during the day. Sure, I found Becky slightly annoying, but hell she made Sam happy. And if she made him happy, I couldn't argue with it.<p>

"So, earlier?" I asked smiling at the couple.

"Oh yeah, we just couldn't wait!" Becky said clapping her hands like an excited monkey. "You're wearing the dress! You look amazing in it! Doesn't she look amazing Sam?" Becky added looking at my clothes. It was a one sleeved mid thigh purple dress. I wasn't so sure of it, but when we got Becky's dress she had insisted I wore something feminine and since the closest things I had were hooker clothes or official suits, she made me buy the damn dress. I couldn't argue, it was for her big day after all...

"She looks great, but no where near as beautiful as you." Sam said pulling Becky a little closer and kissing her forehead as she blushed.

"Aww." I smirked as someone walked out the front door and looked over to us.

"Next wedding, if you wanna get ready?" A guy asked before turning and walking back inside. Becky bounced up and down on the spot squealing a little.

"This is so exciting! Are you going to-" Becky asked turning to Sam.

"I will, now go, try to make yourself look more beautiful, not that it's possible." Sam said kissing Becky again. I forced myself not to roll my eyes at the couple. Becky sighed softly and turned to me.

"Ready?" She asked with a wide grin.

"Sure." I smiled with a nod to Sam as we walked into the chapel. There was a small room for the 'brides' to get ready in. Becky changed into her dress and then I helped her with her veil and her make-up. "Excited?" I asked smiling sweetly at her. She really did look pretty in the dress and veil.

"Oh man, I am so excited! Sam is the most perfect man ever! And he's marrying me! Me! Becky Rosen!" Becky smirked at me. I could see how much she really cared for Sam and it made me smile.

"Becky, you must be pretty special for Sam to fall this hard. Don't put yourself down." I said and noticed Becky lose her smile for a second. "Becky?" I asked softly.

"Oh I'm just excited. You don't' remember, but I've always felt a connection between me and Sam, ever since we first met." Becky started on a rant again. I nodded politely and helped her with her finishing touches.

"There, the prefect bride." I smiled at Becky.

"Thank you Megan, for being here for us." Becky said sincerely.

"Hey, your gonna be family, don't sweat it." I said warmly. Becky put the pink flower on my dress and nodded.

"Ok, go let Sam know I'm ready." Becky nodded taking a deep breath.

"Good luck." I smirked before walking out.

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><p>I walked into the chapel and Sam was stood there nervously. I walked over to him and shook my head. "Man you look as bad as Becky." I teased.<p>

"I just, you know?" Sam sighed and I smiled at him.

"She's almost ready. You good to go?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, yeah... almost." Sam said glancing to the door.

"Almost?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, just gotta check one thing..." Sam said walking down the aisle to the double door. Sam opened the doors and behind them was Dean with a gun, in a suit. I was confused. "Dean. It's okay. You won't need that. Come on." Sam said leading Dean back to the front of the chapel. Dean looked at me utterly confused.

"I thought you were out, uh, becoming one with the land or some crap." Dean said to Sam as they walked over to us.

"You got to- come here." Sam said putting Dean into position for best man. "All right. Now..." Sam said getting the flower out.

"Hi." Dean said to the official then turn to me. "Hey." Dean said checking me out in the dress. I tried to pull it down but it wouldn't budge. Sam put the flower on Dean's lapel. "What is this?" Dean asked Sam.

"Uh, apparently, uh, pink is for loyalty." Sam smirked attaching it.

"All right, so, what's the pretext? What are we - uh, wedding crashers, huh? We lookin' for some kind of siren or what?" Dean asked looking around slightly.

"No. Nothing like that. All right, um... So, a little sudden. But life is short, so I'll keep this shorter." Sam said putting his hand on Dean's shoulder. "I'm in love. And I'm getting married." Dean just stared blankly at Sam. "Say something, like, uh, like, _congratulations_, for example."

"What?" Dean asked blankly, looking over to me for help. I shrugged my shoulders and he turned back to Sam. Before he could say anything else the Bridal Chorus played and Becky walked in with her veil down. "What the hell?" Dean asked again as Becky stopped just in front of us. Sam smiled at her as he lifted her veil up. "Becky?" Dean asked in total shock.

"Dean. I'm so glad you're here." Becky beamed at him. I wanted to laugh at Dean's expression- it was total shock. I mean I don't think I had ever seen his face like that before. I wanted to take a picture it was that good.

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><p>The ceremony wasn't that long, but Sam and Becky got married while Dean was still in utter shock. He kept glancing at me for help, but I didn't see the problem. After the ceremony Beck and Sam sat opposite each other holding their wedding finger hands. It was kinda cute if I was honest.<p>

"Shouldn't she ask for my permission or something?" Dean asked pacing around.

"Y-you want her to ask for my hand?" Sam smirked as he turned to his brother.

"How in the- How did this happen?" Dean asked standing next to me as we looked at the new couple.

"Short version? We- we- we met. We ate and - and talked and fell in love. And, you know, here we are." Sam smirked turning to Becky again.

"Yeah, I -I guess I'm all caught up. That's- okay. You know what? Ignoring everything, have you forgotten the average life-span of your hookups?" Dean asked shaking his head at his baby brother.

"Yeah, but-" Sam started to say when Becky cut him off.

"But if anyone knows that, it's me. I mean, I read every book. So, open eyes, you know?," Becky answered turning to Sam. "Open eyes." She said as the pair grinned at each other.

"I'm gonna be sick." Dean said rolling his eyes.

"Dude." I said frowning at Dean.

"Don't. You don't remember." Dean said looking at me with a serious expression.

"Dean, look, it's simple. If- if something good is happening, I -I got to jump on it- now, today, uh, period." Sam said looking at Dean.

"Okay, _Dead Poets Society._ Fine." Dean sighed and turned to Becky. "No offence." he muttered before turning back to Sam. "Did you make sure she's even really-"

"Salt, holy water, everything. See?" Becky answered cutting Dean off, holding out her arm that had a cut on it. "Not a monster. Just the right girl for your brother."

"Ah." Dean sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"That's it." Becky smirked at Sam. A man walked over to us with a folder, trying to hand it to Sam.

"The bill." The man said softly.

"I got it. You three do your family thing." Becky said standing up and walking away with the man. As soon as she was out of ear shot Dean exploded.

"Really? Super fan ninety-nine?" Dean cried out looking at me and Sam like we were insane.

"Dean, look. Honest to God, I- I had the exact same opinion of her as you do. But when we got past the whole book thing, I found out t-that she's great and I was the dick." Sam said softly, smiling at the thought of Becky.

"Yeah, you know, speaking of the whole, uh, book thing... Becky randomly shows up during Vegas week?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam smiled.

"Yeah." Dean said plainly.

"Okay, um, what are you trying to say?" Sam asked getting a little annoyed at his brother.

"I'm saying maybe she knew you were gonna be here. Maybe, uh, uh, uh, Chuck wrote about it." Dean said waving a hand.

"Dean, you're paranoid." Sam said plainly.

"And you're in love? It's been four days, man!" Dean cried out. Sam stood up gathering the rest of Becky's things.

"You know what, Dean? You know what? Um, how about this? Becky and I are gonna go up to her place in Delaware. Um, why don't you try and wrap your dome around this, get a little supportive, then give us a call?" Sam said clapping Dean on the shoulder before the pair walked out of the chapel. Dean sighed and turned to me.

"You, you knew about this?" Dean asked me.

"Since yesterday... Dean, if he's happy-" I started to argued as we walked out.

"Happy? He, he, he- She is a freaking stalker! Now they're married!" Dean cried out as we walked into the parking lot.

"Maybe, maybe they found love, why is that so crazy?" I asked softly.

"Why? Why? Because it's Becky! That's why!" Dean cried out throwing his arm out. I shook my head sighing softly.

"Dude, she isn't that bad..." I sighed walking towards my Camero.

"Not that bad? Not that bad! It is so clear you don't remember a damn thing!" Dean cried out as he fallowed me over to my car. I stopped and turned on my heels.

"And whys that?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"Because you hated Becky! She drove you insane! Seriously! You, you wanted to punch her a few times!" Dean explained.

"So people can change." I sighed again with a small shrug.

"Becky?" Dean cried out. I shook my head and pulled out my car keys.

"Dean, you just gotta accept Sam's happy. With Becky. So just... just try and be happy for them, you know?" I asked leaning on my car.

"Why can't anyone see it?" Dean muttered running a hand through his hair before looking me dead in the eyes. "You look nice in that dress." Dean said with a warm smile. I pulled at the bottom again.

"Thanks, Becky picked it out." I said leaning forward and taking off Dean's pink flower. "I don't think you were meant to keep-" Suddenly the world was spinning, everything was too bright and I was getting a memory back.

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><p><em>The wind was gentle as it blew past us. It was a warm, summer breeze. It was enough of a breeze to make the cherry blossom fall from Dean's ear. I raced after it for some stupid reason. I grabbed it and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist pulling me around to come face to face with Dean. The light hit him in just the right way and my god... he was stunning. I smirked as I placed the flower back behind his ear.<em>

"_There." I smiled as he lowered his face to mine and pressed his lips against mine. They were so soft, so lush, so damn perfect. My heart raced as I kissed back making it more passionate as I slipped my tongue into the mix. I herd a soft sigh from Dean as his hands held me a little tighter and closer. I smiled into the kiss as it became hungry, wanting, needing for a physical connection. We broke apart panting slightly, but as soon as we parted I saw his brilliant green eyes shining as he smiled at me._

"_Mrs Winchester, you are beautiful." He whispered before kissing my nose. I chuckled shaking my head a little as I looked up at him._

"_Mr Winchester, I don't think I could be more happy than I am right now." I smiled as I glanced at my hand with the simple gold band on._

"_We did it." Dean smirked before kissing me softly again._

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><p>"Son of a-" I was sat in the passenger side of my car, slightly confused. I looked around and Dean was driving my car. "Do you even know where your going?" I asked blinking as the bright lights died down.<p>

"Hey, hey, take it easy." Dean said glancing at me. I smiled at him and checked my face. There wasn't any blood from my nose, it was a good sign.

"Where you taking me Winchester?" I asked looking over at Dean.

"Back to my motel. Until you woke up." Dean explained.

"Well... I'm awake now." I said softly.

"What did you remember?" Dean asked glancing at me. I bit my bottom lip and looked out of the window. The memory of getting married, the drama-with angels, the flowers, the rush. I remembered it all. I remembered how much I was in love with Dean. It mixed up my emotions. "Megan?" Dean asked softly, putting a hand on my knee. I turned to him and in that moment I was back at the church, seeing the man I married. Dean looked worried and pulled over. "Meg-" Dean started to say when I dived on him. I kissed him hard, wrapping my arms around his neck. Dean was shocked for all of two seconds before his hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled me onto him. The kiss was so passionate, everything the kisses on the wedding day had been. With my eyes closed I couldn't tell if we were back in the church or in a car. He held me close as he kissed me more. We broke apart to catch our breath and I saw the passion in his green eyes, quickly fallowed by the confusion. The confusion brought me crashing back to reality.

"I... I..." I mumbled as I climbed off Dean and sat back down. "I don't know... I'm sorry if..." I mumbled as Dean just sat there watching me.

"You haven't kissed me like that since..." Dean said softly. "Are, are you ok?" He asked snapping out of his memory.

"Yeah, I... I shouldn't have... I don't know why..." I said looking at my lap. I could still feel his eyes on me. Apart of me wanted to look up and jump on him again. It didn't feel ashamed, not in the least. Part of me knew we were a couple and wanted to be as one. The other half, it panicked, it couldn't understand my actions. It couldn't wrap around. the fusion of memories and present situations. "Can you, um... I should go back...to my room.." I mumbled into my lap. Without another word Dean started the car and drove me back. We raced the motel and we both got out of my car. It was beyond awkward and I wasn't sure what to say to make it any better.

"Feeling better?" Dean asked softly, it still made me jump a little.

"Yeah. Yeah... Look Dean-" I started to say turning to face him.

"I know." He said with a sadness to his voice. It hurt like a punch to the stomach.

"I just... it's crazy in here." I sighed pointing to my head.

"I bet." Dean said putting his hands into his pockets.

"Are you going to be ok to get back to your motel?" I asked pushing some hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, I'm just round the corner." Dean said throwing a thumb backwards.

"Oh," I said surprised. "Good... Good." I said softly and looked at the floor. I took a deep breath and looked back up. Dean was just stood there watching me, as if I was some beautiful painting or amazing flower. "Um, night Dean. Thanks for dropping me off." I said taking a step closer to him and kissing his cheek.

"Any time Megan." Dean replied as I stepped back. I nodded and he nodded too. "You um, you look really good in that dress by the way." Dean said with another nod before turning and waking away. I smiled to myself before turning to go back to my room.

* * *

><p>The next morning I packed up my car, ready to hit the road. I was heading, well I wasn't sure yet, but I knew who I was looking for. Someone who could help me remember who I was. Someone Becky helped me discover. Sam and Becky had invited me up to their place in Delaware to hang with them, but I wanted to give the couple some time to their selves. I was loading up the last of my bags when a beat up Dodge pulled into the parking lot and Dean climbed out. As soon as I saw him my heart began to race a little. I was so damn confused. Memories and emotions were mixing together to the point I was having trouble seeing up from down. I acted like I hadn't noticed Dean and continued to pack my trunk when I herd his footsteps head my way.<p>

"Hey, how you feeling this morning?" Dean asked standing at my side. I closed my trunk and turned to him with a genuine warm smile.

"A little headache, nothing too bad. How are you?" I asked leaning on my trunk. Dean smiled and nodded a little.

"I am..." He sighed running a hand through his hair. "I am still trying to work out what's going on with Sam." He admitted leaning next to me.

"He got married. In Vegas." I said plainly. "Not much to figure out, happens a lot round here." I half teased. Dean rolled his eyes at me and shook his head.

"Not with Sammy. Not to Becky. Something is seriously wrong here." Dean said looking down.

"Dean, people... I don't know, they fall in love one day and it's forever. Only takes one moment to know you've found the right person." I said looking forward. I wasn't really thinking, I was just saying the first thing that came to mind. Dean turned to me, watching me closely. After a few seconds of feeling his gaze burn into me I turned to him confused. "What did I say now?" I sighed slightly.

"Nothing... I just, didn't know you thought like that." Dean admitted plainly.

"Meh." I said pushing myself off the trunk and shrugged my shoulders. "Well, as deep and meaningful as this conversation is threatening to become, I gotta shoot." I said pulling out my keys.

"Meh? Seriously?" Dean asked with a small chuckle.

"Yeah." I smirked as he stood up from the trunk too. He put his hands into his pockets and glanced at the floor again before looking straight into my eyes. My breath caught in my throat as his green jade like eyes stared right into my soul. I was speechless, hell my mind wasn't working at all. For a split seconds my mind went back to our wedding day to the marriage. The happiness, the joy we had. The love we had.

"I um, wanted to talk about last night too..." Dean said breaking me away from the memory. I blinked shaking my head a little.

"Oh um, I don't think we really-" I started to say when Dean took a step closer to me. He was practically touching me it was so close. My heart jumped to my throat as half of me prayed he would just kiss me again. Wrap me up in his strong arms, carry me back to my room and -

"We do. We kissed." Dean said plainly. His eyes locked on mine. I rubbed the back of my neck and gave a nervous laugh.

"Kinda hoped you forgot about that.." I admitted feeling my cheeks burn a little.

"Well," Dean chuckled, a rich warm laugh that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. "Honey, there is no way I could forget a kiss like that." He admitted with a cheeky school boy grin.

"I, I, I am so, so sorry. I, I, I, really don't know what... I-" I stumbled over my words as I watched Dean loose his smile a little. Dean lent in closer, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I swear he must have herd the pounding of my heart, it was almost deafening.

"What did you remember?" He asked curiously, looking me dead in my eyes. God I wanted to kiss the man so badly.

"Our wedding." I said and Dean nodded with a warm smile.

"It was a perfect day." He said then took a deep breath. He stood up straight and his smile shrunk a little. "So, I'm heading to Delaware to see if I can get Sammy to talk to me. Figure out what's going on with him and Becky..." Dean said taking a step back from me. I nodded loosing the warm feeling I had inside.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." I said trying to act professionally. "But he could just be in love." I added softly.

"That's what I'm scared about." Dean half chuckled as I frowned at him a little. "Where you heading to?" He asked pulling his own car keys out of his pocket.

"I... dunno. Thought I'd hit the road. See if I can't find a hunt somewhere..." I shrugged a little. Dean didn't need to know. No one needed to know where I was heading.

"Try not to get into too much trouble." Dean teased, that damn sexy school boy grin appearing on his face again.

"I'm sorry, I think you're confusing me with you again." I joked a warm smile crossing my lips.

"Ha! Yeah right!" Dean chuckled.

"You know it Winchester." I laughed as I walked to the drivers side of my car.

"Whatever O'Connor! Just, call me if you find a hunt." Dean said as I climbed in my car.

"Sure, if you find something, and need a hand... call me." I said before starting my car and pulling out of the lot.

* * *

><p>I drove half the damn day, heading no where in general, just enjoying being alone with myself. No guys interrupting me, making us pull over randomly so they can pee, no bad music. Just me. Alone. Happy.<p>

"Happy." I sighed as I caught sight of my own reflection in the rear view mirror. I was anything but happy. I was trying to track someone down, someone who could help me remember who I was. I needed to remember now more than ever. I was getting dangerously close to Dean. Hell I wanted to just forget about getting the help and just... just be with him. But it wouldn't be right. I just wasn't the person I once was. I needed to be her again. The strong, independent, smart arse everyone told me about. When Becky told me about well myself, she made me sound amazing. Some kick arse hunter who took no shit from no one. Looking at my own reflection I felt anything but that person. But she did help me, give me an idea on how to fix it all. I had the money now. I just needed to track someone down. Someone who could help. Suddenly my phone rang and I pulled over into a small ditch to answer it.

"O'Connor." I said climbing out my baby and stretching my legs a little.

"_Megan, it's Sam._" Sam sounded stressed out and I knew exactly why.

"What's he done?" I asked leaning on the side of my Camero.

"_He came here, said he wanted to make things right... But, but then he just turned. He was awful to Becky. I know he can be an insensitive bastard at times, but Megan,_" Sam sighed softly. "_He's hurt Becky's feelings. He was horrible to her and she's.. She's putting on a brave face, but..._" Sam almost growled a little. I ran a hand through my hair and pushed myself off the car.

"Dean," I started as I paced around my car. "I don't think he can understand you moving on with your life. He's used to it being a set way, you know?" I asked softly.

"_But things have changed. I'm married and happy! I just, I can't believe he can't be happy for us! Just because he couldn't make it work- Oh god. I'm sorry Megan, I, I didn't mean_-" Sam started to say panicking slightly.

"Old news Sam." I sighed softly. "What did he say?" I asked feeling hollow inside.

"_He, he thinks Becky is part of a group of people. He thinks there is a case in town. People getting their wish...But he doesn't see. I love Becky._" Sam sighed. I nodded slowly realising what I was about to do would yet again put my hopes of getting my old self back on the back burner.

"So, you're all still in Delaware?"I asked walking to the car door.

"_Yeah, why? What are you planning to do?_" Sam asked sighing again.

"Talk to Dean. Smack him upside the head for you." I replied and herd Sam stifle a laugh. "I'll make him understand. Ok?" I said softly.

"_Thank you Megan. From me and Becky._" Sam said and I knew if I was there, he'd be giving me the damn puppy dog eyes. "_Were you heading to a job?"_ Sam asked.

"Nothing important." I sighed before starting up my baby and turning her around to hear to Delaware.

* * *

><p>I pulled into Delaware in under three hours, which I thought wasn't that bad. I pulled into the motel, booked a room and decamped all my things. I grabbed my phone and called Dean's mobile. I paced the room waiting for him to pick up.<p>

"_This is Dean's other, other phone, you know what to do._" The machine kicked in with a beep and I sighed.

"Hey, so call me." I said and hung up. I scrolled down a few more numbers until I found Bobby's and decided to call him in case Dean checked in with him.

"_Singer_." Bobby said picking up.

"Bobby, hey, have you herd from Dean, or Sam?" I asked softly, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"_Sure. Dean called bitching about Sam getting married to Becky?_" Bobby asked confused.

"You too?" I sighed. "Seriously what is wrong with this girl that makes everyone so..." I sighed again.

"_Listen girl, she ain't the type of girl Sam goes for. She is more like a stalker. Like seriously his number one fan! The girl scary as hell with her obsession! Something must be going on_." Bobby said knowingly.

"Fine. So, where is Dean? I've called him, but he didn't pick up." I said realising that maybe Becky wasn't the perfect fit for Sam after all. Dean bitching, I could put it down to some brother thing, but Bobby. I trusted that man with anything, he say Becky isn't on the level, I was ready to kill her on his word.

"_I sent Garth over to him, give him a hand while he looked into everything in Delaware. Apparently our newly weds aren't the first odd thing to happen there._" Bobby explained.

"Garth? Garth, call the FBI Garth and he calls your other FBI line, Garth?" I asked slightly confused.

"_Yeah that'll be the Garth I mean._" Bobby sighed.

"Why? The guys a moron." I asked shaking my head.

"_He's all I had. Last I herd, you needed some space from the Winchesters._" Bobby explained and I sighed, groaning slightly as Bobby threw it all back in my face. "_That is still the case, right girl?"_ He asked knowing full well I had been with the guys.

"Seriously?" I groaned standing up. "Just..." I sighed out.

"_Thought as much_." Bobby said and I could almost hear the smirk in his voice. "_So they might be checking out a lead, something about a Mutual Freedom Insurance... you should be able to catch up with them there._"

"Alright, thanks Bobby." I said rolling my neck on my shoulders. "How's the nest going?" I asked softly.

"_Just mopping up now. Take care girl._" Bobby replied.

"You too." I said hanging up and groaning as I realised I had to work the case.

* * *

><p>I changed into some more professional looking clothes and made my way over to the Insurance place. I pulled into the parking lot as Sam and Becky walked out. Sam noticed me and the pair walked over to me.<p>

"Hey Megan!" Becky said cheerily.

"Hey... what's," I asked as Sam wrapped his arm around Becky's waist. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked plainly.

"We're working a case." Sam informed me with a nod.

"Interesting honeymoon guys." I half joked.

"People are being killed. We have to do something." Becky said glancing at Sam as he gave her an approving warm smile.

"Oh no, I'm not... I herd um, Dean, is-" I started to say when Becky glared at the mention of his name.

"He's up there with some temp." Sam said nodding to the building behind.

"Oh... awesome." I muttered.

"Are you working the case too?" Becky asked looking confused.

"Yeah...um... Bobby called. So I thought, check it out, drop in on you guys... two birds, one stone." I nodded a little.

"Well that guy's not going to give you much. He didn't even want the job." Sam said softly.

"Ok... Well. I um I'm sure you guys have, a lead to fallow, or something. So I'm, um I'm gonna go check in with Dean and... probably bump into you guys again huh?" I asked with a warm smile.

"Well, ok. But if you need any help, just call." Becky said with a wide smile before getting into a car. I turned to Sam as he watched Becky.

"Dude, do you really want her hunting? You know how dangerous this job is." I said softly.

"I know." Sam said turning to me. "It's just this one case. Plus she's got me to keep her safe. Look, Dean seems..."

"I can handle Dean. Go look after your wife." I said patting Sam on the shoulder before walking into the building. I found the office of the CEO and as I reached it Dean and a skinny guy, who I could only guess was Garth, walked out looking troubled. "Well that face is never a good sign." I joked as the pair noticed me stood there. Garth gave me a smile that actually creped me out a little as Dean shook his head as the pair reached me.

"Megan what-" Dean started to ask as Garth cut in.

"Garth, nice to meet you." Garth said holding a hand out. I nodded with a small smile.

"Hey Garth." I said turning to Dean. "So the CEO a bust?" I asked.

"You're working the case too?" Garth asked before Dean could.

"Dude, really?" Dean asked looking annoyed at Garth. Garth held his hands up in surrender.

"Bobby called... so maybe, I was wrong about Becky..." I said looking at Dean. "I'm pretty caught up."

"How?" Dean asked looking at me.

"Sam, bumped into him on the way in. So you guys trying out new partners huh?" I asked looking at Garth.

"Something like that... come on we need to find his wife." Dean said as we walked downstairs.

* * *

><p>On the staircase we found Mrs Burrows, the wife of the newly made CEO. Apparently she was the next target and we needed to find out how she got her hubby promoted so quickly.<p>

"Mrs. Burrows? Hi." Dean said stopping this woman in white with long brown hair.

"Can I help you?" She asked looking at us like we were something she peeled off her shoe.

"Yes, we're, uh, we're doing a story on your husband's promotion. Wanted to ask you a few questions." Dean said, and as soon as she herd that a wide smile crossed her lips.

"I'm sorry. I can't today. If you schedule it with his girl..." Mrs Burrows said and went to leave when Dean put a hand on her shoulder to stop her.  
>"Okay, you know what? I'm trying to save you from a really bad accident." Dean said firmly.<p>

"Are you threatening me?" Mrs Burrows asked shocked.

"No." Dean said removing his hand from her shoulder. "No, I-I-I'm pointing out a pattern. Why do people keep thinking I'm threatening them?" Dean asked looking confused.

"Because it sounded exactly like a threat, dude." Garth said being about as helpful as a chocolate tea pot. I rolled my eyes and looked at Mrs Burrows.

"Mrs Burrows, this is important, what did you do to get your husband promoted?" I asked plainly. She looked at all three of us and shook her head.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now leave me alone. Or do I have to call security?" She answered, looking at Dean more than any of us. She walked off in a huff.

"You know she's lying, right?" Garth pointed out. Both me and Dean shared a dead pan look before turning to Garth.

"Gee Garth, that's some hunters instinct you got there..." I said dryly shaking my head.

"I know." Garth said, taking it as a compliment before walking down the stairs in front of us.

"Is he for real?" I chuckled shaking my head.

"Unfortunately. I think Bobby hates me." Dean sighed. I rubbed his shoulder and we fallowed Garth before he could get himself in any more trouble. Mrs Burrows was stood in the middle of the lobby she looked shaken up from our little conversation. Suddenly the light fitting above her was falling. Dean raced to push her out of the way. I looked up, but couldn't see anyone, there was just a bunch of people watching in shock.

"Dean!" I yelled as the light fitting smashed in front of me and Garth. Garth pulled me back a few steps. I spotted Dean the other side of the room, holding onto Mrs Burrows.

"Come on!" Garth said grabbing my wrist and pulling me over to the pair.

"You okay?" Dean asked sitting up.

"How did you know?" Mrs Burrows replied as we reached them.

"'Cause you're not the first. Come on." Dean said helping her stand up. I looked over at Dean and gave him a small smile after seeing he was ok.

"You want to tell us what's up here?" Garth asked as we stood out of the way slightly.

"I was having lunch with friends. This guy heard me bitching. Next thing I know, he's making me an offer." Mrs Burrows explained.

"An offer?" I asked confused.

"Craig's job for my soul. I know. Hilarious. I mean, what have I got to lose?" Mrs Burrows asked as if it was a joke or something.

"Well, there's your soul." Garth said plainly and turned to us. "What kind of demon deal is this? Time-line's whack." He said confused.

"What are you talking about? Demon?" Mrs Burrows asked confused too.

"Let me back up here. You made a deal with a demon in exchange for your everlasting. Except those are 10-year contracts. Whys the bill coming due so fast?" Garth asked glancing at us.

"New contracts? I mean, if Crowley's the new king... maybe he's changing things?" I asked turning to Dean.

"I don't know, but I got a bad feeling about who's next. We got to find Sam, pronto." Dean said firmly. I nodded in agreement.

"All right, all right, all right. Uh, here's the plan. I drop this lady at my cousin's. He'll stop anything trying to get her. We, uh, find Sam, hopefully fix this, everybody's home in time for _America's Got Talent_." Garth explained and turned to Mrs Burrows. "Now, you - you'll be living with a tri-racial paraplegic sniper until this all blows over, okay?"

* * *

><p>So Garth got Mrs Burrows somewhere safe, we all got changed and met back up at Becky's apartment. Dean picked the lock and we went in, guns drawn just in case. Garth pushed past us both 'clearing' the place. If there really was any bad guys, he would have been killed, but there wasn't. I wasn't too sure if I was happy or sad about that.<p>

"Well.. that's um..." I said walking over to a picture of Sam and Becky on their wedding day. Dean stood right behind me and grunted. I turned and we were literally inches apart.

"So what made you change your mind on Becky?" Dean asked looking down at me.

"Bobby. He explained what she was like." I nodded side stepping Dean as I looked around their kitchen. Dean grunted again and flicked through the mail.

"Anything?" Dean shouted to Garth as we walked over to him. He was looking at her laptop.  
>"Uh, she's got 11 Twitter...ers. Last post -<em>Going on romantic trip with hubster!<em> Three exclamation points. I guess she got excited." Garth said turning to us.

"Awesome...now I have some nasty arse imagines in my mind..." I said pinching the bridge of my nose. Dean picked up a picture of Becky and showed us it. It was her as a child stood outside a cabin with a fishing rod and a fish.

"That look romantic to you?" Dean asked us.

"Oh, hell, no. But I got this thing about fish. Dead eyes, man." Garth replied and I shook my head looking away from them.

"_Becky's 1__st__ fish! Loon Lake family cabin 1994. _Huh." Dean said as he read.

"Loon lake... sounds fitting..." I sighed as Dean looked over to me.

* * *

><p>Needless to say we found Sam, tied up in Becky's bed at the cabin. Becky tried to explain how she didn't know Guy, her <em>friend<em> was in fact a demon. A crossroads demon at that. She explained the deal he offered her and then we made a plan.

"You're making the right choice." Guy said as we stood just out of sight. The crossroads demon was definitely a smooth talker.

"I know. So... we seal the deal with a kiss?" Becky asked softly, she was scared, it was easy to tell but she was handling it quiet well.

"Exactly. Pucker up, sweetheart." Guy replied and then we herd the sound of fire. It was our queue.

"I'm not your sweetheart!" Becky cried out as we walked out of the other room. Guy was trapped in a devils trap. Garth was holding a bottle of vodka.

"Blueberry vodka. The answer to all of life's problems." Garth said tossing the bottle between his hands. Becky ran over to Sam like an excited puppy.

"You see that, Sam? I did it just like we said! I am awesome! I-" Becky said excited as Sam turned to her with a stone face. I couldn't help but feel a little bad as I saw her quickly deflate. "I'll be over here." She said walking into the other room.

"Dean Winchester. This is really thrilling. Hey, can I have your autograph?" Guy asked with a smirk. Dean smirked to Guy pulling out a knife.

"Sure. Yeah, I'll, uh, carve it into your spleen. So, how you running your little scam?" Dean asked firmly.

"Well, how do you mean, Dean?" Guy asked innocently.

"Signing 10-year deals, snuffing 'em that week." Sam clarified.

"Well, I would never. No. Rules of the road- can't lay a hair on any of my clients." Guy said defending himself.

"Right. So how you cheating it?" I asked plainly.

"I'm not a cheater. I'm an innovator. It's called a loophole, you moron. Yes, when a person bargains away his soul, he gets a decade, technically. But accidents happen." Guy explained looking at all of us.

"So you're arranging _accidents_ and collecting early?" Sam asked plainly.

"Oh, please. White gloves. I don't get my hands dirty. That's why it's important to have a capable intern." Guy smirked as a man appeared behind Garth. He raised his hands and set us all flying into walls and tables and god knows what else.

"What time did I ask you to be here? What time did I ask you to be here?" Guy demanded as his intern broke the devils trap. My world was spinning and the familiar cry of every muscle screaming in my body wasn't helping. Sam looked out of it, Garth didn't seem much better. I glanced to Dean and he was looking where the knife had landed. He pulled himself up onto his feet as Guy appeared in front of him. Dean threw some holy water on Guy making him recoil.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis-" Dean started to chant when Guy grabbed him by the throat. I forced myself onto my feet, wobbling a little. As Sam woke up and Guy's intern started to move towards him.

"Becky...run!" Sam yelled, making Becky run off. Garth started to get to his knee's when the intern waved his hand making Garth knock into the table, knocking him out again.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus omnis satanica potestas-" I started to chant softly. I felt my air being cut off and Guy's intern had a hand held out towards me, choking me out.

"No!" Dean choked out as Guy's intern started to choke Sam out as well. I fell to my knee's holding my throat as I gasped for air. Suddenly a knife appeared in the interns chest. He fell to the floor and Beck was stood there in shock. I was coughing as the air burnt my throat.

"Whoa." Becky said with a wide grin as Sam pulled the knife out and tossed it to Dean before helping me to my feet. Dean held the blade at Guy's throat and he let Dean go.

"How many deals you got cooking in this town, Madoff?" Dean asked moving Guy back a few steps.

"Fifteen." Guy replied.

"Yeah, well, call them off, or I'll cut my own loophole in your throat." Dean said firmly.

"Oh, crap." Guy cried out.

"Yeah, you said it. You're in a world-" Dean said when a voice cut him off.

"Hello, boys." Crowley said, appearing in the room. Dean glanced behind him.

"Oh, crap." Dean echoed Guy, before turning behind him, still holding the knife to his throat.

"Megan, you're looking well." Crowley said to me and I just glared at him, he shrugged moving onto Sam. "Sam, mazel tov. Who's the lucky lady?" Crowley asked looking at Becky.

"You're Crowley!" Becky said excited.

"And you're - well, I'm sure you have a wonderful personality, dear." Crowley said dryly.

"Ah, another step, and I'll Colombian neck tie your little friend here." Dean said as Crowley went to take a step forward.

"Please, don't let him get off that easy." Crowley replied and I glanced at the guys who looked just as confused as me.

"Sir, I don't think that you-" Guy tried to explain.

"I know exactly what you've been doing. A little birdie named Jackson," Crowley explained as Guy glanced at the intern on the floor. "Sold you out, e-mailed all the juicy deets to my suggestion box." Crowley said fallowing Guy's eye line. "I assume... That's my whistle-blower? Shame. Had a future. Unfortunately, you don't." Crowley said looking back at Guy.

"I was just-" Guy tried to explain but Crowley cut him off.

"There's only one rule - make a deal, keep it." Crowley barked.

"Well, technically, I didn't-" Guy argued.

"There's a reason we don't call our chits in early- consumer confidence. This isn't Wall Street! This is Hell! We have a little something called integrity. This gets out, who'll deal with us? Nobody! Then where are we?" Crowley boomed at Guy.

"I don't know." Guy muttered.

"That's right. You don't. Because you're a stupid, short-sighted little prat. Now, hand the jackass over. I'll cancel every deal he's made." Crowley said looking to Dean.

"What are you gonna do with him?" Dean asked still holding the knife to Guy's throat.

"Make an example of him. Fair trade, right? We all go our separate ways. No harm done." Crowley said with a quick smile to all of us.

"What, out of the goodness of your heart?" Sam scoffed.

"Years of demons nipping at your heels, haven't seen one for months. Wonder why?" Crowley asked.

"We've been a little busy." Dean replied.

"Hunting Leviathan - yes, I know. That's why I told my lads to stay clear of you meat heads." Crowley explained.

"So, what do you know about-" I started to ask when he cut me off.

"Too much. You met that dick yet? Smuggest tub of goo since Mussolini. I hate the bastards. Squash 'em all, please. I'll stay clear." Crowley said holding up his hands.

"Rip up the contracts first." Dean said firmly. Crowley snapped his fingers.

"Done... and done. Your turn." Crowley said looking at Guy.

"No, no, no, no. Let -" Guy tried to plead but Dean shoved Guy towards Crowley.

"Pleasure, ladies and gentlemen." Crowley said before disappearing with Guy.

"What'd I miss?" Garth asked from behind us.

* * *

><p>We thankfully managed to sort everything out. All the contracts were broken and no one else had died. Sam managed to get annulment papers and we took them to Becky to sign them. Sam and her sat opposite each other at Becky's table as they signed them. I was stood with Dean and Garth watching them. Sam finished signing the papers and slid them across the table to Becky.<p>

"It... it wasn't all bad, right?" Becky asked hopefully and I genuinely felt bad for her. It was clear she really, _really_, liked Sam. But she was kinda like a stalker, I had to admit. Sam sat there with a stone face.

"Okay, y-you did save my life, and for that, thanks." Sam sighed out. Becky had a sheepish smile on her face.

"So, I'll see you again?" Becky asked hopeful.

"Yeah, probably not." Sam sighed still with a stone face. Becky lost her smile and sighed the papers. I glanced to Dean and he just shook his head slowly. Sam sighed shaking his head a little.

"Becky, look. You're not a loser, okay? You're a good person, a-and you've got... a lot of... e-energy. So, you know, just do your thing, whatever that is, and the right guy will find you." Sam said trying to make her feel slightly better. I nudged Dean and he looked at me confused. I nodded to Garth who was sleeking down his hair and smiling at Becky. Becky saw and smiled back at Garth.

"No. No." Dean said shaking his head at Garth, who lost his smile. The guys walked out and I was right behind them.

"Megan, can, can we talk?" Becky asked grabbing my arm. They guys had already gone. I nodded turning to face her.

"I'm sorry about Sam, Becky." I said softly.

"Thanks, I guess I should have known it wouldn't last, drugging someone isn't always the best way to make them fall in love with you. I've learnt that now." Becky said sadly. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about." Becky added.

"Oh, um what's, is everything ok?" I asked confused. Becky nodded going to her counter and pulling a piece of paper out of her draw.

"Yeah, look, I know we were only like family a couple of days," Becky said passing me the piece of paper. "But I feel like, like you were a sister to me."

"Becky, um.." I said flipping the paper open and seeing an address of a motel and a time. "What is this?" I asked confused.

"It's just, be there and you can find answers for who you are. I set it up for you." Becky said with a small smile. "I just hope it works."

"Becky, I, you. Thank you. Really, you didn't need to do this." I said as she suddenly hugged me.

"What's family for?" She said smiling as we pulled apart.

"Yeah, yeah." I said nodding a little. "Thank you, for all your help."

"Good luck, let me know how it goes." Becky said smiling at me. I nodded and walked out of the apartment.

* * *

><p>I got down to the cars as Garth drove away. Dean was waving to him as he and Sam were lent on the Dodge.<p>

"Take care." Dean yelled and turned to Sam. "Wow."

"Aww, you made a fwiend." Sam teased him as I walked over.

"Uh-uh." Dean said raising an eye brow.

"Hey guys." I said with a small wave.

"Hey." They said in unison. I smirked to myself, it had been ages since I herd them do that and it always made me smile.

"You wanna grab a beer?" Dean asked me as the pair looked at me. I glanced at my watch, I had a nine hour drive ahead of me and I was going to have to push it to make the appointment Becky had set up for me.

"I, I can't. Sorry." I said looking back up at the guys.

"Oh, um no worries." Dean said clearing his throat.

"So, where you heading to in a hurry?" Sam asked pushing himself off the dodge.

"Just around." I shrugged. "Congratulations on the annulment." I smirked as I hugged Sam. His massive arms wrapped around me.

"Thanks, and thanks for sticking up for me." Sam said as he stood back.

"Hey, it's what I do. I wasn't really sticking up for you though, just making sure you were ok." I nodded.

"Well, thanks anyway. Stay safe." Sam said and turned to Dean. "I... I'm just going to make myself busy... over there." Sam said pointing to the front of the car.

"Subtle." I smirked as Dean shook his head.

"As a brick." Dean laughed looking over at me. "So you wanna tell me where your heading?"

"Not really. You just might not hear from me for a while. Don't worry." I said looking at Dean.

"Not hear from you, why?" Dean asked pushing himself off the car.

"Honestly?" I asked as he walked over to me.

"Well yeah." Dean smirked with the damn school boy grin.

"I," I sighed. "I'm going to try and figure out who I was, before." I admitted looking up at Dean.

"How?" Dean asked confused, he placed his hands on my arms. "You're not going to have more headaches are you?" He asked worried.

"No, just travel round places. See if anything clicks." I lied with a half a smile. "Don't worry, if it doesn't work I'll call and we can go kill something. I'm sure I'll be frustrated enough." I smirked up at Dean. He rolled his eyes and he pulled me closed to him.

"Yeah well, just don't do something I would do." Dean said holding me close.

"Please, like I'm that stupid." I teased as we pulled apart. Dean was still holding me close.

"Just, send me a text now and again. Let me know your not leviathan chowder." Dean said seriously.

"Promise." I said with a smirk before pulling out of his arms and walking to my car. "Bye guys!" I yelled revving my baby and pulling out of the side street.

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><p>Hope you guys enjoyed it and I really hope you enjoy the next chapter! Please, take a few more seconds to review? Please?<p> 


	12. Put Me Back Together Part 1

Right, welll damn! Didn't you all just seem to love my little coming soon chapter! Haha! Really didn't expect such a great responce! Yeah, I know I've updated like three times this week, but this is my last update for a week or so, so enjoy it!  
>Big Shout out to; Synyster.A7X, Deanykins80, geminixoxo, klandergraff2007, Asya55 and xxjempa1112luvSPNxx for the awesome reviews over the last couple of chapters! Thank you guys so much! You've really helped me write this faster!<br>I just wanted to say, this is my big story bit. I mean I had this idea before I finished season 6! I just really, REALLY, want you all to spend, two seconds to review! PLEASE REVIEW! I am dying to know what you all think! PLEASE!

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><p>"Come on, come on, come on!" Dean cried out as he ran into the room. They were all stood around the hospital bed. Tears rolled down from Sam's eyes, even if he had control, he would have let them fall in that moment. Bobby stood at the back of the room, his mouth a little open, the shock clear on his face. None of them were prepared for this to happen. None of them wanted this to happen. Dean cried out again, the raw pain, guilt seeping over every plea. "Come on, come on Megan! Don't, don't do this! Please, god don't do this!" He cried out as the machines horrid single string of noise bleared out. The doctors rushed in and in a motion of blur they used the defibrillator on her body. Lifeless it jumped into the air and landed back onto the bed, still and just as lifeless.<p>

"Please girl..." Bobby's own plea barely above a whisper. Bobby had seen death, literally, and he'd always faced it head on. But in that moment. Seeing her body, just laying there, knowing, knowing deep down there was nothing they could do to help. Bobby did the one thing he hadn't done in a long time. He prayed. He prayed for her life.

"No, no, no!" Dean cried out, the tears streaming down his face as Sam held him back. Sam couldn't believe his eyes. It just wasn't registering with him. The shock was too much. All of them were seasoned hunters, they'd practically seen hell, in two cases they actually had. They had face demons, gods, angels and even a devil, but nothing. Nothing had prepared them for that moment. The doctors work on her for a few more minutes before the lead doctor turned to his junior. The expression was easy to read. This was it.

"Time of death-" The doctor announced and all that could be herd his Dean's cry of pain.

"NO!" The word is so simple, yet filled with so much raw pain. So much love, so much loss. It choked Sam to see his strong big brother, break down in his arms. Dean just fell to the floor, his eyes locked on the lifeless body. Even after seeing his parents die, his baby brother, and countless friends, this one. This one was different. Dean felt like he couldn't breathe the pain was so raw, so fresh. His mind went blank, and eerie calm amongst the storm of the situation. His eyes wouldn't blink, the imagine of her body, laid there, burnt into his mind. This was one of those imagines no amount of alcohol would take away, no matter how many days he lived. And he would try.

"God... you took the wrong one." Bobby muttered as the tears roll off his face. Dean on the floor, rocked back and forth slightly as he just looked at her body. He felt so helpless. So weak. Sam wasn't fairing much better, his legs felt like they were going to give way any moment, and he couldn't tear his eyes off her lifeless body. He knew how wrong this whole situation was. He knew he should have figured it out soon, he should have known faster. Then... then she would be alive.

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><p>Three days earlier...<p>

Dean was sat in the dinner finishing the last of his oh so yummy apple pie. He'd been looking forward to the apple pie all day and now he had it sat in front of him. And it had been everything it that was promised. It was, in fact, one of the best apple pies Dean had ever eaten, and considering who we're talking about, that was some statement. Dean stuck his folk in and brought yet another mouth watering slice to his mouth, a low, throaty growl of pleasure escaped as he put the small piece of heaven into his mouth. He closed his eyes enjoying the taste, savouring it and letting it all melt in his mouth. He earned the damn pie, and man was he going to enjoy it.

"Good pie?" Sam chuckled as he sat down opposite his big brother. Lately ever since they had cleared the air, their relationship had gotten better. Sure Sam was still crazy, and Dean was still surly, but they were getting back to the way the used to be. The way they would joke and tease, argue and laugh. Things were better; and Sam for one, was glad about it. He was happy to finally have some kind of normality back in his life. Even if that normality insisted on calling him Bitch, and always played the worst of mullet rock. Dean opened one eye and saw Sam's smirk.

"This... this is heaven." Dean said pointing to the plate, his mouth half food of pie still. Sam let out a chuckle looking away before turning back to see Dean take another folk full of the _heaven_.

"It's the simple things huh?" Sam chuckled as Dean sighed in pleasure as he ate the pie. Sam often wondered if Dean would be most happy with just an endless supply of perfect apple pies. Sam shook his head again as Dean smiled at his baby brother.

"So, what's the plan?" Dean asked as he finished off his pie. The warm fuzzy feeling resting nicely in his stomach. Sam pulled a map out of his bag and put it on the table so Dean could see it.

"Well, actually it's pretty quiet. There hasn't been any freak accidents, or missing people cases for a while now. Looks like we have some time to ourselves." Sam said looking up at his brother. A small frown had crossed Dean's face as he thought about having time for their selves. It wasn't that Dean wouldn't be thankful for a day or two off, no, in fact a couple days of good sleep and trash TV sounded like heaven to him. It was more the fact nothing was happening. Dean never liked it when it was quiet, his hunter instincts always told him something was wrong. And unfortunately they were usually right.

"Well, have we checked in with Bobby and Megan? Maybe they've herd something we haven't?" Dean asked clearing his throat. Sam nodded understanding without words the worry his brother had about the lack of hunts. Sam was far from stupid, in fact, before he brought the news to Dean he had checked it several times, just in case.

"I'll call Bobby when we get back to the house. Thought you might want to call Megan." Sam said with a small sly smile as he tucked the map back into his back pack. Dean raised an eye brow knowing there was a reason for Sam's comment.

"I can call Bobby." Dean said firmly as his baby brother sat there with that damn annoying grin on his face. Dean knew Sam wanted to say something about his relationship with Megan. He'd wanted to say something ever since she came back to life. "Just say it." Dean sighed, cracking under the pressure of that damn grin.

"Nothing. I just think it's nice..." Sam said as he paid and the pair stood up to leave. Sam pulled on his jacket and grabbed his bag knowing full well Dean was stood there almost glaring at him. He hid the smile as they walked out of the dinner and he finished his sentence. "Nice that you guys are talking more." Sam smirked to his brother. Dean let out a low sigh, he had been waiting for this since the moment he had told Sam about Megan kissing him back in Vegas. Dean knew there was something different in that kiss, something more meaningful than the concussion kiss they shared. The look in her eyes, the love in them, he'd known that look a life time ago, and seeing her, feeling her kiss him like that gave him the spark that the memories, the feelings were still there between them. Of course, Dean being Dean, hadn't explained it to Sam in such a chick flick, let's get in touch with our inner emotions crap, way. He had simply told Sam they had kissed and it was just like they used to be.

"Uh huh?" Dean asked unlocking the crappy Dodge as the pair climbed it. Dean felt like he was cheating on The Black Beauty driving around in the piece of crap dodge. Sure it was necessary, being America's Most Wanted had taught Dean that the hard way. But still, he couldn't help but miss his baby.

"I'm just saying I'm happy for you man." Sam smirked as Dean started the car and they took the short ride to the abandoned house they were staying in. Yet again thanks to the leviathans.

"Well just shut up, ok?" Dean asked glancing at his baby brother. Sam chuckled again looking out the passenger side window. He knew long before Dean, that his big brother had fallen in love. Real love, like the kind he shared with Jess. He knew the moment he saw the pair arguing. Their was a look, a fleeting one in the beginning that showed how Dean really felt about Megan. It was one he watched grow and grow. The look of love is unmistakable, and Sam was happy when he learnt the couple had gotten together. He knew Megan was a good force in both their lives, but he knew, she also made Dean realise important things. Realise how much Dean could have. Sure their relationship wasn't easy, with the surname Winchester, nothing was ever going to be easy, but they worked and worked on it. They had reached a stage where Sam thought they would quit hunting and live long, happy lives. Of course that hadn't happened... The frown on Sam's face reflected the frustration he felt inside. They were both back hunting partly because of him. He'd talked to Megan about it in the past and she promised him she was fine with it, but Sam wasn't fine. Not by a long shot. But never the less, Dean knew his feelings for Megan, knew he loved her. So they tried again, and they were happy, again. Until Cass showed, and her soul was sent to purgatory. Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he thought about what she must have gone through. Hell wasn't close. But she was tough, small, but still tough. When she was brought back to life, Sam worried maybe she'd break down, the memories consuming her. But thankfully, in a weird way, she had no memory. Nothing. No memory of either Winchester. Sam knew how much it ate Dean up inside knowing she didn't love him any more. But over the last couple of months, as Megan seemed to remember herself, Sam had noticed that look. He was hoping the pair would finally just get back together.

* * *

><p>Twenty minutes later and the pair had pulled into the house they were staying in. The house was actually pretty nice considering, they had warmth, limited electricity and the best of all, it didn't smell. Dean walked into the living room where they were camped out and sat on the couch letting out a small sigh.<p>

"So, I'm gonna ring Bobby." Sam said walking into the kitchen as he pulled out his cell. Dean nodded knowing that Sam had given him _space_ to call Megan. Dean shook his head as he smirked, the kid was as subtle as a brick sometimes. He was convinced that Sam thought they were going to get back together. Sure Dean would love that, he would never deny it. But he wasn't stupid, he knew how much remembering was killing Megan, how much pain she was in. He never wanted to course her pain, ever. He was happy just talking to her now and again. Dean sat back on the couch and pulled out his phone. He scrolled down the messages and saw the last text Megan had sent. A warm smile crossed his lips as he saw her name.

_So, who knew, back roads can be dull as hell without Ur duck face! Alive & well. M x._ Dean smiled at the message, then checked the date. He frowned as he realised the last message he got from Megan was over a month ago. Sure he was used to not hearing from her, or Sam or even Bobby for months on end, but something didn't sit right with him. He knew Megan well, knew she didn't like people to worry over her. He could hear Sam talking to Bobby in the kitchen and pulled himself off the couch. He walked to the door way and waved to get Sam's attention. Sam turned to him, a confused expression on his face.

"Ask Bobby if he's herd from Megan recently." Dean said softly to his baby Sasquash. Sam looked puzzled for a few seconds more then nodded. Sam hadn't herd from Megan in weeks, he realised.

"Hey Bobby, you herd from Meg?" Sam asked leaning on the kitchen counter. Sam started to ponder where she said she was when he last herd from her.

"_Umm... just a second. Um here, the last message I got was saying she was passing through Iowa, heading for Missouri_." Bobby replied thoughtfully. "_But that must have been a couple a weeks ago, at least.._."

"Bobby said he's not herd from her in a couple of weeks." Sam relayed the message to Dean, as he spoke something kicked him in the gut. By the look on his older brother, it was feeling that was going around. Dean nodded and walked out the back of the house.

* * *

><p>Thankfully the place had large fences so no nosey neighbours could see them house crashing. Dean pulled out his phone and scrolled through the numbers until he landed on Megan's name. He hesitating, debating with himself whether checking up on Megan was a good idea. He knew how offend she could get when she thought she was being baby sat, but then again, a month was a long time in the hunting world not to hear something. Dean hit dial and put the phone to his ear, hearing each passing ring, something in his gut got worse. Finally the phone clicked and their was a voice.<p>

"_Hello?_" The voice was a woman, but it wasn't Megan.

"Who is this?" Dean asked firmly, the feeling of trouble bubbled in his stomach.

"_Um, who's this?_" The voice asked softly. It wasn't a rude question, more a confused voice.

"Look lady, I asked first." Dean almost snapped at the voice. He needed to know where Megan was, he needed to know to feel better.

"_Are you a friend of Miss Braddock's?_" The woman asked and the name threw Dean for a few seconds. Then it hit him, Miss Betsy Braddock was one of Megan's alternative names. She'd told him it was the real name of some x-men character or something like that.

"Actually I'm her boyfriend." Dean responded without a second thought. If Megan was in jail or worse hurt, they would only really share that kind of information with close relatives.

"_Oh. I see. Do, do you know if she has any family over here?_" The voice asked. The uneasy feeling kicked in again. Dean didn't like the way the conversation was heading.

"No. She has no real family left. Where is she?" Dean asked leaning his back against a tree. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the troubled feeling that was running through his veins.

"_What's your name?_" The voice asked softly. Dean hated that soft tone. He instantly knew she was hurt. The nurses at the hospital used the same tone when they told him his mother was Dean. They used the same tone when they told him his father had passed on. That tone, it meant someone was hurt, bad.

"Dean." Dean said impatiently. Dean's mind sprang into action, thinking of all the horrible, worst ways Megan could have landed in hospital.

"_Dean, right._" The female voice said softly. "_Dean, my names Ruth, and I'm a nurse at Cripple Creek hospital, Colorado. Dean, your girlfriends here._" Her voice was so calm, so caring. Dean's heart began to race as the information settled in his brain.

"She's in hospital? Can I talk to her?" Dean asked, some of the worry slipping out over the words he spoke.

"_Dean, can you get to Cripple Creek?_" Ruth asked softly. Her voice was so damn calm was all that Dean could think.

"Yeah, yes. I'll... I'll set off now..." Dean said half in shock. If they wouldn't put Megan on the phone, Dean knew it was something pretty bad that happened. That she must have been in a bad way. Dean's world was spinning with the information.

"_Ok Dean, when you get here, ask for Ruth. I'm the only one_." Ruth instructed him before they hung up. Dean took a deep breath in, containing all the panic he felt walked back into the house.

* * *

><p>Dean walked into the kitchen and saw Sam stood there, waiting to hear if he had reached Megan. The look on Sam's face killed Dean. The worry in those big damn puppy dog green eyes. The sadness before he had even said one word. It added to the uneasy feeling in Dean's gut. Sam knew as soon as he saw Dean something had happened. He wasn't sure what, but he knew. The way Dean avoided looking into his eyes, the way he was playing with his ring finger, Sam knew it was bad.<p>

"We need to get to Cripple Creek, Colorado." Dean said plainly, not looking his brother in the eye. Dean knew if he did, he would break down. Loose it. That was the last thing he needed to do. He needed to get to the hospital. He needed to see Megan, and find out what happened to her.

"Why? What's happened?" Sam asked fallowing Dean back into the living room as the pair started to pack up their things. Dean didn't answer at first, he was so busy packing everything up. The delay in an answer told Sam that Megan was in trouble. He just hoped, prayed that she was alive.

"I don't know Sammy... I just... we need to get there asap." Dean explained with a sigh as he pulled his bag to him, zipping it up. Dean's mind was racing, racing with all the possibilities that could have landed her in the hospital.

"Sure, yeah, sure... you want me to call Bobby?" Sam asked as the pair finished packing up their things. The question fell on deaf ears as Dean climbed into the dodge and started her up. Sam sighed knowing the ride to Cripple Creek was going to be long and silent. He shoved the bags into the trunk of the car and raced to the passenger side. Dean pulled out of the drive and raced to the hospital. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the wheel tighter, as if, somehow that would make the car move faster. Dean's mind wasn't on the road, it was cooking up situations which could have landed Megan in the hospital. There was the obvious ones, a hunt gone wrong, some kind of attack by a creature. Then there was the one idea Dean really hoped wasn't true. The possibility that a leviathan had found her and attack her, leaving her alive to trap all three of them. Dean's knuckled actually hurt at the tightness of his grip on the wheel as he thought of that idea. It was most likely and Dean was kicking himself inside for letting her walk out on them. On him. He should have never let her go, he should have forced her to stay. There was always safety in numbers. Dean's thoughts rolled round and around in his head as he thought of the horrible ways Megan could have landed herself in the hospital, unable to pick up the damn phone.

Sam sat silently at the side of his big brother, watching his knuckles turn white and then whiter if that was even possible. The knot that had formed in his stomach was getting bigger at each passing minute. Sam thought of Megan as a baby sister. She was younger than him, by a couple of months, but she treated him like a baby brother. When they had first met, Sam would never admit it to Dean or Megan, but he was attracted to her. There was just something about her that drew him in. But as it became clear that his brother had caught her eye Sam was more than happy just being a brother to her. Sitting in the passenger side of the car Sam felt helpless. He needed to be doing something. Anything to help. He reached into his back pack and pulled out his laptop, setting it up on his knee's. He planned to search the small town of Cripple Creek, looking for any explanation as to what could have happened to his sister.

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><p>They drove straight through the night and most of the day to reach the hospital. The whole time Dean's mind raced over every possible way she could have ended up in the hospital. There was so many questions Dean had left. Most of them revolved around why she hadn't called sooner, asked for help. Megan had pride and could be as stubborn as hell, it was something Dean found sexy in her, but she wasn't stupid. When she was in too deep, she always asked for help- always. They pulled up outside the hospital and Sam glanced at his brother.<p>

"She's going to be ok." Sam said breaking the deafening silence that had filled the car nearly a day ago when they had climbed in. Dean turned to his baby brother, all his thoughts and emotions threatening to break past his tough guy shell.

"She better be." Dean said firmly as they climbed out of the car. The pair walked briskly up to the reception desk, where a small Asian woman sat, flicking through a copy of Vogue.

"We need to speak to Ruth." Dean said firmly as the woman looked up at the pair. She blinked a couple of times and then picked up a phone. She talked to the person on the other end and then hung up.

"She's on her way. Please, take a seat." The woman said gesturing to the chairs behind the pair. Sam glanced at his brother as the pair took a step back from the reception. The fact no one could just take them to see Megan, added to the knot in Sam's stomach and he was almost certain Dean was feeling the same way. Dean paced up and down waiting for the damn nurse to show. He couldn't understand what was taking her so long, he turned to his brother and let out a small growl when Sam sat up in his chair, looking behind Dean. The pair looked as a slender, red head walked towards the pair, she was wearing a nurse uniform and looked friendly enough. A caring smile crossing her lips as she reached them.

"Are you Dean?" Ruth asked as she walked over to the pair. Neither looked like they had slept in days and by the way the man standing in front of her looked, she doubted he would until he knew exactly what was going on.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam." Dean waved a hand towards Sam who got to his feet and stood next to him. "Where's Megan?" Dean asked firmly, his eyes locking on Ruth's. She nodded politely and then started to walk off, the guys were at her heels. As if they needed to be told to fallow her.

"Megan?" Ruth asked a little confused. She wasn't used to hearing the first name, although thinking about it. Ruth thought the name fit her well.

"Yeah, Miss Braddock." Dean said as they walked down an empty corridor.

"Oh we didn't have a first name for her. To be honest we don't really know much about her. Just that she is British and, well you'll see." Ruth said walking them round into a ward. It was an ICU ward but there was only one bed. She walked up to the bed and stopped turning to face the guys. But they weren't looking at her, they were looking at the still body in the bed.

"What, what happened?" Sam was the first to speak, to force words out of his mouth. Laying in the bed was Megan. She looked like she was just asleep. Peacefully asleep. Dean was staring at her, but Sam noticed his brothers hands turn to fists. Ruth hadn't seen she was too focused on answering Sam's question.

"We don't know. She was brought in about a month ago like this. She was found unconscious in her motel room. We ran toxicology reports, brain activity test's, viral screens, the works. Everything has come back as normal. It's like," Ruth sighed looking down before looking back up at Sam. "It's like she just sleeping..." Ruth shrugged.

"A month?" Dean choked out as he tear his gaze away from Megan.

"Yeah there about." Ruth replied with a nod.

"Why didn't anyone contact us?" Dean asked setting his jaw. He was angry, not at Ruth, not at the hospital, not at Megan. He was just mad for not being there for her.

"We... we didn't know about the phone until you rang. We only searched the belongings that came in with her. The other things were moved here after the motel room was processed. We didn't know... I'm sorry." Ruth apologised softly.

"Someone should have told us!" Dean growled walking off the ward. Sam gave Ruth a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry, they care a lot for each other." Sam said making an excuse for his brothers actions. Ruth nodded all too well how deep emotions could run in a hospital.

"I understand. It's fine really. I just wish... I wish I knew what to do... I've been watching her everyday now. I come down, talk to her during my breaks, after my shifts. She's a mystery, we only got her name because of what she told the motel..." Ruth sighed running a hand over her face. It was only then that Sam noticed the nurse looked as tired as he and Dean were.

"Are you ok?" Sam asked softly, Ruth let out a small chuckle and turned to the giant.

"Shouldn't I ask you that?" Ruth asked with a warm smile. Sam nodded a little and threw her his famous puppy dog eyes. She sighed again, rubbing her eyes. "I will be, when we find out what's wrong with your friend." Ruth said with a warm smile.

"Can I, do you mind if I look through her belongings?" Sam asked softly, pushing some hair out of his face. He needed answers and he knew the best way would be to check out Megan's things. He knew Dean wouldn't be able to do it, just not yet.

"Sure, I'll just fetch them." Ruth nodded walking to a small nurses station near by. Sam stood watching Megan, processing all the information. He knew he was missing something, he just didn't know what. "Here you go. Her car is parked around back with the rest of her bags." Ruth explained passing Sam Megan's back pack.

"Thank you." Sam said with a warm smile of his own. Ruth nodded looking over at Megan.

"You drink coffee?" She asked suddenly.

"Yeah...yes." Sam replied looking at Ruth, a wide smile crossing her lips.

"What about your brother?" She added, a genuinely caring smile on her face.

"I'm sure he'd love a cup right about now." Sam replied with a warm smile of his own.

"Great. I'll just go grab some." Ruth said with a quick nod before disappearing down the hall. A few seconds later Dean walked back on the ward towards Sam, his knuckle was bleeding. Sam knew Dean just needed to vent his pain and he would be able to keep working. He just knew his brother that well.

"That Megan's things?" Dean asked pointing to the bag in Sam's hands. Dean's tough guy act was in full swing, the stone cold stares, the monosyllabic words.

"Your hand." Sam said softly, pointing to the blood that was dripping on the floor.

"Is that Meg's things?" Dean asked again more firmly. His eyes burnt with a rage that scared Sam a little.

"Yes. Yeah... Ruth gave me them." Sam answered passing the bag to Dean. The pair sat either side of Megan's bed as Dean looked in the bag. He wasn't sure what he was looking for but he needed answers. He needed to know what the hell was happening to her.

"The nurse tell us anything useful?" Dean asked in a grunt as he flicked through a note pad in her bag.

"Just that all her belongings are here, she was found like that in a motel. Nothing else." Sam answered looking at Megan's lifeless body. "What do you think has happened to her?"

"I don't know, but I intend to find out." Dean snapped. Sam looked over at his brother but he was still reading her note pad. Sam sighed grabbing his phone and walking off the ward. He'd seen Dean like this before. Angry, snappy, determined. When his father died. He saw Dean get knocked off path by his fathers death. It really messed Dean up. Sam knew he couldn't cope with Dean alone, he needed help. He needed Bobby. So he decided to call him.

"_Singer?_" Bobby answered, he sounded like he'd just sat down.

"Bobby, we've found Megan." Sam whispered in the empty corridor. "She's in a hospital in Cripple Creek, Colorado."

"_Is she ok?_" Bobby asked with all the worry a father would have for his child. Sam took a deep breath and lent on the wall.

"I, I honestly don't know..." Sam sighed out. "She's, she's asleep, some kind of coma..." Sam let the sentence die in the silence as he took another deep breath.

"_My god... How are you and Dean?_" Bobby asked in shock.

"Um... Dean's, not taken it well. He's... Look Bobby, can you get here. We really could use your help." Sam pleaded, as his eyes welled up. The reality of the situation hitting him like a hammer to the guts.

"_Sure son, I'll set off now... I'll get there by morning._" Bobby answered softly.

Dean was sat there reading the notes in Megan's handwriting. Dean hated her handwriting, it was always so rushed, so damn hard to understand. He saw the sketches she had made at the side of the page. Dean always thought if Megan wasn't a hunter she should have become an artist, she had a gift for it. There was a sketch of a root of some kind, it looked like ginger root to Dean. Below it was her chicken scratch, he had no idea what it said. But a couple of pages through Dean saw it. The answer to Megan's situation. "No..." Dean breathed out, looking at her still body.

* * *

><p>"African Dream Root." Dean said firmly as he showed Sam the page. Sam of course could read Megan's handwriting like his own. They were so similar like that.<p>

"What? How'd she even know about this stuff?" Sam asked shocked as he looked at the page. The writing was describing it's uses and how one could travel into their own, and others minds with enough practice. It also listed how expensive it could be and how rare it was to find.

"Becky." Dean almost growled. Now Dean wasn't the biggest fan of Becky's after she drugged his brother into marriage. And the whole psycho, number one fan thing, yeah that didn't do her any favours. But all in all, Dean could happily ignore her, a threatening glare to silence her at times and she went away. But now. She crossed a line. She got someone he loved hurt. He promised himself, if he ever saw her again, he would hurt her and she would never mess with his family again.

"Beck, Becky?" Sam stuttered out seeing how angry Dean was being. Dean pulled out Megan's phone and showed it to Sam. Sam looked at the messages from Becky.

_Did you get to the meeting? Have you got the root now?_

_Have you used it yet? What does it taste like? I bet its nasty!_

_Why haven't you replied? Call me!_

_Are you ok?_

"Becky." Sam growled shaking his head. "She must have told Megan about it from the books... Doesn't she realise how dangerous it is?" Sam scoffed as he felt like hunting down Becky and being not so nice to her.

"I guess not!" Dean snapped at Sam. "At least we know she has some. Means we can wake her up." Dean sighed running an hand through his short spiky hair. It was like the nightmare of the situation had a light at the end to make things right again.

"Dean," Sam said softly. "Do you really think it'll be that easy?" Sam asked careful of his brothers reaction. They both knew how much Megan had been through, and from Sam's own personal experience, he knew how messed up your mind became after time.

"We need to try Sam, it's Megan." Dean said looking at her motionless body. Sure her chest was rising and falling, but it wasn't Megan. Dean knew that Megan never slept on her back for long, she always wiggled around, she could never sleep in one position all night. "We need to find out where the rest of the root is." Dean sighed as Ruth entered the hall carrying three cups.

"Coffee, you guys look like you need it." Ruth replied passing out the cups. She was such a warm person. Sam couldn't help but feel happy that, although Megan hadn't had family around her, she had someone caring about her.

"Thanks Ruth." Sam said and the pair shared a smile that did not go unnoticed by Dean. Ruth passed him the cup and he grunted a thank you.

"Your welcome guys, I just wish I could do more." Ruth sighed taking a sip of her coffee.

"I'm sure she's appreciated having someone with her." Sam said giving Ruth a warm smile. They smiled at each other for a few seconds before Ruth spoke again.

"I doubt she can even hear me... I mean all the tests say she's basically in REM stage sleep. So deep..." Ruth sighed before her beeper went off. She looked at it, an annoyed expression on her face, then gave the boys a warm smile. "I'll be back later." She nodded to Sam before walking away. Sam turned back to Megan and Dean and caught Dean's eyes. There was a look on Dean's face. A _oh really?_ Kind of look.

"What?" Sam asked innocently, but Dean knew Sam better. He knew his baby brother had the hots for the nurse. He smirked into his cup of coffee watching his brother fidget a little under the question.

"She seems... _nice_." Dean teased a little. Knowing why Megan was stuck in the hospital, knowing she was asleep, it made the uneasy feeling fade enough to make him almost feel normal. He was still worried about her, hell, he was always worried, but he knew he could fix this. He could wake her up and that everything was going to be ok. Eventually.

"I called Bobby." Sam admitted looking at Megan's body. Dean had expected it, hell, he was even considering calling him too. He just didn't know what to say to him.

"And?" Dean asked softly, looking at his brother.

"He's going to get here by tomorrow morning." Sam said with a small yawn. Sam tried to hide it but honestly, after realising Megan was going to be ok Dean was starting to feel as tired. All the adrenaline was wearing off fast and even Nurse Ruth's half decent cup of coffee couldn't keep him awake.

"Ok, get some sleep, I'll watch over Megan. In the morning, we re-group with Bobby. Find the root and wake her up." Dean said with a quick nod.

"You do know I'm not going to leave here right?" Sam asked as he wiggled into the chair. Dean smiled at his brother, he was so loyal.

"Fine. Sleep there. You're choice." Dean shrugged taking another sip of the coffee. He was thankful his baby brother was staying. He just felt better having Sam around.

"Good." Sam muttered as he closed his eyes and tried to find a way to get comfy in the plastic chair. It didn't take Sam to fall asleep, not that it would have taken Dean long if he gave in. He rubbed his eyes as he sat there watching the pair of them sleep. Sam was half curled into the chair, and Megan was just laid there. Dean took her hand and wrapped his fingers around.

"So, the nurse said you've been here a month." Dean spoke softly so that he didn't wake his brother. "A month huh and you couldn't call?" Dean shook his head. "I mean, you listened to Becky. That... that stalker psycho fan. What she tell you huh? All the answers are in your own head and the roots the best way to get in? I mean what the hell were you thinking? This stuff, it can be deadly. It becomes addictive. What was so damn wrong in picking up the phone and letting me know?" Dean asked, the emotion started to spill out over his words. "You enjoy scaring the crap out of me? Huh? I mean do you not realise how much I still love you? You go, you go and pull a stunt like this? Damn it Megan! We're family! You're meant to tell me this stuff. If you don't wake up from this... I swear. If you don't..." Dean sighed running his free hand over his face. He wasn't sure what he was doing, he just felt like he needed to talk to Megan. Let her hear his voice, hear how angry he was at her. That somehow that would wake her up, snap her out of it. "I mean really! After all the crap we've been through... you pull this stunt? I don't get... I don't get why couldn't you tell me?" Dean paused feeling something run down his cheek. He wiped at the tear and shook his head. He wasn't going to break down, not until she was awake again. "Crap." Dean muttered wiping his face. "You better remember who you are after all this crap Megan. So help me..."

* * *

><p>Both boys gave into the over due sleep they needed. They were softly sleeping when Bobby walked down the ward, he sighed softly at the sight in front of him. Sam curled half in the chair, the other half on the edge of the bed, holding Megan's hand. Dean was holding onto her other hand, clutching at it as if he let go she would vanish on the spot. Bobby knew all three of them had been through more than most. More than anyone should. And they still fought everyday. He was proud of them, even if they weren't his kids, Bobby always saw them as his. His family. Which meant he had to help protect them. He noticed the note pad resting on the bed side unit. Softly, he walked over to it, picking it up and looking at Megan's chicken scratch. Much like Sam, Bobby knew how to read her hand writing. Bobby believed that the writing was the same for all good hunters, that they used it as a way to keep their research safe. That or they never finished school. He read the pages and the frown on his face grew deeper and deeper. Bobby had referred Megan to Shawn, a psychic in Lily Dale. After her reading, she had told Bobby what Shawn had said. Apparently Shawn had said it was too dangerous for anyone to go into her mind, but that all her answers were in there. Bobby blamed himself for sending her to Shawn, he was a great psychic, it was just, Becky. She had passed on the information on the African Dream Root, then helped set up a meeting so that she could buy some of the root. Bobby cursed as he connected the dots and realised why Megan hadn't simply woken up. He was sat there watching all three of them sleep, his mind racing with what the hell could be happening in Megan's head when Ruth walked over.<p>

"Are you family?" She asked pulling her hair loose. It looked like the young nurse was just clocking off.

"Excuse me?" Bobby asked looking up at the red head.

"Bobby Singer?" Ruth asked as her voice got louder and her eyes widened.

"I'm up!" Dean shouted as both him and Sam shot awake. They looked around utterly confused, but Bobby and Ruth continued their conversation.

"Bobby Singer, that, is that you?" Ruth asked looking at Bobby, slightly confused. He stood up and looked down at the red head. Sure she was a pretty little thing, but he couldn't remember her.

"I'm sorry-" Bobby started to say when Ruth shook her head. A smile crossing her face.

"My mother, Gen Royston, back in 1994, um... the... um... ghost?" Ruth said looking like she was scared they would all think she was crazy.

"Gen, your Gen's little girl?" Bobby asked in shock. Ruth nodded with a wide smile as they pair remembered each other.

"Yeah, yeah I am." She smirked.

"Wow, you got big kid." Bobby smiled pulling her into a small hug. In the background the guys just watched in confusion. They were still half asleep in they defence.

"Bobby, what are, wait," Ruth said turning to Sam and Dean. "Are you hunters?" She asked Sam.

"Um, yeah... we are." Sam said softly a small sad smile on his lips.

"Does that mean, your friend?" Ruth asked looking at all three of them. Sam nodded and Ruth turned to Dean. "She even your girlfriend?" Ruth asked slightly confused as she processed the information.

"Wife actually. Kinda." Dean admitted sheepishly. Ruth nodded turning back to Bobby.

"So you know what's happened to her?" She asked softly.

"I do girl." Bobby nodded with a soft smile.

"Can you make her well again?" Ruth asked carefully, she didn't want the hope spill over the words, but it did. Bobby rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the boys.

"It ain't gonna be that simple." Bobby replied nervously.

"Why the hell not?" Dean asked looking annoyed at Bobby. He was meant to help, he was meant to show up and help them wake her up. Not complicate things.

"Boy, we need to talk. In private." Bobby said looking at Ruth. Sam cleared his throat and stepped up to the side of Ruth.

"You wanna grab some breakfast, you can explain how you know Bobby?" Sam asked with his most charming smile. Ruth felt the tension in the room, but she did know Bobby and the good the man could do. She knew, that no matter how weird things got, he could handle it. She turned to Sam and nodded softly.

"Pancakes sounds like heaven right about now." She replied as Sam smiled down at her.

"Great,um, know anywhere good?" Sam asked as the pair walked off the ward.

* * *

><p>"You wanna run that by me one more time?" Dean asked, he was clearly pissed off as he paced back and forth at the foot of Megan's bed. He felt like his head was about to explode. Between the shock of her landing in the hospital, and the new revelation Bobby was giving him, Dean wasn't sure he could take much more before loosing it.<p>

"Ok, listen to me son," Bobby sighed as he sat next to the bed. "Megan's mind, it's fractured. Shawn-"

"The guy she slept with?" Dean asked cutting in, anger dripping off the words.

"Yeah boy." Bobby sighed again with a small nod, knowing he was going to have to take it in small steps for Dean to understand. He wasn't the brightest bulb at times, more so when he was worried. "Shawn told me what he saw in Megan's reading. He said, that her mind was a damn mine field. That her memories were in there, but that something dangerous was protecting them. Stopping her from finding them. That only she could reach them, past this danger. He said it was too dangerous for anyone else to go in there." Bobby explained.

"Dangerous? She's my-" Dean started to yell when Bobby cut him off.

"I know son! I know. But listen to me, please." Bobby said softly. Dean took a deep breath and stood at the foot of the bed, watching Bobby closely.

"Megan's mind, is broken. We still don't really know how much damage Purgatory did to her. All we know is it's a mess up there. Going in there, even knowing her as well as you do... Boy you could get trapped in there too. For all we know, she's gotten trapped up there." Bobby explained, rubbing his chin. The idea wasn't comforting, Bobby shuddered thinking of how messed up it could be in there. After all, he knew his mind wasn't exactly a pick nick and he was normal in comparison.

"It doesn't matter Bobby! She's trapped in there, she needs our help. I am going in there." Dean said firmly.

"Boy you even listened to me?" Bobby said pushing himself out of the chair.

"Yeah, suicide mission, I got you." Dean snapped, then pointed to the body in the bed. "But that's Megan. She's family. And we do anything for family. Now you can either, help me find the damn root and give me some clues on how to navigate in there. Or you can get out of my way, we clear?" Dean asked with such an intense stare into Bobby's eyes. Dean wasn't going to give up on Megan. Bobby knew that, hell anyone who knew them knew it too. But Bobby, standing there in that moment, he was worried. Worried neither of them would make it out alive.

"Fine. Got her car keys?" Bobby sighed knowing the plan was stupid but that Dean was a stubborn jackass who would have run in there half cocked. Bobby rationalised at least that way he could keep an eye on Dean and maybe help him a little. Dean walked over to Megan's things and grabbed her back pack. He fished around in the pockets for a few moments before he cut his finger on some paper. He pulled out the offending piece and looked at it. What he saw, it took his breath away and made his heart race in one motion. It was a photo. Just a battered poloroid really, to anyone else it would have just looked like some holiday snap. But it wasn't. Not to Megan, and not to Dean. It was a picture of him, Sam and Megan, leaning on the Impala. Dean couldn't even remember the photo being taken. But they were all smiling, laughing at something and Dean presumed it must have been a joke he told. It looked like Bobby had just grabbed the camera and took the photo. They were so happy. Dean couldn't remember the last time he felt so happy, so normal. He took a deep breath as he looked up from the photo and saw Bobby with a sad smile.

"I didn't even know she carried this with her." Dean said passing her the photo.

"She asked if I had any after the house burnt down. She thought it might help jog her mind." Bobby said smiling sadly at the picture in his hands. "She was lying, she wanted a picture of the three of you. She wanted something to keep her going when she felt like giving in." Bobby said looking up to see Dean watching Megan silently.

"She tell you that?" Dean asked, his eyes still glued on her body.

"Course not." Bobby chuckled. "But I ain't no idiot, I've seen the way she looks at you guys. The girl's desperate to find out who she was."

"That why she took the root?" Dean mused out loud then let out a sarcastic laugh. "I just don't... why couldn't she just ask us for help? Why all the cloak and dagger crap? Why not just ask?" Dean asked looking over at Bobby, the tears reaching his eyes as the words came out. Bobby took a deep breath, walking back over to Dean, passing him the photo.

"Boy, she saw how happy you all once were," Bobby said sadly. "She saw how hurt you were about it all. Bout the fact she couldn't remember. She told me how it killed her not being the person we all remembered. She just wanted to make things better. She wanted to be the old her. For you guys." Bobby explained and that was it. Dean couldn't take it any more. All the tough guy defences he built up, all the crap he pushed down into his stomach. He couldn't take it any more. He took one look at her body and walked out of the ward, out of the hospital. He climbed into the car and rested his head on the steering wheel. The tears flowed with ease as everything just became too much for him. He sobbed into the steering wheel wondering if he would ever get to talk to Megan. He felt awful, he beat himself up for pushing her into the situation.

"Why couldn't she just talk to me?" He sobbed bashing his hands hard against the steering wheel. "Why did she have to do this?" He cried out feeling all the worry, sadness and guilt wash out in the tears that fell from his face.

* * *

><p>"So your a hunter too huh?" Ruth sighed as the waitress walked away.<p>

"Um.. yeah." Sam said looking down at his plate of pancakes. Suddenly he didn't feel so hungry.

"You, um... kill things too." Ruth said with a small nod. "I... you don't really strike me as the killer kind Sam." Ruth said with a warm smile as her eyes met Sam's. Sam couldn't help but let a chuckle out.

"Thanks." He smirked at her. "So how do you know Bobby?" He asked as Ruth took a sip of her coffee.

"Well, when I was little we moved home. But there was this guy. I thought he was my friend, but my mother thought he was imaginary. I was a kid, I didn't understand." Ruth explained as she cut into her pancakes. "Turns out, he didn't like being ignored. Things got bad, and my mom, she got hurt. That's when Bobby and Rufus showed. They said they were," Ruth chuckled at the memory of the men showing at her front door. "They said they were special police, that they would make everything ok." Ruth shook her head. "Rufus got knocked out by the ghost and Bobby was in the basement. I was so scared, I ran downstairs and he was there, burning something. I don't really remember much more. I just know Bobby is a good man."

"He is." Sam said with a warm smile. "I, I want to say thanks for looking after Megan." Sam said suddenly as Ruth looked up at him with a folk full of pancake. The pair stared into each others eyes for a few seconds before Ruth's smile grew.

"Well, if I knew someone as cute as you would come for her, I would have tried to find that phone." Ruth smirked as she ate the food. Sam choked out a laugh before trying to hide the hint of blush in his cheeks. "Smooth." Ruth teased as she finished chewing.

"Well, I wasn't really expecting that." Sam smirked taking a bite of his food.

"I don't normally flirt." Ruth shrugged as she began to blush a little. "So, Megan, she a hunter too?" Ruth asked changing the topic to something more easy for the both of them.

"Yeah, she hunts with us sometimes." Sam nodded remembering why he was there.

"She's strong." Ruth said noticing the light leave Sam's eye. He looked up at her with a sad smile. So sad that it made Ruth want to reach over the table and pull him into her arm, it made her want to take away all the pain he was feeling and it made her want to tell him everything was going to be ok.

"More than you know." Sam sighed out with a half a smile.

"I bet." Ruth said softly. "You guys are close huh?" She asked into her pancakes.

"She's a sister to me." Sam said sadly.

"Do you know what's happening with her?" Ruth asked looking back to see puppy dog eye looking back at her.

"Think so." Sam said before taking another sip of his coffee.

"Bobby said he wasn't sure if he could fix it." Ruth stated, biting her bottom lip. She hated loosing people, everyone took a small piece of her faith, her hope. She'd lost too many people already.

"I... I don't know. I mean what's happening, it's dangerous." Sam said noticing how nervous Ruth was. It was clear she cared for Megan's well being. "Look, we'll figure it out. We always do." Sam said with a warm smile, faking hope so that Ruth wouldn't worry. Sam was a good liar, maybe one of the best and although his skill was easy, he hated lying to such a beautiful young woman.

"I hope so..." Ruth said returning his warm smile.

* * *

><p>Dean walked back onto the ward with a small bag of crushed up root. He wasn't looking forward to drinking the thing, he remembered how god awful it had tasted when he drank some to get into Bobby's mind, but it had to be done. He had to get Megan back. Bobby was sat, reading through some of the journal's Megan had in her back pack. He was trying to understand her state of mind, trying to understand what she was thinking about when she took the root.<p>

"How can you read that?" Dean asked as he sat in the chair opposite Bobby. Bobby looked up from the book, he could see Dean had been crying. But Bobby knew better than to push it.

"Girl's hand writing ain't fancy, but it's not that hard to read son." Bobby muttered as he lowered his glasses.

"She writes like Sam." Dean scoffed as he looked at her body. "The pair are so similar it's scary at times..." Dean commented, his eyes locked on her still body again. The bad feeling in his gut kicking in more.

"You know we say the same thing about you and her." Bobby said with a soft chuckle. Dean sat up straight giving him and unimpressed look.

"I am not like Meg." Dean said firmly a hint of a smile creeping into his lips. Bobby shook his head and went back to looking at the books. Dean sighed softly, looking back at Megan, taking her hand in his. He squeezed it hoping she knew that he was there. That he would come and rescue her. He would always be there for. He would always be there to rescue her. He made that promise a long time ago, and sat there, looking down at her body, he wasn't even sure if he could keep it any more. He loved her. He just hoped their love was strong enough to help her wake up.

"You got the root?" Bobby asked breaking Dean from his thoughts. He looked up at the older man and nodded slightly. "Good. We'll wait for Sam and then get this party going." Bobby said standing up, returning the books back to her bag.

"Have you found anything useful?" Dean asked watching Bobby, his hand still wrapped in Megans. Bobby paused and turned to Dean. He knew a lot without reading the books, Bobby was great at reading people. But he wasn't sure Dean needed to know everything, at least not from Bobby's mouth.

"Well basically the kids a basket case." Bobby sighed returning to the chair. He looked over at her still body and couldn't begin to imagine the chaos that was happening in her mind or worse how scared she must have been in there. "She just talked about remembering some things, with a really painful headache."

"Yeah, yeah I saw that a few times..." Dean added with such a hurt look on his face. Dean knew he was the reason for the headaches, he made her have the pain. It crushed him to know it was his fault.

"She said it brought back important memories though." Bobby continued as if he hadn't seen Dean's darkening expression. "Other than that. Most of the journals were about hunts she had been on. The monsters she killed, the people she saved. Regular hunter diary things I guess." Bobby shrugged.

"Most of them?" Dean asked turning to Bobby with a sad expression. Bobby shifted uncomfortably in the chair, under Dean's stare. "What is it Bobby?" Dean asked firmly looking into his eyes.

"Boy, she was just writing things down. How she felt. You can't expect them all to be happy sunshine crap." Bobby said squirming in the chair under the weight of the stare Dean gave. Whether Dean knew it or not, his stare, his ice cold gaze was unmatched. When he truly wanted an answer, when his whole heart was in, he could be terrifying. Bobby speculated it was something he had learnt in the pit, because for the life of him, Bobby couldn't remember Dean giving him a stare like that before he went to hell.

"Bobby, I need to know, what did she write?" Dean asked as his jaw set firm. Bobby took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Some of the writing. She was saying how she wanted to give up. How she didn't care if she never found out who she was. She wanted it all to end, she just wanted to feel better again. She just wanted to feel whole again." Bobby explained looking down to the body in the bed. "She was in a lot of pain son."

"We all are." Dean said looking down at Megan, squeezing his hand again, as if, by his touch, he could make it better somehow.

* * *

><p>Sam walked down into the ICU and over to Bobby and Dean. They were both watching her sleep. Sam hated feeling helpless, it was partly why he wanted to become a lawyer a life time ago. He wanted to help those who couldn't help themselves. He wanted to stick up for the little guy.<p>

"Where's Nurse Ruth?" Dean asked as he herd his brothers footsteps stop just short of the bed.

"She's off her shift. But-" Sam started to say as a new set of footsteps walked down the ward. The guys turned to see Ruth stood there in jeans and a grey sweater, she was giving them all that caring, warm smile.

"So, I got the room ready, but I can't promise people might come in." Ruth shrugged looking up at Sam as she tucked her hands into her pockets.

"Room, what room?" Dean asked looking from Ruth to Sam and back again. Ruth raised an eyebrow and turned to Sam with a confused expression on her face.

"You didn't tell them?" She sighed softly, faking a little annoyance with Sam. Sam smirked and shook his head.

"I just got in." Sam said defending himself. He held his hands up with a warm smile on his lips.

"Someone want to fill us in here?" Bobby asked looking at the couple.

"Sorry yeah," Sam said quickly looking at the two faces verging on anger. "Ruth's got a spare room set up for who evers going to take the root." Sam explained.

"How's she know about that?" Dean asked carefully watching Ruth.

"Sam explained it all. Look I made him ok, so don't get mad with him." Ruth said firmly with a nod. Dean nodded slowly looking over at Bobby.

"Just like your mother, always getting into trouble." Bobby said with a warm smile to Ruth. She shrugged a little and bit her lip.

"What can I say? Family trait." She joked slightly, she turned to Dean. "The room, it's just on the next ward. It's a ward that hasn't been used for a while, but there is still machines in there. So someone could come in, I doubt it, but... just so you know." Ruth explained.

"And why can't we just move a bed in here?" Dean asked confused.

"I can't. The ICU is only meant to have one bed, if I moved a bed, it would raise too many questions. We are a small town kinda place here, you know?" Ruth answered tilting her head slightly.

"Fair enough." Dean said looking over at Bobby again. Bobby stood from his chair and smiled at Ruth.

"Thank you for all your help girl." Bobby said giving her a small hug. The pair pulled apart and Bobby's smile got smaller. "But you need to leave." He added. Ruth looked around, opening her mouth to argue. She wanted to help more, she wanted to make sure nothing went wrong.

"Ruth, it's probably best if we handle it. If something went wrong, I um, we, wouldn't want you to get into trouble." Sam explained throwing her the damn puppy dog eyes look again. She wanted to argue. But given Sam's look, she couldn't she would just cave mid argument anyway and she knew it.

"Fine, but walk me to my car?" She asked Sam letting out a heavy sigh. Sam nodded with a warm smile. Dean stood from the chair and nodded to Ruth.

"Thank you for all your help, and for looking after Megan." Dean said softly. He meant the words even if they did come out in a grumpy kind of voice. Ruth nodded that warm smile still on her face.

"I just hope you can fix it." Ruth said with a sad smile before her and Sam walked out of the ward. The pair walked silently to her car, she pulled her keys out and stood there, looking at them for a few moments.

"I'll call you, let you know what happens." Sam said breaking her from her thoughts. She turned to look up at him and smiled.

"Yeah well, if you don't I'll kick your ass." Ruth teased with a chuckle in her voice. Sam couldn't help but laugh at the smaller woman and her choice of words.

"I'll, I'll keep that in mind." Sam smirked down at Ruth. She took a deep breath and smiled.

"So, I guess, good luck Sam." Ruth said nodding a little.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam said tucking his hands into his pockets. He was fascinated with Ruth, she was such a caring woman, and lately Sam hadn't seen anyone care. It gave him hope that out there were more good people like her.

"Hey Sam?" Ruth asked breaking him from his stare and thoughts. He blinked and looked at her waiting for her to speak. But she didn't, she went on her tip toes and pressed her lips against his. It took Sam a few seconds to realise that he was being kissed but it didn't take him much longer to react. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him as he kissed back. It wasn't a hungry, needy kiss, but a soft, gentle one. A caring kiss, from a caring woman. As the pair pulled back, Sam couldn't hide the wide, almost goofy grin that crossed his lips. "How about, when this is all over, we have dinner?" Ruth asked with just a wide grin as Sam's. Sam nodded liking Ruth more and more by the second.

"Yeah, yeah. That sounds great." Sam nodded as Ruth laughed.

"Well, you got my number. Call me." Ruth smirked as she climbed back into her car.

* * *

><p>"My god that smells disgusting!" Dean cried out as Bobby passed him a cup of the root tea mixture. Dean's nose stuck up and he fought not to gip a little.<p>

"Well boy, you wanted to go in her mind." Bobby said adding a hair into the cup and stirring it up.

"Awesome." Dean muttered looking over at Sam. Ever since he returned from the parking lot with Ruth he couldn't hide the smile. The guys knew something had happened between them, and they were just waiting for Sam to fill them in.

"Hey, remember, it's going to be a mess in there." Sam sighed as he stood next to Dean.

"I know, I know. Look, I'm going in, finding her, waking her up and getting the hell out." Dean said with a quick nod.

"So we can kick her ass." Bobby added folding his arms over his chest.

"Exactly, so just go keep an eye on her." Dean said with a nod to Sam and Bobby.

"Drink up then." Bobby sighed knowing that Dean was stalling a little.

"Good luck." Sam said softly as Dean took another sniff of the drink and nearly gipped again. Dean took one last look at his family and downed the whole cup in one go.

"Mozel -" Dean started to say when he dropped backwards onto the bed dropping the cup as well.

"Looks like it worked." Sam said as he moved Dean onto the bed better.

"Let's hope he doesn't get trapped in there too." Bobby sighed looking at the now completely peacefully body of Dean.

* * *

><p>"Well I wasn't expecting this..." Dean said as he looked around...<p>

* * *

><p>Well? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! If you don't review any other chapter! Please review this one! PLEASE!<p> 


	13. Put Me Back Together Part 2

So sorry for taking so long to update - yeah I know I suck! Thanks to Asya55, Sam and Deans Crazy Ass Wench, Geminixoxo and Klandgraf2007 for the awesome constant reviews!

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><p>"Well I wasn't expecting this..." Dean said as he looked around the street he was stood on. It looked like just your average house, in any town. He walked down the street until he noticed one of the letter boxes, the name O'Connor was written with thick red paint. Dean walked over to the letter box and took a closer look, the red paint, it was too thick, a too deep a shade of red to be paint. He tapped the <em>paint<em> with his finger and instantly recognised it as blood. Megan's surname was written in blood – _nice and creepy_ Dean thought as he wiped the blood on his jeans. Dean turned to the house and shrugged walking towards the front door. He loved Megan, thought they were similar and although he didn't always understand her choices, he thought he knew her better than anyone else. But standing, in her mind, he really wasn't sure what was going to be ahead of him. He knocked and carefully opened it. "Megan? Hey, you in here?" Dean called out as he walked into the house. It looked normal enough, pictures of Megan's family all over the walls, furniture and everything you would expect in any normal house. The house seemed empty, not a soul in the place. It trouble Dean a little, after all this was Megans mind, she should have been somewhere. Dean herd some movement from the kitchen and walked in, looking around the whole time for anyone. "Megan?" He called out as he walked into the room. There stood in the middle of the kitchen was Megan, see looked lost, confused.

"Dean? What, what... what are you doing in my house?" Megan asked confused. She looked around the room before her eyes landed back on Dean. The confusion clear on her face.

"Megan, your dreaming." Dean said taking small steps towards her. She continued to look around the room, it was like she was looking for something.

"I... no, I can't- This is wrong!" Megan snapped as she looked at Dean again with a furrowed brow. "You! You're not meant to be here! You can't- This isn't right! You were never here!" Megan said shaking her head. She was clearly upset by Dean's presence and it hurt him to see her like that. He took another tentative step towards her and she moved back instinctively. It hurt Dean to see her cower away from him, but he had to remind himself, it was her mind and as Bobby had said, she could be a little more messed up then anyone had thought.

"Megan, you need to listen to me." Dean said calmly as she shook more. Mumbling more about how Dean couldn't be real. How it was wrong, so very wrong and that nothing made sense any more. She was getting hysterical, almost crying as she rocked back and forth on the spot, hugging herself.

"She's just part of a broken memory." Megan's voice came from behind Dean. He span around and saw her lent against the door frame. She looked surprisingly good. She was wearing jeans and a Breaking Benjamin t-shirt. "She doesn't actual make any sense." Megan added shaking her head. "Just like the rest in here.." She sighed a small smile crossing her lips as she saw Dean watching her.

"Megan?" Dean asked confused. Megan pushed herself off the door frame and walked over to Dean, tucking her hands into her pockets.

"Hey Dean, guess you took some of the root too huh?" She asked biting her bottom lip nervously.

"You're really you?" Dean asked still slightly confused by the whole situation.

"Bingo brainiac... well kinda." Megan said looking confused. "See," She said as she sat at the table. "I'm Megan, in the sense, I'm the person you've been talking to the last couple of months. I'm the one who's been on the surface this whole time." Megan tried to explain, the situation, drumming her thumbs on the table as she spoke. Dean took a deep breath and sat opposite her at the table. Sure enough, she looked like the Megan he had been talking to the last couple of months, the one who was beginning to remember him. Them.

"Ok... so who is," Dean turned to where the other Megan was and saw no one was standing there. They were alone in the kitchen again. "Where'd she go?" Dean asked turning to face Megan. She smirked, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"That's part of the fun. Memories of me, just kind of pop up out of nowhere, then disappear again. Some of them, like then, I know. That was me, just before I got the flight to the States. I was walking around the house alone. I wanted to remember this place forever." Megan said sadly looking around the kitchen. "Home, you know?" She said looking at Dean.

"I know." Dean said with a small nod.

"But, some memories, I just... they mean nothing to me. I think, I think they are the ones I'm missing. The ones I came in here looking for." Megan explained looking back at Dean.

"You need to wake up." Dean said reaching across the table and taking her hands in his own. "You've been out for a month. It's not safe to stay in here." Dean tried to explain.

"I can't leave." Megan said pulling her hands back. She stood from the table and shook her head. "I'm close, I know it." She said firmly.

"Close? To what?" Dean asked utterly confused as he stood from the table as well. Megan smiled at him, a knowing kind of smile.

"Me." She said with a smile. "I'm close to finding me Dean. The one you remember. The one you love."

"What?" Dean asked confused. "You close to finding your missing memories?" Dean asked as Megan's smile got wider. She nodded a little and took a deep breath.

"And to think, I just stuck around you because I thought you were all looks and no brain." Megan teased a little before sighing. "I can feel it. I know I'm closer... a few more days, I know I can find them." Megan said, so much certainty in her voice. Dean stood there in shock. He didn't know what to do. Bobby and Sam had sent him in to find Megan and wake her up. Everyone knew the longer someone stayed under, the harder it was for them to wake up. But even so, she had just told him she could be who she once was. She could once again be his Megan. The woman he married, the woman he loved more than anything in this life. He wasn't expecting this to happen. He half thought that he would find Megan just in a corner of her mind, trapped trying to find the exit.

"Megan..." Dean said, looking deep into her chocolate brown eyes. They were the eyes of the woman he loved. He needed her back in his life, now more than ever. "Ok, ok look." Dean said firmly.

"You're going to let me stay?" Megan asked hopeful of his answer. She knew she just needed a little more time. Just a little more and she knew where to look. She knew she could reach the memories. She could return to the person she once was.

"I'm going to help you, we're going to find the memories together. You're not going anywhere with out me, deal?" Dean asked holding his hand out to her. Megan smiled taking his hand and shaking it.

"Thank you Dean. I know we can do this." Megan smirked. "We need to go upstairs, but, um... it gets weird from here. Are you ok with it?" She asked biting on her bottom lip again. Dean noticed how worried she looked and that bad feeling in his gut rolled a little. But he had to try it, to get Megan back.

"Sure, I've seen weird, I've been in Bobby's head. That was down right scary." Dean joked half laughing. Megan laughed a little then turned to walk up the stairs. Dean took a deep breath and fallowed her. They walked onto the landing and Megan walked over to a room with her name on it.

"Here goes nothing, right?" Megan asked as she opened the door and the pair walked in.

* * *

><p>Dean walked into a bright light and as it died down he looked around to find that he was yet again alone. "Damn it Megan!" Dean growled as he looked around his new surroundings. The place looked familiar, there were purple walls, and dark sheets on the bed in front of him. On the floor was rose pettles and candles. It was then it hit him. Dean knew exactly where he was. The bathroom door opened and stood in the door way was Megan. <em>His Megan<em>. The Megan who remembered him, who was in love with him. The one he was trying to bring back. She was stood in a black baby doll, playing with the hem slightly. As she looked up she gave him that heart stopping smile he'd been dying to see lately. She was stunning and Dean couldn't help but just watch her. He licked his lips as she got closer to him.

"Mr Winchester, what are you doing out of bed?" She smirked at him, that playful glint in her eye. Dean's heart began to race as he looked at her. A broad smile crossed his lips.

"I, um, I... you look amazing!" Dean said as she walked over to him and placed her hands on his waist. It was then that Dean realised he was stood in just his boxers. He didn't remember getting undressed and wondered if he was caught up in one of Megan's memories. But looking at the woman in front of him. He really didn't care.

"Thank you." Megan said going up on her tip toes and pressing a soft kiss on his lips. Dean's mind went into overdrive. He let the moan escape his lips as Megan sucked on his bottom lip, his arms snaking around her waist as she was enjoy his response. He pulled her closer to him and pressed his lips harder against hers. The kiss became deeper, more passionate. Dean remembered kissing Megan like that, like she was the only thing in the world. He herd the softest of moans escape her lips as he slipped his tongue into the mix. They broke apart for air and Dean looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes. All the love they reflected, all the lust for the moment. Dean forgot where he really was. He let his hands slide down to her thighs and wrapped them around. He picked her up in one easy movement, her legs wrapping tightly around his waist as his hands held her backside.

"Dean..." Megan said breathlessly as he started to kiss her neck. Each kiss sending shivers down her spine and exciting Dean just that little bit more. Soon Megan was moaning Dean's name louder and louder in his ear. "Dean... Oh God Dean! Dean!" Her voice was like heaven to him.

"Oh god, I've missed this..." Dean cried out in a husky voice as he carried her over to the bed.

"Missed this?" Megan asked confused as she sat there looking up at Dean. He panicked slightly but put on his famous school boy grin.

"Having some time alone. Just you and me." Dean said smoothly, the smile returned on Megans face. Along with a flirty look in her eyes. She slid herself further up the bed then beckoned him to fallowed her with her index finger. Well, Dean did not need to be asked twice. He crawled up the bed, straddling her as he went. He looked down at her and couldn't believe his luck. He was back with his wife. Back in a happy place where nothing could ruin it. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and stroked her soft cheek. Megan smiled, rubbing her face into his hand a little.

"I love you Dean." Megan said as he lent down and started to kiss her again, propping himself up on his elbows. The kiss was passionate, needing. He needed her. He needed his Megan back. He needed them to be like this again. This in love, this together. Just this happy. Dean felt Megan's hand slid down his spine, making small circles at the base of his spine. He'd missed that. Her touch. The way she could make him melt with one, fleeting, almost ghost like touch.

"I love you too Megan." Dean said breaking the kiss, their faces inches apart. The warm smile on her face made him feel whole. Dean couldn't help but smile back.

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't, I mean, do you think they're ok?" Sam asked as he looked at Megan's sleeping form. Something wasn't sitting right with him, his brother had drunk the root a little over an hour ago and still he hadn't woke up. Neither of them had shown any signs of life really.<p>

"Boy might just be having some trouble finding her. She could be lost in there Sam..." Bobby sighed as he readjusted his cap. Bobby was nervous, Bobby hated being nervous. He was a seasoned hunter damn it! He was used to pressure, no win endings, hell even the occasional surprise. He could handle any hunt without so much as a hint of fear. Except, except when it came to his family. When kin was involved Bobby became a wreck. He always put on a big bad-ass face for the boys, hell even Megan at times, but truth be told. Bobby worried so much for them. All three of the eijets.

"Well, um, do you think, I should-" Sam started to suggest that he take the root and pull the pair out. Sam knew better than any other living person how much Hell could mess with your mind. It ripped Sam into pieces and he had to fight through that horror alone. It ate him up inside knowing what Megan could be going through, how hard it could be. Let alone Dean. Sam knew he couldn't have let his big brother see the mess in his own head, he only hoped Dean could take Megan's brand of crazy.

"No boy. Look like I said it could be a mess in there... we just gotta give the boy time. Why don't you go check on him again?" Bobby asked eyeing the younger hunter and sensing all the frustration in him. Sam sighed running a hand through his longish hair and nodded his head.

"Yeah.. I'll go check on Dean." Sam sighed as he all but skulked out of the ward. Bobby knew how hard it was to just sit on the side lines and watch. He could really sympathise with Sam, but that would mean going all, how did Dean put it? Oh yeah, chick flick, on him. And Bobby was far from a chick flick kinda guy! He looked down at the sleeping body and took her small hand in his own, squeezing it slightly as he let out a heavy sigh.

"When you get out of this Missy, we are going to have one of those nice long ass chats I know your so fond of." Bobby sighed as she just laid there, the only indications of life, her chest rising and falling softly, and the beeping of the machines she was hooked up to.

* * *

><p>"Am I interrupting?" Megan said standing at the side of the bed. Dean's head snapped up and saw Megan, in her Breaking Benjamin t-shirt stood there with her hands on her hips. She looked annoyed. Dean looked down and realised he was just propped up on the bed, with no one under him. He scrambled off the bed and looked frustrated and annoyed.<p>

"Where the hell did you go? What happened to staying together?" Dean almost growled as he realised he was wearing his normal clothes again.

"Well I was looking for you and stumbled into something..." Megan said rubbing the back of her neck and biting her lip. Dean knew the signs and how to read them. Megan was worried about something, worried and or scared.

"Megan, what is it?" Dean asked softly, taking a step closer to her. He didn't want to scare her, he just wanted to be there for her. Make her feel safe. Dean felt like it was his job. Protecting his family.

"I... there's a corridor..." Megan said looking out into nothing as she remembered it. "You remember Shawn?" Megan blinked as she turned to Dean.

"Shawn?" Dean asked confused, the name rang a bell but he wasn't sure.

"The psychic in Lily Dale." Megan clarified as she played with her hands nervously.

"Umm, yeah... the guy you slept with." Dean grumbled as he folded his arms over his chest. He wasn't happy that Megan had slept with someone else. She was his, and seeing her move on like that. Well, it had hurt Dean. It had made him realise just how different she was before they met.

"Jealous much?" Megan asked tilting her head to one side.

"Back to the point." Dean growled with a set look on his face. His classic poker face, hiding all the thoughts, hurt he felt inside. Megan let out a sigh running a hand through her hair.

"Fine." Megan said leaning against one of the walls. "Shawn told me, warned me. He said there was something in here. Something dangerous..."

"Yeah, yeah I remember Bobby saying something about it." Dean said and looked over to Megan. She looked a little tired. "Are you ok?" He asked taking a step closer to her. Megan pushed herself off the wall and nodded, pushing a small smile onto her face.

"Super." She lied, it was a bad lie but Dean didn't push it. He knew how defensive she could be. "I think, I mean I don't know. I found this corridor. It's kind of creepy, and dark and I don't know how to explain it. I get this feeling..." Megan paused, biting her bottom lip. "I know the answers are at the end of the corridor. I know it." She added nodding slowly.

"But?" Dean asked knowing all too well it was never that simple. Thing in his life was never that simple.

"But," She paused and shook her head. "It's stupid. But I know there's something bad, something that's going to hurt me in that corridor." Megan explained looking over at Dean.

"You think it's what Cass set up to protect you from the memories?" Dean mused out loud as he closed the space between them and wrapped his arms around her. Holding her closer to him. Megan didn't resist the hug, she welcomed it. She rested her head on his chest and sighed, being around Dean gave her a strength. One that made her want to get past the corridor and find the answers.

"I... I don't know. Will you walk down it with me?" Megan asked as they pulled out of the hug. Her eyes showed how scared she was to walk down the corridor alone. It was that vulnerability that Dean hated seeing in Megan's eyes. She was always strong, even when she didn't realise. He hated seeing her scared, he had to help her but first he needed answers.

"I will. But tell me the truth, are you ok?" Dean asked firmly. Megan held her breathe for a few seconds and sighed softly, shaking her head as the pair sat at the edge of the bed.

"No. I'm not." She said looking at the floor. "Not like you haven't noticed..." She half laughed with a sad smile.

"What's wrong?" Dean asked worried. His eye brows furrowed together as he took a really good look at her. She looked more than just tired, she looked drained. She looked weaker than he remembered her to be.

"I... I feel like I'm losing myself." Megan admitted barely above a whisper, the fear dripped off every word she spoke. She pushed her hair off her face and turned to face Dean. "I know I can't stay much longer. I know if I do, I wont wake up." She said seriously. Something in her brown eyes, the light he was so used to seeing, it was fading, right before him.

"Well just leave then. Wake up right now." Dean said grabbing hold of her hands and holding them tight. Megan gave him a sad smile, looking down to their hands.

"Oh Dean," She said sadly, a single tear falling from her face. "I can't. I'm too close."

"I don't care. You need to wake up." Dean said, almost pleading with her.

"I can't. I need to be her. I need to be the one you love." Megan said firmly looking Dean dead in the eyes. Dean shook his head as he felt his eyes begin to water.

"Not if it costs you your life Meg, I'd rather live with you like this than not at all." Dean replied softly, the warmth, the love in his eyes clear for anyone to see. Megan shook her head as she stood up quickly.

"You want her. You deserve her." Megan said before turning and running for the door. She needed this. She needed to become the woman he loved. It killed her not being able to live up to the person she once was and she was going to fix that. Whatever it took. Dean was fast, but still only just managed to grab her hand as the pair ran through the open door into the once again bright light.

* * *

><p>The light faded and Dean felt Megan's fingers wrap tighter around his hand as she swayed and fell into the wall. Dean grabbed her, holding her up as she panted. She was sweating slightly and looked pale. Dean didn't like it. He didn't like how much all this dream walking was taking out of Megan.<p>

"We need to go back." Dean said firmly as he felt her forehead. She was burning up and Dean knew it. He frowned at her as if some disapproving look would make her change her mind and reverse this crazy ride. That it would somehow make her just wake up.

"Dean." Megan said catching her breath.

"Now Megan. Wake up." Dean ordered her, his poker face placed perfectly on as his eyes locked with her. Megan pushed his hand away from her head and stood up, pushing his hands away from her.

"Screw you Dean Winchester." Megan said firmly. "You don't want to help me remember, then... just.. Wake up. I'm staying. I'm making it to the end of this rather, creepy, freaking corridor and I am getting my memories back. With, or without you." Megan said with a firm nod to make sure Dean got the message. And boy did he. He knew how stubborn Megan was and seeing her stand up to him like that. He couldn't help but smile.

"Ok then." Dean said taking a deep breath and then looked at the road ahead. Sure enough it was a long corridor, in fact Dean couldn't actually see the end. There was no doors along the corridor, just grey walls with wall paper peeling off. There was a dim light that seemed to run the length that added to the overall creep factor of the place. Dean turned around to see if he could find the way they came in but his heart jumped into his throat as he saw an endless corridor behind them. They were trapped. Trapped in this weird creepy corridor. Dean mused whether they were trapped because Megan was getting weaker or because she was more determined to get answers and didn't want them running off.

"Ready?" Megan asked with a shaky breath. In all honesty, no matter how stubborn she was feeling, she knew she was getting weaker. The little stunt of running into the corridor had taken more out of her then she would have liked but she was determined to find herself. And looking down the corridor, she knew, she just knew the answers where at the end of it. But being stubborn had got her a lot of things in her short life. She knew for a fact, being stubborn had got her to America. It had got her hunting with her best friend. It had even got her back up on her feet when most people would have crumbled. Sure she might not have known everything about herself, but she knew when she put her mind to something she got it done.

"If you start feeling worse, you tell me." Dean said sternly as the pair took small baby steps down the dark corridor.

"Sure, you'll be the first to know... honest." Megan said with a cheeky grin that made Dean roll his eyes at her.

"Still a smart ass." Dean muttered as he took the lead, keeping Megan in view but standing in front of her, protecting her from anything that could jump out at them. His hunter instincts were going in over drive as he walked. He knew this place wasn't right. The way it felt, like Megan had said, it just was right. Dean was almost certain that there was something there. Something that threatened them with its silent presence.

"So, Dean, um..." Megan tried to strike up a conversation. Anything to stop the silence, to break the feeling in her stomach. The uneasy, hunters nerves that made her wish she had her family knife. Or a gun. Or car. Or hell right now she'd even take a branch. Anything she could use to protect herself. Dean glanced at her over his shoulder and saw the nerves. Sure Megan was a hunter, but this was her mind, and what could be more scary then your own imagination?

"Sam's hitting on your nurse." Dean blurted out as they walked. He herd Megan chuckle a little and smiled to himself. "Bought her breakfast and everything." He added as his voice seemed to bounce off the walls.

"Really?" Megan asked, thankful for the distraction. Her heart beat slowed to a more manageable level. "What, what does she look like? She pretty?" Megan asked as they moved down the corridor. Dean shrugged his shoulders as Megan walked up to his side.

"Small, red head... you know, not ugly..." Dean said plainly, his eyes darting to her own before scouting the area again.

"A nurse, and your not thinking she's hot?" Megan asked in disbelief. She couldn't hide the smile and laugh as she looked at Dean's a face. It was obvious he thought more of the woman.

"Ok, she's kinda hot! But no where near you." Dean said with his cheeky school boy grin and wink. Megan swatted at his arm and shook her head as the pair smirked at each other.

"You think this corridor is long?" Megan asked returning her attention to the creepy location they found themselves in.

"Let's hope not..." Dean sighed as the pair continued to make their way down the dark, creepy corridor.

* * *

><p>Sam sulked into the room where Dean was sleeping. Sulking being the right word. He didn't know what to do. How to help. He just knew he hated the waiting around. He knew it gave him time, time to think of thousands of scenarios of what could go wrong. Sam was the brighter brother, it wasn't exactly a secret. But at times Sam wished he could be a little more like his big brother. He wished his brain wouldn't automatically go to <em>that place<em>, the place filled with blood, guts, gore, death and pain. He wished he could just switch that part of his brain off and just exist. But he couldn't. He was Sam. He checked on Dean and sighed watching him sleeping peacefully. Dean was just laid out cold, no creepy smile, no hint of what he was dreaming. If he wasn't in Megan's mind, Sam would have sworn it was the best sleep his big brother had got in a long time. He knew things were still hard for Dean. He knew Dean was trying to find a way to be just Dean. Not the protective big brother, or the husband, or the world saviour. Just plain old Dean Winchester. Sam knew Dean was strong though. He knew he would be ok, because after all Dean had himself, Bobby and Megan... when she woke up.

"Man, you better find her soon..." Sam sighed pushing his shaggy hair out of his face. "Dean, look... I know it might be scary in there. I know it might look like there's no light at the end of the tunnel," Sam paused thinking back to his own troubled mind. "You need to stay strong Dean. You can find her. You can find the light at the end of the tunnel and bring her back to us. Bring both of you back to us."

* * *

><p>"You know Bobby is going to kick your ass when you wake up?" Dean asked as they continued down. Megan sighed knowing all too well the lectures that faced her when she woke up.<p>

"I know, but-" Megan started to say when Dean turned to her, lifting his hand indicating that he wanted her to stop talking. The pair stood in perfect silence for a few seconds until Dean's expression darkened. "What?" Megan asked, the panic clear in that one word. Her heart began to race and she was almost certain that he could hear it.

"I thought..." Dean trailed off listening to his surroundings when a faint noise happened. A creaking, strained noise. The kind of noise you got in bad 1930's horror films when the Mummy was about to attack.

"What the hell was that?" Megan asked jumping up and looking around. Her heart was racing as she looked around. Her eyes scanning the whole space, she cursed under her breath the lack of light and looked to Dean for answers.

"I, don't know." Dean admitted as the pair looked at each other. "But I think, we should get a move on." Dean said holding out his hand for Megan to take. She didn't need to be told twice as she locked her hand in Deans and the pair sped up.

"This can't be good." Megan said softly as the noise started to get louder. It quickly became clear that the noise was coming from the walls. Megan looked at Dean with wide eyes as the noise appeared to be level with them in a matter of seconds. "Dean..." Megan said looking at Dean.

"We need to keep moving! Come on!" Dean cried out pulling Megan along. The pair went from walking faster, to jogging to running. But it didn't matter, no matter how fast, or how far they ran the ever growing noise was right there. Just behind the walls. The noise grew and changed. It changed into something that stop the pair of them in their tracks cold.

"Was that?" Megan asked stopping Dean. Dean looked around but couldn't see anything. The light was so dim, the walls, so run down. He couldn't make anything out.

"I can't see a damn thing!" Dean huffed as the noise happened again. He wrapped his arm around Megan, pulling her closer to him. "Damn it! Where is it?" Dean cried out, as the pair looked around the corridor.

"Dean... maybe this wasn't such a great idea.." Megan said with a nervous laugh. Dean nodded rubbing her back supportively.

"We're going to make it out here. Don't worry." Dean said softly. Although in that moment Dean wasn't sure of what was going to happen. The noise happened again, right in front of them. Dean pulled Megan behind him and was ready to face the monster head on.

"Dean!" Megan cried out as she saw it happen. Out of the wall, out of the grey, fading wall paper, a hand pushed out. It was a hand with claws, a hand Megan recognised all too well.

"Stay back!" Dean yelled unsure of what he really could do if the werewolf in the walls broke through and started to attack them. Werewolves were bigger, stronger and nasty. Dean had no weapons, and no way of protecting them, but he knew one thing. He would give his life to protect her.

"Dean! We need-" Megan started to say when a face pushed through the wall, again it didn't break the wall but Megan knew exactly what was happening. "It's me. It's my werewolf side..." She said standing at the side of Dean. Dean put his hand out stopping Megan from getting any closer to the monster.

"Megan, we need to get past this." Dean said, never tearing his eyes off the monster that continued to try to push itself through the wall.

"Dean... it's me..." Megan said softly.

"What? No! That part of you... it went to Purgatory... Cass, he sent it there." Dean said watching as the wall moved again and the claws tried to break through again. The roar of the werewolf echoed along the corridor and made the pair of them jump.

"It's part of me Dean," Megan said pushing Dean's hand out of the way and stepping in front of them. "It's always been a part of me. Always will." She added softly, it was like she was memorised by the creature and it's struggle to break free. Dean grabbed Megan's wrist, pulling her back.

"That isn't you. Ok? You need to realise that!" Dean snapped at her, shaking her by the shoulders slightly. Megan shook her head, a placid expression her face.

"It's ok Dean." She said pulling his hands off of her. "I know now... I, I understand." Megan said nodding to Dean.

"No Megan." Dean said taking a step with her as she tried to back away. The werewolf growled again and tried to burst through the wall. She turned around and walked to the wall, to where the werewolf was trying to break free. She didn't know exactly what she was doing, but she knew that she had to do something. She reached out a hand to the claw, holding her breath as they touched. "Megan!" Dean cried out, rushing forward. But then he stopped. Megan was holding the werewolves hand.

"I know... I know you thought I had forgotten all about you." She said to the wall. "You thought I'd moved on. But I can't. I can't without you. I know your in here. I know deep down you'll always be in here. It's ok now. I know. You don't, you don't need to get my attention any more. I know." Megan said calmly to the wall. Suddenly the walls began to shake. This time Dean did rush all the way to Megan. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back to him. The walls continued to shake as if the monster behind the walls was letting them know it was still there.

"Hippy talk? Really?" Dean asked holding Megan close.

"It's part of me dumb arse." Megan frowned to Dean as the walls stopped shaking. The pair watched as the corridor changed right in front of their eyes. The wall paper that was peeling and fading repaired it's self. Making the walls bright with colour. Then the lights above them shone brighter, enough to make them both able to see. And best of all, the end of the corridor appeared. A door stood waiting for them to open.

"Wow..." Dean smirked, impressed with Megan and what she did. Megan smirked but then felt like she was about to throw up. The heat washed over her and she pushed Dean aside, running a little behind them to throw up. The vile taste of bile burnt her throat as she emptied her stomach onto the ground then noticed the all too familiar copper taste in her mouth. She spat it out and saw the blood fall.

"Damn it..." Megan sighed standing up straight and turning to see Dean stood there with a worried expression on his face.

"We need to hurry." Dean said. It was all he said. But it wasn't all he was thinking. He noted that there still wasn't an exit, only another door to go through. He saw the blood, he knew Megan was getting weaker. But there wasn't much more that Dean could do. He needed to get her to her memories and for the pair of them to wake up. Then, and only then would Megan start to heal. Then he would have her back. Megan was too tired to speak, her muscles were screaming for her to rest but she was so close. So close to finding out who she was, becoming that person again. She needed the answers too much to quit now, and thankfully Dean realised it too. She nodded to him as she slowly wobbled her way to him. As soon as she reached him, she wrapped her arm around his waist for support. Dean hooked his arm under hers and the pair walked to the door. Neither of them really knowing what was going to be ahead. But all they knew is that they would face it together.

* * *

><p>Ruth couldn't sleep. Sure the guys had wanted her out of the way to keep her safe, but damn it, she just couldn't stay away. She walked onto the ward to find Bobby and Sam sat around Megan's bed chatting softly. It was clear the pair hadn't gotten any sleep since she left and she wasn't sure if that was cute or annoying. She walked over to the pair passing them both fresh hot coffee's.<p>

"Thought you'd need these." She said smiling at Sam as she noticed him perk up at her arrival.

"Ruth, you're meant-" Sam started to argue when she simply raised her hand to him, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence.

"I can't stay at home and worry on my own. I need to be here. So tough luck pal, I'm staying." She said taking the empty seat next to Sam. Bobby gave her a warm smile and a chuckle before sipping on his drink. "Has there been any change?" Ruth asked Sam as the pair shared a warm smile.

"Umm I don't think so. I mean neither of them have moved or woken up... yet." Sam shrugged a little. Ruth nodded softly and stood up, walking to the end of Megan's bed. She picked up her charts and then read the machines outputs. She couldn't hide the frown as her eyes scanned over the page.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked as she felt the pair of worried eyes on her. She let out a small sigh, wishing she was better with her poker face. She was a trained nurse, she wasn't meant to show emotions, but she was so tired too. She put a small smile on her lips and looked up to meet Bobby and Sam's questioning faces.

"Just thinking something..." She lied without making eye contact with either man. Bobby let out a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"Girl, your as bad a liar as your momma. Now, tell us, what's wrong?" Bobby asked giving Ruth a look that could read her soul if he wanted to. She put the charts back on the bed and sat down next to Sam, tapping her fingers on the edge of chair while she looked at the readings on the machines.

"Guys, I don't want to worry you..." Ruth sighed out looking at the pair. Sam had the damn puppy dog eyes and it killed Ruth to talk to him in that moment. She instead turned to the seasoned hunter, Bobby. Thankfully his face was more like stone. Ruth could work with that. She hoped.

* * *

><p>They walked through the door and into blinding light again. Megan wasn't sure how much more she could take. Everything in her body was telling her to just give up. Wake up and get well again. But she was stubborn and it was that streak that was making her continue. As the light died down the pair found themselves back on the landing of Megan's home.<p>

"Don't tell me we just went through all that for nothing!" Dean grunted as he rested Megan against one of the walls. She looked worse, and Dean really didn't think that was possible. He took her face in his hands and felt the clammy warmth from her face. "Hey, hey, hey, come on, stay with me." Dean said looking into her brown eyes. The light Dean loved in them had all but faded.

"I'm... gonna... try..." Megan said with laboured breathes. She was so weak now even words took too much effort. Dean gave her a sad smile before looking around the landing for answers. It was then he noticed a bricked up door.

"You always had that?" Dean asked pointing to the bricked up door way a few feet away from the pair.

"Not that I can remember." Megan mumbled as she pushed off the wall and wobbled over to it. As the pair got closer it became clear there was cracks in the wall. Cracks where light was shinning through.

"What the hell?" Dean asked as he reached out to touch one of the cracks.

"NO!" Megan screamed out, slapping his hand away quickly. Dean turned to her as Megan fell to the floor beside him. Dean dropped to his knee's grabbing hold of Megan, making her sit up right.

"Megan? Megan can you hear me?" Dean asked as her eyes rolled around in her head. She looked terrible, pale, sweaty skin, shaking slightly. "Wake up! Wake up now damn it!" Dean yelled as he shook her shoulders violently. "Wake up!" He snapped at her, the anger in his voice masking the worry and down right fear he had. He didn't want to lose Megan, and as much as he wanted her back. He wasn't going to let her die. She needed to wake up now. They'd wasted enough time in this place Dean thought. Megan's eyes started to focus on Dean again as she smirked at him.

"Your bossy." Her words came out slurred but she was trying so hard to mask the pain. To mask the worry she felt. She knew something wasn't right, hell maybe being stuck in her own mind should have been the first clue. But things weren't right and she wasn't sure if she could even wake up. She wanted out. That much she knew. She wanted to wake up and have Bobby lecture her. Sam give her the damn puppy dog eyes. Dean a hug, a real hug. Yeah, she wanted to wake up now. But she couldn't, something wouldn't let her. She was trapped.

"I know... you need to wake up Meg." Dean said with all the sadness he felt. He brushed some hair out of her face and she sighed, shivering slightly.

"Nope. Need memories." She said with a nod. Dean shook his head.

"Not this time." Dean said sadly. Something in Megan's eyes changed, they became duller almost. She grabbed his wrist with all the energy she had and held it tight.

"We can do this." She forced the words to have clarity. She forced them out so much, she had to make Dean continue. She needed to get to the memories to wake up.

"Megan-" Dean started to argue and she shook her head again.

"Break the wall." She said nodding to the bricked up wall behind them. "Don't touch the light. Hurts." She added with a smirk. Dean frowned at her, wondering what she was up to. He knew she needed to just wake up. Wake up and make everything right again, but she was still being so damn stubborn. Dean wished he knew a way to force her to wake up, but he didn't. So all he could do was, carry on with this stupid game. He took a deep breath and stood up, looking down at Megan with a strong face.

"Everything's going to be ok. I promise." Dean said with his cock sure smile. In that moment, Dean wasn't even sure if they were going to wake up from this. But as long as Megan thought it, it gave the pair a fight chance. He hoped.

"Right." Megan wheezed out softly as Dean nodded to her before turning to the wall. Now this was a whole new challenge to him. He needed to break down the wall without actually touching the light.

"Right. Right... ok... um.." Dean looked around for anything that could help him. But there really wasn't anything. Dean was getting frustrated and decided to go with his gut. He kicked at the wall and noticed a few of the cracks grow along the wall. The light so bright behind. Megan cried out in pain, grasping her head.

"Holy Shit!" She cried out holding her head. Dean dropped down to her side in a heartbeat. His arms wrapping around her shoulders as she took a few deep breaths and turned to him. "It's... it's working... don't stop... please." Megan begged, tears forming in her eyes as she looked up at Dean. Fresh memories seeped into her mind, flashing feeling and thoughts. It was more than she thought she could take. But it meant they were on the right track.

"Are, are you sure?" Dean asked worried. Megan battered his hands off her taking another deep breath.

"Do it Winchester." She said with a confident smile. Her body was shaking slightly and her sweats were rolling down her face, but she was determined to tough it out. She was too close to give up now. Too damn stubborn.

"Ok baby. Hold on." Dean said standing up and turning to the wall. "You are going down!" Dean smirked as he started to kick more and more at the brick wall. The cracks deepening and widening with each blow of Dean's foot.

* * *

><p>"What's happening?" Sam cried out as the machines started to go crazy. Ruth had just explained to the pair Megan was getting weaker and then suddenly the machines had started to scream at them. Ruth moved quickly to the machine, hitting a few buttons and then pulled a flash light out of her top pocket. She lifted up one of Megan's eye lids and shone the light into her eye with little response. She checked her pulse manually and then adjusted one of the drips in Megan's arm.<p>

"Ruth what's going on?" Bobby asked as the pair of hunters watched helplessly as Ruth tinkered with things and the screaming machines dropped back to the constant beeping.

"She's... something happening to her. It's putting a lot of strain on her heart and lungs... I don't know what's doing it." She said turning to Sam with worry plastered all over her face. "If it doesn't stop soon... I don't think her heart can take it. Sam. I am-" That was all Sam needed to hear. He walked out of the ward and marched straight to his brothers bed. Dean was laid there peacefully. There was no sign of trouble, no look of pain on his face. Sam couldn't take loosing Megan or Dean. They were his family. They had helped him through so much already, he couldn't do this alone.

"Dean, you better damn listen to me!" Sam growled, tugging at his big brothers sleeve. "You get Megan out of there! You hear me Dean? You get Megan to wake up right now! Then you get your ass out of there! She's dying Dean! Dying! Get her out! Now!" Sam growled shaking Dean's arm for good measure. But of course Dean just laid there, in his peaceful state. Moments later Ruth walked in and turned to Sam.

"Sam, I'm sorry-" Ruth started to apologise as she touched his arm. Sam cut her off by pulling her into a hug. His over sized arms wrapping around the smaller woman as he just hugged her. Ruth rubbed his back softly, hoping that she could at least make him feel a little bit better.

"Sorry I walked out on you." Sam mumbled as they pulled apart and it was only then that Ruth saw the water in Sam's eyes. Her heart bled for him in that moment. The absolute pain Sam was feeling.

"It's," Ruth said clearing her throat. "It's ok... I just need to check Dean's vitals then I'll stay by Megan's side until she wakes up." Ruth said clearing her throat. Sam nodded and stepped aside so that Ruth could check on Dean. His vitals were normal, but Ruth put that down to the fact he hadn't been under as long as Megan. The pair walked back to the ward. Sam's arm around Ruth's waist holding her closer to him. Bobby saw the pair walk in and gave them a sad smile. The three of them stood around Megan's bed feeling utterly helpless.

* * *

><p>"Just, one more kick!" Dean cried out as Megan was in floods of tears rocking back and forth. The wall had all but broken. Dean was sure it just needed one more good solid kick and then they would wake up. "Megan? Can you take it?" Dean asked looking over at her.<p>

"Do it already!" Megan cried out, trying in her opinion to sound tough. Her head was cracking open from the inside, inception had nothing on her in that moment. It felt like her chest was being ripped in two and her organs were being smushed into paste. But she was remembering so much. So much of who she was, who Dean was. The last five years, it was all flooding back to her in a tsunami of memories. Dean nodded as his eyes locked on Megans. She wasn't going to make it. Dean was certain, but he wanted her to remember him, them as a couple, before the lights went out. Dean used all his strength and kicked out, breaking the wall with one massive boot. He could hear Megan screaming in the background.

* * *

><p>Everything went black.<p>

* * *

><p>"You want a drink?" Megan's voice bounced around in the darkness. It was so warm, so full of life that it threw Dean for a few seconds. He blinked and the light was back. He was stood in an empty bar with Megan. She was holding up an empty glass and smirking at Dean. "Drink?" She asked again, shaking the glass a little.<p>

"Megan?" Dean asked, speechless to the situation. There stood at a bar was Megan. She wasn't wearing a Breaking Benjamin t-shirt, but rather a white shirt. She didn't look drained, or weak. She just looked like Megan. A smile crossed Dean's lips as he took in her imagine.

"Took you long enough Winchester. Thought I'd be stuck up here forever." Megan smirked as she put the glass down and walked over to Dean. Before he could speak she wrapped her arms around him and pushed him backwards onto a bar stool before giving him the most passionate kiss they had ever shared. This was Megan. This was his Megan. Dean relaxed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her. Pulling her closer to him as they kissed. They pulled apart gasping for a air a little. Megan smirked up at Dean, all the love, all the life, all the light reflecting in her deep chocolate eyes. Dean couldn't believe it, he had Megan. It had worked.

"I've missed you so much baby." Dean whispered as he rested his forehead on hers.

"I've missed you too." She whispered back. "I, kinda know what's been happening though. Had cable up here." Megan joked as she walked back to the bar and poured herself a shot of whiskey. "Course, gotta say, not loving the new big bad." She shrugged before downing the shot. She poured herself another and took a deep breath. The act was working, she thought. She was toughing it out just enough.

"Yeah they are creepy sons of bitches." Dean said walking over to her. Megan turned to Dean and smirked, pouring them both shots.

"You have no idea..." She said holding up her shot. Dean picked his up and they knocked glasses before they both downed the shots.

"You remember then?" Dean asked as he placed the glass on the counter. The look on Megan's face answered the question better than words. "Forget I asked." Dean said grabbing hold of Megan's hand and looked into her eyes. "I am just really glad I've got you back." Dean said kissing Megan's hand.

"Oh god... you're turning into such a girl!" Megan laughed pushing Dean away a little. "Geez, I step out for a few months..." She teased Dean.

"I'm a girl?" Dean cried out, faking a hurt look on his face. Megan shook her head at Dean. She's missed this. Missed being this close to Dean and having him know she was there. Like she said, she'd seen everything. From waking in the hospital room with Cass, to Bobby's house burning down, right to Sam's wedding to Becky. Becky! And what was worse, Megan actually got along with her! She was never going to live that one down. It was so frustrating for the first few weeks she was sure she'd been possessed but as she listened, she understood. It killed her being stuck on the inside watching everything unfold. So many times, she just wanted to reach out and make everything better. A soft word to Sam, a disapproving look to Dean, a gentle nod, these small actions, at the right time, would have saved all of them a world of pain. Megan had a sad smile on her face as she remembered everything. Then suddenly she punched Dean on the arm hard.

"Ow!" Dean cried out rubbing the offending area. "What was that for?" He cried out, turning to her with such a shocked expression.

"Trying to make me leave! Back when Cass went AWOL!" Megan's face fell and she looked down at the glass. "I'm sorry about Cass, Dean." She whispered out, turning to Dean and giving him a sad smile. "I wish, I wish I could have-" Her voice betrayed her and she nearly cried. Dean pulled her to him, wrapping her in his arms as he kissed the top of her head. He knew Megan cared about Cass a lot. He held her close and kissed her hair again.

"It's ok." Dean soothed as they pulled apart. Megan gave him a sad smile and wiped her face. She bit her bottom lip and then smiled up at him. "I'm so glad I've got you back."

"I never really went anywhere, you all just, couldn't see me." Megan shrugged as she back at the bar. It was starting to take her toll on her. She didn't think she would loose control so fast. She wanted everything to be perfect before it happened.

"Well I've got you back now. That's all that matters." Dean smirked at her when the lights flashed. "What was that?" Dean asked looking around.

"What?" Megan asked, trying to sound as innocent as she could. Dean turned back to her and raised his eye brow.

"The lights flashed." Dean said plainly. He looked at her carefully as she just shrugged again.

"I didn't-" Megan started to say when it happened again.

"Ok that's it!" Dean said firmly. "Why don't we wake up and have this conversation face to face?" Dean asked glancing around and noticing a window, with nothing but darkness behind it.

"We are face to face." Megan joked with a smaller smile. Dean turned to her and frowned as he noticed she was starting to look a little rough.

"What's happened?" Dean asked firmly, holding Megan by her shoulders.

"Dean, just wake up." Megan pleaded as she looked into his eyes.

"Why don't you?" Dean asked, worried that it had all been in vein. Megan stood up and smiled at him, stroking his cheek with her fingertips.

"Dean, come on. You know what's happening here." She said so softly, her smile so genuine and her eyes so full of love. Her voice nearly breaking as she tried so hard to keep it together. Dean shook his head as the realisation hit him.

"No. No Megan! You cant die on me now! I've just got you back!" Dean said shaking his head more. He hadn't gone through so much crap. Been hurt so bad, just to have five minutes with his Megan. It was a kick to the jewels he was not going to take this time. The universe owed Dean, and it was time to pay up.

"Dean, it's taken so much out of me to get here." Megan said softly. She sat back down on the stool and pushed her hair out of her face. "I can't stand much longer in here. I just got to let go... And we both know, if your in here when the lights go out..." Her voice cracked as the emotion broke through. This was harder than she thought. Hell she was just planning to make Dean wake up and then go... He'd never know, or rather, she'd never have to hear him plead for her life.

"No." Dean said firmly as his eyes watered up. "No Megan. No, please. I would rather die with you then go on alone."

"Dean," Megan said so sweetly. "You are a complete idiot. What about Sammy? Or Bobby? You know they need you."

"And I need you!" Dean said as the lights flickered again. The pair looked around as the lights became dimmer.

"If you don't go now..." Megan said as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'm just glad you found me."

"Please Megan-" Dean started to say when she stood up and crashed into him. Her lips meeting his as she held him close to her. The kiss of a dying person is always so much more than any words can truly describe. It encompasses more emotions that your brain can't truly process. It's so damn sad, after all it's usually a goodbye, but at the same time, it's a celebration of all the happy times your shared. All the lazy Sundays spent in bed, all the laughs, all the jokes, all the times your on the floor rolling around laughing. Its everything and more.

* * *

><p>Dean's eyes shot open and he was looking up at a hospital ceiling. He jumped out of the bed, his heart pounding in his chest as he ran. His legs weren't fast enough. They should have been fast. Why weren't they faster? He needed to get to her. He needed to make her wake up. She had to wake. She needed to wake up.<p>

"Come on, come on, come on!" Dean cried out as he ran into the room. They were all stood around the hospital bed. Tears rolled down from Sam's eyes, even if had control, he would have let them fall in that moment. Bobby stood at the back of the room, his mouth a little open, the shock clear on his face. None of them were prepared for this to happen. None of them wanted this to happen. Dean cried out again, the raw pain, guilt seeping over every plea. "Come on, come on Megan! Don't, don't do this! Please, god don't do this!" He cried out as the machines horrid single string of noise bleared out. The doctors rushed in and in a motion of blur they used the defibrillator on her body. Lifeless it jumped into the air and landed back onto the bed, still and just as lifeless.

"Please girl..." Bobby's own plea barely above a whisper. Bobby had seen death, literally, and he'd always faced it head on. But in that moment. Seeing her body, just laying there, knowing, knowing deep down there was nothing they could do to help. Bobby did the one thing he hadn't done in a long time. He prayed. He prayed for her life.

"No, no, no!" Dean cried out, the tears streaming down his face as Sam held him back. Sam couldn't believe his eyes. It just wasn't registering with him. The shock was too much. All of them were seasoned hunters, they'd practically seen hell, in two cases they actually had. They had face demons, gods, angels and even a devil, but nothing. Nothing had prepared them for that moment. The doctors work on her for a few more minutes before the lead doctor turned to his junior. The expression was easy to read. This was it.

"Time of death-" The doctor announced and all that could be herd his Dean's cry of pain.

"NO!" The word is so simple, yet filled with so much raw pain. So much love, so much loss. It choked Sam to see his strong big brother, break down in his arms. Dean just fell to the floor, his eyes locked on the lifeless body. Even after seeing his parents die, his baby brother, and countless friends, this one. This one was different. Dean felt like he couldn't breathe the pain was so raw, so fresh. His mind went blank, and eerie calm amongst the storm of the situation. His eyes wouldn't blink, the imagine of her body, laid there, burnt into his mind. This was one of those imagines no amount of alcohol would take away, no matter how many days he lived. And he would try.

"God... you took the wrong one." Bobby muttered as the tears roll off his face. Dean on the floor, rocked back and forth slightly as he just looked at her body. He felt so helpless. So weak. Sam wasn't fairing much better, his legs felt like they were going to give way any moment, and he couldn't tear his eyes off her lifeless body. He knew how wrong this whole situation was. He knew he should have figured it out soon, he should have known faster. Then... then she would be alive. Ruth stood there watching everything. Tears were rolling down her face as the doctors walked past her. She couldn't believe it, in fact, she was damn near determined to disbelieve it. She wiped her face and marched over to Megan's body. It was still warm, warm was a good sign. She started to do compressions on Megan's chest as she thought.

"Bobby! I need you to continue this for me!" Ruth snapped, as her training kicked in. Dean just sat on the floor in a mess, Sam wasn't much better. Neither brother knew what the hell Ruth was doing. "Bobby Singer get your ass here now!" Ruth snapped to Bobby who stood in shock at the far side of the room. Bobby blinked and quickly walked over to Ruth, continuing with the compressions.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, his voice came out like a three year old and it killed Ruth, but she didn't have time to think about his feelings. She routed around in a draw for a set of keys before she ran to a cabinet and pulled out a small jar of clear liquid.

"Guys, you probably don't want to watch this..." Ruth said grabbing the needle and filling it with the liquid. She made sure there was no air and then looked over to Bobby. "They aren't listening to me." Ruth said softly, leaning in so that only Bobby could hear. "I need to put this needle in her chest."

"Just do it." Bobby said looking over at the boys. They were in shock, it didn't matter what any of them would have said or done. They were to focused on their grief to act on it. Ruth took a deep breath and said a silent pray before injecting the needle straight into Megan's heart. She started up the compressions again and continued her praying.

"Come on! Come on! Don't do this!" Ruth almost growled as her eyes darted to the heart monitor. Beep. A noise, Beep, then another. "Thank you God." Ruth cried out as they rhythmic beeping started up once again. Dean was up on his feet in seconds as Megan opened her eyes and gasped for air as if it was her first.

"You did it!" Bobby cried out, a tear rolling down his cheek as he hugged Ruth. Dean couldn't believe it, he held onto Megan's hand, squeezing it. He had her back, Megan was alive. Tears streamed down his face as his smile reached each ear. Megan blinked a few times and looked around confused for a few seconds.

"Why are you all crying?" She choked out.

* * *

><p>"You need to take it easy, they're only letting you out because we promised to make you rest." Dean smirked as the pair walked over to Megan's Camero. Words couldn't describe how glad he was to have her back. Not just Megan, but his Megan. The woman he'd married. The one he loved.<p>

"Oh stop fussing. You're like an old mother hen." Megan teased rolling her eyes as she lent on the car. She had to admit, she liked being back in control. She wanted to run around and stretch and move every limb, just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. But when she saw the way Dean smiled at her, she knew it wasn't a dream.

"I'll old mother hen you." Dean muttered as he kissed her forehead.

"Sam looks like he's gutted to be leaving." Megan said looking over and seeing Sam stood with a small red head nurse. The woman who saved her life.

"Nah." Dean said putting Megan's bags in the boot. She paused and turned to Dean with a questioning look. "He's staying a week." Dean added with a smile.

"Oh." Megan smirked as they watched the pair talking. Ruth, went up on her toes and pulled Sam into a very passionate kiss. At which Dean and Megan looked away.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who's gonna be having some bed rest." Megan joked as they climbed into the car.

* * *

><p>I know the ending feels a little bit of a let down after the build up, sorry. Anyway, if you wanna review, that would be pretty awesome as I've lost all motivation to write at the moment and could do with a pep talk... thanks for reading!<p> 


	14. How To Win Friends And Influence Monster

Hey everyone! So so so very sorry that's it's been so long since I updated! I've moved house, nearly lost my job, then didn't then had to deal with setting up a whole new place! Thanks for everyone who stuck with me and everyone who keeps reviewing! Hope you enjoy this chapter- Sorry if it's a little rushed I just wanted to get something out there =) Enjoy!

* * *

><p>I was sat on the mattress and just watched Dean as he pulled on his t-shirt. I still couldn't believe I was back in the driving seat. I couldn't believe I was the one making the shots and my voice was being herd. It was weird, I had gotten so used to just being the voice in the head, no one knew about or herd. Dean turned to me as his head popped out from the top of his t-shirt.<p>

"Hey, what ya thinking?" He asked as he bobbed down in front of me and gave me that big warm smile I'd been dying to see for months. I reached out and put my hand on his cheek, stroking it softly. Dean put his hand over mine and smiled more.

"Just glad to be back." I admitted, my eyes going from his beautiful emerald green eyes to his full kissable lips. I lent forward and kissed him softly on the lips, smiling at the same time. Dean kissed back, more eager, his tongue making my mouth open as he gently pushed me backwards onto the mattress. Dean straddled me as I laid on my back and smiled up to my husband. He smirked back at me with that damn sexy cheeky school boy grin and dropped on top of me, kissing my lips once more. My hands raced up and down his back enjoying the curve of his spine and the way it met his backside.

"I love you." Dean said looking straight into my eyes as we broke for air. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek.

"I love you too." I smirked looking up at him, my heart racing as I laid under him. Dean lent down to kiss me again.

"Whoa! Get... get a sign or something!" Sam cried out walking into the room. Dean groaned as he pushed himself up off me and held out his hand for me to take. "Sorry guys, we're heading out... Bobby wanted me to let you know." Sam said looking anywhere but at me and Dean. I smirked at Dean shaking my head a little as he helped me up.

"Great timing Sam." Dean grunted as he walked over to his bag and picked it up.

"I'm sorry." Sam cried out holding his hands in the air. I grabbed my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

"Don't worry, we were getting up anyway." I joked, glancing at Dean.

"I wasn't getting up." He muttered as we walked out the room.

* * *

><p>We drove all day to reach Hammonton, New Jersey to check out a case. We pulled up to a abandoned house. Sam and Dean started to try and sort out the electrics while Bobby and I unloaded the cars. I grabbed mine and Dean's duffel bags and closed the boot to my Camero.<p>

"How you feeling girl? Think your ready for a hunt?" Bobby asked as I turned to him. He looked worried for me and I knew why. A couple of weeks ago I was on my death bed, literally. I was on the verge of becoming trapped in my own mind and dying, then I came back and I hadn't really spent that long resting. Unless you count the time I spent in bed with Dean. You probably don't do you? Anyway my point, I was back on my feet and Bobby was worried I was rushing things.

"Sure." I nodded hitching my bag onto my shoulder. "I feel great." I said looking him dead in the eyes. He didn't look to convinced.

"Girl, you can take it easy, you don't have to prove anything to any of us." He added as he grabbed a few things and we walked into the house.

"Bobby I'm not trying to prove anything." I sighed as we walked into the living room and dumped our stuff. Dean was stood at the fuse box messing with the wires, he turned to us with a raised eyebrow.

"Everything ok?" He asked looking from me to Bobby.

"Yeah." I sighed putting our bags down. I went back out and grabbed some more stuff, Bobby caught me before I could go back in the house.

"I just want you to be safe." Bobby said putting his hands on my shoulders. "You three are all I got left now."

"I know Bobby." I said softly, squeezing one of his hands. "I promise, if I started to feel off, I will let you guys take the hunt and I'll just research the crap out of it. Deal?" I asked with a smirk.

"Deal." Bobby smirked back moving so that I could get in the house. I dropped the rest of the stuff in my hands as Sam walked down the stairs with gloves on.  
>"Did you strip enough wire?" Sam asked as he walked into the living.<p>

"Yes, I stripped enough wire." Dean sighed looking at his baby brother. I put a light on the table just in case and lent on it watching the two guys work.

"All right." Sam nodded attaching the cable to the stripped wires, electricity crackled and the lights came on. Dean smirked at me and Sam.

"See? Told you." He added walking over to me and wrapping his arms around my waist. Bobby walked into the house as Sam sat at the table. Me, Dean and Bobby were stood around it. "Well, isn't this cozy?" Dean asked leaning on my shoulder.

"Yeah. Well, Motel 6 just ain't leaving the light on any more." Sam sighed looking at Dean.

"Well, I'm taking a page out of Frank Devereaux's Bible on this. Everybody's out to get you- paranoia is just plain common sense." Bobby sighed. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Weeks, guys. Weeks." Dean said standing up straight, but kept his arms around my waist. "We've been living with cold showers, cold Hot Pockets, cold freaking everything. I mean, this is the bottom that we're living in. You guys get that, right?" He asked looking at all of us.

"What else can we do?" I asked with a shrug, turning the best I could to see Dean.

"How many big mouths are out there, running card traces, like Chet, or hunting us down God knows what ways? No, now's not the time to be laying our bed rolls out on the grid. Not if we can help it." Bobby added when suddenly sparks flew and all the lights went out. Sam turned on the lamp I put on the table.

"That's... just great." Dean said sarcastically. "This is stupid. Our quality of life is crap. We got Purgatory's least wanted everywhere, and we're on our third _The World's Screwed_ issue in, what, three years? We've steered the bus away from the cliff twice already." Dean said walking over to the couch and unrolling his sleeping bag before sitting on it and pulling a beer out of the cool box.

"Someone's got to do it." Sam said plainly.

"What if the bus wants to go over the cliff?" Dean asked looking at all of us.

"You think the world wants to end?" Sam asked confused.

"I think that if we didn't take its belt and all its pens away each year that, yeah, the whole enchilada woulda offed itself already." Dean admitted with a nod. He was being serious and I didn't really know what to say.

"Stop trying to wrestle with the big picture, son. You're gonna hurt your head." Bobby sighed. Dean shook his head and laid down on the couch. "So, what's the guff?" Bobby asked as both me and him sat around the table with Sam.

"Well, uh, there have been a rash of sightings all over the southern pine barrens- a strange, fast-moving, human-like creature. Locals even have a name for it." Sam explained passing out a print out of an internet search. It said Jersey Devil Reported and had a weird picture with this thing with wings and webbed feet.

"The Jersey Devil? I thought that was just local tall-tale crap." Bobby scoffed shaking his head as he looked up at Sam.

"The area's history of sightings goes back more than two centuries. Some accounts gave it bat wings, others horns, a...a tail." Sam explained passing us another print out.

"The Jersey Devil is a legendary creature or cryptid said to inhabit the Pine Barrens of Southern New Jersey. The creature is often described as a flying biped with hooves, but there are many variations. To date the most raucous reports of the Jersey Devil was in 1909 where hundred of people had testified to the sightings. There had been many sightings of the creature since 1909. Recently a farmer in Jersey had reported disturbances and killing of his livestock..." I read from the page and looked up at the guys confused.

"And, uh, oh yeah, a horse's head." Sam pointed to another picture.

"Of course, the sketch looks more like a Chewbacca head." Dean added from the couch.

"Could be a shape shifter kind of thing?" I shrugged having no idea what a Jersey Devil would look like.

"Sounds kind of mixed up." Bobby stated as we looked at the different pictures.

"Yeah, kind of like it should be fighting a Japanese robot." Dean added smirking.

"Well, mixed up or not, it sounds like it might just have a body count." Sam sighed passing us both a newspaper article to read.

"_Camping high season harshed by human burrito_?" Bobby looked at Sam and Dean utterly confused.

"Yeah. Something hung a camper up in a tree, then ate him alive right through his sleeping bag. His wife hasn't been seen, either. Plus, there have been four other missing persons reported in the last three weeks. State troopers - get this - are saying it's a rogue bear." Sam added and I smirked shaking my head.

"Awesome." I joked.

"Yeah, of course, when was the last time you saw a bear string up its own piñata?" Dean asked looking over at us.

"Some thing's out there in the woods. Hey, we're going honest to goodness wilderness hunting. I haven't used my .30-30 in a while." Bobby said actually getting excited about having to go out in the woods and hunt something.

"Okay, Davey Crockett, well, safari's gonna have to wait till tomorrow and after our suit-and-tie dance. We'll make sure this is not just some backwoods crack head who likes to roll glampers." Dean sighed before taking a sip of his beer.

"What the hell's a glamper?" Bobby asked screwing his face up.

"Sam?" Dean asked closing his eyes.

"High-end camper. TV, A.C., Wi-Fi. Back to nature, zero inconvenience." Sam explained and Bobby just looked utterly disgusted by the thought of them.

"That's idiotic." Bobby blurted out.

"Yeah. Some people just don't know how to live." Sam added and I smirked at him while Bobby rolled his eyes.

* * *

><p>Me and Bobby went into the morgue to check out the latest body that had been found while Sam and Dean went to talk to the Ranger who found it. We were led to the morgue and then left to examine the body.<p>

"Wow, that's a mess." I said pulling on some rubber gloves.

"Geez, what the hell happened to this thing?" Bobby asked poking it with a stick. "I mean, it's hardly a cadaver." He cried out.

"Well, I guess we should see if we can find anything useful." I sighed with a small smile to Bobby. "You wanna cut?" I asked holding the scalpel.

"Oh no, enjoy." Bobby smirked as he looked at some of the bite marks on the flesh.

"Thanks." I muttered holding my breath as I stuck the blade in.

"You're the one who said they were ready to hunt again." Bobby added smirking at me.

"Hunt, not cut open..." I sighed rolling my eyes. It didn't take long to open the cadaver up because it had been ripped apart anyway. I routed around inside and tried to see what was missing and what had just been turned to smushed organs.

"You find anything?" Bobby asked as I took a deep breath after stepping away from the cadaver.

"Well yeah... I found a ventricle and some of bits, no claw marks that look like it could be a werewolf. So at least I narrowed it down a little, you?" I asked pulling off the gloves and throwing them in the nearest bin.

"Yeah, these bite marks, take a look." Bobby said holding up some flap of flesh. I walked over and took a closer look. "What do you see?" He asked me.

"Bite marks..." I shrugged turning to him.

"But the size, there too small to be Leviathans." Bobby pointed out.

"Oh, that's some great news. Those things... I actually hate them." I admitted with a shiver.

"You remember them?" Bobby asked watching me closely.

"I... So the fact there's a cadaver means it isn't a Wendigo either, right?" I asked changing the topic. I remember everything. I remembered Purgatory. I was trying my best to repress it and at least for the last couple of weeks it was working. He stood there with a worried look on his face. I knew Bobby too well to know he was just going to leave it.

"Girl, do you remember them?" Bobby asked looking me dead in the eyes. He was so worried for me, it actually made me feel bad for avoiding the question.

"Look, I...I remember." I said looking down at the cadaver. I couldn't face his eyes.

"Remember?" Bobby asked softly.

"Yes, I remember everything." I said meeting his eyes. Bobby gave me the saddest of smiles and looked liked someone had kicked his puppy. "I close my eyes to sleep and it's there. It's always there." I admitted barely above a whisper.

"Have you told-" Bobby started to ask.

"No! No and you can't!" I snapped seriously. "I can't let them know. I mean, they have enough to deal with. I can handle this." I said looking at Bobby he didn't look impressed.

"That's what Sam said." Bobby grumbled.

"I'm not Sam," I sighed. "Bobby, I can handle it. I promise."

"You need to talk to someone. It you cant keep it locked up inside girl." Bobby said shaking his head a little.

"I'm talking to you, aren't I? I mean doesn't that count?" I asked with a small smile.

"You know it's not the same." Bobby frowned.

"Why not? I mean you're always gonna be here to talk to. I just don't want to add to the pile of crap on Dean's shoulders right now." I sighed.

"Girl..." Bobby sighed shaking his head a little as he caved. "You'll be the death of me one day." He smiled softly.

"So we can keep it between us for now?" I asked giving him a genuine smile.

"Yeah, now let's go find those eijets and tell them what we found." Bobby said pulling off his gloves too.

* * *

><p>We got to Biggerson's Sizzlin' Grill and Bar and spotted Sam and Dean talking to the ranger who had called in the missing bodies. They spotted us and walked over to us.<p>

"So?" Dean asked as he reached us. I glanced at Bobby and shook my head.

"Well, we took a look at the cadaver -what's left of it. Not a happy camper. Don't have any stats on a Jersey Devil, but the bite radius on the vic's wounds -it's too small for a Leviathan." Bobby explained.

"The guys still got a ventricle, and some bits, so it's not a werewolf attack." I added plainly.

"And a wendigo don't leave no scraps." Bobby finished.

"Hmm. Lunch?" Dean asked thinking about it.

"Starving." Bobby replied rubbing his stomach a little. I smirked, only Bobby could be starving after delving into what all could be called mush of human. Dean stopped a male waiter.

"Hey! Uh, Brandon. We grab a booth?" Dean asked checking the guys name badge.

"Hey, uh, douchewad, a hostess will seat you. Do I look like a freaking hostess?" The guy asked giving us a lot of attitude.

"Do you want to look like a hostess?" Dean asked looking confused. I glanced at Sam and sniggered a little. Brandon did not look impressed and just walked away from us.

"That didn't really make sense, what you... said." Sam said looking at Dean.

"What was that?" Dean asked throwing his arms out to us.

"I sure hope we don't get Brandon's section." Bobby muttered as we watched Brandon walk away.

Unfortunately we did get put in the rather charming Brandon's area. Man the guy was worse than Bobby on the three day of a vampire hunt. Brandon brought our food and added his delightful colour commentary to our choices.  
>"Sidewinder soup and salad combo goes to Big Bird." He said passing Sam his food, then he turned to Dean. "TDK slammer to Ken Doll." At which Dean really didn't seem impressed. Then it was my turn. "A simple salad for Mary Poppins," Then he passed Bobby his plate. "And a little heart-smart for creepy uncle."<p>

"What is your problem?" Dean asked looking at Brandon in disbelief.

"You are my problem!" Brandon shouted at Dean before storming off. We were all sat there a little shocked.

"Oh, Brandon's got his flare all up in a bunch." Bobby commented as he walked off.

"Yeah. There goes his 18%." Sam joked as we started to eat our food.

"Anyway, chief ranger- I don't think he believes in the Jersey Devil." Dean explained.

"Oh, oh, by the way, did he seem a little, uh, stoned to you?" Sam asked looking at me and Bobby.

"Ranger Rick? Yeah. Definitely growing his own on the back 40 and smoking all the profits." Dean said before biting into his sandwich.

"He did seem to think that there was something-" Sam started to say when Dean cut him off.

"Oh, that is good sandwich!" Dean said talking with his mouthful.

"What the hell did you get?" Bobby asked confused. Dean turned the card on the table around so that Bobby could see it.

"New Pepperjack Turducken Slammer -limited time only." Dean explained still with a mouthful of food.

"Bunch of birds shoved up inside each other. Shouldn't play God like that." Bobby said pulling a face.

"Hey, don't look at me sideways from that, that Chinese chicken geezer salad there, okay? This is awesome. Like the perfect storm of your top-three edible birds." Dean said as he went to take another massive bite. I turned to Sam and just rolled my eyes.

"Wow, I married a charmer..." I sighed sharing a smirk with Sam.

"All right, any ways, um... The ranger did seem to think there was something out in Wharton Forest." Sam explained as Dean just continued to fall in love with his sandwich.

"Well, then I'd say it's safari time." Bobby admitted. Suddenly we herd voices being raised.

"She's big-boned!" A man cried out.

"Look at her! You're telling me she's not fat?" Brandon asked shouting at the guy.

"Hey." The guy replied.

"Up yours, Mike. Shove it right up yours!" Brandon yelled taking off his apron, throwing it on the floor and storming out of the restaurant.

"Well, anyway, back to bigger and better things." Dean smirked as he went to continue to eat his sandwich.

* * *

><p>We went back to the house and changed into more comfortable clothes. We packed up a few back packs with stuff we might need and loaded up our rifles. Bobby was actually really excited about going into the woods. We gathered our things and headed out into the woods. Bobby was taking point leading us through the forest tracking things. It was really impressive watching him track. Bobby paused and pulled off a tuft of hair from a bush.<br>"Couple of bucks. Head-butting over turf probably. Pretty sure the other fella won." Bobby said before getting up and continuing. We all glanced at each other impressed with Bobby.

"I guess I forgot. Before you were a hunter, you were actually a...hunter." Sam explained as we walked further.

"Yeah, well, we shot our dinner when I was a kid." Bobby explained as we walked.

"You used to take us hunting. Remember? Dad had a case, he'd just dump us on you. Shoot, you must have taught us most of the outdoor tracking we know." Dean smirked as we walked.

"Yeah, what I could get to stick. I never could get you little grubs to pull a trigger on a single deer." Bobby explained with a smile.

"You're talking about Bambi, man." Dean said shaking his head.

"You don't shoot Bambi, jackass," Bobby paused as Dean turned to him looking surprised. "You shoot Bambi's mother." He added and the pair shared a smirk. We continued walking when we herd flies. We looked around and found a very bloody arm hanging from a tree.

"Well, looks like we found Phil." Dean sighed as we all looked at it.

It took Ranger Rick a fair few hours to get out to us in the woods. It was dark by the time he showed. We met him as he pulled up his truck. He climbed out and I knew what Sam meant about him being stoned.

"Special agents. Listen, I got your call. But I'm not sure I got what you were saying." Ranger Rick said confused and kind of stoned. Dean shook his head and pointed towards the arm with his flash light.

"Hey. I think we found Phil." Ranger Rick said calmly.

"That's what I said." Dean smirked to him. I just rolled my eyes.

"Uh, I should probably call this in." Rick said throwing his thumb back to the truck but he just stood there.

"Yeah." I nodded and turned to Sam with wide eyes. I couldn't believe how stoned the guy was. "Is this guy for real?" I mouthed to Sam who just nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. Solid move, Rick." Sam added shaking his head as Ranger Rick walked to his car to call it in.

"Uh, this is Ranger Evans up at Acher's Point. Come in. Uh, repeat. This is Chief Ranger Evans." Ranger Rick said into the radio. I thought I herd something moving in the darkness. But then again, it could have been my imagination playing up on me. I had noticed in the dark, I herd scratching, I put it down to the Leviathan crap.

"Chief Ranger, go ahead." The woman on the radio replied.

"I have a situation out at Acher's Point." Ranger Rick explained.

"Ranger, I think we've got company." Bobby said as the guys picked up on the noise as well.

"Yeah? Who's that?" Ranger Rick asked happy that someone else might be there; suddenly something dragged him off into the trees. It was fast, really fast.

"Ranger!" I cried out as we rushed to where the Ranger had been stood.

"Ranger Evans! Ranger!" Sam yelled as we looked up at the trees with our flash lights for any sign of the guy. We could hear the guy being pulled through the tree tops but we just couldn't see him. Whatever had him, was strong and fast.

"It's got him up in the trees. Lights off." Bobby ordered as we all looked up in the trees. Bobby turned his own flash light off.

"What?" Dean asked lowering his rifle.

"Wait, Bobby, you think that's really a good idea?" Sam asked as both me and him lowered our rifles.

"Shut up, shut off, and listen." Bobby barked. We didn't need telling twice. We turned off our lights and listened to the sounds. "Damn thing's eating Rick." Bobby said as we all raised our rifles in the general direction the noise was coming from.

"Man, I liked Rick." Dean sighed sounding bummed out. Me, Sam and Bobby all gave Dean a disbelieved look before going back to try and find the damn thing. Bobby closed his eyes and took a few slow deep breathes before firing. A second later a hominid like creature fell to the floor holding onto Ranger Ricks arm.

"Wow. Nice shot, Bobby." Dean said shocked and impressed.

"That is amazing." I added just as shocked and impressed.

"Seriously." Sam added in the same tone.

"We all got our gifts." Bobby shrugged softly.

"What about the rest of Ranger Rick?" Dean asked looking back up to the trees.

"Ranger called in his 10-20. His own will find him. We got crap to do." Bobby sighed looking down at the bloody arm of Ranger Rick.

* * *

><p>We got hominid thing back to the abandoned house we were stopping at and Sam and Dean laid it out on the table.<br>"Built like a supermodel, but the thing was strong. That's for damn sure. Carried a full-grown man up a tree in nothing flat." Bobby sighed as we all stood around looking at the thing.

"But, it only took one bullet to bring it down." Sam said confused.

"And not even a silver bullet, just a bullet-bullet." Dean shrugged. Suddenly as if on queue the damn thing jumped up and stood on the table. Without a moments hesitation we all pulled our hand guns and emptied a clip into the damn thing before it fell back on the table. Sam and Dean let out a couple of heavy breathes as I just reloaded my hand gun.

"First one must have just stunned it." Bobby sighed glancing at us.

"We sure it's dead now then?" I asked looking at the thing for any sign of life.

"Pretty sure girl." Bobby replied with a nod.

"All right, well, let's check its hulk pants for some ID." Dean sighed walking over and checking it's pockets, pulling out a wallet. The wallet was covered in some kind of goo. I mean that was the best word I had for it anyway.

"Oh, that is just gonna ruin the leather." Dean said examining the goo and it's effect on the wallet. Sam took the wallet from Dean giving him a disapproving look. I glanced at Bobby with a confused look.

"Are you feeling okay?" Bobby asked as I folded my arms over my chest.

"Yeah, I feel great." Dean replied with a smile.

"Are you sure?" I asked carefully.

"Yeah, yeah!" Dean smiled at me.

"Gerald Browder, uh, lived here in town, 5'9", brown hair and blue eyes... 235 pounds." Sam read out as we all turned to the body on the table. No way in a million years was that body 235 pounds.

"Whoa." Dean said sounding astonished.

"Well, apparently, he's lost a little pudge." Bobby added.

"Maybe it's a-a lap-band side effect." Dean joked running his hands across his chest. None of us laughed we just gave Dean a weird look. Bobby picked up and stick and poked inside one of the bullet holes before pulling out it out. The stick was covered in the same grey goo that was on the wallet.

"What the hell? I think we better have a look under Gerald's hood." Bobby said glancing at us. We grabbed some gloves, and forceps and dived into the creature. The smell was worse than the smell of the body we were looking at in the medical examiners.

"For the record- this is the most disgusting thing I've hunted." I said trying not to breath through my nose. Sam nodded as we looked at the organs.

"God! Its organs are swimming in the stuff." Bobby cried out as he tried not to smell the vile scent too. Dean walked in, pouring himself a glass of whiskey. He'd been acting more and more weird since we went to the forest and I was starting to wonder what was wrong with him.

"You guys getting hungry? I'm hungry." Dean announced looking at us.

"Are you... can you not smell this?" I asked shocked and Dean just shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

"I'm hungry." He added. I turned to Sam and he shrugged, it looked like I wasn't the only one picking up on Dean's behaviour.

"What's that?" Sam asked returning to examine the body. I looked and nearly gipped.

"His stomach. For a guy on a diet, Gerry here packed it in pretty good." Bobby said slicing it open. The thing was packed full of things.

"That's human right there." Sam said pointing to something.

"That's fresh Rick. Let's see. Plus... a pine cone? Pack of gum in the wrapper." Bobby said pulling things out and popping them into the bucket.

"That's gotta be older. Maybe, maybe Ranger Phil or the camper?" I suggested pointing to some of the body parts packed into his stomach.

"What's that?" Bobby asked pointing to something.

"Looks like a- yeah, that's a- that's a cat's head." Sam explained as he pulled out a cat's head and placed it in the bucket with the rest of the stomachs contents.

"A glamper or two is one thing, but you got to be damn hungry to eat a cat's head." Bobby scoffed as we stood over the body.

"Mm-hmm." Sam said pulling a face at the smell.

"Well, lookit here. I'm no Dr. Oz, but..." Bobby said pulling out a large, spongy, black object from the body. "I think that's his adrenal glands." Bobby said astonished at the gland.

"Okay. And?" Sam asked confused.

"Well... it's meant to be the size of a hotel bar of soap. Not to mention bright orange. That is just..." I explained as me, Bobby and Sam winced at the horrible smell.

"Ooh! All right, that might help explain the strength. Um, but whatever this thing is, it's not the Jersey Devil, but it sure as hell ain't Gerald Browder any more." Sam explained as we all tried to hide the smell. It was damn nasty. Me and Bobby nodded in agreement.

"Okay, guys, seriously. It's time for dinner?" Dean suddenly asked and we all turned to him shocked. He genuinely just look hungry and didn't care that we were autopsying a monster that smelt worse than anything I'd ever smelt.

* * *

><p>We went back to the Biggerson place to get Dean some food. He ordered that weird triple bird sandwich and the rest of us just got coffees. Sam read out the missing persons report for the guy we had laying in out kitchen.<br>"Gerald Browder, 35, self-employed. Air-conditioning repairman. Missing person number three. Disappeared eight days ago." Sam explained as he pulled up his web site. I took a glance and couldn't believe that it was the same guy. Something really bad had happened to him and what was worse is that we had no idea what.

"Well, that explains all the people who got eaten in the last eight days." Bobby commented before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah. Question is, what happened to him?" Sam asked looking at us.

"I've never seen anything like this before." I said shaking my head and taking a sip of my coffee. Dean was sat opposite me and started to take larger bites of his sandwich groaning as he ate. I just sat opposite him with a blank expression. I'd herd Dean make that kind noise before... not necessary at food though. I glanced to Bobby who shrugged his shoulders.

"Dean. Uh, so, what do you think?" Sam asked his big brother who was in love with his food.

"I'm not that worried about it." Dean said with a mouth full of food.

"Excuse me?" Bobby asked as surprised as me and Sam was. This wasn't like Dean at all.

"That's funny, right? I could give two shakes of a rat's ass. Is that right? Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else? Eh." Dean shrugged his shoulders before going back to his sandwich. Sam started to look around at the other customers eating the same sandwich.

"Dean? You feeling...um... yourself?" I asked carefully watching him closely.

"Yeah! I'm great." He replied with another mouth full of food.

"Give me that." Sam said snatching Dean's sandwich out of his hands.

"Whoa, whoa! Why?" Dean cried out like a kid who's had their ice cream taken off them.

"There's some funky chicken in the TDK Slammer, ain't there?" Bobby asked as we all looked at the sandwich.

"Yeah." Sam replied before taking a sniff and recoiling in disgust. Needless to say we grabbed the sandwich, Dean and headed back to the house to check it out. Bobby put the sandwich wrapped in a foil swan down on a plate on the table as Dean went to stand near the sink.

"This is stupid. My sandwich didn't do anything. I don't know what you think you're gonna find." Dean said watching us as Sam unwrapped his food.

"There's something wrong with you, Dean." Bobby said and Dean just pulled a face as he climbed onto the counter to sit.

"Are you kidding? I'm fine! I - I actually feel great. The best I've felt in a couple months. Cass? Black goo? I don't even care any more. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care. I just want my damn slammer back." Dean smirked as I walked over to him. I looked slightly worried because I'd never seen Dean, well stoned and his total lack of caring about anything, it threw me.

"Dean." I said putting my hand on his leg.

"No really Megan, I'm, I am super! I mean I just, just don't care any more! It's amazing! Maybe you guys should have a sandwich?" Dean smirked at us.

"Dude, you are completely stoned, just like Ranger Rick was." Sam said shaking his head at his big brother.

"Just like the dinner rush back at Biggerson's. And everybody's loving the Turducken." Bobby said as we all looked at the sandwich.

"I think you pissed off my sandwich." Dean commented as grey goo seeped out of the meat. It was disgusting. "That- that's in me?" Dean asked looking at us as more goo poured out.

"O-only half of it." Sam said with a shrug.

"Does that snot look familiar?" Bobby asked looking at me and Sam.

"Least we have an idea of what's happening now." I said plainly.

"Okay, so whatever turned Gerry Browder into a pumpkin head... and is currently turning Dean into an idiot-" Sam said.

"I'm right here. Right here." Dean said pointing to himself.

"Is in the Turducken Slammer at Biggerson's." Bobby said ignoring Dean.

"Yeah." I sighed looking at the meat.

"It's in the meat." Bobby stated.

"If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke." Dean replied and we all just looked at him gone out. He was so stoned. Bobby told us to get ready to head out. He wanted us to find out where Biggerson's got their meat from and hopefully track it to the source. I was stood in the living room packing up a bag of supplies when Sam walked in.

"Hey, where's Dean?" Sam asked walking over to me.

"Bobby's making him drink some coffee." I shrugged. "He's so stoned." I smirked a little.

"He needs it." Sam sighed sitting on the arm of the sofa. "How are you doing?" He asked looking at me.

"Me?" I asked confused.

"Yeah Megan, how are you?" Sam asked smiling at me. I paused and thought about it for a few seconds.

"I am... fine." I shrugged. It wasn't a total lie, I was coping, thus fine.

"This is your first hunt back. I just... I mean it's getting more complicated by the second. You sure you can handle it?" Sam asked throwing me the big puppy dog eyes.

"I can handle it Sam." I sighed picking up my back pack. Sam opened his mouth to say something else when Dean walked in holding a cup of coffee.

"Bobby's mean." Dean muttered like a three year old. "He wont let me have my sandwich back."

"Dude, you do remember the goo right?" Sam asked shaking his head as I walked over to him.

"Yeah, but I mean... I've already ate half of it, so what's the harm?" Dean shrugged.

"You'll turn into the thing in the kitchen baby." I said walking over to him. "It's not cool."

"But I want my sandwich!" Dean pouted.

"I tell you what, after we go track the meat I'll buy you a sandwich, ok?" I asked giving Dean a big smile.

"Ok! I'll get my stuff." Dean smirked as he walked off. I turned to Sam and he looked worried.

"I'm not going to buy him one Sam. It was just to make him get ready." I replied dryly before walking out the room.

* * *

><p>We got to the back of the Biggerson building and Dean was passed out in the back snoring his head off. Sam and Bobby were sat up front and I was kind of sat in the middle.<p>

"How's he doing?" Sam asked glancing at Dean.

"He's sleeping it off. Tryptophan coma." Bobby said watching the place.

"So, you think he's okay?" Sam asked glancing at me and Bobby. I gave Sam a confused look.

"Yeah, he's all right." Bobby said plainly.

"Good. So you don't worry about him?" Sam asked.

"What do you mean? Before the Turducken?" Bobby asked looking at Sam.

"Yeah. Yeah, I kind of mean more like, uh... more like ever since my head broke... Megan died... and we lost Cass. I mean, you ever feel like he's- he's going through the same motions but he's not the same Dean, you know?" Sam asked and I looked at the pair.

"How could he be?" Bobby asked confused.

"Right, yeah, but what if-" Sam started to say.

"What if what, Sam? You know, you worry about him. All he does is worry about you. Who's left to live their own life here? The two of you- aren't you full up just playing Snuffleupagus with the Devil all the live long?" Bobby asked looking at Sam.

"I don't know, Bobby. Seeing Lucifer's fine with me." Sam said softly.

"Excuse me?" I asked as I sat up so that I could talk to the pair.

"Come again?" Bobby asked at the same time.

"Look, I'm not saying it's fun. I mean, to be honest with you, I,I kind of see it as the best-case scenario. I mean," Sam said pressing the cut on his hand. "At least all my craze's under one umbrella, you know? I kind of know what I'm dealing with. A lot of people got it worse." Sam explained. I turned to Bobby and he shared a stunned look with me.

"You always were one deep little son of a bitch." Bobby said breaking the silence. I smiled at him as a lorry came to deliver some meat.

"Wait, wait, wait. Here we go." Sam said as we watched the lorry driver unload some meat and then start to drive away.

"Well, I guess we follow him." Bobby shrugged starting his engine.

* * *

><p>We fallowed the truck to the warehouse and watched the place for any sign of what the hell was happening. Dean had woke up and we were once again feeding him coffee like there was no tomorrow. He didn't seem stoned any more and I for one was great full for it.<p>

"That's weird, right? I mean, national franchise like Biggerson's getting meat from a place that looks like it wholesale's Hong Kong knockoffs." Sam said as he watched the driver get out with his binoculars.

"Okay. Yeah. It's a little weird." Dean replied sipping on his coffee.

"All right, well, I guess we wait till they close up shop, go take a look around?" Sam asked glancing at everyone.

"Hang on." Bobby said as a car pulled up to the warehouse and Edgar climbed out. The truck driver from before came out to meet him.

"No. Edgar." Sam said looking at all of us. I felt Dean's eyes fall on me and I turned to meet them. I don't think there was any way for me to hide my fear for those creatures.

"Leviathans." Dean said as we watched Edgar help Brandon whose head is covered with a hood out of the boot of his car and into the warehouse. "Son of a bitch." Dean added shaking his head.

"What the hell is going on?" Bobby asked utterly confused. Sam went to go check out the outside of the warehouse and left me with Bobby and Dean. Dean sat in the passenger side seat and I sat behind Bobby. There was a thick silence between us and I knew the pair of them wanted to ask if I was going to be ok with the Leviathans.

"Just ask." I said checking my handgun for the fifth time. Bobby sighed as he turned to Dean.

"You remember it?" Dean asked watching me closely. I glanced to Bobby who held a stone face.

"No, not really." I lied and then looked at my gun. "Doesn't mean I don't remember fighting the bastards on Earth. I still remember everything I did." I explained looking back up at the guys.

"You remember freezing when you first fought them?" Bobby asked me.

"Yes sir. I remember looking at Cass and seeing what they really look like. Teeth and all." I added loading the clip in the gun.

"Are you going to freeze again?" Dean asked me. I paused and looked him dead in the eyes. I had no idea. They scared me. They really scared me and there was no forgetting that fact.

"I honestly don't know." I replied honestly. Dean looked over to Bobby with a worried look.

"Maybe you should sit this one out then girl." Bobby said throwing me the puppy dog eyes.

"If I sit this one out, then I'll have to sit out every single fight." I replied cocking my gun. "I need to go and fight. I can't sit back and worry about you guys."

"You feel like your gonna freeze, you tell me, straight away. You hear me?" Dean asked me firmly.

"Yes." I said before going back to playing with my gun.

* * *

><p>Bobby thought it would be best if I got some sleep while things were quiet. I couldn't sleep, but I pretended; I was curled in the back seat with my head resting on the back of Bobby's head rest. I could hear everything that was happening.<p>

"_There's nothing happening back here at all._" Sam said over speaker phone.

"Yeah, okay, Sam. Well, they're pretty dug in, so why don't you finish circling and head on back?" Bobby replied.

"_Right._" Sam said before Bobby hung up.

"How's your head?" Bobby asked Dean and there was a small pause.

"Well, I think the slammer's pretty much wore off. In between that and the 20 cups of coffee, I'm nicely tense and alarmed." Dean joked.

"I wasn't talking about that." Bobby replied.

"Oh, Bobby, don't- don't go all Sigmund Freud on me right now, okay? I just got drugged by a sandwich." Dean muttered sulking slightly. I herd Bobby turn to check to see if I was a sleep before speaking again.

"I want to talk about your new party line." Bobby said plainly.

"Party? What are you talking about? I don't even vote." Dean asked confused.

"_The world's a suicide case. We save it, it just steals more pills_?" Bobby asked sarcastically.

"Bobby, I'm here, okay? I'm on the case. What's the problem?" Dean grumbled.

"I've seen a lot of hunters live and die. You're starting to talk like one of the dead ones, Dean." Bobby said seriously.

"No, I'm talking the way a person talks when they've had it, when they can't figure out why they used to think all this mattered." Dean bit back angry at Bobby.

"Oh, you poor, sorry... You're not a person." Bobby said shaking his head.

"Thanks." Dean replied sarcastically.

"Come on, now. You tried to hang it up and be a person with Lisa and Ben. And now here you are with a mean old coot and a van full of guns. That ain't person behaviour, son. You're a hunter, meaning you're whatever the job you're doing today. Now, you get a case of the Anne Sextons, some thing's gonna come up behind you and rip your fool head off. Now, you find your reasons to get back in the game. I don't care if it's love or spite or a ten-dollar bet. I've been to enough funerals. I mean it. You die before me, and I'll kill you." Bobby said seriously. There was a long pause and I really wanted to peek an eye open to see what was happening between the pair.

"We need to scrape some money together, get you a condo or something." Dean finally said breaking the silence as Sam got into the back of the van 'waking' me up.

"Hey. Some thing's up." Sam said as I moved so that we could all see what was happening. Two black cars pulled up as Edgar and Dr Gaines came out of the building. A man in a very sharp suit climbed out of the second car.

"Well, I'll be a squirrel in a skirt. It's Dick frigging Roman." Bobby said as we watched the men.

"What? Who the hell is Dick frigging Roman?" Dean asked utterly confused.

"Billionaire Dick Roman, seen here at a recent press conference, has been on the corporate-takeover warpath in the last several months and shows no signs of relenting. _I believe in good old American values, like unlimited growth. But it's like I always say - if you want to win, then you got to be the shark. And a shark's got to eat. Well, that's a great question. Yes, we have made new acquisitions. I don't believe in hostile takeovers. I believe in merging... and coming out on top._" Dick Roman said as the report went on. "Whether at the helm of his America's cup-winning yacht or one of his Fortune 500 companies, Roman has never shied away from the spotlight. Roman's record-breaking series of motivational seminars, _When in Rome_, have outsold every other money-making program on the market. A vocal member of the NRA and a steadfast supporter of the second amendment, Roman has started attracting some conservative political attention, as well." Then the picture flicked to a political commentator. "Roman is ruthless, but good-looking. I think he'll make a great candidate." Then back to Dick Roman. "_Another great question. No, I am not running for political office at this time. But I do have a number-one best-seller._"

"Holy crap. What the hell is that?" Dean asked as he looked at the screen.

"That's one of the top 50 most powerful men in America, Dean." Sam pointed out dryly.

"Says here top 35 as of last month. Now it's all making sense. Remember when Crowley kept going on about hating Dick? I thought he was just being general. Pfft!" Dean said as he closed the lid on the laptop.

"Well, if the Leviathan got to him, then that means they're playing on a much bigger board than we were thinking." Bobby said sounding troubled.

"So what, then? I mean, we can't exactly out-gun them." Sam added to the troubling feeling.

"No, but we got the drop on them. Means we got a chance to figure out what these guys are really doing here." Bobby said plainly as he started to assemble some surveillance equipment.

"Whoa. Where'd you get that mother?" Dean asked utterly shocked.

"It's on loan from Frank's big brother collection. It'll pick up vocal vibrations from window glass at half a mile. It's time to find out what these ugly bastards are up to." Bobby smirked as he finished building it.

"Well I'm going with you." I said plainly.

"Meg, do you think it's such a-" Dean started to say as he and Sam looked worried.

"We're only spying on them. It ain't like we're planning to storm the damn place. If the girl wants to come with me, she can come." Bobby said defending me.

"Bobby I didn't mean-" Dean said trying to back track.

"Don't worry about it just, let's get this over with." Bobby replied plainly.

* * *

><p>We headed to the top of the building to get a better view of the office we thought Dick would go to. We had everything set up and were talking to Sam and Dean over the speaker phone.<p>

"_Our side's still dead, Bobby. Anything with you?_" Sam asked over the phone.

"Yeah, same here. We got- hold on. Yeah, we got movement - our side, second floor, meeting room." Bobby replied as we saw Dick enter the room with a woman, Dr Gaines and Edgar.

"_And I'll reschedule with the Senator for lunch Tuesday. You can deal with the archdiocese in the afternoon._" The voices were a little soft but we could make out everything they were saying. Both me and Bobby were sat there with headphones on and binoculars watching everything.

"_Fine._" Dick replied.

"_Dick, please, let me explain to you what our program has to offer._" Dr Gaines seemed to be grovelling for his job.

"_No. Let me explain why we're shutting your program down._" Dick said firmly.

"_We're shutting it down? No, you can't-_" Dr Gaines protested.

"_I'm shutting it down because of the one golden rule. Do you know it?_" Dick asked as he sat on the edge of his desk.

"_Yes. _Don't make the papers. _And I promise that -_" Dr Gaines rattled off.

"_No, the golden rule is there's no such thing as monsters. Anything stirs their little pots to the contrary- very bad for our plans. So, how can I use your mistake to communicate this to all your co-workers?_" Dick asked.

"_Listen, sir, I will do anything. I will give anything to make this right._" Dr Gaines begged.

"_I know you will._" Dick said with a smile. The woman opened a briefcase and took out a folded paper item. Dr Gaines looked at Edgar who just shrugged.

"_You're bibbing me?_" Dr Gaines asked sounding scared. He sat down as the woman put the item, a bib, around his neck.

"_Do you know what you can give us, doctor? Your example._" Dick explained. Dr Gaines lifted up his hand to his face and pointed his fingers to his mouth.

"_What's happening now?_" Dean asked over the phone as I glanced at Bobby neither of us could believe what we were seeing.

"Wait." Bobby said softly.

"_Now, Doc. It's time._" Dick said as Dr Gaines mouth changed.

"Is he really...?" I asked shocked.

"Looks like it. Now I have officially seen it all." Bobby said looking just as shocked.

"_Guys, what is it?_" Sam asked confused.

"He's making the doctor eat himself." I said softly.

"_What?_" Dean asked confused.

"He's-" Bobby started to say when the truck driver from before appeared right in front of us and knocked Bobby out with one punch. I jumped to my feet, pulling my gun.

"Stay back!" I said aiming for the middle of his head.

"_Bobby? Megan? What's going on? Guys, hang on we're coming!_" I herd the guys shout down the phone. The Leviathan took a step closer and I held my ground.

"I mean it! One more step and I shoot your head off!" I cried out.

"You know that wont do anything!" The trucker said as his face changed. I felt the total fear make my blood run ice cold as I stood there and squeezed the trigger. I fired off the whole clip into the Leviathans head and as we all knew, it didn't do a damn thing.

"That wasn't very nice." He growled before charging at me, picking me up and then tossing me off the side of the building. I tried to grab out to anything, but I was just falling to the cold hard floor. I landed with the biggest thud in the world. The shock of the impact rolled through my body as I clamped my eyes closed against the growing pain.

* * *

><p>I could hear voices talking to me and someone shaking me. At first it was all a blur but as I opened my eyes and the bright day light nearly blinded me things came back into sharp focus.<p>

"Megan! Thank god, can you move?" Dean asked looking terrified.

"Yeah... why?" I asked sitting up and feeling a little stiff. I was sat on the ground and I couldn't remember how I had got there. The last thing I remember is watching the good doctor bib himself.

"We don't have much time, can you fight?" Dean asked helping me onto my feet. Apart from the amnesia and bit of a stiff shoulder I felt fine.

"I can fight, where's Bobby?" I asked looking around as Sam walked over to us with big chemical cleaning bottles.

"The Leviathans have him. Just fallow my lead ok?" Dean asked watching me carefully, like he thought I was going to fall down or something.

"Sure." I said still confused by everything. We stormed the warehouse with the cleaning bottles, spraying anyone who got in our way, which included the Edgar and the body guards to Dick.

* * *

><p>We worked our way through the guards spraying anything that moved really. I stuck with Dean as we sprayed the damn things. It felt good to hurt them, even if it didn't really kill them, it helped.<p>

"Where's Sam?" I asked looking around and realising I hadn't seen him in a while.

"I don't-" Dean started to say when we were Dick Roman talking.

"Sam... That is not how we communicate from a place of yes. That was bracing. Where'd you kids find this stuff?" Dick asked and then we herd gun shoots ring out. We took off running in that direction. We showed just in time to see Dick turning to Bobby.

"Hey! That's mine." Dick said and Dean didn't hesitate to throw his cleaning liquid onto Dick from behind. It started to burn him.

"Go! Go!" Dean said taking my hand in his as we ran out of the room.

"Would you stop it with that stuff?" Dick asked amused as we ran out of the place. Dean started the van and pulled up out side the warehouse.

"Damn it, where's Bobby?" Sam cried out as if on queue Bobby ran out of the warehouse. I opened the side door for him to jump.

"Bobby! Come on! Come on! Come on!" Sam cried out as Dick appeared at the warehouse door with his gun drawn.

"Bobby move it!" I cried out, holding my arm out to pull him in.

"Go! Go!" Bobby cried out as I pulled him in. Dick started to shoot at the van as Bobby closed the door. Dean started to drive away as Dick shot out at the van three more times. I froze, in the darkness. I froze.

"Son of a bitch! I'm glad you got in. He almost took your freaking head off." Dean said as he drove.

"Hey, Bobby, your hat." Sam said holding up Bobby hat. I just looked down at Bobby in total shock. I couldn't speak, or move. "Bobby? Oh, God. Bobby? Bobby?" Sam cried out and the pair turned to us.

"Bobby?" Dean added as he saw what had happened.

* * *

><p>I really hope you like this chapter and haven't all forgotten about little old me! Please review and let me know what you think! thanks! =)<p> 


	15. Deaths Door

I'd seen people die, died myself a few times too, but sat in the back of the van, I just couldn't move. I felt like all my muscles were made out of stone and no matter how hard I tried to rip my eyes away from Bobby I just couldn't. I was frozen in shock. _Please god... don't let this be real..._

"Bobby? Bobby? Hey, hey, hey hey. Hold on." Sam moved to the back seat to check on Bobby, I think the guys had given up trying to make me respond.

"Sam, is he dead?" Dean cried out as he drove.

"I'm checking." Sam cried out, checking Bobby's neck for any sign of life.

"Is he dead?" Dean snapped.

"Just drive, Dean! Bobby!" Sam said shaking Bobby a little.

"You gotta talk to me, Sam!" Dean said as he drove, he kept looking back to us. The boys seemed to be moving faster than I could keep up, almost as if I wasn't really there. Everything was a blur of voices and movement, yet my eyes were glued on Bobby.

"All right, he's breathing. There's a pulse." Sam replied as Dean pulled out his phone and called 911.

"Keep him upright. Stop the bleeding." Dean barked.

"I'm not an idiot, Dean! I know first aid for a friggin' bullet to the head!" Sam cried out as he sat Bobby up. "Megan? Megan I need you to help me? Can you hear me?" Sam asked looking at me. In the background I could hear Dean talking on the phone. "Megan!" Sam snapped at me and I blinked for the first time in years it felt like. I blinked a few more times and moved forward to help Sam.

"What do I need to do?" I asked, my voice horse and hardly there. My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up. I had only been in shock a few times in my life, but when it happened I fell apart completely.

"I need you to help keep him sat up right. I'll keep the pressure on, ok?" Sam asked glancing from me to Bobby.

"Sure. Sure." I mumbled. I was still kind of in shock but I was in hunters shock. It meant I went through all the actions I needed to do to survive, but I couldn't talk or even explain anything to anyone.

"I need the nearest trauma centre!" Dean snapped down the phone.

"Hold on. Hold on." Sam said all the worry and fear clear in his voice. I felt the warm, rich blood seep onto my hands and as I looked down something stirred within me, a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. I closed my eyes and pressed down hard onto Bobby. _Wake up, please let me wake up any minute. Please._

"What's the address?" Dean snapped before throwing the phone aside. "All right, Bobby, hang in there." Dean said as he accelerated.

* * *

><p>We got Bobby to the hospital and the doctors placed Bobby onto a bed and wheeled him into a cubical. Still everything was moving so fast, it was hard to keep track of what they were doing to him.<br>"Page the neurosurgeon on call. Tell OR to put electives on hold." The doctor told a nurse as we fallowed the group of doctors and nurses around Bobby. "Move trauma 2 to bed 7 as soon as it's clean."

"Gunshot wound to the right frontal area, no exit wound found. Breathing spontaneously. Respiratory rate 18 and shallow. RST at 120. BP 90 over 60. GCS 5." The nurse started to explain to the doctor while we stood in shock watching them work on Bobby.

"Push 80 grams of Mannitol over 30. Prep for intubation." The Doctor replied.

"Air entry clear to bases." The Nurse stated after checking Bobby's throat.

"Let's get a central line in here now." The Doctor announced as we stood in shock, there was no better words for it. We, all three of us, were in total shock. Bobby was our rock, he wasn't supposed to get hurt, he was meant to live forever. Constantly calling us eijets and slapping us round the back of the head.

"What's happening? Please just tell us-" Sam pleaded with the staff working on Bobby. My eyes were glued on his lifeless body, a silent pray passing my lips as I watched helplessly.

"Get them out of here." The doctor barked at the nurse who turned to us with a sympathetic smile. I hated that smile. I'd seen it way too many times in my life, inside I felt a little piece of me break under that smile.

"Sorry. You need to stay out of their way." She said ushering us backwards while another nurse cut open Bobby's shirt.

"That's our uncle." Dean cried out pointing to Bobby. Dean's voice betrayed his true feelings of worry and sadness.

"You got to stay back." The nurse said more firmly.

"What are they doing?" Sam asked throwing her the big famous Winchester puppy dog eyes. The nurse caved under the look, pausing mid step so that we could still see what they were doing to Bobby.

"We need to get him stable." The nurse admitted sighing softly as she looked between Sam and Dean.

"Okay, when are you gonna take the bullet out?" Dean asked seriously.

"If we can get the swelling down, if it's in a place we can get to, if-" The nurse was explaining when Sam cut her off.

"If he even lives that long." Sam stated and the nurse gave us all a sad look before pulling the curtains shut across the door to the trauma room. Dean let out a exhausted sigh as he turned to face me and Sam.

"How did this happen? How did we get separated from Bobby?" Dean sighed out as he turned to face us. I looked to the floor, I had no answer and I felt like breaking down.

"Dean we've done all we can, we just need to-" Sam started to say softly.

"Need to what Sam? Sit here and watch him die?" Dean snapped at Sam and I looked up to see the hurt in Sam's expression. Dean shook his head looking away. "I, I didn't mean... I'm just..." Dean let his sentence die away. We knew exactly what he was feeling, we were all feeling it -helpless. Sam pushed the hair out of his face and turned to face me.

"Megan, how did you get Bobby's blood that high onto your shoulder?" Sam asked sounding confused.

"What? What blood?" I asked slightly dazed as we all looked at my shoulder. My leather jacket had a thick damp stain on the top of the shoulder. I put my hand and felt the blood on it, as I pulled my hand away I started to feel dizzy. I felt my knees go weak in a matter of seconds and the ground came rushing towards me. I felt Dean's arms wrap around my waist and catch me as I fell.

"She's been shot! Get someone Sammy!" Dean barked to Sam as Dean helped me down onto a chair and took a look at the stain himself. "When did you get shot?" He asked as I closed my eyes to stop the world from spinning.

"I... I don't... I'm shot?" I asked still very dazed. I felt a rush of heat wash over me and I was sure I was about to empty my stomach onto Dean.

"I think that falls done more damage." Dean said softly, brushing some loose hair away from my eyes. "Hey, you stay with me ok?" He said looking around for Sam.

"Sure... not planning on going anywhere." I smirked as I started to feel cold. I started to shiver slightly and I felt Dean hold me tighter.

* * *

><p>Within ten minutes I was laid on a bed in another cubical. The nurse had helped me remove my top and Dean was stood holding onto my hand. I refused to let him go.<p>

"Do you remember being shot?" The doctor asked flashing a light into my eyes. The light was bright and it hurt my eyes, I tried to move but I felt so weak.

"I don't... Bobby was shot." I said feeling really confused with my surroundings. The nurse and doctor shared a look. Sure enough there was plenty of blood on my shoulder.

"We're gonna need to clean this up fast. That's a lot of blood." The doctor said glancing to the nurse as he started to wipe away the blood.

"Excuse me, but I need you to step outside." The nurse said to Dean.

"I'm her husband!" Dean cried out, still holding my hand tight.

"I know sir, but we might need to operate in here, with you here there's risk of infection. Please, I promise to get you the moment you can come back in." The nurse said to Dean when suddenly I felt a sharp stinging pain in my shoulder. I cried out as the pain got worse.

"What the?" The doctor said speechlessly holding up his hands.

"What? What's happening?" Dean demanded to then looked down at my shoulder. "What?" He asked less shocked but just as confused as the doctor and nurse in the room.

"How, how is this happening doctor?" The nurse asked as the pain got really intense then stopped in a blink.

"Adrenaline?" The doctor asked in shock, everyone looked shocked.

"The bullet, it just... it came out by itself, it's... I mean I never..." The nurse stumbled over her words.

"She's still bleeding, we need to stitch her up." The doctor snapped out of his daze and started to stitch me up. They gave me some fluids and let Sam come back in.

"I want you to rest for a couple of hours, they we'll see about letting you go." The doctor said writing something on the chart.

"Do you know how our Uncle's doing?" Dean asked squeezing my hand.

"I don't, I'm sorry." The doctor said, before nodding to both brothers and walking out.

"What happened?" Sam asked looking from me to Dean.

"I was shot." I said plainly, but sounding like a three year old. The fluids they gave me had some pretty strong painkillers in them.

"And the bullet came out by itself." Dean added giving me a look. It was a mixture of annoyed and confused all rolled into one.

"By itself?" Sam asked in disbelief, he looked from Dean to me.

"Yeah, the docs are calling it an adrenaline response due to shock." Dean said looking down at me. "You know what this means right?" He asked looking down at me.

"Umm, maybe." I said biting my lip a little, the pain killers they gave me had kicked in and I felt like a three year old. I tried my best to look all sweet and innocent.

"You mean, she'd, your a-" Sam started to say connecting the dots.

"Wolf again. Let's hope the docs don't want to run any blood tests on her, I just don't know how we are going to explain the fact the stitches will have healed by the time she gets discharged." Dean sighed running a hand over his face.

"I'm sleepy." I announced to the pair who just turned to me and sighed.

"Get some sleep then baby." Dean said kissing my forehead as my head became heavy.

* * *

><p><em>It's pitch black, the darkest night you could ever imagine. It's almost like being blind, but at least when your blind other sense kick in. The damp coldness seeps into your skin, a bone chilling cold that freezes you from the inside out. Hell has nothing on this place, your worst imagination couldn't possibly create a world like this. And you are completely alone. Well that's what they want you to think. They want you scared, alone, second guessing your own name. The pitch blackness isn't the worst, neither is the cold, it's the noise. The constant creeping noises. They surround you, yet at the same time you feel alone, isolated. They taunt you, constantly, just out of reach, just out of the realm of your senses, but you know they're there. You know it. And that's scarier than anything they can do to you. At least that's what you keep telling yourself.<em>

I woke in a cold sweat in the hospital bed, it was still dark out, but I was alone in the room. For a good five minutes my heart raced as I had to remind myself that I was on Earth and things were usually as simple as they look. I noticed my top folded on the side, I climbed off the bed and pulled on the top, noticing the ache in my shoulder, I paused to look at it and remembered why I was in the hospital, and why Bobby was here too.

"Oh God, please, let Bobby be ok... Please." I sighed to myself as I got my things together and opened the door, my instincts kicked in and I walked down to where Sam and Dean was. Dean was stood looking out into nothing and Sam was leaning on a wall close by. Both of them looked like hell, I didn't even have to guess, I knew they hadn't slept. I knew they would have spent the night second guessing everything that happened with Dick and just what they could have done to get Bobby out safe.

"Hey guys, we herd anything yet?" I asked softly making the pair snap their heads over to me. I gave them a small smile and pushed my hands into my pockets.

"Megan, your up, you ok?" Sam asked pulling me into a hug, it was tighter than normal, but I knew why. He needed to hug someone, have them tell him it was going to be ok because there was only so much optimism one person could keep up alone. I wrapped my arms tightly around Sam and buried my head into his chest as we hugged. I felt a wave of grief hit me mixed with guilt and deep sadness. I wasn't sure if Bobby had kicked the bucket or if Sam was just being Sam and feeling everything so much. I gasped as we pulled apart, my eyes welling up as I gave him a sad smile.

"He's been touch and go most of the night." Sam said reassuringly, "But he's still with us."

"For now." Dean added and I turned to him, the anger was the first thing that I picked up from Dean, then the guilt and the grief. He was just plain mad at everything and anything. With good reason, he was trying to hold everything together and it was all falling down by his ears.

"I...I'm sorry I didn't keep a better look out for him." I stated as I walked over to Dean. He stared at me for a few minutes before looking away.

"How's your shoulder?" Dean asked changing the topic before the guilt consumed him.

"Hurts a little, but I'm fine." I admitted rolling the shoulder a little.

"How long have you known?" Dean asked as his eyes met mine. I shrugged, I knew what the question was, but the answer was difficult.

"I had some idea back when I woke from the dream root. But it wasn't until I woke up here I knew." I admitted softly.

"Why didn't you say something?" Sam asked softly. I turned to him and put my hands into my pockets.

"We had enough to deal with, me, maybe turning again, it's like a stuck tape, I knew how to cope with it." I admitted trying to defend myself from the boys.

"Like when you fell off the roof of the building?" Dean asked annoyed and I turned back to him. He was giving me his best poker face but his emotions were rolling off him. I think he was trying to pick a fight with me so he could be mad at someone for Bobby.

"I didn't know, I can't even remember what happened..." I admitted honestly, the whole thing was still blurry to me.

"You freeze again?" Dean asked coldly. A knot in my stomach formed as his eyes drilled into my soul.

"Dean, come on man, now is not the time." Sam sighed softly.

"No I think it is Sammy. I think if she hadn't froze on the top of the building and fought, Bobby wouldn't have been taken to Dick and we wouldn't be in this situation. So, did you freeze again?" Dean asked me bitterly. He was pissed and I was the unlucky bastard getting the brunt of it.

"I don't know Dean. But whatever happened, I would never put Bobby's life in danger, and we both know that." I said keeping my voice calm. Dean scoffed at me and tuned away. I took a deep breath and went to lean on the wall next to Sam. I knew Dean needed to get mad, he had to snap at someone, it was his way. Normally I would have been fine with it, but he wasn't the only one worried for Bobby. It hurt that he accused me of freezing and indirectly getting Bobby hurt. We stood in silence for a few minutes until the curtains to Bobby's room opened and a doctor walked out.  
>"He's, uh, stable for the moment. Just have to see." The doctor informed us as we moved closer to him. I caught Dean looking into Bobby's room. I noticed they had changed him and that he had a bandage around his head and put in a ventilator, if it wasn't for that I would have said he was just sleeping. Dean slowly turned to me and Sam and looked terrified. There was a few times in my life that I had seen Dean look like that, look like a lost little child. I prayed there was something we could do, but we all knew all we could do was wait and hope. <em>Live Bobby you old drunk bastard, live.<em>

* * *

><p>We were stood just outside Bobby's room watching him, talking with the doctor from the night. Bobby had made it through the night, and I was just praying he would wake up.<br>"So, there's nothing else we can do?" Sam asked as we all looked from Bobby to the doctor.

"I'm sorry. We just have to wait. We'll see if the swelling goes down." The doctor explained looking at all three of us in turn. He gave me the same sympathetic smile doctors do when there's nothing else they can do.

"How long?" Dean asked clearing his throat.

"It's hard to say in cases like this." The Doctor admitted.

"Well, he's lasted this long. That's something, right?" Dean asked running a hand over his face. Both brothers looked exhausted and I knew neither would get any rest until they knew that Bobby was going to be ok.

"Well, yes. Listen – the bullet didn't shatter. Only one hemisphere of his brain was injured. These are all positive things. But...I don't want to give you false hope here. He's far from out of the woods. Most of the time, cases like this..." The doctor trailed off stealing a glance back at Bobby in the bed.

"They die." Sam said coldly. My heart caught in my throat at the mear mention that Bobby might die. It was one thing thinking it, another hearing it out loud.

"Right now it comes down to him. I'll keep you updated." The doctor said before walking away.

"He will make it out of this guys. He's strong." I said softly as the doctor walked away. Sam nodded half heartily, and if I was honest, I didn't even believe myself. I'd never known anyone survive a gun shot to the head. The only person who did was Luke/Channing and he turned back into a psycho killer Alpha werewolf.

"I-" Dean sighed looking broken when a man in a suit walked over to us.

"Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt. Is one of you Robert Singer's next of kin?" The man asked looking at all three of us. Dean nodded and walked off with the man as I just stood watching them talk.

"Hey you want a warm drink?" Sam asked as we watched the man talking with Dean.

"Yeah, get us all coffees please." I asked giving Sam a sad smile and rubbing his arm.

"He's just dealing, don't take it to heart, ok?" Sam asked me. I turned to him and gave him a warm smile.

"I know, go, get a bite to eat, I'll call if anything changes." I admitted and pushed Sam away. I took a deep breath as I turned and listened into the conversation Dean was having with the guy. In the space of talking to Sam I could sense thing were getting heated between Dean and the guy.

"Listen to me. I'm gonna say this once. He's not gonna die. It's one bullet. He's gonna be fine because he's always fine." Dean said threw grit teeth.

"I apologize." The man stuttered over his words and Dean got up and backed him up against a wall.

"Why are you talking to me like he's gonna die, huh? I do my job! Do your jobs! Save him!" Dean growled at the smaller man.

"Of course they're doing everything they can." The man said panicked. I started to move but I knew I wouldn't get there in time. Dean punched the glass covering a sign right next to the man's head. The man went drip white and froze to the spot.

"Walk away from me. Now!" Dean barked pointing towards me without looking. The man ran past me and I hurried to fallow Dean out of the hospital. Dean was walking faster than me, he was already pounding on a tinted window of a black car when I reached the top of the steps.

"What, did you come here to finish the job?" Dean asked as I rushed down the steps seeing Dick Roman inside. "Yeah? Well, come on. Right here, right now, out in the open, you and me, Dick Roman." Dean said backing away and holding his hands out to the people around who were recording it with their phones.

"Dean." I said softly as I reached him, but he didn't seem to care.

"See? Deciding to jump a famous guy ain't all upside. You can kill me right now – you want to see it online." Dean smirked as he lent closer to the car.

"Maybe you should go check on that friend of yours. He can't be feeling too frisky right about now. I'm a very good shot." Dick smirked at us. "How is your shoulder?" Dick asked turning to me. I tensed up and glared at the man, the anger Dean was giving off, overtook and fear I was feeling, and in that moment I was thankful for it.

"We're coming for you, and not just to hurt you – to kill you. You understand me?" Dean threatened, he was so mad that it was taking my breath away. It took everything inside me not to snap, change and rip apart the car Dick was in and have a good go at him. But it was what Dean needed, he needed to yell, get pissed at someone, and finally he got chance to do it to the right person.

"Come on, Dean. I can't be killed." Dick smirked smugly.

"You're gonna wish you could, then." Dean said threw grit teeth.

"That's some conviction. You'd really crush it on the motivational circuit." Dick laughed looking at Dean.

"You're either laughing because you're scared or you're laughing because you're stupid. I'll see you soon, Dick." Dean said pushing away from the car as Dick was driven away.

* * *

><p>We sat on a bench just outside the entrance of the hospital in silence, I could still feel how guilt ridden Dean was feeling, how he was holding on by a thread, waiting for it to snap and let him fall into the abyss. He rubbed his palms into his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.<p>

"I'm really messing this up." He said barely above a whisper.

"You're not." I said softly turning to face him, Dean was looking out into nothing.

"He's... he's like a father to me. I just... after my dad died, it was Bobby. He always treated me like a son, not a solider. He was the one I went to when I couldn't go on. He... he can't go, not yet. I still need him. I need his help." Dean explained still looking out into noting. I bit back the emotions of sadness Dean was giving off and cleared my throat. I knew tears were forming in my eyes but there wasn't anything I could do about them. Not in that moment.

"We don't know what's going to happen Dean." I said softly, putting my hand onto his knee and rubbing it slowly. It almost made Dean jump as he looked at my hand and then into my eyes.

"I'm sorry." He said with a broke voice. His eyes, they were the saddest shade of green I had seen in such a long time. It cut me up inside seeing him like that.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for. If... if I was faster, if I hadn't... if I knew what happened up there, I should have done more. Anything." I admitted sadly, glancing to our hands.

"I know you didn't freeze." Dean admitted putting his hand over mine.

"Didn't I? I mean how can you be sure?" I asked confused and upset, letting my own emotions rise to the surface.

"You fired your gun, I know that much." Dean admitted squeezing my hand. "And it was Bobby, you wouldn't let anyone hurt him."

"Dean... I just..." I wanted to tell him that I couldn't face the Leviathans, that the fear installed in me in Purgatory had pushed me to my limits. I looked into his green eyes and realised now wasn't the time. "I don't know what's going to happen to Bobby, but you, and Sam, you're not alone. I'll be here, not matter how crabby you get." I tried to joke but it came out deflated.

"Thank you Megan." Dean said pulling me into a hug.

* * *

><p>Dean went to get a coffee while I sat in with Bobby. He was now laid in bed, motionless, just there. But I could feel him, feel his emotions. He was struggling, fighting against something that scared the crap out of him. I took Bobby's hand and closed my eyes, hoping, trying to pick up and what was scaring him so badly that he felt he had to run away from it. I concentrated as hard as I could and thought for a split second I saw something. I thought I saw a man with a pocket watch looking for Bobby, but the image was so fast that I wasn't sure. I opened my eyes and sighed.<p>

"Just what the hell are you running from Bobby Singer?" I asked rubbing my thumb over his hand. A massive wave a guilt hit me from him and I was completely confused. "Push past all this Bobby, come on, wake up. Find us, find me and Sam and Dean. Listen to my voice Bobby, come on, come back." Bobby didn't move, nothing changed, he was still sending the guilty vibes to me. I sighed squeezing his hand. "You know... you die and I swear to god I'll... I will loose it. I'm on the edge Bobby. I, I can't fight the Leviathans, I mean, I remember ok. I remember every damn second of that hell. I remember the flesh being peeled from my skin, the damp, the darkness. I close my eyes and I'm right back there." I felt the tears fall onto my hand and brushed them away. "I can't tell Dean, he's... I mean he's on his last bit of rope. Sam is a walking mess, I think, he thinks I haven't noticed, but I can tell. We barely functioning at the best of times Bobby, you keep us going. You have always kept us together, not me, not Sam, not Dean, you. We need you old man. I need you. You've become, your a father to me, you watched over me for so long, longer then the boys know. I can't do this without you, I can't keep them together without you." The tears rolled down my cheeks as the lump in my throat got harder to ignore. "Wake, please, wake up." I begged when I herd loud voices outside Bobby's room. I got up and walked out to see Sam and Dean arguing.  
>"No, we're not gonna have that conversation!" Dean snapped as I walked out to them, trying to hide the fact I had been crying.<p>

"Well, we need to." Sam replied sighing.

"He's not gonna die." Dean snapped as I walked over to them.

"He might." Sam admitted looking guilty at me and Dean. I knew he was only preparing for the worst, but I knew at the same time Dean didn't need to hear. He knew all to well that it could happen.

"Sam." Dean said firmly.

"Dean, listen – we need to brace ourselves." Sam said throwing him the puppy dog eyes then turning to me for help.

"Why?" Dean asked looking from Sam to me. Both brothers were feeling helpless and frustrated.

"Because it's real." Sam said firmly.

"What do you want to do? You want to hug and – and say we made it through it when Dad died? We've been through enough." Dean said, the emotion breaking in his voice as he turned and walked away from me and Sam. Dean reached the door and turned back to us, the raw pain was clear on his face as he turned and walked out of the hospital. Sam let out a heavy sigh, shaking slightly.

"I know you meant well Sam, but Dean knows deep down." I admitted rubbing his arm. "He just, he's not good at coping with these things."

"I know, I just... we should make plans. Do something. You know?" Sam asked as he looked down at me, almost in tears himself.

"I know Sammy. I do. Just, let me go talk to Dean, you going to be ok?" I asked rubbing his forearm.

"Yeah, yeah, go talk to him... I'll just sit down... there." Sam said pointing to a chair behind him.

"You sure Sam?" I asked softly.

"Yeah go." Sam said waving me off as he made his way to the chair. I sighed softly to myself, I was already feeling like I was letting everything fall apart. I took one last look at and Sam and made my way outside to find Dean again.

* * *

><p>Sure enough I found him Dean lent against a car in the parking lot. The place was surprisingly empty and I said a silent prayer because I knew how crazy Dean could get when he lost someone. I walked over to him and gave me a sad smile.<p>

"He's not going to die!" Dean said pointing to the hospital. "Sammy's got it all wrong!"

"Dean." I said softly, but Dean went into a full rant.

"He isn't Megan! He wouldn't leave us! Bobby wouldn't pack up shop and leave us when he knows how much we all need him ok?" Dean's voice began to crack more. "Bobby isn't my dad, he wouldn't quit on us, he wont leave me. I mean he knows how much I need him! He knows I can't do this without him. He wont leave, I can't, he..." Dean started to break down there in the parking lot. The tears fell down his cheeks as he shook his head. "Bobby isn't going to die. Megan, he can't, Bobby isn't going to die... please... please tell me he isn't going to die." Dean begged as he tried his best to pull himself together. Looking at him, it was like a dagger to the guts. I wanted so badly to take his pain away. I wanted to desperately to tell him that Bobby would be ok, that he'd wake up, they'd take the bullet out and we'd all live a happy long life. But I couldn't lie to Dean, I wouldn't. I closed the gap between us and wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him into a hug. Dean sobbed onto my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me, holding onto me like I was the last solid thing in creation. I rubbed his back as I felt Dean break down on me.

"Let it out Dean." I said softly holding him closer to myself.

"He can't die... I don't know what to do if I loose him, I really... I need him." Dean said, his voice coming out as a broken, horse thing, a cross between a child and heartache.

"We all need him." I said softly holding back my own tears, I knew breaking down in front of Dean wouldn't help anything, no matter how much I needed to do it.

* * *

><p>We sat out there for at least an hour, while Dean got control over his emotions again.<p>

"You doing ok?" I asked softly as Dean wiped his face. He sighed and stood up turning to face me with a hand held out.

"Yeah, I just needed to vent... Look I'm sorry I've been a jackass to you and Sammy." Dean sighed as I took his hand and he pulled me to my feet.

"I know, it's ok. I mean, I get it." I admitted with a small smile. Dean pulled me into a tight hug.

"I just don't know what I'm going to do if we loose him." Dean admitted burying his head into my neck.

"We'll keep fighting. Just like we did for Ellen and Jo, Payton, Rufus, Karl, and every other soul that's fallen since we got into this mess. We'll fight for them." I sighed as we pulled out of the hug and Dean kissed me softly on the lips.

"I love you." He whispered as he rested his forehead against mine.

"I love you too." I said with a small smile. Once he was ready we walked back into the hospital to find nurse's trying to move Bobby. They were busy fussing round him and Sam was stood to the side watching it all.

"What's happening?" I asked looking at the nurses.

"They're going to try and take the bullet out." Sam said smiling at me Dean.

"What? You can do that now?" Dean asked in shock looking at the nurses.

"He's showing signs of responsiveness. If you want to see him, I'd squeeze in there quick." One of the nurses said smiling at us. It was the first piece of good news we had got in what felt like a lifetime. We rushed into Bobby's room huddling down one side of the bed, Sam, then me and Dean stood behind me. It was great news that they were going to take the bullet out, it gave us all hope that he was going to wake up. We all stood there looking at him, none of us knew really what to say, or do.

"Sorry. We need to get moving." One of the nurses said looking at us.

"Right. Yeah." Sam said looking at us then down to Bobby. "Hey, um... Bobby, um, hey..." Sam said taking Bobby's hand. "Just... thanks... for everything." Sam said giving Bobby's hand a small pat.  
>"All right. Please step back." The nurse said with a small smile.<p>

"Yeah." Dean replied taking my shoulders and pulling me back with him. As we all started to move back Bobby raised his hand and opened his eyes.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop. His eyes are open." Sam cried out as a heavy weight lifted from my heart.

"Bobby?" Dean asked surprised.

"Hey." Sam smiled putting his hand on Bobby's shoulders.

"Been waiting for you to wake up." I smirked softly. Bobby removed his respirator covering his mouth and nose, as Sam took Bobby's hand again.

"What – don't talk. Don't talk. A pen – I-" Dean said looking around the room and grabbing Bobby's chart that had a pen in, from the bottom of his bed. "Here. Here, here, here." Dean said passing the pen to Sam, who in turn gave it to Bobby.

"What is it?" I asked as Bobby wrote 45489 on Sam's hand while he took deep laboured breathes. Once Bobby had finished he just smiled at all of us.

"Eijets." Bobby managed to say before his head fell back onto the pillow and he closed his eyes. Suddenly the machines around him started to beep and I felt sick. Bobby was dying right in front of our eyes and there wasn't a single thing we could do to help.

"Bobby? Hey!" Dean cried out as the nurse hit the panic button and asked us to leave the room.

* * *

><p>We stood just outside the room and could see everything they were doing to revive him. The machines were still doing they horrible death screech. Dean had hold of one of my hands and Sam had hold of the other. I stood in the middle of the two Winchesters and closed my eyes, saying one last big prayer. <em>God, don't you dare let this man die! After all the cleaning up of your mess he's done! Don't you dare take him away from us. From me. We need him. I need him. Don't... don't let this happen... please...<em>

As I prayed I felt a sudden feeling of calmness wash over me. I knew it was coming from Bobby and I knew what it meant. _No! No come on Bobby, now isn't your time... Please... _As the feeling hit me I saw an image, a clear image appear in my mind and I understood.

_Bobby was walking into the kitchen, he looked exhausted but proud of himself. He sighed softly before Dean yelled._ _  
>"You micro-brewing in there, or what? Come on – we got a lot of Chuck Norris to get through. Let's go!" Dean cried from the living room. Bobby smirked to himself as he opened the fridge and took out four beers. Suddenly a man appeared, the man I saw before, the man with the pocket watch. I knew who he was, he was a Reaper.<em>

"_Nice move, waking up like that." The Reaper said tipping his head to Bobby._

"_Motivation's a mother." Bobby smirked slightly sarcastically._

"_You know why it's dark out there, don't you? This house – it's your last island, everything else melted by that bullet – gone. This is your last chance to come with me and move on. For your own good, Bobby, let go. They'll be okay without you." The Reaper explained holding his hand out to Bobby._

"_Last memory, huh?" Bobby asked and the Reaper nodded. "Glad I saved the best for last." Bobby replied before walking back into the living. As he walked in Dean sat down with the remote in his hands. I was squeezed on the edge with Sam in the middle eating popcorn. I remembered the night well and it made me smile a little._

_"All right, scoot, jerk-face. Show your elders some respect." Dean muttered to Sam._

"_You scoot, ass-hat." Sam replied flipping a piece of popcorn to Dean._

"_Yeah, how about you both move and let me and Bobby sit on the couch huh?" I asked shaking my head at the pair. Bobby passed Sam the beers. _

"_Heaven." Sam smirked as he set the beers down in front of me and Dean. Dean snatched the the plastic bag out of my hands._

"_Hey! I was looking in there!" I said throwing a cushion at Dean as he routed through the bag._

_"Did we get licorice?" Dean asked totally ignoring me, and turning to Sam. I pouted as Bobby sat down and just watched us._

_"No, we did not get licorice. We got good snacks. Licorice is disgusting." Sam said with a mouthful of popcorn. I saw Bobby smile slightly at the scene in front of him._

"_What?" I cried out to Sam with a disapproving look on my face. _

"_I'm sorry. I didn't quite understand that, uh, Mr. Peanut-Butter-and-Banana Sandwiches?" Dean teased as Sam looked at the both of us like we were insane._

"_You know what? I stand by that sandwich. Nobody likes licorice. I-it's – it's made of dirt." Sam argued smirking slightly._

"_It is a classic movie food. It's right up there with popcorn." Dean argued back._

"_Popcorn? Really?" Sam scoffed._

"_Yes." Dean said with a nod._

"_I'd say it was better!" I said poking my tongue out at Sam._

"_You're out of your mind. You're both out of your minds! No wonder you get on so well!" Sam teased as our images started to fade._

"_What – it's like little chewy..." Dean started to say as we disappeared and all you could hear was our voices. "... pieces of heaven."_

"_Oh, chewy pieces of heaven if you're a girl." Sam teased._

"_Right here Sam." I added._

"_I meant..." And all our voices faded away. It left Bobby sat in a chair looking up at the Reaper who had his ticking watch open. He glanced at it then looked to Bobby._

_"Well, Bobby? Stay or go – what's it gonna be?" He asked plainly._


	16. Long Nights & Goodbyes

Hey everyone I'm trying to get back into writing this but if I'm honest these last two chapters have been really hard for me. Personally I've had to deal with two deaths close to each other and this story line just brought up some bad times for me. So anyway, I have tried to write this the best I could but I just wanted to get these done and out-of-the-way.  
>Thanks to anyone who readsreviews/ or alerts this story!  
>I own nothing but my imagination.<p>

* * *

><p>I sat on the boot of my Camero in the back yard of Rufus's cabin, my legs crossed under me, my hood pulled up with my MP3 player blasting Breaking Benjamin as loud as it would go. But it still wasn't loud enough. I could still hear my thoughts, louder than any music. I closed my eyes as the sting of fresh tears slid down my cheeks. <em>He... was getting better. They were talking about removing the bullet. He was supposed to be getting better. He was never meant to...<em> The tears fell onto my hands as they trembled at the memory of him laying in the bed, so still._ He died, he let go. He gave up on us. I... I don't know how to go on. He's dead. Dead. _The word bounced around my head as if it was a bee trying to get out of a jar. I shook my head as my heart lurched at the word. _No, I can't, he can't be. He wouldn't leave us. He wouldn't abandon us like this! Not like this! Not now! Not when we need him the most! How could he?! How could he leave us when we need him?! How is that fair? How in any reality is that fair? Why would he go? Why didn't he fight more? Why didn't Dick shoot me? Why couldn't I be the last one in? Why didn't I get the bullet to the head? It should have been me. It should be me. I should be dead and Bobby should be in that cabin helping the boys through it. It shouldn't have been Bobby!_

"It should have been me." I sobbed to myself as I wrapped my arms around my body and rocked back and forth. The tears fell hard as I rocked back and forth, a part of me praying any second Bobby would come out and hug me, telling me it would all be ok. It had been a five days since Bobby had died and the boys had gone to pick up his body. We planned to give him a hunters funeral, he was the best damn hunter I knew, he deserved a proper funeral. _He deserved to be alive! None of this is right!_ I got mad. I got really mad. I felt the wolf within me stir as my raged built. She fed from the anger and return gave me a new fire that burnt within me. It was a rage and fire that scared me. The rage was different since the wolf came back. I wasn't sure how to control it, or even how to calm it down. I had tried not to give into that power, not yet anyway. _But when I find Dick, he's going to wish he shot me in the head!_

"This isn't fair!" I growled snapping my head up and looking up to the sky. "He shouldn't be dead!" I added smashing my fists into the boot. As the release of anger happened I realised that I had wreck the boot. The two large dints would take some effort banging back out. I dropped my head as I released my aching fists. I caught the scent of Sam and wiped away the tears from my face, not that it would help, I knew I looked a wreck because that's exactly how I was feeling. Sam walked in front of me and started to talk, I couldn't hear him over my music. I pulled a headphone out and gave him a sad smile.

"Oh, I didn't think you heard me." Sam said slightly nervously. Sam had been crying by his puffy red eyes, he shoved his hands into his pockets and hunched his back slightly. "We, Dean wants to... he doesn't want to wait around. The fires built. Are you ready?" Sam asked as I saw him choke on a lump in his throat. Sam was taking this as hard and any of us. We were all close to Bobby in our own ways.

"No, but... I mean, he shouldn't be dead Sam." I said as fresh tears stung my eyes. Sam nodded with the saddest of looks on his face as he pulled me into a tight hug. His massive arms cocoon me as I sobbed softly.

"I know Megan, I know." He shushed me as he held me closer to him. I shook as Sam rubbed my back.

"How are you holding up?" I asked pulling out of the hug and slipping off my boot. I noticed Sam glanced at the dents in boot and gave me a questioning look before answering me.

"I, I'm just still processing, you know?" Sam asked as I pulled my hood down and ran a hand through my hair, trying to make myself look presentable. It was the least I owed Bobby.

"I know, I'm here if you wanna talk." I said sadly as we started to walk deeper into the forest. We walked in silence both lost in our own thoughts for a few minutes until we reached a small clearing ."How's Dean? Has he talked to you?" I asked worriedly, playing with the sleeve of my jacket. Truth was, Dean didn't talk to me about Bobby. He wasn't talking to Sam either, he was just bottling it in. It scared me how much he was keeping in. I could only begin to imagine how bad it was getting for him.

"Umm, only what he has to. He did the same when our dad died, Jo and Ellen. He's going to bottle it in." Sam admitted sharing my worried look. It easy to see I wasn't the only one worried.

"How do we get him to talk?" I asked as I caught the scent of Dean and gasoline. I shuddered a little at the thought of covering Bobby's body in gasoline and salt. I knew I wasn't strong enough to do that. I knew we were getting closer when I could hear Dean throw an empty can aside.

"He'll talk when he's ready." Sam said sadly as we reached a clearing. There was a large pile of wood with a body wrapped in a white sheet on top of it. Resting on Bobby's chest was his trucker cap, the one he was wearing the day he was shot. His favourite one. My heart ached seeing Bobby laid there like that. I just couldn't shake the fact it wasn't right, none of this was right. We walked up to Dean and stood there in silence for a few minutes. I glanced at Dean and his eyes were glued on Bobby's body. He looked like hell, there were dark circles under his eyes, his green had lost it shine. He looked exhausted and I knew for a fact he hadn't been sleeping. He had been spending the last few nights drinking himself into a mini-coma and I think he liked it. It saved him from thinking about the truth. About the reason we were all stood there.

"Bobby, you,um, you were a father to us. Probably more than our Dad actually." Sam said sadly with a small smirk, breaking our silence. "You taught me Poker, how to track weather omens, you even showed me how to used devil traps. You taught me more than anyone else about this life. You, um.." Sam's voice broke and I glanced at him seeing the tears roll down his cheeks as he tried to keep it together. He wiped away the tears and continued. "You taught me about the importance of family. Bobby you were our family. You were a great hunter Bobby. One in a million and I'm going to miss you..." Sam finished wiping the tears off his face. I glanced at Sam and gave him a sad smile, squeezing his hand a little. I took a deep breath and looked at Bobby's body. The lurch of my heart made the words catch in my throat as I tried to figure out the right words to say. Although I had experienced death far too much for my young life, and even though everyone apart from Sam and Dean had died around me; this in fact was one of my first funerals. I didn't know what the right words were to say but I knew, standing there, looking at the body, I had to say something.

"Bobby, I, I remember when I first talked to you, man I thought, I thought you were one grumpy, pain in the neck, nag. I know now you were only keeping your eye on me." I said as the tears fell. I found the words harder to say as I fought the lump in my throat. "Ever since I came into your life you've shown me nothing but love, no matter how bad things have gone. You were always..." The lump in my throat was hard to talk past and I had to take a moment. Dean grabbed hold of my hand and held it tight, I glanced at him, but his eyes were still glued on the pyre. He rubbed his thumb over mine and it helped. "You were always there for me, us. I never got to tell you how much I loved you Bobby Singer. How much I respected you for taking in three orphans and raising them like your own. You were my father, and I will...I will never forget you." I sobbed pulling Dean into a hug. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his shoulder, rubbing my arm slightly. I was crying on Dean and I could feel the grief from both brothers wash over me. It just made my grief worse, something I didn't think was possible. I forced myself to cry less, realising that I needed to be stronger for Dean and Sam. I needed to be strong for them like they were strong for me. Like Bobby would have been for us.

"Bobby," Dean's voice came out hoarse and broken, I knew he had been crying, but he was just about holding it together. I looked up at him wiping away the tears. "You were my father, you taught me how to fix cars, play catch and all those other kids things my father never taught me." Dean paused taking a deep breath. I hugged his arm giving him a sad smile. "You helped me make my first sawn off, how to make bullets and what good whiskey tasted like. You were there for me, when I didn't know what to do..." I heard Dean swallow hard and saw how hard it was for him to keep it together. "Rest in peace, you deserve it." Dean said pulling his zippo out of his pocket. He flicked it open and tossed it onto the pyre. The flames built quickly, consuming Bobby's body as we all stood there in a deafly silence as we watched the flames. The oranges and reds quickly rose to the sky like a phoenix trying to escape. The warm glow of the fire did nothing to get rid of the cold guilty feeling I had in my guts. _I should have been the one to get shot in the head... I'll make this right Bobby I promise._

* * *

><p>I don't know how long we stood out there watching the flames, it was probably all night, because when we finally moved away the flames were dying down. Everything felt wrong. It just didn't feel right without Bobby around shouting at us, calling us eijets for everything we had done. We made our way through the clearing back to the cabin when I was stopped abruptly by Dean. He still had hold of my hand and was looking back at the smouldering pyre.<p>

"Dean?" I asked softy as I saw his shoulders slump. He was saying his goodbyes to Bobby, his final goodbyes. Dean turned to me and the red puffy eyes were there, cheeks tear streaked. I tugged his arm closer to me and we hugged. I wanted to hug the grief out of him. I wanted to hold him until he was ok to take on the world. But I knew we couldn't it would take a life time to get over Bobby Singer. A lifetime we might not have if the leviathans were still hell bent on finding us.

* * *

><p>We sat in the cabin, each with a beer staring out at nothing as we thought about the old grump. It never got easy, losing someone. You'd think after all I had been through, the amount of times I had lost loved ones it would. Some trick of the mind that, it didn't effect you so much, but it does. I felt hollow inside, there was a piece of me missing. A piece was missing – Bobby.<p>

"He, he told me once that you two were the sons he never had. He was so proud of you both." I said looking up from my bottle and glancing at the pair. Sam nodded sadly but Dean was still zoned out. I worried what Dean was thinking, I wouldn't use my powers to see what he was feeling, I was too scared at what I might find out.

"He had a picture of your wedding day in his family photo album, near his own wedding photos." Sam admitted looking at me.

"Really?" I choked out feeling the tears coming back up. I knew Bobby loved us all, and thought of us as family, but I never knew he kept the photo's so safe.

"Yeah, I know he was so happy when you and Dean finally got together." Sam smiled before taking a sip of his beer.

"I miss him." I said sadly playing with my bottle.

"Me too." Sam added looking down at his own bottle before Dean suddenly stood up and walked out of the cabin.

"What's he doing?" I asked getting onto my feet to fallow him. Sam grabbed my arm and held me back.

"He just needs some time alone. Trust me, it's better this way." Sam said still holding my arm.

"How is this better? I mean have you seen him lately? He doesn't talk, hardly eats pretty much all he's doing is drinking himself into a grave right next to Bobby's. I can't let him do that Sam." I sighed softly pulling my arm free. I tried to keep my emotions in check as I glanced to the door, hoping that Dean wasn't going to drink himself into a mini coma again.

"But he needs time to process it all on his own. You go out there now, and I promise you, he wont talk to you. He'll just get madder." Sam said knowingly. I studied Sam's features for a second weighing up his reasoning.

"But..." I sighed looking to the door and then back to Sam.

"I know, but trust me on this one ok?" Sam asked giving me the damn puppy dog eyes.

"Fine... but I'm giving him a week, if he's still acting the same, I'm talking to him." I said firmly.

"Deal." Sam nodded holding his hands up in defeat. I sighed looking back at the door one more time before walking back to the sofa.

* * *

><p>It had been a couple of days and we had fallen into a routine. Dean would keep to himself going out and getting drunk in the woods, barely making back to the cabin most nights. Sam would go through Bobby's old things, sometimes taking them into a spare bedroom and crying to himself. I just seemed to spend most of the time sobbing to myself, staying in or on my Camero. I worked the dents out of the boot. It was late and Dean still hadn't come back in. Sam had called it a night and went to try and get some sleep. I was laid out on the couch rolling an empty bottle of scotch in my hands. I couldn't sleep, I wouldn't sleep. Since I got my memories back, since I got me back, images of purgatory had been seeping into my dreams. At first they were just hints of monsters, then they started to appear more and more in my dreams. Ever since we lost Bobby they were practically all I could dream about. I was glad in a way that the boys were so busy that they hadn't noticed. I sat playing with the bottle, trying not to think about Bobby or the Leviathans. I sat there just rolling the bottle when the door to the cabin opened softly. I looked up to see Dean walk in, he looked a little surprised to see me sat there, and honestly I was a little surprised to see him.<p>

"Hi." I said softly waving a hand at him. Dean closed the door and walked over to me.

"Hey." He replied sitting in the chair near by. He looked tired, he looked really tired.

"How are you?" I asked looking down at the bottle in my hands. Dean didn't answer and I wondered if he heard me at all. I looked up and saw Dean looked straight at me, I could feel the grief and guilt, and anger wash over me as he looked into my eyes. I took a deep breath and looked back down at the bottle. "Yeah, figured that was how you were doing." I said picking at the label on the bottle.

"You want another beer?" Dean grunted as he got up and walked over to the fridge. I glanced up and shook my head. "Suit yourself." He sighed taking a beer out and opening it.

"You not going to sleep?" I asked carefully as he came and sat down back in the chair. Dean let out a grunt and rolled his shoulders.

"Planning on drinking till I pass out, you?" He asked looking at me. I shifted slightly and put the bottle on the table. I forced myself not to say anything, biting my tongue rather than challenging Dean's drinking. I had promised Sam I'd give Dean a week and it hadn't passed yet.

"I... I'm not tired." I said getting to my feet and putting the bottle in the bin. I turned back around and saw Dean staring out into nothing. "You know, we did all we could." I said softly as Dean's head snapped to me. If looks could kill, the cold harsh look on Dean's face would kill me.

"Did we?" Dean asked bitterly. He scoffed and shook his head.

"Yeah, we did." I replied calmly, keeping my voice even.

"We should have tried more, done something, anything." Dean said bitterly before taking a long sip of his beer.

"Dean, beating yourself up about it, it's not what Bobby would have wanted." I sighed softly trying to make him understand that none of this was his fault. I hoped that he would see it wasn't his fault and then not drink so much.

"How do you know? I mean how do you know it's not my fault? Everyone who stays around me dies! My dad, Sammy, Ellen, Jo, Rufus, Cass, Bobby, hell even you! Everyone dies around me!" Dean snapped with anger burning in his eyes. He got up and marched out of the cabin. I sighed running a hand through my hair and glanced back to the room Sam was sleeping in. I knew I promised Sam but I had to help Dean so I decided to fallow him out. I closed the door softly behind me and caught Dean's scent going deeper into the woods. I followed the scent until I found him sat with his back lent against the burnt pyre we set up for Bobby. He was crying, the tears rolling down his face, yet he wasn't making any noise. It killed me seeing Dean like. So broken, so grief stricken, so alone.

"You don't get us killed Dean." I said as I reached him. Dean looked up at me and threw the bottle of beer near my feet. It smashed and I took a step back. I knew he wasn't mad at me, not really.

"I do! Everyone dies around me, leaves me sooner or later!" Dean snapped getting too his feet and wiping the tears away. "Don't you see?!" He asked staring into my eyes.

"No, I don't! I see a man who has lost way too much! But I don't see a man who courses his friends to die! You didn't get anyone killed Dean!" I yelled back matching my voice with Deans.

"But I did damn it!" Dean growled getting hold of my by the shoulders and shaking my hard. "I get everyone killed! I made Bobby go with us to scout on Dick! I made the pair of you go to the roof! If I hadn't come up with the damn plan then we wouldn't have been there. Bobby wouldn't have been shot! He wouldn't be dead now, if it wasn't for me!" Dean shouted letting me go and I stumbled back a few steps. Dean let out a scream and punched a near by tree. Something within me stirred, a feeling, a hunger. As Dean got madder and madder all I wanted to do was rip something apart. I didn't care what it was, I just needed to destroy something. I knew that was my wolf side and I knew I didn't have control enough to let that side out yet, let alone the damage I could do with it. I forced myself to focus on the hurt Dean was feeling and tried to calm him down.

"Dean! Stop it!" I cried out rushing to his side and grabbing his arm before he lashed out at the tree again. "Stop!" I pleaded but he just shook me off, punching the tree again. I could smell the blood on the air as he pounded the tree.

"I got Bobby killed!" Dean cried out hitting the tree a few more times for good measure.

"Look Dean," I said jumping in front of him and blocking the tree. "If anyone got Bobby killed we both know it was-"

"Don't say you." Dean snapped at me, taking a step back. "Don't blame yourself." He said threw grit teeth nursing his hand.

"I wasn't going to." I admitted and Dean looked at me confused. Ok honestly I was, but I knew if I did in that moment it wouldn't have helped anyone.

"The who?" He asked pausing, standing perfectly still. The rage on a edge, one wrong word tipping him over the edge.

"Dick Roman." I said plainly. "He shot Bobby, he's the bastard we have to work on killing." I said feeling calmer.

* * *

><p>The next couple of days no one really talked but the grief didn't feel so bad. We sat around silently in the cabin, keeping our thoughts to ourselves. We were all processing it, each in our own way. Late one night, after Sam had gone to bed and while Dean was sat out at the pyre I started to fall asleep. I felt my eyes getting heavier by the second and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep my eyes open for much longer.<p>

_I was lost, alone and scared. The darkness was never-ending. I knew I was the only human soul in there, well human enough. I started to walk, I had no idea where I was heading but I needed to keep moving. The wind whistled through the darkness, a bone chilling cold. _

"_Robin-hood and Little John running through the forest, laughing back and forth at what the other had to say, reminiscing, this and that-ing, and having such a good time," I sang softly to myself as I moved, trying my best to remain calm._

"_Human..." A ghost of a voice called out in the darkness. I froze to the spot, my heart catching in my throat. "Oh little human... where are you?" The voice called out in the darkness. I herd feet, claws scrape again the darkness, the noise is something I could never forget. I needed to move. I needed to get away. I ran, I ran as fast as my legs would take me. I ran through the burn, as my muscles begged me to stop, rest just for a second. But I knew I couldn't rest, I knew I couldn't stop. "Human, there's no point running, we will find you." The voice called out. It sounded like it was right behind me. My heart pounded as I raced more. I turned quickly and instantly regretted it. I felt a hand rip into my shoulder, tearing through muscle and bone as it gripped me._

"_No! Let me go!" I cried as I tried to free myself from the death grip. "Dean!" I screamed as I was pulled backwards onto my heels and dragged away. "Dean help me!" I cried out as tears rolled down my cheeks. "Help me!"_

"Help me!" I screamed sitting bolt upright on the sofa. My heart pounded in my chest as I looked around and saw the darkness. It scared the living hell out of me. I jumped to my feet and raced out the door and into the woods, my bare feet running as far away as I could go. I finally stopped running and rested against a tree catching my breath as I panted hard. My mind raced, as my heart thumped in my chest. _Get out! I need to get out of here! They're going to find me! It's just a matter of time. Time. Ha! Yeah right! Time means nothing here. Escape._ Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I let a scream out, grabbing it and twisting it before throwing the thing into a tree. I didn't stop to see what it was, I just kept running. I must have ran all night, because only when the sun came up did I finally stop. Once I was surrounded by light I realised I wasn't trapped in my dream any more. I slowly made my way back to the cabin, I had a few cuts on my feet but they were already healing by the time I made it to the front door. As I walked in I saw Sam making breakfast, he gave me a worried look, throwing me those famous puppy dog eyes. It didn't take a genius to figure out he knew what was going on with me.

"Megan, can we talk?" Sam asked softly as he made eggs.

"I um.. I need a shower first." I lied as I hurried off to the bathroom. I jumped in the shower and washed while I tried to figure out a way to explain the screams to Sam. I knew I wouldn't be able to, not really. I sighed climbing out of the shower and taking a good long look at myself in the mirror.

"Well you look like shit, that's always an awesome start." I sighed softly, my hair clung to my face in damp curls as my eyes seemed to be darker than normal. "They're just dreams, just dreams. They don't mean anything. I'm.." I let out a heavy sigh, pushing the damp curls off my face. "I'm just remembering it... _Super_! I just need to work it through my system, then, then I'll be be fine. Yeah, that's all I need to say to Sammy. Just that." I said with a quick nod. It didn't even sound convincing to me. I groaned and bashed my head against the mirror slightly. "He's going to know I'm lying." I muttered to myself.

"You'll give yourself a headache doing that." Dean said, appearing at the door. I hadn't heard the door open or even caught his scent. I jumped slightly and turned to him. He looked as bad I felt. I saw him rubbing his shoulder and realised who exactly was in the woods.

"How, how long have you been um, stood there?" I asked pulling the towel up slightly. It was more a nervous reaction than anything.

"Not long, what's wrong?" Dean asked leaning on the door frame and folding his arms over his chest. I noticed the slight wince as he lent on the frame.

"What's wrong with your shoulder?" I asked softly, biting my bottom lip. Dean took a long moment to look at me before glancing to his shoulder.

"I fell into a tree." He said meeting my eyes. There was a look there, one that said he wasn't entirely sure about pushing the issue. It wasn't a look that I was used to seeing with Dean. We stood there in an awkward silence until Sam yelled that breakfast was ready.

* * *

><p>I got dressed and walked to the table sitting down between Sam and Dean as they ate. I couldn't bring myself to eat. My stomach was turning with the memories of Purgatory. I sat there sipping on some orange juice. Everything felt like we were all walking on egg shells around each other. I wasn't sure any of us wanted to mention Bobby or Dean's drinking or my freaking out. We were barely keeping the lie of everything's alright going before I started freaking out. I wasn't sure how long it could last, and by the looks Sam was giving me, neither did he.<p>

"So how did you sleep?" Sam asked taking a sip of his coffee as he looked at me. I glanced at Dean and then met Sam's gaze. _I should tell the truth... but with everything with Bobby... it's too soon._

"I had a bad dream last night." I admitted looking down to the glass of juice.

"I heard you screaming." Sam added with the damn puppy dog look.

"Yeah," I sighed running a hand through my hair. "I ran out the house..." I trailed off and glanced at Dean who wasn't looking at me. He was eating.

"What did you dream about?" Sam asked drawing my attention back to him. I looked into his eyes and realised that now really wasn't the time to let the guys know I was losing it. They had enough to deal with and telling them that I was having dreams of being back in Purgatory wasn't going to help anyone. I took a sip of my orange juice and looked down at it.

"I... I dreamt that I was back with Bobby in the back of the van-" I started to lie when Dean pushed his chair back and stormed out of the cabin. Both me and Sam watched as he walked out, slamming the door behind him. I turned to Sam and shook my head. "I didn't mean for him to walk out." I said softly.

"He's still trying to find a way to deal with it." Sam replied with a small shrug.

"We both know how he's dealing with it Sam." I sighed with a small amount of frustration in my voice. Sam opened his mouth to argue but I just glared at him and he sighed.

"It's Dean." Sam said as if it explained everything.

"He's going to end up next to Bobby at this rate! He's drinking himself to an early grave!" I cried out standing up.

"He wont listen to you, or me! You know that." Sam sighed as I paced up and down in front of him.

"Of course I know that, it doesn't make any easier to watch!" I almost growled feeling the egg shells we were all walking on disappear like morning mist.

"I know! I've seen him go through this too many times!" Sam snapped slamming his hands on the table. My head shot round to his direction and I could see the mixture of anger and frustration play out on his face. "We just.. he just need a little time..." Sam said softly dropping his head.

"Sam..." I said softly reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"I need some air." Sam announced quickly leaving the cabin almost mirroring Dean.

* * *

><p>I was left alone in the cabin. Something inside me snapped. The anger from the row with Sam, or the lack of communication with Dean, it could been a combination of both but something snapped in me. I let out a deep growl as the rage burned inside me. I started to smash the empty beer bottles, punch and kick the furniture, I lashed out at everything.<p>

"This is all too much!" I cried as tears started to roll down my cheeks. "You were meant to be here for us, for me! You were meant to always be here for me! You promised after my family died, you promised to be here for me!" I cried as I dropped to my knees in the mist of the chaos of the room. "You promised Bobby!" I cried out seeing the damage I had done to the room. "How am I meant to cope? Who am I going to turn to now? You're gone and I... I can't keep them together! I can barely keep them in the same place! You were always the glue! You! Now... now how am I meant to do it? How am I meant to go on without you there? I need you Bobby! I need you here..." I cried pulling my knee's up to my chest and sobbing into my folded arms. _With every person who dies, its getting harder and harder to pick myself up and go on. You were always there for me, always. So why leave me now? I can't do this without you man. I need you here... please... help me._

I closed my eyes tightly and buried my head into my arms. I cried silently as I shook, I don't think I ever felt so alone. Bobby was a second dad to me, he gave me the strength to keep fighting when we thought it was all worthless. He'd told me in the past I was the strong one, I kept the family together, but honestly it was him. I wasn't sure how to help either Winchester now he was gone, or myself. _Help me_ I thought as I felt myself falling deeper into the rabbits hole.

A touch.

Something touched my arm and I looked around. The place was empty, a mess and empty. I double checked but I was alone. "Hello?" I called out softly as I looked. There was no response. I waited a couple more seconds before putting it down to grief. I rested my head on my arms and closed my eyes again. As I closed my eyes I sensed something, someone.

"Bobby?"

* * *

><p>Please review and let me know what you think.<p> 


	17. Adventures In Babysitting

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

><p>It had been just over a week since I thought I felt Bobby. In that time I had tried everything I could think of to connect with him. I tried spirit boards, deep meditation, I even tried a simple séance. Nothing worked. I decided to put it down to grief and keep it to myself, <em>I mean what are the chances Bobby's a ghost really?<em> I repeatedly told myself day in and day out. Sam seemed to be getting better, he talked more and actually seemed to be dealing with the grief. Either that or he was becoming a better actor. I was still dreaming of Purgatory, every time I closed my eyes I could see it. The monsters, the fear, the pain. I was getting by with small cat naps, thankfully because of my werewolf side it helped. But I was waking, muffling screams, repressing the urge to run. Focusing on my crazy helped me get the past Bobby was gone. Or at least that's what I was telling myself. For now, it was working. Dean... he wasn't doing so great. He became obsessed with the numbers Bobby had written just before he died. He had passed the numbers onto Frank to see if he could make any sense of it and was also going through any possibility he could think of. We were all in the cabin and I walked past Dean and noticed the numbers on the note pad, underneath was a list of ideas.

"How's it going?" I asked breaking the silence in the room. Dean glanced at me over his shoulder and grunted. "That well..." I sighed looking over to Sam. He had Bobby's address book in his hands and was looking through it. He had a thinking face on, he deeply considering something, and I figured it was the same thing I had thought about.

* * *

><p>Days continued to bleed together as Dean became more and more focused on the numbers Bobby gave us, what they had to do with Dick and what they could mean. Dean had started to pin-up articles linked to the Biggersons meat recall and all the different enterprises Dick Roman had entered in. I was stood leaning on the wall just watching Dean silently when Sam walked in with two duffel bags and put them on the table before taking a beer out of the fridge and opening it.<br>"Guys, you know, um... I wonder if – if we... I mean, should we be telling people? I mean, people he knew." Sam asked looking from me to Dean and back again. It looked like Dean hadn't even heard him. Dean hadn't been listening to us for the past couple of days and it was starting to worry me a little. I shared a worried look with Sam before answering him.

"I think-" I said pushing myself off the wall when Dean cut me off turning to face us. I slumped back on the wall rolling my eyes.

"How long ago did I give Frank these numbers? It's been a few weeks, right? What, is he nuts, or is he just being rude?" Dean asked us before glancing at his notice board again.

"Probably both. Dean, I-I got to ask you a question." Sam said glancing at me for help.

"Unless, of course, something happened to him. He can't get to the phone because a Leviathan ate his face." Dean suggested turning back to facing us. He was in his own world and nothing was going to bring him back. Not until he figured out what the numbers meant.

"Yeah, also a possibility" Sam sighed softly.

"Dean?" I said looking at my husband, or rather the exhausted crap pile that looked vaguely like him.

"We should go check on him." Dean announced with a quick nod.

"Dean, do you want to call Bobby's people or not?" Sam asked firmly forcing his brother into the conversation. Dean glanced at me coldly then turned to his brother looking frustrated.

"W- why is- why is that our job?" Dean scoffed shaking his head.

"Because who else is gonna do it?" Sam asked softly.

"We were all he had." I added softly. Dean took another moment to look between Sam and me, he was weighting something up but just shook his head instead.

"I'm not calling anybody. If you two want to, you go right ahead." Dean said turning his back on us.

"I don't want to call anybody. You kidding me?" Sam cried out softly before turning to me.

"Me?" I asked pointing to myself, but before anyone could answer a phone in one the duffel bags Sam brought in began to ring. We all shared a look, realising that it was Bobby's phone and we'd most likely have to tell the person on the other end he was dead. It would be the first time we'd have to tell anyone.

"Well, I'm not getting it." Dean stated throwing his free hand in the air. Sam let out a grunt as he picked up the phone.

"Hello?" He asked looking over at me, I just shrugged my shoulders.

"_Is Bobby Singer there?_" A girl asked, she didn't sound too old a teenager at most.

"Uh, no. He's, uh... I-I-it's not, but I'm a friend of his." Sam said stumbling over his words. Dean picked up a flask out of one of the bags, sniffing its contents before putting the lid back on.

"_My dad asked me to call Bobby Singer specifically._" The girl said plainly.

"He's... not here, but, look, if you need s-" Sam started to reply when the girl just hung up on him.

"Who was it?" Dean asked grumpily.

"Just some kid." Sam said glancing at the phone.

"For Bobby? Girl scout cookies?" Dean scoffed turning back to the pin board.

"I think maybe..." Sam said softly.

"She sound in trouble?" I asked as Dean picked up his beer. Sam shrugged softly.

"Maybe a-a hunter's kid? I mean, she sounded pretty scared. You know, I have a caller ID. Maybe we should go find her. We – we can check on her." Sam explained.

"What about Frank?" Dean asked turning to us, frustration clear in his voice.

"Well, Dean, I think we should go find this girl first." Sam sighed and I nodded in agreement. Frank was nuts and most likely dodging us. A girl in trouble, well it was someone we could help now.

"Sam, Megan, Frank's been working on the numbers that Bobby spent his last breath on, and you want to back-burner that?" Dean asked almost growling at us.

"Dean, it's not like that." I said softly pushing my hair out of my face. It was pissing me off how Dean could just suggest that we didn't care what Bobby had spent his last minutes on this planet trying to tell us. I folded my arms over my chest and I could tell both me and Sam was sharing that same pissed off expression.

"Fine. You go check out girl scout. I'll find Frank." Dean said firmly.

"Fine. But you know what? On one condition – if Frank is just spinning his wheels, then you bail out on crazy and come meet us." Sam begged Dean hoping to pull him away from his obsession with the numbers. I sighed feeling something again, the feeling that Bobby was in the room again. I looked around a little confused but I couldn't see him. And then as quickly as the feeling came, it went again. _Bobby? Was... Bobby was that you? Are you here?_

"And thanks for drinking my entire beer." Dean snapped at Sam making me breaking out of my thoughts.

"I didn't touch your beer. Mine's right there. You probably drank it without noticing." Sam said pointing his beer on the table behind him.

"Right." Dean said looking confused at his bottle.

* * *

><p>Sam and I got ready to leave, each packing a bag. I loaded up Rufus's truck with my bag as Sam walked out of the cabin running a hand through his hair. He looked tired half the man he used to be. Bobby's death had hit each one of us hard.<p>

"Do, do you think we should leave him alone?" I asked softly leaning on the side of the truck. I put my hands into my jacket and played with my cars in my hand.

"Megan, I don't know." Sam said putting his bag in the truck. "He's just so obsessed with those numbers and Dick. I mean I know he wants revenge for Bobby, we all do. It's just..." Sam let his sentence die off as his gaze went back to the cabin. I nodded in silent agreement. We all wanted Dick's head on a platter, we all wanted to kill the son of a bitch, but Dean was taking it to a crazy new level.

"Maybe one of us should stay, just to keep an eye on him?" I suggested softly. My own gaze was on the cabin but for a different reason. I was almost sure I had felt Bobby again and I wanted to try to contact him again. I was sure if I kept trying I would eventually get an answer.

"He isn't even listening to us." Sam said and I could feel his eyes on me but my gaze was still fixed on the cabin. "Megan? Is there another reason you want to stay?" Sam asked rubbing my arm. I jumped slightly and turned to him.

"Reason?" I asked hopeful that Sam was about to say he felt Bobby in the cabin as well.

"Yeah, you're nightmares. I mean, both me and Dean's heard them." Sam said throwing me the puppy dog eyes.

"I kinda figured you had." I sighed softly, I looked to my hands and let out a heavy sigh. "Who knew coming back from the dead would have so much baggage?" I tried to make it sound like a joke but it came out flat. Sam nudged me softly and I looked up to his puppy dog eyes.

"You know, if any one on the planet could relate, me and Dean can." Sam said with a sad smile.

"I don't want you to relate. I don't want anyone to know. I don't want to know." I sighed returning his sad smile. "Sometimes I just... I dunno, maybe I was better when I didn't remember anything."

"You don't mean that." Sam said looking down at me confused.

"No, I don't. It just was easier I guess..." I sighed and pushed myself off the truck, grabbing my bag out of the trunk.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked confused.

"Keeping an eye on Dean. You go check out girl scout, if it's something, call me. I'll come help out." I sighed softly giving Sam's arm a rub as I hitched my bag on my shoulder.

"Are you sure? I mean, we could swap. The girl might open up to you more." Sam suggested trying to help.

"No, go. I'll go with Dean. I'd love to meet Frank anyway." I sighed shaking my head a little.

"Oh yeah, he's a blast." Sam said sarcastically giving me a small hug before turning and climbing into the truck. I waved him off before walking back to the cabin. I opened the door and saw Dean looking at Bobby's flask. His eyes darted to me as he put the flask down on the table.

"What are you doing? I thought you were going with Sam?" Dean asked confused clearing the emotion out of his throat. It was clear that I had just caught him in a moment and I wanted to kick myself for it.

"I changed my mind, I decided I wanted to meet this Frank guy." I smirked walking over to him. I wrapped my arms around Dean's waist and put my head on his shoulder. Dean stiffened for a second before wrapping his hands around my back holding me close to him.

"I love you Dean." I whispered into his chest.

"I love you too Meg." He said softly, kissing my head.

* * *

><p>I knew Sam could call any time and Dean wouldn't want to leave Frank until he got answers, so I decided to take my Camero as well. I followed Dean in the Impala, not the black beauty, but she was close and brown. I tapped my fingers across the stirring wheel as I tried to think of what happened back in the cabin.<p>

"Ok, ok, ok think like a hunter. Hunter. Right." I sighed shaking my head. "I know, well I think I know, I felt Bobby in the cabin. Twice. I mean he was there where I was begging for help, for his help. I needed him there. I needed him to be there for me... and I think he was?" I asked myself. "I mean sure I felt him. I closed my eyes and I could feel him." I paused and glanced at the Impala in front of me. "Then today, I swear, I swear he was there, just for a split second, but I could feel him there. Just like when you know someone's walked into the room when your backs turned. You just know who it is." I ran a hand over my face. "Then why didn't he answer me? The oujia board, the meditation... I tried everything. I mean I think I tried everything. Maybe I should just sneak a look at John's Journal... it could help? Why wouldn't he answer me? Maybe it was all just grief and Purgatory making a guess spot in my dreams. I'm probably over tired and under too much stress... yeah. Probably... right?" I glanced in my rear view mirror and shrugged to myself as Dean pulled down a road and parked in front of a house. I parked next to him and got out. The house looked normal, nothing like the crazy I had expected from Frank. The guys had told me how um out there, Frank was and I was expecting tin foil hats and boarded windows. The place look so... normal.

"This the place?" I asked tucking my gun down the back of my jeans.

"Yeah, this is Frank's place." Dean nodded walking ahead of me. He picked the lock and we made our way through the house. The place looked empty and Dean glanced at me, silently nodding for me to pull my gun. It felt like something bad had happened and I was praying that the Leviathans had long left before we got there.  
>"This can't be good." Dean said to me as we walked into an empty room that looked like it housed computers at one point. Suddenly we heard a gun cocking from behind us. We both turned on our heels aiming at an old man with glasses and a shotgun aimed between the pair of us. He looked kinda crazy and I took it that the guy was Frank. "Well... hi." Dean said as Frank just stood there aiming at us.<p>

"Friendly." I muttered to Dean as Frank glared at me.

"Frank... we're amongst friends here. Okay, acquaintances." Dean corrected himself as Frank just stood there with a pissed off expression on his face.

"That's just what a Leviathan would say." Frank growled. I forced myself not to roll my eyes. I knew all too well and good what a Leviathan would say, and it wasn't _were friends_. It was more like _dinner time_. I stood there as Dean continued to convince Frank.

"Frank. I'm not a Leviathan, and neither is she." Dean said nodding his head to me.

"Oh, sure. You're not a Leviathan. Dick Roman's not a Leviathan. Gwyneth Paltrow is not a Leviathan." Frank ranted.

"Yeah?" Dean asked confused.

"Trust me." Frank answered with a quick nod. Dean thought about it for a minute than nodded as if it all made sense.

"Back on point guys." I sighed as Frank aimed at my chest.

"Okay. You know what, Frank? I think you've been doing a little too much research." Dean said softly.

"They're anywhere, anyone. Who's to say this ain't the day they come for old Frank who knew too much?" Frank asked seriously.

"They bleed black goo, right? You want to see what I bleed?" Dean suggested glancing at me. Frank pointed his shotgun at Dean's foot and he jumped a little.

"Hey!" I yelled as Dean jumped.

"Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's take the guns out of it, okay?" Dean asked softly.

"Okay." Frank nodded. Dean put his gun down on the table. "You two." Frank barked to me. I glanced at Dean, I wasn't comfortable putting my gun down when crazy could have anything set up in the place.

"Just put it down." Dean nodded.

"If he shoots one of us..." I grumbled putting my gun down and holding my hands up. Dean pulled out a switch knife and cut his forearm as Frank lowered his shotgun.

"See? Red-blooded American." Dean said wiping his knife on his sleeve. He passed me the knife and I rolled my sleeve up a little.

"I hate this bit." I winced as I cut myself and a few drops fell before the cut healed itself.

"What?! What was that?!" Frank cried out lifting up his shotgun again.

"Take it easy Frank!" Dean yelled as I held the knife tight. "This is Megan, my wife." Dean said looking at me.

"What the hell are you?!" Frank barked his gun locked on me.

"A werewolf." I admitted softly, keeping my eyes locked on Frank.

"Werewolf huh?" Frank asked raising an eyebrow.

"Just put the gun down Frank." Dean said plainly.

"You know you couldn't stop me with that thing anyway." I reasoned raising my eyebrow. Frank stood there for a few seconds and thought about it. He lowered his gun again and sighed.

"You brought a w-e-r-e-w-o-l-f into my house?! What was you thinking?" Frank growled at Dean.

"I can spell." I said rolling my eyes this time.

"Now isn't really the time Frank." Dean said taking the knife from me and holding it out to Frank. "Your turn."

"Oh! Whoa. Look, I'm obviously not-" Frank started to say and I let out a small grunt.

"Fair's fair, douche bag." Dean stated and made Frank cut his palm, showing us the blood before passing the knife back to Dean.

"Yeah." Dean sighed wiping the knife on his sleeve before putting it away. "I'm glad we could all share that together."

"Grab your guns, come with me. For God's sake, don't make any noise." Frank muttered before walking off.

"What a charming guy." I said sarcastically picking up my gun and tucking it down my back.

"Isn't he just?" Dean added with a sarcastic smile before we followed him.

* * *

><p>We followed Frank to a barn containing a trailer. Frank marched in and we just followed him. The place was kitted out with all the computers and surveillance that were in the house by my guess. The wires and cables covered the whole trailer and I wondered how long it would have taken him to set it up.<p>

"Why the downsize?" Dean asked as Frank and he sat down. I just stood behind Dean taking it all in.

"You! _Hey, Frank, go dig up some dirt on Richard Roman._ That night, I was burned off every IP I had. Ears on my phones, eyes on my house..." Frank ranted getting fully animated over the issue.

"Wait- Dick's got people watching you?" Dean asked confused.

"Do I look like I know? You think it's easy to see this deep into what's real and also be bipolar with delusional ideation? There is no pill for my situation, sweetie-pop, so, yeah, best guess- the bigmouths are onto me. Next question." Frank stated sarcastically adding a smile in there too.

"All right. Well, what's the word on the bigmouths?" Dean asked plainly.

"Their tentacles are everywhere. I-I'm looking at bankers, military high-ups..." Frank said typing a few keys and bringing up a list.

"This is why you didn't call me back." Dean asked getting to his feet.

"Hey, cut me some slack. You called me like four days ago." Frank said turning to us.

"I called you four weeks ago, Frank." Dean growled running a hand over his face as he started to pace the room. His frustration was building and it made me feel on edge and slightly pissed off too.

"What? No. Really? Days, weeks – quit busting my chops." Frank said waving a hand as if it was all ok. That we had all the time in the world.

"What, are you kidding me?" Dean snapped turning to Frank.

"You cool your heels, Buster Brown." Frank said dryly.

"Frank, I paid you fifteen grand for this." Dean growled marching up to the guy.

"Yeah, I get that-" Frank started to explain when Dean cut him off.

"No, you don't get that! Dick Roman is every card in my hit deck. You understand that? Those numbers, they got something to do with him, okay? Bobby died for those numbers." Dean growled.

"Look, I'm sorry about Bobby. I really am. You know, this one time, we were in Fresno, and we got stuck-" Frank started to say and I felt Dean's frustration boil over, he was ready to snap and I wasn't sure I could stop him.

"No. No, no, no. I'm not gonna play _this one time with Bobby_ crap, all right? I'm not gonna get all warm and fuzzy with somebody else who barely knew him." Dean snapped right Franks face.

"Just trying to make friendly conversation." Frank shrugged as if he didn't care how hostile Dean was getting towards him.

"This is not a friendship, Frank. I'm paying you!" Dean growled charging towards him.

"Whoa! Whoa calm down Dean." I said blocking his path to Frank. I put my hands on his chest and gasped from the rage that was bubbling under the surface. I closed my eyes and fought to keep my werewolf under control.

"Hey. You know what you need? A little LSD, a little shiatsu-" Frank said calmly.

"We're out of here." Dean said grabbing my hand as I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I was just about keeping the wolf at bay, but leaving would mean she wouldn't come out.

"Hey, you want to know what those numbers are? Bupkis. They're not lottery numbers, license-" Frank stated.

"I know that, Frank. Thank you." Dean said sarcastically still holding onto my hand.

"Which leaves us little else to do but probability generate." Frank said typing a few keys.

"Come again?" Dean asked confused. I paused and tilted my head to one side. It was a brilliant idea, the numbers were incomplete so why not try adding a missing number. The guy might have been crazy but he was impressive.

"You run most reasonable possibilities for a Levi-related five-digit number written by a dying drunk, you come up flat. Know what you start to wonder? _Hey, maybe I'm missing a number._" Frank stated smirking.

"Well, how do you figure?" Dean asked softly.

"Oh, I don't know. Because Bobby was dying of brain trauma. I just had a tickle there was a reason nothing was popping out at us, so I set up a program to run possibilities for six numbers, seven, eight. But good news." Frank said hitting another few keys and smiling at us.

"Good news?" Dean asked confused.

"Never had to go past six, because this..." Frank said typing in the numbers 454893 and bringing up a new screen. "...my little lambs, are coordinates."

"You sure? To what?" Dean asked as we moved closer and watched the screens.

"A field in Wisconsin." Frank stated.

"No. No, Bobby didn't give us coordinates to some patch of weeds in Cheeseville." Dean said shaking his head.

"No, he gave you coordinates to a parcel recently purchased by Wellman, Inc., a subsidiary of," Frank paused making a trumpet noise with his mouth. "Richard Roman Enterprises."

"So what do we do?" Dean asked confused as we looked at the pictures of the field.

"Stay away. Or, if we're stupid... we go there and set up surveillance." Frank said turning to us and smirking.

* * *

><p>Me and Dean were told to leave the trailer while Frank set everything up. He didn't trust us, and for a crazy, he wasn't that bad. Dean decided to call Sam and check up on him. He put the phone on speaker and we stood around listening.<br>"_Find Frank?_" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Those numbers? Coordinates. Dick bought some land. We're headed there now." Dean sighed looking at me like we were idiots.

"_Wait, wait, wait. You're just gonna drive right up to-_" Sam said sounding panicked.

"Relax. It's a field, not the Death Star. Dick's at a TED Conference. It's all over The Huffington Post." Dean stated and I looked as surprised as Sam sounded on the phone.

"What?" Dean asked me looking uncomfortable.

"_Wait, wait, wait. Since when do you read?_" Sam asked laughing slightly.

"Know your enemy, Sam. What's going on with the girl?" Dean asked shrugging slightly.

"_I don't think she even knows her dad's in the life. So far, I got three missing truckers and one blood-free body._" Sam stated sighing.

"You think Vamps?" I asked plainly.

"_I'm not sure, the marks didn't look right._" Sam replied. "_I'm going to hit Dad's journal, see if there's anything in there._"

"Good times. All right, well, keep us posted." Dean stated.

"Stay safe Sam." I said softly before he hung up. As soon as we got off the phone Frank opened the trailer and popped his head out.

"Got the equipment arranged. Come and get your costume on. We can scoot." He stated as we started to walk over to him.

"_Costume_? What?" Dean asked me looking utterly confused.

"Maybe he likes to play dress up?" I joked as we reached the bottom of the trailer.

"Oh no not you princess." Frank said holding his hand up in my face.

"Excuse me?" I asked pushing his hand clear away.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked frowning at Frank.

"She ain't coming." Frank replied to Dean.

"And why not?" I asked firmly.

"Many, many reasons buttercup," Frank replied with a sarcastic smile. "For starters I only have two costumes. Then the fact you're a werewolf. Oh and thanks for sharing with the fact you were in Purgatory with them before they were brought out by your friend." Frank ranted.

"How do you know all that?" I asked utterly confused and surprised.

"It's what I do sweetheart." Frank smirked.

"She didn't have a choice Frank, Purgatory wasn't exactly planned." Dean grunted.

"Doesn't matter, she was there with them. Who knows what they did to her? She could be compromised." Frank said watching me closely.

"What?!" Dean cried out.

"It's fine Dean, just go check out the place." I sighed softly. Deep down I had no idea if Frank was right. For all I knew they could have turned me.

"Excellent, go get dressed." Frank said pushing Dean into the trailer. He closed the door as Dean went in and back me up a few steps. "You understand I can't let you in the trailer without me there."

"Yeah. I get it." I stated plainly.

"Yeah well I ain't just going to take your word you ain't going to take a sneak peek around Uncle Franks trailer either!" Frank said jabbing me with something in the leg.

"What the hell?!" I cried out pulling the needle out and starting to feel dizzy.

"Nighty night." Frank waved as I dropped to the floor blacking out.

* * *

><p>I shot up to my feet grabbing my gun from my back and moving to aim at the nearest signs of life. My head was thick and I was pretty sure I wanted a drink of water, but I needed to protect myself. I had no idea where I was, but I felt the same fear I got every time I woke.<p>

"Whoa! Whoa take it easy!" Dean said holding his hands up. I look between him and Frank who was sat there with wide eyes, watching my every movement.

"Where... where am I?" I asked not trusting my eyes, I couldn't for the life of me remember where I was. My brain jumped to the worst... I thought I was back _there_. My heart was pounding and the fog in my head wasn't lifting.

"What did you give her?" Dean growled at Frank stealing a glance.

"A little GHB." Frank shrugged like it was nothing.

"You gave my wife GHB?!" Dean growled taking a step towards Frank.

"Hey! Stay where you are, both of you!" I growled getting their attention back to me. My head was fuzzy but I needed to be sure I was around friends. "Dean, you have your switch?" I asked my gun aimed on them both.

"Yeah." Dean nodded dumbly.

"Cut yourself and Crazy over there." I said nodding to Frank. Dean held one hand out to me as he pulled the blade from behind his back, flicking it open. He sliced his palm and showed me the blood. Then rather forcefully took Franks palm and cut him too.

"Hey easy!" Frank cried pulling back his bloody hand.

"Both human... Megan you need to put the gun down." Dean said softly wrapping some cloth round his hand. My head was still thick but the blood was enough to convince me I was just drugged and not in danger. I slipped my gun back and sat on a chair.

"What the hell?" I asked looking from Frank to Dean.

"I didn't want you snooping." Frank stated as if it was obvious.

"So you drugged me?!" I asked rubbing my temples. Dean held a bottle of water under my nose.

"You might need a drink." Dean sighed softly.

"Thanks." I said opening it and taking a long drink. "Hey Crazy, it better have been worth drugging me, because I swear, I'm going to hurt you otherwise." I stated glaring at Frank.

"Don't worry cupcake." Frank said hitting some keys. Dean let a very frustrated grunt bobbing down to my level.

"You ok?" He asked softly, putting his hands on my knee's. I jumped slightly, mainly because I was still on edge. Dean noticed and frowned a little.

"Heads like cotton wool... but yeah I'm fine. Crazy over there should be the worried one." I grunted looking over at Frank and trying to give Dean a reassuring smile.

"You were whimpering in your sleep." Dean stated looking at the bottle of water in my hands rather than my eyes. I knew how uncomfortable talking about Purgatory was making him.

"They're just dreams Dean, it's not that bad. Honest." I lied giving his hand a small squeeze.

"When you two have finished, we got work to do." Frank sang with his back to us. I glared and only hoped he knew it. Dean pushed himself onto the chair next to me and sighed. On the screen came an image of the field for several different angles.

"All right, now what?" Dean grunted folding his arms over his chest.

"You look horrific. When was the last time you really slept a night?" Frank asked looking at Dean, I wasn't about to argue for weeks both me and Sam had watched helplessly as he deteriorated.

"Let's just work, all right?" Dean grumbled.

"This is it. We watch the screens. I can take the first shift. You're no use if you can't even..." Frank started to say as Dean fell asleep. "Keep your eyes open."

"Got any idea why the fields so important?" I asked softly, doing my best not to wake Dean.

"Nope buttercup, that's why we're watching it." Frank said sarcastically.

"You know you don't have to be a jack arse just because your crazy." I huffed finally feeling the fog lift from my mind and the reason we were here. We sat in silence for a while we watched the screens. I finished my bottle of water and put it down by my feet, I was finally feeling back to myself.

"You talked to Sleeping Beauty about it?" Frank asked, his eyes never leaving the screens.

"Beg your pardon?" I asked plainly.

"You know Purgatory, what they did to you." Frank asked turning to face me. I shifted uncomfortably in the chair, I'd met Frank this morning and now he was trying to talk to me about something so personal.

"You know Crazy, I'm not in the habit of opening up to strangers." I said folding my arms over my chest.

"I was just wondering." Frank shrugged holding his hands up. "Because I think we both know its only a matter of time..."

"Time?" I asked confused.

"Cupcake, Leviathans, Shape Shifters, Vampires, potato-patatoe. It doesn't matter what it was... if you don't talk about it. Eventually you end up like Uncle Frank here." Frank stated pointing a thumb to himself.

"I'm not like you." I said plainly shaking my head.

"Maybe not, but I was an average Joe once upon a time sweetheart." Frank stated staring into my eyes. The truth in his words hit me to the core but I knew it wasn't the right time to talk to the guys, not while we still had Dick to kill and Bobby's grief to deal with. I opened my mouth to say something when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I picked it up seeing it was Sam calling.

"Hey." I sighed running a hand over my face.

"_Hey, you ok?_" Sam asked softly.

"I'll explain next time I see you. What's up?" I asked looking at Dean who was out of it. A small smile crossed my lips seeing him sleeping like that.

"_I tried Dean's cell he didn't pick up._" Sam stated.

"Yeah, he's sleeping. Everything ok with the girl?" I asked pushing a few strands of hair behind my ear.

"_Yeah, I mean I think. I think her dad is hunting a Vetala._" Sam explained.

"A Vetala, isn't that a scooter?" I asked confused.

"_No,_" Sam laughed a little. "_Dad took one down back in the day. Silver knife to the heart, twist, they're done. He says they're maladjusted loner types – like to knock a guy out, drag him home, feed slow. So, if Krissy's dad got grabbed, there's a chance he might still be alive._" Sam explained.

"Here's hoping." I said with a small smile.

"_Be nice to get this girl's dad back home to her, you know?_" Sam asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, yeah it would. Do you need a hand?" I asked softly.

"_I wouldn't mind. But what about Frank?_" Sam asked and I glanced at Crazy. He had his back to me and was just watching the screens.

"I'll leave Dean sleeping here and tell Crazy to tell him know where I went. I've got my Camero, so it's ok." I said plainly.

"_Ok see you soon._" Sam replied.

"Ok, just do me a favour, don't go looking into it before I get there?" I asked knowing Sam all too well.

"_I'll try my best._" Sam replied before hanging up. I sighed knowing he probably would anyway. I stood slipping my phone into my pocket and pulling on my jacket.

"Hey Crazy." I said walking over to Frank. He turned to me, looking unimpressed with the nickname I gave him. "I need you to tell Dean I've gone to meet Sam."

"When did I become your personal assistant?" Frank asked confused.

"Oh I don't know, about the time your gave me GHB." I said with a small growl. I wrote down the address Sam was staying at and pushed it into Frank. "Tell him, and let him know he can call me. Got it?" I added glaring at Frank and I stood there leaning over him for a few seconds until he got the message not to mess with me.

"Fine, I'll let Sleeping Beauty know when he wakes." Frank huffed tucking the paper under the edge of one of the monitors.

"Don't forget." I warned before turning to walk out the trailer. When I reached Dean I placed a soft tender kiss on his forehead. "I'll be back for you." I whispered into his ear before straightening up and leaving.

* * *

><p>I drove for most of the day and finally reached the motel Sam was meant to be staying at. I had no idea what car he was driving I just had his room number. I walked over to it and knocked waiting for an answer. No one did, I tried the door and it was locked. I glanced around to make sure no one was there before picking the lock and letting myself in. I flicked on the light and saw Sam's bag neatly placed next to the bed with everything hidden out of the way.<p>

"Honey I'm home." I sang to myself as I went over and checked his bag. Everything was there and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "Where you at?" I asked myself pulling my phone out of my pocket and scrolling until I reached his number. I walked around the room as my phone continued to ring, knot forming in my stomach at each ring. "Pick up Sasquatch, pick up..." I muttered to myself.

"This is Sam leave a message and I'll get back to you." Sam voice mail kicked in and I let out another sigh.

"So, this is what you call waiting for me? I swear man, you better be getting laid or something. If your hurt... I'm going to kick the Vetala's arse then yours." I huffed ending the call and stalking back to Sam back to pull out his laptop and figure out what lead he was fallowing. I must have sat there most of the night reading John's journal, Sam's research and everything else I could find. I realised that Sam had gone and talked to the last person to see Krissy's father at the truck stop. I looked at my watch and it was around 9 in the morning. The night shift would have ended and there was no other way to contact her. I decided to take a quick shower and nap before heading out that night to find her and hopefully Sam.

* * *

><p>I woke up in a cold sweat around 5 that afternoon. I looked around and remembered where I was. The dreams were horrible, but at least they woke me in time. I got any other shower and changed into some clean clothes. I took a silver knife and shoved it down my boot before putting my gun down my back. I was sure bullets would slow it down. I grabbed a bite to eat and was about to set off when my phone rang.<p>

"Sam?" I asked hopeful.

"_No, he's not with you?!_" Dean cried out sounding annoyed.

"_See I told you._" A girls voice said in the background.

"_Now's not the time._" Dean grunted back before talking to me. "_Tell me you know where he went._"

"I got a lead, a truck stop. I'm heading there now. Where are you?" I asked softly.

"_We're heading there too._" Dean grunted.

"We?" I asked confused.

"_Yeah Krissy lost the map, she was giving me directions._" Dean replied sounding annoyed.

"Oh... that must be fun for you." I smirked a little.

"_It's a freaking dance party. Look we're a couple of hours out. Sit tight and I'll meet you at the truck stop around 7?_" Dean suggested.

"Come on we both know we don't have the time." I sighed softly.

"_Well you need to know, there's two of them._" Dean stated and I herd Krissy mutter something. "_Shut up._" Dean said to her.

"Two? The journal-" I started to argue.

"_It's wrong, trust me._" Dean sighed. "_Look, hold tight, please._"

"I can handle it. It's not like they're going to want to eat me anyway. I taste funny." I stated plainly.

"_Doesn't mean that they wont try and kill you._" Dean added seriously.

"Dean... It's ok, I can handle it." I said trying to reassure him.

"_Megan... just don't get hurt. We'll meet you at the dinner when we get there._" Dean sighed defeated.

"Keep the kid safe." I said with a small smile.

"_I will, you keep safe._" Dean replied before handing up.

* * *

><p>I decided to make sure I had enough ammo just in case there was two it never hurt to be prepared. After checking I headed out to the truck stop. It was a forty five minute ride and I reached the place a little after ten past six. I parked my baby in a spot I was sure Dean would notice and where I could keep an eye on her. I walked into the place and it seemed like a nice quiet little place. Nothing too odd or weird. I grabbed a booth in the window and glanced at the menu when a skinny blonde woman walked over to me.<p>

"What can I get you honey?" She asked smiling at me, I clocked her name badge.

"Well, um Marlene, just a coffee would be great." I sighed giving her a half smile. I realised that she was the last person to see a couple of the men who went missing from the truck stop.

"Sure. Be back in a minute." She smiled down at me before walking off to fetch my coffee. I sat looking out the window. I noticed a few people coming and going but all in all the place was dead. _No wonder it was easy to snatch the guys... place is like a grave yard._ I sighed noticing a woman walk into the back of a cab with a trucker. She was wearing next to nothing and it wasn't hard to realise what she did for a living.

"Here's your coffee." Marlene said appearing with a fresh cup of coffee. "You ok honey, you kinda down." Marlene said frowning at me slightly.

"Oh, um yeah... I'm just... oh you don't want to listen to me." I said waving a hand and getting slightly emotional.

"It ain't like I'm rushed off my feet, what's wrong?" Marlene asked sliding in the seat opposite me.

"Jeez, you're going to think I'm such a loser." I said playing with a napkin.

"Trust me honey I've seen it all here, and you don't look like a looser to me." Marlene said giving me a actually comforting smile. I stopped playing with the napkin and brushed the hair out of my face, catching the Impala that pulled into the lot.

"I met this guy online... He, um he said he was a private detective." I blushed letting out a sarcastic smile. "He looked... well Damn!" I laughed a little. "Tall, long shaggy brown hair, deep puppy dog green eyes." I let out a small smile. I watched her reaction, she was good she wasn't giving anything away.

"What happened?" Marlene asked confused.

"We were meant to meet here, tonight. I well, I came late to make sure he'd be here... but... look around, do you see any tall and handsome?" I sighed dropping my head.

"Don't worry honey. He didn't deserve you anyway." Marlene said grabbing my hands. I looked up to her and smiled.

"Thanks, I'm just going to finish this drink and go back to the motel." I said softly.

"This is on the house, look after yourself." Marlene said before getting up and walking away. I sat there and finished my coffee and saw the young hooker walking back around the truck lot.

* * *

><p>I checked that Marlene was still in the truck stop café and I left. I headed past my car and started to walk out. When I was sure no one was watching me I doubled back round to the Impala and saw the girl sat in the front with her arms folded almost glaring at Dean. I smirked as I stalked around the back of the Impala and climbed in the back making Krissy jump slightly.<p>

"Evening." I smirked as her and Dean turned to me.

"What was that about not being nervous?" Dean smirked at Krissy who just glared at Dean.

"Am I interrupting?" I asked sarcastically.

"Meg, meet Krissy." Dean said waving a hand between us.

"Wait, you're his wife?" Krissy asked confused.

"Yeah... what were expecting?" I asked confused.

"Um just I figured you'd be... blonde." Krissy shrugged.

"Blonde? Right... I could see why you'd think that." I said plainly. "But trust me, I ain't with him for his brains." I added with a smirk when she smiled at me.

"Hey! I'm sat right here!" Dean pouted slightly.

"Yeah, I can see that." I smirked as he rolled his eyes at me.

"Krissy wants to hunt with us." Dean stated as Krissy let out a heavy sigh rolling her eyes.

"Guess he gave you the lecture then?" I asked softly.

"Yeah. What now you're going to try and give me some sisterly advice?" Krissy asked dryly.

"No." I said and she looked at me confused. "I'll tell you what its like to be raised to fight. About how I had to used to wear make up to school just to hide the bruises from combat practise. The nights spent studying The Bible and all the anti-possession chants you could think of. The day's I had to walk around on swollen, dislocated or even broken bones because it made me _stronger_. I'll tell you that once your on this path it next to impossible to get off. I'll tell you that don't start unless your ready to die." I said coolly. I saw Dean catch my eye and we shared a look. I shifted slightly in my seat and cleared my throat. "I think I got a lead on who took the guys." I said quickly changing the subject.

"Really?" Krissy asked perking up.

"Marlene, she's a tall skinny waitress in the café." I said looking out to the lot.

"Let's keep an out for her then." Dean said as Krissy turned back to look out the windscreen. Dean looked at me a few more seconds before he turned and looked too. We sat there for a while just watching when we saw Marlene walk across the parking lot and got into the front of a truck, looking around making sure she wasn't being watched.

"Why is that waitress getting into that truck?" Krissy asked spotting it.

"I'm not explaining the R-rated crap to you." Dean said dryly.

"The front of the truck, not the back, Dean." Krissy said rolling her eyes at Dean.

* * *

><p>We fallowed the truck watching it park on the roadside near a building. It looked like an abandoned house, or farm barn. It was a little run down, but far enough from anything that if people where screaming no one would ever know.<br>"All right." Dean said holding his fist out to Krissy.

"What century is this? No one fist-bumps any more." Krissy said rolling her eyes.

"Come on. Give it up. Good work." Dean smirked wiggling his fist again. Krissy turned to me with an unimpressed expression.

"See what prize I got for being in this life?" I smirked sarcastically and Dean wiggled his fist again. "He wont stop until you fist bump. He's a big kid." I added with a knowing smile.

"You're a dweeb." Krissy sighed rolling her eyes but also trying to hide a small smile at the same time. She finally put her hand out and in the blink of an eye Dean grabbed it handcuffing her wrist. "What the hell?!" Krissy cried out.

"I got an idea." Dean said attaching the other half to the steering wheel. "How 'bout you stay here?" Dean smirked a little.

"Oh, you jackass." Krissy cried out pulling a little but it was clear it wasn't going to give.

"Yeah, well, I'm the jackass who ain't bringing a kid in there, period." Dean stated.

"Why? I can do everything you can do." Krissy argued.

"Look, we can't help you dad and Sam while keeping an eye on you too." I said softly and Krissy glared at me.

"I don't need to be watched!" She huffed.

"I'll bring them back. Trust me." Dean said softly.

"Please, they're probably dead." Krissy scoffed.

"You don't know that." Dean said frowning slightly.

"It's been days. Probably just a pile of meat. I've seen it. People die, Dean. I watched my mom get torn to shreds. Let me go in there and kill them." Krissy growled pulling on the handcuff.

"No. Sorry." Dean said shaking his head.

"You're such a hypocrite. How come you get to do it and I don't?" Krissy cried out.

"Because I'm the grown-up!" Dean said plainly and held his hand out. "Give it to me."

"What?" Krissy asked confused.

"Your lock pick. I will frisk you." Dean warned her. Krissy reached into her pocket and passed him the lock pick. "Thank you." Dean said getting out of the car.

"We will bring them back Krissy, we just want you to be safe." I added before climbing out the car too. I sighed heavily as I walked to the boot with Dean. "You think she'll forgive us?" I asked plainly.

"Probably not, but I don't care. We can't let her walk in there." Dean said checking he had his silver knife.

"True. Let's just go get them back." I sighed shaking my head a little.

* * *

><p>Dean picked the lock and we walked in. as we made our way through the building we found a few dead men drained of blood laid on the floor. I whistled and caught Dean's eye nodding towards Sam, Lee ,Krissy's dad, and another man tied to some chairs. The cheap hooker was stood next to the third guy while Marlene was next to Lee, it looked like Sam was still out of it.<p>

"Good thing we picked up a new one. This one's about tapped out. You want to finish him together?" Marlene said grabbing the guys neck roughly and janking it to one side.

"Sure. Love to." The other woman said smirking. Dean grabbed a metal bar and hit the cheap hooker with it making her fall to the floor. He pulled his knife out as Marlene started to charge him.

"Dean!" I yelled as I went for the cheap hooker.

"Not so fast." Marlene said hitting Dean and making him drop the knife. She slammed him into the metal cage and grabbed him by the throat. In the mean time I had rushed the cheap hooker, straddling her as I pulled out my silver blade. She realised what was happening and started to fight back. She manage to punch me, knocking me off her before she picked me up and threw me clear across the room landing on the floor by Sam's feet just as he woke up. My knife landing out of my reach. I looked up to see Dean pulling his knife and Marlene on the floor in front of her. Suddenly Krissy came running into the room past everyone and headed to her Dad.

"Dad, hold on- I got you!" She cried but as she got in line with the cheap hooker she grabbed Krissy's leg.

"No!" Lee cried as I sat on the floor shuffling to the side of Sam. The cheap hooker got up, pulling Krissy behind Lee and Sam, holding her from behind.

"Let her go... or Little Miss Sunshine here gets it." The cheap hooker hissed watching Dean who had a silver blade to Marlene's throat. Dean took his knife away and Marlene scurried past me to stand behind Lee. The cheap hooker's eyes went back to normal.

"What were you thinking, bringing her here?" Lee cried out desperate for his little girl to be ok. Dean took a step closer.

"Now drop the knife!" The cheap hooker ordered squeezing Krissy to make her point. Dean threw the knife on the floor.

"She's just a child. Let her go." Dean begged as I got to my feet slowly.

"Yeah, I don't think we'll be letting anyone go." The cheap hooker hissed smirking at all of us.

"Daddy..." Krissy began to cry and little, and I took a deep breath balling my hands into fists.

"It's okay, baby. Everything's gonna be fine." Lee said trying to comfort her.

"All right. Enough with the family bonding. It's time for you to shut up." Marlene growled before biting into Lee's neck.

"Daddy, no! Dean!" Krissy cried tears rolling down her cheeks. I couldn't take it any more. I moved forwards, my hands shaking with anger as I tried my best to keep my wolf side under control.

"Don't think about it!" Marlene said looking up at me for a second, her lips hovering over Lee's neck. "One more step and he ain't going to make it."

"He can't help you. No one can." The cheap hooker taunted Krissy. Out of no where Krissy pulled a knife out of her sleeve and spun around stabbing the cheap hooker.

"I guess I'll have to help myself, then." Krissy said twisting the knife. The cheap hookers body turned grey before she fell to the floor dead. I took the chance to race towards Marlene and we started to exchange a few punches.

"What are you?" She hissed as I was standing my ground. Suddenly Sam was standing behind her with the knife in his hand.

"Behind you." I said coldly as she turned right into the blade. Sam twisted it and dropped to the floor turning grey just like the other. We turned to see Dean checking on Lee as Krissy cut his ropes.

"Bad actress, huh?" Krissy smirked.

"Yeah, I take it back." Dean smirked back.

* * *

><p>We got Sam, Lee and the other man checked out in the hospital. Sam was given the all clear, the guys wanted to go see Lee. We walked down the hallway and Krissy was sat out side. She was sat lent forward resting on her knees. She glanced at us as we reached Lee's room.<p>

"Guy's I'll be out here." I said softly looking at Krissy. Sam and Dean nodded before heading into the room. I walked down and took a seat next to Krissy. "Hey." I smiled softly.

"Hey." Krissy smiled back.

"How's your dad doing?" I asked throwing a thumb to the room behind us.

"Better, the doctors said in the next week or so he'll be let out." Krissy said looking down at her hands. We sat in silence for a few minutes while I thought of the right words.

"It's not that easy is it?" I asked sitting back and watched the people walk past us. Hospitals freaked me out and I was trying my best to act cool about it all.

"What?" Krissy asked turning to look at me.

"Killing, even if the damn things aren't human." I admitted glancing at her for a second.

"It was hurting my dad." Krissy reasoned.

"Yeah and you did good." I said with a small smile. "But it's not always that easy." I added.

"You said you were a kid and trained..." Krissy said sitting back. "Did, did you really have to go to school hiding bruises?"

"Yeah, and the broken bones and everything else." I admitted looking out into nothing. "It wasn't a life I'd wish on any one."

"Then why didn't you get out like Sam?" Krissy asked as if it wasn't obvious.

"I did, I move to America." I said smiling at her. "I went to college and things were great."

"What changed?" Krissy asked confused. I took a second and thought of the best half truth I could come up with. I didn't want to scare the kid by telling her I was werewolf.

"Dean needed saving and I fell in love with the idiot." I sighed shaking my head a little. "But it's cost me."

"What do you mean?" She asked still confused. I pulled out my wallet and two small photos, passing them to her. The first was crumbled up to hell.

"The first are my family. All of them were killed by a demon wanting some information from me. I got them killed Krissy." I admitted sadly. "The second... it's Bobby. He... he took the bullet for me. I should have been the one shot." I wiped the tears away and took a deep breath turning to Krissy. The kid didn't need to see me breaking down.

"They died because you were a hunter?" Krissy asked passing me the pictures back.

"Yeah, they all died because of me. Look I'm not Dean or Sam. I wont tell you to get out of hunting. But I just want you to realise that one day, you might not be fast enough with a blade. Or there might not be others around to help out. One day your dad could die on a hunt and it'll leave you so lost and confused. It's a feeling I wouldn't want anyone to feel." I admitted putting the photo's back.

"Thanks for sharing." Krissy said softly leaning against the wall and taking in everything I said to her.

* * *

><p>We walked out of the hospital and Krissy fallowed us getting Dean's attention. I gave her a small smile and fallowed Sam to the Impala and Camero. We lent on them watching Krissy talk to Dean.<p>

"She's a bright kid." Sam smirked looking back at me.

"Yeah, let's hope she listens to us." I added glancing and seeing the pair bump fists. Dean walked over to us as Krissy walked back into the hospital.

"What did you say to her?" Dean asked me as we all lent on our cars.

"The truth." I shrugged.

"It worked. Looks like Krissy and Lee are out of the hunting game." Dean announced and I actually felt good. It felt like I had done something good. It was a feeling I hadn't had in a while.

"I'm glad." I smiled pulling my keys out of my pocket. "Am I fallowing you guys?" I asked softly.

"Yeah." Dean sighed as Sam climbed into the car. Dean started to head to the driver's side when he paused. "Megan?" He called out turning and walking back over to me. I was stood between the open door.

"What's up? Forget how to start a car?" I teased softly. Dean shook his head as he reached me.

"Smart ass." He muttered. "No... I wanted to talk about what you said to Krissy." He said seriously.

"Look, we all know your not the brains of the operation baby, doesn't mean I don't love you." I said trying to joke, knowing exactly what Dean was talking about.

"Just... just stop it." Dean said taking my hands. "You never told me about the bruise thing." Dean stated holding my hand. I pulled it back and sighed.

"So? There is loads I still don't know about you." I admitted acting like it was nothing.

"If you want-" Dean started to say when I groaned.

"I'm not having the whole _You've been through a hell of a lot, lets all talk and hug the shit out of it_ crap. Yeah I went somewhere worse then your worst dream, but I'm here, now. So just let me focus on that ok?" I asked firmly.

"Fine." Dean shrugged.

"Good." I said pushing my hair out my face. "We good?" I asked softly.

"Yeah. Yeah of course." Dean nodded before walking back to his car and got in. I climbed into mine and growled to myself.

"I don't need this shit. I just need to get past it. I don't need to talk about it." I growled hitting play on my radio and turning the volume up as I fallowed Dean's Impala out of the hospital parking lot.

* * *

><p>Please review and let me know what you all think =)<p> 


	18. Time After Time

Wow I am so sorry that it's been a lifetime since I updated this story. I just have lost the plot of it. I didn't really like season Seven that much and only just started watching season Eight. It's kinda give me the bug to continue this. So, sorry for the long arse wait, but hey better late than never right?

* * *

><p>Things were different now. Bobby was gone, there was no hiding that fact. None of us could bare being in the cabin. Everything reminded us of the old grump. I had stopped feeling him around. I put down my <em>feeling<em> to grief and buried it with all the other crap I had pushed deep down inside me. Helping Krissy and her dad helped us with the healing process. I think it helped us so much more than we helped them. It showed us that we could do it alone, we could fight and still make something right. I felt proud for the first time in a long time, I helped save someone and it felt good. It was a feeling I was struggling to hold onto these days. Sam was dealing better, at the moment he seemed to be handling things well, or at least that's how it felt. I hadn't seen him have an issue it awhile and I was glad about that. We'd talked about Bobby a few times, mostly sharing stories of the old drunk. I know it helped Sam move on more, he just wanted someone to listen to him. Dean on the other hand... he was drinking more and more, but his obsession with Dick Roman was worrying me the most. Dean spent all his energy researching the bastard, he spent days going over articles related to Dick and his companies. You would always find Dean, a drink in hand, studying the latest news on Dick Roman. I tried talking to him a few times about both things, but it always ended up in an argument. I was starting to think that deep down Dean blamed me for Bobby getting shot. That I was the one person he could be really angry at, to blame for all of this. It was hard because at the same time I knew how much he loved me, how much it was twisting him up inside.

_The noise, just out of reach. The scratches on non-existent walls. The darkness that surrounds everything. My heart was racing as I tried to find a way to go. Some direction. Some way out. They were surrounding me, they were just out of sight, just out of my senses. But I knew they were there. I knew it.  
><em>"_You bastards think you can scare me?!" I screamed out into the darkness, my voice surprisingly confident as I twirled on the spot. "Think again! I am getting out of here and I am making sure that no one opens this door again!" I screamed picking a direction and moving forward. The darkness moved with me, making me feel like I wasn't getting anywhere. I started to run, my heart beating in my ears as my legs moved. I had to get away! I had to run. My legs pounded on the floor thunderously as I tried in vein to escape their world.  
><em>"_You silly human." A voice bounced around me, I couldn't find its source.  
><em>"_You can't escape us." A second voice added as I shook my head.  
><em>"_Run all you want, we'll always be here-" The first voice said as I felt something brush past my skin. I repressed a scream as I ran faster, praying that I could escape the voices for a while.  
><em>"_With you." The second voice finished the sentence as something lightly touched my ankle, almost making me trip over my own feet. It took everything I had not to tumble to the floor as my body screamed for a release from this personal hell.  
><em>"_Forever." Both voices said at the same time as I felt it. It felt like rope had twined around my wrists and ankles grasping me hard, jerking me still as the coldness crept along my skin._

"No, no get off me! Get off me!" I murmured as I shot up on the bed, my eyes wide as I searched the dimly lit room. My heart was racing as I looked around and met a set of green eyes watching me carefully.

"You're safe." Dean said looking dead into my eyes. His eyes were beautiful, they could always calm me. Or at least they always could before I came back from Purgatory. I nodded a little catching my breath as I looked at my wrists rubbing them mindlessly. I could still feel _them_ holding me still. "You, um, you want to talk about it?" Dean asked making my head snap up at him. He glanced from me to his laptop screen nervously. Dean hadn't pushed me to talk since Bobby's death. We barely talked much outside of working a job or tracking Dick and the Leviathans. I turned and Sam was out cold on the bed next to me._ That guy can sleep through anything_. I curled my legs under me and shook my head. I could feel my whole body trembling at the thought of explaining that place to anyone.

"Not overly, no." I answered clearing my throat. I looked down at my wrists just to confirm that nothing was holding me down. I couldn't shake how real the dreams felt, how vivid they were.

"I think maybe we should." Dean stated as I looked up at him. He was looking my way again, a worried expression crossing his features. In his eyes I swear I saw the concern he was feeling for me. I sat there, rubbing the back of my neck as I just looked into those eyes. The hurt, the loss was washing off Dean like a storm. He was sinking fast, grasping onto anything to keep him afloat. I just wish I knew how to help. I knew talking about Purgatory wouldn't help anything.

"You still looking up Dick?" I asked changing the topic. I wanted the attention off me as quickly as possible. I couldn't stand the little heart to heart Dean was trying to force on me. I didn't want to talk about Purgatory, I didn't need to talk about Purgatory, I just needed to move on.

"We're not talking about me," Dean huffed, taking a sip of his beer. "We're talking about you." He added as he started to look annoyed. I noticed the couple of bottles on the table, clearly empty. He had been hitting the bottle hard again.

"Maybe we should talk about you." I pushed the change of topic, feeling the tension build between us. I hated the tension. It was always there, always just under the surface, waiting for the spark to ignite the fight between us.

"You need to talk about Purgatory. You can't keep it bottled up, you've seen what it does to people. I'm not trying to be Sam and do some touchy feely crap here ok? I just want my wife to talk to me, to explain why you wake up screaming, looking at everything in the room like it's about to eat you alive." Dean grunted, his hand wrapping round the beer bottle harder. I knew how worried Dean was, I'd overheard him talking to Sam about it enough times when they both thought I was asleep. But it was my problem to choose to ignore. Mine, and mine alone to deal with.

"I'm fine." I answered folding my arms over my body defensively. Dean scoffed, opening his mouth to say something else when Sam's phone started to ring loudly. Sam groaned getting up, and looking at me, then Dean.

"Don't give me that dirty-diaper look. I ain't calling you." Dean muttered as Sam picked up the phone.  
>"Hello?" Sam asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.<p>

"_Sam, it's Jody Mills. I wake you?_" Sheriff Jody Mills asked from down the line.

"The sheriff? Uh...," Sam mumbled, flicking the light on. "Yeah. Uh, I mean, uh-"

"_Listen, I got something that smells like you boys._" Jody said cutting Sam off. "_A body turned up in Canton, Ohio. Local P.D.'s trying to bury the story and the body._"

"Okay, um, so, uh, what's up with the body?" Sam asked looking over to us.

"_Well, when it went missing, it was a perfectly normal grad student named Charles Durbin. When it turned up, the thing was mummified minus the wrapping. This is actually the second body found like this in the last couple weeks. Sound like a song you boys tap to?_" Sheriff Mills asked, it sounded like she was driving.

"Yeah, yeah, that's, that's um... that's our kind of number." Sam nodded as I glanced at Dean, he was still shooting a glare my way. I let out a small sigh and turned to Sam "Hey, question– how does a sheriff in Sioux Falls get wind of a case in Ohio?"

"_I'm just that nosy. Look, after everything I've been through with you boys and..._" There was a pause from Jody, as a sad smile crossed my lips. I knew how she felt about Bobby, and how he felt about her. "_With Bobby, you know, something like this pops up on the wire, it catches my ear. What can I say?_" Jody asked clearing her throat.

"Well, we'll look into it. Thanks, Sheriff." Sam said with a small smirk of his own.

"_Call me after, okay?_" Jody asked, sounding almost like Bobby in that moment.

"Yeah." Sam promised before hanging up and shifting on the bed so that he could see the pair of us better. "That was Sheriff Mills. She caught us one." Sam announced for Dean sake.

"Oh, I feel bad. We didn't get her anything." Dean said slightly sarcastically as he took another sip of his beer. Sam glanced from me to Dean and sighed. Sam could pick up on the tension, he wasn't stupid.

"So, um.. what did I just wake into?" Sam asked looking from me back to Dean. I turned and looked as Dean matched my actions. We stared at each other for a few minutes, waiting for the other to crack.

"Nothing." We answered at the same time. Dean let out a loud sigh, looking back at his laptop as I got up and stretched a little.

"I can't believe I'm about to say this but I hope you're watching cartoon smut, 'cause reading Dick Roman crap over and over again is just self-punishment." Sam almost pleaded with Dean. I glanced towards Dean arching an eyebrow too, as he paused staring at the pair of us before closing the laptop lid down.  
>"It's called anime, and it's an art form." He stated plainly, looking straight at Sam.<p>

"Ok, if you say so." Sam laughed as he glanced to me. I wasn't laughing I was watching Dean as a frown crossed my features. "What am I missing?" Sam asked looking I me, I tore my eyes away from Dean and looked over to Sam.

"Nothing." I sighed, feeling the tension prickle across my skin. "I'm just going to get freshened up if we're going to be hitting the road soon." I sighed, walking out of the room before Sam could throw his puppy dog eyes at me to make me talk.

* * *

><p>We hit the road and drove to Canton, Ohio to check out the case that Jody Mills had thrown us. The whole ride I sat in the back looking over the case file, I refused to look up even though I knew Dean was watching me through the rear view mirror. Sam had not asked me about the tension between me and Dean, but I was pretty sure I had a talk coming from the Jolly Green. I let out a small sigh as I glanced out the passenger side window. The whole place seemed normal enough. We drove around the area searching for a place to crash where the Leviathans wouldn't be able to find us. We drove down a quiet little road and found a house surrounded by fencing. There was two signs on the outside. The first said it was 'For Auction' and the second said 'No Trespassing', it was the nicest of the dumps we had seen.<br>"Well, this looks nice. Check around back?" Dean asked looking over to Sam who just nodded and we drove off. The house was empty, we pulled the car in the drive and round the back and set up camp. I grabbed an end of a table and helped Dean move it into the living room which wasn't so bad.

"Are we talking?" Dean asked as we walked towards the windows that were covered in paper.

"I dunno, are we?" I asked with a shrug as we put the table down. Dean sighed, standing straight as he looked at me.

"Don't do that, I just... I don't want to fight, ok?" Dean asked looking down at me, as he tucked his hands into his trouser pockets.

"I'm not fighting, you are." I sighed holding my hands up in the air.

"I'm not, you just refuse to talk to me-" Dean grunted shaking his head as I cut him off.

"Just like you." I pointed out tilting my head to one side. We stood there looking at each other for a few minutes when I heard Sam moving down the stairs. "I'm talking to you, ok?" I asked shaking my head as Sam walked into the room carrying a chair.

"Well, there's a... semi-functioning bathroom and one un-rancid bedroom." Sam half laughed, half screwed his face up as he put the chair down and turned to us.

"Define semi-functioning, and do not use the words _hole in the floor_." Dean asked as I just cocked an eyebrow in agreement to Dean's question. Sam opened his mouth to answer but changed his mind and held palm flat, rising his right in a fist. He nodded to me and Dean, as I did the same. Dean jumped at the chance to play rock, paper, scissors. We all nodded and hit our palms with our fists three times.

* * *

><p>I whistled as I walked into the one un-rancid bedroom, Sam was rolling out his bedroll and looked over his shoulder smirking at me a little. I shook my head as walked over to Sam, looking down at him.<p>

"Sure you don't want to do best two out of three?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"No, I'm good." Sam smirked as he got to his feet. "What did you end with?" Sam asked smug that he had won the best bathroom.

"I won the floor in the living room, sharing with Dean." I admitted sighing as if on queue Dean walked into the room and stood near the door looking at the pair of us.

"How does paper beat a rock? It's stupid." Dean asked shaking his head at the pair of us. I turned to Sam and the smile just grew on his lips as Dean sighed walking out the room, muttering something about cheating to himself.

"Do you think he'll ever learn that he always picks rock?" I asked with a sad smile on my lips.

"I think he let's me win." Sam answered honestly. "He cares about us too much."

"Wish he'd let me win sometimes." I muttered wrapping my arms around me and walking out of the room.

* * *

><p>We set up camp, before heading to the local police office. We grabbed a copy of the files and asked for any extra info they had. Of course the whole force was trying to deny any of the mummy corpse stuff so hadn't really looked into it. We pulled outside the address of a witness and I passed the file to Dean to look at. It had a picture of the mummified Charles Darbin corpse.<br>"Kids playing hide-and-seek found the body." Sam explained to Dean as I took a sip of my tea.

"Wow. Very King Tut." Dean smirked looking up at the pair of us.

"Yeah, so, uh, this is where the eyewitness to the assault lives." Sam explained nodding his head to the house in front of us.

"But the cops are calling him an unreliable witness." I added sighing a little.

"Because?" Dean asked looking up from the file.

"Let's find out." Sam nodded, taking the lead to the house. We walked up the porch and knocked on the door waiting for someone to answer. A man opened the door wrapped in a blanket. As he answered the door we all held out our I.D badges.

"Special Agent Smith. This is, uh, Special Agent Smith. No relation. And this is Special Agent Stone." Dean introduced all three of us to the man. He was chubby, mid thirties I'd guess and gave off the stoner vibe from the start.  
>"Whoa. Do you mind if we, uh... My mom's sleeping in there." The man asked closing the door behind him and walked outside. "S-so, how can I...?" He looked at all three of us a little lost.<br>"Oh, we, uh, we had a few questions about the incident you witnessed in the alley." Sam asked realising that we really hadn't stated why we were there.

"You just gonna laugh at my story like the rest of the suits?" The man asked glancing at all three of us.

"We're not gonna laugh at you." Dean said as the man glanced at me and I tried to give a reassuring smile.

"All right, well, I'm on the steps... _medicating_... when I hear fighting. So I look. There's my neighbour Durbin, and some dude dressed like my grandpa's got him by the neck, right?" The man said being very animated with his explanation, his hands hovering in the air strangling it.

"What do you mean he looks like your grandpa?" Dean asked butting in a little.

"Uh... Snappy shoes, suit, one of those, um, Justin Timberlake hats." The man answered waving a handover his own head. Sam looked at the pair of us confused for a moment.

"Y,you mean a, a fedora?" Sam asked looking back at the man.

"Aha!" The man cried out clicking his fingers together.

"Did you see anything else?" I asked keeping my whole body language neutral, though I was getting why the police had seen why he was an unreliable witness.

"This red, like, energy passed through Durbin to hat guy. Even my watch stopped." The man answered looking dead into my eyes before turning to Sam and Dean. "Durbs... he aged before my eyes. He looked like a raisin." The man said shocked, his eyes widening as if he was remembering it all over again.

"Well, we believe you." Sam said with a quick smile. The man started to nod in appreciation, a small smile crossing his lips.

"Oh!" He smirked at Dean.

"Thanks for your help." Dean said with a small nod as the man smirked at all of us for not making fun of him.

"Thank you, officer – officers." The man smirked, nodding at all three of us before we turned to leave. As we were heading down the stairs Dean caught my eye.

"Wow." Was all his said but I couldn't hide the smirk on my lips as I nodded a little in agreement.

* * *

><p>We headed back to the house and started to hit the research. We didn't bother getting change, we just wanted to get on with the case. Both Sam and I were working on our laptops as Dean sat in the middle while he leafed through his dad's journal for any hints of what we could be hunting. Dean let out small sigh putting his dad's journal on the table.<p>

"Yep. Nothing that turns a dude into a Crypt-keeper. You?" He asked looking up to us before checking his beer. He kicked his feet off the cooler and pulled out three new beers passing two to me and Sam.

"Uh, well, greater Canton turns out kind of a hot spot for weird dead bodies." Sam said not looking up from his laptop.

"Hmm. You don't say." Dean answered blowing on the top of his beer can before opening.

"Shockingly, there's actually quiet a lot in the news archives." I answered taking my beer and resting it by the side of my laptop. Sam turned his laptop to face Dean and so that I could see a little myself.

"They're not exactly reporting, uh, mummifies. But still, uh,1928..." Sam explained as he pulled up articles I had already look at, some of the titles read _Another Shrivelled Body Found_ and _Spontaneous Combustion Claims Life of Young Man_ they all looked similar to what we were looking into. "Three deaths cited as spontaneous combustion. Bodies, quote, shrivelled_ despite no signs of fire._" Sam read out loud, glancing between me and Dean.

"Little stretch, but okay." Dean admitted nodding as his eyes scanned the screen.

"Ok, what about it happening again in '74 three bodies found with leathery decay." I added looking up from my screen.

"Uh, '57," Sam added hitting a button on his keyboard. "Three more. Severe dehydration. This time one made the front page." Sam added hitting another key and bringing up the old newspaper article. I looked over to Sam screen and saw a young girl stood near a policeman as she pointed to a corpse. In the background are a woman talking to another policeman and two men, one of whom is wearing a fedora and long coat. "Girl named Terry Cervantes found a corpse near her church." Sam added pointing to the little girl in the picture.

"Any pattern here other than the location?" Dean asked looking over to Sam.

"Random vics, random years. But they seem to drop in threes." Sam said glancing over to me for confirmation as I just nodded.

"That's two down, one to go. All right, let me drive for a sec." Dean asked, taking the laptop from Sam.

"What, are you gonna look up more anime, or are you strictly into Dick now?" Sam joked looking over to me. I rolled my eyes as I looked at what Dean was actually doing. He had loaded a Securi-Net Webcam sight, bringing up ten different security cameras. I looked genuinely impressed with Dean and his skills. I nodded for Sam to take a look and as he glanced Sam lost his smile.

"Hmm." Dean hummed hitting a few more keys.

"Are those local feeds?" Sam asked impressed and as surprised as I was.

"Yeah." Dean smirked at me and Sam, so proud of himself that I couldn't help but smile back.

"How did you do that so fast?" Sam asked in utter shock at his brothers skills.

"A little tutorial from Frank. Don't worry. We'll pretend this never happened." Dean chuckled as I smirked at the pair of them "Now, mummy numero dos was, uh, found at the Gas n' Sip near Main Street, correct?" Dean asked looking at the screen.

"Yeah." I answered as Dean managed to pull up the security feeds for round the Gas n' Sip.

"All right, well, here's all the cameras around that store." Dean smirked leaning back in his chair.

"You need to teach me that trick." Sam smirked in awe of his big brother.

"Who knew you could be such a nerd?" I teased as Dean just gave me a small nod before as all looked at the screens.

"Hey, check it out – Timberlake." Dean commented pointing to a feed that hand a man wearing a fedora and a long coat.

"Wait a sec." Sam hummed, taking the laptop back from Dean.

"You can't let me bask in the glory for one second, can you?" Dean asked half joking as he shook his head at his baby brother.

"Shut up. Look." Sam hushed, hitting a few keys before turning the screen back round to us. On the screen was a close-up of the man from the security feed and a close-up of the man in the fedora and coat from the old newspaper article.

"He hasn't aged a day, has he?" Dean asked as we both agreed with him. "All right, well, if he's been popping up for decades now, then somebody's bound to know who he is, right? Is there any chance that, uh, Terry's still local?" Dean asked as I started to hit keys on my laptop searching for the little girls in the photo.

* * *

><p>We managed to track Terry down. She still lived in town and was now working in the local hospital as a doctor. From what I could tell, she hadn't experienced anything else supernatural in her life.<br>"You know it's so pretty in the spring. Everything's blooming. That's why I walked home that way, to see the flowers. Instead, I found that body. I still have no idea what could have done that to a person." Terry answered as we showed her the photo from the old newspaper article.

"Do you recognize that man?" Dean asked pointing to the fedora man.

"Yeah. I mean, he lived on my parents' street. Mr. Snider." Terry said studying the picture for a moment.

"Where'd you say your parents live?" Dean asked and Terry gave us the address.

* * *

><p>We decided to stake out the house in hopes that the fedora man was still hanging around town and using his old home as his base. We got changed and headed out. We pulled up on the street Terry gave us and waited. Dean and Sam went for take-out while I babysat the car. We spent most of the day watching and waiting. The night came and we still had no sign of the fedora hat man.<br>"So, what exactly is this thing? Some sort of vampire who got too sucky?" Dean asked sipping on his straw.

"Nope. Coroner's reports said there was blood in both bodies. 300-year-old blood, but blood." Sam sighed as he chewed on his food.

"We basically have no idea." I added rolling the tinfoil into tiny balls, ready to start throw into Sam's hair when he wasn't paying attention. I was getting that bored. I glanced up as someone came out of the house.

"Dude, dude. Uh, fedora dude." Dean cried out looking out the window as the fedora man walked along the pavement and turned down the alley. "All right, let's do this. Let's move fast." Dean cried out, checking his gun and cocking it before tucking it down his jacket pocket.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the plan here, exactly?" Sam asked as I checked my gun too.

"Don't die." Dean answered getting out for the car.

"Brilliant plan." I huffed as me and Sam quickly followed Dean and hurried after the fedora man.

"He's heading Down town. All right, you take the street. We'll take the alley. We'll meet you in the middle." Dean said nodding for Sam to go down the street and for me to follow Dean. We split up and I walked side by side with Dean silently, keeping my eyes open for the fedora man.

"You know, you really need to come up with better plans than _don't die._" I said softly as we moved down the alleyway.

"Hey, it's a good plan. A solid plan." Dean smirked at me as we turned the corner and saw the fedora man kneeling over another man. It looked like he was cradling the other man's head, a red light leaving the man's face. The fedora man seemed to be absorbing the light, almost feeding off it. It was unlike anything that I had ever seen before.

"Dean?" I asked, not sure how we were going to approach the guy.

"Son of a..." Dean cursed softly before running towards the fedora man.

"Dean?!" I cried out shaking my head as I was seconds behind Dean. The red light was completely absorbed by the fedora man and he let his victim fall to the ground before standing up and looking in our direction. He didn't have time to react as Dean tackled the fedora man to the floor. The fedora man, managed to get Dean on his back and I grabbed hold of his shoulders ready to rip him off Dean when there was an explosion of red and white light. As the light faded the fedora man elbowed me in the face knocking me off him and continued to tussle with Dean.

"That hurt." I growled moving forward as Dean grabbed the fedora man's wrist. I went to punch the man but he grabbed my fist and pushed me back with so much force that I fell on the floor as he pulled his hand free and raced down the alleyway to the exit.

"Hey!" Dean cried out getting to his feet the same time as me; we raced down the alley after the monster. "Hey!" Dean cried out drawing out his gun as we reach the street. "Hey!" He cried out as we both stopped in our tracks. We looked around, there was something seriously wrong. The way people were dressed, the cars, the shop windows, it all looked 1940's.

"Dean?" I asked softly, looking at him as two policemen got out of patrol car and pointed their guns to Dean.

"Hey, you! Drop the gun! Put it down! Drop the gun!" They yelled as everyone around us looked utterly confused.

"You have a plan, right?" I whispered glancing around at everything.

"Yeah, don't die." He replied as I shot a look at him.

"Drop it!" The police yelled drawing my attention away from Dean.

"All right." Dean shouted back, dropping his gun to the ground as the policemen advanced on us.

"Don't die.." I scoffed shaking my head.

* * *

><p>We were both arrested and handcuffed with silver handcuffs. They were burning my wrists and it was taking everything I had not to wolf out and snap out of the damn things. I refused to say anything while the policemen tried to get information out of us. Unlike Dean who just kept saying he was with the FBI. The policeman stepped out of the room, he told us it was a chance for the pair of us to get our stories together.<p>

"How are you holding up?" Dean asked looking at me.

"My wrists are burning, there is silver in these cuffs Dean. I am not good." I grunted out shifting my jacket sleeve and showed Dean the red skin.

"Crap, let's just get out of here." Dean huffed looking at the cuffs for some way to break into them.

"And go where? They'll get the whole force looking for us, and we have no idea how to find the fedora dude, we're stuck." I grunted out trying my best to not touch the sides of the cuffs but it really wasn't working.

"Yeah, but we can't stay here with you like this." Dean huffed, biting the chain of the handcuffs as the door opened and the same policeman walked back in. He sat down opposite me and started going through our stuff. "Okay, can I just-" Dean started to say when the policeman shot Dean a look.

"Don't. Listen to me. Hey, if you tell me you're from the Bureau one more time, I'm gonna air you out myself. Got it?" The policeman threatened us before turning on Dean's mobile phone. "_No signal_. Are you some kind of Jerry spy?" The policeman asked looking at Dean suspiciously.

"Jerry who?" Dean asked, genuinely confused.

"And a terrible one at that." The policeman huffed picking up Dean's badge and flashing it at us. "This badge was issued 68 years from now. Ace work, kraut-muncher." He added scoffing at the pair of us. _68 years from now... that would make it 1944... crap!_ I turned to Dean as I realised the date and saw him counting on his fingers.

"Need a little help?" I whispered softly.

"Shush, I'm working it out." Dean muttered as he re-counted something on his fingers. I rolled my eyes as the policemen looked at the pair of us with a dead pan expression. "'44? We're stuck in 1944?!" He cried out, looking from the policeman to me.

"We're all stuck in 1944, ya bunny." The policeman cried out as a man entered the room. The policeman got up from the table and straightened his uniform, putting his cap on before walking over to the man. We couldn't see the man because he was up some stairs and his face was hidden by the light in the room.

"Take a powder." The man forcefully suggested to the policeman.

"Yes, sir." The policeman nodded, leaving the room without a second look to the pair of us.

"Look I don't even like frigging sauerkraut, okay, so you can just skip the-" Dean started to rant as the man stood at the top of the stairs watching the pair of us.

"What happened in the alley? And paint me a real picture." He asked walking down the stairs, he was dressed in a smart suit, and tie, long brown coat and black fedora on his head. I turned to Dean as he looked at me. We shared a silent conversation about telling the truth. The best outcome I could see was they sent us to a mental hospital. It would be easier to break out of there than the police station and I think Dean agreed.

"All right, well, we're "twelve monkeyed" no matter what I say, so here goes. We were chasing this dude. Uh, I'd just seen him mummify a guy. Yeah. So, I jumped him. He goes to knock my lights out, so she grabbed his shoulders. He lights up red. Poof, we're in 1944." Dean explained as I just watched this man. He paused for a moment before tossing a folder onto the table and sitting down across from Dean.

"Tell me more about the red light." He asked seriously, not mincing his words.

"Are you seriously asking-" Dean asked as the man cut him off.

"You want out of this jail, you're gonna tell me everything you can about that man and the so-called light." The man asked clearly interested in what we were saying.

"Okay. I saw it, she saw it and then we were here." Dean said nodding to me. The man darted his eyes to me and I just held the look for a moment.

"It's a power source most likely. Something he needs to jump through time, is my guess." I spoke up for the first time since we were arrested. Dean cocked an eyebrow at me and I just shrugged. The more crazy we sounded the easier it would be to convince them to put us in a mental hospital.

"Would you say that, uh... it was all around you or that more that it came from inside this fella?" The man asked sighing as he formed his sentence.

"You believe us." Dean stated leaning forward on the table. "Are you...? You're a hunter." He smirked towards the man.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The man answered leaning back in his chair.

"Demons, ghosts, shifters. Hey, we've killed 'em all. And you're the same. Just 68 years before us, huh?" Dean asked still smirking at the guy. The man let out a sharp breath and held his hand out to Dean.

"And your name is?" He asked as Dean shook the guys hand with the handcuffs on.

"Dean...Winchester." Dean answered with a warm handshake.

"Ness. Eliot Ness." Eliot Ness answered as a wide grin crossed Dean's face as Ness held his hand out for me to shake. "And you are Miss?" He asked me, ignoring Dean's expression of awe.

"Megan, Megan Winchester." I answered shaking his hand too. Ness clocked my wrist instantly.

"What have they done to your wrists?" Ness asked, taking my wrist and examining it.

"I'm having an allergic reaction to your cuffs." I answered honestly as he pulled a key out of his pocket and instantly let me out of them. "Thanks." I added with a small smile rubbing the raw skin and instantly feeling the pain ease.

* * *

><p>Eliot Ness left us, said he was going to take care of the local police and just to sit tight. There wasn't much we could do, they had taken our guns, all we had were our phones and watches. I rubbed my wrists as they were healing, the redness had already faded to a warm pink.<p>

"How do they feel?" Dean asked walking over from the window to me.

"A little sore, stupid silver." I muttered as Dean took my wrist and placed a soft kiss on them. It was as affectionate as he had been in a long time. "Thanks." I smirked as he nodded, rubbing his thumb over the warm skin.

"All better." He smirked before shaking his head, the smile plastered on his lips. "I just can't believe it!" He cried out getting to his feet.

"Eliot Ness." I said dryly knowing Dean too well.

"Eliot Ness! The Eliot Ness!" Dean beamed looking out of the window. "I just-"

"Try to control that inner fan girl of yours Dean, we need him to help us out." I teased as the door opened and Eliot Ness walked down the stairs towards us. Dean turned as he walked into the room and grinned at the man.

"I-I got to tell you, I mean, _Untouchables_ is, like, one of my most favourite movies ever." Dean ranted at the poor guy, he had barely got in the room and Dean was fan girling all over him.

"What?" Ness asked confused. His eyes darted to me and I just shrugged, not sure how to explain Dean to Ness.

"I must have seen that thing, like, 50 times." Dean beamed resting his hands on the back of the chair,

"_Seen it?_ What, like, I'm in the-" Ness asked impressed and a little curious.

"Oh, yeah, yeah! You don't even know! Oh, you are – pbht!" Dean was beaming at the man, it took everything I had not to roll my eyes at him.

"Look, hey, wait, wait, wait. Let's just... slow it down. Okay? Now, time travel. Is that something you find up a lot of sleeves in the future or?" Ness asked taking a seat opposite me.

"Not so much." I answered as Dean took a seat next to me.

"No, it's, uh, not normally on the menu. Trust me. We're as surprised as you are that we're here." Dean added shaking his head.

"How's you wrists feeling now?" Ness asked turning his attention back to me.

"A lot better, thank you." I answered with a small smile, Mr Ness returned. He looked at the pair of us and let out a small laugh.

"So we're hunting the same thing, just in different centuries." Ness chuckled pushing a folder towards as he opened the one in his hands. I shifted a little closer as Dean opened the folder on the table so I could get a good look too. "Two bodies. A few days apart just a little over a month ago. One witness said that she saw an assailant light up red after sucking the life out of a man." Ness explained as we looked over the pictures. It was our guy alright, everything matched up.

"Awesome." Dean muttered sarcastically, we both knew what it meant when there was two bodies and it was anything but good.

"How does that fill you with awe? Look, Dean, this thing, it kills-" Ness shook his head at Dean utterly confused by his choice of words.

"In threes." Ness, Dean and I said all at the same time. Dean looked up at Ness and nodded with as smirk.

"But you already know that." He said tipping his head to Ness.

"He's two down. You're coming with me. We've got to get this thing before it grabs the last one." Ness said getting to his feet the same time as me and Dean.

"Okay, so, so, wait, uh... Does... does this mean that I'm an Untouchable now?" Dean asked smirked at me, and nudging my shoulder. Ness just looked at the pair of us blankly.

"I'm sorry, he just gets excited too easy. He's going to be like this for a while." I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose as Ness just gave me an understanding nod.

"It means we got to get you two into some new clothes. You both look like some kind of bindlestiffers." Ness said turning and heading out of the room.

"Stiff your br – bin – what?" Dean asked utterly confused as we followed Ness out of the room.

* * *

><p>Ness drove me and Dean to a tailor's shop. He insisted that I sat up front, making Dean sit behind me. I think it was because Dean kept looking at Ness and giving him this kinda creepy fan girl, I mean it was freaking me out a little. We pulled up and we all climbed out of the car. Dean smirked, looking round at everyone and everything in awe. Ness opened the door for me and I started walking in when I noticed Dean was still looking around. Ness sighed, grabbing Deans arm and pulling him into the tailor shop. There was a woman, around Bobby's age, measuring some trousers, she didn't even look up as we walked in.<p>

"What's the rumpus, Eliot?" She asked looking up at me and Dean confused.

"Ezra Moore. Megan and Dean Winchester." Ness introduced us.

"Hello." I said with a polite smile.

"Hey." Dean said with a quick now.

"Where did you find these two? Some farm or something?" Ezra asked cocking an eyebrow at me.

"They're, uh, from the future." Ness said slightly uncomfortably.

"Yeah. Gas costs four bucks. You can get cheese out of a spray can. And... the President, he's a black guy. I could go on." Dean smirked as he rolled off some facts off the top of his head.

"Paint me impressed." Ezra said moving closer to the pair of us. "I assume you need some clothes. Come on." She said taking Dean's arm and leading him away. "Don't worry, I'll be back for you in beat sweetheart." Ezra said disappearing with Dean.

"Super." I muttered turning to Ness and giving him a small smile as he went and took a seat. There was a silence that fell between the pair of us. I wasn't Dean, I wasn't fan girling over Elliot Ness. I was too busy thinking about how to get back, how to try and get back to Sam and kill Dick.

"So you two married I take it?" Ness asked taking off his coat and hat, dumping them by the side of him. His voice broke the silence and pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to him and gave him a small nod.

"Yeah, a few years now." I admitted looking around the shop. It was just your typical high class tailor shop. Most people wouldn't even think twice about looking in.

"You're a Limmie,right?" Ness asked confused, studying me as I looked around the shop.

"Yeah, born and raised. But being a hunter-" I started to say when Ness cut me off.

"You're a hunter too?" He asked looking utterly surprised.

"Yeah! I was long before I met Dean." I said tilting my head to one side, screwing my face up a little. "Why?" I added folding my arms over my chest.

"It's just... well hunting isn't exactly women's work. Research sure, but actually out there. You could get hurt sugar." Ness frowned, getting up and walking over to me. There was a mixture of being patronisingly and condensing.

"I think you'll find I more likely to do the hurting." I admitted smirking up at Ness. He looked into my eyes for a few minutes before shaking his head.

"I can't believe Dean allows you to do such dangerous work." Ness said walking away from. "Someone as beautiful as you, it would kill me inside if you got killed out there."

"Allows me?!" I scoffed out making Ness turn to me. "Dean... things have changed, a lot. Women do pretty much whatever job they want, no matter if they are married or not." I explained shaking my head a little in disbelief. I scoffed shaking my head as I looked back over to Ness.

"Are all women so hot headed and opinionated as you?" Ness asked with a smirk as he sat back down on the buffet.

"You better believe it." I said putting my hands on my hips as Ezra came back in.

"You got a firecracker here Ezra, I'd be careful if I was you." Ness teased as Ezra looked between us.

"I don't want to know what I walked in. Come on, let's get you dressed too." Ezra said leading me into the back to find some clothes.

* * *

><p>"I am not wearing this!" I shouted through the door. "How am I meant to do <em>anything <em>in this?!" I grunted shaking my head. "Not to mention, what have you done to my hair?!" I cried out feeling ridiculous.

"Come on out Meg, it can't be _that _bad." Dean shouted from out in the shop floor.

"No!" I shouted back. "No way!" I huffed folding my arms over my chest.

"The sooner you get out here, the sooner we can gank this monster and get outta here." Dean called back. I stood pouting for a moment knowing he was right, but I really didn't want to come out.

"I hate you Dean Winchester." I huffed, opening the door and walking out of the changing room. I walked out into the shop floor and sighed, dropping my arms to my side. "This is stupid. I look like some freaking Barbie doll or something." I huffed at my feet as the room was silent. I was wearing a red dress, it was classic 1940's style with matching red heels, my hair was in curls pinned up to be in fashion and I felt ridiculous. I looked up and Ness and Dean were just stood there watching me. They shared the same smile, both men looking lost in a thought. I looked at Dean and noticed he looked really good in the smart brown suit. He was wearing a black tie and even had a crisp white shirt. He looked stunning, he'd even parted his hair to one side. It just made me want to smile.

"I told you fem-fatal." Ezra said adjusting the skirt a little.

"You look breathtaking." Ness said breaking the silence between the guys. Dean blinked and looked at Ness before clearing his throat and walking over to me.

"You look, just..." Dean smirked as he took me in with one long look.

"I can't move, these shoes, not gonna be running in them anytime soon. I hate this, she wouldn't make me a suit." I huffed looking over at Ezra.

"I told you! You'd stand out too much in a suit, a pretty little thing like you should stand out in a dress!" Ezra argued back as I just rolled my eyes. "Don't be rolling those eyes at me!"

"You look great, really." Dean beamed at me as he put his hands on my hips. I took another good look at Dean and smirked up at him.

"I guess you look alright too." I teased. "I could get used to you in a suit." I added, dusting down his shoulders.

"Do you two want a room, or can we get back to it?" Ness teased breaking the moment between us. I sighed taking a step back from Dean's hands, but he captured my hand in his, not letting me move away from him. It made me smile a little.

"So, spill already. What bucket of syrup did you three idjits step into?" Ezra asked shaking her head at the three of us. Both me and Dean let out a small chuckle. She was more like Bobby then I could put into words. "Something funny, sweetheart?" She asked Dean cocking an eyebrow.

"No, you, uh... You just kind of remind me of someone." Dean said glancing at me as I nodded in agreement.

"Okay, Ezra... we need your help. It seems we're hunting a time traveller." Ness announced looking over at the woman.

"Delightful." Ezra replied sarcastically, yet unphased by anything.

* * *

><p>Ezra fished around and pulled out a few books for us all to look at. I grabbed a book and started to go through it. The shop was silent as everyone was reading through their respective books. I felt a pair of eyes on me and looked up catching Dean watching me. Not just watching, studying me, it was like he never wanted to forget what I looked like in that moment. I gave him a warm smile, one he returned before I went back to looking at my book. A couple of hours passed, every now and again I would catch Dean watching me, studying me contently.<p>

"This might be it." I announced, passing the book Ezra who nodded in agreement.

"It's the infinite hourglass." She read from the page as Ness and Dean got up and came and looked at the book too.

"That's the symbol I saw on his ring." Dean nodded, looking at all of us.

"Yeah, that's the mark of Chronos." Ezra confirmed with a heavy sigh.

"Who?" Dean and Ness asked at the same time.

"The God of time." I answered as I rubbed my temple.

"Another God, must be a Thursday." Dean sighed shaking his head.

"It is Thursday." Ness stated as Dean looked from the man to me. "So what's the deal with this God?" Ness asked me and Ezra.

"Well legend says Chronos would jump through time, constantly drifting for all eternity. Back in his glory days he would have been short of invincible." Ezra explained, reading from the book I passed her. "They got all their power from the worshippers who sacrificed themselves." She added.

"Only now, no body remembers these B-side Gods." Dean stated as I nodded.

"Yeah, but they aren't as powerful anymore, sure. Doesn't stop the wrath though." I huffed shaking my head a little.

"So why is this, this, Chronos killing people?" Ness asked looking at all three of us.

"Could be he's killing folks for his time juice." Ezra suggested with a small shrug as she put a gun into a holster. Dean tucked a flask into his jacket pocket as I just skim read the page again in case we missed anything.

"All right, well, how the hell are we gonna ride him back to 2012?" Dean asked looking over at me.

"Pass." I said holding my hands up in the air.

"Well, you could let him grab you, if you don't mind him using you for gasoline." Ezra suggested making both me and Dean frown a little.

"Look, let's just stick with what we know. Ezra, see if you can find something in all this junk that will kill a God." Ness said looking over to Ezra. By her expression she was used to this kind of request from Ness.

"No trouble at all." Ezra said sarcastically. "Come in a few hours, see what I can scrounge up." She added with a small sigh. Ness turned to Dean as he slipped his coat on.

"You said you fellas found his house? Well, let's go see if it's been built yet. And then let's kill that bastard, because that-" Ness started to say when Dean cut him off putting on his own fedora hat.

"Is the Chicago way." Dean smirked, coping Sean Connery's voice as best he could.

"_Chicago way?_" Ezra asked utterly confused, looking over to Ness for help.

"Who talks like that?" Ness asked shaking his head at Dean.

"Sean Connery." Dean said still in the same fake accent.

"Come on." Ezra rolled her eyes as she helped Dean put his coat on.

"Never watch that movie again." Dean muttered as he put the gun in the holster. I walked over to grab a coat when Ness grabbed my arm.

"You're not going with us sweetheart." Ness said letting go of my arm. I looked over to Dean who looked like he had been asked to choose between a lifetime subscription to Busty Asian Beauty or the keys to the Playboy Mansion. I looked back at Ness and held my ground.

"I am." I said putting my coat on.

"Look, I get you think you can handle things, but trust me sweetheart this is my call and I am not putting you in danger." Ness said almost patronisingly. I scratched my ear and looked to the floor before looking up at Ness.

"I got an idea for you-" I almost growled at him. Ness smiled down at me and I just wanted to punch him- hard.

"Megan!" Dean said walking over to my side. "Maybe you could help Ezra find a weapon to kill Chrono?" Dean suggested trying to keep the peace. I never looked away from Ness.

"Ness, if I can get your gun, before you can stop me, will you let me go with you?" I asked ignoring Dean.

"You think you can take my gun off me?" Ness smirked, looking over to Ezra who was smiling too.

"Yeah, I do." I said plainly when Dean sighed a little, backing away and standing next to Ezra.

"Ok then sweetheart, impress me." He joked looking down at me like I couldn't stop a paper bag. I took a deep breath and smiled at Ness. I kicked his shin, forcing Ness to put weight on his opposite foot. I used the momentum to push his shoulder, but as I brought my arm back he grabbed my wrist firm. He was using me to keep his balance, as I juttered forward throwing his balance off once again and reached inside for his gun with my left hand. I grabbed the gun with ease, tucking it into the belt round the back of the dress I was wearing. Ness twisted my wrist, tugging me forward so that I fell into his body as he got his balance.

"Nice try." He said reaching round my back to where the gun was. I smirked bringing my leg up and attempting knee him between the legs, but he clamped his legs round mine.

"Thanks." I smirked pushing myself forward with all my weight knocking Ness on to his back. As we fell I rolled over him, getting to my feet and aiming the gun at his head all before he had time to move. He looked up from the floor at me and raised his hand a little.

"Well colour me impressed again." Ezra said from the side of Dean as he moved to help Ness onto his feet.

"She always like this?" Ness asked looking over at me as I passed him the gun back.

"Only when she wants to prove a point." Dean sighed looking over at me.

"Look, you can come with us, but you gotta listen to me ok? We doing things different round here, usually broads don't go round killing things." Ness said looking genuinely impressed with me and my skills.

"You're the boss." I said nodding a little as Ezra passed me a small handgun.

* * *

><p>We drove to the house we knew Chronos was staying in. The drive I was sat in the back watching the streets go past. I could feel both Dean and Ness glance at me in the rear view mirror. Dean was still studying me, almost like he didn't want to forget how I looked. Ness, I couldn't quite work out Ness and I got the feeling that he felt the same way. His eyebrows would furrow together. I caught his glance a couple times and saw Ness shift uncomfortably before focusing back on the road. We pulled up to the house and Ness walked around holding the door open for me.<p>

"Um thanks." My eyes glanced to Dean who shrugged his shoulders as I got out of the car.

"You act like no one opens the door for you." Ness smirked as I brushed my dress down a little.

"Um, well I'm not sure when the last time was." I added as Dean came and stood next to me.

"It's a shame." Ness shrugged, glancing at Dean before we headed to the front door. As we walked up the porch the place looked so empty.

"It looks empty. You got a lock pick?" Dean asked looking to me and Ness.

"Sure." Ness answered with a smirk before kicking the door in and pulling out his gun as he stormed in. I glanced to Dean surprised as he just shrugged pulling out his own gun and fallowing Ness back in. "Take a look around. Where's he getting all the lettuce to support this?" Ness asked as we broke up and started looking around the house. I looked around and couldn't see any reason how he could afford everything he had. Dean let out a small whistle as I turned and saw him holding a racing journal.

"He's using the _Biff strategy._" Dean smirked, shaking his head a little. I gave Dean a small smirk as Ness just looked utterly confused.

"Using what? One of you two want to fill me in?" He asked frowning at the pair of us.

"He's – Chronos is betting on races he already knows the outcome of." Dean explained smirking as Ness walked over to him. "Look at this." Dean added showing Ness the book that dated from 1944.

"He's spent a lot of time in '44." Ness commented, glancing up at me.

"Yeah." Dean added pointing some initials in the book. "What's L.Y.?" He asked glancing at me and Ness for an answer. I shrugged as it seemed to mean something to Ness.

"It's not a what. It's a who. Lester Young. He lays bets for a lot of the flunkies in town. Let's say we go pay him a visit." Ness smirked widely.

"Alright then." Dean smirked, he was like a kid on go to work with your father day. I hadn't seen him this excited in years.

* * *

><p>Ness and Dean picked up Lester and we took him to the police station. The guy was some skinny book maker who looked terrified that Dean and Ness had arrested him. I knew it wouldn't take us long to get him to talk.<p>

"Dean take him in for me." Ness grunted passing Lester to him. Dean glanced at me and Ness before pulling him into the room and sitting him down at the table.

"Let me guess, this is men's work too?" I asked cocking an eyebrow as Ness looked at me.

"You got that right sweetheart." Ness smirked down at me as his eyes locked with me.

"You know this is complete-" I started to say when Ness shook his head.

"This is the times. Dames, especially as stunning as you, they don't get their hands dirty." Ness butted in putting his hands on my shoulders. "It's nothing personal, just the way it is."

"You know, the sooner I get back home, the better." I huffed shaking his hands off my shoulders.

"Just sit at my desk until we're done." Ness pointed to a desk near by. "And try not to cause any trouble would ya?" He added smirking as I rolled my eyes.

"As if I could do anything in this damn dress anyway." I huffed walking over to the desk and sat down, giving him a fake smile as Ness chuckled and walked into the interview room. I sat tapping my fingers on the desk as it felt like every officer in the building was walking past to get a good look at me. Now don't get me wrong, since I changed I know there's _something_ about me that makes people take a second glance, but it felt magnified in the building. After twenty minutes I was starting to get ready to snap at the next guy who gave me a smirk, a wink or just plain stared at me like a piece of meat.

"Miss are you an actress?" A young officer asked as behind him I could see a few of them watching us. I looked up at the guy and took a deep breath.

"No, sorry." I answered tapping my fingers louder against the desk.

"Well you should be. I mean you are the prettiest things I have ever seen." He added glancing over his shoulder to the small group and grinning. "Say, would you like-"

"What did I say about trouble?" Eliot Ness's voice broke through as him and Dean walked over to us. Dean was glaring at the young officer as I stood up, brushing down my dress.

"Mr Ness! I, I, I was just-" The young officer stumbled over his words.

"He causing you any trouble?" Dean asked snaking an arm around my waist and placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

"None." I answered with a small smirk as the officer quickly disappeared back to the small group. "I need to get out of here, please tell me we've got a lead." I begged Dean feeling like I was being treated like a china doll.

"Oh yeah, we got a lead." Dean beamed back at me before looking over to Ness.

* * *

><p>The lead turned out to be a cafe where Chronos would meet the book maker to collect his winnings. Ness drove us back to the alley where we first arrived. Across the street was a diner where Chronos was sat drinking a coffee.<p>

"That's him." Dean pointed to Chronos as he was sat by himself.

"Kind of puny for a God." Ness muttered as he took a quick drink from a flask. He held it out to Dean to drink and for once Dean shook his head.

"Thought you were, uh – thought you were Mr. Boy Scout." Dean said screwing his face up a little.

"Why do you think I went after Capone in the first place? The guy had the best hooch in Chicago." Ness answered making me giggle a little.

"Makes sense I guess." I chuckled as the pair looked at me. Ness offered me the flask but I shook my head. He put it back in his pocket then changed his mind, pulling it out again.

"So, now, w-who died in your life and made you a hunter?" Dean asked as we continued to watch the diner.

"Who died? Nobody died, you morbid son of a bitch. I started doing this 'cause vampires were turning folks in Cleveland." Ness answered screwing his face up as he turned to Dean and then glanced at me. Both me and Dean had the same expression, both of us were in this life because we lost someone, we never thought of any other reason you'd become a hunter.

"And you got the bug." Dean beamed as his whole face lit up. You could really see how much Dean loved talking to his idol.

"That's when I got the bug." Ness nodded taking another drink from his flask. "Sometimes you just want to punch through the red tape with a silver bullet. Yeah, hunting sets me free. Isn't that why you hunt?" Ness explained as his looked out of the window. Dean's shoulders dropped as he thought about the answer.

"I used to do it 'cause that's what my family did." Dean answered honestly, his voice just above a whisper.

"Hmm." Ness was listening, he turned to Dean looking confused.

"But they just seem to keep dying. To tell you the truth, I don't know why I'm doing much of anything anymore." Dean admitted looking over to Ness and I felt my heart break a little. He looked so lost and broken in that moment and I honestly had no idea how to help him.

"Boo-hoo. Cry me a river, ya nancy. Tell me, are all hunters as soft as you in the future? Everybody loses everybody. And then one day, boom. Your number's up, but at least you're making a difference. So enjoy it while it lasts, kid, 'cause hunting's the only clarity you're gonna find in this life. And that makes you luckier than most." Ness snapped making both me and Dean sit up straight. He just seemed to cut through everything like Bobby would have done. Dean was lost for words as the pair just looked at each other slightly in shock.

"Um, guys?" I asked getting there attention as a blonde woman walked out of the diner and past Ness.

"Hello, nurse." Ness hummed watching her as she walked down the alley.

"Hey." Dean added as we watched Chronos leave the diner and follow the woman down the alley way. We all got out of the car and walked round to the boot of Ness's car. He opened it and it was full of weapons.

"Sweet merciful awesome." Dean beamed as Ness passed him a shotgun.

"Am I getting a gun this time?" I asked plainly as Ness frowned.

"I really don't want to give you one." He answered before glancing at Dean. "But I'm getting the feeling you won't back down till I do." He added passing me a shotgun too.

"See, we're getting to know each other so well." I smirked sarcastically as Dean rolled his eyes.

"Don't I know it." He huffed as he closed the boot and we followed Chronos down the alley as he started to gain on the woman. We picked up the pace and started to raise our guns when Chronos grabbed the woman, spinning her around and kissing her passionately. Before walking back down the alley together.

"What?" I asked looking at the guys utterly confused.

* * *

><p>I sat next to Dean in the front of Ness's car as he talked to some guy. We followed the pair back to a farm house in the middle of no where it felt like. I turned to Dean and rested my head on his shoulder.<p>

"You know this is the most we've talked in months." I admitted as he let out a small sigh.

"Yeah, yeah I know." He answered pulling me closer to his body.

"I hate the fact we can't stop fighting." I admitted pulling out of his hold and turning to look into his green eyes.

"Megan, I want to help you," He brushed some hair behind my ear. "But you gotta talk to me about all this." He added sadly, the hurt burning in his eyes. I knew how worried he was for me, it was all I ever felt from him lately. Hurt, worry, confusion and he felt completely lost. It was killing me just being around him but there was nothing I could do to help him.

"You know, I was about to say the same thing to you." I admitted as he frowned at me. I let out a small sigh chewing my bottom lip before I continued. "Dick, Bobby... everything with Sam. You've shut everyone out. Hell if it wasn't for beer I don't know how you'd even function right now." I admitted and as soon as the words left my mouth I saw the look in his eyes. I had said the wrong thing – again. This was us all over. We just kept saying the wrong things at the wrong times.

"Me?!" He snapped pulling away from me. "I'm shutting everyone out?!" He scoffed shaking his head. The anger was rolling off Dean and I knew I had hit a nerve.

"Dean I-" I started to apologise when Ness walked over to Dean's window and popped his head in.

"Am I interrupting?" Ness asked looking at the pair of us. The way we were sat, the gap between us, it didn't take a genius to realise he'd walked in the middle of something.

"What you got?" Dean sighed looking away from me as Ness gave me a look. He looked concerned, almost upset for a second. I looked out to the house across the field from us and he blew the air out of his cheeks.

"Well, everything's coming up us, kid." Ness beamed at Dean as I just shifted my weight uncomfortably.

"Talk to me." Dean stated as I turned to the pair.

"I am." Ness answered screwing up his face. "The owner of the house, Miss Lila Taylor, age 20, lives alone. Take the car, head back to Ezra, see what she's got. I'm gonna stay here and keep my peepers on the Sheik and the Sheba." Ness explained as he looked at the pair of us.

"I'm staying." I said grabbing two rifles and getting out of the car. I couldn't stay around Dean, I knew it would only cause another argument. I hated fighting with him.

"I really-" Ness started to argue when I tossed him the other rifle.

"I'm staying." I repeated firmly walking away from the car without looking at Dean. I heard Dean drive away as Ness walked over to me. We were hiding behind a shed keeping an eye on the house.

"You are a major pain in my backside." Ness grunted as I glared at him. "Yeah, glare all you want." He added taking a sip from his flask again.

"What do you want, an apology from me?" I bit out as he let out a small chuckle.

"I don't know how Dean handles you." He answered shaking his head. "You really are a firecracker."

"He doesn't _handle_ me." I huffed out arching an eyebrow at Ness.

"I noticed with the tension in the car back there. You two fight often I take it." He added as I pushed myself away from the shed.

"Don't see how it's your business." I huffed turning to face him.

"Seems to me, the pair of you are heading down a bad road." Ness shrugged putting his flask away. "I'm just saying, that's how it started with me and my ex-wife. It's a different tension, a different type of fighting."

"Look, no offence but I don't need relationship advice from you." I butted in as I screwed my face up.

"Fine, but you might want to keep an eye on those arguments." Ness bit back holding his hands up as I let out a heavy sigh.

"Mr. Ness, and one of the hunters, I presume?" Chronos stated appearing from nowhere. He grabbed Ness's rifle hitting Ness in the face and making him stumble backwards dazed.

"Hey!" I cried out taking aim as Chronos flicked his hand out to me, knocking me to the floor and the gun flying out of my hand.

"You know, I stopped by the police station to take care of those hunters who rode me here. I heard you took them out of jail. I thought I might see you again." Chronos barked in Ness's face. Ness head butted Chronos as the pair struggled for the rifle. I got to my feet and grabbed my rifle cocking it so that the pair turned to me.

"Let him go." I said firmly to Chronos. I had no idea if bullets could hurt him, but I was willing to bet it would slow him down a little.

"No." Chronos said plainly as Ness punched him in the face twice, taking him by surprise. He barely left a mark on Chronos, like I expected. In reaction Chronos punched Ness in the mouth twice busting open his lip.

"Stop or I will shoot you." I stated firmly not taking my eyes off of Chronos.

"I don't think you will. I'm the only way for you to get out of here." Chronos said smugly as he punched Ness threw the air past me into the shed. I heard Ness land with a nasty thud.

"Ness? Ness you hear me?" I asked taking a second to glance at Ness. He was out cold. As I looked back Chronos had the rifle and ripped it out of my hands. He wrapped his hands round my throat and started to squeeze.

"You've got a lot of power within you." Chronos said surprised as I started to pry at his hands. I closed my eyes and pulled on my wolf side. I felt my eyes change as Chronos smirked at me. "A werewolf?" He asked confused.

"So much more." I smirked as I started to pry his fingers off my throat.

"Oh no sweetheart, not this time." Chronos patronised as he pulled on some of his strength and gripped my throat tighter than before. I clawed at his fingers as I started to struggle for air. "You might come in handy though, I am still looking for a third sacrifice." He added with a smirk as I started to gasp for air. Chronos was stronger than most of the long forgotten Gods I had fought before. I pried at his hands as my eyes started to form black dots in front of my eyes.

"Bite... me..." I gasped out as I felt the fire burning in my lungs. I knew I couldn't hold on for much longer but I was just praying that Dean got back in time to stop him.

"With pleasure." Chronos chuckled as we both heard someone calling his name.

"Ethan?" The female voice called out as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Chronos threw my body in the same direction that Ness went. I landed with a thud as everything was surrounded by a dark warm fuzziness. "There you are. Can't take the trash out without the trash, silly." The female voice laughed.

"Sorry, honey. I don't know where I left my head. Be right there." Chronos answered as everything faded to black.

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><p>I woke tied up to a chair in a living room, a grandfather clock chimed in another room as I looked around. I groaned as I lifted my head and saw Chronos stood over me looking murderous. I pulled on the ropes but they didn't give at all.<p>

"Where is he?" Chronos bit out glaring at me.

"Who?" I asked shaking the sleep out of my head. I had been beat up by lots of things that go bump in the night but Demi-Gods always packed a punch.

"Ness! Where did he go?!" Chronos snapped glaring at me.

"Chicago?" I joked when Chronos slapped my face. "Seriously you might wanna put more effort into your slaps. You hit like a girl." I teased pulling on the ropes a little.

"Tell me where he is!" Chronos almost screamed in my face.

"I, have no idea, where he is. Understand?" I asked as Chronos let out a growl.

"If you wont help me," Chronos took a rag and put it in my mouth tying it behind my head. "I'll use you as bait instead." He grunted before walking out of the room. I sat there for a few minutes getting my barrings before I started to pull on the ropes. They were tied pretty damn tight, but I started to feel them budge. I must have been sat there for a good twenty minutes slowly loosing the ropes when the doors opened and Dean walked in looking completely lost.

"Megan!" Dean cried out rushing over to me and pulling the gag out of my mouth. "Are you ok? Where's Ness?" He asked looking genuinely worried.

"It's a trap!" I cried out as Dean noticed the movement to his side just as Chronos tackled him to the ground. "Dean!" I screamed out pulling on the ropes as much as I could. The pair got to their feet as Dean punched Chronos with practically no effect. Chronos punched Dean across the room into a chair and stalked over to him. Chronos raised his fist to punch Dean again.

"Ethan!" Lila cried out making all of us pause and turn. She was being held by Ness, his gun pointing at her stomach.

"Let's talk." Ness said calmly as I managed to pull the ropes free.

"Please don't hurt her." Chronos begged holding his hands up in the air. Dean got up and helped pull the ropes off me.

"Ethan, what's happening?" Lila asked terrified, I could feel the fear roll off her in waves.

"Yeah, Ethan. What the hell?" Dean bit in making Chronos glare at the pair of us.

"Lila, I'm sorry, but, you just – everything I said to you is true-" Chronos was completely in love with Lila it was plain to see.

"Oh, he might have left out a few details. He tell you he's a monster who jumps through time?" Dean jumped in making Lila turn pale.

"I'M A GOD!" Chronos snapped at Dean making everyone a little jumpy. Chronos wiped a hand over his face and turned to Lila. "Look, I'm not a monster. Listen. I'm the opposite." He begged her to understand.

"Well, don't forget to tell her about all the people you murdered along the way, boy scout." Ness added as Chronos looked pleading at Lila to ignore the guys.

"What?!" She cried out, the tears forming in her eyes.

"It's not like that. I do it for you, Lila." Chronos said softly, his own eyes welling up as he looked at the woman he loved.

"I don't understand." Lila cried out shaking her head as a tear rolled down her cheek. You could see her heart breaking.

"Well, he's not as strong as he used to be. Isn't that right, Ethan? Now you got to suck people dry. Wild guess – it takes three kills to juice you up." Dean bit out as I watched the rage cross Chronos face.

"_Sacrifices_. Three sacrifices, and I can control when and where I land. But once I get there, it's never for long before I'm tossed through time again. That's my life, Lila. And all I want is to get back here." He wanted Lila to understand so bad, he didn't care what we thought of him.

"Because you just love the clean Canton air?" Ness butted in as Chronos raged at us again.

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" He snapped out, turning to Lila again and lowering his voice. "Because I lived the worst existence you can imagine, and then I found you." Lila was breaking down in front of everyone.

"You really love her." I said just above a whisper as everyone looked at me. "I can... I can feel it." I added as Lila caught her breath.

"I, I, I do." Chronos answered with a small nod before turning to Lila. "I love you." He whispered out.

"After you killed Tyler Crosby and Cathy Porter? Lila here was gonna be victim number three. Am I right? Don't act like you never killed a soul before you met her, pal. Something tells me you used to kill three saps just for a change of scenery." Ness barked not taking his eyes off of Chronos.

"Yes, I did." Chronos admitted taking a step towards Lila and Ness.

"Back down." Ness ordered making sure his gun was still aimed at Lila's stomach.

"I-I used to wander, but now I have you." Chronos was ignoring all of us, he was focused on Lila alone.

"I knew Cathy. She used to come into the diner every day." Lila muttered out shaking her head in total shock as she just looked at Chronos. I noticed Dean pull a stick out of his pocket. I looked at him confused and he simply nodded towards Chronos.

"Lila, please." Chronos begged holding his hands up to her.

"You are a monster." Lila cried out as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

"No, Lila, please!" Chronos begged as Dean nodded for us to move. I nodded as we started to move forward. Chronos turned just in time to see the stick and grab his wrist. I went to punch Chronos in the ribs when back handed me across the room. I fell into a cupboard hard and dropped to the floor. I heard two gun shots and shot my head up as I saw Chronos gripping Dean by the throat.

"DEAN NO!" I cried out scrambling to my feet as a red light started to glow from Chronos's chest.

"No!" Chronos cried out grabbing Dean from behind with an arm around his neck.

"Dean!" I cried out charging at Chronos in hopes of knocking Dean out of his arms. As I ran the light got brighter. My mind raced with the thought that Chronos was using Dean as his last meal before he jumped through time again. I just had to get to Dean and save him.

"Hey, Untouchable!" Ness yelled as I tackled Chronos, everything bursting into an explosion of bright red light. We all landed on the floor with a thud, I saw the stake going flying away from us. I scrambled to get hold of Chronos as I realised just where we were.

"Dean! Megan!" Jody cried out as I saw her rush to Dean's side, I glanced and it looked like he was out cold. Chronos kicked me in the stomach and got to his feet.

"Hey!" Sam cried out rushing over to Chronos. He went to punch Sam but blocked it easierly, sending Sam sprawling across the other side of the room.

"NO!" Chronos screamed at me and Dean as I got to my feet.

"You killed people. She just didn't love you anymore." I admitted watching a tear roll down his cheek as he shook his head at me. Before I had time to react Chronos back handed my face knocking me to the floor next to Dean and Jody. "YOU! Destroyed everything!" Chronos screamed down at us.

"Hey, Chronos?!" Sam yelled making Chronos turn towards Sam. "Was that the best you got?" Sam asked stabbing Chronos with the stake instantly making light pulse through his body and flicker up his neck. Chronos dropped to his knees as he looked up at Sam, the blood dripping from his mouth.

"You want to know your future? I know your future." Chronos cried out, glancing at me and Dean. "It's covered in thick black ooze." He chuckled as Dean turned to Sam, Chronos looking me dead in the eyes. "It's everywhere." He added before looking back to Sam. "They're everywhere." He laughed choking on the blood a little. "Enjoy oblivion." He finished before falling dead on the floor.

* * *

><p>We cleaned up the body, said our thanks to Jody for helping out and Sam went to crash in the only nice room within the whole house. We hadn't gotten the chance to change and I was really looking forward to getting out of the dress and heels. They were just not my style. I knew Dean was already getting changed in the living room because I could hear him shuffling around and humming to himself. I was washing the last of the blood off my hands in the kitchen when I heard some old swing music softly coming from the living room.<p>

"What the?" I asked aloud as I followed the music and saw Dean stood there in his suit pants, crisp white shirt, tie and waist coat. He still had his hair jelled to the side and gave me a warm smile as I walked in. He looked perfect, damn near the greatest creature in creation.

"Dance?" He asked holding his hand out to me. The smile burst onto my lips as I walked over and instantly took his hand. Dean wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him as we swayed around the crappy living room, the torch lights the only things lighting up the room.

"I knew you could be romantic." I teased as he span me around mid dance.

"I have my moments." He smirked pulling me close to him. I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. It was the one sound in the world I lived for. I loved how calm and constant it was. To me, it was the perfect music. I let out a content sigh as I closed my eyes. Everything was perfect in that moment.  
>I started to feel myself relax in his arms and that's when it happened. Flashes of Purgatory hit me. Images of the darkness wrapping around my ankles, my wrists, gripping me down as all around me they crept along my skin.<p>

"SHIT!" I cried out stumbling backwards out of Dean's arms and nearly falling over my feet. My heart was racing as I looked around the dimly lit room to make sure I was safe.

"Megan?" Dean asked utterly confused as he took a step forward. On instinct I took a step back and felt a wave of hurt roll off Dean. "What just happened?" Dean asked softly, holding his hand out to me.

"I'm, I'm, I'm sorry, I didn't I-" I stumbled over my words as I saw Deans hand out to me. "I can't do this. I can't, I can't relax." I mumbled shaking my head.

"What?! Why?" Dean cried out running a hand over his hair. "Just talk to me! Please?!" Dean snapped as I met his perfect green eyes. I felt myself well up as I knew I just could explain Purgatory to him.

"I can't..." I sighed out as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"No! No you just don't want to!" Dean snapped his rage quickly taking over any other emotion he was feeling. "You want me to open up to you! But, but you wont tell me anything! You won't tell me about Purgatory! You don't tell me why you wake up in the middle of the night shaking and muffling screams! You don't talk to me anymore Megan! And I-" Dean blew the air out of his cheeks. "I can't keep doing this..." He added softly looking to the floor as more tears rolled down my cheeks. "I can't keep watching you in this much pain..."

"Dean... I, I feel the same about you... I just," I paused as he looked straight into my eyes. Something was changing between us. Ness was right, he had seen it coming. These fights, they were different to any we had before. "Dean-" I felt the tear roll down my cheek as Dean looked away.

"I need some air. I'll be back later." Dean huffed turning and walking out of the room. I wanted to chase after him, get him to come back, hell make him talk to me. But I didn't. I just stood there in complete silence as the tears fell. Ness was right, this was different, and I didn't know how to fight it, how to make it right.


	19. The Slice Girls

Hey everyone thanks for all the great reviews from the last chapter. I know updates are hit and miss with me and I'm sorry. I still love writing this story but I'm finding it hard. First I went through loosing someone, and then, ironically, I've just broke up with my partner of seven years. So it's a struggle and I'm trying to put it my own emotions into this chapter but I've never gone through what the characters go through.  
>Also I was in a bit of a rush updating my last chapter that I forgot to say the scene in my last chapter, Dean and Megan dancing, was given to me by Ladysunshine6 who suggested it. She needs all the props for it!<br>Well here is the new chapter- enjoy and remember to review pretty please.

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><p>I sat in my Camaro fallowing the guys down a rainy road in the middle of the night. I hadn't really talked to Dean since he walked out on me in the house. I honestly didn't know what to say to him. He wanted me to talk to him and there just wasn't words. I couldn't describe Purgatory to him because I could barely wrap my head around it myself. It had been months since I returned and remembered everything; yet I still couldn't bring myself to really understand what happened to me down there. The nightmares were still there, every night I closed my eyes I felt them waiting for me. It meant I still wasn't sleeping much, just enough to get by with. The tension between me and Dean had reached a level I don't think we'd face before. We barely looked at each other, only talked when we absolutely had to. I mean you wouldn't think we were married. Sam had noticed, <em>of course Sam had noticed<em>, and in his own way he was trying to help.

"So are we far out?" I sighed watching the car in front, my thumb lightly drumming on the steering wheel. I felt tense, since my last fight with Dean it felt like I couldn't even relax anymore. I just wanted so badly to go back to the way things were. I just wanted to close my eyes and know nothing was going to jump out at me. I just wanted to know I could relax without tearing something apart or running for the hills. I just wanted Dean to wrap his arms around me and make me feel like everything was going to be ok. But he didn't. It really was taking its toll on me.

"_An hour or so. You read the newspaper article?_" Sam asked down the line, his tone was hushed so I guessed Dean was actually asleep for once. I actually smiled, just for a beat. Sam had Lucy popping in now and again to say hello. I had Leviathans and Purgatory haunting my dreams. And Dean? He had the guilt of the world on his shoulders, he was blaming himself for everything that had happened; including Bobby's death. The guilt was eating him up from the inside out and everyone close knew it. I was thankful he was getting a little shut eye. He needed the rest.

"Yeah, missing hands and feet, and that symbol. I'd say it was our kind of case." I replied knowing that working a case was better then sitting on our backsides waiting for the next Leviathan attack.

"_Majority rule then..._" Sam sighed out, he sounded annoyed and I knew exactly why.

"Is he still trying to argue it's a goose-chase?" I asked letting out a heavy sigh. Dean was trying to make us work one angle, and one alone. He was getting obsessive over it all, and in all honesty it was scaring me a little. I was scared his fixation was going to get us all killed.

"_He wants to find Dick_." Sam answered softly, and I knew he was looking over at Dean. "_We all do._" He added just above a whisper as I nodded in my car. I knew we'd get Dick. We would. But it was going to take time and a hell of a lot of planning. Two things Dean wasn't found of at the best of times.

"I know Sam. We will get him, but we need to keep working in the mean time." I answered watching the rain fall hard against the cars. There was a pause down the line as we drove in silence for a few minutes.

"_You gonna tell me what the pair of you are fighting over this time?_" Sam asked softly, I could just imagine his puppy dog eyes as he looked at me in the rear view mirror. I let out a heavy sigh as I shook my head. I was defeated, inside I just felt defeated about it all.

"I don't even know anymore Sam," I sighed out just above a whisper, shaking my head and letting out a bitter laugh. "All we do is fight anymore." I scoffed bitterly just above a whisper as my eyes stated to well up slightly.

"_You know he loves you, right?_" Sam asked as I fought the lump in my throat. I was starting to wonder if love was enough to keep us together anymore.

"I love him too." I whimpered as I heard Dean moving in the seat next to him.

"_Alright, well when we get there let's pull into the motel and head straight back out. Sound good?_" Sam asked quickly changing his tone. I heard Dean moving around at the side of him, waking up and grumbling slightly. I cleared my throat and brushed roughly at my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Yeah, Sam. I get he's up. Bye." I muttered hanging up and watching the movement in the car in font. I saw the pair glancing at each other and Dean shrugging before Sam slapped him with a newspaper. I noticed a few moments later Dean turn and glance, making sure that I was still following them. I let out a heavy sigh as I tapped my thumbs against the steering wheel. It felt like we were breaking apart, and neither of us knew how to fix it.

* * *

><p>We got to the motel, booked in two separate rooms. I decided I wanted my space from Dean and Sam. It physically hurt with the looks Dean was giving me. I was in my room, grabbing some clothes to change into when someone knocked on my door. I walked over and opened the door to find Dean stood there, he actually looked surprised that I answered.<p>

"Um, can I come in?" He asked nervously, his eyes darting away from mine instantly. He couldn't even bring himself to look at me.

"Free world..." I huffed leaving the door open and walked over to my bag of clothes. I heard Dean close the door behind him and let out a heavy sigh. The tension was there, hanging over both our heads. I carried on as if nothing was wrong and routed through my bag as I heard him walk over to me. My heart raced as I heard his footsteps towards me. A part of me was just waiting for the next fight to start.

"Lost something?" Dean asked in his usual cocky tone, standing at the foot of my bed. I glanced up and noticed how awkward he suddenly looked, his hands were tucked into his pockets, his shoulders hunched a little, that cocky grin fading away. His eyes skirted around the room and avoided me as much as possible. It hurt that he couldn't even look me in the eyes, not anymore.

"No, just getting some clothes to change into." I clarified standing up straight. "Sam said he wanted to hit this thing running." I added feeling the awkwardness build between us.

"Yeah that''s Sammy, work, work, work..." Dean joked flatly as he let out another small sigh. The silence between us built to deafening levels as we just looked at each other. We both knew we were treading on thin ice, neither of us were really will to break it. For all we knew, it would break us too. I tried to catch Dean's eye to make him explain why he had shown up but every time I managed to look into his eye he would avoid my gaze like the plague. After five minuets of silently trying to get him to talk I let out a small sigh.

"Dean, what, um... what do you want?" I asked softly, turning fully to face him. Dean scratched the back of his neck before letting out a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"What do I want?" He muttered and I felt the tension suddenly build in the room. "What do I want Megan? I'll tell you what I want." Dean grunted as his eyes met mine. I wanted to look away from that fire that burnt in his green eyes. I wanted to move, run and hide away from how small he was making me feel. But I didn't. I just stood there, head up, looking dead into those burning green orbs I had once fallen madly in love with. "I want my wife to talk to me. I want her to treat this like a relationship. I want her to stop pushing me away. I want to help her. That's what I want Megan." Dean ground out his words as I notice the tears form in his eyes. "I can't- I can't deal with loosing her too." He bit out as a single tear rolled down his cheek. I nodded feeling the fear, the vulnerability, the anger wash from him to me. I gasped at the raw pain he was, for once, letting me in. It killed me seeing Dean hurting so badly, all I wanted to do was take all the pain away.

"Dean, how do I...?" I bit back the lump in my throat as I stood looking into his eyes. He was scoffing, shaking his head like he did every time I tried to explain myself. I bit my lip and started again. "I want you to talk to me about Bobby. I want to help you get through this. I see you drinking all the time, I mean this is probably the first time I've seen you without a drink in your hands since we- since he went." I cried out shaking my head a little. "You think its painful watching me? Baby I am watching the one man in this world I love more than life itself destroy himself and there's... there's not a damn thing I can do to stop it..." I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. I roughly brushed them away as I felt the anger rise up from Dean. That thin ice we were walking on gave way under my heavy words.

"Me?! You want to push this all back onto me?!" Dean snapped, slamming his fist onto the table near by. I actually jumped as he turned back to me and it was clear the rage was all he was feeling. "You came back to me broken! You came back and all this... all the demons in your head came back with you!" Dean yelled pointing to his own head. "I tried- I tried to make you leave, keep you damn safe! But NO! You wanted to stay! I wanted to help, I just wanted to help you! You pushed me away! The moment you came back!" Dean rushed forward and grabbed hold of my shoulders roughly, shaking me as he almost screamed in my face. "YOU JUST KEEP PUSHING ME AWAY!" There was a plead in the screaming, a plead to make things the way they were before all this started.

"I CAN'T MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND!" I screamed back as he grunted, letting go of me. I dropped the clothes and stumbled backwards into a table. Dean turned back, the fire burning in his eyes, before walking over to the wall, punching it hard.

"TRY!" He screamed turning back to me fully, the hole in the wall easy to see, his knuckles red and bloody. I opened my mouth to answer when the door opened and Sam rushed in looking utterly confused.

"Guys? What the hell?! I could hear you in my room." Sam cried out perplexed, taking in the whole scene in a heartbeat. His eyes darted from me, to Dean, to the smashed hole in the wall. "Are you ok?" Sam asked softer, the question out to either of us. I glanced over to Dean, my heart sinking as I saw the look he gave me. He was looking at me like he didn't even know who I was anymore. The tears hit my eyes as I looked at his bloody knuckles.

"Super Sam! Just _Super_!" Dean bit out sarcastically as he glared at me. I didn't have to be looking into his eyes to feel the glare he was giving me. Dean shook his head and stormed out of the room, shoulder barging Sam as he past him

"DEAN! Dean wait please!" I begged calling after him as I raced to the door. By the time I got to the door he was already gone. I cursed under my breath as the tears fell down my cheeks again. I felt Sam walk up behind me, his soothing influence washing over me.

"He just needs to cool down. It'll be ok." Sam soothed as he pulled me into a hug, holding me close to his chest. I sobbed into his chest, it felt like my heart was breaking and I didn't know what to do.

"It wont be Sam." I admitted wiping my eyes as I looked up at him. "Me and Dean, I just, I don't think we can be ok... I don't know how to fix it." I admitted feeling a chasm open up within me. This was the start of the end for us. I knew it was just a matter of time before it was over, that there was no more me and Dean. That thought it scared me more than anything I had ever faced in my life. More than Leviathans, more than Death, more than any God or creature that made things go bump in the night. Being without Dean, knowing there was no way to fix it, it terrified me.

* * *

><p>We got changed into our suits and I sat in the back of the car in silence as we drove to the morgue. Dean wouldn't even look at me, and I just knew... It was cutting me up inside knowing how much we were hanging by a thread. I tried to push all thoughts of me and Dean out of my head as we reached the morgue. I just wanted to focus on the case. <em>Good old O'Connor family values again- work to forget everything.<em> I was surprised to find the forensic officer to still be in when we got there, when he explained a fresh body had just come in it made sense. He pulled out the body of the latest victim. Sure enough his hands and feet were missing and there was a symbol craved into his chest.

"The latest, but probably not the last. You guys always work this late?" The officer asked as we all stood around the body. I looked at the body, trying to ignore the smell of death that suddenly invaded my senses. It was never easy to smell, but my wolf powers seemed to be all over the place. I blamed it on my relationship with Dean throwing me off balance.

"Ugh, hours suck. But, uh, great benefits package." Dean lied his arse off like a pro. And there was Dean, totally ignoring the fact that we had argued at all, in his own way he was throwing himself into anything but dealing with us too.

"Oh yeah?" The forensics officer asked genuinely interested in the _benefits package_.

"Yeah 10% co-pay on all drugs." Dean added as I glanced at Sam raising an eyebrow. Both me and Sam shared a silent conversation of who was going to make Dean shut up.

"Seriously?" The forensics officer asked sounding sceptical. Dean in his reply simply smirked and nodded. "Oh, but just generic, right?" The officer asked just as sceptical.

"No, no. Name brands are cool." Dean lied as I glanced at Sam again. We were both sharing the same annoyed look.

"Oh." The forensics officer nodding impressed.

"Yeah." Dean nodded as I just rolled my eyes. Sam cleared his throat and gave his big brother a small glare to which Dean just shrugged.

"So. What's our boy here weigh?" Sam asked drawing the attention back to the body that laid in front of us all.

"Uh. A buck ninety. Thrown against a wall so hard it buckled. Based on the blood flow at the crime scene, the hands and feet were cut off while he was still alive, just like the others. The killer wanted him to suffer." The forensics officer explained looking up at all three of us.

"And all vics are male, right, with the same kind of, uh, artwork as this?" Dean asked waving a hand over the craved mark in the centre of the guys chest.

"Yeah. Identical." The forensics officer explained as I just nodded. The symbol was like a stick man with all four limbs stretched out, extended longer than the body with a line through the face to where the genitals, where a small plus sign was added. I tried to study the symbol more, I wasn't sure, but I thought I had seen it before. I just couldn't place it. As I studied it Sam took a picture on his phone.

"Any DNA left at any of the scenes?" I asked looking up and racking my brains. The forensics officer gave me a small smile and nodded.

"All of them. One before this, the guy bit the attacker. Still had a chunk of flesh in his teeth when he came in. That's about as good as it gets." The forensics officer explained as he walked us over to his computer.

"Right." Dean nodded with a hum as he walked behind me. Just having Dean stood behind me made my whole body stiffen up. The tension between us, no matter how hard we tried to fake it, was permanently there.

"Do we know who it matches?" I fallowed up my question, hoping the DNA could point us in the right direction. _That's it O'Connor, just keep working..._

"We do not." The forensics officer grunted hitting a button on the keyboard and bringing up a scree that said _"Sample Rejected. No Known Genetic Markers_", I read it and screwed up my face. "The samples were rejected. The genetic markers don't match anything we've ever seen." The forensics officer went on to explain.

"Didn't match any person in the database?" Dean tried to clarify as he walked round the other side of Sam, glancing at the screen as confused as I was.

"No, I mean they don't match anything human." The forensics officer explained utterly confused.

"No way the samples could have been tampered with?" I checked just in case as Sam and Dean shared a look.

"No, I took these samples myself." The forensics officer explained as I just looked at the others.

"Hmm." Dean replied looking at Sam. We said thanks to the forensics officer and walked out of the police station, Sam was busy looking at his phone as Dean pulled his tie loose.

"I'll admit it could be in the general vicinity," Dean opened the door as all three of us walked out. "of the ballpark of our kind of thing." Dean was trying his hardest to not make this a case.

"Yeah, uh, _didn't match anything human_ usually seals the deal for me. I don't know, I've never seen this symbol before." Sam explained as he frowned at his phone. I went of my tip toes and glanced at the phone.

"I _think_, I have, but I can't remember where." I frowned as Sam tapped Dean on the shoulder making him turn to us.

"Let's get a bite to eat, go back to the motel, haul out the laptops." Sam suggested as Dean took a beat to glance into my eyes before running a hand over his face. I knew he couldn't face being locked in a room with me for hours. I knew because I was dreading being locked away with him. I knew it would just lead to more fighting.

"That's a great idea. Actually, that's a brilliant idea. Here's my counter." Dean paused for a beat before he kept talking, Sam gave me a sarcastic smile. We both knew what Dean was about to say. "You do that, I'll go undercover, go mingle amongst the locals and see, uh, what kind of clues bubble to the surface." Dean smirked clapping his hands together.

"You're going to a bar." Sam concluded in a deadpan tone as I let out a small sigh. I knew he wanted to be as far away from me as possible.

"Wow. If you want to oversimplify it." Dean huffed before walking off. I glanced up to Sam and bit my lip. He was giving me the worried big brother look he enjoyed throwing at me lately. I glanced back in the direction Dean was walking and then looked up at Sam. By his expression he almost knew what I wanted to do.

"I'll be right back." I huffed walking after Dean, jogging to catch him up. I walked around a corner as Dean grabbed me, dragging me into an alley. I looked around confused as he let go of me and walked away.

"Dean?" I asked confused as to why he had pulled me into the alley.

"I knew you'd come after me." Dean grunted out, spinning on his heels to face me. "But you know what- screw it!" He snapped the rage burning in his again.

"Excuse me?" I snapped back, folding my arms over my chest. I should have known it would have been an argument I had walked into.

"No, no no you should ask to be excused!" Dean snapped throwing his arms in the air. "I've had to deal with your crap for months now! I've had to deal with you pushing me away for months and it's killing me Megan!" Dean snapped, the rage pouring over every word he spoke.

"And watching you drink yourself to death is such a peachy thing!" I growled back, balling my hands into fists. His rage was feeding into my rage and it was taking everything within me not to release my wolf side. The anger made her stir to a level I hadn't felt since I had got out of purgatory.

"I drink- I drink because I don't know what else to do!" Dean growled back, getting in my face. The anger was rolling off him like thunder and I had to squeeze my fists so hard they bled just so that I wouldn't change. "You're the one driving me to drink! If you had just left when I told you-"

"You want me to leave?!" I cut in growling as we glared at each other. I was so mad, so angry that he thought I was pushing him away when it was him pushing me away.

"Yeah! Yeah maybe I do!" Dean snapped storming away from me. "You know what! Just stay the hell away from me! It's clear you don't want to be in this relationship anymore! Hell you talk to Sam more than me! I'm meant to be your husband for crying out loud Megan!"

"You got a real funny way of showing it then Dean! Hell when was the last time we really sat and talked about anything that wasn't a hunt?! You want me to act like a wife?! Try acting like a husband!" I snapped and stormed out of the alley, the rage burning inside of me as I the chasm inside me crack wider open.

* * *

><p>I went straight back to the motel and changed into some jogging bottoms and old t-shirt. I pulled on my trainers and tied my hair into a high ponytail. By the time I was ready to leave someone knocked on my door. I opened it to find Sam stood there, his expression full of confusion and worry. I stepped aside so that he could come in.<p>

"So, I'd ask if you're ok, but..." Sam sighed out as his eyebrows knitted together.

"He's a jerk! He's a stupid son of bitch who, who for as long as I can remember has been a major pain in my arse!" I growled shaking my head as I started to pace. I could feel the wolf side of me agitated and yearning to come out and play.

"You two fight again then?" Sam asked seriously as he sat on the edge of the bed. I turned to him and put my hands on my hips. The rage felt like it was seeping out of me.

"He's a pig headed, stubborn, self centred piece of -arh! He wants me to leave him the hell alone! Says that _I'm_ the one who's acting like they don't want to be in this damn relationship! Can't he see that I am trying my hardest?! I mean what does it take to show him that I actually care?!" I snapped as I paced in front of Sam.

"You know, he'd say the same about you." Sam pointed out stopping me in my tracks. I turned to him and saw the honest expression. "I mean, as far as I can tell, you two are two sides of the same coin. That's why you've always digged each other." He shrugged softly.

"I am nothing like your brother." I scoffed out, shaking my head firmly.

"When it comes to opening up about things... you kinda are." Sam smirked a little as I scoffed out again. I turned my back on Sam and felt my stomach drop. I knew he was right, I knew me and Dean lacked some skills when it came to communicating about emotions. But it had always worked between us before. Now, this time, it felt different. Everything just felt wrong. I didn't know how to fix anything, but I knew I was the reason nothing was fixable. _It had to be me, right? _I let out a heavy sigh, brushing the loose hair off my face as I turned back to Sam. The chasm in me wide open and threatening to swallow me whole as I felt that sinking feeling that it really was all me.

"What's wrong with me Sam?" I asked deadly serious, my voice breaking as I continued to talk. "What's so damn wrong with me that I can never seem to make it work with your stupid brother?" I asked bowing my head for a second. I felt like I was battling against a tide, it was dragging me under and there was only so long I could keep afloat.

"There is nothing wrong with you Megan, honestly." Sam gently mused as I looked up and met his gaze again. His green eyes shined in a whole different way to Deans. Sam's were just full of honestly and caring. "As far as I can tell, you two keep fighting because you both care so damn much about the other. You both want to make the other feel better, that you'd stow all the crap going on with yourself." Sam sighed softly as he brushed the hair off his face.. I felt the tear roll down my cheek and I brushed it away with the back of my hand.

"He wants me to talk about Purgatory with him." I whispered out looking at my feet. "He thinks. He thinks it's just that easy to open up about it all... I can't- I just-" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Words don't do that place justice, you know?" I asked looking up at Sam with tears forming in my eyes. My heart ached knowing that I should have been having this conversation with Dean but we had gone past the point of either of us listening to the other.

"Yeah, I kinda know." Sam nodded as he pushed himself off the bed and walked over to me wrapping his arms around me. "He wants to help you so badly, he can see what it's done to you. We both can. We just, _he_ _just_, wants to help." Sam hushed as I buried my head into his chest. "But he's Dean. Doesn't know how to talk about anything remotely linked to emotions. Hell he'd rather stay mad at you then admit it was killing him not being able to help you."

"I don't want the help. I just want to forget about it all." I sobbed as Sam held me closer. Sam wasn't Dean. He was a taller, more sensitive, softer version of Dean. Sam was the one I knew I could always turn to if I needed to talk. He rarely pushed me to talk about something I didn't want to, and in the times he did, it was for my own good. But Sam wasn't Dean and I knew deep down everything Sam was saying was right. Both of us wanted to forget our pain by trying to help the other move past their pain. The problem was we were too alike.

"I can't fix things... I don't know how to fix things this time." I admitted as we pulled out of the hug. I was devastated, just broken to the core and I needed someone to point me in the right direction to fix things.

"You just both need a little time to cool down, I bet by the end of this case you both will be back together." Sam smirked giving me a small nudge. "You know how the pair of you are like." He added with a shrug and a small smile. I couldn't bring myself to smile back as I looked up at the giant.

"Maybe..." I hummed, knowing that deep down things felt so wrong, so different.

* * *

><p>The next morning we got a call that there had been another murder. I got dressed and walked over to Sam and Dean's room. I knocked and waited for one of them to answer.<p>

"Megan?!" Sam cried out surprised and then tried to hide it. "Um, morning." He beamed as he stuck his head out from the door. The rest of his body was blocking the view into the room. Sam seemed slightly on edge.

"Morning... you guys ready to go?" I asked arching at eyebrow at how weird Sam was being.

"Um, you know actually, Dean is... just so hungover. He's in the bathroom cleaning up." Sam rambled, nodding a little as he glanced over his shoulder back into the room. "Do you mind going to the scene first and we'll catch you up?" Sam asked trying to fake innocence, turning back to me, giving me a small smile.

"Sure, I mean if that's what you wanna do?" I asked confused. Sam seemed to be all kinda of odd this morning and it was throwing me.

"Yeah, yeah... I um. I was actually hoping to talk to him in the car on the way. You know about you two." He added softly, giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"Oh, Sam, really you don't have to." I replied still not understanding why he was acting so weird.

"I hate seeing you so upset like you were last night Megan. Maybe if I talk to him, he'll listen." Sam added genuinely with a small shrug. I gave Sam a small smile.

"Thanks Sam, you really are a great guy." I replied with a small nod and turned to walk down the stairs.

"Anytime..." Sam sighed out. I turned as he went to close the door.

"Oh Sam?" I asked watching the fear flash through Sam's eyes.

"Yeah?" He answered nervously.

"I... um, just tell Dean we need help with the symbol. I can't remember where I've seen it before." I added as Sam just nodded and then closed the door on me. I paused looking sideways at the door. _What is wrong with him this morning? Why wouldn't he let me in?Why was he blocking the door... Oh OH! Maybe he's got a friend over?! Yeah that would explain it! Good for you Sammy! Trying to sneak her out before Dean wakes up._ I smirked as I shook my head and walked over to my car.

* * *

><p>I got to the crime scene and was let in by the police guarding the door. The place was a blood bath, much like the photo's from the other crime scenes. As I ducked under the tape the forensics officer, Eddie Carter, from the night before waved me over to the body. I crouched over the body and instantly noticed the missing hands and feet, and our unusual craving in the chest. The more I looked at the carving the more I was certain I had seen it somewhere before.<p>

"Well, you called it." I sighed turning to the forensics guy.

"I wish I hadn't." He replied sadly when a woman came storming into the room. Eddie greeted her with a warm smile which she didn't even acknowledge. Instead she just glared at me, her eyes taking in every detail of me in seconds.

"Detective Charlene Penn, FBI Agent Meg Kay." Eddie introduced us as I stood, brushing my hand down my trousers. I held my hand out to her and she shook it rather firmly.

"Pleasure Agent." She said firmly, looking straight into my eyes. Before I could say anything she crouched looking at the body as Eddie explained how the body had landed where it had. I felt Sam and Dean's presence before I saw them. I turned as the pair walked into the room, looking at the blood-splattered walls.

"Well, nice décor. Very early slaughterhouse." Dean joked to Sam as they got the attention of the detective and our forensics officer. I turned to the pair and Sam gave me a small smile as Dean did his usual of avoiding eye contact. I looked down to the ground heartbroken before I bit my lip as I looked over to the Detective.

"The other FBI agents." Eddie said to Detective Penn as everyone stood around. "Guys, this is Charlene Penn. She's the lead on the case." He added as he introduced everyone. I noticed Detective Penn's body language change when she saw the guys. I thought she was cold with me, she was icy with the guys.

"More of the same. Uh, no forced entry. Thrown across the room. Made to suffer. Both hands and feet cut off." She noted without even really looking at the pair.

"Same symbol in the chest." Sam nodded to the body as we all took another glance at the symbol.

"Mm. Whoever the killer is, the guy's a monster." Eddie summarised as Detective Penn glanced at me. I held her gaze for a second, slightly confused by her looking at me.

"Excuse me." She said quickly making her exit. I watched her walk over to some more forensic officers, talking softly to them. Something felt off about her. _Maybe she doesn't like working with a bunch of dudes? She could be a feminist? Or anti-men? Maybe she just doesn't play well with others?_

"This guy's just like the last one. Early 30s, decent-looking?" Dean asked snapping my attention back to the body in front of us.

"Yeah. Just like the first three, you know? Fairly successful, no known enemies." Eddie explained with a small shrug.

"Hmm." Dean nodded as we all looked at the body again.

"Here." Eddie nodded toward the kitchen and started to walk off. On instinct I started to fallow and notice Dean do the same. Sam had disappeared to talk to someone at the door. Dean seemed to realise that it was just the two of us the same time I did. Neither of us looked too happy about it.

"You know, I'm just gonna... " I threw my thumb in the direction of Detective Penn, making both Dean and Eddie turn to me.

"Oh yeah sure, lead on Eddie." Dean waved a hand, relief washing off him in waves as I made my way over to the Detective. _I guess Sam's talk didn't help. _I felt a little hurt that Dean wanted to be as far away from me as possible, but I pushed that feeling away as I reached the detective.

"Take it, you two don't get on well." Penn stated as I reached her. She had her back to me and took me a little by surprise.

"Excuse me?" I asked as she turned to me with a cold stare.

"You and that small agent, butt heads often I take it." She stated again without blinking.

"How'd?" I asked confused and tilting my head to the side slightly.

"Seen the way you two are around each other. You both can't seem to get away from the other fast enough." She stated before examining some of the blood splatter.

"Yeah, ok..." I hummed shaking my head as I looked at the blood too.

"Do your people have any leads on the weird symbol, any idea what it might mean?" I asked as Penn turned to face me fully again. This woman was all kinds of frosty with me, yet she had talked more to me than to any of the male officers in the whole room.

"We've run it through the gang squad, it's not a known gang tag. Tried the usual, nothing. So far we are assuming it's the mark of a new serial killer." She answered shortly.

"Thanks, let me know if you find anything else out." I muttered handing over a card and heading out to Sam. We all ducked under the police tape and made our way out of the building. I didn't bother looking at Dean as we made our way into the lobby.

"Who was that?" Dean asked Sam as I glanced at the pair.

"Neighbour. Said the vic's wife caught him cheating." Sam explained raising an eyebrow as he looked over to Dean more than me. Dean shrugged ignoring the look Sam was giving him. I didn't catch the look so presumed it was Sam trying to make Dean talk to me again.

"Yeah, but we're not thinking it's the wife." Dean argued shaking his head a little.

"Not unless she benches 350 and did the other guys as a warm-up." Sam sighed shaking his head too.

"Detective Penn seems to have a handle on things. She's had that symbol checked out and surprise, surprise, she had no idea what it is. For now they're working under the assumption that it's just the mark of the serial killer." I added as Dean reached into his pocket for his flask.

"Shoot. I left Bobby's flask over at- the bar! I mean in the bar." Dean quickly corrected as his eyes met mine for a heart beat before looking up at Sam sadly. Dean had kept Bobby's flask since we lost him. He literally took it everywhere with him. If it wasn't full of booze I would have thought it was a sweet way to keep Bobby with him always.

"The bar?" Sam asked surprised, looking almost like he didn't believe his brother. I turned to the pair raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah the one I was at last night, the Cobalt Room." Dean clarified, giving his brother a nod towards me. Sam looked at me and then back to Dean. The pair were acting kinda off with me, I wondered if they had gotten into an argument with each other over me too. The tension was getting higher again and I just wanted to get away.

"Well you should probably go get it back." I sighed out, pulling my hair loose. "I'm heading back to the motel, see if I can find anyone to help with this symbol thing." I added walking away from the pair.

"Megan, you um, want me to help out?" Sam asked as I paused at the door, both Sam and Dean watching me.

"Sure, whatever. I'm going to swing by the forensics lab and see if they have any variation in the carving then I'll meet you back at the motel?" I asked Sam as Dean looked at his feet.

"Sure, I'll bring the coffee." Sam nodded as I waved a hand at the pair disappearing into the sunshine.

* * *

><p>We searched the local area for anyone who could help us. Any hunter who could even come close to Bobby. Any sci-fi nut who might not realise that they were really onto something. Any university who might have a professor who could decipher the symbol for us. Turns out that there really was only ever one Bobby. No one came close. No one would ever come close. Sam found a department of anthropology with a professor who could, maybe give us a hand in all of this.<p>

"I just want to say before we walk in there, I didn't vote for this guy." I huffed looking at the pair as Dean looked between me and Sam confused.

"Well, he's the best of the bunch." Sam answered with a sarcastic smile as we walked into the room.

"Fascinating. Truly," Professor Morrison said as he studied the photos of the symbols we gave him. "And actually, rather accomplished craftsmanship." He added turning a photo on its side. I turned to Sam and gave him a small sarcastic _told you so_ smile which Sam also returned sarcastically.

"Yeah, if you get past the fact that it was carved into a guy's body." Dean huffed as he turned from the shelf he was examining.

"Professor Morrison, we're hoping you can tell us what the symbol means." Sam asked as Dean came and stood between the two seats, his hands tucking into his pockets.

"Ah, maybe." The professor answered still looking at the pictures.

"Maybe?" Sam asked as I glanced at the brothers. We were all sharing the same _what the hell_ expression.

"It's possible I could, even likely." Morrison answered putting the photos down and looking at all three of us. "Is the FBI offering suitable remuneration?" He asked looking between the three of us. Dean turned to Sam with wide eyes as I just simply rolled mine. I knew from the start this guy was going to be useless. I looked at some of his published work, the last couple of years the papers he published were just rubbish compared to his early work. He'd just given up on his career.

"The respect of a grateful nation." Sam answered sounding like a real FBI agent.

"And a good word with the I.R.S." Dean added when the professor's expression soured slightly.

"Ah. Well, it appears quite ancient." Morrison hummed softly.

"Well, that narrows it down." Dean muttered sarcastically as I glanced up at him. He gave me a small shrug. It was clear Dean didn't have patience for the guy either.

"A corrupted version of symbology associated with worship. Definitely an obscure regional script. Oh, this will require some research." Morrison concluded as we got to our feet.

"All right. Great. Well, uh, I guess we'll be seeing you tomorrow." Sam said as we got ready to leave.

"Tomorrow?" Morrison laughed shaking his head as he looked at all three of us. "I've spent entire sabbaticals on a project like this." He proclaimed looking down at the photo and then back to us.

"Professor! We have a serial killer on our hands." Dean insisted shaking his head.

"He will kill again, and soon." I added deadly serious.

"Your government needs you, sir." Sam added still playing FBI very well. Morrison, rubbed his eyes, pushing his glasses back up his face as he let out a heavy sigh. We were about to be played, I just knew it.

"Gentlemen, Ma'am. My housekeeper needs a green card." Morrison said dead serious, looking at all of us.

* * *

><p>We walked out of the room and I let out a sigh shaking my head. "Good God, where'd you find this guy?" Dean asked the pair of us as we all walked down the university hallway.<p>

"I tried to warn you." I chimed in holding my hands up. Sam let out a small grunt as he looked from me to Dean.

"He's supposed to be a top expert in his field." Sam sighed out.

"Yeah, well, when his field includes things that go bump in the night, he's gonna be worth the breath we just wasted." Dean grunted as we walked. It was clear to anyone that Dean hated that it wasn't Bobby we were turning to. It was bringing up emotions for all of us.

"So, what are we supposed to do, Dean? Spin our wheels?" Sam asked frustrated with how off hand Dean was being about it all.

"Sam, this _is _us spinning our wheels, okay?!" Dean snapped at the pair of us. Sam stopped walking, making me and Dean stop to turn and face him.

"Dean, you know what? I want to call him, too, okay? Believe me. Megan wants to call him too. We all want him here Dean. _We all do_. But Bobby's not here. So we're settling." Sam huffed shaking his head at Dean. I felt Dean glance at me for a second as I looked to the floor.

"Yeah. We sure are." Dean muttered taking out his phone and looking at who. "Damn it, why hasn't she called?" He asked aloud.

"Who?" I asked confused as Dean looked up and darted his eyes to Sam.

"The woman in the bar. I asked her to call if she found the flask." Dean answered actually looking at me. I felt Sam's eyes dart from me and Dean like a tennis match.

"So you're waiting for some bar maid to call you back?" I asked confused. I knew Dean pretty well, I had never seen him so worked up before. I was starting to wonder if this whole thing was really about the flask.

"Yeah, pretty much." Dean nodded, looking back at his phone.

"You sure you lost it in the bar?" I asked innocently as his eyes darted to me for a second before looking at his phone again.

"Yeah, I know exactly where I lost it." Dean grunted with a nod. "Screw it. I'm going over there and getting the flask." Dean huffed before walking away from us before either of us could argue.

"He seem... _off_ to you?" I asked turning to Sam, eyeing the younger Winchester. Out of the pair I knew if I had to, I could get Sam to crack.

"He really loves that flask." Sam answered with a shrug as he started to walk off too.

"Yeah, see it feels like there's something I'm missing." I huffed as we started to walk down the corridor. "How did the talk go with him?" I asked glancing up at Sam.

"It's Dean. He just got pissed at me." Sam shrugged as we continued to walk.

"Thanks for trying Sam." I said giving him a small smile. Sam nodded looking hurt for a minute before he quickly changed the topic.

* * *

><p>We went back to the motel to grab some food before we had to set off for the crime lab to see what Eddie had found out from the newest victim. I sat at the table while Sam sighed for the third time in five minutes. He seemed fidgety and couldn't seem to keep still no matter what he did. It wasn't often that I saw Sam so worked up.<p>

"You ok?" I asked looking up from my cup. I couldn't sense anything from him.

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine." He added, glancing around the room as he drummed a finger on the table.

"Sure, because you're acting it." I muttered as he looked at me and gave me a nervous smile.

"Sorry." He said honestly, blowing the air out of his cheeks.

"You know you're a terrible liar Sam Winchester." I said firmly looking up at the giant.

"I am?!" He nearly choked out as he looked at me with wide eyes.

"Yeah, I mean I don't need any help to see something is eating at you." I said with a small smile.

"Megan, look I just-" Sam started to explain as his eyes darted around the room

"Call him." I sang out as Sam snapped his head to me. "He's late, he's been like an hour already. At this rate he isn't even going to make it."

"Yeah, I probably should." Sam sighed taking a sip of his coffee. "He's already late." Sam added with a huff.

"It's Dean, when is he ever on time?" I joked taking a sip of my coffee as I looked over to Sam.

"Good point." Sam smirked as he pulled out his phone and dialled the number while he finished his drink.

"_Hello._" Dean answered as Sam swallowed the last of coffee and put the cup down on the side.

"Mm. Hey. Where are you? It's a flask, not the holy grail." Sam joked as I laughed a little. Sam as right, Dean was treating the flask like it was the holy grail or something.

"_Hey, man, I'm a people person, all right? I'm engaging in some social skills._" Dean answered as Sam frowned. I was playing with my cup of coffee and I wasn't sure if Sam knew I could hear Dean's end of the call. My hearing had picked up to the levels it used to be, but I wasn't back to my full werewolf side. I hadn't changed or used my strength. But I was feeing emotions from people occasionally, only if they were strong emotions, and I could ease drop calls. "_You get anything out of Morrison?_" Dean asked as Sam let out a small sigh.

"No. Not yet. Look, would you get back here?" He asked as he slipped on his jacket I finished my drink and got to my feet too, putting the cup on the side. "Uh, we're due at the crime lab." Sam added then he pulled his phone away from his ear. "Dean?" He asked putting it back.

"_Hang on._" Dean seemed to whisper. Sam turned to me shaking his head as I looked, waiting for an explanation.

"Hey, look, why don't you just..." Sam said down the line then sighed again. "Great I'm talking to myself."

"We need to go Sam." I said softly as Sam ran a hand through his hair.

"I know." He sighed shaking his head. "You there? HELLO!" Sam practically shouted down the phone.

"_Let me call you back._" Dean answered before hanging up.

"Great." Sam huffed putting his phone back into his pocket.

"See, this is what I mean about him acting weird." I pointed out as we headed out of the motel room.

"He just _really_ wants to get the flask back." Sam answered as we got in the car.

* * *

><p>We got to the morgue and was met by Eddie who took us to the latest victim. He walked us through the autopsy, making sure we knew of anything that could really help us.<br>"So, again, we got a guy weighing about two bills, thrown into a wall so hard, he's got pieces of plaster lodged in his skull." Eddie explained as we walked away from the body, Sam and Eddie covering it with a sheet. I opened my mouth to ask a question when Detective Penn stormed into the room, looking straight at Sam with a look that could kill.

"What triggered the Feds' involvement in this case? I always think you boys have bigger fish to fry." She asked giving him nothing but her cold shoulder.

"No. Actually, we – we" Sam stammered as he glanced over his shoulder to me. "It's-"

"I just figured it was the similarity to the other cold cases? If it's the same killer, then he crossed state lines – that would bring you guys in." Eddie buttered in getting a glare from Detective Penn.

"Well, that's exactly right. Uh, what he said." Sam answered nodding his head to Eddie. I offered Eddie a small thank you smile Penn didn't see.

"Yeah. Whatever. You're gonna have to wrap this up. Your case isn't the only one we're working on." Penn snapped looking at the pair of us with a glare that would make most people shy away.

"We will try our best Detective." I answered as Sam just nodded. Penn left as quickly as she appeared. Sam turned to Eddie in half shock.

"You get used to her." Eddie shrugged, shaking his head a little.

"Uh, so, Eddie, by the way, we didn't bring the cold-case files with us. Is there a chance you have a copy?" Sam asked giving me a small glance as Eddie turned his back on us. The glance said we should probably work fast to wrap us this case before Penn tries to call our superiors.

"Yeah." Eddie answered as he hit a few keys on a computer.

"Great." Sam sighed out as he picked up an evidence bag, examining it. "The Cobalt Room." He muttered as his eyebrows knitted together. I glanced and met Sam's eyes. That was the bar that Dean had gone to scope out the first night we hit town.

"Mm! Yeah, it's pretty well known. Looking to hook up, it's a pretty good place to go." Eddie explained with a small smile as he looked at the pair of us.

"That so?" I asked folding my arms over my chest, glancing at Sam who looked guilty as sin.

"Vic number two was there." Eddie explained passing a file over to Sam. "And according to his security guard, he left with a hot girl. Two days later, he's an obituary." He added with a small shrug.

"Same with Jerry Price." Sam added reading from the file.

"Mm-hmm. And, uh, as far as we can tell, at least a couple of those in there." Eddie continued pointing to the file in Sam's hands.

"Same thing in Chicago." Sam noted and I snapped my head up.

"Chicago." I echoed shaking my head as I remembered where I had seen the symbols before.

"Yep. A lot of busted marriages, flings with unknown women, that kind of thing, all just before they got offed." Eddie explained as I frowned.

"Thanks." Sam said to Eddie as we walked out of the room. As soon as I was sure we were out of ear shot of Eddie I scoffed shaking my head.

"I remember now." I huffed looking up at Sam, who still had the files. "That's where I've seen the symbol before!" I cried out nodding to the files.

"You were there?" Sam asked confused.

"It wasn't long before I changed, I caught wind of these murders. Some weird symbol, our symbol," I added pointing to the file. "It was carved into the chest of some guys. I barely got into it when... when I changed and I had to leave. I was too young to get into the case like we do now. I tried to work the club angle but... I was working through all these changes, I had to leave the case and head home." I admitted shaking my head. "I so knew it was case back then! Should have stuck with it!" I scoffed kicking myself for not doing more when I could have.

"You had no idea, you were new to hunting back then." Sam objected shaking his head a little. "Hell you had bigger things to deal with." He added as we walked down the corridor.

"We need to fill Dean in, especially if all our victims have spent the night in the Colbert Room just before being murdered." I added with a sigh. It would be typical for Dean to stumble into the one connection all the victims had.

"Yeah, you're right, you wanna call him or me?" Sam asked looking down at me. Something stirred within me, so deep down fear that just talking to Dean would lead to fighting.

"I think you should. We're still not really talking." I sighed running a hand through my hair and tucking some behind my ear. Sam nodded pulling his phone out as we found a small room for some quiet.

"_Yeah?_" Dean sounded a little distracted as I read the files Eddie had given us. I was just skim reading them as I listened to their conversation.

"Dude. You never showed." Sam sighed annoyed as he paced in front of me.

"_I'm outside Lydia's._" Dean answered and I paused. This was the first time I had either of them mention a Lydia and I was wondering why Dean was outside her house. Sam glanced at me before turning his back on me.

"Oh, come on, man. What, are you obsessed or something?" Sam asked in a hushed tone. "You do realise Megan is here with me right?"

"_No, I'm telling you. I have been eating at the buffet of strange all afternoon._" Dean answered still sounding like he was preoccupied with something.

"Meaning what?" Sam asked turning back to face me and pace again.

"_I'll tell you the second I know. But something ain't right._" Dean huffed down the line.

"Or you're obsessed." Sam teased a little.

"_Shut up. I'm serious._" Dean snapped down the phone.

"Okay, uh, you, you need backup or..." Sam asked glancing over me. At the word back up I looked up at Sam waiting to see if we had to move.

"_No, not yet. What's up on your end?_" Dean asked as Sam shook his head and I went back to the file.

"Apparently, there was an identical murder fest ever two years going back to Chicago in 06. All the victims were young, successful a lot of them went to the same bar. It lines up. The trails always went cold fast." Sam explained as he paced.

"_Wait 06? Wasn't Megan in Chicago then?_" Dean asked plainly as he connected the dots. I had to admit I was kinda surprised that he remembered I went to university there.

"Yeah, that's where she remembered the symbol from. She didn't have much time to work the case though." Sam added glancing at me as I sighed a little.

"_Yeah?_" Dean asked sighing a little too.

"Yeah that was around the time _she...changed._" Sam explained with a small sigh as he paced in front of me. "Oh, and by the way. As a personal kicker, here, at least some of the vics hooked up in that bar you went to, the, uh, the Cobalt Room. So, just saying, man, you, you dodged a bullet." Sam explained with a sarcastically smirk as he talked.

"_Got to go._" Dean jumped in, hanging up before anyone could speak.

"Nice talk." Sam sighed looking at his phone before looking at me. "Guess he had to go."

"He ok?" I asked closing the file in front of me.

"Yeah, just he thinks he's found something weird. He's looking into it." Sam nodded tucking his phone away as we started to walk out of the building. I just nodded wondering if the weird Dean was looking into really had to do with this Lydia chick he was sat outside of.

* * *

><p>That night I went to my room to get a shower and try and remember anything useful from the case in Chicago. As the hot water hit my skin I let out a heavenly sigh, the water relaxed muscles I didn't even know I had tense. I started to think about the case. About the symbol and the guys involved. I remembered that all the guys had cheated on their partners with women they had met in the same bar. It was the same here. All the victims had cheated with women they had met in the Colbert Room. Dean was in the Colbert Room when he lost his flask. Then there was this Lydia he was sat outside of.<p>

_He wouldn't cheat on me? Right? I mean it's just a stupid thought. It has to be right? I mean he loves me. I love him._ I frowned as the chasm in my stomach felt so hollow. _We've been fighting for months now. It's getting worse. I mean just before he went to the bar he said he didn't want me around anymore. He wanted me gone. But he was mad, right?_ Something stirred in my stomach as I thought about how the brothers seemed to be acting around me. _Both of them have been acting weird. Sam has been lying to me, I know he has. Does he know? Has he been covering for Dean?_ I bit my lip as the water turned cold. I got out of the shower and changed into some jeans and a shirt. I dried my hair and tied it into a messy bun. _Lydia, a woman he just met. He's sat outside her house all day. He lost his flask. The only way he'd loose that flask was if he took his clothes off... he always leaves it in the same pocket, never, ever leaves it out. No one pick pockets Dean Winchester either. He had to have lost it at Lydia's while he..._ A tear rolled down my cheek as I brushed it away.

"I gotta be wrong. I'm just over thinking everything. I just need to talk to the pair of them. Get Dean to clear it all up. He loves me. I love him. He would never..." I let out a heavy sigh as I grabbed my phone, tucking it into my jeans pocket. I scrubbed my face before walking out of my room and heading over to the guys. I walked over to their room and hovered my hand over to knock when I heard the pair talking.

"_So what? I mean, so maybe Lydia has another kid she didn't tell you about._" Sam countered, it sounded like I had caught them mid-conversation.

"_Nope, just the one. Emma. But that night, when I was with her, she didn't have any. And I was at her place, man. There was no playpens, no blankets, no rubber ducks._" Dean answered as my heart sunk a little. _Maybe he was just fallowing a lead and that's why he was at her house. He could have been working the case._ I tried to convince myself.

"_Right. Like you would have been focused on that kind of thing._" Sam scoffed as my felt all the air escape my lungs in a rush. _No. No he wouldn't... _

"_Hey, dude, that's the _first_ thing you notice. Red flags._" Dean answered as his voice went further away from the door. My heart lurched into my throat as there was no way I could misunderstand what they were talking about. Dean had spent the night at Lydia's house. He had actually cheated on me and Sam knew. I felt like I couldn't breath as I forced my legs to take me back to my room. I closed the door and pressed my back hard against it as hot tears rolled down my cheeks.

"He cheated on me... he... why?" I gasped out as I slid down the door wrapping my arms around knees as I sobbed into them. Nothing made sense to me. I mean sure we fought and lately we fought a lot but I never, _never_, imagined that Dean would ever cheat on me. I felt a pain inside, a pain so raw unlike anything I had ever felt. It hurt more than the Leviathans, than the torture any demon had put me through, worse than being killed. The pain was unbearable. _He doesn't love me. Did he ever? Is she the first? Has he done it to me before? Does he even care?_ Something snapped in me. A rage that built quicker than anything I could ever control. I leapt to my feet and flipped the table over smashing the chairs into the walls as I felt the rage feed into my werewolf side. I blinked and God help me, I knew I had changed. The rage was all I felt; the anger, hurt and betrayal rolling into one rage fuelled moment where I tore my room apart. All I could see was red. I smashed up everything in the room. Breaking as much as I could to try and expel the rage that was seeping out of my pours. I had never felt a rage like it and I knew deep down inside me, how dangerous I could be. I destroyed the room in a matter of minutes. I dropped to my knees in the middle of the destruction when the door to my room came crashing in. Both Sam and Dean stood there with their guns drawn looking for some monster to shoot.

"Megan?! What happened? Are you ok?" Sam cried out as Dean went to check the windows, kicking the door shut after him. I didn't say a word, I just looked at the blood on my hands. I had managed to bust open both my knuckles, but they were healing right in front of my eyes. I didn't feel any pain from them. I didn't feel much of anything.

"Megan, hey, hey are you here?" Dean asked softly as the pair dropped onto their knees either side of me. I blinked at Dean's voice. He was the reason for all this pain in side of me. He was the reason all the rage was burning through my veins. He was the reason for everything I hated in that moment. I looked up at Dean and glared as he looked shocked. "Megan?" He asked softly, his eyes darting to Sam for a second.

"Megan, your, your eyes their green." Sam stammered in shock, as I kept my eyes locked on Dean.

"Megan, are you hurt?" Dean asked tucking his gun down the back of his waist band. I just kept looking into those green orbs I had fallen so stupidly in love with. He was the one. The one man I had thought I wanted. The one man I thought would want to spend the rest of my life with. I loved him with everything I ever was. I thought he felt the same way about me. I was wrong. I must have been so stupid to think that I could change the great Dean Winchester. The rage bubbled in me and before I knew it my fist was connecting with Dean's jaw knocking him to the ground hard.

"Megan! What the hell?!" Sam cried out as he pulled me back, making us both fall onto our backsides. I still couldn't tear my eyes off of Dean; the hate I felt for him filling the chasm inside me. Dean wiped the blood off his split lip as he sat up, shaking his head a little.

"You mind telling me what the hell that was all about?" Dean asked bitterly, dabbing his lip to stop the bleeding.

"Lydia." I growled, a mixture of my own voice and the voice of the werewolf in side of me. I watched as all the colour drained from Dean's face as Sam let go of my arm. "I hope she was worth it Dean." I added getting to my feet and walking out of the room without even looking at either Winchester.

* * *

><p>I walked around town a couple of times. I had to keep moving. I had to get rid of the rage that threatened to let my wolf side totally loose. I ended up sat on a bench in a park about three in the morning. My whole body was shaking as the realisation of everything hit me so hard. I wanted to cry but tears just wouldn't form. I felt the chasm within me fill with anger and hatred though. There was a part of me that didn't care if she was the first of the twentieth. That part of me wished that they would come for him. Toss him around like some rag doll before cutting off his feet and hands. That part of me knew he deserved that and oh so much more.<br>But that was just a part of me.  
>A bigger part hurt with a raw pain I hadn't really felt before. But it needed to know if she was the only one. How long Sam had known and just why they hell I wasn't good enough any more. I was sat lost in all my thoughts when my phone rang. I pulled it out and saw it was Sam. I looked down at the goofy smiling face that appeared and wondered if I should pick up. I knew if I didn't then the pair would only come looking for me.<p>

"Hello." I answered, all the emotion was missing out of my voice.

"_Are you ok?_" Sam asked softly. "_I mean I know you're not ok. But are you safe?_" Sam asked correcting himself. I looked around the empty park and let out a small sigh.

"Yeah." I finally answered, my eyes scanning the park.

"_I'm so sorry I kept it all from you. I made Dean promise to tell you when I found out. I kinda punched him too... He promised he was waiting for the right time to tell you._" Sam blurted out making that raw pain spike in my heart. My breath caught in my throat as I nodded, I wasn't shocked, but the the truth ripped me apart inside.

"How long have you known?" I asked biting my lip so hard I felt the blood in my mouth.

"_Since he lost his flask_." Sam answered sounding ashamed of himself.

"He wasn't there that morning was he?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"_Megan-_" Sam started to plead with me, when I cut him off.

"You were protecting him." I scoffed out as a tear fell. _Winchesters always stick together._

"_I don't know what I was doing Megan. I was hoping it was all a big mistake._" Sam answered honestly. I could hear the truth in his voice and it was killing me. It was real. All of it as really happening.

"He cheated on me Sam." I sobbed out as a few more tears fell. My heart was ripped into a thousand pieces.

"_I'm sorry._" Sam answered and I let out a small sarcastic chuckle.

"Pretty sure he's the one who is supposed to say that." I replied feeling the numbness start to wash over my body. It was a welcome relief from the rage and pain that was consuming me.

"_He's sorry. So damn sorry._" Sam answered softly as I heard some movement near Sam.

"So sorry he's got you to call and check up on me?" I barked out shaking my head, as I wiped away the tears. I didn't want Dean to hear me cry, I didn't want him to see how badly he had ripped me apart.

"_Like you would have picked up if he called._" Sam teased a little actually making me smile for a second.

"I guess." I sighed out, looking at my feet as the numbness totally took over. The line went silent for a few minutes and I could just tell that the brothers were sharing a silent conversation between the pair. The phone rustled against some fabric before I heard anything else. I heard someone take a deep breath as they put the phone to their ear. I knew it was Dean, without him having to say a single word. I waited, waiting to hear what lies he intended to tell me. Seconds went by, quickly turning to minutes when I heard a sigh and the phone was past back. I heard the mouth piece being covered as Sam's voice came out muffled, he was calling for Dean to come back. It didn't sound like Dean was listening as Sam let out a heavy sigh moving his hand back from the mouth piece.

"_I'm here if you need anything. Please Megan, don't think you're in this alone._" Sam spoke letting out a soft sigh.

"Thanks Sam." I hung up and looked around the empty park, the numbness taking over everything within me. Eventually I went back to my motel room. I spent a couple of hours putting things back together. When the room was clean I just sat on the floor, my back against the bed frame as I drank a few bottles of beer. The numbness had taken away everything that made me want to rip the world apart but it didn't take away the feeling that it was all my fault. That somehow, some way it was _me_. That I wasn't good enough for Dean. It made me think if I was ever good enough for Dean. I started to think that it was all me. He cheated because I just wasn't enough, I could never been enough. After all that's why Sam had Lisa as a back up right? Even he knew I wasn't enough. The angels had always said I was a half-breed, they warned me to stay away from him for his own good. Hell I was an Omega, I was destined to be a bad guy right? I was never meant to be with Dean.

_Everyone was right. All of them. I was never put on this planet to be with Dean. Hell I was put here to bring pain and hurt to those closest to me. I was only ever here to get Dean to the Apocalypse and then I was meant to die. Maybe I should have stayed dead. Maybe when I left Dean to Lisa, I should have made sure I never crossed paths with either Winchester. Maybe I should have made the deal with Cass to wipe my existence from everyone's minds. No, I was never meant to be with Dean Winchester, this has been one big arse car crash happening in slow motion. I knew it would catch up with me eventually.  
><em>I let those thoughts cloud my mind as I fell asleep.

* * *

><p>I woke in the morning by Morrison calling to say that he had discovered about the symbol that we just had to see. Apparently he hadn't got the memo that I never wanted to lay eyes on Dean Winchester again. We had a case, and even if Dean was going to be the next victim I had to keep investigating. We had no idea who else was involved. I pulled up at the university minutes after Sam and Dean. Dean's bust lip was out there for everyone to see as the pair turned to me. I got out of the car and nodded to Sam.<p>

"You wanna keep working this?" Sam asked me utterly shocked then he glanced over his shoulder to Dean.

"It's a case, we work it to the end." I spoke glancing up at Sam. I stalked over to Dean and stood dead centre in front of him, my eyes locking with his instantly. "Don't talk to me. Don't think about talking to me. And if you wanna make it through this case alive stay away from me." I growled up at him before walking off into the university giving no chance for questions. Morrison said that he had a presentation that he wanted to show us to explain what he had discovered about the symbol. I sat one side of the projector with Sam while Dean sat at the other side alone. The whole time I could feel Dean's eyes drilling into me. I knew he was watching me without having to even look around. Normally I would turn, move, react in some way to that heavy gaze of his but now... now the numbness meant I could completely ignore it.

"You know, identifying the scroll was no day at the beach. Lesser scholars would have crumbled." Morrison said trying to big himself up. I rubbed the bridge of my nose, I really didn't have the patients to deal with him anymore.

"Professor... the symbol?" Sam prompted him after seeing my reaction.

"Yeah. Yeah. It's ancient, regional. _Very _difficult to identify. But I managed to find a match." He explained pointing to his slide show. "It's a variation of a symbol associated with the Greek Pantheon, the temple of the goddess Harmonia. According to myth, the coupling of Harmonia and Ares, the God of war, produced the Amazons." He explained showing us a couple of pictures.

"The Amazons?" Sam choked out confused as I lent forward, examining the images he was showing.

"Like Wonder Woman?" Dean asked dumbing it down, I rolled my eyes biting my tongue so I didn't say something cruel to him.

"No, like, like a tribe of warriors. They actually existed. The comic books, they're just silly perversions. The symbol I believe it originated with the Amazons. Pictographs meant to pay homage to Harmonia, occult talismans, if you will. They had an exclusively female culture. No use for men whatsoever, except procreation." Morrison explained showing a few pictures to back up his evidence.

"All the vics were male." Sam pointed out, glancing at me. I nodded in agreement, the Amazon angle did seem to fit at least.

"So you said, with this symbol carved in their chests." Morrison pointed to a slide that had the symbol broken into two other symbols.

"And their hands and feet cut off." I added shaking my head.

"Now, _that _is interesting." Morrison said pointing to me with a smile. I fought not to roll my eyes at him.

"Got our attention." Dean muttered making Morrison frown a little.

"After they were impregnated, they killed the male, first cutting off certain body parts." Morrison explained as Sam turned to Dean with a look. I just focused on the slide. I couldn't bring myself to look at Dean right now. At the talk of sex my skin crawled, thinking what Dean had done with this _Lydia_ he picked up. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

* * *

><p>We went back to the motel and I got changed. Sam said that he and Dean were going through Bobby's boxes of books for anything that could be helpful now that we knew that we were going up against the Amazons. Sam also insisted that I didn't have to be there, but I figured the sooner we finished the case the faster I could get away from Dean Winchester. I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer.<p>

"Megan?" Dean asked utterly shocked as he looked behind me for someone. "Um, Sam's getting the last box... I can get him to grab you... if um you want." He mumbled, avoiding looking me in the eyes. He was so guilty that it was pouring out of his whole being. He knew how badly he had hurt me, I could see it in his eyes. I took a deep breath as I looked at him. I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes any longer so I focused on his chest. I could hear his heart racing as I stood there, his body tense waiting to see how I was going to react. _The faster you finish this case, the faster you can get the hell away from this jerk_. My mind seemed to answer the fears I had festering inside me. I blinked and nodded a little to myself.

"I um... I can work through the other boxes or something." I muttered back as he stepped aside so that I could walk in the room. I held my breath as I walked past him, my mind racing with a million questions I had for him. I paused a few steps after him, the courage building enough within me to ask why._ Why I wasn't enough. Why he went with her. Why did we fall apart after everything we'd been through. Just Why._ I turned to face him and as soon as I saw his face it all went. All the courage to ask went. The guilt in his green eyes caught in my breath as my mind went blank. His emotions were too strong, they stifled my own thoughts. I knew it would be a long time before I could really talk to Dean about all of this. I let out a small sigh and went to one of the boxes. I pulled out a rather large monster manual we had used when we were looking up Angel info. I dusted it off and sat at the table.

"You want a drink?" Dean asked just barely audible as I looked up from the book and met his gaze. Neither of us spoke as I just looked into his green eyes. The guilt was washing off him in waves. He was so damn guilty he didn't know how to fix it. I noticed the tears trying to form in his eyes as he blinked them back. He looked exhausted, I was guessing he wasn't sleeping. It was tearing him apart. Internally I was dying to punch him until he stopped moving, rip him apart until he explained why he slept with her. I wanted to react but my body wouldn't let me. I just looked into those guilty green eyes.

"No... um thanks." I uttered, tearing my eyes off him and focusing all my attention to the book. I heard Dean clear his throat as he went to grab a beer. We sat in utter silence for hours it felt like. I focused everything I had on the book. I didn't trust myself to look away from it. Sam came with the last book, I felt his gaze as he looked between me and Dean utterly confused.

* * *

><p>We worked in silence for the majority. Me and Sam seemed to look through books Dean thought might help. There was plenty to look through, not that it all was helpful. In the silence I felt Dean watch me, just watch me. It didn't feel like how he used to watch me, this time it felt... I can't quite put it into words, but I think he was trying to work up the courage to talk to me about Lydia. I think. But with Sam around giving him evils every time he caught his big brother watching me, there was no way Dean would approach that subject with me.<p>

"I know Bobby's got a Grecian encyclopedia of weird in here. I saw it last time I was looking through this stupid... Would it kill him to have a system?" Dean whined as he brushed the dust off his hand onto his jeans.

"He _has _a system. His files are set up like his brain." Sam joked taking a sip of his coffee as I looked up at the pair. I watched as Dean took the flask out of his pocket and take a quick drink. Seeing the flask I dropped my eyes back to the book. The hurt rising to the surface again.

"You got anything?" Dean asked being careful to move and sit near to Sam on the edge of the bed, and keep his distance from me.

"Uh, yeah." Sam answered hitting a key to bring up _Greek Mythology – The Amazons_ from a search engine. "There's this whole crazy side to Amazon lore that Professor Morrison didn't even mention." He added.

"That's 'cause he doesn't believe in it, which is a real handicap when you're trying to deal with it." Dean muttered sarcastically as he opened the book in his hands.

"Told you." I added glancing at Sam, knowing Morrison was never going to be too helpful to us. Sam frowned at the pair of us before continuing.

"Right. Um, apparently, there was this long, bloody war. The Amazon population was decimated, so they made a bargain with Harmonia to replenish their ranks and make them stronger." Sam explained what he had found out.

"Well, I'd say throwing grown men through walls was stronger." Dean commented looking over at his little brother.

"Yeah. Well, basically, they became more than human. Harmonia turned them into monsters." Sam added with a shrug.

"Can you kill them like humans? Or is there some kind of trick?" Dean asked glancing at the book in his hands.

"Uh, doesn't say. No idea. I guess it could go either way." Sam replied unhelpfully.

"Well, that's helpful." Dean said sarcastically "What else?" He asked glancing at Sam. Sam turned to me, knowing I had discovered a few things.

"The lore says they reproduced quickly, after mating, they gave birth within 36 hours." I read from the page and noticed Dean stopped flicking through his book and was really paying attention to what I was saying. "The babies grew incredibly fast, then the aging process became normal."

"Which is one way to make an army, I guess." Sam commented making Dean look at both of us as I continued.

"The mating cycle is every two years. They send out all the women who have reached child-bearing age." I added frowning a little.

"Which lines up, 'cause this happens every couple of years in different towns, right?" Dean asked pausing to take it all in.

"Yeah. And we know for sure that at least some of the vics hooked up with strange women days before being killed Amazon style." Sam added as Dean closed the book and put it down by the side of him. His eyes darted to mine and the guilt washed off his more. Something stirred in my stomach as I knew he was about to say something that was going to make things worse.

"Hooked up in the same bar I met Lydia, right?" Dean asked being careful not to look at me again.

"Yeah." Sam frowned, glancing over to me and giving me a small sad smile.

"And then suddenly," Dean got up and walked over to Sam's side, far away from me. "She's got a little baby in like fruit-fly time. That baby turns into a little girl just as fast." Dean explained as I felt his eyes on me again. I turned my hand into a fist and couldn't believe what I was hearing. The rage bubbled inside me and it was taking everything to keep my wolf side in check. Dean noticed, I felt Dean tense but Sam, bless him was too caught up with Dean's stupidity to notice.

"Wow. So maybe you're, you're, uh..." Sam concluded as I just watched Dean. My fist going to tight that the pain was keeping me on this side of sane. Dean froze as we both let Sam's words sink in. And boy did they sink in deep with me.

"Don't say it." Dean warned Sam as I shook my head. I couldn't bare it! I couldn't believe it! Dean was so-

"You got her pregnant too!" I ground out as I glared at Dean. If what he was implying was right, he not only cheated on me but made a kid with this bitch.

"Megan- I, I-" Dean stumbled over his words as he looked at me.

"Not only did you sleep with this... this bitch! But you... you didn't even- I can't believe you!" I snapped from the table as the blood trickled down my fist. Dean's eyes snapped to the blood as he opened his mouth to say something.

"Look, if that kid's yours-" Sam jumped in realising that Dean was in danger from the Amazons.

"I said don't say it!" Dean snapped at Sam as I just felt more betrayed then before. Cheating was one thing, but making a whole new life was just...

"Fine. I won't." Sam huffed, pouting a little as he folded his arms over his chest. Sam glanced at me and noticed the blood dripping from my fist. "Megan?" Sam asked softly, full of worry about me.

"How could you?! How could you just... Did you even think about what you were doing with _her_?" I asked standing up from the table. I gripped the table so that I didn't lash out at him, but I could feel the cheap wood bending under my grip.

"Megan, please, I just-" Dean started to try and explain himself when Sam got up and walked over to me.

"Dean... Dude, seriously, a one-night stand, you're just gonna... roll the dice? You don't even-" Sam was on his soap box, chastising his big brother for being a complete idiot.

"Of course not... Sam. What, do you think I'm brain-dead? Accidents happen. If one even did, which I-I-I don't think..." Dean eyes darted to mine as I brushed away tears I hadn't realised that fallen. Dean realised just how much damage his one night stand was really doing and I felt the anger rise up within him. "Megan... I am... so... so sorry." Dean's voice came out as a whisper, nothing like the voice I had come to hearing from him. I saw the hurt reflect in his own eyes as I shook my head.

"You didn't even think Dean. Not once did you think of me, or us!" I snapped shaking my head as Sam wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I let go of the table and felt two hand shaped dents in the wood.

"I never meant- Megan please I just-" Dean stopped as I felt the glare Sam was aiming at his big brother.

"Maybe you should stop talking Dean." Sam growled protectively of me.

"No. You know what? We're – stop. We're not gonna talk about this anymore because my skin's starting to crawl!" He snapped walking back over to the bed.

"You destroyed Megan's life and you're bothered about how it makes _you_ feel?" Sam snapped as he stormed into his brothers face. The tension between the pair was only feeding into the rage I was desperately trying to keep under control.

"Sammy- just don't!" Dean growled in a warning tone as I took a deep breath.

"Maybe you should have thought of that before sleeping with her Dean." Sam snapped with all the venom in his voice. I glared at Dean. He couldn't even look at me in the eyes.

"I never meant to hurt you Megan." Dean uttered looking to the floor, his voice breaking with emotion.

"Doesn't change the fact you slept with an Amazon Dean. Doesn't stop the fact you made a kid with her." I added letting all the betrayal and hurt seep over every word that left my mouth. Sam walked back over to me, his arm resting protectively over my shoulders as he stood by my side.

"If it's true, if it happened..." Sam let his sentence die away.

"I know. I got to hang on to my hands and feet." Dean muttered taking another drink from his flask, his eyes looking anywhere but at me and Sam.

"You make me feel sick Dean. I just... I can't even look at you right now." I cried out shaking my head as I stormed out of the room and as far away from Dean as possible.

* * *

><p>I needed space from Dean, the revelation that he might have a kid with this bitch was too much for me to process without ripping everything apart again. After about an hour or so Sam called saying he was swinging by to take me back to see the old professor. When he picked me up he gave me those damn puppy dog eyes.<p>

"I'm so sorry for all of this Megan." Sam sighed as he glanced at me as he drove.

"He did it. Not you. I get keeping it to yourself." I admitted looking out the window as I felt my heart breaking all over again. "You protect family." I sighed out.

"You're family too." Sam huffed. "I just... I didn't know how to tell you... I am, I'm so sorry for hurting you." Sam added giving me the puppy dog eyes. I never blamed Sam for any of it. He was just being loyal, he didn't want anyone to get hurt.

"It's ok Sam. Honestly." I answered looking straight ahead. I felt if I looked into his eye much longer I would have fallen apart and not been able to finish the case.

"I can't believe he knocked her up. He... I can't..." Sam let out a heavy sigh.

"I don't understand either. I don't understand any of this." I sighed out as I concentrated on the world passing by the window. "I mean, is it me? Is there something wrong with me?" I asked aloud for the first time since finding out he cheated.

"What?! No!" Sam cried out as I turned to him, the tears forming in my eyes.

"I mean, am I not the same person I was before? What have the Leviathans done to me? Have they changed me? Made me less? Am I not the same person I was Sam? I just...I want to know why he..." My voice broke as I wiped the tears away. I noticed Sam's knuckles turn white as he gripped the wheel.

"He did this Megan. Dean is the one to blame. Not you, never you." Sam ground out in a low voice. "You did nothing wrong. Please, please don't think it was you." Sam added softer as he glanced at me.

"I really love him. It just... it hurts so bad Sam, I just want it to stop hurting." I sobbed a little as I noticed the tears reach Sam's eyes too.

"It will, it's just going to take time." Sam said sadly as he looked at me.

"I can't be around him anymore Sam. I need to go, we finish this case and I'm in the wind." I said as the tears fell. It crushed me to walk away from the only family I had left, yet I knew I had to. I couldn't be around Dean. Not now. Not after this.

"I know. He knows." Sam answered as we pulled up to the university.

* * *

><p>We went to the office of professor Morrison and noticed the light was still on. We walked in, Sam leading the way as the professor gave us a loud audible sigh fallowed by throwing his arms in the air.<br>"Oh, you have got to be kidding." He scoffed glancing at the clock. "I have office hours tomorrow-" He started to say.

"I'm sorry, Professor. We need your help." Sam cut him off as I passed him the parchment Sam and Dean had found amongst Bobby's stuff.

"The FBI isn't paying me enough for this." He muttered picking it up and examining the parchment. I glanced at Sam with a raised eye brow. _The FBI aren't paying you jack._

"All right. I'll sweeten the deal. We'll remove your wiretap." Sam added making the professor look up at us both alarmed. I gave Sam a small smirk as Morrison went back to studying the paper.

"It's fascinating." Morrison hummed after half an hour of silence.

"What's it say?" Sam asked sitting forward in his chair.

"Oh, I haven't gotten there yet. The paper is handmade. A cellulose, rather like papyrus, which would explain its durability." Morrison explained annoying the hell out of me.

"Professor-" Sam started diplomatically,

"You know what, look we need it translated- now." I snapped glaring at Morrison as he sat mouth wide open.

"You're country would greatly appreciated it." Sam added trying to keep Morrison on our good side.

"Wherever did you get it?" Morrison asked Sam, keeping an eye on me as I shifted uncomfortably in the chair.

"Uh... a – a crazy, drunk, old genius." Sam answered thinking of Bobby. My heart saddened to think what Bobby would of made of the situation we found ourselves in. _Bloody idjit Dean! That boy always thinks with his pants first. Want me to shoot him for you Honey? _A sad smile crossed my face as I thought of what he would say to me.

"Yeah. They always have the good stuff. Well, it's in Greek." Morrison explained.

"No sh-" I muttered under my breath when Sam cut me off, loudly.

"Yeah, yeah. We-we know that." Sam said straight to the professor before raising an eyebrow to me.

"Not a common dialect. My God, what is it with you and Amazons?" Morrison asked looking up from the parchment.

"Professor, it's important." Sam pressed.

"At 11:30 at night, it better be. Oh, here's a new twist. It repeats the conventional lore. Amazon warriors mate with males. The males are murdered. Yada, yada. But according to this... It's not the women who do the killing. Instead, a ritual of initiation requires that the child born of the mating process must kill her own father." Morrison explained as both me and Sam shared a worried look.

"What?" Sam added as we thanked Morrison and made our way out of the building. Sam pulled out his phone as we rushed down the hall.

"We need to warn him." Sam said scrolling for Dean's number.

"This is... I'm about to save my cheating husband from his killer Amazonian daughter." I scoffed shaking my head as Detective Penn appeared out of no where making both me and Sam slightly startled.

"Detective." Sam said as Penn glanced at me.

"Agents. You're here late." Penn said looking at Sam.

"Yeah. Listen, could we talk in the morning?" Sam asked as we started to walk down the stairs. Penn grabbed Sam's arm as I reached the bottom step.

"What's your hurry Sam? Sam Winchester." Penn said and then looked down at me. "And of course Megan O'Connor."

"Sam?" I asked realising that we really needed to get to Dean. But at the same time I didn't want to leave Sam here alone.

"I got this. Go." Sam said seriously as he looked from Penn to me.

"You sure?" I asked as Penn watched us.

"Sure. Go." Sam said plainly as I just nodded and ran out of the door.

* * *

><p>As I ran out of the door I was met by a woman with a long light brown hair. She was taller than me, in just a t-shirt and dark jeans. I noticed she had a scar on her wrist that matched the Amazons. I didn't expect Penn to be alone.<p>

"You really wanna do this?" I asked smirking a little. A good fight would do me the world of good. I needed to release some of the rage that built in me and beating the shit of some Amazonian would do just nicely.

"I so do." She smirked as red flooded around her eyes making them dark and almost black. I stood up straight and nodded.

"Let me guess Amazon?" I asked with chuckle, taking off my jacket and throwing it to the floor.

"Right again." She smirked her eyes never leaving mine. "Lydia, you might have heard of me." She added knowing full well would recognise her name. I scoffed nodding my head a little.

"Oh so your the bitch who broke up my marriage?" I asked growling as I blinked and all the rage I felt snapped in side of me. I had changed and boy was I glad about that. I noticed the brief moment of surprise as Lydia noticed my eyes change.

"What can I say, I gave him _everything_ you couldn't." Lydia smirked as I lowered my head and let out a deep animalistic growl. I hated this bitch with everything I had.

"This isn't going to last long. But it is going to hurt." I growled as we started to circle each other. Lydia grabbed a bronze blade from behind her back and readied herself.

"You know, I can still taste Dean on my lips." Lydia teased as I just saw red. I charged at her, the anger boiling over me. I speared her, pushing her whole body to the floor with an all might thud. I felt the air knock out of her lungs as I growled at her again. My hands found her throat as I felt something slide into my stomach. I didn't care. I had my hands tightening around her throat as she started to gasp for air. Her hands clawed at mine for a few moments before she gasped again. The need to survive kicked in and Lydia started to lay blow after blow into my ribs. The blows were powerful and I was sure I had a couple of cracked rips but I was seeing red and this bitch needed to die. I grunted as I felt a rib move and pierce something inside me. As I let out a howl I loosened my grip on her throat.

"Bitch!" I cried out as Lydia smirked up at me.

"Did that hurt?" She asked in a raspy voice as I glared at her. My hands wrapped tighter round her neck as I felt her hands pound against my body again. I growled as I broke each bone in her throat one at a time and watched as she was consumed by nothing but fear. Each gasp getting more and more alarmed and desperate. I lowered my face so that I could whisper into her ear.

"He was never yours. Emma, she's going to die in a much more bloody way. And don't worry, I'll make sure she knows the whore of a mother she came from is dead." I whispered with venom into her ear as I pulled back just enough to look into her eyes as her final breath escaped her lips, tears rolled out fear full eyes.

* * *

><p>I sat straddled on top of her for a few more seconds as I made sure she was dead. A gunshot caught my attention as I looked over my shoulder to Sam who was running out of the building.<p>

"Megan! Are you ok?" He asked as I got to my feet and wobbled into his arms.

"Yeah... I killed Lydia." I mumbled as Sam looked down at my chest. My white checked shirt had a large red stain with a bronze sword sticking out.

"She stabbed you!" Sam cried out looking at the sword.

"S'ok, I'm ok..." I slurred a little wrapping my hands round the handle and yanking it out in one go. "Crap! That hurt!" I cried out nearly dropping to my knees. The only reason I didn't fall was Sam's arm around my waist. I dropped the blood soaked blade next to Lydia and pressed on the wound. "It'll heal by the time we reach Dean." I slurred as I looked up at the younger Winchester.

"Come on, just keep the pressure on." Sam sighed as he wrapped his arm around me tighter and lead me to the car.

* * *

><p>I must have passed out in the car because I woke shooting up and gasping for air. It felt like I my ribs were on fire and I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.<p>

"Megan?! Hey, hey you ok?" Sam asked glancing at me as he weaved his way through the traffic.

"I hurt. Alot." I wheezed out as I bashed my head hard against the back of the seat. I looked down at my body and saw the damp red patch on my shirt. I slowly peeled it up and saw the red bloody mess on my stomach.

"You got stabbed pretty bad." Sam informed me, ducking two cars and receiving honks from both drivers. "You passed out as soon as I got you in the car." He added with a frown shot in my direction.

"She stabbed me." I muttered poking the area around the cut. It was healing, knitting back together slowly. "That bitch took my husband away from me and then stabbed me." I huffed wincing as I prodded a tender spot and hissed out.

"Are you going to be ok?" Sam asked running a red light.

"I can manage." I answered lowering my top and taking small sharp breaths in.

"We don't have time for macho crap." Sam grunted keeping his eyes focused on the road.

"I can get through the next fight, I can back you and Dean up." I answered closing my eyes as I felt a rib snap back into place. I bit my lip and screwed my fists up in hopes of making sure Sam didn't notice any of it. As I opened my eyes Sam was too busy throwing the car round a corner to notice. He pulled to a stop outside the motel and glanced at me.

"Good. Let's go." Sam nodded getting out of the car. I huffed and fallowed suit, making sure I had my knife in my boot and my gun down my back.

* * *

><p>Sam and I ran up the stairs, I held my ribs as I fallowed him, the pain a constant reminder that I actually wasn't ready for round two with the Amazons. We reached the floor we were on and I fell behind Sam silently. We both drew our guns as I could hear Emma talking to Dean.<br>"_It's weirdly hard, isn't it? It is for me._" Emma said calmly.

"_Knock it off._" Dean snapped back from further in the room.

"_How could it not be? You're my father._" Emma replied making my blood boil.

"_Hey! We're not gonna do that._" Dean cried out.

"_But it's true._" Emma answered as I shook my head.

"What? Are they both in there?" Sam whispered as he glanced at me.

"Yeah, she's there alright." I huffed shaking my head again.

"_You're the reason that we're standing here._" Emma cried out as Sam lent closer to the door to hear what was going on. "_I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. So now someone has to kill someone._" Emma added as my heart race a little. Sam turned to me, his hand wrapped around the door handle. I nodded as he opened the door enough for us both to see Dean stood by the fridge with his gun pointed at Emma, it looked like Emma had something in her hand too. "You know what? So far, my childhood's been kind of disappointing." She scoffed at him.

"You haven't killed anybody yet, Emma. Walk away." Dean said plainly "Right now. I won't go after you." He added making Sam's eyes widen. I knew Dean wouldn't be able to kill his own daughter- monster or not she was still his deep down.

"I can't. I don't have a choice." Emma answered deadly serious as Sam burst into the room with his gun drawn. I was seconds behind him. As I walked in Emma was facing Sam with the same red glow round her eyes that Lydia had. Her face paled as she looked at Sam.

"You must be my Uncle Sam." She said throwing the whole innocent kid bit to Sam. "I never thought I'd get to actually meet you." She added standing so that she was facing both Winchesters. I noticed both of them waver, both Winchesters lowered their guns just a little but enough for Emma to think she had got them wrapped around her finger.

"Why? Did you think Detective Penn and your mum were going to kill us?" I growled keeping my aim true. She flashed her red eyes at me, making Sam raise his gun back up.

"Please don't let her hurt me. She doesn't understand." Emma begged Dean giving him the most vulnerable look she could muster. She turned back to face me and Sam, throwing the same look Sam's way when I pulled the trigger. One shot clean to the heart. Emma gasped in shock as she dropped the blade and fell to the floor dead. Dean nodded to the pair of us and looked away. I let out a sharp cry of pain as I dropped to my knees clutching my chest.

"Megan?" Both Winchesters called out at the same time. Sam was first to reach me as Dean dropped to his knees in front of me, hesitating about touching me.

"Lydia stabbed her." Sam informed Dean as his eyes went wide.

"I... I'm k... I'm ok." I wheezed out trying to keep from screaming out again.

"She stabbed you?!" Dean cried out, his hands moving my shirt up before I could argue.

"I broke her neck." I shrugged as he frowned at my stomach.

"There's no fresh blood." Dean hummed as Sam wrapped his arms around me, helping me to sit on the edge of the bed.

"She broke my ribs too." I wheezed out. "They're healing. I just... I can't..." I shook my head and screwed my face up.

"Are you going to be ok alone, if we go after the rest?" Sam asked rubbing small circles on my back.

"Go. Get them all." I hissed out waving a hand away from me.

* * *

><p>I don't know how long the guys were gone but it was long enough for me to heal. I made my way to my room and started to pack everything up. I put away all my clothes and weapons, I had pack up my laptop and was just about to put the last couple of note books away when I photo fell to the floor. I bent down to pick it up and saw it was a photo of our wedding day. I paused as I looked at the happy smiling faces in that photo.<p>

"Back then we thought nothing could tear us apart." Dean's voice came from behind me but I didn't move. The tears fell down my cheeks. "I never thought I'd be the one to break us up." He added bitterly. I brushed the tears away and turned to face him.

"Why?" I asked just above a whisper. "Why wasn't I good enough anymore?" I asked honestly, the water filling my eyes again.

"It's always been you." Dean said as a tear rolled down his cheek. "The first day I met you, I knew I'd be fighting to keep you in my life." He added walking over and sitting on one of the chairs. "Been fighting for years now." He added softly.

"I always thought it would be you and me." I admitted, looking over to him.

"I thought it would be too." Dean hummed, wiping the tear off his face. "But I fucked up. Man did I fuck up? I just couldn't keep it in my pants. I wish I could blame it on us. I wish I could say I couldn't keep fighting for us anymore. I wish I could say you didn't love me anymore. I wish I could say I didn't love you anymore..." Dean scrubbed his face as he got up and walked over to me.

"Why did you go that night?" I asked as he stopped, towering over me. His green eyes locked on mine as the hurt and guilt swirled in those perfect orbs. "Was I not enough? Am I wrong? Did I come back wrong?" I begged for an answer as the tears formed in my eyes. I pushed the lump out for my throat and shook my head. "I need to know Dean." I forced the words out strong but I was crumbling inside.

"I..." He gave me the saddest of smiles as he brushed some loose hair off my face. His hand rest on my cheek as he lent forward and kissed my forehead so damn softly it broke me in two. He took a step back and sighed. "I was mad. Mad that we kept fighting. I... I wasn't really thinking. She was there, arms open. No complications. It was simple."

"We were never going to be simple." I pointed out as I held out the photo to Dean.

"I know." He sighed, taking it from me. "It was just sex." He muttered looking at the photo sadly.

"I know." I nodded as I brushed the tears from my eyes.

"I love you." Dean blurted softly as I looked up at him in shock. "I'm a stupid bastard, I know I've hurt you badly. But I still love you Megan. Always have, always will."

"I love you too Dean." I said slipping off my wedding ring and passing it to him. "But love is just not enough for us anymore." I added as a sob escaped my lips.

"So that's it, for good?" He asked closing his hand around the ring.

"What do you want from me Dean?" I asked looking up at him and seeing the hurt. "I gave you everything I had! I love you more than life! I don't know what more I can give to make this work?!" I snapped shaking my head at him.

"I didn't mean-" Dean started to back track when I held my hand up for him to stop.

"This isn't working. It hasn't been since I came back. We both know it deep down. Lydia was just the wake up call we needed. I'm sorry Dean. Sorry I've put months of this crap on your shoulders." I said walking over and grabbing my bags.

"You're gonna just walk out on me." Dean snapped as I grabbed the last bag. "I'm sorry Megan! I am so damn sorry! It's killing me, eating at me and I don't know how to fix it! God! I love you so much! This is killing me!" He snapped as I looked up at him.

"We can't fix it Dean. Sorry just wont make things right this time." I said nodding at him as I walked to be shoulder to shoulder with him. "Be safe. Be smart and don't let the Leviathans catch you." I walked out the room, leaving behind the one man I loved. The one person who made me feel safe. The one person I would still give my life for. But he fucked up and I couldn't handle being around him. I had to leave. I had to hope that things would get better. That I could be as strong away from him as he made me feel when we were together.

One thing I knew for sure. I needed to kill some fucking monsters.


	20. Love Bites, But So Do I

Hey everyone, here is my next chapter I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

><p>I had been driving solid for a day and I needed to stretch my legs, it was the dead of night as I pulled over at the side of an empty backwater road. I grunted as I slammed the car door shut loudly. I ran a hand through my hair as I stalked round to the boot and slammed my hand hard down. <em>Have all the monster been told to actively avoid me? Where are the vampire nests? The ghouls? The ghosts? Djinns? Demons? Hoodoo? Black magic? Hell even a simple case of the zombies would do. I just need something to kill! Something, anything to vent this rage on!<em>

"Just my freaking luck." I muttered bowing my head as my hair fell round my face. I had quickly fallen into good old O'Connor traditions of bury the damn feelings and beat the crap out of something. Only that was the rub- three weeks of searching for a hunt, a case, hell any monster I could rip apart with my bare hands and I got... nothing. Not even a hint of something. I swear the universe was doing this to me on purpose! I couldn't even find a Leviathan to tackle, that's how desperate I was getting.

"Bit dangerous to go it alone right now Love." The unmistakable British accent of Crowley echoed in the silence. A smirk crossed my lips, hidden by the hair around my face. _Ok, so I might not get to beat down and kill something tonight, but I can settle for punching Crowley around._ I pushed the hair off face and tilted my head in the direction of the King of Hell as he just loved to call himself. The smile slipped from my face as I settle on a stone cold stare.

"Didn't think you cared." I hissed sarcastically, tossing the hair over my shoulder and turning so I was leaning on the boot. My wolf side stirred at the thought of venting, she was just inching to get out and I was right there with her. I had been struggling to keep her at bay. It was taking everything I had to keep my temper under control. I wanted to lash out at everything. I watched as Crowley simply raised an eyebrow as I folded my arms over my chest.

"Ouch." Crowley faked being hurt as a smirk crossed his lips.

"Oh I could hurt you a hell of a lot more." I insisted, throwing Crowley an evil smirk. "And believe me, I would just _love_ to rip you apart right now." I added keeping up my stone cold stare. Crowley nodded approvingly before looking around the empty road. He let out a small huh, before turning to face me again.

"Do Moose and Squirrel know you're out here alone?" Crowley asked simply, but I could see in his eyes he knew the answer. I tensed, damn it I didn't want to, but as soon as he mentioned the pair I tensed. Three weeks and I hadn't talked to either of them. Sam had called and I text or emailed him, just to keep him off my back. Dean had called, I had ignored all those calls. The pain wasn't fading and no matter how far away I got from him, Dean was still playing on my mind._ Get it together O'Connor, you don't want Crowley playing you out here alone._ I glanced at my arms before meeting his gaze again. "Oh, trouble in paradise I take it." He hummed as he walked over to me, that smug grin on his lips.

"Bite me Crowley." I snapped pushing myself off the boot as I started to walk past him. As I got level, Crowley grabbed my arm stopping me dead in my tracks. I looked at his grip on my arm and raised as eyebrow as I met his gaze. I balled my free hand into a fist and was just about to swing for him when Crowley opened his mouth.

"You know, for one of those goody goodies, I've always had a bit of a soft spot for you Megan," Crowley spoke carefully, his grip on my arm firm. I glared into his eyes hard. "There's always been so much... _potential_ in you." He grinned as his eyes took in all the features of my face. That look made my skin crawl. I yanked my arm out of his grasp and swung out connecting with a solid crunch to his jaw making Crowley stumble backwards.

"Like I said, bite me." I growled shaking my head as I walked over to the drivers side. Crowley laughed as he held his face, licking his bust lip as he looked up again.

"Love to, but first maybe I could point you in the direction of a little hunt?" Crowley smirked, as I paused. _Do I trust him? Of course not! But if he's offering me something I could beat down on..._ I knew it was a dumb move but I turned and looked at him over my shoulder.

"A hunt?" I scoffed out, not believing it was anything that simple. I turned and waited for him to give me more details.

"Yeah, I mean that's what you're looking for right? Something to beat the crap out of until it stops hurting." Crowley shrugged plainly, tucking his hands into his pockets. There was a look in his eyes. He'd seen me tense, he knew more than he was saying. He always knew more than he said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I scoffed shaking my head and faking ignorance as I folded my arms over my chest.

"Oh, so you're not in pain right now?" Crowley pondered aloud as he walked over to me, his eyes locking on mine as I gulped hard. "I've seen that look a million times before." He commented pointing to my face. I tensed again as I felt a dart of pain hit my heart. I pulled on the cold stone killer stare that had kept me alive in more fights than I cared to admit.

"I don't know-" I started to lie when he cut me off.

"Squirrel's done something, pretty bad. I can see he's hurt you. It's written all over your face, he's ripped your bloody heart out and walked all over it!" Crowley waved a finger at me as I just scoffed acting like I had no idea what he was talking about. "What did he do? Finally admit he was in love with the baby in a trench coat? Hmm no. Refuse to give up his subscription to Busty Asian Beauties? No not that either. Maybe he told you he couldn't take being married to a monster anymore? Huh no reaction." Crowley folded his arms over his chest as he studied me. "No he's done something much worse." Crowley nodded as he formulated something. I felt like I was cracking under his gaze and it was taking everything I had to hold the façade together.

"Just tell me about this hunt." I grunted looking away from him as I wanted to rip his head off. My hands held onto my arms so tightly that I was sure I was going to give myself bruises, but it stopped me from lashing out.

"Who was she?" Crowley asked as I snapped my head back to him. A wide grin crossing his lips as he clicked his fingers together. "That functioning moron! He cheated on you! That man has bigger balls than-"

"You don't know anything, just shut up!" I growled at Crowley looking away from him. That rage was right back in the forefront. I felt my wolf stir and I wanted nothing more than punch the crap out of Crowley.

"But I do." Crowley smirked as he walked up to me, just keeping out of my personal bubble. "I've seen the look of broken heart before Sweetheart, and you, you're one of the worst." Crowley whispered looking into my eyes as I felt the pain rip into my heart all over again. I couldn't look away from him, the pain was so real. I couldn't hide it from him, Crowley just knew. I felt the tears threaten to fall from my eyes as I pushed away the lump in throat.

"Is this where you offer me a deal?" I scoffed as I tried to push the emotion from my voice. "My soul for revenge on Dean?" I questioned barely above a whisper as I shook my head softly. I blinked back the tears as I tried to find my strength again.

"I do like to make a deal..." Crowley shrugged backing up slightly. "But I know you're not stupid enough to give me your soul for a Winchester- again."

"Look, what do you want from me Crowley?" I asked softly brushing the hair out of my face as I felt way too exposed in front of him. He knew the truth, and boy did Crowley like to twist things like this to his advantage.

"I want to help you feel better." Crowley offered, using all the charm that got him all to the position of King of Hell.

"You'll have to excuse me if I don't believe you off the bat." I quipped getting the attitude back in my voice. Crowley held his hands up in defeat as I just stood there waiting for him to crack.

"Ok, so _maybe_ I want you to kill someone for me too. Send a message to some of the crossroad minions who think all hunters are focused on the little Leviathan issue." He shrugged breaking like I knew he would.

"You want me to do you're dirty work? What the King to high up to get his hands dirty now?" I asked cocking my head to one side, slightly amused as Crowley shrugged a little.

"I try to keep my hands in many pots. I'm a little busy right now." Crowley offered that as his only explanation, but I wasn't stupid I knew that there was more behind it.

"Why am I taking care of your business?" I asked again, pushing the issue. I knew Crowley wouldn't just do this without having a game plan behind it. Crowley closed the gap between us in a blink and I had my hand resting on my family knife in the next heartbeat.

"You want to kill something. I want it dead." He whispered into my ear before pausing a beat. "Plus I hate seeing you so heart broken over some idiot Winchester." He added with a soft kiss to my cheek before disappearing on me. I let out the breath I was holding and slipped my knife back into place.

"Son of a bitch." I sighed out shaking my head as I climbed into my car, slamming the door shut and resting my head on the steering wheel. _This is stupid idea! This is a bad idea! This is up there with the great mistakes! But... it's a hunt, I get to kill something. I get to save people! I get some way to vent this rage. I just gotta go in with eyes open. Keep my wits about me and that way Crowley can't pull the rug from under me, right? Yeah right!_ I felt a breeze next to me and sat up. Magically a map appeared in my passenger seat with a big fat cross on it, along with a little note from Crowley. I picked up the note and read it aloud. "The maps so you don't get lost. She isn't Squirrel, but take out everything you want on her. Love and kisses Crowley." I chuckled sarcastically at the note, screwing it up into a ball before throwing it onto the seat next to the map. _Yeah he's gonna screw me over some way. I just know it. _I revved the engine and set off.

* * *

><p>I must have been driving for the best part of two days to reach Eden, NC. I wasn't sure what hunt Crowley was walking me into, I knew enough to keep my wits about me. If Crowley had put me on the hunt I knew it wouldn't be as simple as he was making it sound. My phone began to ring, playing Be Yourself by Audioslave. I pulled it out my pocket, knowing that it was Sam by the ringtone. I huffed, my finger hovering over the answer button as I pulled over to the side of the road. <em>He keeps wanting to check up on me, thinking that talking to him would make it better? He keeps trying to explain why Dean cheated. He keeps trying to convince me to come back. He doesn't realise how badly it hurts. I can't keep talking to him about it! He's a Winchester, I just... I need a clean break.<em> I bit my bottom lip as I cancelled the call. I felt bad for ignoring his call, but I honestly thought I needed to do things on my own. I needed the break, a clean break and then maybe, maybe I could loose some of this heartbreaking pain that was ripping apart my chest.

"Ouch! Even Moose is on the no flight list now huh?" Crowley asked appearing in the seat next to me. I threw the phone back into my pocket and grunted at his smug smile.

"You know, if you're going to be co-pilot with me on this I'm going to draw a devils trap on the roof!" I snapped pointing to the roof for good measure. "And I will do it! No matter how much I love this damn car!"

"Oh come on, I thought we had gotten past the old threatening each other stage? I got you a hunt, didn't I?" Crowley pouted as I shook my head and pulled back onto the road.

"You got me _something_ it remains to see if it's a hunt." I huffed shaking my head as my phone buzzed to say I had a voicemail. I gripped the wheel tighter just dreading what Sam had put into this voicemail.

"Ohh I must say Megan, that rage is kinda sexy." Crowley teased as I glared at him, slamming the breaks on hard, making him almost hit his face on the dash. He grunted sitting up and straightening up his shirt. "That was bracing." He muttered sarcastically he looked over to me.

"You need something?" I snapped waiting for the King of Hell explain himself. My fingers drumming on the wheel as I waited impatiently.

"I just thought someone should keep an eye on you. I mean after a bad breakup you could use a friend." Crowley shrugged innocently. I gripped the wheel so tight that I thought I was about to break it. I saw Crowley dart his eyes to my hands so I loosened my grip.

"Friend? We," I waved a finger between the pair of us. "We_ are not_ friends. There isn't a universe where we are friends. You want the Leviathans dead, I kill them. You are only on my side until they've gone. Don't think I don't know exactly what _we_ _are."_ I explained plainly as I looked dead into Crowley's eyes.

"You know, you sure know how to hurt some ones feelings." Crowley pouted, faking the hurt before grinning widely. "I like it, keep it up!" He laughed before vanishing again.

"I swear Crowley! Devils trap! Right here!" I screamed out pointing to the roof of my car with a huff as the phone started to buzz in my pocket. Audioslave started to play through my pocket and I let out a heavy sigh. "I so don't need this right now." I huffed as I revved the engine and raced into Eden in search of a place to crash so I could look into this crossroads demon Crowley wanted dead so badly.

* * *

><p>I sat in the crappy motel, my laptop out researching as much as I could. It didn't take a great deal of hacking to find the local reports of deaths had risen in the last ten years. On average Eden had nearly a twenty-five percent rise on <em>natural<em> deaths in the last ten years. Even though the spike was high, clearly someone had worked hard to make sure no one noticed. Looking into a couple of the deaths it was crystal clear to a hunter that the deaths were linked to a crossroads demons. Some shmuck down on their luck suddenly gets everything they've always wanted and then BAM a few years down the road- dead. Only unlike the usual, _unusual animal attacks_, these deaths would look for the most part natural. This demon was clever at covering its tracks. There was a kicker though, the demon was cashing in on five year contracts, not the usual ten years.

"Huh, so that's why he's not happy. The demons cashing in earlier than he likes." I hummed out loud as I made the connection. I tapped my pencil against the table in a steady beat as I continued reading.

"I did tell you I wanted the moron dead for a reason." Crowley commented appearing in the chair next to me. I dropped the pencil and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I let out a small sigh. I did not like having him as a co-pilot in all of this. Especially when he let himself in whenever he wanted.

"You gonna be like this the whole hunt?" I pondered as I turned to him with an annoyed look. I flexed my hand back and forth into a fist as I tried to control my anger.

"What do you mean?" Crowley asked innocently, but the glint in his eye was anything but innocent.

"This!" I cried out pointing to the fact he was sat next to me in the motel room. "I mean popping in anytime you want to. I know how to do a hunt and I don't need you over my shoulder every five minutes." I protested folding my arms over my chest as I just glared at him.

"Megan." Crowley hummed out in a low tone. "I just don't think you should be alone right now. People do very stupid things when they come out a nasty break up. I see it everyday. I'm just looking out for you." He was faking that caring tone again. I knew he was lying, it was Crowley he had to be. I rolled my eyes as I was getting really riled up by his act.

"Bite me!" I scoffed pushing my laptop away. "Just... just stuff it where the sun doesn't shine, ok?! We _aren't_ friends! I don't need your shoulder to cry on! I don't need to have some deep and meaningful about how hurt I am! I don't need a chick flick and tub of Ben and Jerry's! What I need is to work this case, kill something that deserves it and work on finding a way to bring down Dick Roman! That's it! Understand?!" I ranted as I pushed the hair out of my face. Crowley sat there studying me for a few minutes before nodding and giving me a small smile.

"Always loved that attitude." He purred as he watched me glare at him. "Ok, fine! I see you've discovered the little bastard that's messing up my operation." Crowley huffed throwing a hand out to the research I had spread out across the table.

"Yeah, I know a crossroads is here. I still don't get why you need me to do it for you though. What about Guy? Wasn't he enough of a warning?" I asked looking over as Crowley clicked his fingers producing two glasses of what I assumed was Scotch.

"He worked. But this git has being trying to make a name for herself." Crowley muttered bitterly as he took a sip from his glass.

"Threat to the thrown?" I teased picking up the glass in front of me and sniffing it. It sure smelt like Scotch but that didn't mean that there wasn't something more in it. I held it in my hands as my eyes darted back to Crowley.

"Please." Crowley scoffed. "No, but I don't like the way business is happening down here." Crowley nodded to the glass. "Just Scotch, honest." I looked at the glass again and brought it up to my lips before pausing.

"Then why not do another _Guy_ and show the underworld you don't play around?" I asked confused lowering the glass from my lips again.

"The ranks are getting restless. This Leviathan business is giving them _ideas._ No one hunts demons at the moment. We're just not in vogue." Crowley answered sarcastically with a small shrug as he read the screen on my laptop. I paused as I watched Crowley closely, if I didn't know better I would have said his nose was a little out of joint not being the monster of the month. I hid the small smirk that wanted to break out on my face with my glass.

"They think now is a good idea to attack since all the hunters are more concerned with Leviathans?" I stated more than asked already knowing the answer as I took a sip of the Scotch. It was a welcome heat that raced down into my stomach, settling there with a familiar feeling of comfort.

"Yeah the idiots don't see the big picture." Crowley grumbled as he took another sip of his drink.

"So a hunter takes out this demon who's running it's mouth... two birds, one stone for you. The demons know that hunters are still going to take them down and you get rid of this crossroads who is messing up the big picture, huh?" I mused before taking another sip of the drink. If this was Crowley's plan all along, it made sense. Though I was surprised he was letting me in on it. Crowley liked to play his cards close to his chest.

"Like you said, we're on the same side until the Leviathans are gone." Crowley shrugged looking back at me. "How's that going by the way?" He asked sarcastically, arching an eyebrow as I put my glass on the table, pulling my laptop closer to me.

"One problem at a time huh?" I deflected, typing away. I focused on the screen and wasn't sure if Crowley had left or not. Honestly I hadn't got far with the Leviathan issue, we knew who the boss was, but after we lost Bobby. It was hard to really get a grasp on what would actually kill them. Frank was working his angle but he wasn't reliable at all. All in all the hunt for Leviathans seemed to have stalled. I was hoping that working separately I could focus on it and find something useful. It was crushing me that maybe Bobby had died for nothing.

"You can find the goon messing it all up in a place called Apple Crossroads, some bar in town." Crowley spoke waving a hand in the air as I looked over to him. If I didn't know better I could have sworn that Crowley knew how bad I was feeling over Bobby's death. I paused for a moment knowing the kind of relationship he and Bobby had shared, I wondered if Crowley missed him at all. But then this was Crowley he was probably working some angle I just hadn't figured out yet.

"Thanks." I said honestly with a small nod. He was actually being useful for once and I had to give him credit for it. Crowley looked slightly surprised and then brushed it off looking at me with a smirk.

"Well don't get used to me being too nice to you." Crowley clicked his fingers and disappeared on me again. I sat busy reading through some of the more recent deaths when Back in Black started to play from my phone. My heart jumped into my throat as I saw it was Dean ringing. I just froze and looked down at the boz eyed face Dean was pulling. The phone buzzed along the table closer to my hand with each ring. Dean's face lit up and clear to see. It had been a couple of days since he had last tried to call me and in all honesty I had hoped he had given up on it all. I just looked terrified at the small machine as the song continued and the phone nearly reached my hand. I snatched my hand back as if the phone was toxic. I watched it crash into my laptop and buzz a couple more times before stopping dead. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and ran a hand through my hair. I noticed the glass of Scotch Crowley had brought for me, still sat that. I grabbed it, downing it all in one go. I let the burning sensation take over the chills the phone had caused me.

* * *

><p>That night I decided to check out <em>Apple<em> _Crossroad_. I was still concerned that there was an angle Crowley was playing that I just wasn't seeing, but I had to admit, I couldn't wait to kill something. I changed into jeans and a plain grey t-shirt, I left my hair down and made sure I wore perfume to mask my wolf scent. I didn't want to spook the crossroads demon before I had formed a plan. I made sure my knife was tucked into boot and I slipped my jacket over the top. I walked to the bar and rolled my eyes as I walked in letting out a loud groan.

"Sure Crowley... a bar or _something._" I huffed as I took in the place. Sure there was a bar, but most of the place was full of strippers. Women in as little clothing as possible throwing and thrusting themselves over men who in all fairness should have probably been back at home with their wives. I could see why a crossroads demon would want to work there. There was a certain type of person who visited a strip bar. _You're ex for example... _I shook away that thought. The demon would be able to make plenty of deals, the place was located on a crossroads for crying out loud! As I stood there I was hit with a smell. It was more than a human scent, it was closer to the scent Luke, the Alpha Werewolf, had when I first met him. It was alluring and sexy, it took over my senses and seemed to cloud my mind for a moment. I shook my head trying to clear the haze this _smell_ was bringing on. It lingered in my mind as my eyes darted around the room for anything that could be the source. As I looked around the bar the scent faded along with it's comforting feeling. I couldn't see any course, or track the scent. It just seemed to vanished as soon as it started. I let out a heavy sigh and thought about turning around and coming back under the old FBI gig when a blonde woman walked over to me. She was wearing short denim shorts and a crop top just covering her bust with the bar logo on it. She was taller than me thanks to the white stiletto heals she was wearing.

"Hey, are you here about the sign in the window?" She asked beaming at me, while examining me, her eyes skirting up and down my body. I felt like a piece of meat as her eyes raked over my body. I repressed the urge to cover my body with my arms and instead decided to act innocent.

"Huh?" I asked pretending not to fully hear her over the blearing music. She took my arm led me closer to the bar where it was quieter.

"I'm Destiny, the Manager. I said are you here about the sign in the window? You know, the bar work?" She asked innocently giving me a smirk. I guess they didn't usually get women just walking into the bar just to grab a drink- go figure.

"Um, yeah... yeah I am." I nodded glancing around and getting a quick lay of the land. The place was busy, I clocked five dancers at least, Destiny and someone behind the bar. It was a Saturday night so I guess this was peak. _So many idiots to make deals with... this is easy picking for a demon._

"Ok, so do you have any experience?" She asked cocking her head to one side. She flashed me a smile with bright white teeth and Barbie pink lipstick.

"Just at university." I nodded plainly, I wasn't going to tell her I had worked in a few bars while floating cross country hunting evil. Destiny turned to a red head behind the bar and jerked her head towards me. The red head trotted over, clearly she was in heels too. The red head was much taller than me with cool green eyes, and bright red lips to match her hair. She was wearing the same, um, _uniform_, as Destiny.

"What do you think Candy?" Destiny shouted over the noise of the music. Candy, the red head, darted a cool look over me as I just stood there, feeling way too judged by a bunch of strippers. _I do not get paid enough for these type of situations..._

"She doesn't look like she could handle the guys." Candy scoffed as a smirk broke out across my face. Candy scowled at me before trotting off to server a beer to some guy who had floated up to the bar.

"Something funny?" Destiny asked smirking at my confident smile. I cocked an eyebrow and nodded.

"They always say that until they're laid out." I commented, giving Candy a fleeting glance. Candy heard me, and gave me another small scowl. Destiny chuckled at my answer, clearly liking my attitude.

"I'll give you a weeks trial. Cash in hand. You start," She glanced at her watch. "Now." Destiny added pointing to a back room. "Uniform." She barked.

* * *

><p>I was forced to change into the stupid short shorts, and the crop top. I was only working in the bar but I felt way too exposed to do anything useful. I tied my hair up into a high ponytail, making sure I applied a little extra make-up so I would fit in. I made my eyes smoky and applied a little deep red lipstick. I knew how to work the way my body looked and it was something to be thankful for in that moment. My wolf genes had made me a stunner in my own right. It was probably the only thing that got me the job. The lack of clothing showed off my anti-possession tattoo on my right shoulder blade with the scar cutting through it. It was the one that Eve had ripped open when she took over me. I sighed looking at my shoulder in the mirror. I was worried if the crossroads demon saw it they might have thought I was a hunter. But I guess with it ripped open it showed I had been possessed at some point. I walked out of the back, my boots still on but my knife tucked in my clothes in a locker. I had my phone in my pocket and a small switch knife in the other pocket but it wasn't going to be enough to defend myself from any real threat. As I walked onto the floor I tried to find the source of the scent that had so violently thrown me off my game. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find the source and that alone tingled my spidey senses.<p>

On the walk over to the bar I noticed a couple of the _dancers_ sobbing a little. One was dressed as a school girl, her fake blonde hair in high pig tails, fake freckles drawn on. The other was a naughty nurse in a uniform I was pretty sure made for children. Her blonde hair looked real, and was carefully held in place by a small fake nurses hat with small bobby pins with red crosses on them.

"You ok?" I asked softly, passing the school girl a napkin. She took it and wept a little more as I watched the pair. The _nurse_ was pouting with a sad expression as she brushed some hair out of the_ school girls_ face.

"Yeah, yeah totally, sorry." She sobbed as the _nurse_ wrapped her arm around her friends shoulders protectively.

"She's just, like taking it hard, you know?" The _nurse_ explained, with a squeeze to her friends arm. The pair shared a sad smile before turning back to me.

"Sorry?" I asked confused as I watched the pair realise I was new.

"Oh sorry, I totally didn't realise Destiny had filled the bar role already. You must be like totally new." _School_ _girl_ nodded, clearing her throat as she wiped the tears away, artfully making sure not to mess her make-up.

"I'm like Misty and this is like Lexi my total BBF here." Misty, the _nurse_, introduced the pair. "We're just like so shaken up because some of our favourite regulars have just like passed away." She added crossing herself.

"I'm Megan, um, I'm sorry to hear that." I replied as Lexi pointed to the wall behind them. Apparently it was a wall of fame for the regulars. I took a quick glance and recognised a few of the faces from the reports I had been reading all day. I was definitely in the right place. Lexi pointed to a photo of three guys, a tall skinny guy with greying hair, a chubby bold guy with blue eyes and an average looking guy with short black hair.

"Jack Lemming, Scott Exeter and Joel Oscar." Lexi pointed to each man in turn. "Jack died a month ago and we've just heard from Officer Jackson that Scott totally died yesterday." She sobbed a little.

"I guess you liked them, huh?" I asked with a sad smile trying to be as understanding as I could. But honestly the _likes, totally_ and their actual tone of voice was grating on me.

"Oh we used to call them ELO, the guys like, they were totally regulars for years. Even when their business suddenly took off they would still come down and make sure like we knew they hadn't forgotten us." Misty beamed as she turned and looked sadly at the photo sniffling. "They were like great guys, I can't imagine how Joel is taking it." She added turning back to me with fresh tears in her eyes.

"Totally!" Lexi added sadly.

"Their business suddenly took off?" I asked realising that it sounded like deal. If it was, then Joel Oscar could be my best bet at finding who was making the deals.

"Yeah, yeah like they run the local plastic manufacturing down on central. The guys were near like total bankrupt when one day it all just took off." Misty explained with a shrug as Destiny walked over to us.

"Ladies, I'm paying you to work the room, not each other." Destiny hummed as she reached us. She gave the girls a warning look, I got the vibe that the girls were usually getting into trouble for chatting by the way they ducked their heads down.

"Sorry Destiny, it's my fault. I was just trying to get to know some of the staff." I lied as the two blondes just nodded in total agreement. Destiny shrugged her shoulders as if she understood.

"Fine, but girls your up after Isabella, go get ready." Destiny nodded her head to the stage where a tanned brunette was in the process of removing what I thought looked like a snake skin jump suit, upside down on a pole in the middle of the room. All the men seemed to flock around and watched her. Hell I was even a little impressed with her flexibility.

"Like nice meeting you Meg." Misty smirked as she led Lexi away by the shoulders.

"They're nice girls, just not much upstairs, you know what I mean?" Destiny blurted out as she led me to the bar. I let out a small chuckle.

"Yeah." I nodded making my way to the bar.

"So Candy's shift is about to end, you're on till close. Just do your best. You get stuck, holla, I'm always around." Destiny was looking past me, I glanced over my shoulder as a man in sharp suit walked into a booth. "If you'll excuse me." Destiny purred pulling her crop top down a little more than it needed to be and swung her hips as she made her way over to the booth.

* * *

><p>I had an awkward orientation by Candy, who seemed to hate me from the get go. Other than that the night went smoothly. I kept an eye on all the dancers, Lexi, Misty, Destiny and Isabella seemed to be the popular girls. I didn't get a chance to talk to any of them apart from passing on the drinks people had ordered. I never caught the scent again and began to wonder if it was just my wolf powers going out of whack because of not being around the one calming influence I had. <em>I need to find a new way to cope without him in my life. I did it before, I can do it again. I can control this without his help. I can do this. I can... <em>I pulled my hair down and ran a hand through it all as I moved the last of the bottles back into their right places. I just wanted a shower, a quick nap and start working on the Joel Oscar angle. I really wanted to rip this demon apart with my bare hands.

"You look better with your hair down." A female voice purred as I spun round and saw Isabella leaning on the bar, her arms tucked under her bust showing it off perfectly. Her tanned skin seemed darker in the dim lights by the bar, but her sharp grey eyes seem to take in everything around her.

"It might, but if I have to throw someone out, it's better tied up." I answered as I walked over to her wiping down the bar.

"Shame, I think it looks hot." She winked pushing away from the bar and stretched a little. "You here to dance or just bar work?" She asked watching me as I turned around to put the bar rag away.

"Just bar work, need a little extra money." I lied wringing out the cloth.

"Dancing will get you more." She sang over the silence of the empty bar.

"Hey like, is that a tattoo?" Misty asked as I glanced over my shoulder. Her and Isabella were inspecting the anti-possession tattoo on my shoulder. Both were looking at it utterly confused, it seemed like neither of them knew what it was.

"Um, yeah... a mistake." I muttered as I watched them both closely. Misty bit her lip, something flashing through her eyes before she spoke again.

"How did it like, scar like that?" Misty asked tilting her head from one side to another and back again, utterly confused.

"Someone cut it." I admitted turning fully around so the girls couldn't see it anymore.

"An attack?" Misty asked utterly tactlessly as her eyes glinted with interest. Isabella frowned at Misty shaking her head a little.

"You could say that, it was a fight. I lost." I admitted as Misty lent back on her heels for a moment taking it all in. She was processing something behind the dumb act. I glanced down at the floor and released a little of the wolf power to see if I could sense if one of them were demons. I had to keep looking to the floor because my control was all over the place and I had no way to keep my eyes from changing. I could hear so much, smell so damn much but I couldn't sense the demon, or the mysterious scent from before. _Ok, rain in back in, come on Megan, bring the wolf back under control._ It was difficult to pull my wolf side back inside, she was just itching to be free and fight. After struggling for a few moments I finally felt like I had it back under control, I let out a small sigh and looked back up at the girls. They both threw me sympathetic smiles.

"Misty, you sure know how to make the newbies uncomfortable." Destiny chimed in as she walked over to the bar, clearly she had been listening to the conversation.

"Oh, like I am so sorry. I totally didn't mean, to like, hurt your feelings." Misty apologised as I just gave a polite smile.

"Well, if that's all I'd love to get changed and sleep." I muttered glancing over to Destiny who nodded so I could leave.

* * *

><p>I got the worlds fastest shower, and crashed on the bed face first. I wasn't sure I wanted to sleep but I knew my body needed at least a few hours rest. I closed my eyes as I swear that scent filled my brain again.<p>

_The darkness was all around me. The scratching, the snarling, the goo. They were just waiting for me. They were always just there waiting for me. This time felt different. My head was fuzzy. It almost felt like it used to around Dean. But this was different. I felt sexy, sensual and strong. It clouded the fear that the Leviathans were trying to bring me. I stood perfectly still surrounded by this invisible barrier of strength._

"_I'm sick of this! You want a piece of me? Come get it!" I screamed at the top of my voice as I threw my arms out wide. My heart raced in my chest as I stood there, waiting for the darkness to consume me once again and rip the flesh from my bones, time and time again. "I said come on!" I yelled out when a glow surrounded me. A warm, safe, glow wrapped its way around me, the glow getting brighter and brighter as it covered my vision. I had to close my eyes against the bright white light as took over all my senses._

I blinked as I woke for the first time alone, not ready to rip everything apart with my bare hands. My head was still fuzzy, that scent I just couldn't place clouding any clear thoughts I could muster. I knew I should be worried, alert to some unseen danger, but I just... I didn't care, everything was amazing and good in the world as far as I cared. Audioslave started to play as my phone buzzed on the bed side table. In my fuzz filled brain I just picked it up.

"Hey Sam." I yawned as I rolled onto my back with a feeling close to waking up after great sex.

"_Megan? You um, you actually answered! I didn't think.. I mean I um I-_" Sam was stumbling over his words and I thought about how cute he looked when he was flustered.

"Sam?" I sang in a soft purr.

"_Yeah?"_ He asked softly, letting out a soft gulp.

"You called." I chuckled, a genuine throaty chuckle as I let my eyes drift shut.

"_Are, are you ok? You, um, you sound... different._" Sam asked sounding worried as I just laid with this bliss feeling running through my body. I was happy and content as I laid there on the bed.

"Yeah... I just woke up." I purred again, slowly opening my eyes and seeing it was eight in the morning. I had a good fours hours solid sleep. For me, that was all kinds of win.

"_Oh sorry, I just... I was worried when you stopped texting me back, I just wanted to make sure you were ok._" I could hear Sam throwing those puppy dog eyes at me and I smirked again at how cute and innocent the giant could be.

"Oh Sam." I purred out with a soft sigh my mouth working before my brain could catch up. "I am fine. Honestly, I'm working a case right now." I answered as the fuzz and the bliss feeling started to slip. _Did I just... did I just think Sam was cute? What the hell?! Something is not right here..._ My body tensed, and as I tensed the fuzzy feeling left me, the alertness and worry that should have been there since I woke up, kicked in.

"_Ok, but I just want you to know, if you need someone to talk to. You know you can call me, right?_" Sam asked but I wasn't really listening. That scent was all around me. I shot up in bed and darted my eyes around the room. My heart was racing as I realised how dangerous the situation could be. I was alone, a far as I could see I was alone. I blinked, releasing my wolf side and used all my extra senses. Even with the added boost, I couldn't pick up on anything. I was totally alone in the room. _What the hell just happened? Who was in this room and why the hell can't I track them?! _The scent was fading fast, but it was the scent that had clouded my brain in the club. "_Megan? Hey, you still there?_" Sam asked down the phone as I did a quick walk around the room, just to see if I could track the scent.

"Damn it." I huffed realising it had gone, just like in the bar. It was next to impossible to track on that thing. A knot formed in my stomach as I sat back down on the edge of the bed. This hunt was dramatically getting complicated and I got the feeling it was only going to get worse.

"_Megan?!"_ Sam shouted down the phone snapping from the worry, I raised it to my ear and felt all the insecurities rise to the surface from both Winchesters. The hurt and raw pain Dean brought up in me. It was like a hit to my gut as it came flooding back to me.

"Yeah, sorry Sam, I'm here." I answered barley above a whisper, my eyes darting around the room. My instincts were telling me something bad had just happened to me and I needed to wrap this case up quickly. If the demon was just in my room, they could have killed me in my sleep.

"_What's going on? Are you ok? Do you need some help on your case?_" Sam cried out sounding utterly confused and worried. I ran a hand through my hair when I felt a clip in it. I pulled at the clip and saw a small red cross on the bobby clip. It was the same type of clip Misty had in her hair. I closed my hand over the clip realising who my crossroads demon was. She was sending me a warning, she knew I was in town and exactly who I was.

"Yeah, no. Sorry, I'm ok. I just got a break through on my case. I'm ok Sam. I don't need help." I answered shaking my head as my mind started to race with ways to get Misty alone so I could take her out.

"_Are you sure? I could come alone, if your worried about-_" Sam was begging to help me but he was a Winchester, he was Dean's brother. Just knowing that Dean was near him was ripping me apart.

"It's ok Sam!" I snapped knowing how his sentence was about to end. "I got this. Gotta go, bye." I hung up before he could say anything else and looked down at the clip. "Misty, you are like totally my demon, huh?" I mimicked her voice as I looked at the clip in my hand.

* * *

><p>I wasn't stupid, I knew I hadn't felt a single twinge of demon from anyone in the club. That mixed with the scent that clouded my brain so well, I knew something was off. I hit the research hard. This time looking into any monsters that could effect a person the way the mysterious scent had effected me. After a couple of hours of research I found one creature with that kind of power, a Siren. The last and only time I had seen one though I could smell it a mile off. Things were just not adding up. Maybe the demon was working with a Siren at the bar but I still should would have been able to pick them both up. I shook my head as I paced around the room, contemplating calling Sam to get his view on it all. I picked up my phone and started to scroll through the numbers. <em>Maybe John's journal would have something useful, maybe the guys had come across something like this before. I don't need to talk to Dean, just Sam. Just about the case. If I make it clear Sam wont bring him up with me. They just might-<em>

"I wouldn't." Crowley sighed as he appeared in my room.

"We need to talk." I grunted tucking the phone into my back pocket.

"Do we?" He asked cocking his head to one side.

"This crossroad demon, you sure they're at the strip club?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

"One hundred percent." Crowley smirked as he shrugged a little.

"Then why can't I sense them?" I fallowed up, watching him careful. Crowley's smirk grew just a fraction and I knew it was something bad.

"Remember Princess?" Crowley asked as I just nodded. Princess was a demon infesting a body only I couldn't sense it the whole time I was around it. "So maybe this demon here, figured out how to hide too." Rage blinded me as in that moment all I wanted to do was rip him apart with my bare hands.

"WHAT?!" I cried out storming over to him as he vanished. "I can't believe you Crowley! I swear I am going to beat the crap out of you after this!" I screamed as I punched the wall where he was stood. The release of just a fraction of the pain felt good. It felt so damn good that I felt nothing from the cuts that decorated my knuckle. _When I get my hands on that bitch... all this pain it's going to be free. I'm going to get rid of this horrible pain. _I calmed down a little and sat at the table, flicking the hair out of my face as I let out a heavy sigh. I knew know at least why I couldn't sense the demon or the siren. They were masked to me.

* * *

><p>With how utterly complicated things were getting, I knew I had to be prepared. I made sure I carried a bronze sword with me, though I had to get the blood of an infected on it. <em>That's going to be fun<em>. I had no idea who had and who hadn't been affected. No one was acting love crazy and doing stupid things. They were all just deals. I groaned as I felt a headache come on. Crowley sure knew how to make things complicated.

I knew I had to be certain who the Siren and the crossroads demon were. I knew there was only one person alive who for certain had made the deal. I had to go find Joel Oscar before his contract ran out. I changed into a suit and set off. I pulled up outside his house and felt like I was being watched. I carefully got out of the car and glanced around. I couldn't see anyone, but I couldn't shake the feeling. _Act cool, just buy some time._ I walked up to his front door and knocked waiting for an answer. I hummed to myself as I waited. The street was quiet so when I heard something being knocked over in the house I knocked again- louder.

"Mr Oscar?! Open up!" I hit my fist hard against the door when it sounded like there was a fight going on inside. "Forget this." I muttered to myself as I shoulder barged the door open and pulled the gun from my back. I could hear the fighting coming from the bedroom upstairs. My wolf stirred, excited that I was about to get into a fight. It was itching to be free. I raced up the stairs and burst through the door as Joel Oscar went crashing into the wall near my head. I looked over in the direction he came from but no one was there. I scanned the room and could tell that whoever threw him had vanished. That scent was fading in the room too. I dropped to my knees and put a hand on Joel. He flinched, whimpering away from at me.

"God please, no don't!" He begged as he moved his arm and looked at me. I could see he was stunned and utterly confused.

"I'm here to help, are you ok?" I asked softly, tucking the gun down the back of my waistband.

"I,um... I thought... she was just... what the hell is going on here?!" He cried out, eyes wide in utter fear.

I got Joel to calm down and sat in his kitchen as I tried to get him to talk to me. I slipped on the coffee he made and looked over to his face. He was processing everything that had just happened to him, but there was something else. We sat in silence and I knew the longer I waited the harder it would be to track Misty down.

"Look, clearly _something_ was just trying to kill you." I started as his eyes darted to mine.

"She, she she... I um... I have no idea what's going on." Joel sighed rubbing his head. He had knocked it pretty hard.

"Ok, why don't we start with the deal you made." I asked softly as he let out a bitter laugh.

"How do you know about the deal?" He asked suspiciously.

"You're not the first to have this happen to you. I go around breaking these kind of deals. I promise, I'm here to help. You just need to explain it all to me, ok?" I was as honest as I could be without freaking him out any more than he was already. Joel sat there weighing up if he could trust me or not before letting out a small sigh.

"I didn't believe it." He scoffed running a hand over his face. "Me, Jack and Scott went to the bar. It was going to be a our last goodbye to the factory. We got the letter from the bank, they were shutting us down by Monday." Joel shook his head as he looked at me. "You ever get so low, that you think, what the hell, sounds crazy but it can't get much right?" He asked looking straight into my eyes.

"Actually, all the time." I nodded hugging the cup closer to my body. "Only, it usually gets much worse." I added with a shrug.

"We got a private dance, drinks flowing. I can't even remember how it all happened, not really. We got talking about why we were there. She said she could help. I couldn't stop laughing! How can a stripper help save a business? I mean they're not exactly Mensor material, you know?" He asked shaking his head as he took a sip of his coffee. "Anyway some how we listen to her. She said for our souls she would make sure the company never had money issues again."

"You're soul?" I asked carefully. It sure sounded like a crossroads deal to me.

"I know right? My soul! Like I'm going to give up that for anyone. Scott and Jack couldn't wait to agree. They clearly didn't know the deal they were making. They just saw boobs I think." He scoffed then his eyes seemed to glaze over as he remembered something. "I was so against it. I didn't want to agree. She smiled and touched my arm," Joel touched his arm where she had touched it. "I don't know. At that touch it all made sense. I just agreed. I couldn't remember why I was so against it before."

"Just a touch and you forgot?" I asked confused because now it was sounding like she was a crossroads demon and a Siren together. I frowned as I tried to make Joel make it clear. "Was there two of them? Two strippers?" I asked thinking maybe Misty and her BFF Lexi were the Siren and demon. It made perfect sense that they would work together.

"No, no just her." Joel blinked as he turned back to look at me. "She kissed all three of us and then the next morning we got a massive order. It saved the company. Since then, we've never looked back." Joel lent back in his seat and looked guilty. "We used to joke about the deal, every time we went down to the strip club, we joked with her about it. Our souls..." I felt the sadness and grief wash over Joel. "Then Jack died, and Scott. Five years just like she promised."

"The contract was only for five years?" I questioned as at least Crowley had given me the right information for once.

"Yeah. It's so stupid. I mean we've been sleeping together for years." Joel confessed. "She would come over once a week, I hid it from everyone. We didn't want people to know." Joel added looking lost. "But today... she... her eyes turned red. She tried to kill me. You probably think I'm nuts huh?" Joel asked turning to me, turning pale.

"Not so much." I admitted with a soft smile. "Joel, you might have figured it out, but she isn't exactly human." I approached the subject carefully.

"You think?!" He cried out, shaking his head again.

"I just need to make sure we're both on the same page her." I said pulling up Misty's photo. "I can handle not human, but I need to make sure we are talking about the same girl." I added.

"Handle? What the hell does that mean?!" Joel cried out getting worked up as I slid the phone over to him.

"You really don't want to know." I sighed as I saw the fear flash through his eyes. "Is this the stripper?" I asked tapping the top of the phone. Joel took the phone and his eyes went wide.

"Misty?! That bimbo! No! God no! I doubt she can even spell contract!" Joel scoffed passing me the phone back.

"Then who?" I pressed realising my whole theory was about to be thrown off balance.

* * *

><p>I got Joel to stay in his house, protected with some hoodoo, that would keep a normal crossroads demon away. I still wasn't a hundred percent certain what the hell I was about to face as I pulled up outside the bar. I made sure I had the bronze blade with Joel's blood on me, but I was more bothered that I had my family blade and gun. I took a deep breath as I tied my hair up and rolled my head on my shoulders. My wolf was just under the surface ready to pounce as soon as I found her. I walked into the bar and found it was empty, not a soul in sight. I pulled on my wolf side, closing my eyes as she came rushing to the foreground. I let out a sharp breath as I blinked and felt the power running through me. This was the first time I had really released this side of me since I returned. She was hungry and ready for a good fight.<p>

"Anyone in?" I called out as I stalked further into the club, to the side where the dancers usually were. I couldn't hear a single heartbeat as I kept my wits about me. The dim lights of the place would have been an issue if it wasn't for my wolf side.

"Megan? What are you doing here so early? I thought your shift didn't start till eight?" A female voice asked as I turned and was face to face with Isabella. She had her hair down and was wearing the snake skin jump suit with a massive slit where her cleavage was on show.

"I have a little business to take care of." I answered as she noticed my eyes and smirked.

"Sexy wolf eyes, I can totally dig that." She smirked licking her lips as she took another step closer to me. I pulled the gun up on instinct and held it up, ready for a fight. "A hunter? An actual hunter? Huh!" She blinked as her eyes turned blood red. "Man, there was a moment when I thought you were just another demon trying to step on my patch." She chuckled as she waved a finger at me.

"What gave me away?" I asked plainly, refusing to let her get the drop on me.

"I mean the ripped tat, threw me." She started to move over to one of the seats. "But then I went to your room. Hunter. Obviously." She smirked leaning on the back of a chair.

"So we know what I am. What are you?" I asked lifting my chin as I looked at Isabella.

"Crossroads demon, the red eyes give it away you know." She chuckled as I cocked my head to one side.

"And the scent?" I asked plainly. Isabella let out a rich laugh as she tossed her long hair off her face.

"Well, lets just say we're not all born equal." She quipped as I raised an eyebrow. "Mommy dear, did love to experiment." She added with a wide beaming smile.

"Eve?! Eve did this to you?" I snapped as it clicked in my head.

"She made me, a dash of Siren with all the creamy goodness of crossroads." Isabella smirked licking her lips as she suddenly pushed herself off the chair and raced at me. I got off a few shots as her body crashed into mine. We went flying backwards as she landed on me, straddling me and throwing the gun out of reach. I growled as she lowered her face to mine, her red eyes locked on mine. "Such a sexy werewolf." She teased darting her tongue out and licking my lips. "Hmm, I just love that taste!" She hummed as I punched her square in the face knocking her off me. I rolled in the opposite direction, rolling onto my feet as she stood up, throwing the hair out of her face as she smirked at me again.

"End all the contracts in town!" I demanded raising my fists up.

"Make me." She winked as we both charged at each other. I swung out and got a good shot to her body. Isabella doubled over, using the momentum to spear me into the wall hard. I felt the plaster crack at the impact as I let out a grunt. Pain shot up my back but it just pissed me off more which in turn fed into my wolf side. I elbowed her back hard making her release me and back up.

"Cancel them now and I promise to kill you quickly!" I snapped with a deep animalistic growl.

"Threats are such a turn on." Isabella chuckled as she brought her leg up, kicking me straight into the face. I stumbled back into the wall, tasting my own blood in my mouth. I let out another grunt as I balled my fists up. I moved closer to her, swinging out a couple of punches that made perfect connection. I felt the air leave Isabella's lungs as I shot sharp hard jabs. She cried out in pain as she doubled over again, this time in more pain. As her head went down I brought my knee up and heard a crack I was waiting for. Isabella let out a small scream of pain pushing me away from her. I smirked as she stood up, flipping her hair over her head. Her nose was broken and bleeding badly.

"I'd apologise but it's just going to get more rough." I joked feeling the release I was getting from beating the crap out of her. This was what I needed, this was what I had been craving. I was beating down on her, but somewhere in my mind it was telling me that all this was Dean. I was ripping him apart, breaking his nose.

"Not the face! I need to keep working after I've killed you!" She screamed as I pulled out the bronze blade and held it tight in my hand. Isabella cocked an eyebrow and smirked at the blade. She waved her hand out at me and the blade went flying out of my hand, landing in Joel's picture on the wall of fame. "You want to kill me? We do this hand to hand." She purred as we started to circle each other.

"Fine by me!" I screamed out as I waited for her next move. Isabella swung out a fist to me, I caught it and twisted her body so it was facing away from me. I jerked her body to mine and wrapped my arm over her chest holding her against my body. "It's been ages since I snacked on a demon." I hissed into her neck as I opened my mouth, ready to bite into the the flesh. Her foot came flying up and it was only by reflex that I managed to catch it. Unfortunately this meant that Isabella's body was free, she elbowed me in the ribs and I felt the a crack vibrate through my whole chest. I yelped pushing her away with so much force I heard her crash into a couple of table. I bent over as I felt the burning pain in my chest. She had cracked a rib badly and it felt like it was digging into my lung.

"Aww did that hurt?" Isabella mocked as she waved a hand making my body snap up straight. I let out a scream as my side protested badly.

"I am going to kill you." I growled as I pulled my family knife out and started to run at her. Isabella held her hand out and stopped me in my tracks. She smirked with a glint in her eyes as she swung her hips to glide over to me.

"I thought I said no toys in the bedroom?" She purred as she put her hand on my chest. I started to smell the scent that clouded my mind so effectively. "Pheromones, very handy when you need to keep someone from questioning you." She purred as I tried to fight against the hold she had over me.

"No... I wont..." I growled out with as much force as I could muster.

"You will." She lent close to my face and whispered into my ear. I could feel her breath on my skin and it sent a shiver down my spine. "That's it." She hummed as her lips pressed a teasing kiss on my ear. As her lips touched my skin my wolf side just went. In a heartbeat she had completely calmed the raging wolf inside of me. My mind clouded with thoughts that were just down right sinful.

"What... how? It's gone." I breathed out as Isabella pulled away from my face. I instantly missed her warmth.

"It's my party piece." She smirked as she moved back. "Now, what do we have here?" She purred looking dead into my brown eyes. I couldn't look away from her, she was just so captivating and beautiful. She was everything I ever wanted in a partner and my body was telling me that I wanted her, and I wanted her now.

"You're stunning." I gushed as her smirk grew. I bit my bottom lip just imaging what it would feel like to make her crack out into a full blown smile. She moved closer again and my heart jumped into my throat as my breath caught. She ran a ghost of a touch over my cheek and I craved that contact.

"You're in pain." She purred her eyes locked on mine the whole time. "You are in so much pain." She pouted sadly as she kept her eyes locked on mine.

"I'm in love." I corrected her, a smirk crossing my lips as her thumb ran over my lower lip.

"You were." She frowned a little, taking her hand back. "They broke your heart. I mean like really broke your heart. That raw pain, it's pouring out of your soul." Isabella almost sang as I felt a twinge of the pain she was talking about. The dart of pain faded just as quickly as it came though.

"Then take it away." I hummed softly. "Take me, and make that guy just a bad day dream." I begged her as she nodded a little. I just needed to be completely with her in every sense of the word.

"He? A hunter?" She asked biting her lip and driving me wild.

"Dean Winchester." I answered panting a little, she cocked a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"A Winchester. Nice." She smirked and then frowned as her eyes locked on mine again. "Oh but that pain, it's got to be eating you up inside."

"He hurt me bad, yeah." I shrugged feeling the twinge again, sharper this time. "But love bites, and so do I." I winked before slowly licking my bottom lip.

"You are giving me so many naughty ideas." Isabella purred as she ran a hand down my arm.

"I like naughty ideas." I purred as I felt her touch on my bare skin. It was driving me crazy, she was so close to me but I couldn't just touch her. She was still holding me perfectly in place.

"How about this, I will make sure all that pain goes. Every last bit. I'll make sure Dean Winchester feels everything he put you through and more." Isabella darted her eyes to my lips. "And all I ask in return? Your soul." She purred taking her hands off me. I had a moment of pure clarity, a flash in the darkness. Dean's face flashed into my mind, and I with his face I realised how much danger I was in.

"No!" I snapped the fear clear in my eyes as I realised how close she was to me. I tried to move my arm but I was held in place. My heart raced as I struggled against the invisible hold she had on me. "No go to hell bitch! I'm going to kill you!" I hissed into her face. Isabella was completely un-phased by it all.

"Damn you're a tricky one." She hummed as she touched my arm again. Instantly I was pulled back into the clouded warmth she brought. "Now how about it?" She purred as my heart raced at her touch.

"You'll make him pay?" I asked arching an eyebrow as I thought about it all. That sharp twinge hitting my heart again.

"So bad, and I'll make sure he will go through everything you felt and more." She purred as she darted her eyes to my lips again. She licked her own and darted her eyes back to mine.

"For my soul." I barely could get the words out, she was so enticing. I wanted her so badly. All I knew is that if I said yes, I could have her. I could take her and make her mine. It was all I wanted, needed in that moment. "I guess... I can do that. As long as he pays." I whispered out the words as my eyes locked on hers again.

"I knew you'd say yes." Isabella gave me a smile that made my heart race. "Now for the fun, one little kiss and the deal is made. Do you want to kiss me?" She asked cocking her head to one side.

"Oh god I can't wait to kiss you." I purred as I felt the hold she had on me release. I stumbled slightly into her body and that contact was everything I needed and more.

"One kiss." She whispered, her breath on my skin driving me crazy. There wasn't much of a gap between us anyway, but she lent closer. Her eyes locked on mine the whole time as I took a deep breath. Time seemed to slow as I felt her heat getting closer. I licked my lips as I felt her lips hovering so damn teasingly close to mine.

"One kiss." I whispered back, my eyes darting to her red lips, before back to her eyes. She smirked nodding her head a little as I started to lean closer. My heart racing like a teenager in love. _One kiss and she's mine forever. Dean will be nothing but a bad memory._

* * *

><p>"<em>Back in black! I hit the sack!I I've been too long, I'm glad to be back!<em>" AC/DC's Back in Black screamed out in the silence. Dean's ring tone only getting louder by the second. I blinked realising just what I was about to do. All the cloud, the fuzz in my head instantly disappeared. I forced the blade in my hand forward, when Isabella wrapped a hand round my hand, stopping me.

"We are going to make this deal!" She hissed as we struggled for the blade. The whole time the song continued to to play. I punched her in the face hard, snapping her head back with so much force I was sure I'd ripped her head off. I heard the sick crack of her neck breaking as she snapped her head forward again.

"Die bitch!" I screamed pulling on my wolf strength to force the blade into her stomach. Lightening went through her whole body as I bit into her neck, feeding off the demon inside her. I dropped her body to the floor and pulled the phone out of my pocket just in time to see the call stop. My heart was racing as I looked at the phone. _What did I just nearly do? I could have killed him? I could have killed myself. Shit I let that get way out of hand._

* * *

><p>I called Joel and told him, that his contract was broken. He was free. I went back to my motel room and cleaned up. I was in the middle of packing when I heard glasses land on the table behind me. I didn't need to turn around to know that Crowley was here.<p>

"One of those for me?" I asked zipping up my back pack.

"For a job well done." Crowley cheered as I turned to face him. He picked up the glasses and passed me the other. "Excellent work Megan." He chuckled taking a sip of his glass.

"What happens to the rest of her contracts?" I asked cocking an eyebrow as Crowley rolled his eyes.

"Fine," He huffed clicking his fingers. "Void." He muttered as I took a sip of the Scotch.

"How long did you know she was a creation of Eve's?" I asked sitting on the edge of the bed. Crowley sat at the table opposite me and shrugged.

"Does that really matter?" He asked looking over at me. "You got to beat the living crap out of her, and then kill her. You got what you wanted out of the deal and so did I." He shrugged again.

"But she could have killed me." I ground out with a glare to match. "Knowing she was one of Eve's from the start would have helped."

"You might have said no to me if I told you." Crowley pointed out tilting his head to one side.

"You should have told me." I huffed as we sat in silence and finished our drinks. A thought popped into my head. "You could have killed her, you really didn't need to make the spectacle about the hunters. You scared of her power?" I asked as Crowley let out a chuckle.

"There are a very few number of things that scare me Love." Crowley answered with his usual cocky tone.

"She one of them?" I asked pushing the issue.

"Absolutely not." Crowley got to his feet. The confident washed off him.

"Then why me?" I asked getting to my own feet. Crowley paused as he looked at me, really looking into my eyes.

"She nearly had a contract with you." Crowley said with a smirk.

"How do you know?!" I snapped as my eyes widened with fear.

"Because I asked her to make one." He quipped as rage ran through my body.

"You son of a bitch!" I cried out and tried to move closer to him. He was holding me far enough away from him so that I couldn't do anything to him.

"I told you at the start. You've got potential kid. I really mean it. That pain I see in your eyes. The way Squirrel's ripped your heart out. You only see that once a generation." Crowley explained as he looked dead into my eyes. "Your pain, your rage, your power. There is so much potential in there that I would have been foolish not to try and take advantage of the situation."

"I don't care if we're meant to play nice. I am going to kill you." I ground out fighting against his hold.

"You've got potential, don't think I'm the only one who will notice." Crowley smirked before grabbing his glass. "I meant it when I said Megan, I didn't like seeing my friends hurt."

"We-" I ground out.

"Aren't friends." Crowley rolled his eyes as he waved his free hand. "Yet." He smirked before disappearing. I fell into the table and smashed my hands down hard.

* * *

><p>I had been driving for hours, Crowley's warning bouncing around my head as I tried to get things clear. He was right about one thing. I was holding onto this pain and hurt. It got me on the knives edge, I was so damn close to making that deal. The one thing that pulled me back from the darkness was Dean. As much as he hurt me, I knew he would always be the one to pull me back. I knew it was dangerous to keep holding onto this pain. There was only one way to work through it, one real way. I pulled over to the side of the road and grabbed my phone. I pressed dial and held it to my ear. My heart raced as I heard it ring.<p>

"_Megan?_" Dean asked making my breath catch in my throat. There was so much confusion in his voice. I couldn't speak, words just wouldn't come out of my mouth. "_Megan? Are you there? Megan?_" Dean asked snapping me out of my muteness.

"Thank you." I blurted out and then bashed my head against the steering wheel. _Smooth move...idiot! Thank you, really?_

"_Come again?_" Dean asked more confused as he let out a small sigh. I bit my lip as I tried to work out how to explain myself.

"It's really freaking complicated, but, I mean, um you saved me on this last hunt. I was kinda on the edge and you called me, brought me back. I just, I just wanted to say thanks." I stumbled my way through the explanation, my heart racing as I realised just how damn close I was to really messing things up.

"_The edge?_" Dean asked utterly confused. "_Megan, are you in danger, do you nee- do you want um help?_"

"No! No I'm ok now, I know... it's ok. It's a long story, I'll tell you all about it one day." I answered shaking my head as I felt like a complete idiot.

"_Are you sure you're ok? You sound... scared._" Dean let out a heavy sigh as he lowered his voice. I knew instantly that Sam had to be around.

"You don't want to know." I answered honestly.

"_I- I'm sorry._" Dean hummed as I pushed the hair out my face.

"I know." I whispered as a lump formed in my throat. "I called to um, I wanted to um. Us." I stumbled over my words again as I cleared the lump in my throat.

"_Us? You wanted to talk about us?_" Dean asked and I hear the hope in his voice as clear as crystal.

"I need to get things clear in my head. It's tearing me apart here Dean." I admitted closing my eyes as I felt the pain rip through my chest.

"_Megan-_" Dean said my name so damn sadly.

"I just need to make it clear." I answered as I heard Dean curse under his breath. I could hear Sam's voice in the background but I couldn't make out what he was saying. "Bad timing?" I joked sadly.

"_Just, just give me two seconds._" Dean answered before badly covering the mouth piece. "_Sammy, I need to take this. Tell Frank I'll be in when I'm done, see what he''s got._" There was a pause where I heard Sam mumble a reply. "_He wont shoot you! Just, just remember no quick movements._" Dean almost joked before pulling the phone back to his ear. "_I'm here._" He said plainly.

"You guys are at Franks?" I asked biting my lip a little.

"_Yeah, he owes us some Intel._" Dean explained before letting out a sigh. "_I, I don't know how to-_"

"Don't say sorry, please." I begged as the pain in my chest seemed to intensify. "I can't take sorry right now. I just... I need to know that there wasn't something I could have done-" I heard Sam yell Deans name.

"_Megan- I gotta- I-_" I could hear the pain in Dean's voice as he interrupted me.

"Go." I let out a heavy sigh as I heard Dean run. A few moments later and I could hear the gasp.

"_You think it's his blood?_" Sam asked from the side. "_It's everywhere_."

"_I... who else could it be?_" Dean asked in utter shock. I pulled the phone away from my ear and realised that Dean had bigger things to deal with in that moment. He couldn't process Frank being gone and talking to me about how our marriage failed. I hung up and put my phone down. I got out my car and lent against the side. I let out a heavy sigh as I looked up to the sky.

"It's ripping me apart from the inside and God help me I'm trying to get past all this. I'm trying so damn hard to know that- that you and me-! I can't I can't even say it! I'm so broken right now Dean. I hurt so damn bad and there's a part of me that wants to run to you. I want to run to you and let you hold me, make me feel like it's all going to be ok again. But I can't, we can't. How can we when-" I scrubbed my face and shook my head. I was never going to be able to explain to Dean how much I loved him. Or how badly this pain was that I felt like I was going to carry around for the rest of my life. I knew I shouldn't hold onto it, but I honestly didn't know how to get over Dean Winchester.


	21. The Born Again Identity

Hey everyone here's my next chapter- enjoy!

* * *

><p>Three months ago I found out that Dean had cheated on me. With not just a woman, but an Amazon. The cherry on top was the fact she gave birth to his daughter. Not only had Dean cheated on me, breaking my heart into a million pieces, he managed to get her knocked up in the process.<br>The rage that fallowed turned into a constant pain, a dagger in my heart. It made me mad -violent. I wanted to rip the world apart with my bare hands. I could barely keep my wolf side in check. I had next to no control over it. The rage blinded me, I was seconds away from making a mistake I could never fix and guess who pulled me back from the brink? Dean freaking Winchester. He saved me when he wasn't even there.  
>I tried to talk to him, I called and wanted so desperately to open up about the way my heart was torn apart. But just like everything in our lives the supernatural got in the way again. He had called me back, but either I was in a hunt or not in the mood to talk. I tried to call him a couple of times but it was the same situation. He was busy on a hunt or just not picking up. Eventually we both stopped trying to call each other. Two months past and I hadn't heard from him.<br>Every couple of weeks Sammy had been calling or e-mailing me, just keeping in touch. After he realised I didn't want to talk about Dean anymore we drifted a little more. It had been nearly a month since I talked to Sam. I figured he had just given up talking to me too. It hurt that the only real family I had left had drifted so far from me. I was alone again. Alone and having to rely on just myself. It was an odd feeling, something familiar and comforting in the solitude.

* * *

><p>I had been busy in my three months though. I stuck to the infamous O'Connor trick of working through everything and pushing the feelings deep, <em>deep<em>, down_._ I took any case I could catch and worked hard on finding anything remotely Leviathan based. It wasn't too hard to keep track of Roman Enterprises, Dick wasn't shy after all. But what he was really up to, what the plots of land meant... they were harder to track. After a little digging I found Dick had bought large land parcels up and down America. I had looked into it a little closer and saw that he had put in permission to build on them all. From the proposes I could find they were for medical research facilities. It didn't specify what medical research it was for, but from the size of the places and amount of grants being thrown at them, it was for something big.

"So you want me to believe that you, have no idea why Mr Roman has people going round all the best hospital this side of the Atlantic, recruiting the best medical staff money can buy?" I scoffed as I lent back in my chair. I was sat in a café interviewing a board of director of just one the hundred hospitals Dick had been legitimately hiring medical staff from. As far as I could tell these were real people too, not Leviathans.

"Look, I'm here unofficially because you flashed your damn badge in my office Agent Grey." Huffed Henry Ward, a balding fifty year old man, who I had scared into talk to me. "If anyone from the board finds me talking to you-" He grunted, his eyes darting around to make sure he wasn't being watched.

"Yeah, I know. But trouble." I waved a hand dismissively as I shook my head. "You know why he's hiring staff, all I'm asking is for you to pass that information onto me." I shrugged innocently before taking a sip of my coffee.

"Mr Roman has pushed so much money into... I mean the donations alone. Why is the FBI so interested in the man? He's practically a saint!" Mr Ward cried out as he started to get worked up. I forced myself not to reply to the saint comment, instead I let out a heavy sigh pinching the bridge of my nose.

"National Security, I told you." I groaned as I looked back over to Mr Ward. I was beyond playing games with this guy, he would give me the information I needed or I was going to make him. "Now look, you tell me everything you know about the hiring of medical staff for Roman Enterprises or I am going to make regular visits to your office, you house, the house of the woman you're sleeping with, the hospital, your favourite restaurant and even your mothers house, got me?" I asked leaning forward and putting a small snarl into my words. Mr Ward spluttered as he sat back in his seat. My phone began to ring in my pocket, I pulled it out and glanced back to Mr Ward. "You've got until I finish this phone call to decided exactly what you want to tell me." I growled getting up and walking away from the table but keeping Mr Ward in my sights. I watched as he squirmed nervously as I put the phone up to my ear. "Yeah?" I sighed out heavily. I just wanted to punch the man until he told me everything I needed to know. _It's not the worst idea I could have... could be fun._

"_Sam's in hospital._" Dean's voice was barely above a whisper as my eyes widened with the words registering in my brain.

"He's hurt?" I asked confused, my brain coming up with a million scenarios of hunts gone wrong. Or worse Leviathans finding the pair and..._ No Megan... don't go there._

"_Got hit by a car, the doctors patched him up but... but he's in a locked psychiatric ward._" Dean explained and I could hear the fear in his voice. Something twisted in side of me, the fear in Dean's voice cutting deep into me. Damn it the man had such a hold over my emotions.

"Psychiatric ward? Wha- why?" I asked struggling to get all the pieces to fit together in my mind.

"_Take a guess._" Dean sighed out flatly and my stomach fell.

"The wall?" I gasped out not wanting to believe it. If the wall had fallen I could only dare to imagine what horrors Sam was seeing, going through. I had just a taste of what he was like just before the wall went up and it was enough to haunt me still. I hated to think what he was going through now.

"_He's seeing Lucy 24/7, he hasn't been sleeping. The docs have give him sedatives but it's not enough to knock him out. They said they couldn't give him anymore... something to do with overdosing him._" Dean grunted in frustration before pausing for a beat. "_Megan, Sam's... He's... he's given up._" Dean whispered the last part of the sentence, it was breaking Dean that Sam had given up. Sam wasn't a quitter and I knew something major had to happen to make Sam just give up. I rubbed my temple as I felt the familiar thumping of a Winchester headache build. It was going to be a long couple of days but there was only one thing I could do.

"Ok, ok, I," My eyes darted over to Mr Ward, he was still squirming. _Damn it, I know I was getting close to answers! Family comes first though._ "Text me the address of the hospital. I'll meet you there and we'll... we will hit the books, we'll call anyone who might know, someone who could help. We hit this hard and we fight for Sam." I nodded as the confidence flowed out from my voice, it was the exact opposite of what I was feeling and I honestly had no idea how to save Sam. Let alone how I was going to face Dean again.

"_I didn't ring for you to come down Megan._" Dean sighed loudly. "_I just... I thought you should know._" Those words ripped my heart apart. I lent against the wall and blew the air out of my cheeks. I shook my head as I tried to keep calm- it didn't work.

"You called just _to let me know_? This is Sam, this is Sammy! You think that I wouldn't come running to help?!" I snapped with all the anger I was feeling. "Either one of you guys get hurt and I'll be there! Idiot!"

"_It isn't like we're on talking terms Megan._" Dean grunted out as I heard him sigh. "_This is the first time in months we've even talked._" He pointed out, making that pain flare in my chest. He was right, it was the first time we had talked, but it was Sam it didn't matter.

"It's Sam, he's family!" I snapped brushing the hair out of my face in frustration. I would have probably punched Dean if he was stood in front of me in that moment.

"_My family, not yours._" Another twist in the heart from Dean Winchester ladies and gentlemen. I held my breath for a beat before letting it out slowly. My heart was crushing under the words of Dean. I couldn't believe how cruel he was being towards me.

"Someone once told me that family doesn't end with blood." I bit out a Bobby quote and shook my head. "So you listen to me Dean,_ I-can-do-this-all-alone-but-not-really_ Winchester, I am coming! You will text me that damn address or so help me, when I get there you'll be in a bed right next to Sam! You got me?!" I snapped pushing myself off the wall as I started to pace in a small circle. I heard a chuckle down the line and I couldn't help but let the smile crack out of my lips too. It instantly broke some of the rage that was building within me.

"_I'll text you the address, just don't go all Hulk on me, ok?_" Dean asked, the sadness returning to his voice as he let out a small sigh. "_I don't know how to fix this Megan._" He admitted to me and my heart felt like it was breaking all over again.

"That's why you called me." I smirked sadly as I clocked Mr Ward talking to a man I had seen round town. A man, I was certain was a Leviathan. "Shit." I muttered as Mr Ward pointed to me and the man, who was dressed in a sharp suit started to make his way over to me. My wolf sense's were going mental as my whole body was telling me to run as fast as I could. My stomach rolled as I realised I was way to under prepared to fight a Leviathan alone. I needed to run.

"_Everything ok?_" Dean asked as I bit my lip. The man was looking straight at me, his eyes locked on my own as he effortlessly made his way through the crowd of people towards me.

"I gotta run, text me the address." I rushed the words out of my mouth before ending the call and making my way to the exit as subtly as possibly. I could feel the Leviathans eyes on me as I darted past a couple of tables and reached the door. My heart was beating so loud in my ears I wasn't sure I could hear anything else. As I walked through the door, I took a second to glance over my shoulder, the Leviathan in the suit was making up the gap between us too fast. I let the door close before I took off in a sprint. I ran without looking back, I darted through a couple of side streets. As I ran I continued to check behind me. The pounding of my heart in my ears never leaving me as my feet made quick work of the path below them. I ran for twenty minutes, finally checking to see if I was being fallowed. There was no sign of the Leviathan but I knew I needed to get out of dodge pretty quickly.

* * *

><p>I ran back to the motel and went straight to my room. As soon as I got in I grabbed my bags and started to pack them up. I was in a rush, I was stuffing everything I had into my two bags. I stuffed my gun into my duffel bag when the door to my room was kicked in. I turned, my hand grabbing the gun and had it aimed perfectly at the man who walked through the door. He paused resting the door as shut as possible, though it was hanging off it's hinges. He turned to me and smirked.<p>

"Bullets wont hurt me." He laughed as I felt the fear rise in me. I knew too well what wouldn't work on a Leviathan unfortunately.

"You come for a chat?" I asked lowering my gun and dropping it by my side. It was useless anyway, so there wasn't much point in having it pointed.

"Megan, right? I mean you are on the Boss's list. He really thinks you are worth killing." The Leviathan chuckled as he walked into the room. The fear, the memories of that place gripped me like a vice. I couldn't move, my legs felt like they were in cased in cement as I just stood there utterly frozen. The pounding of my heart in my ears doubled as I felt utterly helpless in that moment.

"Little old me, who knew?" I shrugged, trying to act strong. Thankfully my voice came out a little cocky and so self assured. He started to walk over to me, a smug smile on his lips.

"Something about you being a one in a million." He continued as if he hadn't heard me talk. "So amazing that you can't be copied. I mean I get that is something pretty special, but really killing you for that reason alone doesn't sound too reasonable. All the effort I'm wasting while being here, I could be doing something so more productive with my day. But you gotta do what the Boss says right? Don't want to be bibbed." He shrugged as he stopped just in front of me. Each breath was an effort, I had to force myself to just breath with this monster so damn close to me.

"He wants me dead. He didn't tell you anything about me though?" I asked, my voice still strong as I tried to prolong death for as long as possible. My mind raced with the fear of ending right back in Purgatory, right back in my own personal hell.

"Yeah, he wants you dead, but not as much as those Winchesters. Hey, do you know where they are?" He asked smirking as if he already knew the answer. His eyes locked on mine as I felt the skin on my right arm being peeled off. I reassured myself it wasn't happening by putting my free hand over my forearm. No the skin was still there, my brain was just feeding into the fear that lived inside me. I watched the Leviathan glance to my forearm, a sick smile crossing his lips. He knew exactly what I was thinking. _Damn it O'Connor get your shit together! Don't show weakness! _ I took a deep breath and held it, pushing the fear as far down as I could get it to go. I felt my legs loosen up, my heart beat fade from my ears. I knew it was still there but at least the fear wasn't controlling me.

"Sorry, can't help you Jaws." I chuckled confidently, lifting my chin as I balled my free hand up, letting it drop by the side of me. The Leviathan cocked an eyebrow as he noticed my hand.

"A fist? Pff ok, sure you can try." He mocked shaking his head. "I'll just get the address from your phone once I kill you." The Leviathan took a step close and I swung out with everything I had, all the wolf powers inside of me. He actually stumbled backwards a few feet. My heart started to race for a whole new reason as I blinked and let my wolf side free.

"Ok, ouch." He joked rubbing his jaw as he glared at me. "My turn." He hissed charging at me and throwing his shoulder into my chest. It knocked the air out of my lung as he threw me into a wall – hard. I crumbled into the ground, plaster from the wall falling onto me as I let out a groan. Before I could move he grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me up off the floor, my gun falling helplessly.

"The Winchesters address." He barked in my face as I struggled to make the two images of him into one. I forced myself to focus the image into one as he snarled into my face. "NOW! Time is money!" He added so close to my face I thought he was going to take a bite out of me.

"221b Baker Street." I blurted out the only address I could think of and the Leviathan lowered me slightly, so that my feet were actually on the floor.

"Baker Street?!" He snapped with a malice chuckle before I felt his fist connect with my cheek. My head snapped to the side and once again my world was spinning. "I am not stupid! I'll just chomp down on you and get it from your damn phone!" He hissed as my head lulled to the side. I felt like I had been hit by a damn truck. My whole body was screaming out in pain and it was taking everything I had to keep my eyes open. From the corner of my eye I noticed the Leviathan snap his head back, I knew what was about to happen and my stomach dropped like a rock.

"No, no no! No, no!" I mumbled, the blood dripping from my bust lip. I clawed at his hand as his rows of teeth appeared and he snarled at the air. My heart jumped into my throat as I knew I had to do something and fast. His head turned and he lowered it to my body. I shot my left arm up, holding it across his mouth. His teeth sank into my skin and I let out a deep animalistic cry of pain. If I thought silver was painful, it was nothing to the way those teeth sank into my arm. The shot of pain rushed through my body as he began to clamp his teeth down round my arm._ Don't let him kill you, not here, not now! Stay Alive!_ I jerked my feet up, using all the strength inside of me to push away from the Leviathan, my feet landed in his stomach as I torn my arm free from his bite, blood shot out in all directions as he stumbled backwards and I fell to the floor with a thud. I couldn't focus on the raw pain that shot through my arm, or the amount of blood I was loosing. I just had to get to my duffel bag._ Move! Get Moving!_ I crawled across the floor and reached into the bag with my right hand, it instantly wrapped around the right weapon. I felt strong hands grasp at me as I was forcefully turned around. I took the momentum and used it as I was jerked around. I swung out with my machete and connected with his neck. His force gave me enough momentum to slice all the way through his neck in one quick flow. His head fell from his body as he let go of me. We both collapsed to the ground in heaps, his body leaking the black goo all over the floor as I panted hard.

"Shit! Damn it! That was too close!" I chastised myself as I caught my breath. I dropped the machete and took a look at my arm. I couldn't move the shirt arm, the blood was soaked into the fabric too much. But I could clearly see that there were six clear teeth points deep into my arm. I tried to move my fingers, they still moved but damn did it hurt. "Damn it! Stupid, stupid, stupid." I hissed hitting my head hard against the side of the bed. The bite was so damn deep, and it felt like it was constantly bleeding. My phone buzzed in my pocket, I pulled it out and saw it was Dean texting me the address for the hospital. "I need to get to Sam... this, will heal... I just need to move." I told myself as I looked around the chaotic mess that once was my room.

I grabbed the head and locked it a box, then tried my best to clear the bite up. I stitched up my arm the best I could, bandaged it, but it was still bleeding. I let out a heavy sigh as I covered it with a long sleeved black top. I cleaned up the mess in the motel room, dumping the Leviathans body in the nearest woods. I drove twenty miles in the wrong direction, until I found a deep lake. I dropped the box, head included, in the lake and then high tailed it to the hospital. There was no way I was going to be able to hide the cuts and bruises the Leviathan had given me, I just had to pray he believed whatever lie sprang to my lips when I saw him.

* * *

><p>The drive to the hospital was painful. My body was healing the cuts and bruises from the fight. Things clicked back into place, skin knitting back together. I was used to the pain, used to how utterly surreal it all felt but as I pulled up to a stop light, I rolled my sleeve up. The big bulky bandage was decorated in red patches. It was still bleeding. I frowned as I ghost a hand over the bandage.<p>

"Why aren't you healing?" I muttered to myself. I mean sure I knew it would probably take a while to heal, the bite went all the way to the bone, and ripped so much muscle I was surprised I could move my fingers still. But I knew that it should have at least stopped bleeding. I frowned as the light turned to green and I continued down the road. As I drove I felt a blast of heat work from my inside out. The blast rushed through my body so violently that I had to pull over. I felt the bile rise and I just made it out of my baby before throwing up on the side of the road. I felt dizzy as I stumbled onto my knees and continued to throw up until there was nothing left in side me. I dropped back onto my heels and swiped at my forehead, the sweat matting my hair to my face.

"Shit. Get it together O'Connor!" I grumbled as I wiped the sweat off my face with the back of my sleeve. "Sam! Sam is waiting for you. Get up. Get in the car. Get moving!" I growled as I tried to get to my feet. I wobbled and quickly fell back onto my knees as I panted hard. The world was spinning as another blast of heat rushed through me, quickly fallowed by some dry heaving. My stomach ached, I was sure I had pulled some muscles as finally the world returned to it's natural stated. My bile was staying in my stomach and I felt like I could move again. I slowly made my way over to my baby and lent again the side as the cool air brushed against my face, cooling me. I looked down at the bandaged arm, it was more red than white now. I knew something bad was happening. I just didn't have time to take care of myself. I had to get to Sam and Dean. I had to help them. I climbed into the car and let out a shaky breath as I started my baby and pulled back onto the road.

* * *

><p>I dropped Dean a quick text as I pulled up to the hospital. There was an Impala sat out there waiting for me. It wasn't <em>baby<em>, but it was close, a deep navy blue colour. The pain of healing had done a great job of distracting me from the fact I was about to see my cheating ex-husband again. But as I pulled up the realisation of the situation hit me- hard. I started to panic. My heart was racing as I gripped the wheel as tightly as I could with one hand. _Dean. I'm about to see Dean again. I haven't... I can't even... He cheated on me. Got a daughter. He had everything I could never give him. He cheated on me. Slept with her... I've barely talked to him. I can barley... how do even stand next to him? How can I even-_  
>All thoughts vanished as I saw Dean get out of the Impala. His whole body language screamed defeat. His head was down, his hands tucked into his pockets. He looked so... alone. I watched as he just leaned against the Impala, lost in his own thoughts.<p>

"I do this for Sam." I said aloud and felt my mouth go dry. I licked my lips and felt the sting from the side the Leviathan had bust open. I stole a glance of myself in the rear view mirror. I looked rough. I looked battered and beaten, and pale. I knew Dean was bound to notice, but I half hoped he was too occupied with Sam to really question it. I held my breath as I slowly climbed out of the car, my whole body protesting the movement.

"Sorry I took so long." I groaned out as I closed the door and he walked over to me. My heart jumped into my throat as I watched him walk over to me and stop short. He stop just a little further away than he used to. It hurt. It actually hurt that he was keeping himself away from me. I frowned as I took him in. I was right, he looked defeated and exhausted. I wasn't sure if he was getting any rest at all. The world seemed to knocking him off his feet every two seconds. And I was just another of those knocks. His green eyes seemed so dull as they took me in, my whole being in one soul crushing look.

"Bad fight?" Dean asked softly his green orbs settling on my own eyes, there was an emotion playing behind them but he was doing his best to hide it from me. I broke his gaze and brushed the hair out of my face, thankful that he hadn't notice the slight bulge to my left forearm. I looked back up and gave his a quick smile, one my lip protested.

"They got a few lucky punches." I winced as I rolled my shoulders, instantly regretting it. I screwed my face up at the pain and blew the air out of my cheeks as I looked back to Dean.

"Just a few?" Dean asked cocking an eyebrow as I let out a sigh. There was something in the way he said it, a tension under the surface of his words. It put me slightly on edge.

"Yeah, just a few." I bit back harsher than I intended and watched as Dean coiled back into himself a little. But there was some level of judgement in his green eyes, that some how I should be totally honest with him.

"Not many things can do that." Dean took my tone on the chin and pressed the issue.

"Not many." I echoed his words as I let out a grunt. We weren't here to talk about how badly I got my arse handed to me, nor who did it. I looked down at my bandaged arm, now hidden by a jacket and the long sleeved black top. _This is harder than I thought. Maybe I should just go... I'm sure we could do the research separately anyway. Maybe it would be faster apart. I just... I don't know how to be around him anymore._

"You kill it?" Dean asked frowning at me slightly and snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up and caught that emotion he had tried so hard to keep from me. He was worried about me, he still cared about me. Knowing that, just added to the cutting pain deep in my chest. _I'm here for Sam. He's hurting and needs my help. Sam._

"Yeah." I huffed and turned my attention to the hospital. It looked like any other hospital I had seen in America. "So Sam?" I asked, looking back, seeing the hurt and fear in Dean's eyes. In just two words his whole body language had changed.

"He... I can't go back in there. Not without something... not without some way to fix him." There was so much emotion threatening to break out, something Dean rarely did. He shook his head and looked away from me. "I um, I told the doctors that you're family. They'll let you in." Dean added before I could say anything. It was tearing him apart and I didn't need my wolf powers to see it. He was so broken and it cut right to the bone for me. I felt the twinge in my heart as all my emotions for Dean mashed into one. I wanted so badly to reach out and hold him, tell him that we'd fix it. That it was all going to be ok. But I didn't. I stood there and watched as Dean pulled on everything that made him a deadly hunter. That same old trick he did to try and protect himself from the pains of the real world. I frowned, knowing him so well, and knowing how badly this was hurting him.

"We will find something." I said firmly, putting a hand on Dean's shoulder without thinking. Dean looked from my hand to my eyes and smiled. It just didn't quite reach his ears though. I knew deep down he was worried that maybe, there just wasn't a way to fix him this time.

* * *

><p>I walked into the hospital and found Dr Kadinsky, who was Sam's doctor. He was a small, balding, older chubby man with a round face and round glasses. I greeted him with a warm smile, and watched as his eyes darted over the cuts on my face.<p>

"Dr Kadinsky, I'm Sam Smith's cousin." I introduced myself, holding out my right hand to shake. Dr Kadinsky paused, still cataloguing all the cuts that decorated my face and exposed skin.

"Ah, yes Dean told me you were coming." He shook my hand and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, are you ok?" He added with a frown as I gave him a gentle smile. I licked my lips and felt the sting from where it was bust again.

"I was in a car crash a couple of weeks ago. I know, I look bad, but I had to come and see Sam." I lied like a pro and watched Dr Kadinsky lap it all up.

"I see. I'm sorry. You're family really are having a rough time of it at the moment." He quickly cleared his throat and led me down a corridor. "You are aware that Sam is experiencing a full-blown psychotic episode?" He asked carefully, as I nodded slowly. _Full-blown psychotic episode? Being locked in with Lucifer sure would do that to anyone... if they survived. I'm just surprised his not some babbling mess on the floor._

"I, um, yes. Dean explained it... but I just... It's Sam, you know?" I shrugged helpless for words as I let my emotions run through the words. "I had to come see him, see how he actually coping." I admitted as a pang of guilt hit me.

"I understand, how long has it been since you've seen him?" The doctor asked as he buzzed us onto a high security ward. I made a note of the combination for the door as we passed through it.

"Three months now. Time just gets away from us." I admitted feeling the guilt tripled inside me. I felt so guilty for not being there for Sam. _I should have kept in better contact with him, maybe I could have seen the signs. Maybe I could have helped him out sooner. Maybe I could have stopped it happening._ I bowed my head as those guilty thoughts bounced around. Dr Kadinsky put his hand on my left arm and I snatched it back, muffling a cry out pain. Even his touch was too much for my arm. As I cradled it to my body I just knew it would be bleeding again. Dr Kadinsky looked at me utterly shocked and confused.

"My arm was hurt worst." I hissed out as I cradled it against my chest and I tried to keep from punching him straight in the face.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry- I, I didn't know." He stumbled through an apology as I cradled the arm, letting the pain dull back to a throbbing level. I just nodded as I felt the sleeve of my top get damp and stick to the jacket. _Great busted stitches... yay. Not._ "I just, I need to warn you that the Sam in there may not be the same Sam you remember." He warned as his eyes drifted to the door we found ourselves stood out side of. My heart raced a little as I looked at the door and wonder just what I was about to face.

"I know. I just need to see him." I whispered out promising myself that I would find a way to help Sam out, to make him better even if I had to find Death himself.

"I'll be waiting outside." The doctor explained, opening the door for me. I held my breath as I walked in and saw Sam laid on the bed, his back against the top. His eyes seemed glazed over and if I thought Dean had looked exhausted, then Sam was taking it all to a new level. He slowly turned his head to me as I cracked a small smile.

"Hey Sam." I said warmly as I sat on the side of the bed next to him.

"Megan. What are you... Dean called you?" Sam asked surprised, but his words were slightly slurred, his exhaustion was too easy to see. It hurt seeing Sam so broken like this.

"Yes he did." I smirked and licked my cut. The shot of pain stopped me from crying, because in all honestly I just wanted to cry and hug Sam.

"Least I got you two to talk again." Sam tried to laugh, but it came out flat. He turned his head behind me and listened to a voice that wasn't just there. A frown forming on his face as he seemed to dislike what the voice was saying. I turned over my shoulder but I couldn't see anything, sense anything there.

"You know, I'm getting the feeling we've done this before." I joked softly as Sam turned his attention back to me. There was a pained look on Sam's face and I gave him a sympathetic smile. "He talking to you a lot then?" I asked biting my lip softly. Again the pain helping me keep a handle on my emotions.

"All the time. If I close my eyes I'm just back in the pit. He won't let me sleep." Sam huffed as he rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes. I hesitated as I watched Sam screw his face up in an attempt to be more awake.

"You try the hand thing?" I asked looking at the scar on his palm.

"A long time ago." Sam answered, shaking his head slowly. "I can't get rid of him. I know his not really- _him_." Sam added sadly. I put my hand over his and gave it a small squeeze.

"We'll fix this." I said looking straight into his dull green eyes. They were nothing like Sam's eyes, I could see the defeat in them, the defeat Dean had told me about. Sam scoffed pulling his hand back as I raised an eyebrow. His eyes darted to the table behind me again before slowly drawing them back to me.

"Dean said the same thing." He scoffed shaking his head slowly.

"You don't believe us?" I asked carefully, a hint of a challenge in my voice.

"There is no way to cure this." He sighed, sitting forward. "This isn't something we can just fix. My soul has been Lucifer's play thing for too long. He did... he's doing things that I can't- My soul is this torn and battered thing. Putting it back inside me, the wall failing, it was bound to happen Megan. We had no idea what we were doing. What it could do to me. It was bound to break, this was bound to happen eventually. It's just going to get worse and I'm going to die. The sooner the pair of you realise the better." He explained, the defeat clear in his voice as he looked straight into my eyes. I frowned as I shook my head. I had to look away from Sam, the way he was talking. The defeat that was just rolling off of him, I understood exactly how Dean felt because I was feeling the same way.

"There is always _something_ Sam." I replied trying to give him some light to hold onto. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You know when it comes down to the line we always pull something out of the bag." I added with a sad smile. Sam let his hand slip out of mine.

"You're as stubborn as him." Sam sighed as he lent back down against the top of the bed.

"We can't just give up. You're family." I whispered sadly, my eyes welling up. I darted my eyes down and pulled my emotions back in check. The room was silent, but as I looked up, Sam was listening to the voice behind me again, his face screwing up. "What's he saying now?" I asked plainly making Sam turn to me, the same frown on his face aimed at me.

"You're arms bleeding on my bed." He stated as I glanced down. As I looked I noticed a few red dots in a pattern.

"Crap! Sorry." I shot up and pulled my arm closer to me. I moved too fast, I felt dizzy from the sudden moment and had to grab hold on the end of the bed to steady myself.

"Who did that to you?" Sam asked puzzled for a second. I shook my head and let out a small sigh. The last thing Sam needed to know was that the Leviathans had been hunting me again.

"We're here for you Sam. Once you're fixed, I'll tell you all about it." I promised as I walked over and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "Just don't give up, just yet." I begged as I gave him a sad smile and walked over of the room. My heart lurched leaving him alone with his own personal Devil. He was a broken man, in more ways that one and I wasn't exactly sure how the hell to help him._ But damn it he is family, and I'll be damned if I'm not going to give it my best shot._

* * *

><p>I took a moment to collect myself. Dr Kadinsky was right, the Sam in that room wasn't the Sam I remembered. He had given in to the Devil on his shoulder. He had given into the pain and despair. He just wanted to die. He just wanted it all to end. I let out a heavy sigh as I ran a hand through my hair. This was going to be tougher than I thought. Dr Kadinsky gave me a leaflet about dealing with the situation and internally I chuckled. <em>If only there was something about dealing with this situation<em>. I gave him my thanks before heading out of the hospital and back to the cars. As I walked back I felt the heat roll through my body again. I stopped dead and clamped my eyes shut, riding it out.

"Not now. Not now." I ground out the words as I fought through the feeling, it quickly passing, with me thankfully not throwing up my guts. I got back to the cars and found Dean sat in the Impala, he was zoned out. I could feel the worry and confusion wash from him. He was hurting bad. It was killing me. I softly knocked on his window and he got back out of the car. He was exhausted and my heart was breaking seeing him so lost.

"You see him." Dean stated more than asked as his eyes drifted over to the hospital.

"Yeah, he's..." I paused and shook my head. We both knew he had given up, there was no point saying it again. "We just need to pull something out of our arses." I confidently declared as Dean turned back to me, a hint of a smile on his face.

"You got any idea where to start?" Dean asked as he lent back against the Impala. I shrugged and instantly regretted it as the pain darted down my spine. I winced at the pain and Dean noticed. "How bad did you get beat?" He frowned pushing himself off the car, moving forward to check me out - but then hesitated. We both noticed as he just stopped short, folding his arms over his chest awkwardly.

"Bad enough." I huffed rubbing my left shoulder softly. "Where do you want to start with this?" I asked changing the topic as I caught the look Dean gave me. He was hard to read at the moment but I swear I saw the worry as he looked at my cuts and bruises.

"The cabin, we hit the books." Dean grunted before turning so he was fully facing me. His expression softened as his eyes met mine. "Thanks Megan, for showing up." He added before quickly ducking into the Impala.

* * *

><p>We drove back to the cabin and I felt my stomach twist as I pulled up. I hadn't been back to the cabin since we lost Bobby. I sat in my car and wondered what Bobby would have made of us all if he could see us now. I knew exactly what Bobby would have said. <em>"You bloody idjits, what do you think you're doing splitting up! Seriously how many damn times do I have to tell you! Balls! We'll be damned if we're going to let Sam get beat by some damn day dream! Pull your fingers out of your asses and fix this!"<em> I sad smirk crossed my lips as I imagined him chewing us all out.

"God I wish you were here now Bobby..." I sighed softly to myself before getting out of my baby and walking to the boot. I went to open it with my left hand but the pain just shot through my arm into my body. "Bastard!" I growled in a deep animalistic tone. The pain was as raw as the moment the Leviathan had bit into my arm. I breathed through the pain as it dulled down slightly. I used my right hand and popped the trunk, grabbing my bags before slamming the boot down. Dean got out of the Impala as I walked over to him.

"I, um... I got the spare room ready, thought you could crash there." Dean muttered as he opened the door for the both of us. Walking past Dean into the cabin was the closest I had been to him since I walked out. My heart raced with a fixture of fear and love being so damn close to him. There was a part of me that just wanted to stop, turn and pull him into a hug. I just wanted to be held by him. _He cheated, this pain in your heart- yeah he did that. He hurt us bad, really bad. Don't fall for it all over again- idiot._ As I walked in all I could smell was Bobby, the whole cabin just smelt like Bobby. Oil, grease, books and whiskey. It was the smell of Bobby Singer, and instantly it made me feel safe. I let out a soft sigh as a smile crept onto my features. I stood there and looked around the place. It didn't look any different from when I left the last time. Books scattered out everywhere, half finished bottles of beer dotted around, notes on Leviathans, the fridge with a strange protection mark just above the handle. No this was as close to home as I had. This was safe, this made me feel safe. As I looked around my eyes landed back on Dean who was just watching me.

"Um, thanks." I softly answered and silently made my way to the spare room.

I dropped the bags on the bed and heard Dean moving around in the living area. It sounded like he was cleaning up. I smirked, realising he probably was since I was the first woman to step back in the cabin since- I frowned. _Since he cheated. Since we lost Bobby. Since everything started to fall apart. Choose your poison._

"_Hey you need anything to eat?_" Dean called out snapping me away from my thoughts.

"I'm good. I just need to freshen up then we can hit the books!" I shouted back moving to grab my first aid kit from my duffel. I grabbed a spare long sleeved top and made my way to the only bathroom in the cabin. As I walked to the bathroom I caught sight of Dean cleaning up. I smirked, shaking my head a little. _Called it._

* * *

><p>I walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, making sure I locked it. I dropped my things on the side and pulled my jacket off much to the protest of my whole upper body. I grabbed my top and pulled it over my head, letting it drop to the floor with a damp thud. I frowned as I sat on the edge of the bath and looked at the bandage. It was covered in blood. I let out a sigh as I carefully and so damn slowly peeled it off my arm. As I got closer to the skin I felt it pull.<p>

"Bastard! Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit!" I cried out as softly as I could but damn it, the pain was so bad. I managed to get the last of the bandage off and let it drop into the sink, with a sickening wet thud. I looked down at my arm. Six clear, deep marks were looking right back at me, not to mention the deep gashes the led away from them off my arm. The blood was still weeping out. The stitches I had put in did nothing to help. It was a mess. There was no two ways around it. It was a bloody mess. I grabbed a towel and started to clean off the blood. As I started to clean up the wound, the pressure I was applying made my vision double. I started to pant as I felt the heat rush through me again. Knowing what was about to happen I dropped everything and hugged the toilet as I started to throw up again. My world spinning violently off its axis, as the heat rushed through me in waves. I don't know how long I was throwing up, hell I didn't know I had that much left in side me.

"_Hey, you ok in there?_" Dean called through the door as he knocked loudly. I groaned loudly, lifting my head as everything in my vision blurred slightly. I was not doing ok.

"Yeah... just...need a minute. Honestly." I called back, hoping that Dean would buy the half arsed lie I was giving him. I felt like my body was on fire as the cool porcelain was doing next to nothing to cool me. I watched as the shadow at the bottom of the door stayed in place. Dean was still stood there. I groaned as I thought I was about to throw up again.

"_You don't sound ok. Maybe I should come in?_" Dean called through the door, as he tried the handle. My heart jumped into my throat.

"No!" I shouted with blind panic. "No, I'm naked and you can't come in!" I added as I sat up straight and shook my head until my vision returned to the singular.

"_I've seen you naked before._" Dean counted with a chuckle as I flushed the toilet. _Get it together O'Connor, Sam needs you! You haven't got time to sit on the floor and feel sorry for yourself!_

"No, just go away so I can get cleaned up." I begged as I felt so weak. I just wanted to collapse into a nice warm bed, but I had to help Dean, I had to find some way to fix Sam.

"_Fine! Just... don't take all day about it._" Dean grunted as I watched his shadow leave the door. I let out a relieved sigh as I went back to the sink and picked up the towel. The blood still staining everything in the sink.

"Come on, people are depending on you." I grunted as I started to clean up the bite the best I could.

* * *

><p>I finally got my arm cleaned up, put in new stitches and bandaged it up again. I slipped on a deep navy blue long sleeved top and cleaned up the bathroom. I caught one last glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was getting paler. <em>This is bad... maybe I should come clean... maybe I should tell Dean I'm hurt...<em>. _No. He won't let you help if you tell him! I have to help! I have to find some way to fix Sam and get away from these guys. They don't need this. I don't need them. I just... I'm just here because I can help._ I walked out of the bathroom and put my things back in the bedroom. I grabbed my laptop, tucking it under my arm, pulled my hair loose and walked into the living area. Dean was sat on the edge of the sofa going through a journal, when he heard me walk in he snapped his head up.

"I was beginning to think you'd fallen in." He joked grabbing his beer from the side and taking a sip.

"Yeah, well you can't rush perfection Dean." I half joked as I walked round and sat next to him on the sofa. I looked over everything but I could feel his eyes on me. He was studying me. I tilted my head to the side and met his breathtaking green eyes.

"You want to tell me what happened to you?" He asked frowning at me. "I heard you throwing up in the bathroom."

"Cracked ribs, bruised stomach, bust lip, god knows what else." I admitted as I looked back down at the pages laid out on the coffee table. "Took one hell of a beating, and I honestly don't know how I walked away from it." I added plainly as I realised just how lucky I was for walking away from the fight with the Leviathan. Werewolf or not, I didn't know of anything that could survive one on one with one of those bastards.

"What happened?" Dean asked leaning forward and catching my eye. I turned to face him, he was so damn keen to know. Waves of concern and worry washed over me as I felt him care about me. I gave him a small smile.

"Set up. Got jumped. My own fault." I nodded slowly, my finger rubbing against the now almost healed lip. _Don't let him fool you, sure he cares... enough to get into your pants. He doesn't love you... he cheated. He broke our heart. Don't be foolish and let him back in. Don't do it. _I let out a sigh, listening to the voice in my head. "I killed it. That's the point, right? I mean I killed it and now I'm here. So let's just... work." I nodded back to the table as Dean screwed his face up.

"No, I just... I can't just ignore the fact you look like hell." Dean snapped getting up and walking away from me. "You're hurt - pretty damn bad Megan! There is literally a handful of things that could hurt you this bad. All of them not good! I just-" Dean sighed loudly running a hand through his short hair. His locked on mine for a beat as we just looked at each other. "Are you ok?" He asked softly looking so lost and hurt, I knew half it was my fault. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head.

"I'm healing." I admitted and met his gaze again, getting to my feet. "I didn't show up to... to play happy families Dean. We're not-" I paused as I felt the sharp pain in my chest again. I pushed past the lump in my throat and the crushed look on his face. "I'm here for Sam. To fix Sam. Just like you'd show if I was hurt, or Sam would. I'm here to help, I don't- I can't have _this kind of conversation _with you Dean. We're not the same people we were the last time we stood here." I admitted as I felt the tears spring into my eyes. I fought back the lump in my throat as I looked back down to the table. I couldn't look at Dean. It felt like I was breaking into a million pieces just standing there in front of him.

"Ok," The raw emotion of his voice, it was a stab in the heart. He cleared his throat as he moved back round to me. "I've um, I've started looking through Bobby's journal, calling anyone who can help. You might wanna start searching for... something to do with the wall Death put up. Maybe we can... can rebuild it?" Dean muttered as he picked up Bobby's journal and glanced at me. I met his eyes and saw the raw pain. He was hurting as badly as I was.

"Yeah, I'll start there." I whispered, grabbing my laptop and opening it up as we both sat on the edge of the sofa in forced silence.

* * *

><p>We spent most of the day just working through the journals Bobby had. Dean sat calling up any number in the books, for anyone who could help. I sat by his side searching through all the miracle cases of people healing, trying to see if I could find some way to apply it to Sam and his situation.<br>"I'm a friend of Bobby Singer's. I'm looking for some info. If you could, uh, call me back. 785-555-0128. Thanks." Dean huffed as he crossed off a name from the list he had formed. He turned to me and I gave him a small smile.

"We will figure this out, I promise." I tried to be comforting. I wasn't sure how the hell we were meant to fix Sam. From the couple of hours of research every miracle cure I had seen had turned out to be a fake.

"I sure hope so." Dean sighed rubbing a hand over his face.

"We always end up playing a Hell Mary." I smirked as he turned to me again and nodded tiredly.

"Yeah... yeah I guess you're right." He hummed as he picked up his phone and continued to call the numbers on his list. We both continued to work for a few more hours. I had moved on from miracle cures to just plain old hoodoo that could work. I knew there had to be something, some magical way of fixing Sam. I didn't understand enough about the spell work to try and use any of it on Sam. I frowned as I moved onto the next option. I was reading about Doc Benton, some weird arse guy who cut up bodies and harvested them to prolong his own life. From the notes Sam had scribbled down he was looking into Doc Benton to discover if there was some way to save Dean from his deal that led him to Hell. Sam's notes stated that Doc Benton's methods were surprisingly scientific and would prolong life... but they wouldn't help in a case of the supernatural. I was so engrossed in Benton's work. I mean that guy had discovered the key to eternal life. I was snapped out Dean's raised voice.  
>"I am so sorry to have bothered you!" Dean snapped sarcastically before throwing his phone down and aggressively crossing out the name on his pad.<p>

"So I take it, they weren't helpful?" I asked with a smirk as Dean huffed shaking his head at his phone.

"The guy was a jerk!" He snapped scoffing as he turned to me. "Told me he only works with people he knows, and that it didn't matter if we both knew Bobby."

"Dick!" I scoffed shaking my head.

"I know!" Dean huffed getting up and walking over to the fridge.

"Least there's a couple more names to call." I pointed out as he turned to me with two beers in his hands.

"Two names. Two names left to call Megan... I mean have you even..." He let his sentence die as he walked over and passed me a beer. I huffed opening mine and taking a sip.

"I've ruled out a lot... but no." I admitted as he slumped down next to me. "But it doesn't mean we won't figure it out. Hell Mary remember." I nudged him with my right shoulder and winced a little as the dull pain ran through my back.

"Turn around." Dean huffed as he put his beer on the table.

"Excuse me?" I asked arching an eyebrow, and fighting off a smirk. I hid it behind the beer.

"I'm looking at your back. Turn around." He ordered pointing to the wall behind me. I wanted to argue. I wanted to say that it just wasn't something we did anymore, but I didn't. I was exhausted. I needed rest. I needed to heal. I needed to know I was healing. I let out a fake annoyed sigh and made a big deal of turning around.

"You know, your meant to take me out for a meal first." I muttered as I felt Dean move my top up. I felt his hands move, one holding the top up by the base of my neck as the other ghosted over my spine. I closed my eyes and held my breath as I felt butterflies in my stomach. I forgot how gentle he could be when he wanted to be. How soft and caring Dean was. How much I really loved him.

"Well maybe your a cheap date." Dean joked making me open my eyes and actually laugh.

"Says you Winchester." I bit back smirking, making Dean laugh a little too.

"These look pretty bad." Dean commented as he pushed on a tender spot. I sat up straight and huffed a little. "Looks like they're healing though." He added as he dropped my top back down. I turned to him and gave him a sleepy smile.

"Thanks Doc." I teased and met his emerald green eyes. We sat for a beat, just looking into each others eyes. _I love him. I know he loves me. But he cheated... how do I get past that? I mean can I? No! No you don't have to! He hurt you bad! No don't let him entice you back! He hurt you back Megan... this pain in your heart- all thanks to him!_ I blinked, as the pain in my heart fluttered and cleared my throat. I picked up my laptop and continuing to search for something, anything to help Sam. Dean called the next couple of names on his list. We had been working nearly all day, and it had been two days since I had got any rest, let alone sleep. But I wasn't going to stop until Dean did. We had to do this for Sam. He'd do the same of either of us in a heart beat.

"Yeah. Thanks." Dean sighed as he crossed out the last name in the journal. I watched as he picked up a smaller journal and flicked through it. He let out sigh and tossed it back onto the table. "You need another?" He asked picking up his empty beer.

"I'm good." I hummed as he got up and headed to the fridge. I got up and groaned, my whole body stiff from being in the same position for so long. I fallowed Dean over to the kitchen. "But I think I need a coffee." I admitted, hiding a yawn as I reached him. Dean turned to me and gave me a warm smile, he caught the yawn.

"You can go rest if you want to." Dean suggested as I turned on the kettle.

"You too." I nodded with a small smile. That's when I felt it._ Bobby?! Bobby are you actually here? Don't be messing with me today! Bobby?!_ I snapped up straight as my eyes darted around the room looking for him.

"Megan what can you-?" Dean started to ask when the smaller journal Dean had just been looking at, was pushed onto the floor, a card falling out of it. As soon as I sensed Bobby the feeling went and I was left feeling lost. We both looked at it and then at each other. "Did you knock the table?" Dean asked seriously as he turned to me.

"Um... no. I'm pretty sure... I didn't." I muttered as we walked over and looked at the card that fell out. Dean picked it up and looked confused. It was for Mackey's Taxidermy, as he turned it over he saw it had a number on the back of it, with _call it_ written in Bobby's handwriting.

"Should we?" Dean asked looking over to me.

"Can't hurt... right?" I asked as he hit the number into his phone.

"Yeah, hi. Uh... my name's Dean. I'm a friend of Bobby Singer's. I'm, uh, looking for some info. If you could call me back at 785-555-0128. Thanks." Dean left the message and then turned to me.

"Hell Mary?" I asked folding my arms over my chest.

"Hell Mary." Dean echoed as his eyes fell onto the card again.

* * *

><p>We had waited hours on the guy calling us back. I was laid on the sofa with my laptop resting on my stomach, Dean was sat in the chair opposite me on a laptop as well. It was around 3 in the morning and we still hadn't taken a real break from researching. I had resorted to fringe Christian websites that claimed to heal anything. Though if I was honest I was on the website because it was so damn bright with lots of flashing lights that were just keeping me awake. I was lost in the bright colours when I heard Dean shift in his seat and clear his throat.<p>

"Why did you look so surprised just before the journal fell over?" Dean asked aloud as I read the blog of a Paster from Hawaii. Apparently the good Paster knew how to save you from Satan to sunburn. He claimed he could heal anything from sunburn to a full blown case of being mute.

"Hmm?" I replied to Dean. I wasn't really paying attention, honestly I was trying to stay awake. There were little angels on the background flittering around, for some reason they caught my attention.

"Megan?" Dean spoke slightly louder as I turned to him confused. Clearly whatever he had said was important.

"Sorry, what?" I asked softly, before yawning. I scrubbed my face as I tried to focus on him and the words coming out of his mouth.

"The journal, why did you jump before it fell?" Dean asked as his green orbs drilled into mine. I shifted slightly, the intensity of his gaze could be difficult to cope with at times. He was watching me with so much concentration that I felt self conscious.

"I just... I dunno." I sighed loudly, running a hand through my hair. "I thought I sensed something... but I'm so damn tired. I don't know. I just need some sleep." I mumbled through a couple more yawns as I looked back at the screen. The angels had changed direction now.

"What did you sense?" Dean asked seriously. I glanced over my shoulder, he had put his laptop aside and was completely focused on me. He was taking it too serious, way too serious for my liking.

"I'm tired... I've been up nearly three days Dean. Forget it. Just forget it, honestly I was just...tired." I pleaded knowing that I couldn't have really picked up on Bobby. I knew it had to be me just being exhausted and beaten. I had run all the tests I could think of the first time I had felt Bobby around me and got nothing. Back then I knew it had to be because I was grief stricken, this time- it was because I was exhausted. My wolf powers just acting up because I needed a rest. _Yeah there is absolutely no way that it was Bobby... except... it damn well felt like him. It was his touch on my arm, he was here, pushing the journal on the floor. It had to be Bobby because _I felt him here._ I don't know... maybe I am exhausted. If you wanna give me another sign?_

"Please, tell me." Dean pleaded softly as I glanced at him again. There was something in his eyes. He was begging for me to say something he had thought for a while now._ Does Dean feel it too? Has he, I mean could he sense Bobby around too?_ I opened my mouth to speak when Dean's phone rang. Dean answered the phone putting it on speaker. "This is Dean." He sighed shaking his head a little.

"_Mackey. Calling you back. Hey. Real sorry about Bobby._" The guy sounded like he had a Southern accent. At the mention of Bobby, Dean darted his eyes to mine.

"Yeah, me too." Dean sighed running a hand over his face.

"_Look, what you called about – I might have something for you. There's this guy. He goes by _Emmanuel_. He kind of roams. First started hearing about him a couple of months back. How he was healing the sick, curing the crazy._" Mackey explained as I moved my laptop and sat up on the sofa, swinging my legs around.

"Uh-huh." Dean watched as I moved stiffly, my body was still sore but it was healing - thankfully.

"_Naturally, I think something in the milk ain't clean. Find this sucker, punch his clock. Right?_" Mackey asked down the line.

"Right." Dean answered plainly.

"_Heard the best way to get to him is through his wife, Daphne, out in Colorado? So, I go. Tell her I'm going blind. It's true. My right eye's burnt out. She says, _Go home. He'll come._ So, I go. I set every trap, every test in the book._" Mackey explained.

"That's what I would have done." Dean confirmed as I nodded in agreement.

"_Emmanuel shows. He passes every one. There ain't nothing weird about this guy. Except... he's the real deal._" Mackey explained sounding genuinely surprised.

"What do you mean?" Dean cried out as my mind raced trying to explain how this Emmanuelguy could be legit.

"_He touched me, and my eye was fixed. Look – I don't believe in much that don't suck your blood. But I wouldn't call you on a maybe._" Mackey explained as I locked eyes with Dean.

* * *

><p>Well it didn't take us long to pack everything up and hit the road. Dean had insisted that he was fine to drive and taking one car would have been easier than two. Honestly I was glad, it meant that I could sleep while he drove and I was looking forward to sleeping so badly. My body was healing, slower than I was used to, but healing. However my arm was still as sore as the moment that it happened but being around Dean meant that I couldn't really get a good look at it. I was almost certain that it was still bleeding though. I was curled up on the front seat next to Dean as he drove down the roads. The rain was beating down against the window in a comforting, soothing way. Dean had the radio on softly, the classic rock lulling me into a completely relaxed stated. I let out another yawn in the space of five minutes when Dean turned to me.<p>

"Get some rest. A little nap won't hurt." Dean sighed as I yawned again shaking my head.

"But what if I freak out and smash your car?" I asked through sleepy eyes. I was teasing him, but a part of me was worried I'd freak out again. The dreams of Purgatory were getting less vivid, but there was still times I woke smashing up the first thing I got my hands on.

"You never used to freak out around me." Dean pointed out as he turned his eyes to the road. I looked up and watched Dean as he drove. _There is definitely something about Dean Winchester. An undeniable quality. I know he'd always have my back in a fight. Always be here when I need him. But... he cheated, this pain my heart isn't even fading being around him. I don't think it ever will. I just..._ I let out a heavy sigh as I pushed the hair off my face. I was exhausted and over analysing the situation. "Sleep." He offered softly. I let out another yawn as balled up my jacket, using it as a pillow. I closed my eyes and felt myself drift quickly into a deep sleep.

_It was dark, I was alone. It was Purgatory. I'd recognise this place anywhere. My heart started to race in my chest as I looked around the empty darkness that seemed to go on forever. "I'm not afraid anymore! You hear me?!" I shouted out into the darkness, my hands clenched in fists as I prepared myself for another life or death fight. I heard the scraping of claws and feet rush past me. My tried my best not to jump as I slowly walked round in a small circle. I couldn't see anything. I took a deep breath in and I couldn't smell anyone either. "Chicken shit!" I called out into the darkness waiting for them to attack me._

"_They're not the monster this time." I turned to find someone stood there in front of me._

"_Dean?" I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't understand why he was in Purgatory with me._

"_The one and only honey." He chuckled as he stuffed his hands into his jacket._

"_What.. you aren't real. You've never been here." I shook my head as I thought I was looking at a shifter._

"_It's me." He shrugged as he glanced to the ground before looking back at me. "I'm the monster here."_

"_Monster?" I shook my head utterly confused._

"_You know, I've done some pretty stupid things in my life." Dean stated with a sarcastic chuckle. "But cheating on you. That's going to take some topping."_

"_I'm not having this conversation with you- when you're not really you!" I cried out, shaking my head before turning and walking away from him._

"_I didn't even think about you." Dean called out as I walked away. "I didn't think about anything. I just wanted this pain from Bobby to go away." He added as I felt the stabbing pain in my chest. It was the same feeling I got whenever I thought about Dean cheating on me._

"_You're not really him!" I cried out as I stopped, but I refused to look at him._

"_I get everyone I love killed. Mom, Dad, Sammy, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Cass... you." Dean said when I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart with a silver blade. I cried out in pain as I dropped to my knees clutching my chest._

"_You're not really him!" I screamed out as the tears fell from my eyes. The fire burnt through my heart and down into my veins. My whole body felt like it was on fire. "You're not my Dean!"_

"_But this is what you're expecting him to say to you." Dean walked over to me, dropping to his knees in front of me._

"_You did this to me." I cried out, gasping as the pain double. "I love you." I wept out as the fire burst to a new level of pain._

"_I love you too." Dean admitted as he took my face in his hands. He pulled my face closer to his and rubbed my tears away with his thumbs. "It's always been you." He whispered against my lips before kissing me softly. As soon as our lips touched the pain disappeared, for the first time in months the pain was gone._

"_Why did you hurt me so bad?" I asked as we pulled apart. His emerald green eyes locked on my own. He opened his mouth to answer, my breath catching in my throat as I waited on the real reason he hurt me._

* * *

><p>"Hey, sleeping beauty, we're nearly here." Dean slapped my leg as I let out a small groan. I rubbed my eyes as I shifted in the seat.<p>

"Damn it." I groaned, knowing that there was only one way I was going to get that answer and it was talking to Dean about it. _I need to talk to him... After we fix Sam, I'll make him talk to me about it all. I'll get that answer. I'll end all this pain in my chest._

"What's the matter? Pull you away from a _good_ dream?" Dean asked with a mischievous wink.

"I wish." I muttered as I stretched and actually felt better. Most of my body felt like it had nearly healed. That was until I moved my left arm. It was still so damn tender. I knew once we found Emmanuel I was going to have to excuse myself to the wash room to get a look at it. We pulled up to the address that Mackey gave us. The house looked normal, on a normal street. Nothing giving off the kind of vibes I would have expected. Everything was just so _normal._ We climbed out of the Impala and I turned to Dean cocking an eyebrow.

"You sure you got the right address?" I asked turning back to the house. It was a nice two story pastel blue and white house.

"Yeah, what did you expect? A neon sign and flashing lights? This isn't Vegas." Dean teased as I rolled my eyes.

"Jackass, look I just thought Emmanuel would live in a church or something. I don't know." I shrugged confused. I noticed there wasn't any pain and a smile crossed my lips. _Least I got that going for me._

"I see you're feeling better." Dean beamed at me as I smirked back.

"Just needed a good nights sleep." I replied before looking back at the house. "Come on, let's just knock." I huffed shaking my head as we walked up the stairs. Dean took the steps in threes and reached the door before me. He knocked on the door as a man opened almost instantly.  
>"Hi. Uh, is this, uh, Daphne Allen's house? I'm looking for Emmanuel." Dean asked as the man looked normal enough, paste colour clothes and nothing that screamed supernatural to me at least.<p>

"Well, you found him. Daphne's resting. If you don't mind." Emmanuel explained in a soft voice. Dean turned back to me before answering the guy.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Dean answered as I reached the top of the porch. Dean back up, making me back up a little as Emmanuel walked out and closed the door behind him.  
>"Um… So, I was hoping, uh…" Dean started to say when I smelt sulphur. I glanced and Dean was looking at someone through the window. I fallowed his gaze and saw a woman tied to a chair gagged.<p>

"Demon!" I cried out as Emmanuel blinked exposing black eyes, grabbing Dean and slamming hard into the door. He turned to me, grabbing a handful of my top and throwing me into the wall next to Dean. I fell with all my weight onto my left arm. I screwed my face up, to stop from screaming. I instantly felt sweaty and dizzy as I started to pant through the pain. _Damn it and my morning was going so well! Shit get it together. There's danger. Keep alert!_

"You were saying, Dean?" The demon asked smugly. Thankfully Dean was too occupied with the demon to notice that I was nearly in tears over the pain in my arm. It felt exactly the same as when the Leviathan had bitten into me. A scorching pain radiated from my left arm and seemed to be pulsing up through my body.

"You know, I'd think twice. Or don't you know that your boss issued a hands-off memo?" Dean snapped back, glaring at the demon.

"Please," The demon laughed in his face. "What have you done for him lately? Roman's head on a plate? No? Whatever Emmanuel is, Crowley's gonna want him – a lot more than he wants you these days. So..." The demon started to stalk towards us. As he moved Dean pulled out his knife and stabbed the demon. He used the knife to help guide the demon to the stop of the stairs where he pulled out the blade and let the demon fall dead to the bottom of the stairs. I noticed Dean freeze but I couldn't see why.

"Dean?" I called out to him, as I wobbled to his side. I saw exactly why he froze. Stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at us lost, was a Cass look-a-like. I mean this guy looked exactly like Cass.  
>"What was that?" The Cass-a-like asked looking up at us still lost, with the exact same voice as Cass.<p>

* * *

><p>The Cass-a-like let us into his house as he went to untie the woman. Dean started to pace a little as I slumped against a wall. I was still in so much pain from the shove the demon gave me. The throbbing was turning into a pounding at the base of my neck. I felt like I was going to burst into flames with how hot I was feeling. But I was trying my best too keep it hidden. <em>Now isn't the time to freak everyone out with your weird arse bite. Now is the time to hold it together! <em>I looked up, and Dean was watching the Cass-a-like as if he was stalking a monster. I could feel the surprise and confusion roll of him. All I could feel from the other two was fear. I couldn't understand it. He looked like Cass, sounded like Cass... But Cass died. I kind of remembered that. I was lent against the wall, but I could feel the sweat beading on my forehead. I hoped that was the only thing giving me away.

"That creature hurt you." The Cass-a-like said, untying the woman who I took to be Daphne.

"I'm okay. But, Emmanuel... They were looking for you." Daphne explained looking at our Cass-a-like.

"It's okay." The Cass-a-like/Emmanuel said to Daphne before turning to the pair of us. "I'm Emmanuel." He introduced himself to the pair of us. Dean shook Emmanuel's hand as I offered him a small smile. It was about as much as I could muster without showing how hurt I was.

"Dean. I'm...Dean." Dean explained just staring at Emmanuel in disbelief.

"I'm Megan." I explained, snapping Dean from his thoughts as he glanced over his shoulder to me. He instantly picked up I wasn't one hundred per cent. Dean frowned and I shook my head ever so slightly to tell him to leave it for now.

"Thank you for protecting my wife." Emmanuel said pulling Dean from his gaze on me.

"Your wife. Right." Dean nodded as he glanced at Daphne still with the same disbelief plastered on his face.

"I saw his face. His _real _face." Emmanuel explained shaking his head a little, he looked haunted by what he saw.

"He was a demon." I explained softly, cradling my arm to my chest.

"A demon walked the Earth." Emmanuel said softly, more to himself than us.

"_Demons. _Whackloads of them. You don't know about...?" Dean asked as both and me shared a glance. _Cass wouldn't be haunted... he knows what demons looks like. He's not acting like Jimmy either... Who is this guy?_

"You saw the demon's true face." Daphne explained to Emmanuel before turning to us. "Emmanuel has very special gifts." She added to the pair of us. I felt another burst of heat work its way through my body violently.

"Yeah. We-We've heard that about... Emmanuel. That you can heal people up." Dean said with a small nod as I felt the world spin. Everything split into double as I felt the bile rise in my throat. My whole body was on fire and the fire started in my arm.

"I seem to be able to help to a certain degree. What's your issue?" Emmanuel asked Dean.

"My brother." Dean stated plainly.

"Oh my... is that... blood?!" Daphne almost screamed as everyone turned to me. I looked down and the left sleeve of my navy top and the dripping blood. My blood. I felt my legs go weak and I crumpled into the floor. "Megan!" Dean cried out as all three came around me.

"Is she hurt?" Daphne asked worried. "What happened to her?!" She added as her gaze fixed on my left arm. Sure enough a small river of blood was running out of my sleeve. My head lolled back against the wall as I felt like I was about to pass out. I felt cool hands on my face as I started to loose feeling in my body.

"Megan, stay with me ok? I need to look at the arm." Dean said, but his voice sounded like he was underwater. I felt him move me, pulling up the sleeve. I heard Daphne gasp as I saw red on my left arm, just a big block of red where the bandage should have been. I couldn't work out where my bandage had gone. My brain wouldn't work right. Nothing was making sense.

"Daphne perhaps you shouldn't see this." Emmanuel suggested as she moved out of the way. I watched as she went pale and moved into the kitchen. Emmanuel gave me a comforting smile as I blinked to try and bring everything into focus.

"What the hell?" Dean cried out as he started to take off the red block. I cried out in pain as it tugged against my skin. "Sorry." Dean hummed as he pulled back the last part. My head dropped to my chest as I thought I was about to pass out at any moment.

"Allow me." Emmanuel said from the side of Dean. I didn't hear much else as I passed out from the raw pain in my arm.

* * *

><p>I snapped my eyes open as I took a deep gasp. I couldn't get the air into my lungs fast enough. Seconds later Cass and Dean were clear in my vision.<p>

"Megan? Megan are you ok?" Dean asked looking terrified, he was holding me as I looked around where I was.

"I don't understand." Cass said confused from the side of me. I looked and I was still slumped against the wall in Emmanuel's house, I let out a sigh as I looked down at my arm. The cut had stopped bleeding, for the first time in four days it had stopped bleeding.

"I feel rough." I groaned as Dean helped me to my feet. I wobbled but he wrapped an arm around me to steady me.

"I got you." He hummed into my ear as he pressed a soft kiss on my head. "Just don't scare me like that again." He added as he sat me down on the chair.

"I don't understand. Usually I can heal physical wounds." Emmanuel muttered as he shook his head. I sat for a second as the cotton wool feeling cleared from my head.

"It's not natural." I blurted out as Daphne appeared with a glass of water for me. I nodded a thanks and took a quick sip of it.

"Then what it is?" Emmanuel asked as I felt Dean's eyes on me too. I turned and looked up at Dean knowing he would be the only one who would understand what I was about to say.

"Leviathan." I answered looking at Dean before turning my attention back to Emmanuel and Daphne. "I just need to bandage it, then I'm good to hit the road." I explained softly, rolling my head on my shoulders. I actually felt better than I had since the attack.

"Leviathan?!" Dean snapped at the side of me. His rage was instant.

"I'll go get some bandages." Daphne almost whispered as she disappeared back into the kitchen.

"What is a Leviathan?" Emmanuel asked confused. "Is it like a demon?" He asked looking between me and Dean.

"Kinda. Got a nasty bite to it." I answered Emmanuel as I felt the rage pour our of Dean. His rage was feeding my wolf side, I could feel her stir at the tension in the room. I slowly turned my head to him and let out my breath slowly. "Might wanna rain that back in, unless you what to explain more _creatures _to Emmanuel." I muttered rubbing my temples.

"A Leviathan?! When were you planning on tell me you got bit by a freaking Leviathan?!" Dean snapped as he stormed into my face. He was so angry, but behind the anger I was the fear of loosing yet another person.

"After Sam." I answered meeting his death glare with my own equally annoyed glare.

"I think I should help Daphne." Emmanuel muttered softly, leaving the pair of us glaring at each other.

"After Sam?! If it wasn't for Emmanuel you would have been dead!" Dean scoffed shaking his head and walking away. "How long have you been bit?!" He snapped.

"Four days." I answered standing up and glaring back at Dean. "Four days. But I haven't had time to really fix it since I've been helping you! You know that Hell Mary you've been looking for!"

"You should have told me!" Dean snapped as he stormed right into my face again. He was so close to me that I felt the heat of his rage roll if him. The rage fed into my own anger, the pain in my heart snapping within me.

"Why?!" I snapped back, glaring into his face. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to scream in his face and destroy him. I was so angry at him.

"You could have died!" Dean growled as I felt the wolf side of my stir again.

"Like you'd care!" I snapped back without thinking. I saw Dean's eyes widen in shock as he took a step back.

"I care about you damn it! I still- I care!" Dean growled in my face.

"Really?" I scoffed sarcastically shaking my head.

"Really!" Dean snapped back, but my mouth worked before my brain could kick in.

"You stopped caring about me months ago when you slept with that- _woman_." I hissed as I saw Daphne and Emmanuel awkwardly walk back into the room. Dean stood there his mouth gaping open as I just glared up at him with the rage I was feeling deep inside for months.

* * *

><p>Daphne helped me stitch and bandage up the bite mark. Six very obvious puncture marks were clear to see but the skin was starting to knit back together. My arm stung like a bitch but thankfully it was healing. Whatever Emmanuel had done to me, kick started my own healing ability. I couldn't even look at Dean, I hadn't meant to say what I did. But deep down I did mean it. He wouldn't even look back at me either. We asked Emmanuel to come help us fix Sam. He agreed but seemed to feel awkward around the pair of us. I couldn't blame him, after all we did have a fight right in front of him and his um <em>wife<em>.

I was laid out in the back of the Impala, my jacket propping my head up as Emmanuel sat up front with Dean. We had been driving a few hours in relative silence when Dean cleared his throat and glance over to Emmanuel.  
>"So, Daphne – is that, uh, your wife?" He asked carefully.<p>

"She found me and cared for me." Emmanuel explained with a warm smile.

"Meaning?" Dean asked confused as I sat up a little so I could hear him better.

"Oh, it's a...strange story. You may not like it." Emmanuel frowned as he glanced at Dean and noticed me sat up in the back.

"Believe me, I will." Dean answered with a small smile and I couldn't help but smile. I knew Dean still cared about Cass, even if we weren't sat with the real Cass this guy as close enough. It was good to know that he hadn't just died.

"A few months ago, she was hiking by the river, and I wandered into her path, drenched and confused, and..." Emmanuel turned and I swear I saw a blush in his cheeks as he shifted uncomfortable. Dean caught his eye as he looked back forward. "Um...unclothed. I had no memory. She said... God wanted her to find me." He finished his explanation and I couldn't help but smile.

"Who named you Emmanuel?" I asked softly as Dean glanced at me in the rear view mirror. I gave him a sad smile, he nodded a little and glanced to Emmanuel.

"Bouncy baby names dot com." Emmanuel explained and I smirked shaking my head a little.

"Well, it's working for you. Must be weird not knowing who you are." Dean pondered as he took another glance at Emmanuel.

"Well, it's my life. And it's a good life." Emmaunel stated, content with how his life was turning out.

"Yeah, well, what if you were some kind of... I don't know...bad guy?" Dean asked seriously as I caught his eye and shook my head. Dean shrugged his shoulders plainly.

"Oh, I... don't feel like a bad person." He stated as the car fell back into a silence.

* * *

><p>We must have been driving another hour or so before Emmanuel turned to look at me in the back seat. I was just laid out, looking at stuff on my phone. I rested my phone on my stomach as I turned to him and gave him a small smile.<p>

"You do not seem the same as anyone I have met." He stated with a frown.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked as I sat up and frowned a little.

"She doesn't look like you." Emmanuel said.

"It's because she's British, they're all a little paler than us." Dean joked as I rolled my eyes at him.

"No. She has a glow, it's different to you or Daphne. It's difficult to explain." Emmanuel stated with a frown as he turned back to face me again. "Are you, human?"

"Yeah, yes of course I am." I answered shaking my head. "Why, why wouldn't I be?" I scoffed. He just nodded, but he didn't look convinced.

"Are the pair of you married?" Emmanuel suddenly asked, changing the topic.

"Yes." "No." We both answered at the same time. I caught Dean's eye in the rear view mirror and sighed.

"No, we're not." I repeated my answer as Dean let out a grunt.

"But you were. I mean the tension between the pair of you is noticeable. Daphne assures me that, this level of tension only happens once the pair have seen each other naked and things have deteriorated between them." Emmanuel stated as if he was a world class authority on these things. Both me and Dean shifted awkwardly in our seats as Dean cleared his throat and turned to Emmanuel.

"Things are complicated between the pair of us. But Megan is one of the best damn people I know, she's family in everything but blood." Dean stated as a smile crossed my lips.

"And I'm here to help Dean and his brother through this." I added as I caught Deans eye again and gave him a warm smile. I knew I'd always come running if one of the Winchesters needed help, it was nice to know that Dean saw me as family too. As I looked into Dean's green eyes I felt the stab of pain in my heart again. _I still love him... and he broke my heart. I still care and damn it, this pain in my heart doesn't seem to be getting any better._

"So, your brother..." Emmanuel broke me from my thought as I turned to him.

"Sam." Dean prompted him.

"Sam. What's his diagnosis?" Emmanuel asked plainly.

"Well, it's not exactly medical." Dean sighed loudly.

"That should be fine. I can cure illness of a spiritual origin." Emmanuel explained with a small nod.

"Spiritual? Okay. Someone did this to him." Dean scoffed as he gripped the wheel tighter. I felt the wave of anger roll off him. I sat back in my seat as if I could escape the anger.

"You're angry." Emmanuel stated, slightly confused.

"Well, yeah. Dude broke my brother's head." Dean grunted shaking his head.

"He betrayed you, this dude. He was your friend?" Emmanuel asked as I held my breath. Dean turned to Emmanuel and studied him.

"Yeah, well, he's gone." Dean stated as he looked away from Emmanuel.

"Did you kill him? I sense that you kill a lot of people." Emmanuel asked shifting a little away from Dean. I smirked a little at his actions, shaking my head softly.

"Honestly, I-I-I don't know if he is dead. I just know that this... whole thing couldn't be messier. You know, I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know, whatever it was. It might take me some time, but... I always could. What Cass did... I just can't – I don't know why." Dean opened up to Emmanuel and I sat there in shock. I knew Dean found it hard, but hearing him talk to Emmanuel like that I felt so bad for him. I had never realised how badly Castiel betrayal had effected Dean.

"Well, it doesn't matter why." Emmanuel offered making Dean look at him like he was crazy.

"Of course it matters." Dean snapped back, taking a quick glance at Emmanuel.

"No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human. Your friend's name was Cass? That's an odd name." Emmanuel said as I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped my lips. Both men turned to me slightly confused.

"Emmanuel, and you think Cass is strange?" I smirked shaking my head as the pair said nothing. "Just me then..." I hummed as I sat back in the seat.

* * *

><p>It was day time when Dean pulled the Impala over and turned to us. He gave me a quick look before he turned to Emmanuel. "Oh, hey, hey. Just, uh, sit tight. I'll be right out, ok? Megan's gonna stay here with you, ok?" Dean said as he got out of the car and crossed the road to the convenience store.<p>

"How's your arm?" Emmanuel asked turning to face me. I pulled up my sleeve and looked at the white bandage. My arm hurt, but no where as bad as it was before I passed out in Emmanuel's house.

"A lot better, thank you." I beamed as I met his gaze.

"Were you friends with this _Cass_ as well?" Emmanuel asked looking slightly troubled.

"Yeah, yeah I was." I admitted sadly. "He was a good man, he just made a few of the wrong choices. I know in his heart he meant well." I added with a small smile.

"But he broke Dean's brothers head. How can that be for the right reasons?" Emmanuel asked still confused by it all.

"Cass was... he wanted to help as many people as he could. He thought he had the best way to do it. He wanted Dean to trust him... Cass had the wrong plan, but we couldn't make him see sense. It was messy and complicated but I still don't blame Cass for any of it." I answered, thinking back to the moment I gave him my soul. _I trusted Cass then, and I trust him now. Even if he is going by Emmanuel..._

"You know Dean is in love with you, right?" He asked bluntly as I cleared my throat, hiding my wide eyes.

"Like the man said, it's complicated." I shrugged as I glance in the direction of the convenience store.

"But you love him too, am I correct?" Emmanuel asked as I met his baby blues again. I let out a heavy sigh as I ran a hand through my hair.

"I... it's not easy. I, um, I,I, um... do. But..." I glance in the direction of the convenience store and heard fighting. I snapped my eyes back to Emmanuel and shot him a warm smile. "Hey I need to check on Dean. I need you to stay in the car ok, don't unlock the door until you see us coming back."

"Why? What's happening?" Emmanuel asked slightly distressed as I checked I had my gun and family knife.

"Nothing, I just um I need to go..." I mumbled as I got out the car. Emmanuel locked the doors after me and I strolled over, keeping my eyes out for anything that could be a threat. As I reached the door I saw Dean moving the sign the other side of the door. He opened the door for me and I walked in. I could smell demon blood as soon as I walked in. _Damn it, they're fallowing us. Super._

"You ok?" I asked softly as he turned the sign round to _closed_ and pulled the blind down.

"Yeah I'm fine. My phone's bust though." Dean muttered locking the door. As I turned I saw the store was a mess and stood with Dean's knife Meg. I let out a heavy sigh as my eyes landed on her.

"Awesome." I huffed sarcastically as Dean nodded a little.

"Megan, it's been awhile." She beamed at me as I rolled my eyes.

"And yet, not long enough." I replied shaking my head.

"Meg, cut the crap." Dean huffed shaking his head.

"Rumours are really starting to fly about this Emmanuel fellow. My curiosity sure got revved up." Meg shrugged as she looked at the pair of us.

"Just tell us what you want, Meg." Dean huffed as he shook his head.

"Imagine my surprise when I track him down, and he's snuggled up with _you. _And he's the spitting image of poor, dead Castiel. So, Dean, what's poor, dead Castiel doing in that junker out there?" Meg asked looking straight at Dean.

"Christmas carolling." Dean replied sarcastically as he glanced at me.

"Fun. But how's he alive? Last I heard, he played God, went poof." Meg replied glancing at me as if I knew how the hell Cass was up and walking.

"I don't know. And neither does he, so you got to keep it shut." Dean snapped pointing a finger at Meg.

"Oh, I do?" Meg asked innocently, but there was a threat in her voice.

"He doesn't know he's Cass." I pointed out, giving her a small glare.

"I know. Been watching you for hours. So here's the deal. You might remember Crowley and me were frosty back in the day? Well, times haven't changed." Meg stated plainly with a small shrug.

"Good." Dean answered making me smirk a little too.

"That hurts my feelings. I've been good to you, Dean." Meg purred as she looked over to Dean.

"No, you've been good to _you, _sweetheart." Dean replied before turning away from her and looking at something on the shelf.

"Look. Right now rumours of this wandering healer are strictly low-level. But body counts getting high enough to change that. Folks start poking, they sniff angel dust." Meg pointed out as Dean started to stuff food into his jacket.

"Meaning?" I asked, knowing all too well what it meant.

"They start falling all over each other trying to tell Crowley." Dean answered as he turned back to face the pair of us.

"Now picture Crowley with his hands on harmless little amnesia-Cass. Don't get me wrong. I'm gonna burn that smarmy dick. My time's coming. But right about now, my army-of-one situation is not cutting it. It's cold out here, there's a price on my ass, and I need friends." Meg explained her eyes darting from me to Dean.

"My heart bleeds... oh wait, it really doesn't." I replied folding my arms over my chest as Meg glared at me. I heard Dean let out a small chuckle.

"Yeah. Look we get that. But we ain't it." Dean added as she almost pouted at him.

"That's where you're wrong, Dean. 'Cause I'm here to help you, and that makes us friends." Meg pointed out with a small smile.

"I doubt that." I muttered as I watched her carefully.

"Help, huh? You mean see if you can't turn harmless little Cass out there into an angel-sized weapon?" Dean pointed out scoffing and shaking his head.

"Like you're taking him carolling. And by the way, you really want to keep going with no backup?" Meg asked plainly as I tensed up.

"Hello, hi yeah, still in the room." I huffed waving a hand in the air.

"That arm of yours any better?" Meg asked looking me dead in the eye. I felt an anger build in me as I looked at Meg. I just wanted to rip her head off. I hated the bitch.

"We could always find out." I smirked as I felt the wolf side of me stir again. I cocked an eyebrow as Meg tilted her head to one side.

"Please, lets." Meg beamed back at me, the threat thinly hidden in her voice.

"Hey! Enough! Both of you!" Dean snapped looking at the pair of us. I kept my eyes locked on Meg, just waiting for her to make the wrong move so I could take her out.

"I know little Megan's all banged up right now. A Leviathan bite too, that's going to take a while to heal- if you survive." She added smirking at me as I balled up my good hand. She turned to Dean and continued talking. "You know, you're going to need someone fighting fit to do the heavy lifting on this Dean. Hey, I don't trust you, either. But I could really use Emmanuel. And he trusts you. So for now, it's in everyone's best interests to hold hands and cross the street together, okay?" Meg suggested as she looked at me, then slowly turned her attention to Dean. Dean glanced at me, and I could see that he was thinking about working with her.

"Really?! Oh come on Dean!" I huffed shaking my head as a smile crossed Meg's lips. "Shut it!" I snapped as Meg opened her mouth.

"We go straight to Sam. No detours." Dean barked looking straight at Meg.

"I love it." Meg purred like the cat who got the cream.

"And one more thing. My knife." Dean held his hand out as Meg passed him the bloody knife.

"You sure we wouldn't be safer travelling with a full-throttle angel? I could jog his memory." Meg offered as Dean gave her a warning glare. "Kidding! We wouldn't want to upset the poor guy." She added as we all walked out of the store. We walked out of the store and as we walked over to the Impala Emmanuel noticed us, climbing out to greet us. As soon as his eyes landed on Meg he got the same distressed look he had when we first met him.

"Her face! She's one of-" Emmanuel cried out as Dean stood between the pair.

"It's okay. We come in different flavours." Meg purred as she looked Emmanuel up and down. He turned to me and Dean for reassurance.  
>"She's, uh... a friend." Dean muttered rolling his eyes.<p>

"Meg. Just here for moral support. I mean, after all, we go way back." She paused looking dead into Emmanuel's eyes. Both me and Dean shot Meg a glare. "Dean and me. Just met you, of course. But I think we're gonna be good friends, too." She added with a smirk. I turned to Dean and cocked an eyebrow. I knew this was a bad idea, having Meg anywhere near Cass/Emmanuel was going to end badly. Dean let out a heavy sigh shrugging his shoulder as if to say what could he do.

"All right. Can we go?" Dean asked shaking his head as we all piled back into the car.

* * *

><p>We drove most of the night to get to the hospital. Dean sat up front with Emmanuel as me and Meg sat in the back. Both Dean and Meg were studying Emmanuel with quick glances and sly looks. They were both probably wondering the same thing I was. <em>How the hell is Cass alive?<em>

"This silence is very uncomfortable. Is there something I should know?" Emmanuel spoke up a couple of hours into our drive.

"I don't know. Dean?" Meg purred turning from Emmanuel to Dean.

"Meg." I growled in a warning tone as she simply shrugged at me.

"No. Meg has that effect. Awkward. You know?" Dean replied, giving her a glare of his own in the rear view mirror.

"That must be difficult for you." Emmanuel said turning to look at me and Meg in the back.

"Dean's making a joke, Emmanuel." Meg said dryly as she sighed.

"Oh." Emmanuel sighed as Dean turned the engine off. We all climbed out of the car and looked around the hospital. There were a group of people just stood around outside.

"Oh, gracious." Emmanuel said shocked. All those _people_ were demons I could smell them a mile off.

"Damn it. Demons." Meg huffed as I shook my head.

"All of them?" Dean asked as he looked through some binoculars.

"No grass growing under _your _feet." Meg teased as let out a sigh.

"Could be interesting..." I hummed looking out at the crowd of demons waiting for us.

"How many of those knives do you have?" Emmanuel asked looking to Dean for guidance.

"I have one, and Megan's got one." Dean answered running a hand over his jaw.

"Won't be enough." Meg sang out by the side of me. I hated to admit it but I agreed with her. It wasn't enough, not with my bust up arm.

"Well, then, forgive me, but what do we do?" Emmanuel asked looking at all three of us lost.

"Yeah, Dean. Got any other ideas how we could blast through that?" Meg asked dropping about as big a hint as you could get. Dean groaned looking at me and Meg before turning his attention to Emmanuel.

"Excuse us." Dean said to Emmanuel before walking away. "Meg?" He barked her name.

"Oh, for the love of..." Meg sighed as I fallowed her.

"You had to open that mouth of yours." I huffed as we walked away from Emmanuel.

"Sam's in there. I know you're enjoying the double dip with your old pal, but-" Meg started to say as she lent on the Impala's boot.

"You think it's that cut and dry? Really? You know what he did. And you want to tell him and just hope that he takes it in stride? He could snap. He could... disappear. Who knows?" Dean scoffed shaking his head.

"Um Dean?" I spoke up, looking over his shoulder where Emmanuel stood.

"I gather we know each other." Emmanuel stated as Dean turned to face him.

"Just a dollop." Meg answered as I rolled my eyes.

"You can tell me. I'll be fine." Emmanuel stated looking straight to Dean.

"How do you know? You just met yourself. I've known you for years." Dean barked shaking his head.

"Dean, maybe we should?" I nodded towards Emmanuel.

"No! No I won't be the one-" Dean shook his head as he talked to me.

"You're an angel." Meg blurted out as we both turned to her wide eyed.

"I'm sorry? Is that a flirtation?" Emmanuel asked confused as he looked from Meg to the pair of us.

"No, it's a species. A very powerful one." Meg explained plainly. Emmanuel looked to me and Dean to confirm what she was saying. I just shrugged feeling lost for words.

"She's not lying. Okay? That's why you heal people. You don't eat. I'm sure there's more." Dean huffed waving a hand at Emmanuel.

"Why wouldn't you tell me? Being an angel – it sounds pleasant." Emmanuel said with a small smile on his lips.

"It's not, trust me. It's bloody, it's corrupt. It's not pleasant." Dean barked shaking his head as he looked at Emmanuel.

"He would know. You used to fight together. Bestest friends, actually." Meg purred as I turned to her with wide eyes.

"Not helping Meg." I grunted as Emmanuel looked utterly shocked to Dean.

"We're... friends? Am I Cass? I-I had no idea. I don't remember you. I'm sorry." Emmanuel back tracked trying to make up for things that he just didn't remember.

"Look. You got the juice. You can smite every demon in that lot." Meg pointed out as she nodded to the demons waiting for us.

"But I don't remember how." Emmanuel stated as he glanced over his shoulder to the demons.

"It's in there. I'm sure it's just like riding a bike." Dean offered putting a hand on Emmanuel's shoulder.

"I don't know how to do that, either." Emmanuel explained and I couldn't help the smirk on my face as Dean let out a heavy sigh. Emmanuel looked from the demons back to us. "All right, I'll try." He said as he just walked down the hill towards the demons.

"This ain't gonna go well." Dean sighed running a hand over his face.

"Hell Mary, remember." I whispered, nudging Dean a little. He looked at me and we shared a small smile.

"I don't know. I believe in the little tree topper." Meg hummed from the side of me as we watched Emmanuel walk up to the first demon. We watched as Emmanuel – no- Cass worked through the crowd of demons smiting them left and right. He clearly remembered how to do it. He was cutting them down like daisies. As the last demon fell we walked over to Cass.

"That was beautiful, Clarence." Meg purred as Cass just stood with his back to us.

"Cass?" Dean asked softly we were all hoping that Cass was back.

"I remember you. Both of you." Castiel said before turning and looking at me and Dean. His eyes landed on Dean and I swear I almost felt guilt washing off him. "I remember everything."

"Cass." I sighed out his name and gave him a sad smile.

"What I did. What I became. Why didn't you tell me?" Cass asked looking at Dean for answers.

"Because Sam is dying in there!" Dean snapped pointing to the hospital behind Castiel.

"Because of me. Everything. All these people. I shouldn't be here." Cass shook his head as he started to walk away.

"Cass. Cass!" Dean called out after Cass before turning to Meg. "You stay here!" He barked to her calling his name as he walked after Castiel.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Clarence is back in the building." Meg purred as we watched the pair walk away and talk to each other.

"You knew he'd do this. Want to leave as soon as he knew who he was." I stated turning to Meg.

"He's doing what anyone with a soul would do." She said as we just stood side by side watching them.

"He'll help Sam." I nodded as Dean moved to the boot of the Impala.

"He'll take off after that though." Meg added as I saw Dean pull out Castiel's trench coat from the boot of his car. I had no idea he had been holding onto the coat for so long. In that moment I realised just how badly Castiel's death had really effected Dean. It was like he had lost a brother.

* * *

><p>Needless to say the coat did the trick. Cass cleared the hospital and we found Sam. Cass had tried to heal him when he first found him but something had happened. He brought Sam back to his room. I was stood at the foot of the bed, watching as Sam listened to someone sat in the empty chair next to him. Dean and Cass were stood just behind me, both of them watching Sam as well as the lent against the wall.<br>"What the hell do you mean you _can't?_" Dean whispered harshly.

"I mean there's nothing left to rebuild." Cass answered as I turned to face the pair.

"Why not?" Dean demanded, shooting a glance to me.

"Because it crumbled. The pieces got crushed to dust by whatever is happening inside his head right now." Castiel explained looking as emotion as a house plant.

"So you're saying there's nothing? That he's gonna be like this until his candle blows out?" Dean snapped, he was trying to keep his voice down so that he didn't startle Sam. But the anger rolling off him was breathtaking. I had to stay by the edge of the bed so that I didn't wolf out on everyone.

"I'm sorry. This isn't a problem I can make disappear. And you know that." Castiel explained as he turned and studied Sam. "But I may be able to shift it." He added thoughtfully.

"Shift?" Dean asked confused as Castiel nodded.

"Yeah, it would get Sam back on his feet." Cass said walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed, near me. "It's better this way. I'll be fine." Cass muttered as he glanced over his shoulder to Dean. Sam flinched away from Cass as if he was acid.

"Wait, Cass, what are you doing?" Dean asked pushing himself away from the wall.

"Cass?" I asked from the edge of the bed.

"Now, Sam this may hurt. And if I can't tell you again I'm sorry I ever did this to you." Cass said softly as he put his hand on Sam's head. I watched as Sam groaned, a red glow coming from his eyes and face travelled into Castiel's hand and up his arm into his head. Castiel's eyes glowed red for a beat as Sam groaned some more before gasping for air.

"Sam?" Dean asked moving towards Sam.

"Cass?" I hummed softly, I moved to bob down in front of Cass. He wasn't looking at me, he seemed, well like Sam had been when I first visited him in the hospital.

"Dean!" Sam cried out as Dean reached him, the relief washing over him.

"Sam!" Dean cried out so happy that he had his brother back.

"Cass? Cass, is that you?" Sam asked as Cass turned his head to Sam. I don't know what he saw but he pushed me away, running away from the bed. His back crashed into the wall as he covered his eyes and slumped down onto the ground.

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><p>Sam was, well Sam again. Cass had taken on the case of the crazies and seemed to settle into his new home. Dean said we had to leave him there, that it was the best thing for him now. We all walked out of the hospital, and I couldn't help but feel guilty leaving him there.<p>

"I don't know. I mean, we can't just leave him." Sam said as we walked over to the car.

"Yeah, it's pretty crappy." I added walking side by side with Sam.

"Well, we can't bring him with us. Everything on the planet's out for us, okay?" Dean huffed looking over to the pair of us. "Word gets out, we can't protect him. Not really. This is safer." Dean sighed as he reached the drivers side of the car, he looked over at Sam and me from the roof. "Every demon who knows about Cass is dead." He added and I frowned.

"Not everyone. Look, Dean, this whole _enemy of my enemy is my friend_ thing feels kind of like a demon deal." Sam pointed out shaking his head a little.

"It's not a deal. It's-" Dean started to explain.

"It's what?" Sam asked plainly.

"Mutually assured destruction. Look, man, I get it. She's not our friend. We don't even have friends. All our friends are dead." Dean muttered shaking his head.

"Not dead. Seriously, how do you keep forgetting me?" I asked looking over to Dean with a goof smirk I knew Sam was matching.

"You nearly died, if it wasn't for- " Deans eyes darted to Sam before looking back at me. "You died in the past. It still counts." Dean cleared his throat and climbed into the Impala.

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><p>We got back to the cabin and I grabbed my stuff ready to head out on the road. I knew I had to keep my distance from Dean, the pain in my chest wasn't fading. I decided to duck out while he was out picking up some food. I know it was low, but I couldn't face him right now. I put my bags in the boot and grabbed the last of my things from the cabin.<p>

"Thanks for coming Megan." Sam beamed, pulling me into a giant hug.

"Hey, you'd do the same for me." I smirked as we pulled apart and he looked at me.

"It couldn't have been easy with Dean." Sam pointed out as I just shrugged. He was flashing me the big puppy dogs, I wasn't sure he even knew he was doing it.

"It could have been worse." I admitted with a nod as Dean walked in with some food.

"What could have been worse?" He asked putting the food on the table.

"The Hell Mary. It might not have worked." I lied turning to Dean. "Anyway I'd best get off, long drive ahead of me." I nodded at the door.

"Oh yeah, yeah sure." Dean nodded as he unpacked some food. "Thanks for helping out." He added with a quick glance to me.

"Anytime." I nodded to Dean, before turning back to Sam. "Take care. And call when you get something on Dick Roman."

"Will do." Sam smirked as I turned and walked out of the cabin. As I closed the door I let out a heavy sigh I had been holding in. I walked to my Cameo and threw the last of my things onto the back seat. I walked over to the drivers side door and opened it, leaning on the roof as I looked around the woods.

"Bobby you son of a bitch, I know you're watching over them. I _know_ you're here. Keep an eye on the pair, for me." I spoked out as a breeze brushed the hair out of my face. I smirked taking it as Bobby replying to me. "Good." I muttered as I started to climb into my baby.

"Megan! Megan wait up!" Dean called out my name as I paused and got back out of the car. He walked round and lent on the roof from the passengers side.

"Something wrong?" I asked leaning on my side.

"Um, no, I just..." Dean scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"The _talk_?" I asked as his eyes snapped to mine.

"It's the first time we've talked in months." Dean admitted letting out a heavy sigh. "I want to clear the air." I bit my bottom lip as the sharp pain in my heart doubled. I knew this was coming, I knew we'd have to talk about _it_ eventually but I wasn't sure I was ready. Not after spending the last three days side by side with him.

"Maybe we should wait, get a little space between us." I admitted sadly as I looked to the roof of my baby.

"Why wait? You could be dead tomorrow." Dean said deadly serious as I looked up and met his gaze. He was looking at my arm, at the Leviathan bite.

"Ditto." I chuckled dryly as I moved and sat on the front of my car. I put my feet on the bumper as I let out another sigh.

"Megan..." He said my name so damn sadly. I watched as he stood in front of me, not too close, but close enough that if I wanted to I could have reached out and touched him. "Sorry isn't going to cut it. I know it wont-"

"So don't say it." I said plainly as I looked up at him. My heart was breaking all over again. I was back in that motel room, my world crashing around my ears.

"I wont." He answered, running a hand over his chin. "I could blame it on the booze. Hell I've been drinking a lot more since..." He let his words die away as I heard the guilt in his voice.

"Bobby." I said the name playing on his lips. "We were kinda heading down hill since he got shot." I admitted, wrapping my arms over my body. "I mean, I knew it back then... but I never, I never thought that we'd end up _here_." I let the words slip out my mouth as I felt heartbroken. My voice waved with the emotion as I fought to keep the lump down in my throat.

"I never wanted to hurt you." Dean's voice was nearly breaking as he spoke to me. "I never, ever wanted to hurt you Megan."

"But you did anyway." I bit out as I felt the pain double.

"I just, I need _something_, a distraction from everything that was falling around me. Cass, Bobby, Sam, you, everyone is depending on me to know what to do. I have no clue! After Bobby I just- I couldn't take another hit and I saw this one coming..." Dean said honestly, looking straight into my eyes.

"You could have talked to me." I whispered out, as I felt the tears spring into my eyes.

"I didn't know how to." Dean whispered out as I saw the tears falling from his perfect face.

"So, _she_ was the better option?" I asked hugging myself.

"She wasn't an option. She was just... a mistake." Dean admitted leaning on the front of my Cameo next to me. "I just wanted to feel again." He admitted just above a whisper as he looked out into the woods. "I just wanted to feel a damn thing." This was harder than I thought. I thought I would have screamed and shouted, we would scream our lungs out and in the end it would come back that we both loved each other and we'd work through it. Deep down inside that's what I hoped would happen. It really wasn't working like that at all.

"Did you ever think of me?" I whispered out as the tears fell down my cheeks. "Did you ever think of me when you went home with her?" I asked softly, half hoping he wouldn't answer me. I was so terrified about how he was going to answer.

"No." Dean answered honestly and I felt the knife twist in my heart again. We both just sat staring out into the woods silently crying next to each other. We sat there for what felt like an eternity when Dean cleared his throat. I turned as he looked over to me.

_This is it. This is how we end. We were never meant to get this far anyway, it was a good run while it lasted. We both got to feel real happiness and I'll always be thankful for that. We were good together. Now... now we have to be strong separate. _

_Goodbye Dean Winchester._

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><p>I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter! Please leave a review so I know if anyone is actually reading this too.<p> 


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